IT'S BEEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS THAT I HAVEN'T WROTE BECAUSE I WANTED TO HAVE MORE THINGS TO TELL YOU. SINCE THE LAST TIME I WROTE TO YOU WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT THE VACATION. BUT NOW ITS BEEN LIKE 4 MONTHS AND A LOT HAS HAPPENED ??? FIRST YOUR SISTER IS NOW IN 7TH GRADE AND SHE IS DOING VERY GOOD IN SCHOOL.. ALSO YOUR SISTERS BDAY PASSED ALREADY AND IT WAS A VERY NICE BDAY PARTY BECAUSE WE HAD HER NINA DO TACOS AND WE HAD CAKE AND PINATA.. IN AUGUST IT WAS YOUR GRANDPAS 80TH BDAY AND IT WAS NICE BECAUSE YOUR AUNTIE LUPE HAD A LITTLE BBQ.. WE HAD CAKE AND ICE CREAM AND VERY DELICIOUS FOOD.. ITS NOW SEPTEMBER AND ITS GETTING CLOSE TO YOUR UNCLES BDAY AND YOUR DADDY'S BDAY.. ALSO YOUR UNCLE TONY IS HAVING ANOTHER BABY THAT'S SOO NICE BECAUSE YOUR COUSIN CAN NOW HAVE A LIL BROTHER TO PLAY.... YOU KNOW THAT MOMMY MISSES YOU TERRIBLY AND EVEN THOUGH THE TIME HAS PASSED IT STILL FEELS LIKE IT WAS JUST YESTERDAY THAT YOU PASSED AWAY... MOMMY LOVES YOU VERY MUCH AND EVERY DAY MONTH AND YEAR THAT PASSES I STILL FEEL THE HURT IN MY HEART AND SOUL... I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU BECAUSE THE BOND THAT WE HAD AND STILL HAVE DOESN'T COMPARE TO ANY OTHER LOVE IN THE WORLD.. MOMMY IS GOING TO VISIT YOU ON SATURDAY O SUNDAY AND TAKE YOU SOME FRESH FLOWERS TO BRIGHTEN UP YOUR GRAVE AND SEE YOUR LIL FACE FULL OF HAPPINESS AND JOY... LOTS OF KISSES AND HUGS FROM YOUR MOMMY DADDY AND BIG SISTER WHO LOVES YOU SOO MUCH... I LOVE MY PRECIOUS SON CARLLITOS!!!!
Carlitos, I would like to thank you for giving me the peace my heart needs... when I've gone to visit you, I needed your help as you are an Angel in heaven and a hero in my heart. Thank you so much for helping my son moses with challenges everyday, he always leaves me amazed and I know in my heart , you take him by his hand and help guide him in life .... Thank you little Angel ....
MY PRECIOUS ANGEL CARLITOS WELL I'LL START BY TELLING YOU THAT IT WAS A VERY NICE VACATION THAT WE TOOK TO ORLANDO!!!!
IT WAS SOO NICE OVER THERE BECAUSE THE WEATHER WASN'T THAT BAD BECAUSE IT WAS HOT BUT IT WASN'T THAT HUMID!!! ALTHOUGH WE WENT ON VACATION YOU WENT WITH US TOO... EVERYWHERE I GO I ALWAYS TAKE YOUR PICTURE AND YOUR BLANKET THAT YOUR AUNTIE BOUGHT YOU FROM SAN DIEGO!!!! WHEN WE RETURNED FROM OUR TRIP I BOUGHT YOU SOME GIFTS TO TAKE TO YOUR GRAVE TO SHOW YOU THE GIFTS.... WE CAME BACK ON MOTHERS DAY BUT IT WASN'T A VERY HAPPY MOTHERS DAY FOR ME BECAUSE I NEEDED YOU HERE WITH ME!!!! I KNOW I SHOULD BE HAPPY BUT I CAN'T I TRY TO HAVE A STRONG FACE BUT I BREAK DOWN SOMETIMES BECAUSE YOU NOT BEING HERE ISN'T SOMETHING EASY TO GET OVER IT:(((( IT'S NOW THE END OF MAY AND SOON IT'LL BE JUNE AND THEN FATHERS DAY!!!! ANOTHER HAPPY DAY THAT YOU'LL MISS BUT I KNOW THAT FROM HEAVEN YOU'LL SEND YOUR DAD ME AND YOUR SISTER MANY HUGS AND KISSES... I JUST PRAY THAT SOMEDAY HOPEFULLY THE PAIN OF YOUR PASSING GETS BETTER WITH TIME BUT THE WAY I FEEL I KNOW THAT IT'LL TAKE A VERY LONG TIME... YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I MISS YOU TERRIBLY AS THE DAYS GO BY!!!! YOU KNOW THAT OUR BOND IS SOO BIG THAT THERE'S NO OTHER LOVE SOO BIG THAT WOULD TAKE ITS PLACE.... I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH MY PRECIOUS ANGEL CARLITOS... YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY SWEET CHEEKS!!!! I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH.... THIS WEEKEND I WILL BE TAKING YOU FRESH FLOWERS TO YOUR GRAVE TO MAKE IT LOOK VERY BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
MOMMY GIVES YOU A VERY BIG HUG AND LOTS OF LOVE AND KISSES !!!!!
TODAY IS YOUR BDAY AND YOU TURNED 7YRS OLD!!!
ALL THE FAMILY WENT TO VISIT YOU ON THIS VERY SPECIAL DAY ..... :))))
EARLY MORNING WE TOOK YOU SOME FLOWERS AND SOME BALLOONS TO DECORATE YOUR GRAVE... AFTER A WHILE THE REST OF THE FAMILY WENT TO SING TO YOU AND EAT SOME CUPCAKES.... AS I THINK AND YOU KNOW THAT THEY TOOK YOU EXTRA BALLOONS THAT HAD MANY MESSAGES ON THEM WISHING YOU A VERY HAPPY BDAY FROM ALL YOUR COUSINS AND AUNTS AND UNCLES!!!!
WE ALL SANG AND ATE SOME CUPCAKES AND AFTER THAT YOUR AUNTIE EVELYN GOT ALL THE BALLOONS AND UNTIDE THEM AND LET THEM GO UP IN THE SKY AND SAID THAT WE KNOW THAT YOU WOULD SOON RECEIVE THOOSE BALLOONS IN HEAVEN.....!!!!
EVERYONE HAD A GOOD TIME AT THE CEMETERY TALKING AND REMEMBERING ALL THE GOOD TIMES THAT WE HAD WHEN WE HAD YOU HERE WITH US....:))))
YOU KNOW THAT I MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND WISH THAT YOU WOULD STILL BE HERE WITH US TO ENJOY EASTER SUNDAY... I KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T BUT IT DOESN'T HURT TO WISH AND KEEP YOUR WISHFUL THINKING!:)))
MOMMY MISSES YOU TERRIBLY EVERYDAY AND NIGHT AND THE LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU MY PRECIOUS SON CARLITOS IS AN ETERNAL BOND OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS..... WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MY PRECIOUS SWEET CHEEKS AND SWEET PEA!!!!:)))
IT'S BEEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS THAT I HAVEN'T WROTE BECAUSE I'VE BEEN A LITTLE BUSY....
WELL JANUARY FEBRUARY AND NOW MARCH HAVE PASSED...
JANUARY WENT BY AND I WAS JUST COUNTING THE DAYS FOR YOUR 2 YR ANNIVERSARY... AS FEBRUARY CAME IT STARTED GETTING HARDER AND HARDER BECAUSE I STARTED REMEMBERING ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAT WE HAD TO GO THRU EACH PASSING DAY..... MY BDAY CAME AND I THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO CELEBRATE IT BUT I COULDN'T BECAUSE IT HURT TOO MUCH IN MY HEART AND SOUL!!!
THE DAYS AFTER MY BDAY IT GOT HARDER AND HARDER BECAUSE I STARTED REMEMBERING OUR DAYS IN THE HOSPITAL...I WISH THAT MANY TIMES AND DAYS THAT PASSED I WISHED THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GONE THRU THE PAIN AND SUFFERING...
YOUR ANNIVERSARY CAME AND IT WAS SOO SAD BECAUSE YOU NOT BEING HERE WITH ME JUST MADE ME FEEL SO EMPTY AND FULL OF SADNESS.....
WE TOOK YOU SOME FRESH FLOWERS AND SO DID YOUR AUNTIE LUPE... THAT DAY WAS VERY COLD WINDY AND SPECIALLY VERY RAINY!!!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'S BEEN 2 YRS OF YOUR PASSING AND SOON 2 YRS THAT WE BURIED YOU....
I KNOW THAT YOU PASSED AWAY ON YOUR UNCLES BDAY AND WE BURIED YOU ON YOUR COUSINS BDAY TOO!!!
THIS MONTH JUST BRINGS ME MEMORIES THAT MAKE ME FEEL THAT'S BEEN ONLY YESTERDAY THAT YOU PASSED AWAY....
IT'S BEEN SUCH A HARD TIME FOR ME BECAUSE THE MONTH GOES BY SLOWLY AND MAKES ME THINK OF ALL THE HARD TIMES THAT WE HAD TO GO THRU TO KEEP YOU HEALTHY AND KEEP YOU MORE TIME AT HOME THAN IN THE HOSPITAL.... YOU KNOW THAT I TRIED VERY HARD TO KEEP YOU HEALTHY BUT MANY TIMES AS MUCH AS TRIED I COULDN'T KEEP YOU HEALTHY AND AT HOME....
I KNOW THAT OUR TIME TOGETHER WAS PRICELESS AND ONCE IN A LIFETIME CHANCE TO TAKE CARE OF A VERY SPECIAL LITTLE ANGEL LIKE YOU....MY PRECIOUS SON CARLITOS!!!!!
MOMMY FEELS VERY HONORED TO HAVE HAD THE CHANCE TO GIVE BIRTH TO A VERY SPECIAL ANGEL AND WAS ABLE TO GIVE YOU THE BEST THINGS THAT I COULD GIVE YOU......
THEY WERE MY LOVE, CARING, AND JOY THAT WITH ALL THAT MADE MY AND YOUR LIFE AN ETERNAL BOND THAT COULDN'T BE MORE STRONGER THAN EVER.....
YOU KNOW THAT YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY AND BIG SISTER MISS YOU TERRIBLY..... WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MY PRECIOUS SON CARLITOS!!!!!
WELL IT'S TIME AGAIN FOR ANOTHER AND ANOTHER HOLIDAY!!!
I SHOULD START BY TELLING YOU THAT THANKSGIVING PASSED AND EVERYTHING WAS VERY GOOD. EVERYONE HAD LOTS OF FUN. AFTER I WENT SHOPPING WITH YOUR AUNTIE EVELYN AND AS ALWAYS I GOT YOU LITTLE GIFTS TO TAKE TO YOUR GRAVE!!!!
CHRISTMAS EVE WAS YESTERDAY AND WE SPENT IT AT YOUR UNCLE TONY'S HOUSE!!! EVERYTHING WAS GOOD AND WE ALL HAD FUN!!!! IT WAS A FUNNY DAY BECAUSE WE HAD TO WEAR A TACKY SWEATER THEME FOR THE DINNER!!!!! IT WAS FUN BECAUSE ALL YOUR UNCLES AND AUNTS WORE FUNNY TACKY SWEATERS..!!!!
EVERYTHING WAS GOING GOOD BUT AS SOON AS IT GOT CLOSE TO BEING CHRISTMAS I STARTED GETTING SAD BECAUSE I SAW ALL THE KIDS SOO HAPPY AND FULL OF JOY AND I COULDN'T FEEL HAPPY BECAUSE THERE WAS SOMEONE MISSING AND THAT WAS MY PRECIOUS SON CARLITOS!!!!
EVEN THOUGH I TRY TO HAVE A STRONG FACE AND SHOW THAT I'M STRONG IN MY HEART IT FEELS LIKE ITS TEARING APART!!!!
I SHOULD ALSO TELL YOU THAT WE TOOK YOU MANY LITTLE GIFTS TO YOUR GRAVE... YOUR GRANDMA AND GRANDPA WENT TO VISIT YOU TOO!!!! IN PICTURES I SAW THAT YOUR UNCLE PHILIP AND MARISSA AND COUSIN CHRIS ALSO WENT TO VISIT YOU AND THAT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY THAT THEY GO BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THEY GO AND WISH YOU A MERRY XMAS..
YOUR UNCLE ALSO TOOK YOU A COUPLE OF GIFTS TO YOUR GRAVE....!!! I THANK YOUR UNCLE FOR HIS VISIT TO YOUR GRAVE!!!!
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW HARD IT IS WHEN THESE HAPPY HOLIDAYS AREN'T SOO HAPPY BECAUSE THE ONE PERSON THAT CAN GIVE YOUR LIFE THE FULL HAPPINESS ISN'T HERE WITH ME ANYMORE!!!!
I CAN'T TELL YOU OF HOW MANYTIMES I WISHED THAT YOU WOULD OR COULD BE HERE WITH US BUT I KNOW THAT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE ANYMORE.... BUT SOMETIMES I WISHED THAT IT COULD BECAUSE I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO BRING YOU BACK AND HAVE A CHANCE TO BE WITH YOU AND TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TERRIBLY NOW AND FOREVER MY PRECIOUS SON CARLITOS!!!!!
WELL I HAVEN'T WROTE ON YOUR PAGE IN A LITTLE WHILE BECAUSE I GET BUSY AND I JUST SAY WHEN I HAVE MORE THINGS TO WRITE I'LL HAVE MORE THINGS TO TELL YOU.....
WELL I SHOULD START BY LETTING YOU KNOW THAT HALLOWEEN JUST PASSED AND WE HAD FUN GOING AND ASKING FOR CANDY!!
THANKSGIVING CAME AROUND AND I HAD THANKSGIVING DINER AT HOME WITH ALL YOUR AUNTS AND UNCLES AND COUSINS AND THE REST OF THE FAMILY!!!!!
