Matthew Ryan Farwell

Matt it hurts so bad I freakin hope there is something out there after life here.... I just want to see you again I miss u sooooooooooiiooooiiio much I think about you all day everyday why you why why why you didn't deserve that suffering and I am sooooooooo sorry last time I saw you alive , not in a coma ,I was at my lil boys bday party in Ventura I kept trying to get you to walk with me down to the water but for some reason we never did how I wish we could have I think about that too I think how I was trying to get grandma to fly you out to me for me to take care of you and I talked to you alll the time in the Phone you wanted to go with us to the creek with the dogs and 4 wheeling with byron how I wish we could have done that too you never knew how much I worried or how much I cared or loved you and that's what I break down almost everyday about not saving you I should have gone and got you I should have never let you out of my sight I should have Matt and I am sorry I didn't I wish ther was a way to know your ok to sorta believe what people say about a better place I'm not sure all I know is I don't have you here and my Heart is forever broken forever and it will never be the same nobody else lives what we lived we have soooo many memories of just us yet it's no where near enough I wish I could hug you again hold your hand I wish my promise to you didn't break when I said you where gonna get better in the hospital I wish those things but they are just empty just floating around not mattering because all that matters is you I struggled all our life (and still do )loving anyone ever but I always loved and love you from the day I remember you I have memories of you as a baby and I'll never forget anything Matt I'll never forget .... I got to go I cant see what I'm typing anymore I'm soooo sad

I'm going to set up a Facebook page for you Matt so I can talk to you through that all
The time and anyone else who wants to talk to you or try to look for you later can see your page

Hi Matt I miss you I hope you are around me I hope you are truely in a better place

Dear Matt I think of you every day, today I was going through paperwork and came across a coupon that you made for me: life time guarantee of hugs and kisses. I wish that we had had more time I didn't get to use that coupon nearly enough. I miss and love you guy.