Nathan Leonard Marney, 50, of Carefree, AZ, died on May 1, 2005. He was born on June 3, 1954 in Los Angeles, California. He is survived by his parents, Milton & Jana Marney; 3 sons, Justin, Tyler and Samuel Marney; sister, Angela Marney; brothers, Matthew, Steven and David Marney. Visitation will be on Thursday, May 5th from 10 am to 11 am at Hansen Mortuary, 8314 N. 7th St. with service to follow at 11 am.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Sponsored by Jana Marney-Nelson.
Fondly remembering Nathan today.
Carlton A
Family
January 2, 2024
We have paddled the streams, from morning to dusk. But seas between us have roared since long ago. Still, we'll drink a cup of kindness yet, for days gone by. -R. Burns
Angela
Family
January 1, 2024
Dad would be 100 today! In some small measure it´s easier thinking that regardless, he would be gone by now. But he remains in my present and always will. Happy birthday Dad.
Angela
Family
October 4, 2022
It's two years now since Stephen went where Nate, Mom, and Dad went. I put them all together here as it's just Nate was first.
With Stephen, I come to back to how JKRowling described her character, Cedric. "...and we"ll celebrate a boy who was kind and honest and brave and true, right to the very end."
That was Stephen.
Angela Marney
November 12, 2020
We miss you. I hope you and Stephen are having a drink and good laugh together up there...somewhere over that rainbow.
Angela M
Sister
April 30, 2020
There is just so much sadness when I think of the losses in the Marney family. We lost Nathan first, then my mother-in-law Jana Marney-Nelson, then my father-in-law Milton Marney, then Stephen this past November 2018. I think of these beloved family members often, and mourn. Each one was dear to me in a different way. I can only look to God for comfort. Rest in peace.
Janet Marney
July 2, 2019
I miss you Uncle Nathan---I think of you all the time.
Lia Marney
June 29, 2019
"If there is ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." - Winnie the Pooh. Gentle and kind, what a beautiful soul, I wish I got the chance to grow up with you. Loved you then, love you still, always have, always will. -Clairey
March 13, 2017
Am I happy? Yes. Does it hurt as much? No. But I never think, "It was a long time ago. It's part of life." To live with someone gone. Is not to think on it. -AMarney
July 11, 2016
Happy Birthday Mom. You'd be 84 tomorrow. I wrote this poem.
The Patapsco Bridge
For six seconds
above a trailing edge
of Oak and Pine
Travel through
the hazeless blue lovely of
this summer day
Rest asking
tangled memory for
kindnesses it cannot give.
-Angela Marney
October 21, 2011
Thank you for posting this, Trish. I'm so glad your boys are doing well!
Carlton Acuff
August 25, 2011
Seems like so much time has passed! Just an update for all on how Nate's boys are doing. GREAT! Justin is now Senior Programmer for Viget Labs. He is advancing in his career and in his life. He has a wonderful young lady that he loves deeply and who loves him. Tyler is now 22 1/2 and working hard in school and in life. He is tall and handsome just like his dad! Sam is close to turning 21 and though a bit lost regarding his long term career wishes he is a stable, strong young man. They always think of you, Nate, and I feel your absence in their lives. You are greatly missed!!
Trish Conley
August 24, 2011
Angela Marney
July 3, 2010
Today is your birthday and it's strange to take one day to write something down since every day has thoughts of you Mom.
When I try to think of words to say, I'm pretty much at a loss. It's all a jumble. Many times I've stood in front of the poster I made for the service; looking at the picture of you and me. I chose it in a hurry but it crystallizes all that my heart holds dear for me about you.
I remember how I rose up on my tip-toes whenever I gave Nate a hug and how he always smelled nice. And you, as you are in the picture; you always bowed your head down when you were smiling and about to give me a hug.
Angela Marney
October 22, 2009
I have mixed emotions. I felt the sadness of Nathan being gone on the day of Sam's graduation. It was like an empty hole that wanted to be filled. Yet I am proud of all three of Nate's boys for what they have achieved and for what they are becoming. They are fine young men. And I'm proud of Trish for being their mom.
Janet
June 19, 2009
Dear Trish
Thank you for letting us know how well Nates children are doing, he would indeed be very proud.
He was 55 June 3, how I miss him
Maureen McKay
Maureen McKay
June 19, 2009
Dear Trish
I'm so happy to hear how well Nates children are doing, Nate is very proud.
He was very special to us, he left us to soon. He would of been 55 June 3 Bless his heart.
Your never forgotten Nate
Maureen McKay
Maureen McKay
June 19, 2009
Dear Trish
I'm so happy to hear how well Nates children are doing, Nate is very proud.
He was very special to us, he left us to soon. He would of been 55 June 3 Bless his heart.
Your never forgotten Nate
Maureen McKay
June 19, 2009
June 18, 2009
June 18, 2009
June 18, 2009
June 18, 2009
Just a short update to all on how wonderful Nate's children are doing. Natie, Sam graduated from high school and we all wished we could have shared this moment with you. I am sure you were looking down on him during his big moment!. Ty is starting his second year in college and going for a computer graphic design degree. Justin is, well Justin! doing great and happier than ever. He just returned from Colorado where he is thinking of moving. WE all thought of you on your birthday and miss you terribly. You are always in our lives, thoughts and being.
Trish
June 18, 2009
Only at the end can a life be measured.
