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Leona Baker Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Leona Baker
October 31, 2008
LEE,
Sometimes I sit and wonder,
About so many things.
Like why God had to take you,
And give you angel wings.
We'll never know the answer,
So there’s only one thing we can do.
We'll hold on to the memories,
And keep on loving you.
We know you’re up there somewhere
Living a brand new life
But oh Lee how I wish,
That you were still here with us.
I can't believe that a year has past. Sometimes it seems like an eternity and others it seems like yesterday that you were here.
I think of you often , sometimes it brings a tear and at other times a smile , either way it is still you .
Miss & Love you
Patti
Stefanie
October 30, 2008
Good Morning Mom,
Well, It has been one year since we lost you. What a year, one I would rather forget for the most part. I sometimes don't understand the meaning of all that happens in life. First we lose you, the foundation of our family, then all that stuff in the middle,(you know) and now Dad. Why? I just don't understand why things like this keep happening. One Year ago today, I woke up early like always, but I had a happy feeling in my heart. You were coming home. Now one year later, I woke up early and this time, the happiness is replaced by sadness. You never came home. You never returned. I miss you so much and I still can't believe I don't have you here. I think of you all the time every day. I still have no co-pilot, I still have emptiness where you used to be. My days are so busy now taking care of Dad. I thank you for giving him another chance at life, but I only wish he could live it. To have just one more day to drive his car, play his numbers, live a little. I want that for him. He is so sorry for what he has done in life. He loves you, and you know that I am sure. Please keep him safe until the end. Keep him comfortable and warm. He is not afraid, but I am. What will we do? How does this all happen? If you were here, you would know what to do. I am trying, but what if it isn't enough? I only know that one year ago today, I was supposed to see you again, and it didn't happen that way. I miss you every single day and I love you so much that it hurts. Please stay with us, let me know you are here. Watch over this whole mess and help make it right please.I miss you Mommie-pie. I want you to come home.
Until then, I love you
Stef
xooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
October 7, 2008
Hi Lee...I know the girls are busy helping their Dad get well...My prayers for them always...Today marks the first anniversary of my mom's passing..Like your girls are missing you...we too are missing our mom....Prayers for both of you to rest in peace..I know you are watching over your girls and their families...Just wanted to check in and send our love....
Love
Rosanne & Kathy
Rosanne
September 25, 2008
Hi Lee....Prayers for you today sitting here thinking of all that happened last year to all of us...I know you are watching all that is happening these past weeks..Prayers for your husband to get well and prayers for the girls...They need you there...as you've been...at the hospital ....to watch over things when they must leave to tend their families...Give Steph & Pam the strength and courage to make it through these days..They miss you so much and love you more...
Rest in peace sweet Lee.....I'm praying as well for all of them and for a good recovery....
July 6, 2008
jillian chaves
hi grandma xoxoxoxo
Hi Mom,
Jillian wanted to send you a message on her own. She misses you and loves you everyday. We've been thinking about you more than ever. I dream about you all the time. The fourth of July was not the same without you. We just hung around the house and spend the day together, me and Jillian. The weather has been very weird lately. Lots and lots of rain and storms. Jillian doesn't like the thunder, but we tell her that it's you bowling and it makes her feel better. I love you and miss you forever and ever.
Love and Double Kisses,
Pam xoxoxoxoxoxo
Lorraine Miller
July 5, 2008
Leona's beauty, (both: inner and outer) shines through in both her daughter, Pam and her grand-daughter, Jillian:so-- Leona lives on.
I love the words of William Wordsworth: "Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass or glory in the flower; we will grieve not-rather find strength in what remains behind."
Strength is part of that inner beauty which Pam will always draw upon. God bless .
I LOVE YOU MOM!!PAM
May 30, 2008
Warm Summer Sun
Warm summer sun,
Shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind,
Blow softly here.
Green sod above,
Lie light, lie light.
Good night, dear heart,
Good night, good night.
By Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens)
The Poetry Foundation
May 30, 2008
Hi Mom,
It's been a few weeks since I was last in here.Tomorrow will be seven months since we lost you. It's seems like seven years. I can't believe we've gone on this long without you here. So much has been going on. Jillian's fourth birthday party is next Sunday and I know you'll be there in spirit. It's seems so weird not having you at each event that we have. I think about you all the time and miss you more and more everyday. I had a dream about Uncle Murph last night, so I decided to call him and when I did his phone had been disconnected. I called Judy and found out that he's not doing so well. He's been in and out of rehabs. and now they need to put him into an Assistant Living Home. He just needs around the clock care. I'm going to call him next week and I hope he will remember me, Judy says he doesn't remember alot. Jillian wants to write her name: jillian chaves. Next week I'll be starting a new class through Harvard Vanguard. I need to loose a few pounds. I've gained ten pounds since October and I really need to take the ten, plus another ten off. I feel like such a cow. I know if you were here you would tell me to stop dwelling on your weight. I sure wish you were here. I still look at your picture and I can't believe your not here, I know I keep saying it but I just shake my head in disbelief. I know you are watching over us and keeping us all out of harms way. I MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER. DOUBLE KISSES XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
KEEP US ALL SAFE
SWEET DREAMS MY FOREVER ANGEL.
LOTS OF LOVE,
PAM
S.W.A.K
May 15, 2008
Hi Mom,
HAPPY BELATED "MOTHER'S DAY"!! I wrote in your legacy mother's day night and for some strange reason as I ended the letter, my computer went blank and logged itself off. I'm assuming it was a sign from you telling me to stop crying and get off the computer. Mother's Day was very very difficult this year. Just knowing you were with us last year at this time. Stef and I hung out together that day, we spent the day doing what we thought you would enjoy doing. We went to McCue's flower shop and we got some flowers and planted them in her front yard. We got rid of an ugly bush that Steven seemed to like, but Stef hated, so there went that bush. We thought aboutjillianchaves (that was Jillian wanting to write her name) so, we thought about you all day and night. It's still very weird without you here. Tomorrow night is the big night in Philly. We hope you come through for us again. Hopefully you will have Lucy with you. We are going with Patti, Rosanne, and Kathy. Thinking back to last year, it was me, you and Stef hiking it to New Jersey to see John Edward. That was the best weekend ever. I will always remember the times we spent together. So watch over us tomorrow as we make our long journey, hopefully you hear from you. I'm getting ready to plan Jillian's fourth birthday party, and it's just not the same without you here. There will be a big void in the day, but like you would always tell me, we must go on. As hard as it is, I know we have to. Aunt Mary's first anniversay is coming up soon. I hope you are up there with her and your family and enjoying each other's company again. Stef says she feels your presence alot lately. I hope she is right. I still know it was you who logged the computer off on Mother's Day, I'm sure you didn't want me sitting here crying and gettig so upset. I know everyone thinks I'm crazy for writting to you, and I know your not on the other end waiting to reply back, but I know in my heart you can hear my every thought and it makes me feel good just getting it all off my chest. It feels as though I'm picking up the phone just like before and telling you all about my day. I love and miss you all the days of my life. Sweet Dreams Mom, and I hope to hear from you tomorrow night in Philly. If you can, Please find John Edward and let us know some more. Let us know your ok and with all your family enjoying your eternal life. No more headaches, no more stress, no more dealing with unnecessay things. Tonight I went and had a manicure and pedicure. I was talking with the owner (I think his name is Tony) I was telling him about what happened with you, and he was so sorry to hear it. As I was sitting having my pedicure, I noticed your box with your name on it. I asked him if he could put my name on it instead and know I'll have your nail file and buffer. He kept your name on it so it would make it extra special. Every time I go get my nails done, I'll have a part of you with me.
