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Barbara Kennard Obituary
Rochester: October 13, 2007. She is survived by her husband of 51 years, Gerald R. Kennard; children, Mark (Cathy) Kennard, Thomas Kennard, Judith Kennard (Donald) Miller, Susan Kennard, David (Jennifer) Kennard, Debra (Rose Ann Esposito) Kennard; sister Judith (Frank) Eichorn of CT; 2 grandchildren, Caitlin & Benjamin Kennard; 3 step grandchildren, 6 step great-grandchildren; nieces, nephews, cousins, & Tinker Marie.
Friends will be received MONDAY from 5 - 8 PM at CRAWFORD FUNERAL HOME, 495 N. Winton Rd. (between Browncroft & Humboldt), where a service will be held TUESDAY at 11AM. Interment White Haven Memorial Park. For those wishing, please consider honoring Barbara with a donation to Lollypop Farm (99 Victor Rd., Fairport, 14450). Online Condolences welcomed at:
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Barbara Kennard
Sponsored by Her Daughter, Debbie.
Debra Kennard
December 24, 2024
Dear Mom,
So much has happened and changed. My family is all gone now. You, my sister, my brother and my other half. Life is so empty and I'm at a loss. I hope you are all together up in heaven.
Merry Christmas Mom
Love you always,
Debra and Coco
Debra Kennard
June 5, 2024
Dear Mom,
Its been along time since you went away. I miss you so much. Happy Birthday in Heaven.
I love you
Debbie
Debra Kennard
May 12, 2024
Hi Mom,
Its another special day without you. Happy Mother's Day. I love you and miss you so much.
Love always,
Your daughter
Debbie
Debra Kennard
December 25, 2023
Hi Mom,
Another year and the same pain from the day you left. Its been 16yrs and I still wanna call you. I miss you very much. Can't wait til I see you again.
Merry Christmas Mom
Love your daughter
Debra and Coco
Debra Kennard
October 14, 2023
Hi Mom, its been awhile since I've written. I'm dumbfounded at the thought of sixteen yrs, sixteen years you've been gone. A few have joined you up in heaven. My sister, my brother and my other half. I've lost you all. Being down here is hard, very hard. I try everyday to be strong by myself but sometimes it takes an emotional toll me. I miss you so much, I miss all of them too. I think of you every day and I only hope you are at peace and you are with the family up there.
I love you very much, I miss you terribly.
Love your daughter,
Debbie
Debra Kennard
May 14, 2023
Hi Mom,
Happy Mother's Day,
I miss you terribly. So much time has passed and yet it feels like yesterday that you left. The ones who mean the most to me are up there with you. I'll see ya when I get there. I love you and in my heart you will never be forgotten.
Love, your daughter
Debbie
Debra Kennard
June 5, 2013
Happy Birthday Mom,
I miss you so much. Things are so different now. It never becomes easier to live here. I love you very much. I hope you're at peace. I go to you and it doesn't get any easier. I've made mistakes in my life but now I have to live with it. I'm gonna be moving and making alot of changes in my life hopefully for the better.
I will always love you, my heart is empty since you've been gone. Miss you terribly
Again, Happy Birthday Mom
Love always,
Debbie
RoseAnn Esposito
June 4, 2013
Happy Birthday Barbara,
This is a day early cause I dont have access to a computer everyday so I wanted to make sure to get this birthday wish out to you and it is still so surreal that you are not here. You are still missed as much today as when you first left. Its a loss that will never be forgotten. Im so sorry I havent written much lately but my life has been in a turmoil over the last year. But I'm sure you know cause you can look down and watch I'm sure because you are a beautiful angel watching over everyone you love. I have to apologize that I will not be able to always take care of your kid for you cause our lives have taken a different road but as you always do watch out for Deb
and always keep her safe because we both love her very much. Also I'm sorry I didn't get to visit you on mothers day but you were in my thoughts and prayers as always. I miss you and love you.
Love Always,
Rose Ann
RoseAnn Esposito
October 14, 2012
My Dear Barbara,
I can't believe that it is 5 years already that you have been gone. You are sadly missed everyday. Most of the time it doesn't seem possible. I am leaving again for Florida and again I will ask that you keep Deb safe and strong, she misses you so very much you are her world and her life is so very empty without you . My thoughts and prayers are with you always. Love you and miss you so much.
Love,
Rose Ann
My Heart, rest Mom
Debra Kennard
October 13, 2012
Hi mom,
I'm at a loss for words. I can't believe you have been gone for 5 years. My heart still weighs heavily with a total loss and the emptiness makes it hard to find the way to understand. I miss you so much. I love you so very much. I think of you everyday and no matter how old I get I still cry and wish I could be with you. I miss our talks I miss our time together. You are in my heart forever. I love you Mom and I miss you terribly.
I wish you were here to talk to, I have so much to tell you. I feel you around me and I know you get my thoughts and I wish I could know it for sure. I'm gonna talk to someone who can talk to you. I know it sounds a little off but it's the only way I can feel you might know that I need to do this to somehow understand why you needed to leave. I need to know that you have the ability to connect by spirit, I know it sounds like I've lost my mind but I need some understanding, it will never be easy getting over the loss of you.
5yrs and it seems like forever. I miss so much about you. I hope you are at peace and with the family. You were the monarch of our family and it went with you. No one can replace you, you were and still are very special. You are forever in my heart.
I love you very much Mom
Your daughter,
Debbie
For you always
Debra Kennard
August 5, 2012
Dear Mom,
Hi, it's been awhile since I've written. Some days are easy others take me back a step. I'm going to see Aunt Judy this coming week, nervous and curious at the same time. I want to know her and see what's she like. I want to see her with my own eyes. I'm doing this for you, I know how much you wanted to see your sister before you left. I'm curious myself to see her in person for the first time. I'm so sorry you didn't see her before you left and I'm sorry about Grandma's headstone. We know what happened with that but it still should have been taken care of before you left. I promise I will take care of it for you before I leave this earth. I will make sure it's there. RoseAnn comes home in 3 days, can't wait to see her. I've missed her a lot too. Got a new truck, needed it with the winter months. You would like it. I miss you Mom, time has passed so fast since you left. I can't believe you have been gone almost 5 years. That just blows my mind. I love you very much Mom.
Your strength is always with me. Your love is what makes me go on and get through the days. I miss you very much,
I love you Mom.
Love always
Debbie
80th Birthday
Debra Kennard
June 5, 2012
Hi Mom,
Happy Birthday Mom. I love you very much and miss you terribly.
Love you always,
Debbie
May 14, 2012
Dear Barbara,
Happy Mothers Day, it is for most but for us it cant be happy when the person you love is not here but I have to say that because you were a wonderful mother to your children and a wonderful friend to me,which I always thought of as a mother I never had. You are always in my prayers and thoughts, and I know you are watching over Debra and also keep her safe.I miss you and her so very much. My love and prayers are with you always,
Love,
RoseAnn
Mother's Day 2012
Debra Kennard
May 13, 2012
Dear Mom,
Happy Mother's Day. You are the best Mom ever. I miss you very much. This day is very hard to get through, the most important day of the year and you're not here. Going to your resting place is heart wrenching. I don't think this will ever get easy. I had an out but somehow I'm still here. I was willing to go. I thought it was for her but now she's gone away and I don't think I will ever see her again. I miss our talks I miss your guidance, you're my rock. You made everything ok. She needed to do it for herself I understand but again I'm hit with the emptiness in my heart. Things are just not meant to be and I except that. I miss you Mom. Your strength and love kept me going but recently I'm at a loss. Not much left. We will be together again and with that I go on. I really miss you Mom and I love you more as each day passes.
Our bond between us is strong enough til we are together again.
I love you Mom
Love always
Your daughter Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
April 28, 2012
My Dearest Barbara,
I have had to leave my Debra your kid which I said that I would never do. It was really something that was so hard to do but my health had gotten the best of me and if I stayed it would have only gotten worse and I didn't want anything like that to happen. Please watch over her and I will continue to pray to you for your support and strength and may you guide us both to what will be best for us in the months to come. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Love, Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
April 10, 2012
Dear Mom,
Heartache is the worst feeling and it seems to never go away. Emptiness settles in and the the heart feels the pain everyday. Why? Why does life give then take away? Is there really a reason to learn or believe? Not thru my eyes. 4 walls filled with memories within yet the future holds the space of emptiness. I'm not understanding life anymore. I am truly lost and by now I don't care if I'm ever found. I guess I get what life feels I deserve. I am who I am I'm your daughter and I know. I love you
Please be with me always as you are always in my heart, forever in my thoughts.