IT WAS A VERY HAPPY TIME BECAUSE I REMEMBERED THE TIME THAT YOU WHERE HERE WITH US.... THE TIME THAT THE WHOLE FAMILY WAS HERE WAS A TIME OF JOY BECAUSE WE ALWAYS HAVE FUN HERE AT THE HOUSE WITH ALL THE FAMILY!!!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ITS DECEMBER NOW AND CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST HERE AND THAT THE HOLIDAYS COME AND GO AND THE THING THAT I WISHED WAS HERE WITH US IS YOU AND ONLY YOU!!!!
I'M JUST SAD THAT YOUR NOT HERE TO ENJOY THESE HOLIDAYS WITH US AND THE FAMILY..... I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT WHEN I WENT SHOPPING FOR CHRISTMAS LIKE ALWAYS I BOUGHT YOU MANY LITTLE TOYS THAT I WILL TAKE TO YOUR GRAVE ON CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!!
I KNOW THAT MANY FAMILY MEMBERS ARE VERY BUSY THAT'S WHY THEY DON'T VISIT YOU AS MUCH AS THEY WOULD LIKE TO BUT I KNOW IF THEY WEREN'T SOO BUSY THEY WOULD VISIT MORE OFTEN BUT IT'S OK.....!!!!!
I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT I MISS YOU TERRIBLY LIKE THERE'S NO WORDS THAT CAN DISCRIBE THE FEELING I HAVE INSIDE MY HEART AND SOUL....!!!!!
YOUR DADDY SISTER ALSO MISS YOU TOO!!!
I'M THE ONE THAT I WISHED WITH ALL MY HEART THAT YOU WOULD STILL BE HERE WITH US...... THE BOND THAT WE HAD AND STILL HAVE IS SOO BIG THAT IT'S HARD TO GET USED TOO NOT HAVING YOU HERE BY MYSIDE .....!!!!
I MISS YOU TERRIBLY AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL.......
LOVE YOU MY SWEET PEA AND SWEET CHEEKS WITH ALL MY HEART......!!!!!
LOVE YOU NOW AND FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!!!
IT'S BEEN A WHILE THAT I HAVEN'T WROTE BUT I'VE BEEN A LITTLE BUSY.. WELL I SHOULD START TELLING YOU THAT THE BIGGEST THING THAT I MISS IS YOU!!!!! THERE ISN'T A TIME THAT I DON'T THINK OF YOU IN MY HEART.
WE HAVE VISITED YOUR GRAVE AND TAKEN MANY THINGS FOR HALLOWEEN. YOUR AUNTIE LUPE ALSO TOOK YOU MANY THINGS FOR HALLOWEEN TOO. I SHOULD LET YOU KNOW THAT IT WAS YOUR DADS BDAY AND OUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. WE WENT ON A SMALL TRIP TO ROSARITO TO CELEBRATE HIS BDAY AND OUR ANNIVERSARY. EVEN THOUGH WE GO ON SMALL OUTINGS AND SMALL TRIPS THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING MISSING AND THAT IS YOU MY PRECIOUS SON CARLITOS!!!!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ITS ALMOST HALLOWEEN AND THANKSGIVING TOO. THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING SOO FAST AND YOUR MEMORY IS SOO STRONG IN MY HEART AND SOUL JUST LIKE IT WAS WHEN YOU WERE HERE WITH US....
AS ALWAYS I WILL BE DOING THANKSGIVING AT OUR HOUSE AND CHRISTMAS TOO BECAUSE WHEN YOU WHERE HERE WITH US THE HOLIDAYS WERE CELEBRATED HERE AT HOME AND I JUST WANT TO KEEP THE TRADITION GOING AS WHEN YOU WERE HERE WITH US!!!!
I KNOW THAT THESE HOLIDAYS ARE GOING TO BE HARD BECAUSE MORE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING AND ARE CELEBRATED AND THAT THING THAT I WANT BACK I CAN'T HAVE BECAUSE ITS YOU.... I JUST THINK THAT MAYBE ONE DAY I WOULD GET THE CHANCE OF HAVING YOU HERE AGAIN TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.... BUT I KNOW THAT'S WISHFUL THINKING.... THAT'S ALL I CAN DO AND WISH.....
YOU KNOW ALREADY THAT I MISS YOU SOO MUCH LIKE YOU WOULDN'T IMAGINE!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TERRIBLY!!!! WORDS CAN'T EXPLAIN THE FEELING I HAVE INSIDE. I WISH MANY TIMES THAT I COULD HAVE YOU HERE WITH ME AND GET THE CHANCE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AGAIN....
I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE... YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY SWEET CHEEKS AND SWEET PEA...
MOMMY LOVES YOU ALWAYS , ALWAYS AND FOREVER....!!!!!!
I HAVEN'T WROTE TO YOU IN A LITTLE WHILE BECAUSE MOMMY HAS BEEN A LITTLE BUSY.
WELL I SHOULD START TELLING YOU THAT YOUR SISTER JUST TURNED 11 YRS OLD. HER BDAY PARTY WAS REALLY NICE. EVERYTHING WAS FUN BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING MISSING AND THAT WAS YOU MY PRECIOUS CHEEKS. ALSO IT WAS YOUR GRANDPAS BDAY TOO. HE TURNED 79 YRS OLD. I SHOULD ALSO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOUR SISTER AND COUSIN JUST STARTED MIDDLE SCHOOL. I'M SOO PROUD OF THEM BOTH. SHE'S TAKING THE BUS TO HER NEW SCHOOL, SHE WASN'T HAPPY ABOUT IT BUT AFTER SHE GOT HOME FROM SCHOOL SHE WAS HAPPY AND EXCITED. OH YEAH WE ALSO TOOK YOUR SISTER ON A TRIP BEFORE SHE STARTED SCHOOL BUT NOT ONLY HER YOU ALSO WENT WITH US I KNOW THAT YOUR NO LONGER HERE BUT YOUR MEMORIES AND YOUR PICTURE ARE ALWAYS ON MY MIND, HEART, AND IN MY PURSE BECAUSE I ALWAYS CARRY YOUR PICTURE OF YOU IN MY PURSE. I ALWAYS WILL LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TERRIBLY . LOVE YOU KNOW AND FOREVER MY PRECIOUS CHEEKS AND SWEET PEA!!!!!
WELL WHAT CAN I START TELLING YOU, THAT UR SISTER GRADUATED FROM ELEMENTARY. SHE WAS SOO HAPPY BECAUSE NOW SHE KNOWS THAT HER MIDDLE SCHOOL WILL START SOON AND ALSO WILL HAVE THE CHANCE TO MAKE MORE FRIENDS THAT SHE CAN TALK AND PLAY. YOUR COUSIN ALSO GRADUATED ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TOO. ME AND YOUR DAD ARE SOO PROUD OF YOUR SISTER BECAUSE SHE HAS DONE A GREAT JOB TO FINISH SCHOOL. YOU MISSED THAT VERY JOYFUL AND FULL OF HAPPINESS TIME FOR YOUR SISTER. BUT I KNOW THAT FROM HEAVEN YOU WERE SENDING HER LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES. THE MOST SPECIAL DAY YOU MISSED AGAIN IS FATHERS DAY. I JUST WISHED THAT YOU WERE HERE TO ENJOY ALL THESE HOLIDAYS WITH US. THERE IS ANOTHER SAD NEWS THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW AND THAT IS THAT YOUR COUSIN RAMON JUST PASSED AWAY THIS LAST FRIDAY. IT'S SOO SAD BECAUSE HE WAS SOO LOVED AND WILL BE MISSED. YOU ALSO ARE AND WILL ALWAYS BE MISSED BY THE FAMILY. I KNOW THAT FROM HEAVEN YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR COUSIN THAT WILL SOON JOIN YOU AND YOU CAN BOTH PLAY AND ENJOY A NORMAL LIFE WITHOUT ANY PAIN AND SUFFERING. I TOOK YOU VERY BEAUTIFUL FRESH FLOWERS TO YOUR GRAVE TO MAKE IT LOOK VERY NICE. YOU KNOW THAT MOMMY AND DADDY AND SISTER MISS YOU TERRIBLY. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU NOW AND FOREVER MOMMY..
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ANOTHER HOLIDAY JUST CAME AND IS GONE AND YOU WERE NOT HERE TO ENJOY IT WITH US. I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR SISTER IS ALMOST GOING TO GRADUATE AND I FEEL SAD BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT HERE!!!! I KNOW THAT YOU ARE VERY HAPPY FOR YOUR SISTER AND HER GRADUATING FROM ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. I JUST WISH THAT YOU WOULD STILL BE HERE WITH US TO ENJOY THIS REAL IMPORTANT DAY. I ALSO WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOUR GRANDPA HAD SURGERY AND HE IS OK AND EVERYTHING CAME OUT AS PLANNED. YOUR COUSIN IS ALSO GRADUATING FROM HIGH SCHOOL I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I HAVE A GOD SON THAT'S A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE. WE WENT TO GO VISIT YOU ON MEMORIAL DAY AND THAT MADE MY WHOLE WEEKEND FEEL FULL OF JOY AND HAPPINESS..... I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH MY PRECIOUS CARLITOS... NOW AND FOREVER!!!! LOVE MOMMY!!!!
THIS IS MOMMY!!!!!!
HELLO THERE MY CUTIE PIE WITH SWEET CHEEKS!!!!!
WELL WHAT CAN I START TELLING YOU ITS BEEN A LITTLE WHILE THAT I HAVEN'T WROTE BECAUSE YOUR WEB PAGE WAS NOT ONLINE. THANKS TO YOUR AUNTIE LUPE IT'S NOW ONLINE AGAIN. I CAN NOW CONTINUE WRITING TO YOU MY FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS THAT I HAVE AND DON'T TELL NO ONE BUT YOU AND ONLY YOU!!!
NOW ITS BEEN 1 YR AND A MONTH OF YOUR PASSING. TO ME IT STILL HURTS INSIDE MY HEART THAT I NO LONGER HAVE MY OTHER COMPANION WITH ME THAT MADE ME FEEL THAT MY HEART IS WHOLE BUT NOW THAT YOUR GONE MY HEART ISN'T FULL ITS MISSING YOUR LOVE. I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT ON YOUR B-DAY I BAKED YOU A CAKE WHICH I WAS VERY PROUD OF. I TOOK THE CAKE UP TO THE CEMETERY SO WE CAN SING TO YOU AND ENJOY THE CAKE. YOUR UNCLE PONCH AND AUNTS CRISTINA AND EVELYN AND ALL THE LITTLE KIDS WENT TO GO VISIT YOU ON THIS SPECIAL DAY THAT IS YOUR BIG B-DAY WHEN YOU TURNED 6 YRS OLD. YOU ALSO SHOULD KNOW THAT ITS BEEN A COUPLE OF B-DAYS THAT HAVE GONE BY AND YOU'VE MISSED. THE MOST SPECIAL B-DAY IS YOUR ABUELITAS SHE TURNED 81 THIS APRIL 29, 2013. SHE WAS SO HAPPY TO CELEBRATE HER B-DAY WITH ALL YOUR UNCLES AND AUNTS. THERE'S ANOTHER SPECIAL B-DAY COMING TOO AND THAT IS YOUR SISTER JOCELYN'S B-DAY SHE WILL BE TURNING 11 YRS OLD. ITS GOING TO BE A LITTLE SAD BECAUSE ITS THE FIRST YEAR THAT YOU MISS YOUR SISTERS B-DAY. I KNOW THAT FROM HEAVEN YOUR SENDING HER LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES AND MANY WISHES FROM YOU WHICH IS FOR HER TO BE HAPPY ON THIS SPECIAL DAY. I HAVE STILL MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THAT ARE IN MY HEART THAT I KNOW THAT WITH TIME AND A LOT PATIENCE I WILL WRITE THEM ALL DOWN IN THIS WEBSITE THAT IS YOUR OWN WEBSITE.
MOMMY LOVES YOU AND MISSES YOU TERRIBLY ALWAYS. YOUR MY PRECIOUS SON WITH SWEET CHEEKS. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER!!!!! LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES FROM MOMMY DADDY AND SISTER!!!
I WANTED TO THANK MY SISTER LUPE FOR KEEPING MY PRECIOUS CARLITOS PAGE ONLINE. I KNOW THAT CARLITOS IS HAPPY BECAUSE HIS AUNTIE LUPE NOW AND MOMMY TOO CAN NOW WRITE LOTS OF MESSAGES TO OUR SPECIAL ANGEL IN HEAVEN.... THANKS SIS I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU SPONSERING THE BABIES WEB PAGE ONLINE!!!!
HELLO THERE MY PRECIOUS SON!!!!
TODAY ITS 11 MONTHS OF YOUR PASSING AND SOON 11 MONTHS OF YOUR BURIAL. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW SAD IT IS TO KNOW THAT THE MONTHS ARE ALMOST GONE AND YOUR PASSING AWAY IS TURNING SOON INTO YEAR AND YEARS OF YOUR PASSING AWAY. I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT ITS LIKE TO KEEP COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS AND NIGHTS UNTIL ANOTHER MONTH COMES AND GOES. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT REALLY SOON ITS GOING TO BE A YEAR OF YOU PASSING AWAY. I CAN TELL YOU THAT EVEN THOUGH THE MONTHS HAVE CAME AND GONE I STILL FEEL THE SAME WAY AS THE DAY YOU PASSED AWAY. THESE 3 MONTHS THAT ARE COMING ARE SO HARD AND FEEL THAT THEY ARE A REMINDER OF THE PAIN AND SUFFERING WE HAD TO GO THROUGH TOGETHER. THIS MONTH LIKE AROUND FEBRUARY 11 IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR SUFFERING AND PAIN! LAST YEAR AROUND VALENTINES DAY IS WHEN I RECEIVED YOUR CAR SEAT AND STROLLER. FOR ME THAT WAS MY VALENTINES DAY PRESENT THAT I FOUGHT TO GET FOR YOU. EVEN THOUGH MY B-DAY CAME I DIDN'T FEEL HAPPY BECAUSE I WISHED THAT WE WOULD BE HOME AND CELEBRATE IT THERE BUT THAT WASN'T THE CASE. THIS MONTH IS JUST A REMINDER THAT ALL HAPPY DAYS WERE TURNED INTO DAYS OF SADNESS AND HURT. THAT'S WHY THIS YEAR I FEEL THE NEED TO NOT CELEBRATE VALENTINES DAY AND MY B-DAY ANYMORE. THE TRAGEDY OF LAST YEAR IS SOMETHING THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET. YOUR PASSING IS A TIME OF HURT. THE DAY YOU WERE BORN IS A TIME OF HAPPINESS AND JOY. THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME HAPPY BECAUSE WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU WERE THE LIGHT IN OUR EYES. THE DAY OF YOUR PASSING WAS THE DAY THAT THE LIGHT IN OUR EYES WAS TAKEN AWAY FOREVER. I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT WE TOOK YOU SOME FRESH FLOWERS TO MAKE YOUR GRAVE LOOK NICE. WE ARE GOING TO VISIT YOUR GRAVE THIS WEEKEND AND HOPEFULLY YOUR FLOWERS ARE STILL THERE. I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU SOME MORE FRESH FLOWERS. I JUST CAN'T GET USED TO YOU NOT BEING BY MY SIDE. I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH AND WISHED MANY TIMES THAT TIME WOULD GO BACK AND I COULD HAVE YOU HERE BY MY SIDE. BUT FOR NOW ALL I CAN HAVE IS YOUR MEMORIES AND PICTURES. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER. THERE IS NOTHING IN THE WORLD THAT WILL HELP HEAL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I SOMETIMES WISH THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE TO FEEL ALL THE PAIN I HAVE IN MY HEART AND SOUL BUT THAT'S SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T JUST ERASE AND THINK THAT THIS IS JUST A DREAM BECAUSE IT'S NOT! THIS IS CALLED LIFE!!!! I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH. MY PRECIOUS SWEET CHEEKS AND PRECIOUS SON I MISS YOU TERRIBLY AS EVERY PASSING DAY AND NIGHT GOES BY. LOVE YOU FOREVER.....
