Another Christmas without you is upon us son. Somehow it seems more difficult than ever and I didn't think that was possible.
I try to keep my thoughts and grief over your passing tucked away in a corner of my mind but they have a way of constantly moving to the forefront.
In my lone moments at home, in the car, just about anywhere, your image is there. I cry alone and try to pull things together to face life.
You would be proud of me as I carry on. No one knows the true pain and sadness that your death has left in my heart.
Your family all miss and love you.
The other day I saw your special ornament on Sarah and Lillian's tree. How sad your little girl only knows you in pictures. She would be your pride and joy just as you were and are mine. " My golden child ".
Please watch over all of us and we will feel your presence at our Christmas table. I have no answers as to why you were taken from us when you had your whole life ahead of you. One day I hope to have all questions answered and see your beautiful smile again.
Love you with all my heart, forever,
August 10th 2016
It has been three years today since you left us Paul Des. Three full years without your smile, your laugh and your hugs ..... seems incredible.
We miss you so very much and that will never change. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would in an instant.
Since you died there is a little white butterfly that seems to always be around me, especially in my lowest moments, sitting outside or looking out the window or even stopped at a light. I like to think that is a sign from you telling me it is okay Mom. Sometimes I even say out loud, hi son and thank you, when I see it. That may sound a little crazy but it gives me a bit of comfort in the moment.
I know i will see you again but till then please take care of that piece of my heart you took with you.
Love you eternally, Mom.
Dear Brenda & family
Please know I think about you all very often.
Time heals, yet it does not mend. We soldier on because that is what both Paul's want for you. Brenda your grandchild is Paul. Paul's beatiful wife knows this as well. There is some comfort in that. We think we are in control but in reality we are pawns on a chess board.are next move can be great or perhaps it's are final act as the curtain of are life is unveiled to the heavens above.
We here the pawns with no control accept our lot because we have no choice. Brenda please try your best to carry on with a lighter heart. The Paul's in your life are with you and love you and their famalies with their whole being. If God be with us who can be against us.brenda I will pray many hail Mary's today in my nind for paul and paul to touch the hearts and minds of your entire family so that inner peace is within us all. I love you Brenda Caley for you are good as are your family. I love them as well. Amen
July 30th. 2016
Today you would have been 36, my son. This all still seems so unreal to me. It hurts so much not to have you here. Your birthday comes and goes but there is no reason to celebrate. You are in my heart and on my mind today, as you are every day of the year, My love for you is eternal and time cannot diminish the emptiness that your loss leaves in my heart. I love and miss you so very much, Till we meet again ...... mom.
Another Christmas without you is upon us my son. You are so dearly loved and missed.
Your little girl, that you never met, is 2 now. She asks me to open the locket that I wear, she says 'Daddy' and kisses your picture. It is bitter/sweet Paul Des, but I know you are watching over her.
Please hold tightly the piece of my heart that you took with you so that when we meet again, it will be whole.
Today,December 18th, your dad's birthday I see you sitting together, reunited and smiling upon us. I look forward to embracing you both when I am called home.
You are always in my heart, thoughts and prayers. My love for you is eternal.
August 10th, 2015
Oh my beautiful son, Paul Desmond ... two years have passed since we lost you. I didn't think it could get any harder but apparently, I was wrong. My heart bleeds constantly. I love and miss you so very much. I pray for strength to deal with your absence every day. I will always love you and your memory remains always in my heart, mind and very soul. Your Mom
"A Pair of Shoes"
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think
about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Once more we read your entry into the book of remembrance for Paul Des. With each birthday comes the pain of not seeing your beloved son. May the thoughts and prayers of those who care and love you Brenda, bring you a small measure of comfort as you continue to hold this pain in your heart.
Jim and Mary and family
This picture was taken July 30, 1980, the day I met the beautiful little boy I carried under my heart for nine months. Paul Desmond, my son, you remain in that heart, now broken, until the day we meet again. I will love you through eternity.
My dearest Paul Des
There are no words to express my heartache at the loss of you my wonderful handsome nephew and godchild.