Have a peaceful night and I'll see you in my dreams. I LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
DOUBLE KISSES & HUGS,
LOVE,
PAM XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
May 6, 2008
Hi Mom,
Today has been a very emotional day, I just cried and cried. I miss you. I went to the store to buy Stef a Mother's Day card from Jillian and it was sad and depressing just knowing I can never buy you another Mother's Day card. I saw so many I could have gotten you, but can't. I wish you could still be here. Life is just not fair. I hope Sunday comes and goes so fast. I wish I could just sleep through the day. I just might. I still can't believe your gone, I want you hear in the worst way possible. You were to young to die, you still had so much life in you. WHY? I'll never know the answer to that. I just want to call you and talk. I want you to tell me everything is going to be okay. I want to know your okay. I want you to hold me and never let me go. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I can't stand this world without you. You were my security blanket,I knew you would always be there no matter what the reason. I love you and miss you alot. You would of lauged at me today, I'm in Dunkin Donuts getting an ice coffee and when the girl asked if I wanted anything else, I cried. I just can't help it. I think about you all day and night. Jillian just asked me why I'm crying and she went and got me a tissue. She knows when I cry it's because I miss Grandma and she tells me she misses you too. I so luck I have her. She keeps my world going.Have sweet dreams and keep us with you always.
Double Kisses xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love Forever,
Pam and Jillian xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
May 5, 2008
My Special Angel Mom,
Hi, I just read the letter to you from Rosanne. I told you she was an amazing person. Rosanne and Kathy have helped Stef and I through so much. They both know exactly what we are going through and how we feel on a daily basis. I know that you are up there with their mom Lucy and you both are sitting back having coffee (Dunkin Donuts I'm sure) and watching over all of us. I hope when we all go to John Edward on May 16th you both will come through together. Stef left for Florida today with Dad for a little Rest and Relaxation. Keep an eye on her while she is there and make sure she gets the well deserved rest she needs. It was so nice of Dad to take her with him. He has been doing so much for her lately, it's so nice knowing he can help her out. I think she really needs someone to spoil her for a change. You were always the one to do all the spoilling, and since you've been gone those days are now far and few, but we make sure we keep the trend going with our kids and let me tell you, THEY ARE SPOILED!!!!!!
Jillian graduates from her first year on preschool on June 13th and even through you can't be there physically, I know you will be there spirutally. I wish you could be there. She talks about you and kisses your picture all the time. The other day I took a picture of me and you to work with me and she was so upset I was taking the picture, I had to make sure I promised her I would bring it back. Mother's Day is this Sunday and I don't know how I will get through the day without you. I will keep close to Jillian that day and remember all the Mother's Days we've had over the years. I love you and miss you more than words can say. Sweet dreams!!!! I'll see you in my dreams!!!!! Double kiss and hugs.
ALL MY LOVE FOREVER!!!!!!
LOVE,
PAM (JILLIAN TOO....)
Rosanne Giuliano
May 3, 2008
Dear Sweet Lee.....what beautiful mom stories Pam and Stef tell us..You were a very special mom and lady...So close to your girls (like we were to our Lucy).......What a miracle you and my mom sent to the four of us.. Even in death YOU both thought of your children...how awesome is THAT!!!! Your girls are a part of kathy and my life!!! We are so blessed to know them..to have them as friends to share our sadness and grief...We miss our moms so much there is not enough space to write it all down...I know we must of crossed paths at NEMC as I worked for Tufts and knew your Dean through the dining halls...then being in Boston for so many years I KNOW I must have seen you!!! It was fate I guess that we should all meet up...I know you and my mom are up there chatting, watching over your girls and at peace. No more suffering..no more worrying...no more BS from the WORLD.......Rest in peace sweet Lee..give loves and hugs to my Lucy... We celebrate her birthday Monday, May 5th..Cinco de Mayo..as she would say!!! You will be in our prayers tomorrow at her Mass at St. Rays..you are in my prayers every nite when I close my eyse...I know you two are together! Can't wait to go to John Edwards with your girls!!
God Bless and thanks again for your girls!!! we love them ....
May 1, 2008
I'M STILL THINKING OF YOU EVERY MINUTE OF TODAY!!!!! I MISS YOU AND YOUR DOUBLE KISSES MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY!
Love,
Pamxoxoxox
April 30, 2008
Hi Mom,
WOW!! Six months today. It's been the longest six months ever. I still can't believe we've been without you for so long. Stef and I re-lived the whole day today, from the last time she spoke to you at about 11:15 A.M. until the dreaded phone call about an hour later. She called me on my route right after the phone were we waited for some news. It seemed like and entirity before we knew what was going on. Then finally the phone call we hoped we would never recieve. They told us you were not going to make it and we needed to get to Georgia A.S.A.P. Dad stayed with the kids, and we met Dean and B-jay as soon as we could so we could get to the airport and get on the quickest flight. Luckily for B-jay and his flying experience, he got us all on the next flight out. It seemed like forever before we finally got to you. From the time we got the first call, to the time we finally got to the hospital in Georgia it was about Seven hours later. We had no idea what we were in for. Never in my life did I ever think I would see you like that. I thought for sure when we got there you were going to be just fine. You were laying in the bed hooked up to Life Support, but in my head I kept thinking you were just gonna wake up and start talking to us. Boy was I wrong. We sat there talked to you, held your hand and just prayed for a miracle. The minutes seemed like hours and then the days seemed like yearts. Then finally we came the the reality, there was no miracle going to happen. I just wanted you to wake up and start joking and laughing with us like you always did. I know you were there with us and know everything that was said to you. I'm very happy knowing us four kids were there with you and got to spend our own time with by ourself, to talk and thank you for being the amazing MOM you always were and will be. Then the time we spent with you, just your four kids. It's something we will never forget. We are so lucky we all have the relationship with each other that we do. We thank you for that. You are an amazing women, in the time of your passing you saved the live of two people we don't even know. You always looked out for everyone else. What an amazing thing you did for those two people and their families. I am now an organ donor. I way of looking at life has completly changed. I so glad we have you with us. I told Stef she has to stop hogging you. I'm going to take you home with me soon. We will take turns having you in our houses. It makes me feel good to have you with us. I hope you have a peaceful and relaxing eternal life, and I can't wait until the day when we will meet again. I long to see your beautiful face. Here is a poem I got from Rosanne and her sister Kathy and It is truly how I feel:
GOD CALLED YOUR NAME
WE KNEW LITTLE THAT MORNING,
GOD WAS GOING TO CALL YOUR NAME.
IN LIFE WE LOVE YOU DEARLY,
IN DEATH WE DO THE SAME.
IT BROKE OUR HEART TO LOSE YOU,
YOU DID NOT GO ALONE,
FOR PART OF US WENT WITH YOU,
THE DAY GOD CALLED YOU HOME.
YOU LEFT US BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES,
YOUR LOVE IS STILL OUR GUIDE,
AND ALTHOUGH WE CANNOT SEE YOU
YOU ARE ALWAY BY OUR SIDE.