GOOD MORNING MY PRECIOUS SON!!
I HAVE NOT WROTE TO YOU IN A WHILE BECAUSE THIS MONTH IS SOO HARD FOR US. ITS THE FIRST YEAR THAT YOU ARE NOT HERE. ITS A HARD MONTH FOR YOUR MOMMY. YOUR DADDY IS THE ONE THAT HAS FELT THE EMPTINESS AND THE SADNESS OF YOUR PRESENCE NOT BEING HERE WITH US. I'M ALSO VERY VERY SAD BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET THE CHANCE TO TELL YOU THIS YEAR MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR. I KNOW THAT WE SAID IT TO YOU WHEN WE VISITED YOUR GRAVE. I WISH THAT INSTEAD OF YOUR GRAVE I WOULD OF LIKED TO TELL YOU THIS THINGS IN PERSON BUT I KNOW THAT THIS IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE. WE WILL SOON PURCHASE YOUR PLAQUE FOR YOUR GRAVE TO MAKE IT LOOK MORE BEAUTIFUL. I THINK MANY TIMES WHEN THE MONTHS GO BY WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE TO HAVE YOU HERE WITH US AND I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING AND THAT JUST GETS ME MAD. ITS NOW 10 MONTHS OF YOUR PASSING AND SOON 10 MONTHS OF YOUR BURIAL. I DON'T LIKE THAT THE MONTHS OF YOUR PASSING IS NOW TURNING INTO YEAR AND SOON YEARS. EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE NOT HERE WITH US FOR CHRISTMAS I STILL BOUGHT YOU A COUPLE OF PRESENTS THAT WE OPENED ON YOUR GRAVE. ALTHOUGH YOU ARE NO LONGER HERE WITH US I WILL ALWAYS BUY YOU THINGS FOR YOUR B-DAY AND ALL THE OTHER HOLIDAYS TO COME. TO MANY PEOPLE THAT MIGHT SEEM NOT RIGHT BUT TO ME IS SOMETHING THAT IF IT MAKES ME HAPPY THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME.. ITS JUST SO HARD TO START HEALING FROM YOUR PASSING BUT FOR ME ITS BEEN SOOO HARD BECAUSE THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO BUT I KNOW THAT WITH TIME I WILL LEARN HOW TO DO THIS BY MYSELF. I KNOW THAT THE TIME YOU WERE HERE WITH US YOU REALLY DIDN'T GET THE CHANCE OF ENJOYING THINGS LIKE A NORMAL BOY. BUT NOW THAT YOU ARE GONE I KNOW THAT IN HEAVEN YOU ARE LIVING AND ENJOYING THINGS WITH HAPPINESS AND NOT WITH PAIN AND SUFFERING. I'M GLAD BECAUSE I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT YOU ARE HAPPY. MOMMY LOVES YOU VERY VERY MUCH. I MISS YOU TERRIBLY AND WISH MANY TIMES THAT YOU WOULD COME BACK TO US. YOU KNOW THAT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MY PRECIOUS SON AND SWEET CHEEKS... I WILL ALWAYS ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER.
GOOD MORNING MY SWEET CHEEKS!!!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE ITS BEEN 9 MONTHS OF YOUR PASSING AND YOUR BURIAL. I ALWAYS FEEL THE SAME WAY I FELT WHEN YOU FIRST PAST AWAY. EACH MONTH THAT GOES BY I JUST FEEL THAT I MISS YOU MORE AND MORE EVEN THOUGH I DON'T SHOW IT. I ALWAYS TRY TO BE STRONG BECAUSE I TRY TO MAKE YOU PROUD AND NOT CRY AND BE SAD. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT ITS YOUR AUNTIES LUPE'S B-DAY AND ALSO THE BIRTHDAY OF THE VIRGIN MARY OF GUADALUPE. WE WILL BE GOING TO CHURCH TODAY AND TAKE HER SOME FLOWERS AND THANK HER FOR THE GIFT SHE GAVE US. IT WAS YOU MY PRECIOUS ANGEL CARLITOS. WE WENT TO GO VISIT YOU YESTERDAY IT WAS ALITTLE COLD BUT THE WEATHER DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE KNOWING THAT I WILL GO AND BE WITH YOU AT YOUR GRAVE THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. I WISH MANY TIMES THAT YOU WOULD STILL BE HERE WITH US. ESPECIALLY WITH ME! OUR BOND WAS AND WILL ALWAYS BE FOREVER BECAUSE IN MY HEART THAT'S WHAT I FEEL NOW AND FOREVER. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT NEXT WEEK IS CHRISTMAS ALREADY AND SOON NEW YEARS DAY. THESE HOLIDAYS ARE SO HARD BECAUSE I REMEMBER WHAT WE WERE DOING WITH YOU LAST YEAR. I'M DOING THE CHRISTMAS PARTY THIS YEAR AT OUR HOUSE. I JUST WANT TO KEEP THE TRADITION OF DOING THE CHRISTMAS PARTIES AT THE HOUSE BECAUSE THAT WILL CELEBRATE ALL THE GOODTIMES WE HAD TOGETHER WHEN YOU WERE STILL HERE WITH US. AS MANY DAYS AND MONTHS AND SOON YEARS GO BY ITS JUST GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE NO LONGER HERE. I SHOULD LET YOU KNOW THAT I BOUGHT YOU A COUPLE OF PRESENTS FOR CHRISTMAS. I KNOW THAT I SHOULDN'T BUY YOU PRESENTS BUT ITS SOMETHING I FEEL INSIDE ME. I THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE NO LONGER HERE DOESN'T MEAN THAT I SHOULD STOP BUYING LITTLE PRESENTS FOR YOU. WE ALL MISS YOU! YOUR DADDY SISTER AND ESPECIALLY ME YOUR MOMMY. THE THING THAT I JUST CAN'T GET USED TO IS BEING A FAMILY OF 4 AND NOW JUST A FAMILY OF 3. THAT'S THE THING THAT REALLY TEARS ME APART. WE WILL GO VISIT YOU SOOON. I MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH. I LOVE YOU MY SWEET CHEEKS AND PRECIOUS SON!
HELLO THERE MY SWEET CHEEKS!!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ANOTHER HOLIDAY PASSED BY AND YOU ARE NOT HERE TO ENJOY IT WITH US. I MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE THAT CAN HELP WITH THE SADNESS I FEEL INSIDE. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOUR SISTER WENT CAMPING WITH HER SCHOOL AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING THAT I FEEL SAD. I KNOW THAT SHE WILL COME BACK SOON BUT YOU I KNOW THAT I CAN'T GET YOU BACK EVEN THOUGH IF I WANTED TOO. I SOMETIMES THINK THAT I FEEL SO SAD THAT YOU BROUGHT ME SOOO MUCH HAPPINESS AND JOY AND ME I COULDN'T HELP THE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAT YOU HAD TO GO THRU IN YOUR LITTLE LIFE. WELL THANKSGIVING JUST PASSED. WE WENT TO GO VISIT YOU AND YOU KNOW THAT YOUR AUNTIE EVELYN AND HER GIRLS WENT TOO. I WANTED TO GO EARLY AND SEE YOU BECAUSE I KNOW THAT IT WOULD MAKE YOU VERY HAPPY. AFTER THAT I TOLD YOUR DAD AND SISTER THAT WE WOULD GO AND START PUTTING CHRISTMAS THINGS ON YOUR GRAVE AND MAKE IT LOOK VERY BEAUTIFUL. I ALWAYS THINK OF WAYS THAT I CAN MAKE YOUR GRAVE LOOK NICE. EVEN THOUGH YOUR NOT HERE ANYMORE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT WHEN YOUR AUNTIE AND ME WENT SHOPPPING FOR BLACK FRIDAY I BOUGHT YOU A SET OF CARS TOY CARS AND I ALSO WE PLAN TO BUY YOU CHRISTMAS TREE FOR THE HOUSE BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE ONE ON YOUR GRAVE I FEEL THAT I SHOULD HAVE ONE HERE AT HOME AND DECORATE IT LIKE IF YOU WERE HERE WITH US. I WILL GO VISIT YOU SOON AND TAKE YOU MANY OTHER THINGS TO YOUR GRAVE. I MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU LIKE IF NO WORDS CAN SAY AND EXPLAIN. MISS YOU MY SWEET CHEEKS AND MY PRECIOUS SON...
WELL IT HAS TAKEN ME A WHILE TO COME AND WRITE A LIL MESSAGE TO YOU, AND ITS NOT BECAUSE I DONT THINK OF YOU. I ACTUALLY THINK OF YOU EVERY SINGE DAY, I JUST FIND IT HARD SOMETIMES TO FIND THE WORDS TO SAY/WRITE. I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF YOU SO MUCH... IM SITTING HERE AT WORK AT 1AM AND YOU ARE STILL ON MY MIND SO I FIGURED IT WAS THE PERFECT TIME TO STOP BY AND SAY HI AND THAT WE LOVE AND MISS YOU!!! CHRIS STILL TALKS ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME. UNCLE PHILLIP KEEPS A PIC OF YOU RIGHT NEXT TO CHRIS AND LIL TONY IN HIS BRAND NEW CAR, OUR 3 SPECIAL LIL GUYS!!!
HELLO THERE MY SWEET CHEEKS!!!
IT'S NOW BEEN 8 MONTHS OF YOUR PASSING. ALMOST 8 MONTHS OF YOUR BURIAL. WELL AS TIME GOES BY IT STILL FEELS THE SAME AS THE DAY YOU PASSED AWAY. IT FEELS SOOO TERRIBLE TO FEEL THE EMPTY FEELING INSIDE MY HEART AND SOUL. AS YOU KNOW YOUR UNCLES WEDDING PASSED ALREADY. IT WAS A REALLY NICE WEDDING. EVERYTHING WAS FINE BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THE WEDDING THAT REALLY TOUCHED MY HEART. THEY FIRST HAD THE DADS DANCING WITH THEIR DAUGHTERS WHICH WAS OK BECAUSE YOUR SISTER DANCED WITH DADDY AND I AND YOUR AUNTS DANCED WITH GRANDPA. I FELT I HAD A KNOT IN THE THROAT BUT I JUST LET IT GO AND THOUGHT I WAS FINE. BUT WHEN THE DANCE WITH DAUGHTERS AND DADS FINISHED I SAID OH THAT'S NICE THAT THEY DID THAT! BUT RIGHT AFTER THAT THE D.J. ANNOUNCED THAT ALL THE MOTHERS DANCE WITH THEIR SONS! AS SOON AS I HEARD THAT I JUST BROKE DOWN AND STARTED CRYING BECAUSE I SAW HOW YOUR AUNTS GOT TO DANCE WITH THEIR SONS AND OTHER MOTHERS TOO. YOUR UNCLES TRIED TO TELL ME THAT IT WAS OK BUT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT FEELS TO LOOSE A SON AND FEEL SOOO EMPTY INSIDE. BUT AFTER I FELT I HAD TO CONTROL MYSELF AND PUT A STRONG FACE AND JUST TRY TO HAVE FUN FOR THE REST OF THE WEDDING. OH I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT I FIXED YOUR GRAVE REALLY NICE FOR HALLOWEEN. I PUT THIS REALLY SCARY LIKE GHOST ON A STICK ON YOUR GRAVE. ALSO BOUGHT SOMETHING FOR THANKSGIVING I KNOW IT'S ALITTLE EARLY BUT I JUST WANTED TO HAVE SOMETHING THERE TO MAKE IT FEEL LIKE THANKSGIVING. I WILL ALSO GO VISIT YOU SOON AND TAKE YOU SOME FLOWERS. I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH I JUST WISH YOU WERE HEAR WITH ME. AS EACH MONTH GOES BY I KEEP REMEMBERING THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED LAST YEAR AND THE MONTHS BEFORE THAT HAD A SPECIAL MEANING TO ME WHICH IS EVERYTHING BECAUSE EVERYTHING THAT WE WENT THRU IS SOOO IMPORTANT THAT NOTHING COULD BE FORGOTEN... I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH AND WISH YOU WERE HEAR... I WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER... I LOVE YOU MY SWEET CHEEKS!!!
HELLO THERE MY SWEET PEA!!!!
I MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH. I'M VERY HAPPY TO TELL YOU THAT WE NOTICED THAT SOMEONE VISITED YOUR GRAVE. I WAS VERY HAPPY TO KNOW THAT SOME WENT TO VISIT YOU. I SOMETIMES THINK THAT PEOPLE HAVE FORGOT ABOUT GOING TO VISIT YOU. I KNOW PEOPLE ARE BUSY BUT IT WOULDN'T HURT TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE GO VISIT YOU MORE OFTEN. I WISH I WOULD KNOW WHO VISITED YOU SO I COULD GIVE THEM THE THANKS. I ALSO WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOUR UNCLE TONY IS GETTING MARRIED THIS SATURDAY. I WISHED THAT YOU WERE HERE TO ENJOY THIS VERY SPECIAL DAY. EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT HERE I KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE WATCHING FROM HEAVEN AND FEELING VERY HAPPY TO SEE ME HAVING A GOOD TIME. I KNOW THAT YOU CAN SEE ME THAT I'M STILL VERY LOST AND CONFUSED TO NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE AFTER YOUR PASSING. ITS SO HARD TO THINK OF SOMETHING TO DO SINCE THE ROUTINE I HAD IS GONE. MY PRECIOUS SON I WISH THAT WITH TIME PASSING BY I COULD FIGURE OUT WHAT I SHOULD DO BUT I JUST DON'T!!! I JUST WONDER AND SOMETIMES THINK WHILE AT HOME ALONE WHAT I SHOULD DO BUT I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING THAT I COULD DO YET!! YOU KNOW THAT WE WENT TO VISIT YOU AT NIGHT AT WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE A SMALL DEER ROAMING AROUND THE CEMETARY LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO EAT. IT WAS SO CUTE AND SMALL. WE HAVE ALSO SEEN COYOTES. ITS ALITTLE DANGEROUS NOW BECAUSE SINCE ITS RATTLE SNAKE SEASON YOU JUST HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. I WILL GO VISIT YOU SOON. I WANT TO TAKE YOU SOME LITTLE HALLOWEEN THINGS THAT I CAN PUT ON YOUR GRAVE. YOU KNOW THAT YOUR AUNTIE EVELYN'S B-DAY IS THURSDAY AND SHE'LL BE GETTING OLDER. MAYBE SOON I'LL BE GETTING SOMETHING FOR YOU IN YOUR HONOR BUT YOU WILL KNOW AS SOON AS I'M ABLE TO GET IT! MY PRECIOUS SWEET CHEEKS I MISS YOU VERY VERY AND VERY MUCH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO KEEP BUSY AND KEEP THINKING OF THINGS THAT I KNOW HAVE NO WAY OF GOING BACK TO WHEN YOU WERE HEAR. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I WISH I COULD JUST CLOSE MY EYES AND THEN OPEN THEM AND SEE YOU HERE WITH ME. THAT'S JUST WISHFUL THINKING I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I FEEL IT INSIDE ME! I LOVE YOU ALWAYS MY PRECIOUS SON.! ALWAYS AND FOREVER AND EVER YOU WILL BE IN MY HEART AND SOUL!!!! MOMMY MISSES YOU TERRIBLY MORE AND MORE EACH PASSING DAY!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! MY SWEET CHEEKS AND PRECIOUS SON!!!!!
HELLO THERE MY PRECIOUS SON!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ITS BEEN 7 MONTHS THAT YOU PASSED AWAY. IT'S ALSO GOING TO BE 7 MONTHS THAT WE BURIED YOU. EVERY MONTH THAT PASSES BY I REMEMBER THAT AT AROUND A CERTAIN TIME YOU PASSED AWAY AND AT ALSO A CERTAIN TIME WE BURIED YOUR LITTLE BODY. MY HEART AND MIND ALWAYS THINKS WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SUFFER SO SO MUCH AND GO THRU ALOT OF PAIN THAT I WISHED I COULD OF DONE SOMETHING THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE THAT GO AWAY. AFTER ALL THESE MONTHS I STILL FEEL MY HEART SO EMPTY AND RIPPED APART. I SOMETIMES SIT ALONE AT HOME LOOK AT YOUR PICTURES AND MEMORIES AND SAY CARLITOS COME BACK... BUT I KNOW THAT THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE. I REALLY DON'T TELL OR LET PEOPLE KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL BECAUSE I KNOW THAT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THE WAY I FEEL. I USUALLY FEEL THAT WAY WHEN IT COMES TO THE 1ST OF THE MONTH. AFTERWARDS I TRY TO KEEP MYSELF BUSY THAT WAY I DON'T GET THE CHANCE TO THINK OF THINGS THAT I KNOW ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO COME TRUE! I WANT TO THANK YOUR AUNTIES LUPE AND EVELYN FOR THERE ENTRIES ON YOUR WEBPAGE. ALSO YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOUR UNCLE TONY IS GETTING MARRIED THIS OCTOBER 20. THAT DAY IS GOING TO BE A VERY HAPPY ONE FOR THE FAMILY. EVEN THOUGH THE WEDDING IS COMING SHORTLY I KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT HERE WITH US YOU ARE LOOKING OVER US. I JUST THINK AND I WONDER HOW IT WOULD BE IF YOU WERE HERE WITH US. I WENT TO GO VISIT YOUR GRAVE AND WE NOTICED THAT IT WAS SO NICE UP THERE BECAUSE IT WAS WINDY AND ALITTLE WARM. I THINK TO MYSELF AND SAY CARLITOS HAS ANYBODY CAME TO VISIT YOU YET BUT I KNOW THAT THEY HAVEN'T. ITS OK BECAUSE I KNOW THAT EVERYBODY IS REALLY BUSY AND WHEN THEY DO WANT TO VISIT THEY KNOW WHERE TO GO! I WILL GO VISIT YOU SOON.... YOU KNOW THAT I MISS YOU. EVERY DAY THAT PASSES I MISS YOU MORE AND MORE... YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY PRECIOUS SON... MY LITTLE SWEET CHEEKS. I LOVE YOU NOW AND FOREVER AND EVER. I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH MY PRECIOUS CHEEKS!
Hi Carlitos , as time passes and weeks turn into months I wonder how your mommy is coping she seems ok..your Daddy and sister are a great support team but u already know that. They really miss you but u know that too. Send us all your blessing from heaven Lord knows we all need it.Love Auntie Lupe
Carlitos, it is hard to belive that today it has been 7months since your passing.Life sometimes is so unfair and cruel. We wonder why a lil angel as your self that had not bad or no fault was born with such great pain!, But life has a meaning and Carlitos you were born and angel for a reason and god knew it. We miss you ever day. Its so hard to see your pictures and wish you were still here with us! Your mommy,daddy and sister really miss you and would love if you were still here. Your lil cousin always asks about you. She tells me" mommy is carlitos coming back on day" And it hurts to say no , But i explain that one day we will all be together with you. Please always know that we love you and miss you so much. You will always be our lil NEPHEW!! NEVER FORGOTTEN-?
HELLO MY PRECIOUS SON!!
I WENT TO YOUR GRAVE TO GO VISIT YOU. I TOOK YOU SOME NEW FLOWERS TO PUT ON YOUR GRAVE. I WANTED YOUR GRAVE TO LOOK NICE FOR IF YOU GET ANY VISITORS. I KNOW THAT IN MY HEART THAT YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANY VISITS BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING THAT MIGHT SHOW THAT YOU HAD ANY VISITS! YOU KNOW THAT I MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH. I JUST WISHED WITH ALL MY HEART THAT YOU WOULD STILL BE HERE WITH ME. I FEEL THAT IN MY HEART I WILL NEVER GET USED TO YOU NOT BEING BY MY SIDE. I STILL FEEL THAT IT WASN'T FAIR THAT YOU HAD TO SUFFER AND GO THRU PAIN IN THIS WORLD. I WOULD OF GIVEN ANYTHING TO BE ABLE TO STOP THE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAT YOU HAD TO GO THRU. WELL JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT REALLY SOON YOUR UNCLE TONY IS GOING TO GET MARRIED. THAT DAY IS GOING TO BE A VERY HAPPY DAY. ON THAT DAY MORE THAN EVER YOU WILL BE IN MY HEART AND SOUL AND WISHING YOU WERE HERE WITH ME AND YOUR SISTER AND DADDY. WHEN SPECIAL OCCASIONS GO BY I JUST THINK AND REMEMBER THAT THE YEAR BEFORE WHAT WE DID TOGETHER. I KNOW THAT I SHOULDN'T DO THAT BECAUSE I'M JUST MAKING MYSELF FEEL MORE AND MORE PAIN THAT I KNOW I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT. THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS JUST CRY ALONE AND FEEL SO SO LONELY. I KNOW THAT I STILL HAVE YOUR SISTER WITH ME BUT SHE IS HALF OF MY HEART BUT THE PART THAT'S YOU IS GONE AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO OR PUT ANYTHING IN YOUR PLACE. EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE GONE I STILL HAVE THE NEED TO LOOK AT YOUR BED, STROLLER, CARSEAT THAT I FOUGHT TO GET FOR A VERY LONG TIME. YOUR CLOTHES, SHOES, AND OTHER TOYS AND THINGS THAT I BOUGHT YOU WHEN YOU WERE HERE. WHEN I SEE ALL THOSE THINGS I THINK WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE THAT WOULD OF GAVE ME MORE TIME WITH YOU!!!! WELL MY PRECIOUS SON I WILL GO VISIT AGAIN SOON. REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE MY CUTIE PIE WITH SWEET CHEEKS. I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH..MY PRECIOUS SON AND LITTLE ANGEL IN MY HEART!!! I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER!!!
HELLO THERE MY SWEET CHEEKS!!
HOPEFULLY YOUR DOING OK. I KNOW THAT YOU ARE BECAUSE YOUR NOW WITH ALL THE LITTLE ANGELS IN HEAVEN FREE FROM PAIN AND SUFFERING. WELL THERE'S ANOTHER MONTH COMING BY AND GOING. THE MONTHS JUST COME AND GO MAKING YOUR PASSING A REALLY HARD TIME FOR ME. IT'S ALMOST THE END OF THE MONTH AND SOON THE BEGINNING. IT WILL BE 6 MONTHS OF YOUR PASSING AND 6 MONTHS OF YOUR BURIAL. AS TIME AND TIME GO BY ITS HARD BECAUSE I STILL CAN'T GET USED TO YOU NOT BEING BY MY SIDE. I WASN'T ABLE TO GO VISIT YOU LAST WEEK BECAUSE AS YOU KNOW I HAVE A REALLY BAD BACK. BUT AS SOON AS I FELT BETTER I WENT TO GO VISIT YOU. YOUR GRAVE LOOKED SOO NICE AND CLEAN. I WILL SOON GO VISIT YOU AND TAKE YOU SOME FLOWERS TO REPLACE THE ONES YOU ALREADY HAVE THERE. I SOMETIMES WONDER IF YOU HAVE HAD ANY VISITS FROM THE FAMILY. BUT I UNDERSTAND THEM BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THEY LIVE A REALLY BUSY LIFE AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES IT HARD FOR THEM TO GO AND VISIT. YOU KNOW ALREADY THAT I MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH. YOUR PASSING FOR ME IS STILL SOMETHING THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET. NO MATTER IF THE MONTHS GO BY AND AS THE YEAR OR YEARS GO BY. FOR ME YOU''RE MY CUTIE PIE WITH SWEET CHEEKS. YOU KNOW BETWEEN YOU AND ME OUR BOND WAS FOREVER AND ITS SOMETHING THAT THERE IS NO WORDS TO DISCRIBE IT. I WILL ALWAYS KEEP YOU IN MY HEART AND SOUL. I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET YOU MY SWEET CHEEKS...... MY PRECIOUS SON!!!!!!
IT'S NOW 5 MONTHS OF YOUR PASSING AND SOON 5 MONTHS THAT WE BURIED YOU.
WELL WHAT CAN I TELL YOU BESIDES THINGS YOU ALREADY KNOW. YESTERDAY ME AND YOUR SISTER WENT WITH YOUR AUNTIE LUPE TO RAGING WATERS. IT WAS REALLY NICE BECAUSE I HAVEN'T GONE THERE IN A COUPLE OF YEARS. I REALLY LIKED IT. YOUR SISTER GOT ALITTLE SUNBURN AND I DID TOO. I JUST WISHED THAT YOU WOULD STILL BE HERE AND ENJOY THESE THINGS THAT I DO WITH YOUR SISTER. EVEN THOUGH I GO PLACES IN MY HEART AND MIND I SAY AND FEEL THE NEED TO THINK WHY CAN'T YOU STILL BE HERE TO ENJOY THESE THINGS. I KNOW THAT IT WASN'T FAIR WHEN YOU WHERE HERE WITH US THAT YOUR ILLNESS MADE IT HARD FOR US TO TAKE YOU OUT AND ENJOY MANY THINGS. THE IMPORTANT THING OF ALL WAS KEEPING YOU HEALTHY WHICH I TRIED BUT I GUESS I SHOULD OF TRIED ALITTLE HARDER. I KNOW THAT THERE WASN'T ANYTHING MORE I COULD OF DONE TO KEEP YOU HERE WITH US BUT I FEEL THAT MAYBE I SHOULD OF DONE SOMETHING MORE BUT TIL NOW I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE I COULD OF DONE. I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT I CARED FOR YOU AND GAVE IT ALL MY STRENGH TO GIVE YOU THE BEST THAT I COULD AND MORE. I KNOW THAT I DID MORE THAN ANY OTHER PARENTS WOULD DO TO KEEP OUR LITTLE ANGELS HERE WITH US. AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE VERY DIFFICULT TO TAKE CARE OF A SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD OR AS OUR LITTLE ANGELS. I KNOW THAT MANY PEOPLE AREN'T GIVEN THE CHANCE AND JOY OF HAVING AND CARING FOR A SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD. I KNOW THAT I WAS GIVEN THAT CHANCE BECAUSE IN MY HEART I FELT THAT MY LITTLE ANGEL THAT I HAD WITH ME WAS GOING TO TEACH ME THINGS THAT I KNOW THEY WOULD MAKE ME A STRONGER WOMAN AND AT THE SAMETIME A REALLY PROUD MOTHER. MY LITTLE ANGEL IS NOW IN HEAVEN AND IS NOW HAVING THE LIFE THAT HE SHOULD OF HAD WHICH IS BEING HEALTHY AND FULL OF JOY AND HAPPINESS.
I MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH MY SWEET CHEEKS!!!