And without an end, there is no life.
But I am sad and cry not just for today but for all the days I have live without you.
Angela
December 26, 2008
Dear Mom,
It seems strange to write as you are so close and know all my thoughts; so many every day.
Stephen, the girls and I went to Holy Cross to light a candle for you and Nate. I asked myself if you were there but you were already with me when I went in so I didn't feel any different. It is a beautiful church and I knew you would have gone for me.
I remember going with you to light a candle for your Dad at a church. And we went, just us two, to Elkhart for your Mom's service. I look back and try to remember you then and compare myself to that. It is easier to believe in God when people are alive.
Dad sent Matt a present and we called to wish him Merry Christmas. All those important things to you in life - family gathering, loyality, propriety and singing - we did all that for you and us on Christmas.
I love you Mom. Merry Christmas to you and Nate.
Angela
December 26, 2008
Dear Mom,
Today is your 81st birthday. How much I miss you.
The last years or so I forgot what I knew when I was 15. I wrote you a poem back then that was all about what I wanted to tell the others in my family. But when I wrote to you, all I said was that I loved you. And it was enough.
I cry a lot driving in my car alone. But then I get mad and force myself to think about the great laughs we had and the nice things I did do for you.
Your poster is up in the living room and I put your ashes on top of the angel cabinet. It's so beautiful and I add flowers from the garden, yellow roses. They're still blooming today.
All these things you know of course.
I love you Mom and miss you so very much. Happy Birthday my precious Mom.
Love,
Angela
Angela Marney
October 22, 2008
Your Mom is proud of what you wrote
Angela.
Remember
“Love can never lose its own.” Your loved one is merely living in another dimension. He or she is never far away. You have not lost your loved one.
I truly believe my mom is always with me as yours is with you.
Much Love
Mo.
Maureen McKay
June 27, 2008
That eulogy was just beautiful, Angela. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Carlton Acuff
June 26, 2008
Mom died in her sleep before the dawn of Sunday, April 6, 2008. People want to believe and so they do believe. Mom is with Natie. And she sees us and watches us which is to say we are not done, we still have her.
I had a question I couldn't answer: why couldn't I tell Mom she did a good job with her gallery when we talked about it on Saturday? She said, "I ran the gallery for 10 years," and I said "You ran it into the ground." That was a really mean thing to say and I can't take it back. So I want to know why I said it and I just couldn't.
Today I am so sad and I yelled at myself why couldn't I give that to her? And in that question came one answer. I couldn't give that to her because I didn't understand that loving someone is giving them that piece of earth to stand on in this world. I thought loving someone meant always being there and trying to make things better and that's a big part but it's not the part you can't miss.
I'm sorry Mom I didn't give you your piece of earth on that day. I know you forgive me and know that I did love you with all my heart in all the ways I knew how.
- Your Daughter
Mom and I decided to keep this guest book for Natie after the first year and so I think it's OK for me to put down here, at the end of Natie's book, my eulogy for our Mom, our precious and loved
Jana Helene Wambaugh Marney-Nelson
I wish I could tell you about Mom with the insight and flow of words that came to me when Nate died. But you know I can't. I want to honor Mom and give her all the grandeur she deserved but I can't with words. She is gone and all that I have for her is trapped inside. All my love. When Natie was gone, I wrote his eulogy and somehow it came out and said really what I thought was the essence of his work on this earth. And now it's Mom's turn. But it cannot be so succinct and put together because the weight of her loss is something that makes me so tired I feel I cannot speak of it. I cannot put down what she meant to me, her only daughter, she my only mother. But I will speak of her because not to try would be to abandon her and that I will not do. So I am going to try and say and pull from inside the best words I can to honor her. But they are only words.
Mom loved music and Art and strove to gain in her knowledge of both her whole life. She was self-deprecating, intelligent and intellectually curious. Her library is full of books on Native American and European art history along with music theory and history. In 2003 we went to a retrospective of Gerhard Richter's at the Hirshorn. We spent such a long time in the galleries just looking at and talking about the artworks. She was most alive at times like that, being intently engaged in thinking about art, it's meaning and significance and the person behind it's creation. Another time I was at the house, she asked if I wanted to hear three notes that changed music composition forever. 'Well yea.' So opened on her computer was a website with a play button and a detailed analysis of just the first three notes of Wagner's "Tristan and Isolde". Well really that was beyond me but not Mom. On her Amazon account she had just ordered and it's coming, a book entitled "Lost History: The Enduring Legacy of Muslim Scientists, Thinkers and Artists". And to the degree she could without much money, she made her physical world match all the beauty she knew existed.
She was funny. On a trip to an Indian store in Pennsylvania she tried to get the automatic car seat situated. Every button she pushed would very slowly inch the seat and her this way or that. At first the movement was so slight we couldn't tell if it was right but then, no it wouldn't be the right one. I was telling her to be systematic and first push this lever, then the next and so on. Well it just kept happening the seat going the wrong way and finally we were laughing so hard we had to pull over.
She could write rhyming poetry like no one else. She was a lousy card player and a wonderful dancer. She was a beauty and a sad romantic who never gave up hope. Imaginative rather than practical. Tireless, open in her affections, fierce in her anger, unyielding in her sense of self, unafraid to show feelings, unafraid to receive them.
