Search by Name

Add a Memory

Send Flowers

Make a Donation

Share Obituary

Brandon Tyler Beshada

Brandon Beshada Obituary

BESHADA
BRANDON TYLER BESHADA (Age 25)

Of Centerville, VA, died Sunday, April 1, 2007, at home after a long illness

Born and raised in Newton, NJ, BRANDON, lived in Newton, NJ, and Virginia for the past several years. He served in the United States Army and United States Army Honor Guard in Washington, DC. Brandon was a former construction worker.

Brandon is survived by his mother, Sandra Beshada of Centreville, VA; his aunts and uncles, Leo and Terry Beshada of Newton, NJ, Sheryl and Leo LaBarge of Newton, NJ, Albert and Suzanne Beshada of Newton, NJ, and Daniel Beshada of Newton, NJ; his grandparents, Leo and Janet Beshada of Newton, NJ, his grandmother Irene Beshada of Stuarts Draft, VA and many cousins.

Funeral services will be held Thursday, 6:30 p.m. at the SMITH-McCRACKEN FUNERAL HOME, 63 High St., Newton, NJ. Visitation will be held Thursday, from 2 to 4 and 6 to 9 p.m.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by The Washington Post on Apr. 5, 2007.

Memories and Condolences
for Brandon Beshada

Sponsored by Uncle Leo & Aunt Terry.

232 Entries

Leo Beshada

April 1, 2024

Hey Brandon, thinking about you on your angel day. It's almost trout season and I'm looking forward to your visits on the river. Love You

Traci Shoberg

April 1, 2021

Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you today Brandon.. keep watchful eye on mama .. I love her very much and worry about her - but I know you’ll keep watch ...

Traci Shoberg

April 1, 2020

Thinking of you today! I know it's a hard hard day for your mom! Keep sending her your signs.. she needs them now more than ever. Love you!

Karen Jenkins

December 28, 2019

Prayers for you Sandy. It is so hard to be without our children.

Traci Shoberg

April 1, 2019

Remembering you on this day Brandon . Keep giving your mama those awesome signs.. love you buddy!

Traci

March 21, 2017

Happy Birthday Brandon! Eat some cake in heaven ! We all miss you here but know that your work in heaven is needed... love you!

Brandon and Pop Pop

I Love you, Mom

February 13, 2016

I know you were standing at the gates to welcome Pop Pop. Please show him how you send those those amazing signs so he can send them to us too. I love and miss you with every breath I take. Always and Forever my son. xo

October 30, 2013

brandon-beshada.last-memories.com

Sandy, Forever Brandon's Mom

July 4, 2009

Please visit Brandon's Memorial page to learn more about my son,light a candle or share a memory - it would mean so very much to me..

http://brandon-beshada.last-memories.com

Brandon, I Love You and Miss You today, tomorrow, forever and a day.

Lyndie(Joey's mom)

July 3, 2009

Just stopped by to visit Joey's heavenly buddy Brandon... What a beautiful memorial in honor of your handsome precious son... I know how your heart aches, for mine feels the same
I will remember your son with you forever
Much love and comfort
Lyndie

Uncle Al,Aunt Sue & Meg Irene

January 10, 2009

We Love you and miss you so much.

Love & Miss you! Aunt Sheryl & Uncle Leo

October 11, 2008

September 27, 2008 (late entry)

Brandon- Today Jason and Jennifer wed! We were very sad that you were not here with us physically to witness the beautiful ceremony. We felt you here with us spiritually as your presence warmed up the Church. Jennifer was a very beautiful bride and Jason was a very handsome groom. Jason's daughter Desiree was the flower girl. She is so precious. A beautiful blonde haired doll! She looks a lot like her Daddy! She was also blessed at the alter along with Jason and Jenn. They make such a beautiful family. We know that you will continue to watch over them as you watch over all of us always. Shawn Berhman was the best man in your place. No offense to Shawn but we know that if you were here you would have stood up for them. Shawn is such an awesome guy and he spoke to us about his special memories of you, him, Shannon, Jason, and Jessica from throughout your childhood years together. It warmed our hearts as he spoke about you with such love and respect. Shawn is married to a really sweet, beautiful young lady. His toast to Jason and Jennifer was truly inspiring and he also spoke about how our family helped bring him up. Shawn and Jason remind me a lot of you! Warm, loving and kind!

Thinking of you always~with smiles on our faces~and tears in our hearts!

Remembering you always! Loving and missing you!

Rest in peace Sweet Angel!

Fonda Silva

August 25, 2008

Hi Brandon, It's Christopher's mom Fonda, I was thinking of you today and thought I would let you know you are in my prayers and I pray you have found peace and are watching over your family. Send them the signs they need and please tell my baby I miss him as much as I love him. Im so sure your wings are as beautiful as you are handsome. God Bless. Love to you and your family.

Love Always-Aunt Sheryl & Uncle Leo

July 28, 2008

Hey Brandon- This week we received Jason and Jenn's wedding invitation. The wedding is going to be on September 27, 2008. Jason and Jenn wanted you to be a part of their wedding so much that they asked your Mom if it would be ok if you were part of their very special day. Of course your Mom was very touched by this gesture and told them how much that would mean to her. They are going to have a spot for you as they walk down the aisle to say their wedding vows and you will have a place at the wedding party table. Having you be a part of this celebration really warms our hearts. We will feel your spirit within us and be both joyful and sad. It is going to be a very bittersweet day. We know that your spirit will fill the room with warmth, laughter, and tears. You and Jason both had your difficulties over the years but throughout it all you both shared a very special bond and loved each other always. You will forever be cousins and best friends! Rest In Peace Sweet Angel! Thinking of you daily~ with smiles on our face's and tears in our hearts. Remembering you always!

Love-Aunt Sheryl & Uncle Leo

July 28, 2008

Brandon- We think about you each and every day with smiles on our faces` and tears in our hearts. We miss you so very much! We are so very proud of your Mom for continuing your fight for you. She loves and misses you so very much! We will always cherish all the precious moments that we spent with you. We feel so sad that we didn't have more years to be with you. We love you so much and our hearts never stop aching over your absence in our lives. Please watch over us Sweet Angel and know that one day we will all be together again! God Bless You! Rest In Peace Brandon Tyler!

