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Desmond O'Brien Obituary
Desmond O'Brien of Greenwood Lake, NY, passed away peacefully at home surrounded by his family and friends, on Wednesday, July 30, 2008. He was 47 years old.
Born on October 6, 1960 in New York, NY, he was the son of Sean and Nancy O'Brien. Desmond was the husband of Janice (Smith) O'Brien.
Mr. O'Brien was an Air Conditioning and Heating Technician with Monsen Engineering, Fairfield, NJ for 23 years. He was a member of Holy Rosary R.C. Church, Greenwood Lake and was a Coach with the Greenwood Lake Soccer Club.
A family statement reads: "We are so proud of this beautiful man who has fought so hard for 17 years, fought so hard to stay healthy and alive for his three beautiful children and wife. Desmond is the strongest man that everyone knows. His unique personality grabbed every person whom he met. Desmond would do anything in the world for his wife and children and family. He had a very strong love for all of his family including his parents, siblings, mother, and father-in-law. He would do anything for his family, no matter at what cost or pain to him. Desmond is a person who lived totally for his family until the very end. His devotion and love taught our children to be loving and always keep a great sense of humor behind everything, and mainly "never give up". He has, and we have, the strongest love together, the five of our spirits can never be separated. We will forever continue to live through him. Desmond is our inspiration to go on, until we are all together in heaven with him."
He is survived by his wife, Janice O'Brien; three children: Breanna, Brendan and Brigitte, all at home; his parents: Sean and Nancy O'Brien of Toms River, NJ; his brothers: John O'Brien and his wife, Susan of Washington Township, Kevin O'Brien and his wife, Melissa of Mt. Arlington, NJ; sisters: Mary O'Brien and husband, Gio Giaquinto of Manasquan, NJ, and Colleen O'Brien of Toms River, NJ; a father-in-law, Harold Smith of Middletown; a mother-in-law, Carole Smith, of Middletown; sisters-in-law: Amy Hogan and her husband, Greg of Middletown, and Evelyn O'Brien of E. Rutherford, NJ; nieces and nephews: Adeline O'Brien, Collin O'Brien, Spencer Hogan and Liam Hogan; his dogs, Katie and Lucky. He was predeceased by a brother, Michael O'Brien (2007) and a favorite dog, Duke.
Visitation will be on Sunday, August 3, from 3-7 p.m. at Lazear-Smith & Vander Plaat Memorial Home, 17 Oakland Ave., Warwick, NY.
Funeral Mass will be at 10 a.m. on Monday at St. Stephen's R.C. Church, Warwick. Interment will follow in Warwick Cemetery.
In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be sent to "O'Brien's Children's Fund, c/o Charity House Foundation, 221 Parker Avenue, Manasquan, NJ 08736.
Arrangements by Lazear-Smith & Vander Plaat Memorial Home; 845-986-4331. For further information, directions or to send condolences, please visit www.lsvpmemorialhome.com.
This obituary was originally published in the Times Herald-Record.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Breanna O'Brien
November 29, 2015
Breanna O'Brien
November 29, 2015
breanna o'brien
June 29, 2012
Dad,
I can not believe how it has been almost four years since you have been gone. I really don't know how we have been able to make it, but I think you would be proud of our accomplishments. You saw me graduate high school, and I wish you were able to be here with me so I could share all of my life experiences that I am going through right now. I know that somehow you helped guide me to the point I am at. You helped mommy guide me to D.A. school and I discovered a passion that I never knew I had. I've been working so hard and in one year i'll be a dental hygienist. I am so proud of myself with the things I have been doing and how I turned my life around for the better ,and I know you would be proud too. They say that time heals the hurt. I think that time just gave me the courage and strength to learn how to cope and deal with the pain that I feel during the times that I miss you. Though you're not physically here with me, I do believe that you are here in spirit. It's crazy to think back on all of the things that you, mommy, me, bren, and brig went through together. No one can EVER compare or come close to understanding the life that we had, and no one will ever understand the life that we have now without you.
I try my hardest everyday to put a smile on my face, and live life the way you would want me to. Your outlook on life is one of the major things that makes me want to be a better person. It's what drives me to be more postive and make the best out of every situation I am placed in.
I think about you all the time, even if I don't always express it. Usually i'll be by myself and i'll start laughing hysterically because something funny you once said pops in my head. And sometimes; I cry- like when listening to The Grateful Dead and thinking about times out on the lake. Sometimes when I just wanna get home from a long day of school or work, I start driving really fast on this one stretch of the road. Every time I'm on that stretch I hear you say "Slow down speed racer." - So I do. I still listen to you. I still talk to you. I just hope that you can hear me.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I used to be a sad person. There are days when I still am. It's very easy to be sad. What's hard is finding the strength inside to overcome that- and to learn how to be happy again.
Well Dad, I'm trying..we're all trying. I'm trying my best to live the life that you would want me to, and the life that you helped to give me. It's never easy, there are times that I struggle. You NEVER gave up, and neither will I. I'll continue to treasure all of the memories that I have. I love you and miss you and I wish you were here, but the memories I have are going to have to last a lifetime until the time comes where I can see you again. Love you, Dad.