She had a yearning for knowledge and love could not be quenched. At times I'd call on the phone and find her, as she said, in a funk. She was just down those days but always attributed it to her own laziness and self-pity, neither of which she could tolerate in others or herself. A few days later, she'd be OK again.
She was mystical, searching to find the spiritual side of things. She wanted to know the very place where Natie's ashes were scattered. She wanted to know WHY that spot was chosen, the significance of it. And there had to be some significance to the choice because that would tie it together, give it comprehension, unity, meaning and that would make her safe. At her core I think Mom did not feel safe and none of us could give her that sense but we tried and she knew that, absolutely, we loved her.
All her treasurers are in this room. She had no trust of institutions or any outside entity. All the faith she could see manifest in this world, lie with us, her family. Her family were her friends and contacts, her life. But when I say that I don't mean it in the familiar way but this way: Her family was her life and her part in it was not as a follower, to fuss over us, but as a leader, to marshal us forward with each new scheme. And she had some doozies.
We were her crew and a ship has to sail. She didn't do things on her own, whatever her plans, big or small, they required our full attention and labor. Some of us hunkered down, some of us jumped ship and some of us rowed till our hearts gave out. We were the means by which she righted her ship and those crazy ideas, linguistic tricks and flamboyant accusations were merely sightings of some far off mirage.
She was the source of our oceans, the winds that spun our hurricanes, the life that set our own ships to sea. And for me, the safe harbor from which I would never and could never be turned away. Mom's gift was to love me even though I could not see who she really was in life but only now in her absence. Why could I not see that she was on my side all along. I cannot say. She was so much wiser than I.
I am grateful you did not fall and hurt yourself. I will not forget, Mom. You are at peace now. I am glad Natie is with you, to keep you safe. But oh how I will miss you.
Angela Marney
June 24, 2008
Dearest Nate
You are in the gentle breezes and in the stars and forever in my heart.
Mo
Maureen Mckay
June 12, 2007
Dearest my only second son:
Happy B'day, darling!
We had such a lovely little remembrance celebration with Angela and you and for you today, didn't we, my Natie?--just talking old times, seeing two lovely new photos, honoring and being with you even more today than usual--all of which you know, of course
Good night, my son in heaven--and extra special kisses on your 53rd
Love forever, your moi
Jana Marney-Nelson
June 3, 2007
Today I'm remembering Natie especially 'cause it's his birthday.
Here's a photo of him and Claire some summer afternoon in '03 or so. He came over to hang out and Claire wanted to give him a haircut so, naturally, he obliged.
This is how I like to remember him best, just sweet-natured and free with his time towards the girls.
Happy Birthday Nate!
-A.
Angela Marney
June 3, 2007
for Nathan
Between the powerful dead and the living
who hear his voice
there stands a certain commerce, shared
realization that the true path desperately sought
could never possibly have been attained.
His the deeply dreamed insightful hope
but ours the engineering.
Can even God be sure that we---or anyone
means to follow the spectral hand, pointing
where the generations still may go?
milton marney
April 30, 2007
Rocket Man
The dog lay in the snow
and wouldn't get up.
It's unnerving.
What does it know that I don't?
I've stood in a dark sky.
I've waited for falling stars
to show themselves.
I never once asked
Why there?
Why that one?
-AMarney
________________
Angela Marney
April 19, 2007
Godspeed
greetings to you for 2007, my one and only beloved Natie, from us and
on behalf of all those whose hearts you may be in especially now.
So once again, our annual "Marney Christmas weave" as Stephen calls it, is over, (and in which this time you joined us more particularly than
ever, as you know): all set aside until the next time--the lighted
silver tree Marney loves so to see from the street, our Santa Claus
(Tacie's gifts), the cards sent, the
foyer-room poinsettia, the decorated mugs for our at-home, etc., all so
familiar to you too, my Natie.
But for one little event I must say extra thanks to you, love and
Godspeed to our sons and grandsons, Ty and Sam: our so-happy New Year's
day poker session with us, Angela and Stephen, the first one since you
left. You recall those when you lived here and the boys on the
weekends; we recalled now that then, presiding over the table as our primo family poker guru, you became (however rarely during that period) your very self: free, fun, fundamental.
You are in eternal peace now, my son, but since we are not yet so, may I add just this: if possible, also please bless us from your vantage: guide, succor, pray for us your Marneys this coming year.
Love as always forever, your moi
January 4, 2007
Just an update to all who read this. As you all know Nate has three wonderful boys. A few great milestones occurred this Oct 06. Sam, his youngest turned 16 ! He is turning out to be a wonderful, handsome young man. One that Nate would be proud of. His middle son, Tyler, will be turning 18 in Feb and is now driving. They are both working and studying. As for his oldest son Justin, we are proud to announce he has graduated College with a degree in Computer Science. He has a wonderful job and he is a grounded, sweet young man. Nate you would be so proud of them all. Miss you daily, Trish and the boys
Trish
December 4, 2006
Happy Birthday Jana, I know Nate is with you.
Just looked at his picture yesterday, Bless his heart.
We miss you Nate.
Our Love to all the family
Mo,Jim
Maureen McKay
December 4, 2006
December 3, 2006
My dearest Natie---today is another of MY b-days, as you know, and I'm particularly thinking of the many b-days cards you sent me thru the
years, which, HONESTLY! in their originals, SHALL one day be part of yr shrine here at Wexford!