Love, Debbie
Debra Kennard
February 27, 2012
Hi Mom,
I'm missing you terribly. It's such an empty feeling without You here. I know you wouldn't want it this way but I don't know what to do anymore. I turn and I'm lost. I wake up and look at your pictures everyday and I'm still lost. Someday I'll wake up and not be empty and lost and when that day comes I'll see you. Know that you are always in my heart and forever on my mind. I love you Mom, I miss you so much!
Love, Your Daughter
Debbie
Debra Kennard
January 16, 2012
Dear Mom,
I'm at a loss again in this life. My best friend Norm passed away. I'm losing the closest people in my life who mean the most to me. I feel like it's a test
a test I'm failing at. I can only take so much. My heart is so heavy, I think of you everyday and I miss you so much. Then I lost the baby and now Norm is gone all so unexpectedly you are all leaving me. I love you and how I need you right now. I will miss my talks and time with Norm, 23 yrs he was my Best Friend we had good times, I have the memories but I also have the unanswered questions, the emptiness. I have alot of emptiness. I miss you so much I really want and need to talk to you. I'm gonna miss my talks with Norman I'm still in shock I had spoken with him then he was gone. I feel so bad he didn't deserve to go so young as you didn't either. I love you very much.
You are always on my mind and forever in my heart.
Your Daughter,
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
December 28, 2011
My Dear Barbara,
Another holiday has come and gone and with it always comes saddness that the family that we have lost are not here with us. I know that you and my family are with us but not being able to see you all is always very hard. Here on this place we call earth life just goes on. As Im sure you know Deb is and will never be happy again and as I have told you in writing and in talking to you in my thoughts she just goes on. I have tried to bring her some type of happiness and keep her safe as you asked of me but it really will never be.Please give her the strength and courage to endure this life without you here. Always know that you are missed and loved deeply. I miss you just as much because you were the Mom to me that I never had. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.
Love You,
Rose Ann
Mom and Tinker
Debra Kennard
December 27, 2011
Dear Mom,
Well the holidays are over and again it was not the same without you. I miss you. I don't celebrate the holidays - I just go with it. They're just days that come and go. Sue is doing good - she's changed alot. You would be happy with her. So many things to think about. I wish you were here to talk to - I miss our talks. I miss you being here. I lost the 2 most important people in my life, You and my little girl Tinker Marie, I know she's with you and you're taking care of her as you are the others. You are the strength even on the other side. I miss you so much - I will never be the same without you, my world ended the day God took you away. I know you wanted the pain to go away, I just wish you didn't have to go too. I love you so very much, that will never change - you are on my mind every day and always in my heart. Our bond is forever strong because of your love. You were and are a great Mother and you mean the world to me and our bond will bring us together again. I love you very much and we will be together again. Rest my Angel.
Love you always
Debbie
debra kennard
October 14, 2011
dear mom,
being with you yesterday 10/13/2011 was just as hard as it was 4 years ago when we lost you. i have a heavy heart an empty space filled with love for you. i so miss you, i love you very much. i honestly thought i was going to see you on oct 8th, i had a heart attack and i was scared yet i became calm cause i thought of you. i don't know if it was fate or you letting me know it wasn't my time as much as i want to see you i guess being here it wasn't my time. i know you are my guardian angel, you were always there for me and you still are, in my heart you are here with me. i love you so very much, i miss you terribly. having roseann in my life is a gift, a gift of love and knowledge she knew and she made me go to the hospital or i would have died. you gave her the strength to fight for me. deep down inside our bond is there and always will be - you were and still are my strength. i love you and on that night you told me you will always love me, that made the bond between us stronger for eternity. i miss you so very much, i love you with all my heart mom. someday we will be together again.
love you forever,
debbie
Always for you
Debra Kennard
August 23, 2011
Dear Mom,
I thought about you today, but that's nothing new. I thought about you yesterday & days before that too. I think of you in silence. I often speak your name. All I have are memories & your picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake from which I'll never part. God has you in his arms..... I have you in my heart. I love you Mom & I miss you so very much. You are forever in my heart and always in my thoughts, always.
Love you forever,
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
June 6, 2011
Dear Barbara,
I want to wish you a Happy Birthday,and I know you are doing well where you are. Even though I have my ideas of how things are where you and my family are I guess I will really never know until I get there. Here life just goes on. Too much sadness and heartache. Debbie will never be herself again. I try to be strong and make life a little less stressful but it will never be.Always know that I miss you and my love is with you.
Love Always,
Rose Ann
Mom's Birthday Flowers 79
Debra Kennard
June 5, 2011
Mom's Birthday 79
Debra Kennard
June 5, 2011
Dear Mom,
Happy Birthday (06-05-1932)
I visited you today as I always do. I get there and I'm still at a loss as to why you had to leave. I know your heart was broken, your body was tired and your soul was damaged - you should of lived with me like we both wanted. I move thru life as if it was going to end soon for me. I am now curious as to what the other side is like because you're on it. I know this sounds off the wall but I know you are with me. I feel it. Your spirit flows with the wind and circles around me like a butterfly. I wanted at least one more day with you to let you know you will be with me, heart and soul. I go thru the life you gave me wondering as I move forward while the years pass as it gets closer, I don't feel afraid. I miss you so much, the pain I carry is sometimes unbearable. My heart is heavy as it was the day you left this earth. I go thru life not as it was meant to be but a shell with movement, an empitness that cannot be filled. We had plans - we were gonna do alot together. I love you so much. I miss my Mom, my friend. We are bonded more deeper than anyone knows and that bond will bring us back together someday. I hope you are at ease, this day is special yet very sad day and that you are not here to wish a very special wish to, that you so deserve as a Mother, I love you with all my heart - and my thoughts are always with you day and night. Rest peacefully my precious Mom. I love you more than you'll ever know - I miss you terribly.
Love always,
Your Daughter Debbie
Precious Little Girl
Debra Kennard
May 8, 2011
Dear Tinker-Marie,
Today is Mother's Day - you are with your Grandma, you were and still are my little girl. I know your Grandma with keep you close to her heart til I hold you again. I miss you very much. Such a precious little soul left this earth and broke my heart. You are in my thoughts every day and in my heart forever. I Love you very much and miss you alot.
Love,
Your Mom
In My Heart Forever
Debra Kennard
May 8, 2011
To My Loving Mother,
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you
You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me.
Now when you’re gone, my life is hard to live
It’s hard to breath,
It’s hard to see, And it’s hard to think about anything but you.
Even though your love will shine in me
Forever.
It’s still hard not to look for your hand to hold.
Even though your not here with me, I still have you in my heart and in my memories.
I Love You Forever Mom,
Your Daughter Debbie
I Love You Mom - In my Heart Always
Debra Kennard
May 8, 2011
Dear Mom,
If I could visit Heaven on this Mother's Day, maybe for a moment my pain would go away.
I'd put my arms around you, and whisper I Love You and I Miss You
that living life without you, is so very hard to do.
Forever Loved
Debra Kennard
April 4, 2011
Dear Mom,
First and foremost, I missed you more and more as each day passes. It seems like forever at a standstill. I fight my own fights, I love who deserves to be loved. I don't forgive and forget too easily, you know me, my heart carries alot of pain. I feel like I'm going against the wind, without any movement around. I'm thinking of moving out of town but my heart aches because I can't leave you, I never left you Mom. You are the only reason I stay here, I have nothing else to care about here but you. I will never put anything in front of you, I will always be there for you. I was the only one that ever was. It was you and me. Now its just me and I live my life as the world moves around me. I sleep and work. Nothing seems important to me any longer. Our relationship was unique for a Mother and Daughter, we were best friends, sounding boards to each other. I will always cherish everything we had together. I love you Mom. You were my strength, I was yours. We bonded forever, as I have said before, nothing or no one will ever take that away. When I almost died 28 yrs ago, I opened my eyes to find you and only you standing by me, you prayed for me and you gave me the strength to live, years later, the pain you endured was too much that you wanted to rest forever and I don't blame you at all, I just miss you terribly. My heart will ache forever because I feel you left too soon. A promise all my life left with you. The promise you and I had to protect each other. I will always protect you even on the other side. I know you would do the same for me here. I know I sound as if I've lost it but what I lost was the most important person in my life, you. I'm so empty inside, I don't have the answers and that bothers me. It haunts me every day, I never thought of you dying, I always thought you would be here forever. You were everything to me, you still are. I know the bond of life we share will bring us back together someday. I love you always and I miss you every waking moment.
