I missed having you call me today singing Happy Birthday for the 2nd year in a row. Last year I was numb, but this year I feel the loss even more. You weren't just a sister, but a best friend who I could share everything. This is the last note I can send to you, but every so often I can feel your presence and know you are looking down on all of us. We reached the 1 year anniversay of your leaving us yesterday, but the pain never seems to go away. I have the satisfaction of knowing you knew how much I loved you and you will always be in my heart forevermore.
Hi Mom - All week I planned that waking up today - the anniversary of your passing - would be paralyzing. However, when I woke today, I didn't feel that sense of grief and loss that I was expecting. And then it hit me....I feel that EVERY day, so today is no different. There is a void in my life now that you are gone. While I am the same person, I am different and forever changed now that I don't have you in my life to give me strength. I miss you terribly and think of you daily. I love you very much. Please watch over me and guide me.
Mom, I miss you terribly today. I sit and think about where I was on 12/14/10 and I can't believe that almost one year has passed. I think about you every day. I don't know that I'll ever be able to get over that you are gone. I miss talking to you and hearing your words of wisdom. I miss telling you things that are going on in my life....the good, the bad, the ugly. I miss sharing wonderful experiences that I think you'd be proud of me. I know you are watching over me and Casey and Payton and at times I wonder what you are thinking.
I'm still angry.....I'm angry that you left me too early in your life and that I didn't have the time to spend with you as I had hoped.
Just know that I haven't moved on and I haven't forgotten about you.
Love you always,
I can't even say Happy Thanksgiving. This has been the most difficult week I've spent since the week you left us. Every day since Tuesday has been a knife in my heart, knowing we would have arrived at your house that day, start playing cards right away along with a "welcome drink". Today on Thanksgiving is most unbearable for me, just knowing all of our happy times are gone. I remember walking with you last year and you said you wouldn't know what you would do if something happened to me. I in turn said the same about you never dreaming it would be you instead of me leaving. I visited the cemetery last week just to feel close to you. I just miss all the laughing and sharing our most intimate thoughts with each other. Hopefully, next year will be a little easier but never forgetting the memories we had together.
Mom....I love you and miss you more than you can imagine. I am going though a lot right now and I miss being able to talk through things with you....hearing your words of wisdom, I sit and perspective. Granted my decisions were always mine to make, but you were always there to guide me. Knowing you had my back made me feel more secure. Now...without you...I feel lost. I love you mom and I miss you so much.