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Beulah A. (Joseph) CILUIK

Beulah A. (Joseph) CILUIK

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June 28, 2016
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June 28, 2016
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March 25, 2016
happy 81st birthday in heaven mom ,I went to the cemetery today by myself to sing happy birthday to you I even had cake and a candle which I lit for you ,mom I love and miss you ,theres not a day that goes by I don't think about you ,,,mom I would give anything just to have you here for one more day ,I no you are here with us in spirit,god I wish I could see and hug or even just hear your voice ...
February 23, 2016
Everyday I learn a little more about you. I see your face in pictures and I see so much of my dad. My heart aches in so many ways for you both. I hear stories of you from everyone, I get to learn about you. And yet so many stories just remind me of my father and how you two are so much alike. Oh how much I wish for the impossible and how so much impossible has already been done.
You were so strong. I am in awe of you. Thank you for your guiding hand. One day, I will get to see you. Until then, rest in peace Grandma. I love you.
June 04, 2015
mom you would be so happy our brother albert his daughter found us,,,omg mom it is a dream come true,i truly believe you sent them to us wow its amazing, wish you were here to celebrate with us,here is a picture of him he is just perfect ,mom I love and miss you and dad.i look forward to the day we all meet again
May 16, 2015
Well tomorrow is the big day we all been waiting & hoping for..a day of closure..peace of mind & maybe even a little rest for the weary hearts.
Winter is over and we are having our mothers ashes buried at our fathers feet by the cemetery then the headstone will be installed a few days later after they get the foundation done. no doubt my brother will feel better having our mothers ashes out of his house and in a real resting place..as much as i want her headstone out of my house and put where it belongs..too heartbreaking to look at it everyday in our homes and i truly believe the last place we should mourn is in our homes where we are suppose to feel most at peace..Now we will have a proper place to go and mourn. Our mother wanted to be cremated & buried above my father somehow..was her lifelong last wish and though we never told her..we didn't think that was possible due to the section our father is in and how old that section is and every plot full. im so glad the cemetery made an exception and approved us to purchased a spot right on top of our father on his plot so we can give our mother her final wish & a respectful dignified resting place... though i know her soul is no longer there and the body is just a shell.. it would give us all comfort in knowing she got her last wish .Maybe i should be sad tomorrow but i know i wont be ..will be more bittersweet and more tears of joy then sorrow just knowing that our mother is finally where she belongs ..now maybe we can make peace with our loss and begin to really heal and find a way to let go of time lost..things said & left unsaid and just trust God in all this. Sometimes God has another plan..sometimes it includes suffering..but with suffering comes blessings.We have to become broken for God to make us whole.
April 17, 2015
Hi mom , Well todays marks your 1 year anniversery of leaving us .Its not getting easier and I miss you so much Even knowing how much better off you are ,how painless you live now, how whole your body is again (I hope you got the right finger back LOL),and how happy you are to be back with dad after waiting all those years ,I find my self still wanting you back everyday ,missing everything about missing MY MOMMA! who always told me oh you look like your losing weight to make me feel good .Always asking if daisy got any bigger when she was full grown lol .All the little things at the time that didnt matter have a whole new meaning now and memory I cant live without .Longing to call you when you never answered , or hold your hand again Just one chance to apologize for all the pranks and bad things I ever did ,To thankyou for being both Mother & Father since I was 11 so many things I wish I could say that now I pray to god to tell you everyday And to thankyou for letting me know your ok I love you momma things will never be the same But I know some how some way you are watching over us all everyday ,May you forever rest in peace fly high ove rthe rainbow and continue to dance in my dreams with you beautiful legs back kisses and hugs sent above xoxox
February 20, 2015
Dearest Mother, We write in this guest book as if you will find us here, Our inability to function without you is very clear.Yet we do function without you . Very soon will be another dreaded day your birthday another first we must endure , suffer thru . It shouldn't be that way it should be a celebration of your peace ,your pain free ,your everlasting love. But no we will struggle thru.Rest in Peace Dear Mother As we try to cope with the many firsts without you. love as always .
February 16, 2015
I miss you so so much I Love you and I got a picture of you on my backround on my tablet.
January 30, 2015
Just like a bad dream i push the day i lost you forever further and further away.
I rather be numb then to feel the sting.
Just doesn't seem right to have to hurt for you so much in life and now in death.
I guess my unconditional love for you mom is still all my heart knows..because id give anything just for a TINY bit of the time back we lost. Ill never hear now the words i needed to hear.never..that's what keeps my broken heart broken.

~Loving u always!
~J~
January 30, 2015
Just like a bad dream i push the day i lost you forever further and further away.
I rather be numb then to feel the sting.
Just doesnt seem right to have to hurt for you so much in life and now in death.
I guess my unconditional love is for you mom is still all my heart knows..because id give anything just for a TINY bit of the time back we lost. Ill never hear now the words i needed to hear.never..thats what keeps my broken heart broken.

~Loving u always!
~J~
December 25, 2014
mommy it's your first Christmas in heaven I hope your looking down at us and watching all your beautiful grandbabies and great grandbabies today as they wake with smiles and the joy in their heart that Santa has came so much love they have and joy they bring to us all not just tomorrow but everyday only thing missing is you but I know you wouldnt miss it for the world and even know we can't see you I know you will be here ,merry Christmas in heaven momma I miss you I love you and thank you for. The dance rip fly high over the rainbow you and dad both ,Always in my heart ... forever

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