P.S. Meg talks about you all the time! Today she told me that she wanted to go up to heaven and give you and her Nana big hugs and kisses. So Precious she is!
Mother of An Angel

KIMBERLY CHRISTIANSEN

April 6, 2008

BRANDON, I KNOW THAT GOD HAS YOU AND DONNY IN HIS ARMS AND YOU ARE WAITING FOR YOUR MOM, MY FRIEND AND I TO JOIN YOU BOTH. WE LOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH MORE THAN ANYONE CAN IMAGINE. YOUR MOM AND I ARE HOMESICK FOR HEAVEN AND CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. UNTIL THEN, WATCH OVER US WHILE WE LIVE YOUR MEMORIES. LOVE ALWAYS, KIM

iiii Happy Birthday iiii My Precious Son

March 21, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY My Sweet Angel - Today you should be celebrating your 26th Birthday and perhaps, hopefully, you are doing just that in Heaven - to me Honey you will be 'forever 25'.
I love you and miss you so very much.

I Love you bigger than the world and with all my heart - MOM

http://
brandon-beshada.last-memories.com

teresa quinn

March 19, 2008

hi brandon! my name is teresa and i am also a brandon's mommy.this brings tears to my eyes just knowing your also a brandon up there with my baby brandon.he's been away from me for almost 1year now on the 25th of march and i miss him so terribly.could you give him a huge hug n kiss from me and help watch over him till' i get there?be like his big brother? i'd be so very grateful brandon.your mom left me a message and i feel embraced by "our connections" as you've touched my broken heart.thank you brandon

My Precious Son - I Love You !!

January 24, 2008

Missing you Brandon and sending you all my love - Thank you for visiting me this morning honey - your signs warm my heart baby. XO

Christine, Luke's Mom Ross

December 27, 2007

Hope your Christmas was WONDERFUL in heaven. I love all of your photos. Please give Luke a hug for me. Take care my friend.

Love,

Christine, Luke's Mom

Forever Loving You - Mom - OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

December 13, 2007

Thinking of you Sweet Angel and missing you so very much. You are always on my mind and forever in my heart. I Love You Brandon, BIGGER THAN THE WORLD AND WITH ALL MY HEART.

Forever Loving and Missing You - Mom, XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

November 22, 2007

Brandon - Thinking of you my Sweet Angel and Missing you so very much on your first Thanksgiving in Heaven. I am forever Thankful to be your Mom. I Love you so much Honey and miss you more with each passing day. Today I am Thankful for the time I was blessed to have you here with me (our time together was so short - but even a million years would not have been enough for me). I am Thankful for the special and loving bond we share and for the Heavenly Signs you send me. Today I am also Thankful for being one day closer to being with you again.
I Miss You and Love You Bigger than the World and with All My Heart Brandon.

Linda Alva

November 17, 2007

Your a very handsome man, I know your family misses you very much.And I know your mom is very proud of you.

Forever Loving and Missing You - Mom

November 15, 2007

Sweet Baby my heart breaks every day from missing you - I need you with me Brandon. Please let me know that you are near and ok.

Forever Missing You - Mom

November 15, 2007

Life without you is unbearable Honey - I don't know how to live without you, without seeing you talking to you and hugging you

Forever Loving You - Mom - XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween in Heaven Sweetie. I hope you feel all the love and hugs I am sending you today. I Miss You and Love You so much!

Gilda Halpin

October 30, 2007

My heartfelt condolences on the loss of your precious Brandon.

Jess

October 29, 2007

Brandon- You have always been and will always be the love of my life. With each new realtionship, I always find myself compairing them to you, but none are as special or treat me as good. I miss you baby! Watch over all of us down here...

Shaleen Hazelbaker

October 25, 2007

I am so sorry for your loss, my prayers are with you.

Shaleen, Brett Jones' Mom
GP Group Member

charlane zigmond

October 23, 2007

PEASE WATCH OVER YOUR MOM SHE MISSES YOU SO I KNOW YOU AND SHAWN ARE WATCHING OVER ALL OF US THAT LOVE AND MISS YOU SO

Forever Loving You - MOM

October 20, 2007

Brandon

I LOVE YOU BIGGER THAN THE WORLD AND WITH ALL MY HEART.

I miss you so much baby

Dianna Jacobs

October 14, 2007

Hello Sandy and my deepest
condolences. I have just recently
joined GP and saw your email entry
today, could not believe what I
was reading as you told your story
about Brandon. I am so very sorry
as I, too, know about guilt, my
situation being different than yours, but I guess as mothers, we
feel we should have protected our
child. But that is not always
possible as much as we wish we could
have. I know how GUILT eats on a
person, horribly, I kept begging
God to take me, let my daughter live, but that bargain does not work
either. I will email you and May
God Bless and ease some of your pain
as I have the same pain, I know all
too well.
My hugs to you, Sandy
Dianna Jacobs
Kanda's Mom4ever

jennifer hieatt

October 11, 2007

My thoughts and prayers are with you ..I am sorry that all of us must endure this pain.

Daniel Beshada

October 7, 2007

Brandon
Thinking of you always!
LOVE FOREVER Uncle Dan

Sylvia Vaughn

October 4, 2007

My thoughts and prayers are with you . May you find comfort and peace . Sylvia ~ Tony's Mom

Terrie Whiteman

October 2, 2007

Dear Brandon,
Thoughts and prayers are with you on your 6 month anniversary.

God Bless, Terrie (Joey's Mom)

MOM - XOXO

September 30, 2007

6 MONTH ANGEL DAY

In Loving Memory of my Son

Brandon Tyler Beshada
03/21/82 - 04/01/07

A Mother's Love is Larger than Life

Many People Dream of Angels
I hold one in my Heart

Brandon my Sweet Angel,

For 9 months I carried you under my heart, for 25 years and 10 days I loved you with all my heart, 183 days ago you received your Angel Wings, now I forever hold you in my heart.

You are in my dreams every day and every night.

I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU more with each passing day.