I think about you everyday and your Mum and I talk about you all the time.
Until we meet again.
Love always Aunty Joan
August 10th, 2014
My beloved son, my "golden child" as your brothers and sister teased you, how can a year have passed since we lost you.
It is truly enigmatic that this year, that has passed so quickly, has been the longest and hardest year of my life.
No mother should ever have to bury a child. I carried you under my heart for nine months and that same heart was broken a year ago, never to be whole again. Who could ever have imagined that something like this could happen.
Your little girl Lillian is beautiful. If I close my eyes, I can see you holding her so proudly.
You would have been such a wonderful father. We will make sure that she knows all about the kind, gentle, loving man her daddy was.
I love you son. I miss you so very much. I am comforted to know you are at peace with your dad, your grandparents and your uncle.
I know I will see you again son.
Until then, please know you will always be my "golden child".
Thinking of you Brenda and family
Love and prayers
Jim and Mary expressed
the feelings of all of us that love and care about you and your great family
Please kiss Lily on the forehead for me and tell her there are people out there that love her who have never met her
Today we read your entry Brenda, in Paul Des' book of remembrance on his first birthday without him. We hear in your words the pain of loss which with each passing day becomes deeper with the reality of the void Paul Des has left. The day you first looked upon his beautiful face remains with you forever for you are a mother. May your faith uphold you in this valley of tears and in that faith God will give you the strength and the grace to endure. You and your family are never out of our thoughts and prayers. May Lily with her beautiful smile and her innocent love bring to you a peace that only a child can give. She is so much like her daddy, that through her, he will live forever for you until you meet him again.
Jim and Mary
July 30th, 2014
Today would have been your 34th birthday my son and it is so incredibly difficult to face this day without you.
If tears, prayers and thoughts could change the events that took you from us,you would be here.
Sadly, that is not how it works and we are left with this unbearable emptiness and sorrow.
Nothing changes the fact that we love you and carry you in our hearts always.
Your little girl Lillian is a precious gift to us. She looks like you son.
Please watch over her and all of those who lost a piece of their hearts when you took them with you.
Brenda I lost your number
To the entire Caley family,
I am so saddened to learn of Paul's passing. Please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers (indeed, as you all have been for many years)
Please know you and yours are not alone
Many people quietly pray to the Lord our God for you and your family
Brenda you and your children now fantastic adults will get yourselves through it because you have no choice
Pauls little child soon to be born will bring great joy to his wife, grandparents, aunts and uncles et,al
We love you Brenda never forget that.
All your children and daughter on laws are are also loved
Brenda please call me at 416-992-8567 and leave me your number
My beautiful son .... so kind, gentle and loving. You took a part of me with you.
Every breath I take without you here is truly a struggle. I am no longer the 'me' that was ... I am forever changed. I look where you should be and see only a gaping hole.
Your death has not only left devastation in its wake ... but denied the world a wonderful human being, a man of integrity and compassion.
A son, a husband, a father to be, a brother, an uncle, a nephew, a cousin, a friend .. you were all of these and you are gone. We grieve and try to put some of the shattered pieces back together as best we can. The sadness is overwhelming for those left behind.
I love and miss you more than words can express and I look forward to the day I will see you once more.
From the many Paul touched at the Toronto Zoo, we'd like to say "thank you" for letting us get to know such a quality person.
Paul brightened many days, made many connections and left an impression on all who knew him.
Please accept our deepest condolences.
Paul, your laugh and kind soul will be engrained into my mind forever. Your love for your family and Sarah is inspirational, and I pray they never doubt it. I am honoured to be able to call you a friend. We'll meet again soon, and the laughs will continue once more. I'll never forget you, I miss you polywog.
In memory of Paul and your dad
Please think of some public service that we could all do even once a year
Like clean up a park or something like tat where fifty or sixty people could gather in Pauls honour
This way the children could see just how much Paul was loved
I feel for you Jamie, i
Really do along with your entire family
Jamie my e mail is attached and shall you ever wish to talk I am there for you
Paul I miss you more then I thought possible. A piece of me is gone with you. I want you to know I will always be there for your Lillian I promise she will know how kind and gentle her daddy was. You will always be loved and never forgotten. Your little bro jamie
Dear Caley family,
We were very saddened to hear of the tragic death of Paul. He has left you all much too soon. I expect that he will watch over you as his dad watched over his family. May God bless you with strength over the difficult days ahead and may your loving memories bring you comfort.
