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Handy Withers Jr.

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Morehouse College

Handy Withers Obituary

Handy Withers Jr.

Handy Withers Jr. departed this life unexpectedly on Wednesday, Jan. 6, 2010, in Lynchburg. He was born Dec. 11, 1942, to Handy and M. Helen Taylor Withers, who both predeceased him.

He is survived by siblings, Lucille Withers Deane of Lynchburg and Wistar M. Withers of Centreville; niece, Lillian H. Green of Lowell, Mass.; maternal aunt, Rosetta T. Austin of Lynchburg; lifelong neighborhood friends, Mae Swain and daughter, Dot, of Lynchburg and Willa Miller Humber of Washington, D.C.; former employer and devoted friend, Joan Helpern of New York City; and a host of relatives and friends which include classmates from Dunbar High School, Lynchburg, and Morehouse College, Atlanta, Ga.

A funeral service will be conducted at 1 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 14, 2010, at Jackson Street United Methodist Church, 901 Jackson St., in Lynchburg with the Rev. Quentin Lawson officiating. Interment will be in the Taylor Family Cemetery in Gladys. The family is receiving friends one hour prior to the service. The cortege will assemble at the church.

Community Funeral Home is assisting the family.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorial contributions be made to the Helen T. Withers Memorial Scholarship Fund, c/o Jackson Street UMC, P.O. Box 3374, Lynchburg, VA 24503, or the Legacy Project, c/o The Legacy Museum of African American History, 403 Monroe St., Lynchburg, VA 24504.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by The News & Advance on Jan. 12, 2010.

Memories and Condolences
for Handy Withers

58 Entries

Carolyn Ennis

November 26, 2017

To Handys friends and family- Id been trying to find out how Handys hotel plans had gone, and somehow didnt manage to relocate him until now. We met years ago in Egypt, where Handy visited and helped refugees. He was such an inspiration, as a volunteer and a wise human being, and I often recall his good advice and example, from which I learned so much. His memory will certainly live on, I can only say that I feel honored and blessed to have known him.

Eleanor Traubman

July 20, 2010

I had the pleasure of knowing Handy while working at the Brooklyn Children's Museum. We often ate lunch at the same time in the break room. We had so many good conversations and I loved hearing about the richness of his life. He was a steady presence at the Museum and I was always happy to see him. After I was affected by the November 2009 round of layoffs, Handy sent me a wonderful email about the importance of going after what I was passionate about. I feel blessed to have known Handy. My deepest condolences to his family.

Handy at rest

Jean-Marie Mayas

June 1, 2010

Dear Lucille and Wister,

My wife and I had the deepest human pleasure of meeting Handy first by extensive email and then at his property in Bahia where we stayed 10 days -- what a uniquely memorable experience in time and space. I took the photograph I have posted to the guest book and wanted so much to send it to him (don't know where he would have put it given his extensive collection!).

This is how we will remember Handy, savoring a moment of quiet after serving breakfast and seeing his guests off to their morning treks. A cigarette and then rest.

Rest, our friend, rest.

Jean-Marie and Alison Mayas, Silver Spring, MD (USA)

Paul Richards

March 9, 2010

Today I was googling for Handy in order to get back in touch with him and, with great sadness, I came across this obituary.

My partner and I met Handy at A casa das Portas Velhas, his hotel in Salvador da Bahia, Brazil. We stayed for ten days or so and in that time struck up a friendship with Handy. He was a true host, making sure that we were comfortable and happy but never intruding. He was unfailingly kind to and understanding of his Brazilian staff, who were not really used to working in a boutique hotel environment and needed a lot of attention. The staff were also kind and friendly, due in great measure to the atmosphere that Handy established. My partner is Brazilian and she and the staff used to laugh at Handy's Portuguese, a language into which he threw himself with as much enthusiasm as he did everything, but with sometimes erratic and amusing results. He was, however, respected for the attempt and the laughs were those of kindness and gratitude, not mockery.

My best memories of Handy are the long conversations we had over breakfast each morning and a long dinner by the lake in the centre of Salvador, underneath the Mangabeira Stadium, looking at the statues of the orixas in the distance. We talked about the hazards of trying to set up a business in Brazil, his work with refugees and his fashion career in New York. He seemed to have lived at least three lives where most people manage only one.