In my heart and soul you shall be til I see you again,
Love Debbie
Precious Tinker Marie
Debra Kennard
February 6, 2011
Debra Kennard
February 6, 2011
Dear Mom,
I hope your journey has been peaceful and pain free. I miss my Mom. The years are going by too fast but then again it may bring me closer to you. It is a new year who knows what is in store for them. No one sees the future they only pray for it to be as they hoped. Only they can make life as it was intended to be for themselves. They carry faith yet not knowing it is with them as they make the most out of life. I now live my life for me.
As the world moves I move the other way for life is to be lived for oneself and others, but you get out of life what you give.
May God bless My Mom for all she has done for the ones that she loved and cared for thru her time here on earth.
She was a very strong woman throughout my life and she remains strong within my heart and soul.
My Mother is one of the greatest women God ever created and I am forever grateful she was and is My Mom. I love you Mom!
Someday I will be on my own journey and learn that life throws curves but we just need to learn how to dodge them to make life as it is meant to be.
Our bond shall never be broken. I miss you everyday. Night time is hard for me, it was our time to talk and you left this earth at night. I will always be who you raised me to be.
I remember you always telling me, don't let no one walk on you - to this day I stand by that Mom. I carry the strength you gave me.
No one will ever walk on me ok. The last night you were able to talk to me, is forever in my mind. I know you will always love me. I was your strength when you needed me to be. I will always remember those words from that night. I didn't want to let you go yet I knew you couldn't take the pain anymore and it wasn't going away so you had to. I try to understand but it's the loneliness without you here. What's left is an emptiness that will remain till I see you again.
I love you very much and I miss you terribly. May you rest and be at peace. Love your daughter, Debbie
Debra Kennard
December 30, 2010
Hi Mom,
How I miss you. So many things have changed and I know if you were here they wouldn't have. You are my strength in life but I've been fighting a battle that at this point I can no longer fight so I gave up on it. I miss you terribly, each and every day since you've been gone. It's coming to the end of another yr without you and it seems like yesterday I lost you. I so much miss talking to you, especially at night. I got a new puppy, her name is Coco - she a cute little thing. She's not Tinker-Marie; she is my special little girl. Don't get me wrong Coco is special too, in her own way. They all have different personalities as do people.
You would have liked Coco; she's very much a playful puppy. I have a little girl depending on me and I guess that’s what keeps me here. Life is what it is at this point. I work, sleep and go on the best I know how. I miss the times when it was you and me, going places, talking and figuring out the next move in life. I feel as if I'm at a stand still trying to go on without you. It's a very hard thing for me to do. I will never have the answer to why life is the way it is. No one does. I had no time to prepare for your journey to the other side. I just don't understand what happened or why. One day you were there and the next my world changes forever. I love you Mom very much and I hold you in my heart forever. I miss you so very much.
Love you always and then some,
Debbie
Debra Kennard
October 13, 2010
Dear Mom,
I don't think it will ever get easier be here without you. I miss you so much. I find myself at times, wanting to pick up the phone and call you. The mere thought of you being gone brings such heartache to my heart. I miss you everyday, every minute of the day. I'm lost without you and it’s never gonna be the same nor will it change the emptiness I feel in my heart. You're my best friend - you're my Mom - I have no one to talk to and you always gave me advice on how to deal with things in life. I live because I have not died yet. I truly believe I will see you someday and I really hold on to that. It sounds off the wall but I need to believe it so I will never lose you again. I still can not fathom this, you being gone. What do I do without you? 3yrs later and I still don't know. All I know is, my heart is empty, and my soul is lost. I Love you so much - the pain is so real as if it just happened. I miss you terribly. I will always protect you in all aspects, always. I stand by you now as I did back then. You were and still are my strength.
I love you Mom
Your Daughter, Debbie
Debra Kennard
August 1, 2010
Hi Mom,
Its been a while since I've written - I'm sorry I'm at a loss and writing doesn't always take away the pain. I think of you every day and wonder what its gonna be like. I miss you so much and I hope the baby is with you, I miss her very much too. I'm going to Conn in Sept. to see your sister/my Aunt and I'm nervous yet curious to what she looks like in person. I find myself looking for you as certain things happen in my life. I miss you terribly. Sharon's Mom passed away in July another heartache to go thru. She as I, will never be the same. She's a mess - She had her Mom with her as I was with you all my life. Its a part of life no one wants to face. I Love you Mom and I can't wait til the day I see you again. I miss you and Tinker Marie very much as always you are both in my heart forever.
Love Debbie
Tinker Marie
Debra Kennard
March 7, 2010
Dear Mom,
A week of heartache and pain. I would like for you to watch over the baby. I lost her this past week, 03/02/2010 She was my heartbeat in life. She gave me a reason to live. She did not suffer, it was unexpected. I will never get over you and now more of me is gone. I miss her every minute of the day. She is my pride and joy. She made me smile she was so damn cute at everything she did. She was sassy, vibriant and just a joy to have in our lives. She is my heart and soul and I hope she is with you today. Tinker Marie will live in my heart, mind and soul as each day passes and forever on. She was great company for Rose Ann, a woman who has endured my pain in life stands by me today with great pain in her own heart for the loss of our little girl. She is the best little puppy anyone could ever ask for. She was smart, cute and very much loved. Dad is heart sick over this, he feels an emptiness of loss. I know you and dad loved her and protected her with an abundance of love and I need your love and protection in heaven for her. I don't want her to be alone. She was the reason to go home. Tinker Marie was my world, I'm in shock with so much heartache to reality. I miss you so much and now I've lost my little girl too. How much can one person handle to lose the 2 most Precious beings in life. When anybody asked me, who loves you? I would always say My Mom and My little girl Tink. Rose Ann is my life and I don't know what I would do if I ever lost her. She is dealing with alot herself. Her fears and heartache are just as filled as mine. She worries about me and she has taken on alot in the past 2 1/2 years. She has grown to love you and the baby over the years and I thank god every day for her being in my life, she holds my heart, may it be heavy she stands by me no matter what. She is the greatest love in my life and I thank her so very much for being there thru all my heartaches and pain in life. She is strong yet her heart carries alot of pain. She will always be with me and I thank her for her love and support thru all that has happened in our lives. I love you RoseAnn. And Thank you for loving me and being there for Mom and I Thank you for being there for the baby. You and her had a bond that will never break as I will forever love my little girl for she is one of the many bonds we share. I love you Mom and Tinker Marie, I miss you both so very much. A emptiness that will never be filled - life with a test - a test no one wants to face. Tinker, may your little paws hold my heart always and forever.
Mom hold her close.
I love you both so very much, I will forever.
Debbie / Mommy
Debra Kennard
February 20, 2010
Dear Mom,
Life has passed by, no matter what, its just days living, coming and going til the end is here. My life is good with Rose Ann but is empty without you near. I miss you so much - it hurts just as much today as it did the day I lost you. I'm not the same, losing you was such an impact on my life that it has made me very empty inside. I live because I haven't died. My heart is broken and nothing will ever fix it. You were my Best Friend, my salvation in life. We have a bond that can never be broken but separated for a time as time is now testing us. I just was no where near being ready for the seperation. I miss you terribly and love you so much. Not a day goes by that you are not in my mind or running thru my heart. I carry you in my heart everyday, I visit you every week but it will never be the same. No matter what I do I don't have you here with me. I don't know if you know I'm never going to forget you and always know I will take care of your resting place the rest of my life. I will always be here to take care of you Mom.
I love you Mom with all my heart,
Debbie
Debra Kennard
January 14, 2010
Mom's Touch
Mom,
I dreamed of you last night.
You stretched out your arms and hugged me tight.
And just for a moment there it seemed
that your touch was real, not just a dream.
I had talked to God just hours before
and told Him "Lord, there is nothing more
that could satisfy or comfort me
than for my mother's face to see."
God heard my prayer and through His grace Mom,
I looked upon your face.
