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June 19, 2014
Hi Daddy,

Just wishing you were here as always. Miss you so much. Many polka dots right now. could use one of our road trips and our long talks. love you lots. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
June 15, 2014
Miss you Daddy. Always will wish you were still here on earth with me. Happy Fathers Day Daddy. So proud to have you for my Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
April 24, 2014
For You Daddy. You will always be my light in the dark. lots of love, your kiddo.
April 24, 2014
Daddy,

Today is your names day. I miss you so much. So many changes in my life since God called you. So many that I wish I could sit and share with you. Wishing always that you were still here so we could go on one of our road trips and share the gift of conversation. I have never been able to talk with anyone like I could talk with you. I miss you more than words could ever describe Daddy. Please continue to guide me and watch over me. I know you are always near, never far away. Boldog neve napját. Örökké a szívemben. Szeretlek Daddy. Lots of Love, your kiddo,
December 13, 2013
Daddy,

Missing you with ally heart and being. Szeretlek lots of Love, your kiddo forever, Vera leigh
July 27, 2013
Daddy,

Tell Dianna I said hi and I miss her allready. I just cannot believe she too has gone to heaven. What am I gonna do without my besti? I'm so glad that she is not suffering anymore but I have another large empty. So many holes in my heart Daddy. Her and I were supposed to grow old together. One by one I am having to say goodbye to my friends and family. I know we will all be together again someday and will never have to say goodbye again but that doesn't take away the painful heart I have today. I miss you so much Daddy, like you I cannot imagine my life without her in it. Please give each other a great big hug from me and come and visit me. Love u D. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
July 02, 2013
Daddy,
I miss you more and more each day and with every breath taken. The loneliness I feel does not go away and no matter how hard I try to fill my day with busy the emptiness of my days remain. An empty place everywhere I go everywhere I am. An empty place only you can fill. I love you Daddy. I miss you with all my heart. Come and be with me. Szeretlek. lots of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh
June 16, 2013
Daddy,

Another Fathers Day without You. I hope you enjoyed our lunch together today and you like your flowers. I imagine Nagypapa is having a special Fathers Day now that both you and Józsi Basci Are with him and Nagymama. Boldog apuk Napja Daddy, Joszi Basci, & Nagypapa. Szeretlek. lots of love, vera leigh, your kiddo

ps. I miss you
June 11, 2013
Daddy,
I am sure you are staying close to Józsi Bácsi and Kathy. I know you, Nagymama, and Nagypapa, will be there. I Love you Daddy and I miss you more and more each and every day. You are always in my mind and my heart. My days have a huge empty in them...I miss all our times together and all the things we shared throughout the days. Our road trips, our lunches, our days at the lake, the lazy days on my back porch, your stories...I miss it all Daddy and as much as my heart still hurts today, even with time passing, I would not trade a minute of the love you and I shared to avoid the painful heart I have now. You have always been and always will be my best fried, my mentor, my confident, my hero. Thanks for being the best Daddy any girl/woman could ever have. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, vera (vela) leigh. sending you hugs and kisses always.
June 02, 2013
Szeretlek Daddy. I miss you more and more each and every day. Lots of Love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
March 16, 2013
Hi Daddy,

Loving and missing you with all my heart...Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, forever, vera leigh.
February 24, 2013
Missing you lots Daddy.

Lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
szeretlek
February 14, 2013
Daddy,

Thanks for the valentine....Szeretlek...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh...

p.s I miss you...lots
January 20, 2013
Daddy,

Two years ago this time you and I shared what would be your last meal kávé felhasznált tejszínrewould. Oh how you and I loved our coffee icecream, whether we ate actual kave icecream or vanilla icecream with hot coffee over it, we both thoroughly enjoyed it. What I miss most though is the conversations we would share over our kávé felhasznált tejszínrewould. It was never the food, drink, or even sometimes what we were doing but instead all the talks we would share. I long to have one of those talks with you tonite Daddy. One of those talks like we shared, what would be our last talk, two years ago tonight. Perhaps in my dreams Daddy. I miss you with every breath I take Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 19, 2012
Hi Daddy,