As also you know, never a day goes by without my honoring greeting to
you each morning and throughout invoking your presence.
Here's Angela:
...
Natie,
Remember that day you came to my workplace at the Center? Mom was there and we were taking pictures of her gallery artwork. After all that was done I asked you two to stand together for a picture and you gave Mom a big hug. She buried her head in your shoulder and I took the picture. That's one of my best memories of you and Mom. I know you're looking down from heaven and wishing your Mom a great birthday today.
Love,
Angela
October 22, 2006
I just read all your entries above. You all have made a wonderful tribute to Nathan. I'm so thankful and impressed to learn more about the kind man, whom I only met a few times.
Carlton
Carlton Acuff
July 23, 2006
Well, Natie, my irreplacable, beloved second son--it's about an hour into your 52nd birthday--may you have an especially blessed day.
Do you remember your last one w/us here at Wexford two years ago? A milestone date, indeed, and altho we'd thought to take you out for dinner, as usual our implementation fell short of our intention and we ended up w/Chinese takeout (or was it pizza?) and an inscribed ice-cream cake instead at home.
As you know, you've been with us an extra lot lately: Angela has FINALLY gotten her little self in gear and is doing yeoman service on the ole' homestead makeover--dust, debris and detritus everywhere, so it's like--now how would Natie fix this or that pesky little problemo for us as so often before?
I must also report I do NOT have your little shrine quite completed yet, but it shall be in the fullness of time, and added to it can now be the marvelous photo of you taken at age 24 which you know of.
We'll be celebrating your day tonight, dearest Natie, and honoring you evermore ever more particularly.
.
Love, your moi
Jana Marney-Nelson
June 3, 2006
Dearest Nate, Jim and I talk of you often, remembering special memories made with you. When we see a biker that reminds us of you driving along we say their goes Nate. You became a special part of our lives, you were our 6th son. Bless you honey.
We Love you dearly
Mo,Jim ( Carefree, Az )
Mo,Jim McKay
May 27, 2006
Dear Nathan,
Going through old PC files this morning, I came across an e-mail from you, stored in my E-bay folder……….I know you are laughing now. I cannot tell you how much this made me smile, but more importantly, how much your kindness meant to me during a very difficult period in my life. The items you listed for me on E-bay helped pay my bills, provide for my children and enable me to rebuild my company with the cash made from the items sold. Thank you again……..
So many little things in my day to day life make me think of you. I can never play/hear AC/DC without memories of us being silly on the grassy knoll, so I play my CD’s nice and loud and hope you are jamming with me. I still do my limes the way you taught me and cheer you each time I enjoy a cold Corona. I have very fond memories of the “serious’ debates we shared on our decks, and all the summers we left our sliding doors open so our kids could run in and out playing together, or so we could just chat over the fence. You always knew when I needed a friend to hang and chill with. I think the times we just sat and said nothing meant more to me than you ever knew. You taught my sons how to use a hammer, make a retaining wall and use tools – you were so talented and giving. Corey’s first paycheck was from you. I’m making my German “grinders” this Memorial weekend; I wish you were here to enjoy them with me; I’ll make them extra hot just for you.
We will see each other again, but until then, enjoy the special place you have in so many hearts. You truly were/are the most unique person I have ever met; there will never be another Big Guy.
Simone Benson
May 26, 2006
Hello to all who may be reading Nathan's guest book. Pls look at the PHOTO GALLERY for there is a wonderful photo of Nathan taken by his sister, Angela when he was 24 years old.
Thank you for all your kind words about Nathan, his boys will enjoy reading them all for years to come.
Trish
May 25, 2006
May 24, 2006
Nathan, our special memory of you today is of that time when you and all your brothers were on your own, rooming together in Toronto. Home-sickness was an ever-present threat, so I tried to offer some lift by sending a poem I had earlier written for your mother. I can still feel the quiet joy which rose in me when you later told me that you pinned that poem beside the door and read it every day on your way out to work building fine furniture.
Your mother joined you in valuing that poem above any other of mine; and it is due to her ever-mindful care that we have chosen to enter it in your legacy today.
Reverberations
Never think that love can be misspent.
Ardent, it strikes and lodges in lives, rings
there forever in strange keys
unknown to orchestration.
Enough, if in unguarded moments, startled
by remembered sounds, our hearts
wing up from hidden places, from close cover
wheeling into high sunlight; and, flying,
we become...ourselves.
Milton/Jana Marney
May 1, 2006
Natie, on your first year of having left us, the boys have gone to spend the weekend at the cabin. For all who may read this, Nate would take our boys to Doyle RIver Cabin in the Shenandoah Nat. Park. A very magical time for the boys. They talk of their trips with dad, often. Justin leads the way, continuing the tradition. They took some photos and a few other things, so I am sure we will hear all about their time. I am also certain you are enjoying that time with them, Nate. We miss you so very much. You would be so proud of the boys and how they have coped with you not being here. We speak of you always and miss you daily.
Trish
May 1, 2006
Nathan,
It is so hard to believe it has been almost 1 year and I realized that our time to write our thoughts to you is about up. You would be so very proud of your family and how they have managed themselves since your death...but you already know that I'm sure. I turned 50 a few months ago and Trisha really out did herself as always and I was Queen for the weekend. I really enjoyed our time together and sharing thoughts about our lives and how they changed so much from almost 20 years ago when we all first met. You will always be a part of my life and I am so pleased to have those memories to look back on. Thank you for letting us be a part of your family back in "our" day...it meant the world to Adam, Melissa and I and always will. I took Adam to Scottsdale on a trip I won at work back in 2001, so I could picture what the area was like where you settled and where you lived to the end of your life. I can see you now on that motorcycle and cruising those desert roads!