He was in the process of selling the hotel when we visited and he was concerned to make sure that the staff who had been with him for a long time and their families were provided for. I hope that he succeeded. The hotel website shows pictures of the lounge still with the furniture and ornaments from his New York apartment.

My reason for wanting to contact him was to let him know that my partner and I are going to have a daughter. I am sad that he never knew. It has been rare for me to meet someone for such a short time who left such a lasting impression.

He told us of his plans for when he left Brazil, his family home and, for some reason, the family cemetery in Gladys. I guess none of us expected that he would be there so soon. I hope I can visit him there one day.

Carolyn Dottin Beck

January 25, 2010

Dear Family of Handy Withers;

My heart is heavy and I can only imagine your feelings. I am a former Board Trustee of the Brooklyn Children's Museum and had the honor to serve with Handy. He as I am sure you know was a magnificient human being. I last saw Handy at Carol Enseki's retirement party and I promised him that when I retire I would volunteer with him at the Museum. So sorry that I will not be able to keep that promise.
Let me close by saying I know that he is in God's loving care and I ask that we all keep remembering his wonderful smile a generous heart.

God Bless,
Carolyn Dottin Beck

January 25, 2010

Dear Handy's family,

I ama former Chairman of the Board of the Brooklyn Children's Museum. I remember Handy fondly from all of my interactions with him. He was such a sweet person with boundless enthusiasm for the Museum. My (adult) daughter and I had a lovely talk with him at a BCM event this past year...and were both taken with what a wonderful person he was and his on-going commitment to BCM. He will be missed by all of us. Please take comfort in knowing how much he was loved him and valued by everyone associated with the Museum.

Peggi Einhorn

atoosa al maimani

January 22, 2010

Dear Lucille and Wistar,
My husband and I met Handy in Joan&David showroom in NY when we came to buy the line for our boutique in Dubai in 1991. He visited us in Dubai few years later, and since we became great friends . He had seen the birth of our three children. As they call him " Uncle Handy " he was truly special to our family. Everyone looked forward when Uncle Handy was coming over for dinner, helping them with homework, watching American Idol, going thru Presidential election.... As for the rest of Handy's friends, we have such great memories which we will cherish forever.
You are in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. He will be greatly missed, may he rest in peace.

Atoosa,Adnan,Yasmine,Amir, & Nazanin

Handy's Diploma - A Casa das Portas Velhas

Weldon Rougeau

January 20, 2010

Chiara Alemu

January 18, 2010

my whole familly cant express the pain 4 the lost of a gift hearted person like Handy
Love ,
Kiara Alemu

Maxine Reynolds Jennings

January 18, 2010

Lucille & Wistar,
May the Lord continue to keep you in His loving care during this difficult time.May your happy memories bring you peace.We played together as children,my family on Seventh Street very close to your family on Polk Street.We all enjoyed a happy childhood.Handy will be missed,his kindness,his love for people and his great intellect.

Dawit Hailu

January 17, 2010

I met Handy through my parents from Ethiopia in 1998. He loved all of us as his own. He was caring and an amazing man with a big heart. He loved Ethiopian people and their culture, their history, and went beyond just loving what the world offers - he was an extraordinary man who was dedicated to help those who are unfortunate from different walks of life. He was a true "Negus" (King in Amaharic - Ethiopian language). I will miss his stories, smile, jokes, and care to the world he knew well.His kindness and friendship to my parents, especially to my little sister will be greatly missed. My deep thoughts to his family. RIP, Handy!!

Chiara Alemu

January 17, 2010

I met Handy when I was 6 years old. Now, I am 18. He was such a sweet and lovely person to my parents and I. He was my biggest friend. In the past few months We were talking about everything and to see each other this year after few years of not able to have his contacts. He wanted my recent pictures to see how I looked and grew old. I loved him so dearly and he was so gentle to my mom. Now, I lost my big beautiful and lovely friend. My thoughts are with all his family back home in the US, and I feel their grief with mine. Resta in pace, Handy. Ci mancherai tanto!