Just felt like saying Hi. Kind of silly. I know that I could just say it out loud and you would hear me but I like typing you messages. Perhaps it takes place of all the cards I used to give you. Missing you lots. Struggling with the itchy's today but surviving. Wish you were here so we could go for one of our long roadtrips through the city and you could tell me some of your stories. I miss so much, hearing your voice Daddy. Your laughter too. Christmas is coming quick. Hard to have it without you but what sustains me is the true meaning of Christmas. The celebration of the birth of Jesus. His birth is the reason someday you and I will reunite in God's Kingdom at which time we will never be apart again and instead together forever in eternity. How lucky is that. In the meantime I will live my life to the fullest and with the Grace of God and the strength and Love you have always given me. For even though you are not physically here your love and spirit remain and I am blessed to have shared that with you. I am blessed that you are my Dad and all that we shared. I Love You Daddy with all my heart. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh

P.S. Grades are in, I can hear you now. "Ver(l)a is a smart cookie, I can see the brains coming out." Only you Daddy. Luv Ya
December 14, 2012
Daddy,

I just wanted to shout out loud. "I Love You Daddy". Thanks for being my Daddy, I will always be your little girl, your ver(l)a leigh, your kiddo. You are always in my heart and soul. Never far away from you Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh

ps. Like the candle light will burn for eternity so will my love for you.
December 14, 2012
Daddy,

Another semester complete. I wish you were here so i could share it all with you. Everything is so different without you here. I always have the lonely's for you. Every day without you is a day without smiles in my heart. Come and visit me Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo forever and always. vera leigh
November 21, 2012
Daddy,

I miss you and my heart is hurting. Always lonely for you. Szeretlek Daddy.
lots if love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 21, 2012
Daddy,

Feeling you with me but missing you more and more every day. Szertlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

ps. I know and yes
September 12, 2012
Daddy,
Today's the day. Help your kiddo be the strong courageous woman you showed her she can be. I love you and I miss you very much. Every minute of my days but I know you are always with me. Szertlek Daddy. lots of love forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
August 26, 2012
Daddy,

Missing you with every breath I take. My heart and soul although connected continue to cry out for you. I miss being with you Daddy. I miss our long talks, your smile, your laugh, our road trips, your strong yet gentle hugs, sharing time together, saying good morning, saying goodnight, driving through Buckeye with you and hearing you tell me your stories. Without you my life has forever changed and although I am doing what I should, embracing life, there is always a missing part. That part is you Daddy the part that filled my days, hours and minutes with so much of life's pleasures. I Miss You Daddy and I will forever hold you in my heart. Thank you for being my Daddy Szertlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh
August 16, 2012
Daddy,

Such a wonderful experience, I kno you were right there holding on. Another gift from you. Missing you lots though and feeling sad I guess I'm getting old cause it's 7:30 pm and I am going to bed and watch a little mindless TV. THANK YOU FOR BEING MY DADDY and for LOVING ME ALWAYS. SZERETLEK DADDY. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
August 15, 2012
Daddy,

I Love You. I Miss You. For you Daddy. See you in the sky and then lunch and palinka. With your wings. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, your little girl forever, vera leigh

ps. Polka dots and more polka dots
August 04, 2012
Daddy,

Celebrating joeys graduation, the last of your grandsons, well grand kids for that matter. Lots of food, music, family , friends. It is so stange though without you, bob and Fr Al. Plus mom and Loretta are both home sick. Everyone cannot believe the change in me. I just tell them it's all the love I feel from you. And all. Köszönöm Daddy. I miss you terribly but you are in my heart right here with me and we will never truly be apart. Szeretlek, lots of love your
kiddo, vera leigh

Ps send me a sign. I know you will. Love you
July 30, 2012
Daddy,

Your kiddo is just Hungarian hillybilly proud. I miss you Daddy. You are with me every second, minute, and hour in time. I Loved you when you were here, I love you even though you are gone, I will always Love you cause your the best Daddy Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. I know you know what is on my mind and I know you will make all my wishes and dreams come true because you always have. Köszönöm szépen Daddy. I still need you and I always will.
July 25, 2012
Daddy,

Missing you with every breath I take. I cannot believe what today is, it has been way too long since I heard your voice, touched your hand, kissed your cheek, gave you a great big hug , and felt your strong yet gentle arms around me. I miss it all Daddy and if I could I would turn the minute, hours, and days back too have another moment with you. You are and always be forever in my heart and soul. Szertlek Daddy. lots of love forever and always, your kiddo, vera leigh
July 16, 2012
Daddy,

From Country Dancing to the Csardas. What a weekend...First Toby Keith concet then the Ukranian Festival on Saturday...