I felt your hug, your love, your touch -
The very things I needed so much.
There is a void in my life still -
A place that no one else can fill.
But precious memories I have of you -
And I have God to lean on too.
So Mom, until that glorious day
we walk hand in hand in Heaven I'll pray
that once again through God's loving grace
I'll feel your touch and see your face.
I love you very much Mom
Debbie
Debra Kennard
November 10, 2009
Dear Mom,
Visiting you every week doesn't make it any easier. When I look at your stone - I'm stunned - I still can't believe you're gone. No matter how many flowers I bring you, it will never heel the pain or the emptiness I feel with the loss of you. I miss you so much that at times I'm so lost I truly forget where I am and then I realize the reality of it all - then I go numb. I can't believe you're gone, I don't think I ever will. I know deep down inside you were with Rose Ann thru her surgery and I thank you for that. I know you're watching over us. You have the Mother instinct in you. I know you moved on knowing I have someone in my life that would always be in my life. I will always take care of things Mom. I know what you expected of me and that didn't change. I hold your love within me always. I will carry our memories til I hold your hand again. I love you so much. My heart remembers and it hurts. It hurts for the loss of you - the every day emptiness that I wake up with. I look at your pictures and it seems like yesterday that I held your hand and begged you to fight will all your power to live. You told me every day that the father of the house said you can go home - I know you were in pain and you could not take it any longer but we didn't prepare each other for the loss within our lives. You are free of pain and that is all I ever wanted for you. You were at peace well before your time to go - it was me who could not accept it. I will the day I see you again. I love you so very much Mom - I miss you every day, in my heart you will always be.
143,
Debbie
Debra Kennard
October 2, 2009
Dear Mom,
Its nearing the 2yr mark since you've been gone and its not any easier without you. Nothing will ever be the same and I feel so lost without you. I miss you every day - thoughts of you are with me always. So much has changed but not for the good, not that it would of. I need you more today and even more tomorrow but that will not happen I know that. In my heart you will always be just as you told me I will be with you always. I know you are gone but I don't accept it, I never will. The emptiness within me will always be there. I am lost and I will never be found. I love you more today for the Mom you were to me and I will cherish the memories we have had together and I will never forget Mom. I love you so much and I miss you terribly. Not a day goes by that I wonder why and that will always be with me til I'm with you.
Rest and be at peace. I love you-
Debbie
Debra Kennard
August 30, 2009
Dear Mom,
How I miss you everyday and it doesn't get any easier. For some it does but I don't know where to turn sometimes. You're my Mother and my friend, you were there for everything with me. We went thru it all together. And now I need to learn what life is like without my Mother and my best friend. I wonder at times if you are with Grandma and Grandpa Wehner, I know at times I have been selfish, you didn't have your Mom throughout your life and maybe that's why you were the Mother you were, close to her children, wanting the best for them, doing everything possible to make it happen. You did it all on your own. That made you the strong loving Mother I knew all my life and I thank you for that. I still miss you terribly. I love you with all my heart Mom you are and always will be the Best Mother anyone could have had and I am so glad you are mine and very thankful we had the relationship we had. I don't think I could go thru years missing out on everyday life without you in it and being together throughout my life til I lost you. I could never forgive myself not seeing or talking to you everyday and being there for each other as we were. I love you for everything you did for me and I thank god everyday for You.
I love you more today and I will love you more tomorrow. I miss you Mom.
Love always, Debbie
Debra Kennard
July 13, 2009
Dear Mom,
I am so lost without you. Still til this day, I look at your pictures and I wonder, is this really true, are you really gone forever? I think of you every day and hope you are at peace. Know that I know but at times its hard not to lose it. I never expected you to leave not yet, not now. I go by the house, it's not the same, it never will be, that was our home. It was because of Grandpa's help that the house was a home back then for us. In due time all of it will come together. If you're watching you'll see. I love you Mom and I miss you so much it still hurts when I look for you in certain places where you use to be and you are no longer there. I will someday be with you and know until then, you will be in my heart til it is my time. Rest my sweet Mom.
I love you very much.
Debbie
Debra Kennard
June 28, 2009
Dear Mom,
How time is going by and things are changing but the loss and emptiness will never change. I miss you more today than yesterday. I wish for just one more day with you. I look at the stars and I see you.
So much I need your help with, your guidance is very important to me within my life. I love you with all my heart.
You will always be with me Mom, always.
1 4 3
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
June 8, 2009
Dearest Barbara,
Happy Birthday. Im sorry that I didn't write on your day,but you were in my thoughts.Its not such a happy day for Debbie and I cause we can't celebrate it with you, but we are always thinking of you. You are never out of our thoughts.You are always in my prayers. I miss you so very much.
Love you always,
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
June 7, 2009
June 5, 2009
Dear Mom,
It's your birthday and its the hardest day of my life. I went and visited your resting place and it kills me to know I can't see or hear you anymore. I try to understand death, I saw it enough in my life but I never imagined you being gone. I hope you know what you mean to me. You mean the world to me. It will always be a special day because it is your special day. It's special to me because you are my Mother and I love you very much. You are such an influence on my life. You were the center of my life. The bond we have is so strong I fell apart because I don't have you here anymore. The flowers I leave you every week are a symbol of my love for you and to let you look down on me and know I look up to you still. I was blessed because God gave you to me and you are the Best Mother, we are friends for life and most of all we are Mother, daughter forever. I miss you so very much. Rose Ann looks up to you too as a Mother and she misses you too. We love you very much Mom. I wish you a Happy Birthday Mom. 77
143
Debbie
Debra Kennard
May 20, 2009
Dear Mom,
I don't know if it’s ever going to get easier without you here. I see the image of you in my mind everyday and I lose it. I can't deal with the loss of you. I don't think I ever will. I miss you so much. The days go by but the pain is still there, so strong as if it was yesterday that you left. I need you; I need to talk to you. I need to see you again. I think of you all the time, I feel so lost without you. It's so different without you here. Like I'm in another world, a world that holds me back from you. We have such a bond that you leaving cannot break nor can the world itself. Someday Mom, Someday. I so miss talking to you, being with you everyday. I feel like I've been misplaced. Everyday that goes by makes me realize what a major part you were in my life; with you leaving there has become such a very empty space in my life. No one will ever fill that space. You and I were so close that life itself was the only thing that could part us, for now. I love you very much Mom, and I miss you so much. It is such a painful feeling everyday to face. Not going downstairs every morning and seeing you, hear you say hello, rips me apart little by little. I didn't go home, I lost your home. It wasn't the same without you; it was like walking into a strange place. You made it a home no matter what. I vowed to go home only when you did, you didn't. When I lost you, I lost me. I will never be the same; my life is not the same, it never will be. I so miss you.
I love you Mom
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
May 11, 2009
Dearest Barbara,
Im sorry that I didn't go to your grave site with Debbie, but I had to go with my son and grandchildren. You were in my thoughts as you are always. I wore the ring that Debbie got for you so I could feel close to you since I couldn't pray for you at your site.I didn't want her to go alone but as she said I am a mother also.At times I feel quilty,that my children still have me, when I see how much Debbie aches to have you back in her life. As I always say I truly wish that I could help her, but no one can. All I can do is always be here for her and for you. You are always in my heart and prayers. You are sadly missed as always.
Love,
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
May 10, 2009
Dear Mom,
It's Mother's Day and you're not here. Such an empty feeeling. I will never get over the loss of you. I feel so lost without you here. I want to talk to you, hold your hand and tell you how much I miss you and what you mean to me. I go thru life sometimes wondering, can this really be true? Are you really gone? Because even though I see your stone, in my heart I cannot accept it. I never thought in a millions years I would go there and see your name so soon in front of me. My meaning in life was to always be there for you, to take care of you and I was but God felt you had suffered enough with pain and freed you of that pain. So many things to tell you, I wish I had one more day to be with you, to tell you how much I love you. Someday I will see you again, I truly believe that. Not a day goes by that you are not on my mind and in my heart.
Happy Mother's Day Mom! I Love you very much and I truly miss you every day of my life.
Love you always,
Your Daughter Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
April 17, 2009
Dear Barbara,
Im sorry I didn't write on the 13th but I havent been feeling so well, but you are in my thoughts always. As you can tell your kid is still having such a difficult time with your loss. I have tried as you had asked me but it doesnt seem to work. I will always be here for her and do what I can but what she needs is you and there is no one who will ever make her feel and accept losing you. As I ask please give me the strength to help her.I know that you came to me in a dream and told me you are fine and happy,I told her about that hoping that she could feel a little bit better about how you are, I dont know if it did. You are always in my prayers . I send my love to you always.