Sabrina Thomas

January 17, 2010

Wow, what an amazing man and I feel priviledged to have known him. He was truly a friend's friend to whomever he met and wherever he went. Heaven's gain is our lost!! R.I.P!!

Handy at Megan's Bay, St. Thomas 1966

Shirley Day Rougeau

January 17, 2010

To Handy’s family, I extend my heartfelt sympathy. I, too, am shocked and deeply saddened by Handy's sudden and untimely death. We were friends in St. Thomas in the 60’s when we taught at Charlotte Amalie High School. Out of school, we spent a lot of enjoyable time together. After I left St. Thomas I heard nothing about Handy—for 37 years!

In 2004 fate smiled when my husband, Weldon, went to Bahia on business—and I saw his agenda included a meeting with "U.S. Businessman, Handy Withers." I was overjoyed! They met and Handy was shocked to learn that Weldon was my husband; and, Weldon was surprised to see a 1966 picture posted by his computer of Handy and me in St Thomas’ Carnival Village. With a flurry of e-mails, Handy filled me in on his life over the years. He certainly lived an interesting life, to the fullest, given his travels around the world in various businesses and his humanitarian efforts with refugees. The young free spirit I knew in St. Thomas had become a wizened, caring, compassionate and passionate citizen of the world, gathering countless friends and acquaintances along the way.

Weldon saw Handy on several other occasions, and attended the opening of A CASA DAS PORTAS VELHAS. I truly regret I was not there. I have fond memories of Handy, his entertaining e-mails, and many pictures he sent of family and friends who visited “The Doors,” After his return to Lynchburg I was unable to reach Handy; perhaps I had the new e-mail address wrong. Then, one day last week, I came across a picture I took of Handy at the beach in St. Thomas and resolved to try to get in touch with him this year. It is truly ironic: that day was Wednesday, January 6, 2010...

Abraços Handy

M. Commander

January 17, 2010

I met Handy in Bahia a few years ago; what I will always remember is that he was extremely generous with his time and he was a great conversationalist. My thoughts and prayers are with the Withers family in their time of grief.

Rest in peace, Handy.

Jacqueline Nash Mackey

January 17, 2010

My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.

Marion Early

January 16, 2010

My deepest sympathy to the Withers family.

Robert Baldwin

January 15, 2010

My prayers are with and for the family.I will always have pleasant memories of a good classmate.

Nelly van Doorn-Harder

January 15, 2010

My deepest sympathies to Handy's family and all who are mourning his departure from this world. I will always have the picture in my mind of Handy, surrounded by refugees from the Horn of Africa, sitting on the steps of the International Church in the middle of hot and noisy Cairo. Dressed in a colorful shirt and long shorts, notebook in hand, he would talk to them for hours, while scribbling notes to remember what actions to take and promises to follow up on. Desperate and full of fear for the future, they all wanted his advice which he gave generously. He helped them turn their lives around and just the fact that this businessman from New York took the effort and time to fly all the way to Egypt to be with them was a great source of comfort. We will miss seeing him, his phone calls, his letters, and pray that God will comfort all those who mourn his passing too soon.

Joan Randell

January 14, 2010

Handy's friends on Nassau Street in NYC gathered tonight to remember their friend and neighbor. We spoke of Handy's special qualities - his optimism, his kindness, his sensitivity to people, his willingness to go the extra mile for those who needed help, his wonderful style, his handsome face and perfect teeth, his warmth and caring, and his adventurous spirit. We will miss spending time with Handy at Monica's annual holiday parties and in-between when we saw him socially.

We will miss him and mourn his passing.

Mary Thompson

January 14, 2010

Lucille, Lillian and Wistar,
I was so sorry to hear of Handy's passing. I know each of you loved and cherished him as brother and uncle. May God hold you all in the palm of His Hand as you deal with your sorrow.
I will keep you in prayer and in my heart. Bill sends condolences.

Ronald Sheehy

January 14, 2010

January 14

Handy was my freshmen year roomate at Morehouse College. I had not seen him in recent years, but was in contact with him by e-mail. I want to express my condolences to his family.