Well, you are in a better place of course and probably see everyone you have known...say Hi to my Mom for me, she always liked you Nathan, thought you were such a nice man. You will always be missed but you have carried on your spirit through your children...so goes the cycle of life.
See you sometime in the future when God calls for me!
Love,
Mary Lynn
Mary Lynn Brown
April 24, 2006
A good and beautiful Easter morning to you, my Natie. We know you greet us from Heaven especially today, as we do you from here.
Natie, have you enjoyed this past week looking out on our fabulous flowering redbud? Gorgeous, isn't it?
As promised, compiling your very own memorabilia for the alter/shrine we intend, and amongst them found some of the most precious:
The famous (or infamous?) pic of you graduating from Langley, complete w/shades and hair; all your marvelous, fabulous cards to me; the stunningly accomplished graphic series you did on the Labors of Hercules; two letters from you written at Harwood (mostly about BIKES of all ironies), but with a most curious, prescient couplet on the envelope's back on your absent presence:
"Don't turn around,
If you hear a strange sound,
It'll only be me,
The one you can't see."
We know, my Natie, we know. Goodbye for now from moi.
Jana Marney-Nelson
April 16, 2006
.
When people ask me what happened I say, 'We lost him'.
He died. He had a motorcycle accident.
He was killed. He passed.
What's that?
We lost him.
Something precious that still exists, whole, intact.
Just lost.
Natie is somewhere, everywhere, nowhere.
And how hard it is to think of all those other times when
We seemed to be part of a whole.
I never thought we could be otherwise. Did you?
How strange to know that anyone can be let go.
.
Angela Marney
March 6, 2006
When I met Nathan and Trisha in 1987 little did I know the huge impact they would each have on my life and my children's lives. In 1988 they both came to our rescue and protected my children from abduction by risking their own family by taking in my son for his safety and gave me the peace of knowing he was in the best of hands for those very long 10 days. Nathan said for me not to worry and because of those words and my complete trust in Nathan I didn't have to worry. That unique ordeal and others bonded our families for life. My children and I would spend every Dec 23rd at their home celebrating Christmas together and Nathan was always a wonderful male figure for my kids to look up to...especially after their Dad passed. We started this Christmas tradition in 1988, years before Tyler and Sammy were born and continued until 2002, the year before I moved out of town...a piece of Christmas we all miss now. There were times that if I was Nathan I would have took the phone off the hook because Trisha and I would talk so much but he somehow always understood we needed that in our friendship and he gave up his time with her to allow me to have her time...which was greatly needed in my life then...he was very giving to me as a friend and it was priceless to me. They always say behind a good man is a good woman and Trisha was Nathan's. Nathan loved Trisha so very much and the homelife she created for him and as the childrem came along his love of his children was a beautiful thing to watch.
There is a big piece of Nathan in each of his son's and they will always be a part of their Dad. He has always been so proud of his boys and rightly so as they are wonderful human beings and will carry on his family for the next generation. Nathan, we all miss you so much and understand why your life took the twists and turns that it did the last decade and we are glad you found your niche before you left for life on the otherside as you are in a better place surrounded by love and God...but you are and will be missed and the pain of losing you will lessen as time goes on...but I sit here writing this with tears streaming down my face as I cannot help thinking how kind you were and those Christmas memories you helped make for Adam, Melissa and I...you opened up your home to us and made us feel like we were part of your family. You and Trisha made such a difference in our lives and that is part of our memories of you...and will be until we join you too. It was my privilege to know you and an honor to be part of your life. You have always had my respect and always will.
Keep an eye out for all of us, OK? :)
Love Always, Mary Lynn
Mary Lynn Brown
January 9, 2006
Memories of Nathan
I felt great shock and sadness when I learned of my brother-in-law's death due to a motorcycle accident on May 1, 2005. It seemed fitting for all the family to travel out to Phoenix, Arizona to see where he had died and where he had lived. On June 5, a little more than a month before Nathan would have turned 51, we held a Memorial Service there in the land which he had chosen to call home, surrounded by the majestic beauty of the Southwest. At that time I was too stunned to write down my thoughts; but, I did share some brief memories in tribute to Nathan at the service. As each person spoke, other memories would come to mind, and in this way we helped one another to remember the good things in the life of Nathan Marney. As time passes, I would encourage us all to continue to speak of him and to remember, for in this way he will remain alive in our hearts. Here are some of my memories of Nathan.
I first met Nathan when I was 16 and dating his younger brother David. Going to the Marneys' home was always an experience, especially when they lived on Vale Road in Vienna and were a five motorcycle family! That's right, at one point each of the four sons had his own bike, and so did Nathan's dad. Of the five riders, Nathan was the only one who had invested in all the appropriate equipment and clothing. I remember one winter night when I was riding with Dave and we spilled on the ice, that fully padded head-to-toe suit Nathan had loaned me saved my bacon (but that was the last time I ever rode on a motorcycle). The brothers seemed to be very close; I believe you need the context of the family to understand any one of them.