Forever Loving and Missing you Brandon -

Forever Your Loving Mom

September 28, 2007

But A Moment

You'll always be my child-
I think of you each day,
Even though you must remain
so very far away.
A love as strong as this,
I've never felt before;
But you had to go away-
up through heaven's door.
You'll never have to suffer,
or feel pain or hate,
just peace and love and happiness-
God has given you this fate.
I hope that you can feel
just how much I care;
And, When my days are over,
in a flash-I will be there.
Pure unbounding joy!
We'll never have to part.
You'll be right by my side-
And not just in my heart.
But, until that day,
when my dream is real-
I think I understand,
just how I should feel...
"Mom, I am fine!"
this must be what you would say-
"Please don't be so sad,
we'll meet again one day.
I'm with God above -
so don't cry for me,
Our parting is but a moment
compared to eternity."

~Author Unknown~

Terrie Whiteman

September 27, 2007

Hi Brandon, what a beautiful memorial book. You are sure good looking, watch it Mom, but he is.
I'm sure you've met my son Joey by now, he's in Virtual Memorials, come and visit him and see his storybook of his life.

Love,Terrie (Joey's Mom)

Karen Jenkins

September 27, 2007

May God bless and comfort you always. May He grant to you some peace of mind and heart. It does
get "softer" as we travel this hard, long road of grief and sorrow.

Susan Stone

September 26, 2007

Hello Sandra I saw your entry for grieving moms. I too wait for my son to come home. The overwhelming feeling of loss lets us hang on. I am so sorry for the loss of your son and pray for you. My son John died in an auto accident 3 years ago and I write to him daily, I hope your son Brandon and my son John have met and become friends. We can only strare up to the heavens and pray for a sign that our children are okay. You are more than welcome to contact me if you ever need to talk.

Forever your Loving Mom - XOXO Hugs and Kisses my Sweet Angel

September 15, 2007

My Sweet Brandon - You always brought me the most spectacular heart felt gifts but this most recent one is unbelievable. When I asked you each day to send me a sign that you were ok in the form of a butterfly I never imagined I would receive the ultimate butterfly gift - the chance to see the actual birth of a butterfly. When I first found the chrysalis I didn't even know what it was, just that it was beautiful and something I wanted to keep - when I learned it was a Monarch butterfly cocoon I could not believe it. I have been watching it each day and tonight I can actually see the beautiful orange and black wings thru the now thin shell - any time now a beautiful butterfly will emerge and it will restore my faith that you, like the caterpillar before, did not die but in fact live on. I thank you so very much for sending me this beautiful gift, perhaps for my birthday? You are and will always be my amazingly loving son. I miss you and love you more than words can say baby.

Always and Forever your Loving Mom - XO

September 2, 2007

Brandon, my Sweet Angel - Oh how I miss you. Each day gets harder and harder to face without you here. Today is an especially hard day for me - my first birthday without you. You always made it your mission to make it a special day for me, even when you lived away from home. Like last year when, although you did not feel well, you drove all day to surprise me and that you did, arriving with a beautiful card and 2 dozen roses. We didn't get much sleep those 3 days you were there - instead we stayed up all night playing games and talking - Oh, how I miss those nights with you when we would stay up all night. Those were the nights when we both seemed most relaxed and able to talk about anything and everything. We both knew we could share and tell the other anything, good or bad, without judgement. You were my rock baby and will forever be my Loving Son and my Best Friend.

I miss you terribly and love you so very much.

Forever Loving and Missing You - Mom

August 6, 2007

Brandon

Let me be in denial for awhile
Let me dream of yesterday
When you were here every day
When the world was okay

Let me push this grief away
It is too painful, and it hurts
My world is in disarray
But grief is here to stay

Let me think of you, my family
MOTHER and SON
Once there was TWO
Now there is ONE

Forever, Your Loving Mom

August 6, 2007

Brandon - My Sweet Angel
I Love You and Miss You more than words can say. My heart aches to see your handsome face and hear your sweet voice.

Forever, Your Loving Mom

August 6, 2007

Brandon - My most precious gift in life and my greatest joy will always be you Brandon. What a privilege and an Honor to be your Mom.

Forever Loving and Missing you Brandon - Mom

July 28, 2007

Those we love we never lose,
For always you will be
Loved, Remembered, Treasured
Forever in my memory.

May the winds of love blow softly
and whisper so you'll hear,
I will always LOVE and MISS YOU
and wish that you were here.

Forever Your Loving Mom

July 28, 2007

A child is a gift
from the Heavenly Father
That comes with many
moments of Love.
But what you think
you'll hold for a lifetime
may one day
soar to the Heaven's above.
So, I sit tonight
longing to hold you
I just can't hold back my tears
There were many beautiful moments with you
Oh, just not enough years.

I miss you every second of every day Brandon.

Some people only dream of Angels ...
I hold one in my heart.

Forever Loving and Missing you Brandon - Mom

July 28, 2007

On the day God took you
I thought that I would die
I wondered where the time went?
I asked a lot of why??
with people all around me
I felt alone inside
from all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide,
I thought I might be dreaming
that I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "this can't be happening".
as I wiped another tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest
my heart broke yet again.
I wondered if the pain will end,
but mostly, I wondered when??
I's hard to be without you,
at times the day seems long,
sometimes I just sit crying
when there is nothing wrong.
I wish I had more time
before your life was done,
I hope your resting peacefully Brandon, My precious one

Forever Loving and Missing you Brandon - Mom

July 28, 2007

I Still Feel Your Love

I know you’re gone from this earth
You left me way too soon
But I feel your love every time
I gaze up at the moon.
Sometimes I think I hear
A whisper in the wind
It sounds as if you’ve called my name
As your love to me you send.
Sometimes I do a silly thing
And your laughter fills my ears
I know you’re right here with me
But I can’t see you through my tears.
I felt your hand upon my shoulder
And I quickly turned to see
Visible... you were not
But I know you’re here with me.
In the night you sometime come
To visit in my dreams
My hands go out to touch you
But you’re just out of reach it seems.
For just a flash you appear
Standing close to me
Is it just my imagination
Or is it really you I see.
Even though you’re gone from me
And you watch me from above
I long for you everyday…
And I still feel your love.