Therese (Smith), Ed, Faith and Jack Liston
My dear nephew and godson Paul Des, my heart is broken. Other than your mum and dad I was the first of the family to welcome you into this world. You were the most beautiful baby and I watched with pride as you became the most kind, quiet and considerate young man. My tears are for myself as I know you are with your Dad and all the family we have lost.
I will carry you in my heart until we meet again.
Love always Auntie Joan
Brenda and family, we are so sorry to hear of Paul's passing at such a young age. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Michael and Cathy Smith
Brenda and family,
We are very saddened to hear of your loss and would like to express our sincere condolences. Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.
Love, Mary-Anne (Smith), Michael & Michelle Gardner
Very sorry to hear of the passing of Paul. I remember him as always happy and a great guy to be around. My condolences to the families.
To the Caley Family,
I am so deeply sorry to hear about Paul's passing. I have only the fondest memories of the fun-loving, hilarious, mischievous, and sensitive 18 year old I had the pleasure of knowing, however briefly. To me, Paul was larger than life, and had a twisted sense of humour that matched my own. I have always had a special place in my heart for him- always will- and I hope your family can take some solace in knowing that he affected so many, even those he knew for a short time.
Dear Caley family,
My heart is broken over the passing of Paul. He was a man of real integrity who understood that the true meaning of life lies in the relationship you have with your family and the care you give to the people in it. He had a truly kind soul, which can be rare to find in this world.
He was taken from you much to young .. which is close to unbearable. But I believe in the strength of your family and I know you will get through this difficult time. You are all very dear to me, and I find the courage you have shown over the past week and I know you will continue to show, truly inspirational.
Jordan and I will be here for you always.Thank you for showing me what strength, courage and a united family really looks like. I love you all very much xo
Brenda, there are no words to express how deeply sorry I am for you and your family with the passing of your beloved son. May your memories of Paul give you some peace and comfort at this difficult time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Dear Brenda, Tara, Jamie, Billy & Sarah,
Words cannot express the pain we feel at the passing of Paul Desmond; but we do have something to say.
Paul's untimely death emphasizes the fact that we should live each and every day to the fullest extent possible while appreciating the presence of persons, past and present, who enrich our lives.
Paul lived his thirty-three years well but not nearly long enough.We will miss his shy smile and warm hugs; yet, periodically, we will feel Paul's presence and cherish his memory always.
There are no words to express my deepest condolences at this difficult time. I just want you to know that his Uncle Des talked about Paul all the time and loved him dearly! Paul was a kind sweet boy and I know that Des met him with open arms! My thoughts and prayers are with you always.
Tara, Scott and family, our deepest condolences to all of you during this very sad and difficult time. Our thoughts are with you.
Dearest cousin Paul Des,
Since you'll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today
A hollowed place within my heart
Is where you'll always stay.
Tara, Scott & Family
So Sorry to hear of your brothers passing Tara. Our hearts and prayers are with you. Love from the Bilson Family
We are sending you our most sincere condolences to William and every other family member of Paul. Loosing a son, a brother, a husband is so hard. May our deepest thoughts and prayers be with you. Family of J.P. : Brigitte, Yvan, Bernard , Marie-Pierre, Ad
Tara, Scott & family
Words cannot express how sorry we are to hear of your brothers passing. Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. May you and your family hold all the precious memories of him close to your hearts.
Uncle Ron & Aunt Nancy (Exeter, Ontario)
Dear Sarah and family, our thoughts and prayers are with all of you at this difficult time. With our deepest sympathy, The Law Family
Deepest sympathies on the passing of Paul. Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this sad time.
Dear Tara & Family.
Our thoughts are with all of you at this very sad time.You will always hold dear the precious memories of Paul close in your hearts.