"Look out of any window, any morning, any evening, any day.
Maybe the sun is shining, birds are singing,
No rain is falling from a heavy sky"
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Brendan
February 18, 2012
You never really get over not having a father. You can come to peace with it and accept it but you never get over it. I forget sometimes that you aren't here. Not like insanity like I know you're gone but I do things as if you were still here. Like I'll hear about the Yankees picking up a new player or about someone who died and without even thinking about it I'll subconsciously know that I have to tell Dad about this. And I can't anymore. Every once in a while I'll get into a funk. And I'll get down about something for a million different reasons and I think about you. And I used to think I was getting sad because you weren't here but then I realized it's because even after 3 years and after being 19 years old I'm still looking for you when I need help and get sad. And in my head you are who I need. And it makes me sad because I need you here. Not forever, but I needed a little more time with you until I was ready. And sometimes part of me feels like I won't ever be ready. I had my audition today. I had you in my pocket and I thought about you a lot and your voice and what you would've said to me if you were with me. I want one more day. I love and miss you Daddy.
grammie
March 12, 2011
the more i love the boy the more i know Desmond. i'm just so in love with this family of mine
Carrie Grotz
January 5, 2009
Janice, Breanna, Brendon & Brigitte,
I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of all of you and continue to pray for your comfort. I hope the holidays were better than you expected and that you felt Desmond's presence more than ever.
Janice, I watched I Love Lucy the other day where Lucy went to the hospital to have a baby - what a great show - of course I thought of you.
Talk to you soon.
Love, Carrie
Carrie Grotz
January 5, 2009
Hi Desmond,
Wanted you to know I went to Mini Grip a couple of weeks ago with Kyle to visit Serge and get a tour of Mini Grip. I was able to learn about chillers and RTUs too. John E. & Dennis P. were there. Kyle, Serge, John & I went to lunch. We all had such a nice time and we remarked how it all happened because of you. If I did not become friends with you, I may not have become friends with Serge, etc. Wish you were physically sitting with us at the table during lunch. You were certainly with us in our hearts.
Miss You Desmond.
janice o'brien
December 26, 2008
hi my honey, its christmas time. and its hard like everyone says but for us [me and the kids our 3'b's] we are hurting every day and missing you so much. so... we went down to your parents yesterday and then marys . i know you know every thing since you are always watching over us.we're trying our best and we love you so much. i love you. the 5 of us, thats what matters most ,no matter what.i know i have to remember this .this is what you always told me. i miss you honey. xxxxxxxxxx cant wait to be with you again.
janice o'brien
December 4, 2008
dear hon, i dont know what to do anymore. i miss you so much.i dont know how to live without you .i miss your smile ,i miss your laugh, i miss your touch,i miss your crazy comments and sense of humor,i miss you looking at me and knowing what youre saying or thinking. i miss when you look at me and i know youre saying to me "honey, i love you so much" well honey i love you so much and i always will. and what i miss most is you, you and me and you and me and our children together every day no matter what we were doing. i need to feel your hugs. please come to me soon
Janice O'Brien
October 6, 2008
dear hon, today is your birthday. We hope you like the plaques our babies made for you today. I wish you could hug me right now I miss you so much. Yesterday we watched some of our family movies. You are such a good daddy to our kids. they are so lucky to have you.I needed to hear your voice and funny laugh.Its so hard being here without you in this house but we feel like you are still here with us all the time,and I know thats because you are watching us and taking care of us to make sure we are all safe' I Love you so much.Please come to me in my dreams as much as you can ., I need you and miss you.
Your wife forever , Janice O'Brien
Brigitte O'Brien
September 28, 2008
daddy, i've tried to get myself to understand and accept that youre gone, but i dont need to. I dont feel that you are gone at all, or that i wont see you again. I know in my heart that we are all together and nothing can ever tear us apart. You are the strongest person i know. You fought for so long through all the pain, and you always kept us laughing through it all. You still are. I could never ask for a better father than you. You and mommy and breanna and brendan are the most amazing family members, the way we all stick together and always have a good time together. No matter how hard its been the past couple of months for all of us, you are always remembered as such a brave, funny, incredible person. As much as i miss you now, i know we will be together again. I love you so much, and you have such a special place in my heart, Love your babby daughter.
Willy Thompson
September 25, 2008
REST IN PEACE MY BROTHER......your passing has left a painful void in my heart......but the memories will always be there to fill that emptiness in my soul. I will miss you every waking moment. Love you Poppy.
Willy
I wrote a blog in tribute to our friendship a few short months before Desmond passed. It can be found here........
http://picturesocial.ning.com/profiles/blog/show?id=1483478%3ABlogPost%3A110737
Carrie Grotz
September 25, 2008
Janice, Breanna, Brendon & Brigitte,
I pray every day for your strength, comfort, peace and happiness. I even say your names in that order. I may not have the spelling right, but I think the order is right :) I like to pray every morning on my way to work through Lincoln Park. So please know that every day between 7:30 a & 8:00 a. I am talking to God about you.