Forever Loving and Missing you Brandon - Mom

July 28, 2007

The special bond of
Mother and Child
is written with Love on
their hearts and souls
and makes them a part
of each other

Forever Loving and Missing You - Mom

July 20, 2007

Brandon, My Son

Strong, Honest, Loving and Kind
Thoughtful, Caring and Compassionate
A Son like this is hard to find.

Nothing will ever be able to mend my broken heart. I am Loving You and Missing You every second of every day.

I pray that you are at peace in Heaven above and I pray that you feel the Love I send to you each day.

Thank you Brandon for the message you sent to me last week - It warmed my heart to know that you were thinking of me. I pray for them each night and hope you will send me many more.

Forever, Your Loving Mom

July 10, 2007

Brandon

100 days of Missing You
100 days of Loving You
100 days of Honoring You
100 days of Tears for You
100 days of Missed I Love You's
100 days of Heartbreak
100 days with no Hello
100 days without Your Beautiful Smile
100 days of Remembering the joy you brought to my life
100 days of Sadness
100 days of Pain
100 days of Rage
100 days of Guilt
100 days without you, My Loving Son.

Forever Brandon's Mom

July 4, 2007

Please visit Brandon's Memorial website at

http://
brandon-beshada.last-memories.com.

Love and Hugs and Kisses OX - Forever Missing You, Mom

July 3, 2007

My Sweet Angel

You live forever in my heart baby - I Love You Brandon, with all my heart and soul.

Forever your Loving Mom - XOXOXO

June 29, 2007

Sweetie - Oh how I miss you. I pray each day that you are at peace and I ask God to grant you eternal happiness. Know how very much I love you Honey.

Forever Missing and Loving my Precious Son Brandon

June 25, 2007

I Am So Tired. . .

I am tired of crying for my child.
I am tired of being depressed.
I am tired of longing for my child.
I am tired of not being happy.
I am tired of telling people that my son is dead.
I am tired of my son being dead.
I am tired of not being able to remember what joy feels like.
I am tired of being angry.
I am tired of feeling guilty.
I am tired of missing my son.
I am tired of being told that it is a blessing to have an angel in heaven.
I am tired of being misunderstood.
I am tired of having to explain myself when I am depressed.
Again, I am tired of being depressed.
I am so tired of death.
I am tired of grieving.
I am tired of grief.
I am tired of asking why.
I am tired of not getting an answer.
I am tired of having to learn to live without my son.
I am tired of being indirectly told to "get over it".
I am tired of re-living the morning of my son’s death over and
over.
I am tired (and sad and angry) of not being able to remember...
every moment of his life.
I am tired of being tired.

I just want my son back.

I Miss you so very much - I Love You Honey - Mom

June 25, 2007

My Precious Brandon,

The greatest Blessing in my life was you.
I cried with joy at the moment of your birth.
Your first smile was such a sign of love.
I hope I hugged you then.

When you fell down trying your first step,
I hope I hugged you then.
When you said Mama
I hope I hugged you then.

As your eyes lit up seeing the first Christmas tree,
I hope I hugged you then.
The day you started school and looked so scared,
I hope I hugged you then.

When a friend made you feel bad,
I hope I hugged you then.
After I had to make you behave,
I hope I hugged you then.

When a lot of your requests were denied,
I hope I hugged you then.
When you asked things about life,
I hope I hugged you then.

When you did something really good or bad,
I hope I hugged you then.
Before God took you from me,
I wish I could have hugged you one more time.

Lark Berhman/Matthews

June 23, 2007

Brandon, I was dusting today and
saw your picture I have on the mantle, by other loved ones that have passed and had to stop and stare at how handsome you are. Hope you know that your Mom is now HOME and being taken care of by her family. She will be okay, and you will be able to watch over her and rest now knowing she is with the ones that love her.

Lark, Shawn and Shannan

Leo Beshada

June 22, 2007

Hey Brandon, I just wanted to let you know your moms ok and we are taking good care of her. We all miss you and think about you every day. Love Uncle Leo J.

Aunt Sheryl

June 21, 2007

Brandon-
I think about you everyday and pray that you are at peace. Today was very hard. I broke down crying so many times as I thought of you. I really wish that I was there for you more. It makes me feel so sad that I didn't call you often enough and tell you how much I love you. You always meant alot to me. You were always there for me if I needed you, and I feel like I was not there enough for you. I don't think that the pain of losing you will ever go away. The heartache is always there. I hope that you knew that you were always loved very much by everyone who had the privledge to be a part of your life. You always brought a smile to my face and warmth to my heart. In a couple of months your Mom and I are going to plant a beautiful tree in my yard to honor your life. You will be remembered always! God Bless you Brandon.

Thinking of you daily
With a smile on my face~
And tears in my heart

I will always love and miss you so very much-

Jess

June 19, 2007

You are always on my mind!

Forever Loving and Missing You - Mom

June 19, 2007

Brandon, my Sweet Angel

Thinking of you today, like every day, with so much LOVE and Missing you terribly.

Forever, Your Loving Mom

June 17, 2007

Dearest Brandon

Nikki, Ty, Squeeks and I are finally all moved into the new house. I am so happy to finally be able to unpack all of your things. I have all of your clothes in your dresser and some of your things on top. Your work boots are next to the dresser and I will be sure to keep them clean just like you like them. Your pictures are everywhere - I want to always be able to see you no matter what room I am in.

I miss you so much honey and hope that you will visit me soon. Aunt Terry got tickets for she, Jess and I to go to NY to see John Edwards in December. I am very excited about that and hope that you will come and talk to us. I so want to know that you are ok - so please, if you are not able to let me know before then can you please try on the 14th of December.

I went to the butterfly release last weekend. The list of names they read for all the loved ones was very long - they didn't release as many butterflies as i thought they would but it was a very moving ceremony. Afterwards everyone went back to Aunt Terry and Uncle Leo's for a BBQ for Pop-Pop's birthday - he turned 75. It was nice but I was so sad to see everyone there but you. Jason said you WERE there with us - I hope so - he signed your name to the card he gave to Pop-Pop, I thought that was very sweet of him to do that.