OUR FAMILY CHAIN I BROKEN,
AND NOTHING SEEMS THE SAME,
BUT A GOD CALLS US ONE BY ONE,
THE CHAIN WILL LINK AGAIN.
I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN. SWEET DREAMS MY FOREVER ANGEL. HUGS AND KISSES FOREVER AND EVER.XOXOOXOXOXOXOOXXOXO
LOVE,
PAM 9/19/38 - 10/31/07
April 29, 2008
Hi Mom,
I'm thinking about you as I do everyday wishing you were here so I could call you and let you know how I've been feeling lately. I miss our talks on the phone at night or during the day on my route. We're just about hitting the six month mark since you've been gone and it still seems like a dream. Mom, if there was just one wish I could have. it would be to bring you back. Life just seems to complicated without you here. I talk to everyday and light your special candles, but that doesn't replace the tremendous void in all of our lives. I just want to hold you and tell you how much I love you. I want you here to see Jillian grow. She's almost done with her first year of preschool. You would be so proud of her. She gotten so smart and she gets bigger and bigger everyday. This Mother's Day is not going to be the same and never will be. I see all the advertisments for it and I think to myself. I'll never be able to buy you another Mother's Day gift. I've seen so many things I would like to buy and do for you. I wish I just had one more special day to spoil you. I love and miss you forever and ever. Stay close to me and let me know your there. I LOVE YOU MOM!!!!!!!!!!HUGS and KISSES!!!
LOVE,
Pamxoxoxoxoxo
April 23, 2008
Hi Mom,
It's now the middle of April and Mother's Day is fast approaching. I keep dreading the day to come. I miss you every minute of every day. I know you would be enjoying this weather. You maybe a little sweaty at times, but it's been so beautiful out. Last night I went down to the park with Jillian to watch Dean-o play baseball. He is just the cutest boy ever. He is getting so grown up. His team this year is the Mets. He wasn't to happy last night, they lost, I told him it's only a game and it's the beginning of the year and before he knows it, his team will be great. Jillian and Julia played in the park for a while and hung out together while he played. It was fun. Dean-o got his report card for the third quarter, all A's and one B. Can you image the B was in Art. Big Dean was such a great artist and so were you. I can't believe he doesn't like Art. What a smart boy he is!!!!!!!! I hope he becomes a doctor or lawyer and remembers his old Auntie Peaume. You would be very proud of him. Stef took the kids to New York City for a couple days. They had a geat time, she took the girls to American Girl Place and Steven spent some time with the boys. They went to FAO Swartz and play with all the toys. She had a great time with the kids. All the kids are on school vacation this week. I spoke to your cousin Joan a few weeks back. She really misses you. I hope Stef and I can get out to Georgia maybe this fall to visit with her. I remember you saying you were going back in April. I'm sure you would have been there right now. I miss you more than I can every say or write. I look at your picture everyday and I can't help but think: What happened? Why are you no longer her with us? It was never suppose to happen this way. You were suppose to grow old with all of us. You never got that chance. All the kids miss you tons. You would be so amazed at how much all of them have grown, just within the last six months. I know you can see them and watch over them always. Please keep us safe and secure. You were all of our security blankets, and that void will never be filled again. Anyone can be a Mother, but it takes someone very special and warm to be a "MOM"!!!!!! You were our special MOM and it doesn't matter if you are here or not, we will always feel that way. I LOVE YOU MOMMY, SWEET DREAMS. ENJOY YOUR RELAXATION!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU TONS,
LOVE,
Pam & Jillian too.....XOXOXOXOXOXO
April 18, 2008
Hi Mom,
Today is finally like spring, it's was in the high 70's. I wish you were here with us to enjoy it. I miss seeing you and talking with you. I've been dreaming about you alot lately. Last night I had a dream of Big Larry and I was talking to him. I hope you found him there and you both are playing cards or batgammon. I remember all those Saturday night card games. I also had a dream that I was back as a child, and my biggest fear of loosing you was coming true. I couldn't stop myself from crying. You were therewith me, but I remember thinking you were sick and you might die, and I couldn't bear to be without you. It was horrrible. When I woke up and realized I was just dreaming I felt better for a minute until I realized you really are gone. I have that dream so much lately. I don't know why!!!!! So many times I wake up in the morning and think it's just a bad dream, but it's not. I know you are with us and watching over us. I get your signs all the time. I miss you and love you always. Everyone is doing ok. We are all going to get together in a few weeks at B-j's house. Josephine is coming by to see everyone. She has been so great with us. She keeps in touch to make sure we are all doing well. It's so great to see her again. She misses you so much and wishes she had seen you more before all this. I know you are with her and everyone we are close to. Everyone misses you more than you could ever know. I'm sitting here shaking my head, because I still can't believe it is reality. Keep close to all of us. I miss you!!!!!!Lots of Love and Kisses forever and ever. You are my sweet angel.
Love,
Pam xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
April 9, 2008
Hi Mom,
Tonight is one of the first practices for Dean-o's little league games. I'm here watching Julia. Jillian enjoys being here and playing with Julia. I will be watching Julia while big Dean takes Dean-o to his practices and games each week. Just thinking back to last year, you were here the last time he was doing baseball. I remember a few nights you were here with me. It seems really weird, with the nice weather here that your no longer with us. You would really be enjoying the last few days. I pulled up in front of Dean's house and all I could do was remember how you would plant your flowers in the front yard and side yard. Each time I drive back down Electric Ave. it still feel really weird to me that we don't have the upstairs anymore. I think if we still did, it would be even more difficult for me to go up there. This spring and summer are going to be very different. Next month we go to see John Edward, we are hoping you will be there again. I feel as though I know you will be. You should see how grown up little Dean-o has become. It's so amazing. Jillian and Julila are here playing tea party with the kitchen set. Jillian always plays with the teaset you gave her for Christmas, she loves it. Yesterday Christopher fell and cut his chin open, Stef though he might need stiches but it wasn't that bad. The kids are so happy they can play outside again and not be so couped up in the house. This month you were suppose to go back to Georgia. I talked to Pat not to long ago and she misses you so much. She said "she keeps expecting you to be sitting in her favorite chair in the room" her favorite chair that you would take over when you got there. Soon me and Stef are going to start going through you things downstairs. We will keep all the most important and most memorable things for us. I still can't believe your not here anymore. I do feel you with me all the time. I want you to watch over us all and keep us all safe. I LOVE YOU ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE, AND CAN'T WAIT FOR THE DAY I CAN SEE YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE AND KISSES FOREVER & EVER!