I had such a great time at the concert with the Princess, Missy, and Sally. Jr. was there too...We danced, laughed, and sang all night. After we went to the bar something I have not done since you've gone. Wasn't sure how I felt about that but when I saw this hanging on the wall I knew I was right where I was supposed to be...Koszonom Szepen...Daddy

On Saturday we all went to the Ukranian Festival...the one you and I have gone to many times before...there I danced the Csarda with Janie and of course ate all that great food. What a weekend, cherishing my heritage, from both my hillybilly side to my Hungarian side...who woould have thought, just like you've always said to your three girls, I truly am one of your "Hungarian Hillybillys"

On a sadder not Daddy, Jozsi Basci is not doing to well as he was taken back to hospital. I know you are watching over him and Cathy closely and sending them your strength and love. Asking God for to guide us in whatever His will will be.

Daddy I cannot thank you enough for all you have given me and still are...I am so lucky that you are my Daddy and that you taught me soooooo very much...most importantly about love...what a gift you have given me Daddy...Koszonom Szepen...Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh (your youngest Hungarian Hillybilly)
July 13, 2012
Daddy,

Your Hungarian hillybilly kiddo, is off to Blossom Music Center for some more country music ..Toby Keith...one of our favs...I know while I sit or should I say dance on the lawn and I look up I will see you there...thanks for being my Daddy...I Love You More than ever with every passing day ...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

ps thank you for teaching me that it is important to have fun in life and that if someone in your life matters you need to make sure they know it...szeretlek
July 11, 2012
Daddy,

Going to bed early, seems like i am going to sleep earlier and earlier and getting more tired than before. That's okay though it just means that I have to pay attention and listen to what my body is telling me. Major itchy's tonight too. I miss you with all my heart and soul Daddy and I wish always that you were still here on earth with me. I know we will be together again and that keeps me going. Everyday done is a day closer to my dreams both here on earth and in eternity. I know you know what my deepest hearts wishes are and I believe you will help me make them happen through your unending love and strength. Köszönöm szépen Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh

ps please ask God sooner than later and just let it be okay. I know and believe it is right and meant to be.
July 07, 2012
Daddy,

It's another hot day here. You know where I'll be. "In the Pontoon." Missing you with all my heart and soul Daddy...and wishing always that you were here...Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

ps. keep watching over me...and sending it all...koszonom szepen
July 04, 2012
Daddy,

I missed you so much today. Everyone came over for our cookout and to swim. We made szalona kenyar but without you, Bob, and Fr. Al it just wasn't the same. I kept myself busy so I didnt have to think so much but so many moments that familiar hurt would surface. The hurt of you not being here. I always feel it Daddy. I am living and doing like I know you would want me too and I feel the love of all of you inside me filling me up. I just wish you guys were all here. Although today I could here you say "it is hot as hell". And you would have mostly stayed inside sitting at the kitchen counter with your szalona and cold kávé or Pabst and of course your Pall Mall's talking with me as I cooked and prepared everything. Today is indepence day. Thank you Daddy for serving this country so we could have freedom. Szeretlek Daddy. I Miss You with all of my heart. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
June 29, 2012
Daddy, Off to the Rascall Flats Concert with Maureen...Tell Mr. Kelley (Tim), That Maureen and I know that both of you will be with us and watching over us. It's gonna be a scorcher...lots of water... I Love You Daddy...Missing you...Although Maureen and I know that might be some tears shed we know you are both going to be with us...and we are going to have a blast. Szeretlek Daddy...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh ps. Mr. Kelley...love your kiddo too...lol
June 19, 2012
Daddy,

Sitting here at Caribou remembering all the good talks we had. How I would love to be able to sit and share a conversation with you. I miss so much the sound of your voice and your sense of humor. Your hugs too Daddy. I love you and I miss you terribly. I hope you heard me earlier. Thank you for the sign yesterday. When I receive them it helps me know you Re still here. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, ver leigh
June 19, 2012
Daddy,

Having a rough night. Having trouble sleeping and my pain is really high tonight. My skin is so terribly itchy and well we know what that means. I wish you were here. Could really use one of your strong yet gentle hugs. Szeretlek Daddy. I miss you. lots of love, your kiddo, Vera leigh
June 17, 2012
Daddy,