Today is Father's Day - I remember all the times you would call and tell ME Happy Father's Day saying I was both your Mom and your Dad. I do hope I was able to somewhat fill that void in your life and that you never felt 'cheated'. Freddie was always a father figure to you and I know his love and support meant a lot to you.

Ty really likes the new house - he doesn't really hide anymore from Squeeks and has actually been defending himself pretty good lately. He rolls around on the floor and jumps up into the windows and he doesn't ALWAYS run for cover when Squeeks walks past.

It's a house baby, but without you here with me it will never be HOME.

I miss you and love you so very much Brandon.

Forever Brandon's Mom

June 14, 2007

Empty words
That don't touch the reality
That my life has become.

Walking through fog
Incredible pain
Searching for the beloved face
I crave to see
The voice that I strain to hear
over the noises
Of people who have no idea
Of what the world has lost.

I Love You Sweetie - Forever, Your Loving Mom

June 12, 2007

Brandon - My Precious Child

You left too soon -

Please know that although we're apart you will live forever in my heart.

It's been 10 weeks since I've seen your smile, heard your voice and felt your hugs. Each day that passes is harder than the day before. My heart aches for missing you. Every night I close my eyes and pray that I will awake in the morning from this nightmare - that I'll be back at our house in Virginia and I'll go into your room and find you safe and sleeping peacefully or sitting at your computer - but each day I wake and realize you are not here with and I have to try and find the strength to live that day and all of my days without you. It's so very hard. The hurt and pain of that realization is unbearable. I miss you so much.

I Love You Sweet Angel - Forever, Your Loving Mom

June 8, 2007

Brandon

I am Missing You and Loving You so very much. I feel you all around me but would do anything to see your sweet face again and feel your hugs.

Forever, Your Loving Mom

June 7, 2007

Brandon

I am sorry that I haven't been writing to you everyday. Please don't think it means that I am not thinking of you - I do think of you - every second of every day and will for the rest of my days. I don't have my laptop set up yet but hope to very soon. Uncle Leo helped me find an apartment and have been repacking things for the move this weekend. I am glad that I will be able to unpack all of your things and have them with me. I have your pillows in a plastic container and I take them out often to smell them - they still smell like you and I hope they will forever. I'll be able to unpack all your clothes and put them in your dresser in my bedroom and I can hang your pictures all over the house. I am glad to be able to do all of that but it's not the same as having YOU with me - nothing will ever take your place or make the pain of losing you any less, but having your things with me provides me some comfort.

Saturday is the butterfly release - I do hope you will be able to feel our love as your name is read aloud at the ceremony and a butterfly is released in your memory. Jess is coming too, it will be nice to see her. Afterwards Aunt Terry and Uncle Leo are having a BBQ at their house for Pop-pop's 75th Birthday. It will be the first family event I am attending without you but I know you will be there with us.

Please forgive me if I am not able to write you for a while as I will not have my internet set-up for a bit. I will try to get to the library often and use the computer there until I get mine going. Just know that you will be in my thoughts daily and I will continue to pray to you each night. Your photos and your belongings and your memory will be all over 'our' new apt.

I miss you baby and love you very much.

Forever, Your Loving Mom

June 3, 2007

Brandon

Did you see the beautiful blue balloons Mema sent to you tonight? She wanted so badly to do something special for you. She and her friends at the Moose Club let 25 balloons into the air, each one a hug and a kiss for the 25 years of love and joy you brought into our lives. She let the first one go for me - I couldn't be there but I called her on the phone when she was getting ready to release them. Did you hear me tell you how much I love you and miss you and that the balloon was a kiss sent to you in heaven. Mema released the second one and said how much she loved and missed you too, then she and her friends released the other 23. She said they looked so beautiful in the sky - and when she could no longer see them I told her it was because you had reached down and caught each one. She wanted to release them yesterday but there was a bad rain storm. Mema said she will release balloons every year for you, 25 blue for every year we were blessed with you here and a white one for missing you in heaven.

I went to see Nate today. He said he was sorry he couldn't make it to your service. He said he always felt close to you - like a brother. He has a son now. I told him you were a guardian angel now and would watch over his baby for him. He promised he would call me so we could get together and he could share stories with me of all the fun you guys all had together - I hope he will.

As you know I am living back in NJ now. I have driven by your old house at the lake a few times - it's where I would always stay with you when I came to visit and I hoped that somehow you would still be there. Aunt Sheryl and Uncle Leo invited me to stay with them until I find a place - I can't express to them how much I appreciate it. I know it's hard having me and Nikki and Ty and Squeeks running around. Hopefully I will find a place I can afford soon but I will forever be grateful to them. I spend a lot of time with Pop-Pop and Janet and we talk about you - I love talking about you and want to all the time. I cry a lot when I do but it's because I love and miss you so much. I just hope people don't stop because of that. I will forever hurt for missing you sweetie and I will never stop thinking about you, loving you or missing you.

I sit and think about the wedding you never got to have and the babies who would have been so very lucky to call you daddy - my grandbabies. I think about the house you never got to own. You worked so hard and wanted so badly to get ahead, and baby you deserved it so much. I am so sorry you never got the chance to do all those things. I think about all the things you wanted to do with your life and it saddens me so that you never got the chance. Please know baby that if there was any way that mommy could change things, any way at all, I would - I would do anything for you honey. I have prayed to God so many times to send you back to me. You touched so many people's lives and had so many more to touch - I feel sorry for those that never got to know you, for they missed the chance to know a truly incredible and loving person - my son, my best friend.

I took Nikki swimming at a lake today by Uncle Leo and Aunt Terry's and it was so beautiful and peaceful there and I wondered if it was a place you had ever been fishing - I know you would have liked it there.

I hope you are happy and at peace in heaven honey and I hope you get to fish and do all the things that you loved to do here and so much more. You deserve eternal happiness Brandon and I hope that you have found it in Heaven.

I miss you so much Brandon and I pray that when I get to heaven you are waiting there for me with a big hug and kiss.

I Love you Sweet Angel and miss you so very much.