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND CARRY YOU IN MY HEART AND MIND. I LOVE YOU NOW AND FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!
IT HAS BEEN A COUPLE OF DAYS THAT I HAVEN'T WROTE TO YOU. I HAVE BEEN ALITTLE BUSY BECAUSE IT'S ALMOST YOUR SISTERS B-DAY. IT'S ANOTHER HAPPY DAY FOR US. BUT FOR ME IT'S ANOTHER DAY THAT I DON'T HAVE YOU HERE WITH ME. YOU KNOW THAT I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO HAVE YOU HERE WITH US AND SPECIALLY WITH YOUR SISTER. I ALWAYS KEEP YOU WITH ME AND ANYTHING I DO I KNOW YOU ARE HERE WITH ME. TODAY WE WENT TO GO VISIT YOUR GRAVE. IT WAS ME YOUR DAD AND SISTER AND GRANDMA TOO. IT WAS SO NICE UPTHERE BECAUSE IT WAS REALLY WINDY AND ALITTLE WARM BUT IT WAS REALLY GOOD. I CLEANED YOUR LITTLE PLACK. IT WAS FULL OF DIRT AND ALITTLE DUST. BUT AFTER I CLEANED IT IT LOOKED REALLY NICE. YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I MISS YOU ALOT. I'M GOING THROUGH THE DAYS AND NIGHTS THINKING OF YOU AND WISHING YOU WERE STILL HERE WITH US. I TRY ALOT NOT TO MAKE YOU SAD BY SEEING ME CRY BUT I STILL CAN'T HELP THE FEELING OF BEING LONELY BECAUSE YOUR NO LONGER WITH ME. HOPEFULLY THAT YOUR OK AND ARE HAVING ALOT OF FUN WITH ALL THE OTHER LITTLE ANGELS IN HEAVEN. YOU KNOW THAT AS THE DAYS AND MONTHS GO BY I STILL FEEL THE SAME AS IF ITS JUST YESTERDAY OF YOUR PASSING AND YOUR BURIAL. WHAT CAN I SAY YOUR PASSING IS SOMETHING THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET AND ALSO GET USED TOO. I WISHED YOU WOULD STILL BE HERE WITH ME. MY LITTLE SWEET CHEEKS I MISS YOU ALOT. YOU KNOW THAT OUR BOND IS SOOO BIG THAT I DON'T THINK THAT I WILL NEVER GET USED TO THE FACT THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER HERE WITH ME. I MISS YOU ALOT EVERYDAY. I WILL ALWAYS ALWAYS MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH. I LOVE NOW AND FOREVER AND EVER. MOMMY LOVES YOU SOOO MUCH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY SWEET CHEEKS. I LOVE YOU. MANY KISSES AND HUGS FOR YOU FROM DADDY MOMMY AND YOUR BIG SISTER.
Well as you know today is your cousin kady 7th bday! And again i am sad that you wont be hear to enjoy this day today with us as well!Your cousin kady misses you so much! she always asks about you and says a prayer for you. She also told me last night that she was making her lil brother a special gift basket to give to you so you can share in heaven with all the other little boys and girls too. She sure loves you!! As we all do.. Carlitos please watch over us and send us a hug when you can. We love you little guy..
WELL TODAY ITS EXACTLY 4 MONTHS OF YOUR PASSING. IN A COUPLE OF DAYS IT WILL 4 MONTHS OF YOUR BURIAL. I'M REALLY SAD BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT HERE WITH ME. WE WENT TO GO VISIT YOU TODAY. I TOOK YOU SOME FRESH FLOWERS TO MAKE YOUR GRAVE LOOK NICE AND HAPPY. THE THINGS THAT YOU HAD ON YOUR GRAVE AND THE THINGS THE OTHER GRAVES HAD TO BE REMOVED BECAUSE IT WAS GETTING VERY FULL. EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ON YOUR GRAVE THE FLOWERS ARE STILL THERE. I WILL ALWAYS HAVE FLOWERS ON YOUR GRAVE SO IT DOESN'T LOOK SAD. ALTHOUGH I WISH I COULD PUT MANY THINGS ON YOUR GRAVE I CAN'T. SO FOR NOW FLOWERS WILL DO. HOPEFULLY YOU ARE HAVING FUN AND PLAYING ALOT WITH MANY OTHER LITTLE KIDS. YOU KNOW I HAVEN'T WROTE TO YOU IN A COUPLE OF DAYS BECAUSE I WAS ALITTLE BUSY BUT NOW I HAVE TIME TO WRITE TO YOU. YOU KNOW I HAD A VERY NICE DAY ON SATURDAY BECAUSE YOUR SISTER AND I WERE AT YOUR AUNTIE LUPE'S HOUSE FOR A LITTLE WHILE. WE SWAM FOR AWHILE AND HAD LUNCH AFTER WARDS SO IT WAS A VERY NICE DAY FOR BOTH OF US. AS YOU KNOW ITS STILL LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY OF YOUR PASSING AND YOUR BURIAL. I STILL KEEP TRACK OF THE DAYS AND MONTHS OF YOUR PASSING. IN MY CALENDAR FOR EVERY MONTH THAT PASSES I WRITE ITS BEEN SO LONG OF THE PASSING AND TIME YOU PASSED AWAY. EACH MONTH ON THE CALENDAR I WRITE THESE THINGS. I THINK I WILL NEVER GET USED TOO YOU NOT BEING HERE BY MY SIDE. I WILL ALWAYS WISH THAT I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO STILL HAVE YOU HERE AND SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE AND SMILE. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY SWEET CHEEKS AND CUTIE PIE. ALWAYS ALWAYS MY PRECIOUS SON. I LOVE YOU NOW AND FOREVER.
THIS IS MOMMY!!!!
Hey there precious hopefully you are ok. This saturday was your cousins b-day. She turned 10 yrs old. Your aunt did her a b-day party to celebrate it. It was a very fun day at your aunts house. Then the following day was Fathers Day. Well I know that your dad was happy because he looked sooo happy. Well you know me already I try to put a strong face but I was very sad inside. Even though your not here I can't stop to think of all the other Fathers Day you were here with us. These holidays are coming and coming and its just bringing back memories of you when you were here with us and all the good times we had with you. We went to go visit you today. Your grave looked so nice but one of your toy trucks was broken. I told you before we left your grave that I was going to buy you another one to replace that one. I also said that the next visit you would get your toy and I was going to take you fresh flowers too. It's just so nice upthere. Its so peaceful and relaxing too. I can't believe that after 3 months of your passing I still can't get used too you not being here with me. I just lay down at night and think what would it be like to still have you here with me. How would it be to have you and hug you and give you lots of kisses. What would I feel to have that chance to take care of you again. I know that you can't come back to me but sometimes I wish that it could happen. I feel that I needed alittle more time with you. I miss you soooo much My Sweet Cheeks! Your my Cutie Pie with cutie face and cutie feet. I will write to you soon and go visit you again soon. YOUR MOMMY THAT LOVES YOU WITH ALL HER HEART AND SOUL. I WILL LOVE YOU TODAY TOMORROW AND FOREVER!
Good Morning Carlitos,
I was thinking of you this morning! As you know this saturday is your Cousins Tiffany 10th birthday! And all the cousin,family and friend will be there to help celebrate such a special day. It just makes me sad that this year you wont be there!! I know you will be there in spirit and watching down from heaven.We love you so much and we miss you little guy. Your cousins talk about you and miss you every day. They always pray for you at night and say we love or little brother Carlitos...Carliots i know that fathers day is also coming on sunday an i can only imagine how hard that day will be! Please send your daddy a big huge and kiss down from heaven.
Well I haven't wrote to you in a couple of days. We went to go visit you but it was a short visit. I told you we would return in a couple of days. I think of all the days that are coming and I think its one month and then two. Well as the months of your passing go by its getting harder and harder to get use to thinking why do I have to get used to thinking its one month of your passing then two. I wish that I wouldn't have to go thru this because its harder and harder as the months go by. I sometimes think and when I see your pictures I say to them goodmorning and I wish you would still be here with us and especially with me. At night when I see your pictures I think and say good nite and I wish you would still be here with me. I sometimes think that what happend to you wasn't fair because I still had strengh to take care of you. I will write and visit you soon my precious son. I will always love you and miss you forever. I love you I love and I love you.
I just wanted to thank you, last week when I went to go visit you, I felt like I needed to get away, sitting on the green grass, under the tree, the wind was blowing and the silence all around us... talking to you helped me heal my heart.. you truly are an angel in heaven.....
SOY TU DADDY!!!!
TE QUIERO MUCHO. TU SABES QUE YO SIEMPRE TE TENGO EN MI CORAZON Y EN MI MENTE. YO TAMBIEN SE QUE TU DESDE EL CIELO NOS CUIDAS Y NOS BENDICES.
TU SABES QUE YO SIEMPRE TE VOY A TENER EN MI CORAZON.
TU PAPI QUE TE QUIERE MUCHO.
I can't believe its been 3 months of your passing and soon 3 months that we buried you. I still can't get used too you not being here with us especially with me your MOMMY!! Its been really hard to try to go thru the months and not think its going to get better as time goes bye. The reality is that as time goes bye it really doesn't help because when you have a bond with your son as big as I did its really hard. We went to go visit you on saturday. The day was really nice and windy. We were there talking with you and saying how cute you were and still are even though you're not here with us. We have had alot of pictures of you printed out to give to your aunts. I sometimes look at your pictures that I have on my cell phone and think what would it be if you were still here with us. I tend to get alittle depressed because I only have memories of you and I no longer have you and that bond that we had when you were here with me. I try not to think of these things but its hard especially when I'm at home by myself or when I have time to think of the good times with you. We had alot of good times some bad ones but the ones that counted were the good ones. I cherished every time and moment I had with you. The things you did that were limited time events. The time that I got you to smile was timeless. The little noises that I taught you and then you did them was the most wonderful thing in my heart. The way you looked at me made me feel like the most honered person there was because I was given the chance to take care of some so special like you. The journey that I had when you were here with me was very special. When I got this journey that I knew it was going to change my life I knew it was going to be hard. I thought this little angel was given to me to take care of him and I wasn't going to let him or myself down. The reward that I got from this was plain and simple "THE LOVE OF MY PRECIOUS SON AND THE LOVE HE GAVE ME IN RETURN"! THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING TIMELESS AND PRICELESS!
YOU KNOW THAT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER AND YOUR ALWAYS IN MY HEART!
I LOVE YOU MY SWEET CHEEKS!
Well its almost 3 months of your passing and burial. It feels like its been yesterday that this day happend and had to go through it . Well I should let you know that we went to go visit you and grandma and cousin too. Your grave is just so beautiful. I know that I need to take you more flowers so that your grave looks more nicer than before. I know that maybe you have had visitors because I leave your grave a certain way and when I return it looks totally different. I also think that you and your neighbors play with the toys. Your tree we planted for you in your honor is so beautiful. A day after we planted your tree there was two white pigeons right over the tree. We figured that it was you and Jesus that came to see the tree. That day I was so happy because I knew that you came to see how beautiful the tree is now. I know that as the days and months go by I need to try and heal the pain and suffering inside my heart and soul.
You will always be my sweet cheeks and cutie pie . I will always love you forever and ever. My Precious Son!
WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU. WE FOUND YOUR TREE THAT WE WANTED TO BUY FOR YOU IN YOUR HONOR. ITS CALLED HONG KONG ORCHID TREE. ITS VERY NICE AND PRETTY TOO. WE HAD TO LOOK FOR AWHILE BUT WE FINALLY FOUND IT AND ITS ON OUR YARD PLANTED ALREADY. WE WENT TO VISIT YOU ON SUNDAY. WE WERE SUPOSE TO GO SATURDAY AND SUNDAY BUT I WASN'T FEELING THAT GOOD ON SATURDAY BECAUSE MY BACK WAS HURTING. EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T OK ON SUNDAY BUT I STILL WENT TO GO VISIT YOU. WHEN WE GOT TO YOUR GRAVE THE HURT I HAD AT HOME I DIDN'T HAVE IT AT ALL WHEN I WAS THERE WITH YOU. EVERYTIME THAT I'M FEELING DOWN AND SAD I JUST THINK OF YOU AND WAIT FOR WHEN I GO VISIT YOU AND ALL THAT I'M FEELING JUST GOES AWAY. JUST KNOWING THAT I'M THERE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T CARRY YOU OR SEE YOU I STILL FEEL CLOSE TO YOU. ITS NOT THE SAME AS WHEN YOU WERE HERE BUT THAT'S THE ONLY THING I HAVE NOW. I SOMETIMES WISH THAT THE TIME WOULD GO BACK AND I COULD STILL BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. I KNOW THAT MIGHT SOUND WEIRD AND NOT RIGHT BUT THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING AS OF NOW. I KNOW MANY PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING BUT WHEN YOU HAD A BOND WITH YOUR SON BIGGER THAN WORDS CAN DESCRIBE ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE AS EASY AS PEOPLE THINK IT CAN! I KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN A BETTER PLACE AND I'M GLAD FOR THAT BUT I'M NOT. I STILL PRAY THAT HOPEFULLY I CAN GO ON AND FIGURE OUT WHAT I NEED TO DO WITH MY LIFE NOW THAT YOU ARE GONE. WELL TOMORROW I'M GOING TO YOUR COUSINS B-DAY PARTY AT YOUR AUNTIES LUPE'S HOUSE. SHE'S DOING A BBQ FOR HIS B-DAY. I TRY TO HAVE FUN BUT WHEN I DO TRY I START TO THINK OF YOU AND THINK CARLITOS SHOULD BE RIGHT HERE WITH US AND ENJOY THE PARTY. BUT I KNOW I CAN NO LONGER DO THAT BUT ITS A HABIT THAT WHEN THERE WOULD BE A PARTY YOU WERE HERE TO ENJOY IT WITH US. I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I MISS YOU SOOOOO MUCH THAT SOMETIMES I THINK TO MYSELF WHAT WOULD MY LIFE BE IF CARLITOS WOULD STILL BE ALIVE. BUT THIS THOUGHT JUST BRINGS TEARS TO MY EYES BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE MANY FEELINGS LIKE THIS I CAN'T DO ANYTHING THAT CAN MAKE ME FEEL BETTER AND NOTHING I MEAN NOTHING I CAN DO TO BRING YOU BACK TO ME AND TO OURLIVES. I WISH YOU A GOOD NITE AND SWEET DREAMS. I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH AND I DO MEAN SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. YOUR MY CUTIE PIE AND ALWAYS MY SWEET CHEEKS. MISS YOU ALWAYS MY PRECIOUS SON!
