"Somewhere Over the Rainbow Bluebirds Fly"
It's been last week two years, when in a restaurant I heard that song which always made me over sentimental & only in 2011 did I begin to dejavu why. Remember when I took you to the stage production of the Wizard of Oz days before your decline into the pits od Cdifficile hell? Despite your eminent sickness you insisted on going, & smiled & beamed as I cried with joy beside you? As you entered despair Oz became a living metaphor. Me as the Tin Man seeking a heart, your husband as Scarecrow after a brain,& skippy as cowardly lion grappling for courage. Duggan as wicked witch, Monica as Glenda the good & Mr Dweebus as the man behind the curtain. You who as Dorothy who was not there to be helped by yutzs like us, but rather to help us discover ourselves. Monica awed just the other day how you survived that, but more than survived passed to once more hold that baby bluebird where this iconic photo of you was taken. It would be your last bluebird however, because in 2012 they did not return & without them how could you fly? In September I took Oscar to the medicine wheel but in a veil of snow I had to retreat & not knowing where to go we became lost in the Black Hills, Before setting out I felt beyond the veil I would defy & therefore deny my entire memory of you. I was scared. It was a gateway only of fear. Beyond we became enveloped in a high valley of hundreds maybe thousands of bluebirds, and meadowlarks too. It was like a visualization of your perfect soul. It may have even been what Alberta looked like in your youth before the criminals of capitalism eradicated all possible beauty. We two old men stopped & wept & very well both knew we yearned for the same thing, that your sweet living face might have seen that miracle. We returned to the medicine wheel and made a small offering to your flight in the wind that transforms its stone to dust. Last night I dreamt all lucid & vivid of that place of great departure. All Shamanic & otherworldly, but that is me, not you. You are better. You are Bluebirds.