Going to the same school (Langley High School in McLean, Virginia), I saw Nathan around school as well. He and Dave were both active in the school Hiking Club and introduced me to Appalachian Outfitters in Oakton and the joys of group hikes. Nathan loved the outdoors. He was a great photographer. On one hike, he was, as usual, way ahead of me on the trail, and there was a forked branch of a tree just at the top of a steep section. Each person who came up the trail would have his face perfectly framed in that crook for a brief moment. Nathan waited until I reached the spot and then snapped the perfect picture, one of the best ever taken of me. With his characteristic generosity, he had an enlargement made and gave it to me later. This is just one example of his artist's eye, his kindness, and his follow-through combined.
I also remember playing poker with all the brothers at their house, and Nathan not being too happy when I, a girl, kept winning! He finally got up and left. I guess he took it more seriously than I did. Then there was his wedding day, when he was delayed by car trouble, and arrived at the Marney home with grease all over his hands. I thought of his bride and told him he couldn't get married with grease under his fingernails; he asked me if I would take care of it, so I did. I guess girls are good for something!
For our nation's Bicentennial in 1976, Nathan designed a flying eagle surrounded by a circlet of 13 stars and had it printed on T-shirts to be sold to the crowds in D.C. The design is one of the best patriotic designs I have ever seen, and still looks fresh today (I wore the T-shirt on every 4th of July for years, until I outgrew it and made it into a wall-hanging still in use).
Another memory I have involves double dating, in a way. Nathan and David would ride two motorcycles down to Charlottesville, where I was going to college (UVA). Nathan, who always had a spare helmet for a girl, would take out Susie, my fun-loving roommate, and I would ride with Dave. The first time we all rode out together, Nathan was leading as we sped around curvy climbing mountain roads. I have never ridden so fast in my life! He definitely enjoyed the thrill of the risk.
During the college years, I had the opportunity to see some of Nathan's work for various courses he took in Architecture. One time in particular, Dave took me to see a display of architectural drawings, the big final project for one of Nathan's classes. We walked all around the room, looking at the work of every student, and when we got to Nathan's, he had hit it out of the park. It was so evident in the originality, careful accuracy, neatness, beauty, and style of his work that Nathan was not just better than all these other folks, but that he was in a whole different league! It looked like the work of a seasoned professional and he was not even 21 years old.
Over the years, he helped many of us with various projects. I'll mention one or two. After Dave and I were married we purchased our first tiny home in Falls Church. Nathan supervised and did a lot of the work (with the other brothers) on our detached “shed” which we fitted with Sheetrock, windows, electricity, built-in shelves and desk so that it could function as a home office. It seemed that he knew how to do everything, and more importantly, how to “do it right” with the best tools. He was strong and willing to help, always with a great sense of humor. He taught us as he worked, and I learned a lot from him. Another project that comes to mind was my coffee table. Looking out at the woodsy back yard at the Wexford house on one visit, I saw an abandoned interior wood door. I went to Davide and said, “Davide, that is a coffee table.” My dear husband was skeptical, but Nathan understood exactly what I had in mind and was able to draft plans for a simple Parsons table and then show us how to build it. We used that table for many years in our living room, until we could afford a “real” table. Nathan also built a very sturdy tree house in a chestnut tree in back of our Fairfax home, which our family and friends still enjoy many years later. Now when I go up there, I'll think of him.
I have more memories of the Marneys at the Elizabeth Drive house during high school. It was a four-level split-level house, and it was the party house for all of the kids and their friends, and their friends, and so on. The bottom basement level was where the smokers and tokers hung out, including Nathan and Matthew, the next level up held the folks talking or making out, the main level had the musicians and the philosophers [the piano was there and the Marney himself, aka Dad, would hold court around the kitchen table and discuss deep topics in the middle of the night with the teenagers who came in to get food, a tradition which Dave is carrying on today]. The top floor, for those who are interested, was the retreat of Mrs. Marney, Angela, and the cats during these parties.
But I digress...The point is that on the bare cinder block walls of the bottom level, Nathan had painted a fantastic scene which covered most of one wall. And what did he paint? The Open Road. There was a beautiful clean black highway with a white dashed line in the middle, curving up and off into the distance. The landscape was green but clear except for one large lovely tree to the right of the road. It was a vision of peace, yet not static. The image was incredibly realistic yet almost dreamlike in its idealism, an unforgettable work of art, and an unforgettable expression of Nathan.
As I see that early painting now in my mind, I can't help but think of how Nathan chose to deal with the difficulties and sorrows that came later in his life. Once again he sold everything, bought a fine motorcycle, and hit the road. He traveled all over the West, exhilarated I am sure by the wide, open spaces. His last emails indicate that he was grateful to God for the chance to see and experience all this beauty. On our own mini exploration of the area, I was awed by the feeling of space, the different rock formations and mountains, the hundreds of varieties of cacti, all in bloom, the colorful sunsets, the kindness of the people, the “live-and-let-live” attitude, the feeling of being close to nature. I loved the way the houses were hidden behind natural landscaping so that you always felt you were alone in the desert no matter where you were, and I know Nathan would have loved this too. Even the highways were decorated with beautiful murals and collages of desert themes, made of native materials. There was so much care and foresight involved in making the roads beautiful as well as functional, and I know Nathan would have appreciated this too. It was a great place to ride a motorcycle.