Pam
April 4, 2008
Hi Mom,
I have you on the mind more and more each day.It's funny, because before you passed away and someone would mention how they feel the presence of a loved one who has passed I use to think, How can that be? Now I know. I feel you with me and around me all the time. I seem to wake up at the same time each night just staring at the walls and all I do is think of you and all our family times of the past. I feel as though you are there with me, helping me to remember what use to be. All the good times on Electric Ave. and even as far back as Glenwood Rd. I was looking at some old pictures the other night, and I just can't help but cry. Looking back at all the old memories. The times we use to watch Little Dean-o, and all the pictures we would take of him. I have some of us the the old back high porch, remember sitting out there and just hanging out and talking. I sure miss those days. It's been five months now, and I still can't believe your not here. I miss seeing your beautiful face and the spunkiness you would have in your walk. How could you be fine one minute and gone the next? It just still amazes me. I think of the time we took Dean-o to Uncle Joey's house in NH. I have some nice pictures of you and him. The long ride me, Stef and you had taken to New Jersey to see John Edward, how fun was that. Then hitting the casinos and shopping the next day just the three of us. I will always treasure those memories forever. When Stef and I went to see John Edward this last time and you came through for us and you told me I would have another baby (girl). I sure hope that comes true. I need to give Jillian a little sister. The more I think of how much I love my sister and the relationship we have I want to make sure she has a sister to be here for her someday when I'm no longer here. Stef and I have been very close for a long time now, but I think since all this has happened she is most definetly my security blanket. I don't know what I would ever do without her. Other than Jillian she is the most important person in my life and always will be. The last morning we were with you, I thanked you for giving me my sister and my two brothers, and believe me I mean that from the bottom of my heart. They are everything to me and then some. Imagine, me saying that. Remember how I always cried, because I wanted to be an only child, and you would always say that's not possible your the third one. I'm glad I was the third out of the four of us. We make a great team. Thanks to an amazing Mom like you, all of have the relationship with each other. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
You would be so proud of all your grandchildren, they are growing so fast. Jessica just got her first job at Demoulas. Haley is going to be a teenager soon. Dean-o is getting smarter and smarter has the days go by. Cailyn is becoming so big and independent now. Caleigh can read (and if you were here I know you would have her read to you) Cameron lost two teeth and is cuter than ever. Christopher has become so outgoing and turning into a little guy.(no more babyways about him)he's a big guy now.Julia is so cute and getting so smart. She's doing pee pee in the potty, and working on the rest. Jillian, is just sprouting out and becoming so independent. She kisses your picture all the time and says good night to you before bed.She still doesn't look like me, but she sure has my attitude. (thanks)!!!!
Stef finally jumped into Market America and I'm on my way of doing the same, we know you are watching over us and will guide us in the right direction. I know this will work for us both and hopefully within the next few years we will be working together on our own bussiness. That's my goal to be able to be home with Stef and do this just the two of us together. I know you are all for it. We get the signs from you all the time. I LOVE AND MISS YOU ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE. I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS AND STAY WITH US ALWAYS, YOU ARE OUR FOREVER ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE AND KISSES XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
PAM
March 24, 2008
Hi Mom,
Just a little note to say, I LOVE YOU!
Stay close to Stef and guide her in the right direction. She needs it right now. She knows you are with her, and helping her through this difficult time in her life. Lots of Love & Kisses!
Love,
Pam
March 23, 2008
HAPPY EASTER MOM!!!!!!
Today has been a very weird day. Having you not here this Easter is just not the same, and never will be. All of us kids went our own way today and we will all get together just us and the kids next Saturday for Chinese food. It just wouldn't have been the same having Easter dinner with everyone around including in in-laws. We just decided it would be best not to do anything special. I spent the day with John,Bev,Danny's mom and Jillian. We went to a brunch at the Holiday Inn in Tewksbury. All I can do all day is think of you and all the past Easter Sunday's we have had together. Today was definely a VOID. I miss you so much. As you know, we have alot going on here right now, but with you leading the way I know we all will be all right. I hope you are with all of us today and you will maybe give us a sign to let us know you are there. Jillian finally had her picture taken with the Easter Bunny today at the brunch. She was a liitle taken back by him, but she did it. I love and miss you, and thinking about you every minute or every day. LOVE and KISSES MOMMY. Talk to you again soon.
SWEET DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!
PAM & JILLIAN
March 20, 2008
Hi Mom,
Sorry it's been awhile since I last wrote in your legacy. Even though I haven't written I still think about you morning, noon, and night. It's slowly approching five months without you and it seems like forever. Easter will be here soon, but it will never be the same without you. This year all us kids decided to go our own ways on Easter Sunday, dinner just wouldn't be the same without you. We're all going to get together next Saturday night at Dean's house for some Chinese food, and I know you will be there. I went to Target after work today and everything I seemed to look at reminded me of you. I found so many "GRANDMA" cards that had your name all over them, and the MOM cards the same. It hurts me so bad knowing I never need to purchase another one again. Other than Christmas the most memorable holiday to me is EASTER. Every Easter morning, the Easter table set for breakfast with a gift on everyones plate wrapped so pretty. The Easter bread with the eggs in it with the white frosting. I'll never forget any of those things. I can't believe your not going to be here to see all the kids dressed up in there Easter outfits and running around crazy from the sugar high of all the candy they've been eating since early that morning. I can't image not making you an Easter basket or having flowers and chocolate for you. How you LOVED your chocolate!!!! That's one thing I got from you and Jillian got from me. As I was walking through the Easter aisle in Target I saw your absolute favorite,"COCONUT MARSHMALLOWS"
Mom, I miss you so much. I want you back in the worst way. Today is the first day of Spring. I don't know how we can go on without you. Your "ANGEL BOY" called me the past couple of nights. You would be so proud of him. He is turning in to quite the young man. He talks about you all the time, and misses your SO MUCH!!!! I told him I would find a picture of you and him when he was just a little guy and we would frame it and put it in his bedroom. He told me he never wants to forget you. I told him he never will. I told him you are always and will always be with him. Your his special Guardian Angel. You are all your grandchildrens specaial "GRANDMA GUARDIAN ANGEL". I know you watch over all of us every minute of everyday. Stef needs you with her more than ever. I know you see all. So please sit on her shoulder and guide her in the right direction. She needs it!!!!!!!! Mom, you are and always will be my HERO, the one I have always and will always look up to. I want to be the Mother to Jillian, that you were to all of us. You are an incredible woman. I can't even image how you did what you did for all those years. If anyone deserves to be called a Saint, it definetly should be you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You are my inspiration. Jillian is growing up so quick, and she is exactly what you hoped she would be, just like I was to you years ago. Thanks, your wish finally came through. I got one just like me. Ya, THANKS. (HA HA).
Let me tell you what a handful she has become, I tell her, "she's lucky, she's so cute". I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE. HAVE SWEET DREAMS MY FOREVER ANGEL. I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS. HUGS AND KISSES!!!!!XOXO
S.W.A.K.
Love,
Pam (Jillian too....)
March 10, 2008
Hi Mom,
I'm thinking of you and missing you so much. Yesterday Josephine came over to Stef's house and we had a nice visit with her. She misses you so much. She was telling us about the good old days. The days on Glenwood Rd. and all about the days she would babysit us. I remember alot of different things she would talk about. I so happy she is back in our lives. She is an amazing person, and she talks very highly of you. She, just like us feel as though you were an just a Saint. She kept telling us you were always for your children. Which we already knew, but it is so nice hearing it. She misses the conversations that the two of you would have. She said, "you were like a big sister to her". We had a great visit with her, and we are diffenitly going to stay in touch with her. It's great because she knows a side of you we don't. I love hearing about your younger days and the days when we were kids. You really touched so many people in so many ways. You really are and always will be an amazing wormen and "MOM". I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU TON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love and Kisses Forever,
Pam
March 8, 2008
I LOVE YOU!!
S.W.A.K.