Lee Vanterpool

January 14, 2010

Although my sister Linda,who introduced our family to Handy and send a message of condolence and sympathy on our behalf, I feel compelled to add a word of tribute and recognition for having the privilege of knowing him and considering him a close friend. We had plans to meet in New York in the Sprng. The wide spread and diverse members of his extended family are testament to his spirit which was filled with love and compassion. I join you and all the many who mourn his passing.

Weldon Rougeau

January 14, 2010

To the Family of Handy Withers, Jr.
My heartfelt condolences to all of you. Although I do not know you, I wanted to express my feelings on the occasion of the loss of a person I respected very highly.
I first met Handy while I was on business in Salvador, Brazil. Handy was in the midst of developing a boutique hotel in Salvador and was going through all of the frustrations one often goes through trying to deal with contractors, government officials, and others, many of whom were not moving with the speed Handy deemed necessary to get his project approved. (During the course of our first conversation, Handy learned that I was married to a friend of his, whom he had not seen in many years.) Over the next several months, despite the frustrations and temporary setbacks, Handy prevailed. I was happy to be able to attend the grand opening of his hotel, which he named "A Casa das Portas Velhas." Just as he had originally conceived it, the hotel was a dream come true, filled with Handy's art collection and other personal artifacts (and refinished old doors). He was without a doubt one of the most astute entrepreneurs I have ever met.
I could go on about the strengths of this man and how he was admired by the Brazilians he worked with and the African Americans whom he impressed with his business acumen, but suffice it to say that I was touched by our brief friendship and wish he were still around. He had so much more to give this world that he left too soon.

Todd Happer

January 14, 2010

Dear Lucille, Wistar and Lillian:
Sending heartfelt condolences to you and all Handy's extended and loving family. He is a great friend, teacher and inspiration, and will always be with so many of us around the world.

Ellen Thompson

January 14, 2010

Wistar,
I was sorry to hear of the lost of your brother Handy. Know that my prayers and deepest sympathy goes out to you and your loved ones. The Thompson's will keep you all in prayer.

With Love,
Ellen Thompson and Family

JoJo, Dara, & Euphazine Kendall

January 14, 2010

Dear Lucille & Wistar,
The Kendall family sends our deepest regrets on the loss of your beloved brother, Handy. He was a true and dear friend to our family and will be sorely missed. He was always a huge encouragement to me & JoJo in pushing us to do well in school & life. Additionally, I know my Mom truly treasured the great friend she had in her homeboy, Handy. May God keep you strengthened and comforted. With much love...

Rebecca Churchman

January 14, 2010

Condolence Message for the Family and friends of Mr. Handy Withers

Today our hearts are saddened as we close the chapter of the life of the first-born son of the Withers family, whom we loved and will sorely miss.

To the family and friends I extend condolences and deepest sympathy to you as you mourn the loss of your brother, uncle, nephew, friend and confidant Handy. May you find comfort in knowing that Handy was a leader, a visionary and trusted friend and he will forever hold a special place in our hearts. We will fondly remember his smile, his intelligent and insightful critiques on any subject. At first glance, he appeared to be a pretty normal guy, but as soon as you engaged him, his conversations would take you to places where you searched your soul only to conclude that this brother is on to something and I had better take note from him. He willingly offered advice and support to anyone entering into his space.

We will fondly remember Handy as a trailblazer, whose intellectual capacity and love for life influenced his ability to reminisce and recall scenarios about Lynchburg, VA and especially his alma Mater, Dunbar High School.

Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow. Mourn if you must, but let your sadness be tempered with the joy of knowing that Handy lived a good life; whatever he did, was done with style and precision. He travelled the world, as a businessman, an educator, an entrepreneur, and a friend. He left no stone unturned; he enjoyed his life!

Furthermore, please know that we share in your sorrow and offer our support and service as needed during your grief and bereavement. May his soul forever rest in peace!