There was such a feeling of peace there in Arizona. I think it would be hard to live in such an awesome place without recognizing that God created it all. God gave Nathan gifts of creativity, talent, kindness, generosity, intelligence, persistence, and a desire for excellence, and God possesses these same traits Himself in abundance. All the beautiful things a master craftsman can make are but smaller reflections of what God has made. My hope is that Nathan recognized this and turned to God in his last months, days, or even seconds. My hope is that he is now truly in a place of peace where he can ride and build and laugh forever, all the broken places healed, all the sorrows forgotten. The place of the Open Road.
As we were each part of Nathan's journey, now he has become part of ours. Although we will miss him, we continue our journey enriched by his spirit. God be with you, Nathan. Dona nobis pacem.
Janet A. Marney, June 1, 2005, Fairfax, Virginia
Janet Marney
January 2, 2006
Good very special morning to you, my beloved Natie. Today is Christmas--our first one away from you, and yours in Heaven away from us all too.
We know you know how we miss you unspeakably always and every moment in our hearts, but also that today particularly you smile upon us and receive our blessings and greetings.
May we all remember your perfect last words, my dearest second son:
"Hi, this Nathan. You know what to do."
Love forever from moi your mother, our own Marney, your brothers Matthew, Stephen, Davide, and sister Angela.
Jana Marney-Nelson
December 25, 2005
Our first Christmas without you Natie and how we miss you. I look at all that we do during this holiday and know that although we don't have you with us, you are looking upon us and smiling. The boys are missing you and remembering with great fondness all our family traditions. We still try to do them all. We talk about you every day and promise to carry you with us in everything we do. Merry Christmas
Trish
December 7, 2005
Memories of Nathan
I felt great shock and sadness when I learned of my brother-in-law's death due to a motorcycle accident on May 1, 2005. It seemed fitting for all the family to travel out to Phoenix, Arizona to see where he had died and where he had lived. On June 5, a little more than a month before Nathan would have turned 51, we held a Memorial Service there in the land which he had chosen to call home, surrounded by the majestic beauty of the Southwest. At that time I was too stunned to write down my thoughts; but, I did share some brief memories in tribute to Nathan at the service. As each person spoke, other memories would come to mind, and in this way we helped one another to remember the good things in the life of Nathan Marney. As time passes, I would encourage us all to continue to speak of him and to remember, for in this way he will remain alive in our hearts. Here are some of my memories of Nathan.
[To read the complete entry, email me. I have submitted the whole entry to this site several times, with no success. Thank you.]
Janet Marney
October 1, 2005
Thirty years ago Nate was our "dockman" at Horwood Outpost, a wilderness hunting and fishing camp in Northern Ontario. He was a wonderful employee--reliable, hard-working, good with guests-- and especially kind to our newborn daughter Kim. We soon grew to love Nate as he became much more than an employee and a part of our family. The only time we ever heard him complain was when he dropped a 45-gal. drum on his hand and split open a finger. We were shocked and terribly saddened to learn of his death; we had hoped to meet him again one day and tell his three boys what a great father they had.
Ron and Donna McIntosh
June 17, 2005
Never met Nathan but he must have been a great friend and father. kitty n
Kitty Nixon
June 6, 2005
3 June, 2005
Well, my Natie, dearest and only second son, today is your 51st birthday and I send greetings, infinite kisses and my love forever to you in heaven.
Later, we'll talk more here, so just for now, my precious Natie, an extra-special hug good night--and a tear--from moi.
Jana Marney-Nelson
June 3, 2005
Strong.
Quiet.
Gentle.
Kind.
Straight and plumb and square.
I'm happy that you had the chance to find relieve and happiness in Arizona.
Goodbye, older brother.
Stephen Marney
June 2, 2005
A Texas Winter
(for Nate)
The fire ants are moving
Not many, but enough.
Their industry is a mystery to me.
But that was when the earth
Was stomped with heat.
Now it is breezy with snow.
Here by chance
A fence and tree are bound close
Till the wire's spur is made mute.
Now laid to rest within the knot.
As for me
I am raising my arms
Against a fierce wind,
And the dreadful murmur
Of children's ghosts.
-AMarney
Angela Marney
June 2, 2005
Nathan was a fun loving, laid back breath of fresh air. And so generous of his time, never failing to appear to assist with a home project..we built at least 2 decks together. All he would ask for in return was an occasional beer.
I'll never forget the time he hitch-hiked from the D.C. area to come to our house in Williamsburg unannounced..just to spend the weekend with us and to have a little fun. He was so good with his kids as well as my son, playing games with them on their level and having a ball.
God bless you and rest in peace, Nathan, you are sorely missed by friends and family alike.
May 31, 2005
I remember the first time I met Nathan was in our home in Virginia and parked outside the sliding glass doors was his motorcycle. He was a gentle giant, watching in quite observation. He was always ready to take our son and his boys on some adventure - to play video games, movies, bowling, flying a kite on the beach, riding go-carts. Anything the boys wanted! And the best part was that he had as much fun as they did, if not more.
It's always such a sad thing when someone so young is taken from us. Nicknamed by my husband - we'll miss you "Boo".
Linda Kinsman
May 24, 2005
I never had much contact with "Uncle Nate" aside from whole-family events, but I am glad he was able to spend the time on Earth he could. As far as I could tell, he was a good father.