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
April 15, 2009
Dear Mom,
Easter has come and gone and it was not the same not at all without you. To me, it was just another day. I look at your picture from room to room and my god, it hits me so hard, the thought of you gone, gone forever. I will never in my mind or heart, ever accept you being out of my life. I know I can never hold your hand or hug you again or tell you I love you but I do tell you every day that I love you with all my heart. The look on your face the day you left the house for the last time will be with me forever, you knew. Just as you knew that night in September when you spoke to me and I couldn't understand how you were able to talk while being in the condition you were in. But you needed to tell me how you felt and I needed to tell you I couldn't go on in life without you. A big part of me is gone forever. When I lost you, I lost me. We were together almost every day of my life on earth. Now I feel like I'm going in circles trying to understand why. My heart in broken, my eyes see emptiness, my soul feels lost. You were such an important person in my life. At times, I feel selfish wishing you were still here but at times I realize the pain you were in with all that had happened the last few years. I will always see you as a strong woman. You were always a fighter but the fighting got the best of you. I understand that, I just don't understand why you had to die to get away from the pain. I miss you so much and I truly miss our late night talks we had. I love you Mom and as earth has it, I will be with you someday and that keeps me here til then.
Rose Ann Esposito
March 14, 2009
To my dearest Barbara,
Well we are here again another month has gone by since I have written my thoughts to you.
The time just seems to go by but the saddness is still with us and as I have said before, it will never be gone.
You are always in my heart and thoughts. When I look at your pictures the tears well up in my eyes and always wonder why you were taken and can never understand why life has to be so hurtfull.
The only thing that gives me peace of mind is that you are never again going to be in pain. Please always keep me strong and know that you are so missed and loved.
Love You,
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
March 13, 2009
Dear Mom,
I visited you today. 17 months since you left. And it seems like a lifetime since I saw your face or gave you a hug. Oh how I miss you. The tears will never stop, the pain will never get easier. I miss you terribly. I stand there with so many questions and no answers. I will never understand what happened or why. I just hope you are with the family and you are at ease with no more pain. A day does not go by that you are not on my mind or pain does not fill my heart at the loss of you. There is such an empty space in my heart, an empty soul. You are my Mother, my best friend, and my protector. I Love You with all my heart and then some, you are truly loved and missed very much. I will someday see you again.
143 always,
Debbie
Debra Kennard
March 8, 2009
Sitting here remembering,
The smile upon your face
And how it made the world light up
You were full of heavenly grace.
No longer can I see your face
For you are with God above
But your loving smile will always be
Tucked in my heart with love.
I know you wouldn’t want to see
Me crying the way I do,
But losing you was a part of me
And days, I can’t make it through.
Do you hear me crying?
It’s because some days I’m down
I look around for you,
But you’re nowhere to be found.
Only pictures now remain of you;
Special songs that meant so much
So if you hear me crying,
It’s because I can’t feel your touch.
Sometimes I think I see you,
On a crowded street or mall.
I then run up and call your name,
But it wasn’t you at all.
My heart still aches in sadness
And tears, oh how they flow!
What it meant to lose you,
No one will ever know.
So, if you hear me crying,
It’s something I can’t control
Just understand my darling,
When I’m again with you, I’ll be whole.
“Author”
Ruth Ann Mahaffey
©copyright Sept 2007
Debra Kennard
February 14, 2009
My Dear Mom,
Happy Valentine's Day - you are the love within my heart. You are best Mother anyone could have, you mean the world to me and someday we will be in the same world again. I love you Mom. I miss you so much and then some. I love you very much.
My heart, your love.
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
February 13, 2009
Dearest Barbara,
We are again at that time of the month that seems to come so quickly, Just to quickly for us. Your Debbie as I have said to you before will never be herself again. I try very hard to keep her life full, but it is and will never happen. All she needed was you I can not fill the void she has with the loss of you. As I have said I try to give her the strength she needs and it is to no avail. I always hope you hear my prayers and give her the strength she needs . We just exist, breath in and out cause we have to. Miss u very much. If you get to see my Aunt Margaret kiss her for me and wish her a happy birthday i miss her so much. My thoughts and prayers are always with you.
Love you,
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
February 13, 2009
Dear Mom,
Is the pain ever going to go away? I miss you so much. Sometimes I think it really is all a dream, I think I need to go home or call you to see if you're okay, but then reality hits me and my heart aches because you're not home anymore. I love you so deeply it hurts so much to know I will never hold your hand or tell you I love you again. I'm trying but it really is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I am so empty without you here. I function but I don't live. My life is not the same, I do what is needed of me to do to survive life itself. The loss of you has turned me into an empty shell. I failed and I'm sorry for that, I will never forgive myself for it. I had so much to say to you and I never thought you would go away and I would never have the chance to say the things I needed to say to you, I miss you with all my heart and I will never be over the loss of you Mom. I love you so very much Mom!
143
Debbie
Debra Kennard
January 26, 2009
For My Loving Mom:
I thought of you with love today but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.
I think of you in silence I often speak your name
All I have are memories and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake with which I'll never part
God has you in His keeping, I have you in my heart.
Debra Kennard
January 26, 2009
Dear Mom,
I haven't written in awhile, I'm still at a loss and still can't believe you are really gone. So much has changed yet everything in my heart is the same, empty. I know you had to leave this earth but knowing such a heartbreaking thought just crushed me. I didn't want you to go, if I had it my way you would still be here today.
For now and forever, I want to keep it as it is. I will not walk away from it all. I can't. I cannot callously discard your memories, or do the moving on thing. I need to keep your things as they were when you left. I can't let go and clear it all away as if you were never here. Those are your memories and I just can't let go for fear I am letting go of you. I will stay in this moment with you for I will never forget you or what you meant to me. I look at your pictures and I remember as if it was yesterday when they were taken. I laugh yet I still cry for you and wonder why. I wonder what happened, why did it happen. I wish I had more time with you to understand all that was happening. I know you don't want me to be this way but I know no other way to deal with the loss of you.
Rose Ann Esposito
January 13, 2009
Dearest Barbara,
Its the 13th of January and I just can't believe how the months just go flying by as do the years. Even though time goes bye your not being here has not lessoned. You are missed today as much as the first day you were taken from us.
There is not a day that goes by that Debbie or I don't think of you or mention you. You are forever in my heart. Again as always I ask you to please keep Debbie strong and know that I love you and miss you.
Love you,
Rose Ann
Rose ann Esposito
January 4, 2009
My Dearest Barbara,
We are entering another year without you. It will be no different than the last. The emptiness is still here and will always remain here.The holidays come and go but there is a tremendous void in our hearts.
You not being here will always be a saddness we will never be over.Watch over us as we try to make it through another year without you.You are always in my thoughts and prayers and as always know how much you are missed and loved with each passing day.
Love you,
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
December 26, 2008
My Dearest Mom,
I wanted you to know everyday is a struggle to get thru without you here. I miss our talks, I miss you. I feel so lost at times. It real does feel like a dream, a bad dream with you gone. Christmas has come and gone and it was just another day to me. I want to go and see your sister but it seems strange after all these years knowing of them but never meeting them. At the memorial for you, they gave an angel with your name on it. In my eyes, you will always be an angel. They remember as I do and I will never forget you, not a day passes I don't think of you. Not a day goes by you are not in my thoughts. We had such a bond that everything I do in life reminds me of you. I look back and I always talked things over with you. I miss that. I miss our late night talks and I miss seeing you the most. I love you with all my heart and then some Mom. My life has changed so much that it will never be the same, the most important person in the world to me is gone. My heart is broken. I miss you so much. I try to stay strong as you have taught me but there are times I can't handle the dismay that comes within life itself. So many things you wanted done right have gone wrong all at the root of it all. You know as much as I do what needed to be done all for the right reasons but now have been done for unknown thoughts.
I love you Mom, and I will always carry you in my mind and heart. I miss you terribly, I will the rest of my life.