LOVE,
PAM XOXOXO
March 6, 2008
Hi Mom,
Tonight I was suppose to to with Tricia to "WW" but decided not to because of the way I'm feeling. As I was sitting here on the computer thinking of you, I looked up on my refrigerator (yes, the one that doesn't match the rest of the kitchen) your good, and a long time ago you gave me a little poem with a tiny bear pin on it. I want to say it was about 12 years ago when I first moved into this house. Every day I read it and I am so glad I had always saved it. It makes me feel as though your right here with me. I read it for you.
"A BEAR HUG FOR MY DAUGHTER"
Here's a little Bear Hug
His arms are open wide
And though he's small,his heart if filled with lots of love inside.
If you're ever lonely
and your heartstrings need a tug
Just find this bear, and then, right there, He'll give a tiny hug.
So pin this Bear Hug on you
Ad wherever you may be,
Remember that he always bears
A BEAR HUG, JUST FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for this special poem and pin. It means so much to me. I always keep it and pass it down to Jillian one day, and I'll let her know that Grandma gave it to us. I love you so much. Today in the mail we got our tickets for John Edward, in Philly. I can't wait to go. I hope you will find him again and come through to us. It was so special the night we got the reading from him. It was so surreal. I love you tons and I will talk to you again tomorrow. I need to go light your special candles. Sweet dreams Mom, and here's a great big bear hug for you!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tons and Tons of Love and Kisses,
Love,
Pam (Jillian too....)xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
March 5, 2008
THE GREATEST MOM EVER,
Anyone can be a mother, but it takes someone very special to be a "MOM", and you are very special to all of us. Thinking of you, and loving you all the rest of my life.
Love and Kisses,
Pam xoxoxoxoxo
March 5, 2008
HER JOURNEY PRAYER
Don’t think of her as gone away,
her journey’s just begun,
life holds so many facets
this earth is only one.
Just think of her as resting
from the sorrow and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort,
where there are no days and years.
Think how she must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.
And think of her as living
in the hearts of those she touched,
for nothing loved is ever lost,
and she was loved so much.
THINKING OF YOU TODAY LEE AND SO THANKFUL FOR PAM AND STEPH IN OUR LIVES... REST IN PEACE AND KNOW THAT WE WILL ALWAYS SHARE THE HAPPY AND SAD TIMES WITH YOUR LOVING DAUGHTERS...YOU DID A GREAT JOB IN RAISING THEM AND I KNOW YOU ARE A PROUD MOM!
LOVE ROSANNE & KATHE
March 4, 2008
Hi Mom,
Today started out to be an ok day, but as the day went on and I kept thinking about you the harder the day seemed. I keep thinking about the other night and knowing you were communicating with John Edward and I just can't help but think, how come we can't talk to you. If you were still here with us physically, I would have been on the phone with you tonight telling you about the day I'm having. I miss calling you at night and asking how your day went, and get the scoop from the days events with the Merrill clan. Who had karate, who had dancing, where you and Stef went shopping today and how you stopped and had lunch at Friendlys. Boy do I miss talking to you. I still talk you every day and night,but I want to hear your voice. If we only had one more phone conversation, one more day with you. I would hold you and hold you and tell you how much you mean to all of us. I don't think I would ever let you go. If for one minute I knew what the last four months were going to be like, I don't think I could have left the hospital room that morning.It was hard for all us leaving but just not seeing and hearing your physical presence again is just to much to handle. All me and Stef think about is the last days in the hospital. The night she laid across your legs and slept, while me, Dean and B-j slept on the floor or chairs just staring at you and hoping you would just wake up. Why couldn't you just wake up? Just for a few minutes. We just kept picturing you sitting up and saying, What's wrong with all of you? What are you all crying for. I'm ok. You'll be just fine without me, you all have families of your own you need to take care of. You'll be just fine. But truthfullly deep down inside we're not. Our speical Mother, the one that always made sure we felt safe and protected was taken from us to soon. Way to fast. You still had so much spunk left in you. I still don't understand why you? I was at Stef's house the other night and I spent a few minutes in your apartment. I went into your bedroom and just looked around at all your things. If any Grandma in the world loved her gradchildren it was definitly you. What a shrine you had in your bedroom. Every inch of your wall are pictures of all us kids and grandkids. No matter what draw of your breau I opened I found someones toy. Either the boys sunglasses, or the kids balls. You had something of thiers in there. Then I look up and sitting on the ledge is one of Jillian's binki's. You always had a back up one just in case. You were so amazing. Then I opened up another draw and I see your famous MICKEY MOUSE pajamas. No one in the wolrd had more character clothes or Grandma sweatshirts the you. You were always a kid at heart. I miss you and love you so much. Words can never say how I really feel. Don't forget to look for the light. I'll be lighting your candles soon, and hoping you are with me tonight. I need you. I love you!!!!!!!!!
Sweet Dreams Mommy,
I love you always
Pam XOXOXOXOX
March 1, 2008
Mom,
Today was another snowy,cold day. Spring is just around the corner and I can't help but think this time last year we still had you with us. This spring and summer is going to be very weird without you. The days going to the zoo wil never be the same. Taking the kids to Simonds Park Pool will never be the same. It's very hard going on thinking that you would have and should still be with all of us. Easter Sunday is coming soon and I can't help but think of all the Easters on Electric Ave. The breakfast table you would set with Easter bread (with the eggs inside). The gifts all wrapped pretty on each plate. The Easter baskets hidden from the Easter bunny!!!!! It just seems as though each day is going to be a reminder of what used to be. I wish it was still, what should be!!!!All I keep doing is thinking about the other night when you came through to John Edward. How cool was that!!!!!!! You are an amazing person, I now you needed it just as much as we did. I hope you are finding the peace as we are since that night. I just want you here with us. I feel like there's a piece of the puzzle missing. The puzzle will never ever be complete again. It was a very special and very close nit puzzle we had. It without the most important piece, the puzzle just seemed to fall apart. We put the pieces back together the best we could, but it will never be complete. Today Stef went online and booked our tickets for John Edward in Philly. We are coming back to get you. We need to hear more from you. We want to know your with your family and your doing ok. Rosanne and Kathy need you to find Lucy and bring her with you so they can have an incredible reading like you did for us. Jillian is growing so much these days and she still talks about you and tells me how much she misses "GRANDMA"!!!!! We all do!!!!I love you to forever and back again!! and MISS YOU TONS!!!!!! HAVE A PEACEFUL NIGHT SPECIAL ANGEL!!
Love,(so much)
Pam xoxoxoxoxox
February 29, 2008
Hi Mom,
All day long, all I can do it think and think about last night. I am so so amazed me and Stef got a reading. How awesome is that? Thanks to you it finally came through for us. Deep in our hearts we knew you would be there. You always said, if something was to happen go to John Edward and we did, so you did. I can't Thank You enough for that. It made it so much more clear. I just wish I knew who you were with. If you can try to give us some sort of a sign that your around and with us always. We know you are, but seeing or hearing something would be great. It makes me feel good knowing you were happy with everything that went on in the hospital. We knew inside you were still with us, and last night just validated everything for us. I just can't believe it really happened. I just want to scream. The only thing I wish is it lasted a little longer. But I'm not being selfish, I was perfectly happy with what we got.
We love you and miss you!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep watching over us!!!!!!!!