Hugs and Kisses Baby - Forever, Your Loving Mom

May 30, 2007

My Sweet Baby Boy

Oh how I miss you. I keep telling myself that your just not home right now, but you'll be home soon. Now that I've moved back to NJ I have to think that it's like you just went away for a little while, for otherwise I'd be staying at your house just like all the other times I was in NJ. I just cannot imagine you not walking through my front door (wherever I live) or suprising me by showing up on my Birthday or for a weekend visit. I miss seeing you everyday and I miss talking to you everyday about anything and everything. I miss our quiet times too when we would just sit in the livingroom together and watch TV. It has always been just you and I Brandon - you were my rock. I could always count on you just like you could always count on me, for anything. It's like I wake up everyday in someone else's world - for this can't be my life now - a life without you is a life I cannot imagine. I was truly blessed and oh so fortunate to have such a strong and close relationship with you - my son, my best friend. My life will never be the same - there will forever be a hole in my heart and no one will ever be able to fill it. I miss you baby. I love you bigger than the world and with all my heart.

Jason Beshada

May 29, 2007

Dear Brandon,
Toaday is the day after memorial day. I have off today and tomorrow because I am taking my physical fitness test to become a paid firefighter. I am nervous and just wanted to talk cause you were always good at listening and helping me calm down. I want you to know that i am always thinking about you and remembering the greats times we had as children. I was just wondering if you could maybe watch out for me tomorrow and maybe wish me good luck. We had some great times together that I will never forget. A famous cowboy once said " Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, But to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting... Holy Cow what a ride!"
Love always,
Your best friend and cousin
Jason Douglas

Missing and loving you, every second of every day - Mom

May 26, 2007

Brandon

I am sorry that I haven't written you anything in a few days but Mom has been packing to move. I am back home in NJ now with our family and with people who can sit with me and share stories of how you touched their lives. Uncle Leo actually did just that when he came to help me move - he saw Pee Wee's Big Adventure on Tv the other night and said it reminded him of you when you were little and would mimic pee wee's voice and do that silly dance. I had forgotten all about that and was so glad he shared that memory with me. There are so many more to be shared and I want to hear them all.
Please know that I have thought about you so much these past few days and while I am glad to be back in NJ it's also very hard. Until you got sick and came home to live with me anytime I came back to NJ to visit I would always stay at your place. I loved that -being in your home. You were always so proud and would always buy special dinners to cook for me. We'd sit and watch movies, play games or just talk until the early morning. I miss that so much honey, I miss you so much.

Jess

May 25, 2007

Brandon-

I wonder if you know how much I miss you. I wonder if you know how much you mean to me. I wonder if you hear me when I talk to you.

And most of all I wonder if you know how much I love you.

Not a day goes by that I dont think about you. I have your picture by my desk, in my car and with me everywhere I go...

And Every night I look up at the stars and wonder if your looking back..

I miss you and love you so much - Forever your loving Mom

May 23, 2007

Brandon

I wonder ...

Are you free of pain?
Are you alive and well on the 'other side'?
Are you happy?
Do you know how much I love you?
Are you lonely and scared?
Do you call my name and I don't hear you?
Do you know how much I miss you?
Have you met new friends in heaven?
Can you hear me when I talk to you?
Can you feel my love for you?
Do you know how Proud I am to be your Mom?
Do you know that I always thought of you as my Hero, my protector?
Do you know what an incredible son you were?
Do you know how loved you are?
Do you know how many lives you touched?
Do you know how scared I am? How hard it is to live without you?
Will you remember me when I see you again?
Will you be waiting for me?
Will you send me a sign that you are ok?
Will you come and visit me in my dreams?

I wonder ... Why you had to leave me so soon.

I Miss You so much - Forever Loving You, Mom

May 22, 2007

How can I live now,
when life in itself has died?
How can I live now,
when nothing will be like it was?
My life goes on, autumn will be winter
and winter will be spring...
Wherever I look, in each flower,
in every smell, you are there...
But still... How can I live now,
when my hope has left me...
How can I live now, when you aren’t here?
My Sweet Brandon, help your mom to live...
Help me to go on...

Forever Brandon's Mom

May 22, 2007

Surrounded by friends
yet all alone
the one I loved
God has called home
the hugs of friends
helps ease the pain
tears now flow
across my face
as I long for just
one more embrace

Be safe in God's arms Brandon - Forever Loving You - Mom

May 20, 2007

My Precious Son

You were so full of life,
Your smile could brighten anyone's day,
Life loved you being a part of it.

You could make anyone laugh,
If they were having a bad day.
No matter how sad I was,
You could always take my hurt away.

But God decided he needed you,
So from this world you left.
But you took a piece of me with you,
My heart is what you kept.

The hurt I feel from losing you will never go away.
And I know everyday for the rest of my life,
I'll forever be loving and missing you.

Forever Loving You - Mom

May 19, 2007

My Sweet Brandon

Not a day, an hour, a minute, or a second goes by that I am not thinking of you, missing you and loving you.

You are forever in my heart and always on my mind.

My heart is full of beautiful memories of you baby, but there is a hole there that aches for you - I miss you so very much.

Aunt Sheryl & Uncle Leo

May 18, 2007

Brandon-
Like a flower still blooming,
you live in our hearts.

Like a candle still glowing,
you exist in our minds.

Like the very air we breathe in,
we can never do without you.

And just like a beautiful melody
you are our never-ending song,

a sweet serenade, muted on earth,
but loudly heard by our souls.

And as we face this mountain of grief,
our tears become a fountain of love,

soaring high into the heavens,
arms stretched to embrace you!

Brandon- We all miss you so very much! Our family has been forever changed, and nothing will be the same again without you in our lives. We think about you everyday. The memories of our times together are joyous ones, and always bring smiles to our faces. We treasure every precious moment that we shared with you! You were always so gentle and kind. We have to believe that God has a greater plan for you in Heaven! We pray that someday we will understand why you were chosen to leave us. Our hearts ache and our minds are in a state of confusion. We love and miss you Brandon! You will remain with us always, for you live within our hearts!

Remembering you daily
with smiles on our faces~
and tears in our hearts.

Rest In Peace Sweet Angel~
All our love always,

Missing and Loving him so - Forever Brandon's Mom

May 18, 2007

I'm going to tell you something
I hope you'll never have to know.
I'll tell you how a heart can break
The tears a constant flow.