143
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
December 13, 2008
Dearest Barbara,
Here it is that time again. The year and the months just seem to fly by.Still not believing that you are gone. Last Saturday we went to a memorial for you and it was so beautiful. The tears started to fall as soon as I sat down realizing that you are in such a beautiful place but here where you are not it is a very sad place without you. You are missed so much. I am leaving in a few days to visit Sean for the holiday and I have a favor to ask of you because I know you can do this, please watch over Debbie for me and keep her strong and safe. As always miss you more each passing day and love you with all my heart.
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
November 15, 2008
To my Mom,
Life seems unkind to have taken you so soon. And yes I can not accept it. I try to understand and look at other love ones that have past on but you were just too special in my life to see it that way. I love you so much. You are my strength, you are the only one I could ever count on to guide the path I walk. Having no family makes it hard, no one there to help or understand what we had together or even what I am going thru with the loss of you. I will always have pride in my heart knowing you are my Mother and that I am a better person because of that. Many chages in my life but they all surround you - Your wisdom helps me thru life but the emptiness remains in my heart. I only hope you are happy and free of pain. You endured so much pain and I am so sorry I couldn't make that easier on you. I couldn't let this journal end because I thought I would be closing the door to you and I could never do that. I know this is not how things should be but I need to let things out and someday you will know. For every day that passes I think of you, speak of you and I miss you terribly. I feel you are my angel walking beside me and you will guide me from the other side. My only hope is someday I will be with you again.
With all my heart Mom, I love you.
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
November 14, 2008
To my dearest Barb,
Today is 1 year and 1 month since you have been gone. Nothing here has changed the saddness is here and always will be. You are missed so very much and life here on earth will never be the same. We just exist, I have tried to my ultimate strength to help Debbie and it is to no avail. Please pray to keep giving me the strength to help her. You are missed every day that goes by. You are always in my prayers.
Love You,
Rose Ann
Rose Ann Esposito
October 13, 2008
To my Dearest Barb,
How can it be that it is one year today that you left us. It seems like it is just so surreal. I know that you are looking down at us and watching over us, and today on the anniversary of you leaving us the sun is shining and in those rays of sunshine is your smile, letting me know that all is well with you. Your free of pain and the anguish you went threw here on earth. The only thing is that here on earth you did leave behind saddness and sorrow for the two people that loved you most.
I try everyday to do what is best for Debbie, somedays it seems to be alright but I know that she will never be over losing you. As we spoke of before I will always be here for her to try to make her stronger, guide her, and love her. I not only lost you but I lost her. Pray for me Barb to give me the strength I need.
I to miss you with all my heart, because in the years that we became as close as we did I finally had a mother that I never had. I love you and miss you so much. Always know that I carry you in my heart always, and someday I will see you again.
Love you,
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
October 13, 2008
Dear Mom,
A year ago today you were taken away. No warning you were leaving. I never in a million years thought you would die. I always thought you would be here forever. I never imagined my life without you. The loss of you consumes me at times that I think its all a bad dream, maybe a test or something but not death. I still can't bring my heart to accept you being gone. You were always there for me, now I have to face it alone. We never talked about this day, I never wanted this day to come. I miss you so much. I just want to hold your hand again. Tell you one more time I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't with you when God told you it was time to go home. You tried to tell me he was near. I wouldn't believe it because I didn't want to let you go. I miss talking to you. I miss you tell me everything will be ok. I miss you. I love you with all my heart and then some.
Rest Mom, Please be at peace. I am doing the best I can to deal with life's curves and shortcomings. I don't know what it would be like to have help. I only have Rose Ann, your friend for life, my life by my side. If it wasn't for her, who knows. See, I need you to talk to, to tell me how to deal with things. I miss your love, I miss my Mother. I will as always bring you flowers today for today I lost you but will never forget you. I love you Mom
Debbie
Debra Kennard
October 13, 2008
How could I ever forget you
The stars still shine for you to me
How could I ever forget you
You helped me be who I was meant to be
How could I ever stop loving you
When you always stood by my side
The oceans go on forever
My tears are also that wide
How can I ever forget you
With all that we have been through
I give all my love to you today and forever
How can I ever forget your smile
When the sun still shines down
I could look the world over
And never find anyone like you
How could I ever forget you
When with my heart you hold
How could I ever forget you
You carried my soul away on this very day
My feelings for you will not change
They could not, for they are intertwined.
You love me and took care of me
Now you are with the angels above
your spirit is now pure as a white dove
How could I ever forget you
For your love will hold my heart forever
How could I ever forget you
You’re My Mom, my friend.
I could never forget you
Your love is embedded in my heart forever.
I love you and miss you so very much Mom
Debbie
Debra Kennard
October 13, 2008
To my Wonderful Mom,
A year ago today the life we knew forever changed.
A year ago today a daughter had her heart completely shattered.
A year ago today my heart is still broken, but our bond will forever stay.
A year ago today the link to eight, suddenly became seven.
A year ago today we cried as a family.
A year ago today our family chain was broken, and nothing seems the same.
A year ago today the once strong heart stopped beating.
A year ago today a part of us all died.
It broke our hearts to lose you; you did not go alone.
A year ago today you went to the gates of heaven.
A year ago today God took you home Mom.
The world is a better place for you having been in it.
A year later I still hurt, I still cry, and I think of you everyday.
A year later I still miss my Mother, the strength of me.
Today Mom I remember you, and I hold you close to my heart always.
Today Mom I celebrate you, your smile, your laughter, and your strength.
Today I look at the ocean and see you pain free.
Today I pray for you to watch over me always.
I was given a gift when God made you my Mother.
Today I Honor You, And Thank You for all the years you have given me.
A year ago today, God took a part of me away.
I love you with all my heart and soul
for the wonderful mother you are; your love is still my guide.
To my Dear Mom,
Thank you for the memories,
Thank you for being My Mom.
Debra Kennard
October 9, 2008
Dear Mom,
I Miss you and Love you very much. I feel like I'm on a long road with no end. I can not believe you have been gone almost a year. Why can't I understand all this? Why do I sometimes feel like I'm gonna walk in the house and there you are. Life without you is a empty space that will never be filled. The loss of you is so deep for me. I miss you with all my heart Mom. Time will never heal my broken heart. It will never be the same. The day I lost you, I lost me.
I want you to know, I will hold you in my heart forever. This will be with you someday. No matter what, I will always be here for you. Our bond of memories is what keeps me going. Without you, my life is not the same. I Love you Mom and I miss you every day.
Love always,
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
September 17, 2008
Dearest Barb,
It is now 11 months since you have left us. It is as hard today as it was then. You are so sadly missed, I try to make things easier for Debbie but most of the time it is to no avail. She has truly lost the love of her life, and I now know she will never be the same person again. I know in my heart that you are at peace, because where you are there is nothing but peace and tranquility, but down here on earth you have left behind your kid who is just full of sadness and heartache. Your kid that you told me to care for and love and you knew that I would do that. I do what you have asked and she will never be that kid again. Please give me the strength I need to continue to do as you asked of me. You are so sadly missed and loved.
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
September 13, 2008
For My Loving Mom,
Why is the time going by so fast? It seem like yesterday that I lost you. Why did you have to leave so soon? So much was unsaid, so much I wanted to tell you - I still do. I miss you deeply - I look at your pictures and I so truly cannot believe you are gone. I love you with all my heart Mom. I see life passing me by yet I feel like I'm at a stand still waiting for you. There is a void in my life - A place that no one else can fill. I have precious memories of you forever in my mind and heart. I stand here now, I wondered why, why my Mother, Why now God! And if it must be, then give her wings, let her fly, so she can be free. I feel sometimes you can see me, I go outside with the baby and I look up and I wonder? I wonder if it really is true what they say, you can watch over someone from heaven. I wish I could know if you are ok. I do know your pain is gone, but the empty feeling within my heart is still here. I know you didn't mean to leave, I just wish I could of taking the pain away instead of God taking you away. 11 Months ago today you were taken to a better place, oh how I tried so hard to accept that it was better for you to go, then to suffer any longer. I will always remember that day you talked so clearly to me and told me I will be ok because you will always love me no matter what and that I will always be with you forever. I have the strength that you gave me, but to go on is very hard at times but then I remember you are by my side and in my heart all the way and that is what keeps me going because I will someday be by your side again. I want so much to hear your voice. I know you will always be there, in my heart and mind, guiding me though life as you always have. You are the blood that flows thru me and to know I have the best Mom anyone could ever have, is a true blessing. I will always cherish the time that I had with you. I look at you and I realize I am truly blessed to have had you as my Mom and my friend, always.