You are a wonderful, strong, loving family. I also pray for Desmond's mom and dad, siblings and every other family member, friend and aquaintance who is also hurting - hurting for you and hurting because we miss Desmond.
As I always say I am honored to know him and you. After Desmond left Monsen, he would call frequently to talk to his Monsen friends. One day I told him of my mom's battle with ovarian cancer. He was very kind and understanding and he could relate to her battle. Everytime after that, when he called he would ask how she was doing.
My mom, too, is a fighter and has been battling her disease for 7 years and 3 months. She doesn't let anything stop her, she goes to work every day and she never complains. Even though they never met or spoke, I would speak about Desmond often to her and she would often ask how he was doing. My mom is deeply saddened as well. She recently told me that even when there is no hope, there is always hope. I believe Desmond felt the same way.
Desmond certainly was a one-of a-kind, incredible man who has left this world a better place. It is easy to see how much love there is in your family and you have a bond that will never be broken.
He certainly was a fighter. I also believe that a fighter is helped by who is backing him up and that is you. You are all so strong and I am quite confident he is so very proud of all of you.
I wish that I could take away your pain. Since I cannot do that, I will continue to pray for your strength, comfort, peace and happiness every day.
Marissa Correa
September 18, 2008
Dearest Janice, Breanna, Brendan, Brigitte, Katie and Lucky,
Although we met under not so nice circumstances, because of Desmond's illness, I still feel blessed to have known the whole O'Brien family. Your love for each other is so incredibly special and something that others can only hope to have in their life. Although I am so sad over the loss of Desmond, I know he is smiling and watching over all of us. Desmond was a true inspiration to me, and I will never forget his amazing drive, his mischevious smile and his sense of humor! You have a beautiful family which is an amazing legacy to him.
September 8, 2008
Brendan O'Brien
September 7, 2008
My dad was such an amazing person for whoever you knew him as. He was someone who had such a great passion for life even when times were at their roughest. He was always one that when something bad happened to him he always came back 100 times stronger. He never let any illness or doctor tell him what he could or couldn't do. He was genuinely kind to all that knew and met him whether a 20 year relationship or a 20 minute conversation. To me he was more than a father, he was a brother and a best friend. I will always rember the good times like playing soccer or watching the yankees or even just coming downstairs every morning seeing his bright smiling face and saying "hey good lookin how bout some sug'." he never let anything physically wrong with him change his funny, somewhat sarcastic, and overall joyful personality. Until his last breath he made sure he told me something that we told each other at least 10 times a day, that we loved each other. I am so proud of my father Desmond O'Brien who shows that anybody who has a set back in their life can push through and carry on. There is not a person in the world who could say a bad thing about him because he was a lover and a fighter, a LOVER of all his family and friends and a FIGHTER through the hardest times. I will continue through my life as he would have wanted me to knowing that I will always love him and that he will always love me and he will always be by my side.
Avraham Smith
August 18, 2008
My cousin Desmond was a great role model to me and to everyone who came in contact with him.He was always so positive and optimistic.He tought me so much about life.I will miss him dearly.
Desmond may you rest in peace.
Christine Pepe
August 17, 2008
Desmond you were by far the nices person I'v ever known your great sense of humor and good spirit was so amazing you just make people fall in love with you. My life is so much more blessed for having a chance to know you, you will always be in our hearts forever. I hope we all can learn from the way you lived your life nothing ever stopped you . If there were more people like you it would be a much better place. We all miss you and love you very much.
janice O'Brien
August 10, 2008
My honey, I love you so much ,more than anyone could ever know. Only you and I know how blessed we are to share this very special love that we have together..Please guide me and our beautiful children through each and every day until we are all back together in heaven . I promised you that I will try my best to take good care of our children. I will do this for you and them but at the same time my heart is broken and hurting so badly .I'm missing you so much every second of everyday.Please give me some of the much strength that you had so that we can make our way back to each other again.
.i love you forever and always Janice Wendy O'Brien
Colleen O'Brien
August 6, 2008
Desmond was a wonderful brother. When I was a child he always looked after me. He would always take me to the movies or out to places. His jokes were always funny and he had a great sense of humor. When I was away at school, he and Janice were the first ones from my siblings to come visit me. I am sorry he had to leave so soon. Michael and him are together now in peace.
Breanna O'Brien
August 6, 2008
My dad was the best parent I could ever ask for. He was always there for me and my brother, sister, and mom. He had the best sense of humor and always made us laugh even in the worst of times. All the memories I have of my dad are all good ones, and ones that I'll remember my whole life. I know my dad is still with all of us and inside our hearts. He is such an inspiration to me because he never gave up and never let his illness bring him down. I'm so proud of you daddy and I love you so much and I think about you everyday. I miss you but I know we will all be together again one day in heaven.
Pierre Masquelier
August 1, 2008
I knew Desmond from St. Joseph's Regional High in Montvale. Though he was in my older brother John's class, I did spend some time with Desmond and I remember him to be kind, giving, playful and always had nice words for everyone. I wish the family well and will keep Desmond and his family in my thoughts and Prayers.
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