Love and Kisses
Sweet Guardian Angel
LOVE,
Pam (JILLIAN TOO!!!!!!!)
February 29, 2008
Good Morning Mom,
THANK YOU!!!!!THANK YOU!!!!!THANK YOU!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE IT TO JOHN EDWARD. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I AM TO HEAR FROM YOU. IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER KNOWING YOUR OK AND YOU ARE DEFINETLY WATCHING OVER US. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MENTIONED THE HEART PENDENTS. I WILL TREASURE THIS NECKLACE FORVER AND EVER. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! I WISH YOUR WERE SITTING THERE WITH US. CAN YOU IMAGINE WE GOT A READING FROM "JOHN EDWARD" YA-WHOOO!THANKS TO YOU. I LOVE YOU!!!!MISS YOU!!!!! STAY WITH US AND DON'T EVER LEAVE!!!!!!!BE OUR FOREVER GUARDIAN ANGEL!!!!!!TALK TO YOU SOON. LOTS OF LOVE AND KISSES!!!!!!
LOVE,
PAM XOXOXOXOXO
St4efanie
February 27, 2008
Hi Mom,
God do I miss you so much! so much has happened since you were taken from us. I know you see it all. If ever there was a time I needed you, it is now. I know you know everything! I just wish you were here so you could sit with me and cry it all out. talk it all out. Your wisdom and your reasoning were always so right on.
I can't wait for tomorrow. As you know, Pam and I are going to see John Edward. Please find us there, Mom. Bring Lucy with you. Roseanne needs to hear from her. We know you brought us together. I know you brought Cheryl to me too.
thanks for bringing these wonderful people into my life. Roseanne is a true angel who is hurting and needs reassurance. Bring Lucy! Bring Lucy, please for Ro and Kathe. Come for me and Pam but come for you too. Connect with us your daughters again in a way only we will understand.
I think of it all and I cannot believe we've made it this long without you. How??? Why?? I miss my shopping buddy, my coffee buddy, my scratchie buddy, my best friend. i love you so much and so completely. I sit in your apartment and wish you you were here. I wear your perfume.
I want to know your a part of us all. I think how lucky I am to have had such a wonderful, beautiful soul for a mom. What a true treasure you are.
I will make you a promise, you come to john edward and connect with me and pam and I will quit smoking immediately. We just need to connect with you please!
i love you mommie pie!
good night beautiful.
stef
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
February 27, 2008
Hi Mom,
I'm sitting here eating pasta with tomatoe soup and I'm thinking about all the nights you made this for us for dinner, and how much we still love it to this day. Just about twenty-four hours from now me and Stef will be on our way to see John Edward and we are hoping you will be there. Pleas Please be there. I need to know that your ok. Once I hear something maybe I will feel a little bit better.If not tomorrow night then we'll keep going until we hear from you. I think back to the time me, you and Stef drove down to New Jersey to see him.What a great weekend we had. I enjoyed that alot. I think about how we went to the lounge later and the three of had a drink. It was so nice, just the three of us. It's memories like that we'll hold onto and treasure forever. It's great to know we have so many wonderful memories with you. You were such an amazing mom and friend.Anyone can be a mother, but it takes someone very special to be a "MOM" and believe me you were the greatest Mom ever. I just hope someday Jillian looks up to me the way I do to you. It's funny, I'll catch myself saying things to her that you would say to us and I think to myself, I turned into my mom. I sure am glad I did. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE BEST MOM AND GRANDMA EVER AND EVER!!!!XOXOXOXOO
LOVE AND KISSES
SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS
LOVE,
PAM X0X0X0X0X0X0X0X0X0X00X0X0X0X0X0
February 26, 2008
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
Pam (:
February 25, 2008
I'm having a very bad night tonight. I miss you so much my heart hurts. I know I being selfish right now but I need you back. I want to see you and hold you and tell you how much I miss you and want you back in our lives. I want to pick up the phone and see what your doing, tell you the day I had and how I'm not feeling that great these days. How do we go on without you?? I don't know!!!!!!! I want you back. Why did it have to be you? You had so much to live for. All of us need you. The past four months have been torture without you here. The holidays were not the same and never will be. WHY YOU?????
Doesn't God know we were'nt done. We still need to be a family together. You have nine beautiful grandchildren you need to see grow up. I CAN'T HELP BUT CRY FOR YOU, I JUST WANT YOU BACK!!!!! Life is'nt fair. You had so much to live for.
I LOVE YOU!
Pam xoxooxoxox
February 25, 2008
Hi Mom,
Today is Monday the 25th of February and I can't believe it's been almost four months since we lost you. The time hasn't gone by quick at all, it seems to just drag by. Day by Day. Me and Stef are looking forward to seeing John Edward on Thursday night, hopefully hearing from you.(no pressure) YOU BEST BE THERE!!!!!! (just kidding). I hope you are up there with Aunt Mary and your parents and all your relatives and ROCKY AND MINDY!!!!! Boy they must of been excited to see you. I sure everyone up there is catching up on thier card games. the DeStefano crew. Do you know I didn't figure out that Stefanie's name came from DeStefano. It just dawned on me the day of your Funeral Mass. How dumb am I???????? I just wanted to sit and talk to you for a while. I talk to you all day, but I feel like I'm really talking to you when I come in here and write to you.I hope you are enjoying your eternal life and relaxing and just enjoying yourself. I miss you and always will, forever and ever. I'll talk to you again soon. I love you my forever angel. Watch over us. Jillian loves you and misses you alot. All the kids were talking to you and kissing your picture at Stef's house the night of Caleigh's birthday. Your little guy Christopher says he misses Grandma and loves her. We all do!!!!!!!!!!!
Love and Kisses Forever and ever!!!
I LOVE YOU!!!!
Pam (Jillian too....)
February 23, 2008
Mom,
Hi,I've been thinking about you more so lately than ever. I've been down in the dumps and I can't seem to pull myself out. I wish you were here to tell me everything is going to be ok. We got alot of snow yesterday and I couldn't help but think of all the snow storms on Electric Ave. Remembering you out in the driveway shoveling for hours. You were always the first one out there. You had to get the driveway and sidewalk clear, and how you would panick about a snow emergency. Making sure all the cars were on the right side of the street so no one would get a ticket. Then putting the barrells out so no one would take our spots. And God forbid someone did, you were right out on the high porch yelling at them. I miss the good old days, and I miss you more and more everyday. I hope next Thursday night you go to John Edward and visit me and Stef. We REALLY NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!!!!!!! We need to know that you are ok and you are watching over all of us. We all need it more than ever. I'm sure you know that. Tonight we are taking the kids to see High School Musical on Ice. The kids are so excited. I'm sure you'll be right there with us. Thanks for the penny you sent to Jillian at Stef's house the night of Caleigh's birthday, we knew you were there with us. We really need it that night. It's always so weird without you there.Dean-o (angle boy) was talking to me about you alot the other night. He misses you so much. He knows he was the most important guy in your life and it makes him smile when anyone tells him that. He really does love and miss you alot. I hope you continue to watch over and protect all of us. Keep visiting me and every night watch for your candles, I light them every night for you. I LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE AND KISSES XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
LOVE,
PAM
February 3, 2008
MOM,
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PAM (:
February 2, 2008
Hi Mom,
I'm sitting here thinking about you,and wondering if were listening to me today while I was on my route.It makes me feel special knowing we have you to be our"SPECIAL GUARDIAN ANGEL" I've written to you the last few days and I don't understand why they weren't put in. Stef and I are going to Foxwoods on Friday. We can't wait. Just the two of us. I'm taking her for her birthday. It will be wierd without you, but we know you'll be with us in spirit. Lets hope we win!!!!!!! I'll play a slot machine for you. I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking and missing you. As I was doing my route today, I was trying to figure out, if you were here what would you have been doing today. It was such a beautiful day. Not quite spring but getting close. I was picturing you doing some yard work in front of the house. Cleaning up old leaves or just puddering around. It will never be the same without you. I still can't believe it's been three months. It just doesn't seem real. Wednesday is Ash Wednesday, and for the first time ever I'm going to try to give up something for you. I sit back and think of how much you sacrificed for us kids now it my turn to give up something I really enjoy for you. I know this time I can do it.