HELLO MY SWEET CHEEKS.
WELL WHAT CAN I SAY; MOTHERS DAY JUST PASSED AND WASN'T REALLY HAPPY BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE YOU WITH ME. I HAD A REALLY HAPPY FACE FOR YOUR SISTER BUT INSIDE I WAS JUST FALLING APART. YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I MISS YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL. I HAVEN'T GONE TO VISIT YOU BECAUSE YOUR DAD WAS WORKING LATE THIS WEEK. BUT TODAY EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T FEELING THAT GOOD I WENT TO GO VISIT YOU. THE PAIN I HAD DOESN'T STOP ME FROM GOING TO VISIT YOU. I NOTICED THAT FROM THE LAST TIME WE WENT TO VISIT YOUR GRAVE I LEFT IT A CERTAIN WAY. TODAY WHEN I WENT TO YOUR GRAVE I NOTICED THAT SOMEONE WENT BECAUSE THE GRAVE WASN'T THE WAY I LEFT IT. I'M JUST HAPPY THAT THEY VISIT YOU. YOU KNOW THAT I WILL BE VISITING YOUR GRAVE THIS WEEKEND TO MAKE UP FOR THE DAYS THAT I HAD NOT WENT TO SEE YOU. AS EACH MONTH IS GOING BY AND HOLIDAYS PASS I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE GONE. I MIGHT LOOK HAPPY SOME DAYS BUT I'M REALLY NOT BUT ALL I CAN DO IS TAKE THINGS DAY BY DAY. I WILL WRITE TO YOU SOON AND VISIT YOU TOO. YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY MIND AND HEART. I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH MY SWEET CHEEKS NOW AND FOREVER AND EVER.
Well I'm back again and I'm writing to you again where I left off. We went to take out your grandma for mothers day. Now I'm here at home and thinking about you while I'm writing my thoughts. I was having a good time with your aunts and grandma at dinner. We ate italian. But now that I'm home I can't stop thinking of you. I know you didn't do much but to me just looking at you and knowing you were here with me was everything I needed. I'm very sad because this big holiday just passed . I know many holidays are coming but all I can do is pray that my hurt pain and suffering gets better as the holidays go by? I hope that you don't get sad when you see me from heaven crying and suffering and full of pain to know that just the fact of not seeing you is breaking my heart. I know that maybe when your aunts see this its alittle touching to their hearts. When I read your aunts entries its a feeling of sadness but then alittle happiness for me. I should let you know that I cry in the mornings and nights because I wished I could look at your bed and see you there. But the only satisfaction I can have is that I can go and visit you but I just wished that I could visit you and be able to see you and not just a picture of you. I just feel soooo lonely at times because the things I used to do with you I can no longer do. I do now many things with your sister but the things we do doesn't fill the emptiness that you left me . I know with time all the attention we gave you now has to go to your sister. Because I know that you needed all my attention but since you're now in a better place I can focus on giving your sister the attention I wasn't giving her. You already know that I love you with all my heart and soul. You will always be my sweet cheeks. Now and Forever!!!
WELL ANOTHER HOLIDAY IS HERE!
AS YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS DAY IS VERY, VERY HARD FOR ME BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT HERE WITH ME! ALSO YOUR DAD AND SISTER TOO. THE DAY HAS FELT SOOO LONG AND LONELY BUT I TRY TO KEEP BUSY SO I DON'T HAVE TIME TO THINK OF THE MOTHERS DAYS THAT I HAD WHEN YOU WERE HERE WITH ME. ITS BEEN SUCH A HARD MONTH SINCE ITS BEEN 2 MONTHS OF YOUR PASSING AND 2 MONTHS THAT WE BURIED YOU. I STILL FEEL THE SAME AS WHEN YOU FIRST PASSED AWAY AND WHEN WE HAD TO SAY GOOD BYE FOR THE LAST TIME. I KNOW I HAVE YOU IN MY HEART BUT I WISH I COULD STILL HAVE YOU HERE WITH ME AND SAY ALL THOSE THINGS THAT I USED TO TELL YOU WHEN YOU WERE HERE. BUT I GUESS I HAVE TO GET USED TOO NOT BEING ABLE TO DO THOSE THINGS THAT AT SOME POINT CAME NATURAL TO ME.
I WILL WRITE TO YOU IN A LITTLE WHILE. FOR NOW LOVE YOU MY SWEET CHEEKS NOW AND FOREVER!!!
I can't believe its been 2 months that we buried you!! To me it feels like it was just yesterday of your passing and then know that we had to take care of all the cemetary arrangements!!!
Carlitos mommy misses you soooo much! Every morning I wake up and I look at your bed and I wished you would be there! But I know you can't . During the days I look at all your memories and pictures and I wished that I would of had more time with you! Also during the nights I look at your bed again and think of all the times I had to get up and give you your medicine! It was a hard job but I was able to do it. Then I think of all those hard days that you were sick and then all those long nights. I knew they were hard times because everytime you would get sick I tried everything to get you well again. Sometimes I was very lucky that I was able to get you well very soon but sometimes not that good! I went to go visit you on Sunday . I cleaned your grave because it was alittle dirty and some of the things you have there where very dirty and muddy! After I cleaned your grave it looked very nice and pretty. Well another holiday is coming up! That's mothers day! I know I should be happy but I can't . This mothers day is going to be very sad for me because I don't have you here with me. I will have a happy face for your sister because I need her to know that I'm happy! But in my heart half of it is happy but the other half is soooo sad and empty. No one knows that days like these are very sad because you were a mommy of two but now of only one. That's a very depressing feeling to have to go through it and hope that someday you can fill it with lots of love and happiness! But for now its just sadness and the feeling of being alone and empty. I know that you don't want me to feel this way but I can't stop this feeling. I remember all the other mothers days and how happy I was and that just makes me more sad because I know theywere happy but now I feel them being sooo sad. I just can't tell you of how I feel right now because I just would start crying and then think what could I have done to have you here with us for alittle longer. That sounds selfish but sometimes when I'm at home by myself I look around and say carlitos why did you have to go I wasn't ready. I knew already that your stay with us was going to be short but in my heart I wished and prayed that the short stay would turn into a longer and longer stay. Even though we knew these things when it came to the end I looked ready but in reality I wasn't and still am not ready to accept you passing away! Many people don't understand this but as soon as this happens they'll know and understand the sadness, emptiness , and feeling depressed that its what I'm going through NOW! I will go visit you soon and also daddy and your big sister too. I always read all the nice entries that your aunties lupe and evelyn write to you. They make me feel happy but when I start reading them I just start crying because I know that they also feel sad and they wished you would be here with us. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU my precious son and you know that you were always MY SWEET CHEEKS!..... NOW AND FOREVER!!
Hi Carlitos its your Auntie Lupe Sorry I have not gone to see your grave since your Bday. Ive spent some time with your mommy and sister and hope that they are dealing somewhat better at this point but I know that is wishfull thinking Your sister Jocelyn loves to play with Lexie as you already know they get along well because they both feel lonely at times when they are home bythemselves..so they are a good pair. Your Mommy is still trying to figure this whole life without you! It will take time and help from you! Feeling your blessing and your strenght will help her heal at her own pace.She misses you so much.I cant imagine her pain All I know is she had great courage while you were here to help you. And She needs your guidance to move forward Send your Mommy a kiss from heaven and let her know you are alright! With all the angels above Goodnite Carlitos Love Auntie Lupe
Hey carlitos, I cant belive its been 2 moths since your passing! Just wanted to let you know that we think about you every day and miss you. Your cousins still talk about you and always ask if your ok and happy up in heaven.You are our little angel up in the sky. Carlitos give your mommy,daddy and Sister jocelyn strenght and send them a kiss and hug. I know they miss u and would really love that. We forever miss you little man and keep you in our hearts and thoughts and Prayers. WE love you and will never forget Carlitos Aguilar..
I can't believe its been 2 months today that you passed away. Real soon it'll be 2 months that we buried you. To me it feels like it was yesterday that you passed away. It has been very very hard to know that your not here with us. Specially with me your mommy. I still cry and feel lost and sometimes feel very very sad. I feel like I wasn't ready for you to pass away and leave me in this time of pain. I still had the strengh to keep going but I knew you didn't I felt you were already tired. We went to go visit you yesterday. It was a really nice day. We cleaned up your grave and made it look very nice. Yesterday when I was there with you I thought about you passing away and the 2 months that your not here. I know that even though I try to keep a smile on my face in my heart I'm very sad and full of pain that right now nothing can stop this feeling. I know that many times I wished you would be here but I know you will not. Sometimes I just stare at your memories and pictures to see if I can feel better but I just can't that just brings tears to my eyes. Each time I write to you I can't stop feeling sad and the tears that keep coming down my face! I wished that I could do something to feel better but I can't because even when I write to you the sadness gets even more and more painful! Hopefully I can find something that'll keep me busy! You know that we try to visit often but the weather hasn't been very good. I will soon receive your rosary rose that I can put it on your little alter we made for you at home. I will go visit you and write to you very soon!........ I always miss you and love you very very much!!!
Hi carlitos it's your sister Jocelyn I miss you sooo much and I wish you could still be with us today. The house isn't the same without you. It feels lonley and things aren't the same. All of us miss you alot. We all love you and will hold you in our hearts forever .
Love your sister,
YOUR BIRTHDAY JUST PASSED! IT WASN'T THE SAME.
WE WENT TO YOUR GRAVE TO TAKE YOU A CAKE AND SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY. IT WAS A VERY NICE DAY BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH IT GOT WINDY IT WAS STILL NICE UP THERE. WE TOOK YOU A CAKE AND SOME GIFTS FOR YOU AND FROM YOUR UNCLES AND AUNTS. ALL OF THE FAMILY WAS THERE SOME WENT A DAY BEFORE YOUR BIRTHDAY AND THE REST THE DAY OF YOUR BIRTHDAY. WE WERE VERY HAPPY TO SEE EVERYONE THERE. EVERYONE LOOKED VERY HAPPY AND HAD A GOOD TIME UP THERE. WE WERE THERE FOR A WHILE. WE SANG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU RIGHT OVER YOUR GRAVE. WHEN THEY STARTED SINGING I TRIED TO BE STRONG BUT I STARTED CRYING. I WAS LOOKING AWAY BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO SEE ME CRY AND FEEL SAD ON THIS VERY SPECIAL DAY. AFTER THE SINGING WAS DONE I WAS JUST REMEMBERING YOUR OTHER BIRTHDAYS. I KNOW I REALLY SHOULDN'T BUT ITS SOMETHING THAT I COULDN'T REALLY THINK OF ON THIS DAY THAT IS SO SPECIAL TO ME AND YOUR DAD AND SISTER. I KNOW THAT THE CAKE WE TOOK AND TIME WE SPENT WITH YOU WAS A GOOD WAY OF CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY. BUT I WAS REMEMBERING YOUR OTHER B-DAYS AND I KNOW I DID ABOUT THE SAME THING BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE DIFFERENCE ITS THAT YOU WERE HERE WITH US! THE WAY I HAD TO CARRY YOU WHEN I COULD BECAUSE OVER THE YEARS YOU GOT ALITTLE HEAVY. BUT KNOWING THAT I HAD TO CARRY YOU AND HAVE YOU CLOSE TO ME AND GIVE YOU ALITTLE OF YOUR CAKE WAS SOO SPECIAL TO ME. THEN TO OPEN YOUR GIFTS AND SHOW YOU WHAT YOUR UNCLES AND AUNTS GAVE YOU. THAT WAS SO SPECIAL TO ME. YOU REALLY DIDN'T DO MUCH BUT I WAS THE ONE THAT DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I WAS YOUR HANDS,YOUR FEET, YOUR VOICE, AND MANY OTHER THINGS THAT YOU COULDN'T DO BUT AS YOUR MOMMY I WAS HONORED TO DO THOSE THINGS FOR YOU. I KNOW THAT I HAVEN'T WROTE TO YOU IN A COUPLE OF DAYS BUT I THINK OF YOU EVERYDAY MORNING AND NIGHTS AND SOMETIMES WISH YOU WOULD BE HERE WITH US. THAT MIGHT SOUND ALITTLE SHELFISH BUT ITS THE TRUTH! AS DAYS GO BY I STILL FEEL LOST AND CONFUSED AND SAD THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE! I KNOW THAT ITS BEEN 1 MONTH AND A COUPLE OF DAYS OF YOUR PASSING BUT TO ME ITS LIKE IT JUST HAPPEND YESTERDAY. I TRY TO BE STRONG BUT YOUR MEMORIES AND THE TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER IS SOOO STRONG THAT ITS JUST SOO HARD TO TRY TO GET USED TO NOT HAVING YOU IN MY LIFE AND BY MY SIDE. I KNOW THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND ME BECAUSE ITS A PART OF LIFE THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE WOULD BE AFRAID TO GO THRU AND MAYBE THEY ARE NOT READY TO DO. I JUST HOPE THAT MAYBE AS TIME GOES ON I CAN GET THE STRENGH THAT I HAD WHEN YOU WERE HERE WITH ME WHICH I KNOW I CAN. ITS JUST GOING TO TAKE ME A WHILE BUT I STILL HAVEN'T LOST HOPE. I JUST NEED TIME TO HEAL MY HEART AND SOUL FROM BEING TORN INTO MANY LITTLE PIECES. I WILL NOT DISSAPOINT YOU BECAUSE YOU KNOW I'M STRONG AND WHATEVER I DECIDE TO DO TO BETTER MYSELF I WILL DO!!! I JUST HOPE YOU DON'T GET SAD WHEN YOU SEE ME FROM HEAVEN THAT I'M GOING THRU SOME DAYS OF CRYING AND FEELING SAD AND LOST. BUT I KNOW I NEED ALOT OF TIME TO HEAL AND THAT'S WHAT I HAVE TIME.....MOMMY LOVES YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND YOUR DADDY AND SISTER TOO...... I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MY SWEET CHEEKS NOW AND FOREVER!!!!