Maura & Ian Emerson
Dear Sarah and family,
We send many thoughts and prayers to you and the family on Pauls passing, His smile and dry sense of humour will be missed at our Jeffrey gatherings
I want you to know how much I loved you and how much you were loved by everyone around you. I enjoyed all of the time I was able to spend with you, and remember especially the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners we were able to share together with our family and loved ones.
I look back fondly at the rounds of golf we played together. I hope all the rounds you play from this moment on will be easy Par 3s.
You will be missed dearly.
Sarah, we were so sorry to hear about Paul's passing. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers at this time.
With our deepest sympathy - Joe and Ted Kapuscinski
Deepest sympathies to Paul Des' wife and all family members on his passing. So sad beyong words.... We will remember Paul as the quiet, reserved child and the kindly adult man he was in life. May God grant him peace and the company of his other family members who have gone on before him. God Love Him.
No words can describe how sorry we were to hear of the loss of your brother Paul. You will be in our thoughts and prayers. Our deepest sympathies to the family.
Rod & Rose smith
Sorry to here of Paul's sudden passing. Our thoughts are with you during this difficult time. Paul and I had great talk's at Indepenant Glass and I will miss those chats. This is a sad day but he lives on in all of us in many ways!
Tara & family,
Please accept my sincere sympathy on the loss of your brother. Know that with God's help you will make it through this difficult time. I am praying that God will give you the hope and strength you need.
May God Bless You.
So sorry to hear about Paul's passing. Our deepest condelences to all. May you find some light through this dark time.
So sorry to hear of Paul's passing, my thoughts and condolences are with Sarah and his family.
Our deepest condolences to Sarah, Brenda and the family. Our thoughts are with you all at this sad time.
Paul will be sadly missed by all.
I sit here wondering how this could have happened to someone who was so loved. These past few days have been filled with unimaginable pain, but have also been lifted with fond memories of one amazing individual.
To my extended family; Sarah, Brenda, Tara, Jamie, Billy, Scott, Anne, Taylor Rose & Brooke. There are no words I can offer that will make this any easier. I can only give my love and support to a family that has welcomed me with open arms from the minute I came into your lives. Paul left this world knowing he was loved and left his love in all of our hearts. Cherish the memories you have all made together.
Paul Des, I will always remember you as a man that did his best he could for his family. You were a very caring, kind & compassionate person who will be forever missed. May you rest in peace.
Until we meet again my Brother...
Dearest Sarah, Brenda, Jamie, Tara, Billy, Scott, Anne, Taylor Rose & Brooke,
It is with a heavy heart that we send our deepest condolences. May you find strength & peace through each other & through the memories of Paul.
With sincere love & sympathy,
David, Nadine & Lyla Mazerolle
Dearest Brenda and family
I just happened to see this tragic news in the star this evening
I am so sorry for your loss of Paul
I can not even find a word, Brenda I am so sorry and I wish I could take some of your families pain and place it on my my shoulders
I am so sorry for you all
. This Caley family has had more than its share of grief
God bless you all
Our deepest sympathies to Brenda, Tara, Jaime, Billy, and Sarah in this difficult time. We wish you peace and courage in the days ahead and hope that the outpouring of love for each of you and for Paul brings you some comfort. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
My deepest sympathy to Mom, Tara, James and William. I remember you all from St Margaret d'Youville. May God bless you all. Madame Huneault( french teacher)
My deepest condolences to all family members. May the wonderful memories of Paul sustain you and bring you peace.
My deepest sympathy to all the Caley family. My prayers are with you at this sad time and may the happy memories you cherish help you through these days.
I am so very sorry for the tremendous loss of Paul. I didn't know him as an adult but he was a lovely boy. My deepest condolences to Brenda, Tara and family. Pat Andrus-Oliver
Dear Auntie Brenda... a mother should never have to bury her child. We cannot imagine the pain you must feel. Paul was a beautiful man who was a credit to you. To Tara, Jamie and Billy our hearts ache for you to lose your big brother. To Sarah our hearts ache for you. You've lost your husband and best friend just when you thought you had all the best things in life ahead of you. Thank you so much for making us a part of your wedding and giving us cherished memories of a very happy Paul Des. Hopefully it's a comfort to know that his dad is right there beside him. Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this tragic time.