I LOVE AND MISS YOU!!!!!!!!KISSES AND HUGS!!!!!!!XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
LOVE,
PAM
LOVE, PAM XOXO
January 26, 2008
In My Pocket
I have memories in my pocket.
They rattle among the change.
My memories of you are treasures I carry wherever I go.
They are stored in bits and pieces, parts of a beautiful whole
They give me comfort when I think I am alone.
Yes, I have memories in my pocket, like so much other stuff I keep there.
But of all the treasures I have, it’s the memories of you that are the most precious.
January 24, 2008
HiMom,
Good Morning, just a little note to start the day. I love you and I'm thinking of you!!!!!!!!!!!
Pam
Stef
January 23, 2008
just one more day without you...still not easier. I am waiting for you. Put your hands on my shoulders. Hug me. Tell me again..."I love you sweetheart." I miss your voice. At least I have our memories. Without you in my life, there is still life. Without you in my memory, there is nothing. I thank God for my memories! Thanks for killing the spiders!
I love you mom,
Goodnight sweet Angel!
January 23, 2008
Hi Mom,
I just read the entry that Stef had written to you last night, so now I'm here crying like a babbiling baby.She really wrote it like it is. We miss you more than ever, the hurt just gets deeper and deeper. Last night I woke up and all I could do was think of you. I kept thinking, What was the last thing you looked at? Who did you talk to on the plane last? Did You tell anyone your were sick?Where you looking for us to help you and we weren't there? Where you scared and we couldn't save you? Those are the questions I think of all the time. I know you were so far away and we believe me we couldn't get there quick enough.Just like Stef said, "dont be sad that we cry" we just miss you and wish you were here. You did sacrifice alot for us four kids and I also thank you for that. I'm just so happy that the last couple of years you did for yourself. Going to Georgia to visit Pat and Joan. Taking road trips with Joan and Bob and enjoying every moment of it. Finally getting to Las Vegas and Aruba. For someone that didn't like to fly, you did your fair share once you were free. (if you know what I mean) and it makes me smile to know you did that traveling and enjoyed yourself. It's just so crazy thinking back at how all this came about. The past few months are just a complete blur. Holidays will never be the same, driving down Electric Ave. has a hole new meaning. I see old people and I get so angry, because you didn't get to grow old.You still needed to be here with us and enjoy me, Stef, Dean and B-jay. All the kids: Dean-0, Julia, Jessica,Haley, Cailyn,Caleigh,Cameron,Christopher and Jillian still needed Grandma to watch them grow. Stef said there must be a reason. I need to know what that reason is. I wasn't ready to lose you. I MISS YOU EVERYDAY!!!!I hope your watching over all of us and keeping us from harms way, please watch for the light everynight. I light the candles for your eternal life, hoping it shines as bright as you did for us.
Thank you for everything you've done for us and keep us safe!!!!!!!!I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!
LOVE,
PAM
Stef
January 21, 2008
Hi Mom,
It's funny, I was just looking down at the keyboard to start writing to you and something caught my eye: Your Hands! I have your hands. I have your ring on my finger next to my wedding ring. Next to marriage, the bond you and I have is the strongest! Holy Cow I have YOUR HANDS! I love that.
Anyway, I miss you. I have a picture of you I keep over my visor in my car and everyday I flip the visor down and there you are, smiling your beautiful smile back at me. I wish you were still here with me. I miss having a co-pilot. Days are certainly different without you. It seems so strange even still. I don't think that will ever change. I still miss seeing you sitting in the chair in my living room talking over coffee, or folding laundry. I miss hearing you cough at night (i know, i can't believe it either). I miss literally everything about you! I went down to your apartment today just to smell Jean Nate, and I noticed your bathrobes hanging behind the door in your bedroom. I washed them and as I was taking them from the dryer, I realized that you won't be wearing them again. What a horrible moment I have every single day when I remember I won't ever see you again. I miss you more than I could ever express. Only God knows the depth of my loss. He took you from me for a reason, of that I am sure (it better be a good one!). I truly believe we are put on Earth for a reason. I do not know for sure what your reason was, but I can only hope it was fulfilled. I know that without you, I would not be here, so for sure you had a purpose: to create loving, caring people to carry on the way you would. I try everyday to step back and say "what would Mom do?" and when I do that, I know you would carry on. You did carry on when your mom passed, but your mom was not YOU! When you were alive, you could not have known the depth of my love and gratitude for you. I now know you are sure of it all.
Like Pam said, that Mickey Mouse shirt and your cute little baseball hats are what truly remind me of you everyday. The feeling that washes over me when I think of you is two-sided. The first side is full of love and admiration for the remarkable life you lead. What an amazingly strong soul you have. To go through so much and still come out in the end with a smile is something that I hope you are admired so very much for. I thank you for "putting up" with what you did and hanging in there for the sake of your children. It was not in vain. It will never be forgotten.
THe second side or thinking of you is the side of great sadness. I just miss you so much. It literally hurts. I feel your loss so completely and sometimes it is totaly overwhelming. Your friendship and advice and just you being you! I cannot wait to meet up with you again. I only hope that you watch over us. Don't be saddened that we cry for you and don't be dissappointed at our weakness. We are only human, and the loss of love so great is torture. Be happy that we were able to be with you in those last hours. know that the joking around and all around goofiness was a defense. I thank God everyday that i was the last one to talk to you. I was the last voice of family and love that you heard in life. I feel so selfish for saying this, but I am glad I go to be the one. I can still hear you telling me to come get you. You said "I feel fine, but I am ready to come home." We were ready too. I baked you a cake and the kids and I were planning a little welcome home party for you. Cailyn wrote in her journal how happy she was you were coming home and Caleigh told her teacher she had to leave school early to pick up her Grandma. We were all looking forward to that day so much and now it is a day that I will never in my life forget. I remember every moment from 12:15 on..... Halloween is forever changed, November 1 is not just another day to me. 6:41 is not just a time of day. Stroke is not just a word. Heaven is not only in my mind. You are NOT gone. I beg you...please MOm, find John Edward on the 28th of Feb. Pam and I are waiting for you. I want to hear from you so badly. Did Mary meet you there. Is Snooky there and Uncle Warren? What about Your Mom and Dad? Did they help you cross over. Were you sad? I hope not. Embrace eternity Mom. Take the peace, the calm, the quiet. No more headaches, no more stress, no more anything from anyone. You are surrounded with the people with whom you truly enjoyed your life. Before us kids (we know you love us)you had this wonderful life with family and friends. Embrace that now. Be there again. Play cards with Mary, talk to Warren and enjoy Snooky in a way you never could. He isn't sick on the other side. Take it all in forever.