Happy Birthday from mommy daddy and sister!
This is a very special day . The day you were born. You were born on this april 19, 2007. You were born and weighed 7 pounds 5 ounces. You were so white and chuncky. You made our day feel full of joy and happiness and a day we would never forget. You had a face and a smile that would brighten our days and nights. You were born about 2:20 pm. Yesterday I was going thru the many pictures I have of you and felt very sad but at the sametime I was happy. I have many many pictures of you of the good times and not so good times and the pictures of the last days you gave us. The times I remember are your Birthday parties , the Holiday parties and the many many times we had with you. You were so chuncky that your uncles and aunts just wanted to squeeze your hands and give you lots of kisses. This day is a day that you turn 5 yrs old. You were going to be my big little boy. But I think that you were already very tired of the pain and suffering that you had to go thru these last couple of years. You gave us 4 1/2 years of being with us even though some were good and some bad. The most important ones are the many many good ones. I still remember your first cry , first time I carried you. This day is hard for me because I just have memories of you but its not the same as having you here with us. Today we are going to your grave and take you a little cake and sing you happy birthday. Many of your aunts and uncles are going to go and join us on this very special day. The day that my little carlitos was born. I will write to you again after we get back from visiting you. We love you very much my sweet cheeks!
Good Morning Carlitos,
April 19th is a very special day for us! That is the day the doors of heaven opened and a little angel was sent from Heaven and that angel is you. You were born such a beautiful little angel with your chubby cheeks,white skin,big eyes and those eye lashes that just people fall in love. No one knows why our little angel had to leave our side so early! Maybe god had a better plans for you or maybe your mommy,daddy and sister needed a angel to watch over them and that was you. Carlitos we miss you so much every day and we wish that you were hear with us! But i am sure that were you are now is the best place for you. No More PAIN!! Born And Angel And now our gaurdian angel. Carlitos ours four a while but forever in our hearts. Happy 5th Birthday Little Sweet Angel Of Ours. May God Bless You And Thank You For The 4 1/2 Years you gave us. Many Many Hugs And Kisses To YOu Up In HEAVEN..
Hi Carlitos tomorrow would of been your 5th Bday It is going to be a very tuff day for your mommy! We are going to have cake ad celebrate your birthday even though you are not with us anymore we want to share this very special day with your parents and Jocelyn who miss you very much! but know you are watching over them and all of us too! Love Aunte Lupe
Good Morning Sweet Little Boy,
Just Wanted To Let You Know That We Missed Your Smile This Easter Sunday And Your Birthday Is Right Around The Corner. Holidays Are Just Not The Same Now That Your Not Here, But We Will Always Remember You And Miss You. We Forever Love You And Think Of Our Special Little Guy Up In Heaven.Looking Forward To Visit Your Grave On Your Birthday And Spend Some Time With You In The Special Peaceful Spot. We Love You With All Our Heart! Forever in Our Prayers, Carlitos..
I can't tell you how we missed you this easter Sunday. We went on holy Saturday to your grave to take you a couple of easter gifts we bought for you. But when we arrived we saw that someone had left you some gifts . We were thinking of who brought you these gifts. We were just glad that someone did. On easter Sunday we made plans to go visit you again. I found out your auntie lupe and uncle phillip took you gifts. That was so nice of them and I thank them. Well this month is hard for me because easter just passed and I remembered how we use to celebrate it. But now the hardest dayis your 5th birthday. I asked some people how they feel about celebrating it and they don't think its right. I want to celebrate it soooo bad. But I just think that people don't understand me because they don't know how it feels to loose your son. Also they don't understand how you gave birth to your child and now he's gone and just because he can't enjoy a small celebration. That doesn't mean you can't celebrate the most important day in his and my life like his 5th birthday. I will go visit you soon but for now I will be writing to you.
You know that we love you with all our hearts and miss you always! Lots of love to you and I know that I will always have you in my mind and soul.. I love you my sweet cheeks!
carltos i love you so much we miss you and wish you were still with us but thank you for your time and blessing! you are an angel and thats all that matters you are in heavan and your free thank you for your time with us we love you so much.
Hi Carlitos I finally came to visit you on Holy Saturday...You have such a peaceful and quiet spot...Your cousin Alexis also came. We saw your picture your mommy left. Tomorrow is Easter and we all will miss you very much especially your Mommy and Daddy and Jocelyn.They miss you so much especially your mommy It must be sooooo hard for her not to have you here. She is trying to keep busy and takes each day at a time and I'm sure It is very hard for her not to have you by her side even though you are in a better place now doing everything you want to do in heaven..She would rather have you down here with her...Send her a butterfly kiss from heaven!! Send us all a blessing from heaven little angel...Goodnite ,till next time I go visit you, even though I don't go visit you as much as I would like doesn't mean I don' t think about you every day....Keep giving your Mommy the courage she needs everyday to get to the next day and soon develop the desire to start her new normal.. Love you Carlitos Auntie Lupe
WELL THESE DAYS HAVE BEEN VERY WINDY, RAINY, VERY COLD. WE HAVE BEEN WANTING TO GO VISIT YOU BUT THE WEATHER MAKES IT HARD TO GO UP THERE . I KNOW THAT YOU'RE OK BUT I JUST FEEL THE NEED TO GO VISIT YOU. THERE ARE DAYS THAT I FEEL VERY SAD AND LONELY. I KNOW I SHOULD NOT FEEL THAT WAY BECAUSE I STILL HAVE YOUR SISTER AND YOUR DAD. BUT THE BOND WE HAD AND WILL ALWAYS HAVE IS SOOOO BIG THAT ITS HARD TO NOT FEEL LONELY AND SAD. I HAVEN'T WROTE TO YOU BECAUSE I TRY TO KEEP BUSY AND AFTER A WHILE WHEN I WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING ITS TOO LATE AND I'M A LITTLE TIRED. AS THE DAYS GO BY IT FEELS LIKE THE FIRST DAY THAT YOU PASSED AWAY. I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T WANT ME TO FEEL THIS WAY BUT ITS HARD TO GET USE TOO NOT HAVING YOU WITH US. TODAY ITS 1 MONTH THAT YOU PASSED AWAY. I KEEP A CALENDAR WITH THE NOTE OF THE DAY YOU PASSED AWAY AND THE TIME. MANY PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT I'M DOING THAT BUT ITS TRUE. I WILL ALWAYS KEEP A CALENDAR WITH THE NOTE OF YOUR PASSING AWAY. I'M STILL IN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING THAT I CAN DO NOW THAT I HAVE THE TIME. ITS HARD BECAUSE THE ROUTINE THAT I LEARNED WHEN I HAD YOU WITH ME WAS HARD TO MANAGE BUT I WAS ABLE TO DO IT. THE FEELING OF STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN IS JUST SO HARD BECAUSE YOUR LIFE YOU HAD AND GOT USE TOO IS NOW GONE. NOW ALL YOUR LEFT WITH IS THAT YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON BUT ITS NOT AS EASY AS MANY PEOPLE THINK. I KNOW THAT OUR LIFE CHANGED BUT IT WAS FOR A GREAT REASON AND THAT WAS YOU MY PRECIOUS LITTLE ANGEL. IT WAS GREAT THE TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER AND THE MANY HAPPY DAYS WE SHARED TOGETHER. BUT SOMETIMES I THINK INSIDE ME THAT I WASN'T READY FOR YOU TO LEAVE OURSIDE. I STILL HAD THE STRENGH AND THE TIME TO KEEP GOING ON AND I KNOW YOU TOO BUT IN YOUR HEART I KNEW THAT YOU WERE ALREADY TIRED OF THE SUFFERING AND THE PAIN THAT YOU WENT THRU FOR THE PAST 4 AND HALF YEARS. I WISH THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO PREVENT THAT BUT I COULDN'T EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES I TRIED. I WILL TRY TO GO VISIT YOU SOON AND BE THERE FOR A LONG TIME BUT WE WILL SEE HOW THE WEATHER IS BUT IF ITS STILL THE SAME THEN I WILL STILL GO VISIT YOU!!! I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE HAS GONE VISIT YOU BUT IF NOT ITS OK BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THEY ARE BUSY.
I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL MY PRECIOUS LITTLE SON. YOUR DAD AND SISTER ALSO LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND HOPED THAT YOU WERE HERE WITH US!!!
YOUR MY LITTLE ANGEL THAT LETS ME WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND NIGHT AND HOPE AND WISH FOR BETTER DAYS AND NIGHTS TO COME AND KEEP ME ALWAYS STRONG LIKE YOU..... LOVE YOU ALWAYS!!!
Just wanted To Let You Know That We Were Thinking Of You Last Night. You Are Our Little Angel And Our Good Luck Charm. # 19 Is Always Our 1st # that Comes To Mind. That The Day You Were Born And I Will Always Remember. Lucky 19.. Love You Mijo And Miss You Everyday And Every Morning As I See Your Face...
I HAVE REED ALL THE ENTRIES IN YOUR WEBPAGE. SOME ARE LONG AND OTHERS ARE SHORT. BUT KNOWING THAT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE GONE FAMILY MEMBERS STILL SEND THEIR REMARKS TO YOUR WEBPAGE. I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GO VISIT YOU IS BECAUSE ITS BEEN RAINY AND THEN REALLY COLD. BUT I WILL BE GOING TO VISIT YOU SOON WITH YOUR DAD AND SISTER TOO! I'VE BEEN OK THESE DAYS BECAUSE I TRY TO STAY BUSY. I'VE BEEN DOING SOME THINKING OF HOW HONORED I WAS TO BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU! SOMETIMES I STILL HAVE THE NEED TO LOOK AT ALL YOUR MEMORIES I HAVE OF YOU. EVEN ALL YOUR CLOTHES THAT I BOUGHT YOU AND ALL THE LITTLE TOYS THAT I WILL ALWAYS KEEP WITH ME. I WISH THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR BED AND SEE YOU THERE AGAIN. I KNOW THAT'S IMPOSIBLE BECAUSE YOU HAVE GONE TO A BETTER PLACE. BUT IT DOESN'T HURT TO DREAM! I WILL KEEP WRITING TO YOU AND READING ALL THE GOOD THINGS PEOPLE HAVE WROTE ABOUT YOU.
MY LITTLE SWEET CHEEKS WITH YOUR LITTLE FACE THAT MADE MY DAYS FEEL FULL OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS.
MOMMY LOVES YOU AND MISSES YOU LIKE THE VERY FIRST DAYS OF YOUR PASSING AWAY.
OUR BOND IS AN ETERNITY THAT WILL ALWAYS BE FOREVER!!!
Well what can I tell you today. It was a rainy day, didn't stop all day and night. We wanted to go visit you at the cemetary but since it was so rainy we couldn't so we decided to wait until another day. As the days go by its just sooooo hard to get use too you not being by my our side. I sometimes wonder that it wasn't fair that you had to pass away when our bond was sooo special and precious just like you were so special to us. I know you don't want me to be sad but its just sooooo hard knowing that you want me to be happy but in my heart its just sooo hard to do. I know in my heart that from heaven you are with us and watching over us. But I know that you're having funand playing like a normal baby without any pain or worry in the world. I wish that I would still have you and do my regular routine that I had to do to keep you happy and healthy. Many people want me to better myself but its easy to say and they just don't know how its hard to do when you feel that the life you had before got taken away and you're left with nothing but feeling lost, confused. The feeling of having to start all over again from the bottom and work you're self up. I'm trying to grief slowly but its hard because I wished that I would get the chance of taking care of you again. Maybe its confusing to many people to hear this but they just don't understand the dedication and hard work it is to take care of a special little angel like I had the chance to take of you. MY PRECIOUS LITTLE ANGEL AND WILL ALWAYS BE!!
YOUR MOMMY THAT MISSES THE BOND WE HAD TOGETHER!!
I Just Wanted To Wish You A GOOD NIGHT And We Miss You So Much Every Day! Hugs And Kisses Go Out To You In Heaven!! Love You So Much Lil Brother...
Dear Carlitos, I have known your Mommy since the 3rd grade in Haddon Elementary school...then we went threw middle school & high school together... we would go out dancing, have so much fun together... on your Mommie's wedding day I was too sick to attend but, I will never forget that she called me that very morning, she thought of me, "on her wedding day" who doe's that.. A friend... we drifted apart each living our own married life... and a few month's ago started to E-mail & Text eachother again.... a couple of month's before you passed, we talked alot on the phone. your Mommy was so brave, at your side all the time... her heart was so broken but she had to be brave for you... her son....your mommy is not only my friend, she is my inspiration, my hero, from the bottom of my heart, I truly believe she is an Angel that was put on this earth to watch over you and give the unconditional love, each and every day, when thing's wher good and when thing's wher bad....she was chosen.. to take care of you.. Now you get to watch over her... Now you are the Angel Carlito's..... you are truly missed ...
THIS IS MOMMY!!
TODAY I SAW ALL THE ENTRIES THAT YOUR AUNT'S AND SISTER WROTE. THEY WERE VERY TOUCHING AND MADE ME FEEL REALLY GOOD TO KNOW THAT YOUR AUNT'S STILL GO IN YOUR WEB PAGE AND WRITE MESSAGES FOR YOU!