I lost my son you see,
An angel in my eyes
God chose to take his hand one day
And led him to the skies.

Please do not forget him
Or the wonderful young man he was.
Let him live forever
inside of me and you.

Please don't ever tell me
That time will heal my pain
Because not even time
Can bring him back again.

Just tell me he is happy
In that land way up above
That he's snuggled in an angels wings and can still feel this Mother's love.

I miss you so much Brandon - Forever Loving You, Mom

May 18, 2007

There is an old belief that the stars shining in the night sky are the spirits of those who have gone before us.

They have shed their earthly bodies and exchanged them for bodies made of light; thousands upon thousands of our dear departed loved ones all promoted to glory in the night sky.

There is another saying that the brightest flame burns the shortest.

Brandon, You were the brightest star in my universe.

While I burn on, my flame dimmed by grief and despair at your passing, the stars are watching me.

They are too far away for me to touch, just as you have gone somewhere I cannot follow until my own star-time comes.

They cannot be held close for comfort, just as I can no longer hold you close.

We were together for such a short time, but the stars will burn forever.

One day when my own star-time comes, my spirit will soar into the sky to burn beside you.

Until then, my flame burns low and dim and cold without you.

Through my tears I look upwards to see if you are watching me, hoping you can feel the love I send to you.

Forever Brandon's Mom

May 17, 2007

The stillness of the morning wakes me,
How can the world begin another day
When my son's not here with me.

This house feels strangely silent
His room, a lonely place
I long to touch his soft brown hair
And kiss his handsome face.

I'll never get to hear him call out
"Mom, Is dinner ready!"

I'm only left with memories.
Please God--don't let them fade.

Deep in my heart, his spirit lives
His laughter, I'll still hear
He'll forever be my loving son
Though I can't hold him near.

My heart aches - I Miss you so much - Forever Loving you - Mom

May 16, 2007

Morning comes and you’re not here
I listen for your voice, not one word is said.
I begin my day missing you, not knowing what to say or do.
I look into the mirror only to see sadness upon my face,
The day has ended with God’s grace.

Tears begin as I lay still in my bed,
Thoughts of you tumbling in my head.
I weep, until I fall to sleep.

Morning comes and you’re not here ...

I go to sleep each night and you’re not tucked in your bed ...

Loving you and Missing you every day - Mom

May 16, 2007

Brandon -

I'll never forget the day
My life was turned upside down
I couldn't breathe
I didn't know what to say
My tears fell to the ground

I wasn't ready for you to go
To claim your place in heaven
Where the streets are paved with gold
Where the river of life flows
A place where life truly begins

You are not only my Son
But my best friend
A bond no other could ever compare
A connection that can never be severed
My love for you will never end

But the pain runs so deep within
Pouring through the hole in my heart
A hole that can never be filled
A place I save for you
Until we meet again
In heaven where we will never be apart
Ever again

Until then I will keep you in my dreams
I will hold you in my heart
I will never give up hope
As hard as it seems
For I know that we will be together again

Aunt Sheryl & Uncle Leo

May 15, 2007

HUGS FROM BRANDON~

When you feel a gentle breeze
Caress you when you sigh
It's a hug sent from Brandon,
From Heaven way up high.

If a soft and tender raindrop
Lands upon your nose
Brandon added a small kiss
As fragile as a rose.

If a song you hear fills you
With a feeling of sweet love
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From our special Angel up above.

If you awaken in the morning
To a bluebird's chirping song
It's music sent from Heaven
To cheer you all day long.

If tiny little snowflakes
Land upon your face
It's a hug sent from Heaven
Trimmed with Angel Lace

So keep Brandon's memory alive, and hug him everyday. Always feel his warmth and love, and remember, Hugs that are sent from Heaven
A broken heart will mend.

Remembering you daily
with smiles on our faces~
and tears in our hearts

Rest in peace sweet angel
All our love always,

Forever, Your Loving Mom

May 15, 2007

Brandon

I hope my words and my prayers reach you each day.

You are always on my mind and forever in my heart. I miss you and love you so very much.

Traci Shoberg

May 13, 2007

Sandy:

On this Mother's Day, I just wanted you to know that I prayed for you as always, but especially today that you will be filled with peace knowing that you were and still are an awesome Mom! May God wrap his arms around you and give you peace! Love,
Traci

I Love You Sweetie - Mom

May 13, 2007

M - MY CHILD OUR LOVE IS FOREVER
O - OUR REUNION WILL BE SO SWEET
T - TOGETHER AGAIN IN THE FUTURE
H - HOLDING TO HOPE UNTIL WE MEET
E - EVERLASTING LIFE IS THE PLAN
R - REUNITED WITH EACH OTHER AGAIN

A MOTHER'S LOVE IS FOREVER!

I am still a Mother, Brandon's Mother

May 13, 2007

I ask God to help me find peace on this Mother's Day,
if only for a moment.
I know I am worthy of that much.
After all,

I Miss you so Much Brandon - All My Love Forever, Mom

May 13, 2007

MOTHER'S DAY WITHOUT YOU

When I awoke this morning
I asked myself
How will I get through this day, Mother's Day,
WITHOUT YOU

As I dress and prepare to start my day
I wonder
How will I go on, this day every day
WITHOUT YOU

As the day begins to slip away
I remember how you always made me smile
on Mother's Day and all my days.
But today is different, I do not smile
for this Mother's Day I must celebrate
WITHOUT YOU

At the end of the day
As I prepare to close my eyes
I'll know in my HEART
That I couldn't have gotten through this day
This first Mother's Day
WITHOUT YOU

Always and Forever, Your Loving Mom

May 12, 2007

Brandon

Thinking of you today, as I do everyday, with so much love and missing you with such heartache.