I so deeply miss you Mom,
I will always love you.
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
August 13, 2008
Dearest Barb,
How can it be that it is 10 months. Ten months of saddness and sorrow.There is not a day that goes by without the thought of you in my mind. What is there to say except it doesnt seem to get any easier and I doubt that it ever will. I know in my heart that you look down and are smiling at us with your special smile,and know that you are always in my prayers. You are so sadly missed.
Love to you always,
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
August 13, 2008
Dear Mom,
Where is the time going? 10 months and it feels like forever. I feel like I'm in another world. I miss you so much. I don't know if I will ever be over the fact that you are gone. So many times I want to pick up the phone and call you, I just want to hear your voice again. I'm a lost soul without you. I want to look to the sky and see something, something that tells me you're ok - I can't understand and I know I will never accept it. I want to tell you the changes in my life - Why did you have to go, why now. You had some much life left to live. I still find it very hard to look at your marker, I can't believe its there, I can't believe you're there! I made a promise to you and I will forever keep that promise. I will always be there for you. I Love you very much Mom and I miss you terribly - someday we will see each other again. As the promise of a bond in life was made, so is the promise after life for it to be kept. I miss you so very much - you are my Mom & my best friend.
143 with all my heart and then some,
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
July 13, 2008
My Dear Barb,
As I start these letters to you every month it seems impossible that you have been gone now 9 months. Sometimes it is just not real, but then I realize that it is. I still miss you today as I have every month.
I love you and know that you are always in my heart, and in my thoughts.
Debra Kennard
July 13, 2008
Dear Mom,
I don't know where the time is going but it seems like forever since you left. I just want to hear your voice, see you smile one more time. I miss you so much! I love you with all my heart. Days are hard at times, I want you to know you will be with me forever. I will never forget everything you did for me, you are more than just my Mom, you are my heart - you mean everything to me. I will always be grateful that you are my Mother, my best friend and my strength in life. I know you don't want me to be lost but I always had you to guide me thru anything. You were the strong one for everyone, mostly me. Our relationship is strong because you had the the wisdom to go forward with anything that came your way. This has made me strong but it also hurts so much without you here. I look at your pictures and no matter what I can't get it through my head let alone my heart that you are really gone. Sometimes life seems so hard to deal with, I think of you and what you would tell me and I try to go on. I truly miss our talks - I don't have it in me anymore to open up and let it out as I did with you. I am your youngest and I am alone by choice. Susie missed you terribly, she speaks of you all the time. I don't think a day goes by in my life that we don't think of you. You were in our lives for the whole time of our lives. You are the life you gave us, my life is filled with you and always wondering if you are ok. Just to see you, talk to you one more time. I love you Mom! So much.
143, always
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
June 14, 2008
Dearest Barb,
Today is 8 months that you have been gone. Why does it seem as if it was only yesterday.You have left and left behind so much saddness,something that I feel will never go away. Thats probably because you are in my thoughts more often than I can say.Just please always keep looking down and give me the strength to be strong enough to keep going and to help Debbie with all the anguish she tries to deal with every day. You are always in my heart.
Love you,
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
June 13, 2008
To my Mom,
I'm still at a loss knowing I'm never going to see you again. My heart is broken, my mind is in a stand still. I can't believe it has been 8 months today that you went away. I'm still lost without you - My life has changed and it will never be the same without you in it. I love you so very much Mom. Someday, someday.
I so sadly miss you - As I look at your pictures it comes to mind, God I can't believe you are gone. I will never except this, you are so special and you always will be in my eyes, your memory is the deepest in my heart Mom!
143,
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
June 5, 2008
Dear Barbara,
Today is your birthday, a day to say Happy Birthday, but I cannot bring myself to say happy because it isnt a happy birthday. You are gone and the happiness of everything has gone with you.I know in my heart that you are happy where you are now, with peace and no pain, but we here have to endure our pain.I really feel in my heart that you wouldn't want it that way, but when they say time heals all wounds I must say that I dont beleive in that any longer.All I know is that saddness is always around us, and we just exist, I Love you and miss you very much. But I will say Happy Birthday because it is your special day and you are a very special lady.
Love you,
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
June 5, 2008
Dear Mom,
Today is a very special day. Everyday with you is special but today it's a different kind of special not only because you're my Mom, but also because it's your Birthday, Happy Birthday Mom. I miss you so very much. I love you with all my heart. I miss our talks. I miss seeing you every day. Such a change in my life I so much never wanted to face. And sometimes I still can't. I can't believe it's almost 7 months since you've been gone. When I was a kid, I could never handle you going away for a week to Vegas, can you imagine my broken heart today? You know me, very emotional when it came to you. I am trying but most of the time I'm just going along because I have to. I love you Mom! I want you to know I will always carry you in my heart, always.
143,
Debbie
Debra Kennard
May 13, 2008
Dear Mom,
Life bares all angles, when the angle of life comes to the end to start a beginning - Someone’s life changes forever. I miss you so much, I feel like I've been living on a long weekend away from home. I look at the pictures of you and I remember the times as if they were yesterday -now it seems like a distance from yesterday to a long time ago. I can't believe you're on a journey before your time. I guess in my mind there was never gonna be a time in my life without you in it. I never imagined this happening not yet. Not now. I know you are at peace but I feel we didn't get to talk enough before God took you away to take away the pain you had. I know your were in alot of pain - I know you fought to deal with such feelings, aches and pain almost everyday for sometime now. As I have said before I wish I could of taken that pain away. I wish you were still here - I miss you so much,
I love you immensely Mom - You were, You are and You always will be the Best Mom!
143, always
Debbie
Mom and Rose Ann
May 11, 2008
Mom and Me
May 11, 2008
Debra Kennard
May 11, 2008
To My Mom and My Best Friend:
It's impossible to sum up what you mean to me. You are my confidant, my structure in life. Your unselfish devotion to each and every one of us was apparent every day of our lives. You were always there for all of us. Our needs always came first and you sacrificed a lot for us to have the best. You always said, "I have the best kids" but I had the best, I had you Mom. Thank you for loving me and supporting me whenever I needed it. I am honored to have a Mother so caring and loving as you are! Thank you for being you and for being who you are to me. And Thank you for allowing me to be who I am.
I love you Mom, you are sadly missed and today makes me realize even more how much I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful Mother!
Debbie
Debra Kennard
May 11, 2008
To understand is to let go, but never forget. To give to is to understand. To always remember is to always love.
For My Mother: Barbara
"God's Garden"
God looked around his garden
and He found an empty place.
He looked down upon this earth
and saw your tired face.
He put his arms around you
and lifted you to rest.
God's Garden must be Beautiful, he always takes the best.
It broke my heart to lose you but you didn't go alone, for part of me went with you the day God took you home. You are forever loved and missed, always in my heart.
Debbie
Debra Kennard
May 11, 2008
Dear Mom,
This is a very hard day for me today; it's the first of many Mother's Day without you. I love you Mom, and I miss you so much. I'm trying so hard to understand as each day passes why you had to leave. I miss our talks, I miss you. I will always remember the day in September when you were able to talk and you told me it was time. You wanted me to know the Father of the Church said you could go home, that it was time. I didn't understand back then why you were telling me that. I found this poem that kind of says what you were trying to tell me. I loved you so much and still do with all my heart that I didn't want to accept the fact you were at ease to follow God. But as a Mother, you knew what was best for your children as well as yourself.
I will never let you go from my heart though, you are the Best Mother anyone could have and I am so grateful you were mine. You're my best friend; You were there for me when no one else was. Days are hard at times because you're not here to talk to. I was so not ready to let you go. I have to tell myself you were hurting and you were so tired from all the pain. I wish I could of taken the pain away, if that were so you would be here today. Our relationship will always be intertwined within my heart; you are the strength within me as you are throughout my life. May you rest now and be free. Always know I love you Mom. We have a closeness that has bonded us for life. I love you so very much and miss you terribly. A day doesn't go by without you on my mind and my heart doesn't beat without the emptiness of missing you.