WELL WHAT CAN I TELL YOU. TODAY I WAS HOME FOR ALITTLE LONGER AND I FELT THE LONELYNESS AND SADNESS THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO FEEL. I WAS SO USE TOO DOING THINGS FOR YOU! THE HOUSE FELT SOOO EMPTY KNOWING THAT I CAN'T SEE YOU ! THE FEELING THAT I DID THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE AND HAD TO TAKE A BREAK! CHECK UP ON YOU AND GIVE YOU MEDS AND PLAY WITH YOU. THE WAY I KNEW HOW TO PLAY WITH YOU. THE THINGS THAT THE THERAPISTS TAUGHT YOU WERE THINGS THAT HELPED YOU FEEL LIKE A NORMAL BABY. THAT'S SOMETHING THAT I WILL ALWAYS THANK THEM FOR THEIR HARD WORK AND DETERMINATION. THE THINGS THAT I TAUGHT YOU WERE THINGS THAT FOR ME ARE VERY PRECIOUS AND SPECIAL AND I WILL NEVER FORGET! AS YOU KNOW MY ROUTINE FOR RIGHT NOW IS GOING TO GRANDMAS HOUSE AND TRY TO GET DISTRACTED SO I JUST DON'T STAY HOME AND THINK OF THINGS THAT YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU ARE GONE ALREADY!! I TRY NOT TO THINK OFF SAD THINGS BUT SOMETIMES ITS KIND OF HARD TO DO! I KNOW THAT WHERE YOU ARE NOW IS FULL OFF HAPPINESS AND JOY. NOW YOU CAN PLAY, DO THE THINGS THAT YOU COULDN'T DO BEFORE AND HAVE A REGULAR LIFE AS A NORMAL BABY! NOT HAVE TO GO THRU ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAT YOU HAD TO GO THRU TO BE ABLE TO BE HEALTHY! I'M JUST HAPPY THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THRU THE LONG HOSPITAL STAYS AND THE POKING HERE AND THERE JUST TO DO CERTAIN THINGS! I KNOW THAT ONE DAY YOU WILL GIVE ME THE STRENGH TO GO ON AND FIND MYSELF A NEW ROUTINE AND HAVE YOU FEEL REALLY PROUD OF YOUR MOMMY. BUT FOR NOW I'M TAKING IT DAY BY DAY AND HOPE FOR BETTER DAYS AND NIGHTS!
I MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH MY SWEET CHEEKS AND WILL ALWAYS DO!!
LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL!!! MOMMY!
I MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND AM SAD THAT YOU PASSED AWAY.I MISS THE WAY YOU USED TO SMILE SOMETIMES AND IMISSYOU ALWAYS BEING HERE WITH US EVERY DAY.I ALSO MISS YOUR CUTE LITTLE FACE.I WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU AND HAVE YOU IN MY HEART.
LOVE YOUR BIG SISTER,
Hi Carlitos, Every Morning When I Come To Work You Are The 1st Pop Up I See And Sometimes I Smile And Say " Good Morning Carlitos" And Other Times I Just Catch My Self Seeing Your Face And Smiling. We Miss You So Much And Wish You Were Here With Us.I Went To Visit You With Your Mommy,Daddy,Sister And Cousin And It Was So Nice.You Have Such A Nice Spot Under A Big Tree!! I Can Picture You Climbling It And Sitting Right Above Us As We Talk To You At Your Grave. Your Cousins Ask About You All The Time And Always Say A Prayer For You. You Are Our Angel And Our Little Brother. We Miss You So Much And Wish You Were Here To Hug, Kiss And Say" Hi Carlitos"..Your Mommy Loves You So Much And Will Never Forget You. You Were Such A Special Little Boy With Such A Strong Heart. She Did The Best For you And Your Sister. Alice Always Remeber That Even Though He Is Not Hear! He Will Always Be In Your Heart,Mind And Soul. He Is Our Angel In The SKY.. Your Lil Angel For A While, But Your Guardian Angel FOREVER..
Hi Carlitos Im sorry I haven't been able to go see you..You know your Auntie Lupe always running around but I will go see your grave soon..I read your Mommy;s entries and I can only imagine the special bond you guys had..She misses you so much!!!You were such a special little boy to have a great Mommy that took care of you with such great devotion,,I know that if you could tell her something it would be THANK YOU MOMMY! and I know that you would want her to start to feel less sad....because you are her special angel and you are now the one who watches over her and wants her to be happy...I know your Mommy will be ok soon.. She will always miss you but hopefully with time she can begin her next chapter in her life with you giving her the inspiration and light for her future..She was a great nurse to you...and your Mommy was meant for greater things...I know it!! I LOVE U SISTER!! and will always be here for you when you need someone to talk to..
I know I haven't wrote anything but I went to visit your grave. Yesterday we wanted to go visit but it was raining. But today we went even though it was very cold up there we still went. Your sister took you a wind mill to put on your grave. The visit wasn't very long because it was extremely cold and windy there. But next time we go we will be there longer. Today I still feel sad even though I know you aren't here with us. The thing that bothers me is that I can't see you, carry you when I could, be able to take care of you, do the things I had to do to keep you healthy. I miss you very very much and can't get use too being by myself when your dad and sister leave to work and school. I know your dad and sister miss you. But the way I miss you is something that people don't understand. Our time together felt like a lifetime that I think it shouldn't have ended so soon. I still think of all the good times we had even though I think we had more bad but to me the only thing that mattered was the good ones. I know I have a lot of pictures and memories of you but those pictures and memories can't fill the times we had you by ourside. Those times that we gave you all the love and happiness that we could give you. Sometimes I lay in bed and I just wished you were here with us and have more time with you. At night I wish I could hear your cough, phlem again and have to get up manytimes . I know that its imposible for that to happen again. But I wished that I could! Mommy is just sooo sad that I'm not able to take care of you like I did when you were hear. We went thru many obsticles but I never even thought of giving up! Your strengh that you had gave me all the strengh I needed to fight this battle until the end. It was very long but it didn't matter to me! I MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND LOVE YOU ALWAYS!
THIS IS MOMMY!
I'M WRITING TO YOU BECAUSE THIS IS THE WAY THAT I FEEL GOOD. BUT SOMETIMES THAT I WRITE I GET VERY EMOTIONAL BECAUSE I WISH I COULD WRITE THESE FEELINGS AND THEN LOOK AT YOUR BED AND SEE YOU THERE. THE SAD THING IS THAT I CAN'T SEE YOU ANYMORE. THAT FEELING OF SADNESS IS THE ONE THAT'S VERY HARD TO MANAGE AND BE ABLE TO FEEL BETTER AS TIME GOES BY. MY HEART AND SOUL ARE VERY TORN APART BECAUSE YOU WERE A VERY BIG PART OF MY LIFE. I KNOW THAT HALF OF MY LIFE IS YOUR SISTER AND THE OTHER ONE WAS YOU. BUT NOW I FEEL THAT THE PART THAT WAS YOU IS GONE AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER KNOWING THAT HALF OF MY LIFE IS MISSING. AS THE DAYS GO BY I TRY TO BE STRONG BUT SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T. AS THE NIGHTS GO BY I DON'T HAVE TO BE STRONG BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN I'M ABLE TO LET OUT MY FEELINGS BY CRYING AND LOOKING AT YOUR MEMORIES. MANY PEOPLE ASK HOW I'M DOING AND I SAY I'M FINE BUT REALLY I'M NOT. I TELL PEOPLE THAT BECAUSE IF I TELL THEM THAT I'M NOT THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL ME. THAT'S SOMETHING THAT I TRY TO FIND AN ANSWER TO AND I JUST CAN'T! MY LIFE RIGHT NOW IS SO HARD BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO THAN GO TO MY MOMS HOUSE AND HOPE FOR THE TIME AND DAYS GO BY. I THINK AS TIME GOES BY MY FEELINGS ARE GOING TO BE THE SAME BECAUSE THE BOND WE HAD WAS BIGGER THAN WORDS CAN EXPLAIN AND THAT'S GOING TO BE A CHALLENGE. I WILL WRITE TO YOU EVERYTIME I'M FEELING SAD OR JUST FEEL THE NEED TO SEE YOU AND HOPE FOR A LITTLE MORE TIME TO BOND WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT HERE WITH ME!
YOUR MOMMY THAT WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND WILL NEVER EVER FORGET YOU!
This is mommy! I miss you everyday! Especially in the morning since your sometimes smile would make my day. And knowing I would be getting up to take care of you and your daily meds and milk was my routine of the morning. In the afternoon was the same with meds but during all this time our bond would grow bigger and bigger. And towards the night was even more special because even though you had a long routine of meds and other things I managed to keep everything under control. And now that your gone to a better place with less pain and hurt I just miss you! My feelings towards that is just filled with happiness but also sadness. I just miss the routine of doing things that would keep you healthy. My life was you for 4 1/2 years of meds and milk and many other things. I'm just not use too waking up in the mornings and checking up on you when you were at the hospital and when you were not that phlem and cough that I had to control with meds. But once I knew how to control it you had better days and nights. I just don't know how long its going to take me to get use too not doing all those things and especially not having you by my side and feeling that now that you are gone my life I had with you has ended . I just know that everything I did and decided for you was what I thought was best for you. So I know now that when you left you went peacefully and that makes me feel that I did all I could and more! I'm just happy I got the chance of taking care of a really special little angel and I will always be proud of being your MOMMY! LOVE YOU ALWAYS NOW AND FOREVER.....MOMMY!!
I am a friend of your sister, Lupe and have been following your brave battle for a long time. I am so sorry for your loss but what a lucky little boy to have such a loving, devoted family. I know there are no words to ease your pain...I so wish there were. But your beautiful little boy will always be part of your heart and fill it in a very special way. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
This is mommy. I write to you because this is the way I feel good and also go visit your grave. Yesterday was a short visit but todays was longer visit to your grave. It was mommy,daddy,sister,cousin tiffany, auntie evelyn that gave you a longer visit. Today we were talking about how beautiful your grave looks and how it will still be beautiful once we keep adding flowers and plants to your grave. Even though I go visit you I can't stop the feeling of you not being by our side. Your sounds you would do and looks that made me feel proud of you even though you really didn't do much but knowing you were here with us made us full of joy. You will always be missed now and forever! Much Love Mommy!
Our deepest,deepest condolences to all of you.......little Carlitos was an extremely lucky little boy to have had parents as dedicated to him and his well being as you were.....we will continue to keep you in our prayers and thoughts......just take comfort in knowing that now he will be able to do all those with our Father that he wasn't able to do here on Earth.
Sergio & Olga Terrazas
This is mommy just thinking of you day and night. The day of the funeral I was really lost and confused because I knew that days before your funeral I was nervous but at the same time happy because I would be able to see you one more time. But then the day came for the burial and I was torn apart to see you in your casket. I just wanted to carry you and bring you home but I knew that it was impossible because you were gone already . After everything finished I felt so empty inside because I know I won't be able to see you. The next couple of days or weeks are going to be hard since your sister goes to school and daddy starts work again I have nothing to do since for the past 4 yrs I was your nurse that gave you meds and milk and fed you and bathe you too. I'm just wondering of how long its going to take me to be able to do things without you since that was my life for 4 yrs! But hopefully I get the strengh to over come this painful challenge and go ahead with my life and make you proud of me. My sweet cheeks! You know that mommy daddy and big sister will miss you truly and never forget about you because you will always be in our hearts and dreams! Love you always mommy daddy and big sister
This is your mommy writing to you! I will always love you and have you in my heart soul and mind. The 4 and a half yrs I took care of you were the most memorable and and exciting of my life. I enjoyed the time we had together as mommy and son. I know that I did the best I could to keep you healthy and out of the hospital. I feel that I did my best to give you everything you needed from the beginning to the end. Even though I knew you were my special little angel that showed me a lot of things that I didn't know before. You had a special gift that made me your daddy and sister feel like we had a treasure in our life. You will always be my sweet cheeks and my precious little angel ! I know that you are happy now and will no longer have pain but just lots of love. Your sister daddy and mommy know that you are having fun now and enjoying a normal life that before we tried to give you but sometimes we had some obsticles in our way. But after going thru a lot of obsticles in our way we manage to beat each and every one of them. But after fighting for so long I felt that you were just so tired and needed a rest from all the suffering pain and hurt that you had to go thru . I now know that what I felt was right for you was what I knew made you happy. I will always always love you your sister and daddy very much. We will always have you in our hearts souls and mind and know you are watching us and blessing us from heaven ! Your Mommy that loves you, your sister and daddy with more than words can say! Love you always and Forever MOMMY!!
carlitos, our precious little angel! We were very blessed to have you in our family. Even though, we had you for a very short time, we realized how special you were. God was missing a very special angel, thats why you are now in heaven. I know you will forever watch over us as our guardian angel. There will forever be a special place in our hearts for you. We Love You! And Will Never Forget You! from your auntie Raquel Sanchez
Our deepest sympathies are with you and your family after hearing of your recent loss.
If we can be of any help throughout this difficult time, please just let us know.
With all my love...
Our prayers and most deepest sympathy goes out to your family... may god help you find comfort during this difficult time.....
Take comfort in knowing that now you have a special guardian angel to watch over you.
I love you so much you will always be in my heart even though you are not here you are my angel i can see you in my dreams love you, may god bless you...Love your cousin Alexis Ortiz
No bond is as great as that between a parent and child. My deepest condolences are with you as you grieve.
This Candle Of Love Will Never Burn Out As Long As We Keep You In Our Hearts!!
Love You Always and Miss you.
May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.
Carlitos we miss you so much... love tiffany and kady hernandez
Carlitos you were born an angel and now you are our guardian angel..We Love You very much and will miss you..You will always be in our hearts..Love Auntie Lupe
Carlitos, Mommy and Daddy and Big Sister miss you sooooo much. We loved all the good times that we had with you. You gave us soooo much joy and happiness in our life. We cherished all the times you gave us a smile, cooing and other beautiful things that made us feel full of life. All the times we carried you and we gave you lots of hugs and kisses made us feel that the times with you were special and precious. You were the light in our eyes that brightend up our days and nights. You will always be in our hearts and souls because we know that you are in a better place where there is no more pain, hurt, or suffering. We feel that we gave you all the love and happiness we could to make you feel loved all the time. The 4 yrs you gave us were memorable and precious. We will miss you soooo much. " WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER."
From: Mommy Daddy and Big Sister
I Love You So Much And Miss You. I Am So Sorry That I Was Not Always There For You!! Your Cousins Love You And Miss You Too. We Will Miss You So Much And One Day We Will All Meet Again. I Will Always Rememer You And Keep You In My Heart And Mind. No More Pain,Suffering Only Happy Thoughts.. My Lil Boy, Be Happy,Run,Walk,Talk And Remeber Us Always And Watch Over Us As We Pray For You.
I just wanted to extend my condolences. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and your Family. May you find Peace and comfort that your little Angel is with all of God's Angels in heaven... For one day we will all see are maker and You will be reunited with your Baby again. Peace & Love Friend of Evelyn