Rebecca Poindexter Churchman, President

The Lynchburgers Club, Inc. of Metropolitan, Washington, DC
January 14, 2010

January 13, 2010

Dear Lucille and Wistar,
Your brother was so much fun and to know that Handy has left us for his eternal home is still hard to accept. As Christians we know that God holds the key to our beginning and final destiny. I will certainly miss Handy's laughter, broad smile and deep conversations. You all will be in my prayers during this very difficult time and know that "Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal".
Veronica Saunders Minor

Mary & Orlander Harrison

January 13, 2010

Dear Wistar,
Our condolences to you and your family in the loss of one so dear to you. May God grant you peace, comfort, and strength in your time of bereavement. Love you.

Granville & Diana Coleman

January 13, 2010

Dear Lucille and Wistar,
Please know that you are in our prayers and thoughts as you go through the difficulty of the loss of someone so dear to you and to us.

January 13, 2010

Wistar,

My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family in the loss of your brother, Handy. Not so long ago, I had the pleasure of being with him and other members of his Dunbar graduating class. I will always remember the fun we all had that night because of Handy's keen sense of humor. He will be greatly missed.

I pray that our heavenly Father will wrap his arms around all of you in the difficult days ahead.

Pat Joplin Hamilton

Peggy Joplin-Stots

January 13, 2010

Dear Lucille and Wistar,
I am so sorry for your loss. Handy led a full life and will be missed by many. I am so glad that I had a chance to see him a few months ago and reminisce about the "old days".

Wendell Thompson

January 13, 2010

Wistar,
I am so sorry to hear about your brother's passing. May God keep you and your family strong during these trying times.
You have always supported my family and I, so rest assured we support you and your family during these trying times.

Stay strong Wistar!!!

Sincerely,
Wendell Thompson

Cesar Nascimento

January 13, 2010

Your friends from Brazil are and will miss you. We witness how you help to built a better world and a better Brazil, particularly to us Afro-Brazilians. We pray that God's hand drives you to the light as you have ilumminated many people way in this life. Cesar

Christine Holt

January 13, 2010

Wistar and Family,

I send my heartfelt condolences to your family during your time of grief. Remember, earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.

Paula W. Blair

January 13, 2010

Wistar and Lucille,
My deepest sympathy to all of your Family.
A contribution to the Legacy Museum will be made in Handy's memory.
Paula

January 13, 2010

Wistar,
You have my deepest sympathy
Evelyn Early

Valerie Thimpson Heartley

January 12, 2010

Wistar:

My heartfelt sympathies are extended to you and your family. It's been less than one month since you comforted me on just such an occasion.

Please know that, although I did not Handy, I felt that I did because of the stories you have shared down through the years. He would be important to me/us also because of your love for him. You are a part of our family and, as such, so are your loved ones.

May God comfort, strenghten and keep each of you as you transition through this period of sadness. Rely on Him when the burdens seem too heavy. Know that the Thompson and Heartley families are praying for each of you.

We love you,

Daaimah Withers Bradley

January 12, 2010

You will always be in my heart and prayers!

Roy Marden

January 12, 2010

As a long-time Trustee of the Brooklyn Children's Museum, I treasure not only Handy's immeasurable contributions, but his spirit, guidance and friendship. He will be sorely missed.

William A Johnson, Jr

January 12, 2010

Lucille and Wistar,

The news of Handy's passing hit me like a ton of bricks on Wednesday evening. I read Wistar's e-mail around midnight, as I was preparing to head to surgery the next morning. The last news I needed to hear was of an unexpected death of someone I knew so well, and especially of one who was so vigorous and seemingly indestructible.

I ran into Handy this past summer at Lynchburg Day, and he was his usual voluble self: informative, humorous, suave and self-effacing. We talked about his inability to set his permanent roots down in Lynchburg. As other colleagues have noted, Handy was a "world traveler", a person whose fullsome spirit could not be contained in a single place. Yet, despite his well-deserved reputation as an international citizen, it was right and just that his last days on this earth would be spent in his hometown, in the company of his beloved family and friends. He was truly in the right place at the right time.

Handy was a proud alumnus of Dunbar High, and one who carried its mantel proudly into the world. C.W. Seay and Pauline Weeden Maloney would undoubtedly enter Handy in the top quartile of DHS' roll of honor, for living up to the high ideals and standards that were inculcated during our five years of study there, and for a lifetime of distinguished post-graduate accomplishment.