Mom, as always, I wish you a very beautiful, star-filled, angelic night in Heaven. I miss you so fiercely and I hope tomorrow I can wake to a new day with a little more understanding. I love you more than I could ever express verbally, so read my mind, listen to my heart and please cradle my soul in your loving hands. Walk with me through my life and guide me as you can.
I love you
Stef
January 20, 2008
HI Mom,
Today is Sunday the 20th of January and I just got back from your favorite place to shop. Walmart!!!! I just wanted to look around and see what they had. I got a few things, then I went to Market Baket and did my food shopping for the week.Now I was just sitting here thinking of you and wondering what you might be doing?Last night we took a ride over to Stef's house to have a cake for her birthday.It was crazy as usual,but fun!!!I went downstairs in your apartment, I always open the door hoping I would see you sitting in your chair. It feels so empty there now. Looking at all your nicknacks you had down there and just remembering you there and wishing you still were.Your mickey mouse shirt is still hanging were you left it and your cute baseball caps just above them. Those are all the things that remind us of the fun you.I think of you in your fun pajamas and grandma sweatshirts, whic we are going to keep. That was all you!!!!I don't thnk any other Grandma had as many as you. I'm still waiting for the time to get easier, that's what everyone keeps telling us. I don't think it will ever get easy.You were the backbone of the family, the one and only one that could save the world when we needed done. Now what? How do we go on? We'll just have to think of what you told us, and that was: "You'll be just fine, you have families of your own now and when I'm not here you'll be fine. I lost my mother and the day will come when I won't be here"!!!! I'm still trying to figure out how you functioned without your mom. We need you and want you back so badly. Maybe that's selfish, but if I had one wish that's what it would be. I'll always have this void in my life.I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!
LOVE AND KISSES FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!
Pam
PAM
January 19, 2008
Hi Mom,
Today, I woke up with you on my mind as I do every morning. I'm hoping you are with all of us. Tonight I'm going over to Stef's house to have a cake for her birthday,I hope you will be with us.
It still seems so different with out you here. I know in spirit you are with us, but your physical presence is missed so so much.I miss seeing you and hearing your voice.I call your cell phone and listen to your message every once in a while.It's all we have left of you as we know you.I keep hoping that when me and Stef go to see John Edward you will be there. I really need to know that your ok and your with Aunt Mary, Nana Mama and your Dad, and all your family you had been missing for years.We love you and miss you more than you'll ever know. Jillian plays with the tea set you had gotten her for Christmas. See loves it. She tells everyone that Grandma bought it for her. She talks about you all the time, and kisses your picture. She knows your in heaven with God, but wishes you could visit her house and have tea with her.I told her that you have tea in heaven with God and all your family there. She thought that was funny. You should have gotten Julia one also, everytime we see or talk to Julia all she wants to do is play teaset with Jillian. It's cute. Well I have to go have by tea again, for the millonth time. (Thanks for the teaset) ha!!ha!!! I love and miss you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOTS OF LOVE AND KISSES XOXOXOXOXOXO
LOVE,
PAM
Patti
January 18, 2008
Lee,
Now that we have entered into a new year and I try to put 2007 (toughest one yet) behind me I want you to know that you are truly missed and always will be loved.
I remember you
Even when the world forgets
I remember your smile
Even when I can't find anything to smile about
I remember your laughter
Even when nothing is funny
I remember how you felt
Even if I can't hug you
I remember you
Even when it hurts the most
One day I will see you again
Love & miss you always
Pam
January 15, 2008
Hi Mom,
Just a little note to say "I'M THINKING OF YOU"!!!! Today is Stefanie's birthday as you know, and she's missing you more than ever today. I sent her a beautiful vase of flowers hoping to make her day a little bit more special, as you would have done if you were here. This weekend we'll do a cake for her. I hope you are with her today and give her a sign to let her know you are there. I love you lots!!!!!!!!!!!!
PAM XOXOOXOXOXOXOXOOX
Pam
January 13, 2008
Mom,
I'm sitting here tonight thinking of you as I do every morning,noon and night.I still can't make sense of what has happened.You were here one minute then taken away from us without any kind of warning.Each day that goes by I keep wondering what if! What if we only knew what we were going to be put through? I honestly don't know how we all function without you. Especailly Stef and myself. Mostly Stef. She is more lost without you than words can say.I think the only reason we both can go on is because of our children and because of the special bond that the two of us share, and I want to thank you for that.You have always taught us right from wrong and also how to be strong and be there for each other when we need each other the most. I don't know what I would do without my best friend my sister Stef.I think about you every minute of everyday. I light a special candle each night hoping you see the light and keep us with you as we do you. Jillian misses you and keeps asking me when Grandma can come back to visit our house, but I try to explain to her that you live in heaven with God now and you visit us in your own special way. (like just know when all the lights went dim) (Thanks for that Mom)!!!!!! I know you are with us and always will be. I love and miss you SOOOOOO Muchhhhhh!!!!!
I know there will be a day again when we will be together. I hope you are happy and enjoying your eternal life. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
LOVE AND KISSES Pam (:
January 13, 2008
Mom.
I found a picture of you today and the sight of your beautiful face brought me to tears, but it also brought me a smile. I miss you so much. I miss your eyes. I don't know why, but I close my eyes and I see yours staring back at me. I love you so much. Kisses to you in Heaven.
January 6, 2008
I know you were there for Cailyn's party. Thanks for being with us and never "leaving" us. I love you so much.
stef
January 3, 2008
Mom,
I think of you every second of every day. I cannot even express how lost it feels to be without you. I love you so much and cannot wait to see your beautiful face again.
Rosanne Giuliano
January 2, 2008
What a beautiful tribute to a very special Mom that is missed so much these days...How proud your Mom must be of all of you to welcome a stranger into your lives that is suffering the pain of loosing a Mom around the time you did...Our Mom's are not lost, but rather both have found peace with the Lord and are watching from above..I cannot thank you enough, Pam and Steph for helping make this holiday as difficult as it was for all of you...more bearable by keeping in touch..God Bless Lee and Lucy! A friendship was formed through both of them..My prayers for all of you and your family! Amen!
God Bless....
anonymous
November 10, 2007
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."
It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.
Patti Brosnahan
November 9, 2007
HER JOURNEY PRAYER
Don’t think of her as gone away,
her journey’s just begun,
life holds so many facets
this earth is only one.
Just think of her as resting
from the sorrow and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort,
where there are no days and years.
Think how she must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.
And think of her as living
in the hearts of those she touched,
for nothing loved is ever lost,
and she was loved so much.
Mariann Nicoletti
November 8, 2007
Bernie and Family,
Richard and I were so sorry to hear of Lee's passing. Please know that she is in our thoughts and prayers along with you and your family during this difficult time. We are sorry that we will not be able to attend her Mass on Saturday as we will be out of town. Please know that we will be thinking of you. May she rest in peace. With our Deepest Sympathy,
Mariann & Richard Nicoletti
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