Rob Marney
May 23, 2005
Nathan did not know---because I did not know until his death---that he had always been my golden boy. Not because at 6’4” his blonde curls always commanded all the light in any family photograph, but because in life he revealed to me a precious quality not only of my son but of my father, with whom I had spent some agony in hope of words that never came.
Mysteriously, across the generations, John Leonard Marney and Nathan Leonard Marney---my father and my son---shared a love of family at a depth of feeling that was quite beyond any capability of words. They lived an axiom: that silence is the final language. That only in action, essentially in work together, in active sharing of a drive for precision and quality, in the skillful and graceful use of design and tools, or in leadership of a respectful enjoyment of wilderness could the love of a father be expressed with appropriate subtlety and power.
How thankful I am that, in the poem King of the Hill (1975) dedicated to Nathan, I may have been able to reveal to him the words that---despite his agonized hope---he would never hear spoken:
Oh, my father, my son! the speech of hands is eloquent,
the love-song of the foundryman transmissible across generations
to an inheritor of the heft and slight of tools
the quality-discerning eye, the stubborn will to stalk
elusive forms of excellence through this world’s seemings.
Oh, makers, builders! no loss of breath can end your speaking.
Voices silenced into steel will teach your devotionals.
Milton Marney
May 23, 2005
Though I was unable to spend much time with him in recent years, I have great memories of time spent with uncle "Boo" when I was a kid. He used to take me to the video arcade back when you had to drive for miles and miles to get to one just so we could play "Lunar Lander." We also had a great time going to the movies -- he took me to see Ferris Beuller's Day Off. He used to announce that the "Kid Disposal Machine" was entering the room, which meant that a wrestling match between us was about to start. Boo was a great uncle and was always a lot of fun. I'll miss you, big fella.
Adam Kinsman
May 23, 2005
I met Nathan when my son and I came out to visit my Dad. Nate was very laid back,and I could tell he loved kid's, loved riding his motorcycle, and loved life. He was a very thoughtful, and down to earth person. I know how much he loved his children, he was very proud of them. I am glad we got to spend time with you.
Michelle Gordillo
May 22, 2005
Dearest Nate we miss you so, you had become such a part of our family.You were such an appreciative person, loved everything I fixed for you.We had great conversation.Jim loved working with you and laughing with you.We met your beautiful boys.It was very sad to lose you Nate, but we will meet again.
You were like a son to us.
We Loved you
Mo,Jim McKay
Carefree, AZ
Maureen McKay
May 20, 2005
Soft spoken, never speaking ill of others, laid back and direct. These are just a few words to describe what a wonderful person you were to be around. Justin, Tyler and Sam knew they had the coolest father and it was obvious to watch the four of you together that the father/son bond was secure. Know that many will forever remember you in a fond and loving way. Thank you for being such a good friend to me, my family and my children. Rest now and forever.
May 20, 2005
Doing something you always loved, free and riding with the wind on your face, you found your Creator. God wanted it to be then and there but it happened when you were doing exactly what you like best. Lover of Nature, you were delighted with the beauty that surrounded you and treasure the love of your three boys. You never thought there were in these world difficult solutions to worldly problems and in your care free way brought often the phrase "No Problem" which I learned from you. Way ahead of us you went to the Kindom of Heaven but Nate we wish you to know that you are badly missed by every one that new you, specially your family. Wait for us because for sure we will be there
Carlos & Ethel Ruiz
May 19, 2005
Uncle Nathan was a very nice person and had very special gifts that no person will ever have again. I am sorry about Uncle Nathan dying but I am comforted by knowing that he died in the place that he loved.
Sophie Marney-Dejanikus
May 18, 2005
Uncle Nathan was a very kind man. He saw what other people saw and God is waiting in heaven. He found a place that he loved.
Claire Marney-Dejanikus
May 18, 2005
I never met nathan. I did here how he came to cavecreek and a little of his story, peace be with you nathan and god be with his faimly comfort them and gide them .
sean haggerty
May 17, 2005
I met Nathan when he came to Carefree Arizona lookin to start a new life after traveling on his motorcycle across the USA. He was moved by the desert scenery and the weather so he felt this was the place to be. There was something special about Nathan, it only took talking with him for a few minutes to know how sincere he was. He missed his boys alot and had hopes of sharing the beauty of Arizona with them. He had a lot of good things to say and was a very helpful, knowledgeable and considerate man. May you rest in peace Nathan, & take care.
Mark McKay
May 17, 2005
What I remember most about Nathan was his kindness and his patience. Back when he and Trish were dating, I sometimes went along on their dates. He was always very sweet to a young teen who was the fifth wheel. God Bless You, Nathan and give my Mom, Jackie a big hug.
Michelle Senigo
May 16, 2005
Nathan was a great father, a good husband, wonderful son and brother and if he was your friend he would do anything for you. He was quiet and never spoke ill of people. He was a kind soul... and he is missed by his three sons and surviving family desperately. We miss you, I hope you have found your peace.
Trish Conley
May 13, 2005
I did not know Nathan, but I wish I had. I found the accident scene late saturday night. May he rest in peace.
Ryan Bohner
May 5, 2005
Nate was a very good person, neighbor, father and friend. May you rest in peace now and forever. You will be missed my friend......Big Guy :)
We will miss you. You were and remain the coolest dude around.
Corey, Ryan and Morgan
Simone Benson
May 5, 2005
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