A flock of birds in flight,
Which had suddenly flown
From a number of trees,
Rose higher and higher
Like departed souls
Borne by gentle breeze—
Transcending the earth
And ever ascending toward
A place of eternal birth.
I'm thinking of you all the time. There are so many things I want to talk to you about. So many things I want to show you. So many questions I have… and it's YOUR answers and advice that I'm seeking. It never gets easier, Dad. Never feels any less surreal or shocking than it did the day our journey first began. I hope you will see how much I need you to keep showing me you're close by in ways that only you know how. I miss you so much. Wish I could rewind time. Love you, Allison
Mom came to visit last weekend and we went birding at Mount Auburn Cemetery. It is absolutely gorgeous there…. all the trees budding and flowers beginning to bloom, birds everywhere, and a wonderful peace about the whole place. Birdsong followed us everywhere we walked. It was a perfect morning. I remember visiting that place for the first time with you on one of our father-daughter Boston weekends. It feels like a step closer to heaven, entering those gates…. I know you were with us that morning and you gave me what I have longed to experience for over a year and a half now. That meant the world to me and gave me a peace that I cannot really describe. I finally *know* that you are still close by. I needed that. Thank you…. I love you, Dad, and miss you every day. ~Allison
It hasn't gotten any easier with time. The waves of grief have spread out some…. but when they hit, it's just as painful as ever. I have so many epiphanies in the moments when my heart is aching with sadness. I understand that this horrible pain will stay with me for the rest of my days and that it is up to me to find meaning in the experience and turn it into something positive in ways that I can manage. I'd still give anything to undo this entire reality. I still have episodes of total shock that lead to near panic attacks. It is awful that you are gone, Dad. I hate that I cannot hear your voice - there is so much that I want to talk to you about. I miss you. I still need my dad. The world is less kind in your absence…… Love you always, Allison
Today marked the first year without you. It hardly seems possible…. I still have moments when I feel stunned. The shock feels brand new and I have to grow accustomed to it, time and again. It's a horrible thing to try to "get used to." We are all carrying our grief around differently; Mom, Matt, and I. Watch over us and help us to feel your presence when you see that we are struggling. I miss you more than I can put into words, Dad. I can only hope that you knew how deeply I loved you and how grateful I was and still am that you were such a wonderful father.
"Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effort, without the trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval,somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well." By Henry Scott Holland. 1847-1918. Canon of St Paul's Cathedral
Larry it has been a year and yet it feels like just yesterday. Where is the time going? My only solice is that in God's time we will be back together. Wait for me. Marilyn
It's hard to believe that it's been six months now. "Half a year" sounds like a long time yet it feels like you were with us just yesterday. All it takes is closing my eyes to be with you again..... I wish I could slow time down. I don't want it to put distance between the present and the last time I saw you. I hate the thought of that. Missing you seems to get harder as time passes. Your absence feels more and more "real" and makes my heart so heavy. I know you'd be sad to see me struggling but I just can't seem to find peace. I think it will take a long time. I also think you'll help me along the way; it's what you always do. I love you, dad.
Happy Anniversary Larry - would have been 36 years today. May is a tough month this year. Chris died 4 years ago this month - Sunday was my first Mother's Day without you - yesterday was 5 yrs since my Dad died - and now today... our wedding anniversary.... my first one without seeing you or hearing your voice. This year of 'first' is hard. I really miss you. Love always, your Marilyn.
So many times I have felt like I am standing still in disbelief that any of this is real. I am doing my best to become "unstuck" but all it takes is a flood of memories to paralyze me all over again. I think of you so many times throughout each day and I miss you more than I can put into words. There is so much I want to share with you. I'm still struggling to figure out what I believe in and I hope you will help me answer those questions. I'm going to try very hard to spark some of the change I'd like to see in medical research and I need you to guide me.
I love you,
Larry, 3 months already. Still seems surreal to me. I miss my best friend - my soulmate. Whatever am I going to do with the rest of my life? MUK
Hi Larry. Yesterday was a difficult day - my first Valentine's Day without you. I placed a rose at your grave. Allison and Matt were good to me - they each brought me roses. I miss you terribly. Love, Marilyn
So I am starting a new year without you Larry. Not liking it at all! I think of you numerous times each day. Miss you too much but I know you are made whole again in Heaven. Love you for forever. Marilyn
Merry 1st Christmas in Heaven dear. Miss you terribly! Flooded with memories - going through the motions - not understanding - it's been difficult. If you watch over me and help me get through this, I WILL see you in Heaven. Love you always, Marilyn
Dear Evelyn and family,
We are so sorry for the loss of your son. You are in our prayers.
Jim Mokoski and wife Ann
Larry was truly a special person. He always had a smile on his face whenever we saw him and went out of his way to make everyone feel welcome. He will be missed by all who knew him.
Cousin Peter & Linda
I am so sorry to hear of the passing of Larry. My heart goes out to you and your famiy.
Sincerely, Nancy Goyette
Marilyn, Allison and Matthew,
Our prayers and thoughts are with you at this sad time. May the love of friends and family help you through this difficult time.
Dear Andy, Evelyn, Marilyn, Allison and Matt,
We are sorry for your loss. Lenny and I will remember all the great meals we shared, which Larry cooked with thoughtfulness and also our many discussions, especially about politics and the finer points of good wine and good food. He was a good man. We will miss him and the light he brought to this world.
Eileen & Len Copp
Mrs. Konefal, Allison and Matt
I am very sorry to learn of Mr. Konefal's passing. He was a good man and a kind soul and he will be missed greatly by those who had the privilege of knowing him.
To the whole family,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my heart and prayers through this difficult time.
I am so sorry for the loss of your loved one. Please find peace and comfort in Psalms 65:2.
I enjoyed talking with you and Larry the few times we met at Fran & Paula's house. I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Marilyn, Allison and Matt,
Paula and I are very sorry for your loss. As saddened as we are by your loss, we both are so grateful for all the richness Larry brought into our life. He truly was a special friend to us and we will miss him dearly.
Matt and family,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thinking of you at this difficult time.
Sorry to read the news of Larry's passing. He always had a kind word or phrase for me during our time at Berkshire.
Chris Wyman, Palm Harbor Fl
I had the pleasure of meeting this fine man when we took the Dale Carnegie course a few years ago. He was a true gentleman and full of love for his family. May he rest in peace and may you be comforted by your memories.
To Mr. Konefal's family,
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I enjoyed many conversations with Larry when he came to the hospital to visit patients. Larry was a very kind man that always gave his time to bring cheer to someone else. Rest in peace Larry.