I feel incredibly blessed that I was able to reconnect with my cousin Paul at a family reunion earlier this summer. Although we only spent a few hours together it was easy to see that he was a kind and gentle man who cherished his wife and family. My family and I would like to send our deepest condolences to Aunt Brenda, Sarah, Tara, Jamie and Billy. Rest in peace Paul.
Margaret, Jim, Emily and Michael Prince
Our deepest sympathies Caley family.
Our thoughts are with you.
Jessica and Ryan Jarvis
Our deepest condolence to Sarah and the Caley family
Pace Technical Services
It is with deep sadness that we mourn the loss of your beloved Paul. We cannot begin to comprehend the depth of your grief and pray that you will find the comfort and strength from the loving support of others to face the days to come. Paul was such a gentle soul who will be missed by all those who had the privilege of knowing him. May he now find eternal rest with his dad. With our deepest condolences
Uncle Jim and Auntie Mary and family
Our deepest condolence to Sarah and the Caley family. Paul was an amazing person who we all will miss dearly. Gino and Jackie Sgovio
So very sorry to hear about Paul's passing.. Our thoughts and prayers are with Sarah and her entire family. RIP Paul....
My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.
To All the Caley Family and There Friends
We are very sorry to here about your loss . Our Thought and Prayers are with you All at this very sad time
Paul & Helen Bevis
There are no words that can describe how sorry we are to learn of Paul's tragic passing. Please know that we are praying you find peace and comfort through family and friends to ease your sorrow during this difficult time.
Rest in peace Paul with your father.
We were so very shocked and saddened to hear of the tragic passing of Paul Des. We are sorry that we are unable to be with you at this time, but know you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Words fall short of expressing my sorrow.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but
LOVE leaves a memory no one can steal.
There is no doubt in my mind that God opened the gates of heaven in celebration of the arrival of Paul Des, with tears of joy Paul Caley embraced his son as he welcomed him home, and Nanny, Papa and Uncle Des were right behind awaiting their turn.
Paul Des may be gone from site but never from my heart.
Until we meet again.
Your loving cousin.
My deepest sympathy to Sarah, Brenda, and the entire Caley Family on your sad loss. Rest in peace Paul, beside your dad. Forever in our hearts!
My dear friend Sarah, I am very sorry to hear about Paul's passing. He was a wonderful man and it was a pleasure meeting him the few times I did. I saw how happy and in love you were with him and I am very sorry for your loss. I hope your beautiful memories and all those years of happiness bring you strength and comfort at this time. You are in my heart huny.
To the Caley family, I am very sorry for your loss. Paul was a very sweet, friendly, kind man. He will be remembered to me as the man who brought my friend so much love and happiness.
Thinking of you all in my thoughts and heart.
Dear Brenda, Tara, Jamie and Billy. Lynda and I just happened to see the notice of Paul Des's passing this morning and cannot express deeply enough how sorry we are to hear this sad news. We still fond memories of many visits with you all when we lived in Whitby. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.
To the entire Caley Family, my heart felt condolences go out to you after the tragic passing of Paul Jr. May he rest in peace with his Dad, now and fovever. You are all in our thoughts and prayers.
Paul Des, my heart is broken. The words to express my sadness are lost. Ours was an unspoken but knowing love. You were a man of few words like your father. What an honour and blessing for us to have you in our family. What a loss for the world.
May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be ever at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Your loving cousin.
We were so deeply saddened to learn of Paul's tragic passing. May time, courage and memories get you through this most difficult period. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Mike and Lynne Morrison
Paul Des, I remember the day I first met you and your mom and dad let me hold you on my lap. I remember being so happy to finally have a real cousin that I could play with. I love you so very much, and I will always remember our times together. You will forever be the epitomy of what a gentleman should be. Rest in Peace Paul Des.... I will miss you dearly.