I had a little breakdown today. I still cannot believe you are gone sometimes, it just does not seem possible. Then I realize it is true and I feel despair. I feel so sorry that this has happened to you. When I watch Maddy play I get really sad thinking how she will grow up without you and how much that would just tear you apart if you knew. Its been almost a year since I last saw you. I am really starting to miss you a lot. A few times I went to call you and that happened today. I don't know. I just don't get it and I know I never will. You are so alive in my head. I love you with all of my heart Michael.