While we can be truly saddened by the unexpected circumstances of his passing, we can truly agree that Handy lived a full life of achievement and adventure, and that he left this life cheated possibly of only one thing: longevity. However, as Martin Luther King, Jr. reminded us, longevity is not a measure of the worth of one's life.

Handy enjoyed 67 well-lived years of life.

My prayers are for the comfort of your souls during this most difficult time.

"Colonel"

Sharon & Stanley Snead

January 12, 2010

With deepest sympathy to the Withers family. May beautiful memories sustain you during this time of sorrow. Love and prayers from your cousin.

Abraham

January 12, 2010

Mr. Wistar,
Sorry to here about our brother.
From what I hear, I can tell that he was a good man.

Joyce Banks Douglas

January 12, 2010

Lucille and Wister,
My prayers and thoughts are with you during this difficult time. I was fortunate to spend a joyful afternoon with Handy and several of our 1961 Dunbar classmates on December 23,2009.in the Washinton, DC area. I treasure the fact that we were able to catch up and discuss old times and memmories.

Carolyn Jackson Landrum

January 12, 2010

My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I hope you will find comfort in the knowledge that Handy lived life to the fullest and touched many people during his time here. May God comfort you during this sad time.

Tisha Fish-Harris

January 12, 2010

As the days and weeks pass, and as you return to life's routine, may you continue to feel comforted by the love and support of family and friends.

Suzanne Fageol

January 12, 2010

I am so happy to have known Handy. He was a good friend and neighbor to my whole family in St. Thomas for many years. The thing I remember most is his wonderful smile and his willingness to be of help. He also had a fabulous sense of humor! I remember so many lively discussions around our dinner table. Handy always had a way with touching deeply into a person's soul and saying just the right thing that would let you know you were loved and appreciated. May we all hold in our hearts the most precious gift of his presence in our lives! May his soul rest in peace.

Phyllis Tinsley Cary

January 12, 2010

Dear Lucille,
Handy touched the lives of people in many places around the world. He was gifted with words and had a talent for writing. I knew several people from the Virgin Islands who knew him. They graduated from Hampton with me.
Please accept my deepest condolences for you and your family as you go through this loss. I understand your pain and I feel your grief. It will not go away or be lessened in any way. So my prayer for you and your family will be for the comfort and guidance that only God can give. He knows how hard it is to let our love ones go. Peace to you and each of your family members. There are many good memories that will go on forever. God is good and he blessed us with a beautiful person.
My prayers are with you,

Reina Schechter

January 12, 2010

I have wonderful memories of times shared with Handy long ago in St. Thomas and, over these many years of "keeping in touch". He will be missed.

Esther& George Claxton

January 12, 2010

May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well lived.

Llewellyn E. Taylor, Jr.

January 12, 2010

Rest in peace, cousin Handy; we will always remember you with love and affection.

Gloria Hubbard Robinson & Family

January 12, 2010

My heartfelt sympathy to the Withers family. May your memories bring you comfort and may you lean on the love and support of family and friends during this difficult time. Love and prayers from your cousin.

Fuller and Sue Campbell

January 12, 2010

Handy lived many lives in his given time, but in each he was the same person. Remembering an early dictate of his that "One doesn't mix one's friends." and now looking at the memories from all of us, far flung and diverse, the complexity and richness of his life are apparent. In each tribute similar accolades are found. Handy was and is loved, he was a very special person and the empty space his departure leaves behind in all our lives will not be filled by anyone else. We, his multitude of friends, may not know each other, we are the gallery of photographs he assembled and hung so proudly on his walls, but we each knew Handy, and in that way we are one in loss and memories.
Fuller and Sue Campbell
St. Thomas, Virgin Islands

JACK MORRIS JR

January 12, 2010

I was so sorry to hear of your loss. The thoughts of many are with you at this time of sorrow.

Mary Woodley

January 12, 2010

Wistar, my prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.
With Much Love!

Dr.Falaah Muqtadir, aka Robert W. Withers

January 12, 2010

I send my deepest Sympathy to the Withers family. I pray the love of God enfolds you during your difficult times and he helps you heal with the passage of time. From God we come to Him we must return.
Amen

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