Forever - Your Loving Mom

May 12, 2007

Silent Screams and Endless Tears

Tears that heal still hurt inside
Waves of grief like an ocean tide
This journey that is of the heart
Took life as I knew it...tore it apart

Each day begins and ends the same
No place to go with all this pain
Though others may think I'm healed
I have learned to keep it concealed

I silently scream but no one hears
As hours become days and somehow weeks
Not truly allowing myself to believe
That you are gone...I'm left to grieve

My mind so filled with disbelief
A life I live with so much grief
The questions that have plagued my mind
Answers I will never find

Nothing in life can save me from,
Feeling this heartache, feeling so numb
Life has become a new frontier
Of silent screams and endless tears

Oh how I miss you my sweet baby boy

I Love you and Miss you so much - Forever, Your Loving Mom

May 12, 2007

Dear Brandon, my Sweet Boy

I was nineteen years old,
when my life was filled with joy,
that’s when I heard the doctor say,
you have a baby boy.
Time stood still for me,
when I gazed upon your face,
and in a minute in my heart,
you had found your place.

The years rolled quickly past,
before I knew it you were grown,
then I had to let you go,
into this world out on your own.
Then time stood still once more
the day God called you home,
now my life is filled with pain,
and I feel so all alone.

When you were just a child,
I could always find a way,
to help when things went wrong,
and wipe your tears away.
But the strength I used to have,
when you were here with me,
no longer can be found,
all that's left is misery.

You made my life complete,
the bond we had was true,
now my tears they flow each day
and there’s nothing I can do.
There are people everywhere,
and this world keeps spinning round,
but since the day you went away,
true peace I haven’t found.

When I used to have my fears,
you would try to comfort me
and assure me with a smile,
And I still can hear you say,
"Mom, don’t worry, I’ll be okay."

I don't want to be here without you,
everyday is filled with pain,
I will never understand why God took you
and left me to remain.
I know you loved me too,
and if you were here today,
you would smile that crooked smile
and hug my tears away.
So I’ll hold on to the memories,
and I’ll try to carry on,
but inside I’ll always feel,
that part of me is gone.

Dean Mckendrick

May 11, 2007

Sandy,
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know Brandon was the most precious part of your life and how proud you are of him. I feel fortunate I was able to meet him.

Forever Brandon's Mom

May 11, 2007

GRIEVING SILENTLY

Why must I grieve silently,
When my heart is screaming so loudly ?
The emptiness I feel is consuming me,
Oh God, how I wish I were dreaming.
The silence around me is deafening,
For nobody knows what to say,
To comfort this agony I'm feeling,
Since my precious son Brandon went away.
And each day the sun continues to rise,
And the earth is still turning,
Though my world has come to a screeching halt,
No one can ease my yearning.
For a part of me has vanished,
And a part of my heart has died,
And no one can hear my heartache,
Or feel the turmoil I carry inside.
And I'll go on grieving silently,
And exist on a different plane,
And I'll keep my love for Brandon deep in my heart,
Until we see each other again.

All my Love Forever - Mom

May 10, 2007

YOU ARE NEVER FORGOTTEN

My Sweet Brandon -
You are somebody that everybody knows
Wherever you are is where everyone goes
And I can't help but think about what I do now
Will I see you someday, will I find you somehow

The night follows day, the moon in the sky
The world keeps on turning and no one knows why
It goes and it comes it comes and it goes
Which ever direction nobody knows

Our times together though cut short were precious and dear
However it happened just may never be clear
I'm here but your gone I don't understand
But your leading the way always holding my hand

The night is too black those times I'm alone
The road seems to long, I wish you'd come home
And when the sun rises I look for you still
And then I remember and remember I will

The wind in the sails water covers the earth
The day of your birth and the day of your death
Mile after mile and after while the warmth of your heart
The shine of your smile they keep me going
The memories of love that's all I have left like the flight of a dove

Where are you now? Are you far, are you near?
Are you helping me live will you help make it clear
Wherever your going where ever you've been
Whomever you've known all of your friends

We all stand beside you we all love you still
We're missing you now and forever we will
We sing and we talk the world in our hands
We run and we walk while beside us you stand

For those who remain never let your love wait
When they're no longer here it's always too late
So we roll the days over again and again
And where we have ended, it's where we begin

And Yes -- stars they come and light -- yes they bring
The miracle of life a beautiful thing
We know not where we're goin' we just know where we've been
The days we shared together the memories that will never end.

We all Love and Miss you so very much.

I love you...and I always will - Forever, Your Loving Mom

May 10, 2007

Missing You

No words I write can ever say,
How much I miss you everyday.
As time goes by the loneliness grows,
How I miss you...nobody knows.
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name.
But all I have are memories,
And photos in a frame.
No one see's me weep each day.
The love I have for you,
Is in my heart and is mine to keep.
Deep inside my heart,
You are with me still.
Heartaches in this world are many,
But mine is worse than any.
My heart still aches as I whisper low, "I need you....and miss you so."

Aunt Sheryl & Uncle Leo

May 10, 2007

A MEMORY HUG FOR BRANDON

Brandon~
Losing you has left a hole in our hearts.
That hole never goes away...
we will learn to live with it.
With acceptance of the loss
and changes in our lives.
we pray for the pain to lessen.
Eventually memories fill up the space,
but it never goes away.
Then, when you least expect it,
a memory spills out
of the hole in your heart
and washes you clean again with tears.
Think of it as a "MEMORY HUG"

Remembering you always with love Brandon Tyler~

Rest In Peace Sweet Angel!
Hugs & Kisses,

Aunt Sheryl & Uncle Leo

May 9, 2007

Give What's Left of Me Away

Now that I'm gone,
remember me with a smile and laughter.
And if you need to cry,
cry with your brother or sister
Who walks in grief beside you.

And when you need me,
put your arms around anyone
and give to them
what you need to give to me.

There are so many
who need so much.
I want to leave you something.
Something much better
than words or sounds.

Look for me
in the people
I've known and loved or helped
in some special way.
Let me live in your heart
as well as your mind.

You can love me most
by letting your love
reach out to our loved ones.
By embracing them
and living in their love.

Love does not die,
people do.
So, when all that's left of me is love,
give me away as best you can.

We will always give Brandon's love away to all of his family and friends. His love is endless! Brandon's gentle spirit and warm heart will always inspire us. Brandon will forever live in our hearts and minds. We will cherish each and every precious moment that we shared with Brandon. We will look at his pictures often and we will speak of him daily. Each and everyday we will remind ourselves that Brandon will forever be with us, for he lives within our hearts!
Rest In Peace Sweet Angel~

Remembering and loving you always Brandon!
All our love always,