Happy Mother's Day Mom! I Love you
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
April 13, 2008
Dearest Barbara,
Where has the time gone it doesen't seem possible that it is six months. It feels as if you left us only yesterday. We are still in as much pain today as it was six months ago. You are so sadly missed. There are no words that can describe the pain and anguish that I feel with your loss.I try with all my being to comfort Debbie, and it really is to no avail. She is lost without you. I just hope and pray that her love for you will comfort her in her time of missing the only person who meant the world to her.My prayers are always with you and to let you know that I miss you very much and my heart is always saddened with every thought of you. Love you very much.
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
April 13, 2008
Hi Mom,
Where is the time going? It seems like forever since I've seen you, heard your voice or held your hand. Just the thought of you being gone forever brings tears to my eyes and such pain to my heart. I just can't believe you're really gone. I love you so much Mom. I feel like I'm living in the fast lane of time standing still with nowhere to turn. I have Rose Ann and I am grateful for her being in my life and I love her very much but I'm still lost without you. I just need to hear your voice again. I know there is a reason for everything but I can't find the reason to accept the loss of you. I miss you so much. I feel like a stone, formed with no meaning. I look at your pictures everyday and the thought of you being gone just rips my heart out. I try to go on but I always come to crossroads in my life with an empty space - the space you're missing from. You are the solidness of my life. I will always be empty inside not understanding all that has happened and what is still going on. I'm torn apart. The closeness you and I have will always be with me for I have nothing else to hold on to. I only have the strength of our relationship as Mother and Daughter to keep the power of my mind together. Trying to accept the fact of your passing will never foresee the fact that others have. I feel the need to always protect your memory and I will till I go beyond. I miss you so much Mom and I love you with all my heart and then some.
Debbie
Debra Kennard
March 30, 2008
Dear Mom,
Tears today, tears tomorrow, tears of a broken heart filled with emptiness. I am at a lose without you. This is like a bad dream. My heart shattered the day you left this earth. I know you tried to tell me but it was something I did not want to accept then and I can't accept now. My life is not the same nor will it ever be. I am empty inside, I didn't have enough time with you. I will honor you for all the days to come. You are my Mother and I love you, I respect you and I will always protect you. You are the strength within me. I think of the times we shared and I will always hold those memories in my heart as I hold you. The bond we share is being tested by God himself and it will not break us. I so deeply miss you Mom. You are always in my thoughts and you will never be forgotten. I will stand up to the test of God til I see you again. I love you Mom
Debbie
Debra Kennard
March 13, 2008
Dear Mom,
How I miss you! 5 months seems like a life time without you. I try to vision life before you left, and I can't get passed it. Not seeing you or talking to you has made my life change in ways I never thought. I truly miss you. I miss you yelling my name! My full name! I miss the funny looks you would give me. I miss our time Mom. I miss do things for you! My thoughts every day are of you. Not a day goes by that you are not on my mind one way or another. Everything I do in life comes with a thought of what would Mom think. For others life goes on, and I will never understand except to know our relationship is a bond of love, trust and closeness that will never break or fade away. I love you with all my heart and then some. You are truly missed and loved very much by me. The baby misses you too, she goes in the house and looks at your chair and then looks at me as to say where is Grandma? She misses sitting on your lap and you giving her back rubs. She is another lost soul as I am. I will never accept the loss of you so I hope to see you again someday. I need to see you again someday. I love you Mom!
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
March 13, 2008
Dearest Barbara,
I can't believe that I am writing again on the 5th month of your leaving us. The months are going so fast and it is still so hard to believe that you are gone. You are never not in my thoughts and prayers. Just to let you know that you are missed terribly. But I am sure you know that. Because I know that you are always watching out for us.
Love you,
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
March 5, 2008
Mom-
I'm doing something to change the way I look at life - for you, life was too short - And my life has changed drastically since you've gone. And this, I hope will make you proud of me someday. The someday, will be when I see you again. I love you and miss you so very much.
Debbie
Debra Kennard
February 21, 2008
Hi Mom,
I visited your resting place today. I placed 3 yellow roses on your stone like I told you I would. I will always give you roses Mom, for the rest of my life. I look at your stone and at times I think I'm in a bad dream. I can't fathom that it is your stone, I get lost at the thought of what it says, your name! You're not suppose to be there. I wish I could talk to you. I wish I knew you were in a better place as everyone keeps telling me. I wish I knew you were alright. I love you and miss you so much Mom!
Debbie
Mom & Dad 35th Wedding Anniversary
February 14, 2008
Debra Kennard
February 14, 2008
For you Mom,
Mom
You were my Valentine when I first learned what Valentines were.
You were my Valentine when no one else wanted to be.
You were my Valentine just as an excuse to share some candy with.
You were my Valentine then and always will be, I love you very much Mom.
You will Always be in my heart,
Debbie
Rose Ann Esposito
February 13, 2008
To my dear Barbara,
Again it saddens me so to write to you on the 4th month that you went to a better place to finally be in peace and pain free.But on doing so you left behind hearts that are so heavy in pain and saddness.In my heart I know that you are watching and guiding us with your strength and wisdom, but it doesn't take the place of you being here. Always know that you are so missed and loved and will be forever. I went to the cemetery today to wish my loving Aunt a happy birthday and asked her to look out for you and to make sure she shows you the love that she had taught me. I love you Barb and I am doing to the best of my ability, to love and take care of your kid. That is one promise I will keep forever.
Love you and miss you,
Rose Ann
Mom with Granddaughter, Caitlin
February 13, 2008
Debbie Kennard
February 13, 2008
Dear Mom,
4 Months and it seems like forever since I've seen you or heard your voice. Is the pain ever going to subside? I feel like I'm living a dream. It just does not seem real that you are gone forever. My heart aches everyday. I just want to talk to you, see you, hold your hand again. I miss you so much. I feel so lost without you. I'm so empty inside, I don't know what to do without you. You were my rock, my family and now you're not there. I have Rose Ann and if I didn't, I'd be with you now. I can't handle any of this, you were always there for me - it seems so unfair that you didn't have a chance to fight. You had so much life left to live. Everyday you're in my thoughts. And I wonder why? Why did it have to be like this. Why now. A part of me went with you the day you left. I love you so very much Mom and you will always be in my heart, forever. I will always miss you.
Debra Kennard
February 12, 2008
Mother's Love
There are times when only a Mother's love
Can understand our tears,
Can soothe our disappointments
And calm all of our fears.
There are times when only a Mother's love
Can share the joy we feel
When something we have dreamed about is suddenly so real.
There are times when only a Mother's faith
Can help us on life's way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day.
For a Mother's heart and a Mother's faith, a Mother's steadfast love was fashioned by the Angels and sent from God above.
Rose Ann Esposito
January 13, 2008
Dear Barbara,
I just can't believe that it is 3 months today that you were taken from us.You are so sadly missed, your are in my thoughts always. You are loved very much today and for always.I love you
Rose Ann
Debra Kennard
January 13, 2008
Dear Mom,
It's 3 months and I still can't believe you're gone. I probably never will. It's tearing me apart little by little. I love you so very much. I've tried telling myself that you're gone though you're still with me. You will always be with me. The hurt won't go away, the pain in my heart will never heal. I miss you so much - I go to your resting place and I tell you, you don't belong there. You were taken too soon. Not that I was ever ready to lose you, I was never ready. So much to tell you yet you're not here to tell. I look at your pictures and my heart breaks every time because I can't accept you being gone. I know you were in pain, I just wish I could of taken that pain away instead of God taking you away. I miss our talks, I miss seeing you in the morning. This will never get easier for me, they say time will heal, time will never take the pain away I feel with the lose of you. I looked to you for guidance as I have my whole life. I miss you being apart of my life - You were my best friend, I looked to you for a lot in life, about life. You were always so strong yet the strength to fight for your life was taken over with the pain you encountered. I wish I could have one day with you to understand all that has happened. To understand why, why now. I knew you were in pain but I also knew you always came through. You were always so strong in that aspect. Yet this time it was too much for you to handle. I understand that but why did your life have to end. That I will never understand. I will always have you in my heart, you will always be on my mind. I love you Mom and I miss you terribly.
Debra Kennard
December 25, 2007
For my Mom:
Only The Best
A heart of gold stopped beating,
two shining eyes at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove,
He only takes the best.
God knows you had to leave us,
but you did not go alone,
for part of us went with you,
the day He took you home.
To some you are forgotten,
to others just part of the past,
but to those who loved and lost you, the memory will always last.
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