Today is Father's Day...such a bitter-sweet day for me. So blessed and happy that God chose you to be my Daddy, but so very sad that you are not here to celebrate with and to honor and love you on this very special day. Because of you and the love you gave me every day for me was kiddo day. My mere words cannot express how thankful I am because of you. I only hope that I made you feel like every day for you was Daddy Day. If you were here we would be having a picnic and having Salona kenyér with you, Bob, and Fr. Al. and perhaps the rest of the family. I miss you Daddy, I miss sharing my life and my love with you. I know that you are with me always in my heart. I still wish though that you were here physically. You were and always will be the absolute bestest in my life...how lucky I am to have had the blessing of your love. Boldog apák napja. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love forever and always, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
p.s. I MISS YOU
June 15, 2012
Daddy,

Can you feel the love Daddy? It's amazing Daddy. Like fireworks in my heart. Szertlek Daddy, forever in my heart past, present, and future. lots of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera Leigh

ps. together once more
June 13, 2012
Daddy,

As I lie here thinking of days past I remember the love you gave me and how beautiful a love it was and still is. I carry that love you gave me with me in all I do. There is not a moment in my days and nights that you are not with me and I with you. I am not quite sure where I am going or the plan that God has for me but I do know that with the strength of your unconditional love I will be okay. So much has happened over the past several months and the pain is at times unbearable but my faith in God as well as my trust in you and Him keeps me going. It is in that that I am no longer afraid. No longer afraid of what is behind the next doorway, because I do know that there is also an open window waiting for me to leap through. You taught me that Daddy not only by watching you throughout my life but through the love, care, guidance and understanding you gave to me. You truly have been there for me in no uncertain terms and have given me the greatest gift of all; your unconditional love. How lucky I am to have you for my Daddy, what a treasured gift you are. I know that we will be reunited and that our love for each other as powerful as it is is what kerps us forever connected. Even though i truly know this i miss our days together. I miss you so much Daddy and my heart hurts inside but at the same time it feels the joyfulness of your love. Köszönöm szépen Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love from my heart to yours, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh

ps please tell My Girl that I will never forget all the love and companionship she gave me and that I miss her terribly. One year ago today God sent her ahead to join you and her sister and brother in preparation for my arrival. Tell her that her mommie loves her always and she will always be my big fury baby.

Daddy, see you later alligator -and will hear your reply.
June 11, 2012
Daddy,

Nothing more...nothing less. I just wanted to tell you that I Love You and I Miss You. My heart and soul long for days together. I hope you like your picture. Szeretlek, lots of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh (emlékül)

ps. Please tell My Girl I miss her terribly as well as Insti and Goldie. Let them know that their mommie never forgets.
Also can you please ask God to watch over Nancy and Ed, Thy will be done.
June 09, 2012
Daddy,

Fr. Al and now Teresa too a week apart...Heaven's gates keep opening for all the people I love...trying to tell myself that all of you will be waiting at the gate for me when it is my turn...I miss you all...Please give Teresa a hug for me and tell her I love her...tell her dad too that I cherish, and always will, the manger he hand carved for me. I will miss celebrating her birthday with her. I know she is with her family now and at peace but I will miss her much. Another person I Love in Heaven. Szeretlek Daddy, I miss you with all my heart and soul...Emlekul...thanks for the message. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh.

p.s. still waiting for the results.
June 08, 2012
Daddy,
Missing you with all my heart and every breath I take. My soul is crying out for you. Doctors and many tests. Now more waiting and waiting. Come be with me and help me sleep tonight. So tired Daddy. Itchy, painful, and just so uncomfortable. Need my Daddy. You could always comfort me when I felt this horrible. I miss talking with you and hearing your voice. I love you Daddy with all my heart and I am so lonely for you. Emlékül. Szertlek, your kiddo, vera leigh

ps come hold my hand Daddy
June 01, 2012
Daddy,

I Love You with every breath I take. lots of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh

ps emlekul. please come be with me. All of you.
June 01, 2012
Daddy,

In a few short hours I will be going to Buckeye Road to the Abbey for Fr. Al's wake. This all just seems so unreal Daddy...I cannot believe he is no longer going to be here with all of us. No more family gatherings, dinners, visits, phone calls, parties. So much empty Daddy. Not because any of you chose to leave, but instead because God called all of you to join in His kingdom. I miss you Daddy, and now I will miss Fr. Al too...So much loss lately...some not by choice and well one by choice. It just seems like way too much anymore. I Love You Daddy, and my heart misses you more with every day that passes...Please tell Bob, Fr. Al, Renee, Dora, my furry babies, and even Fr. Rosko that I said Hi and that I miss them all...and that I will always love them. Please let them know how honored and grateful I am that they chose to be in my life. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
May 27, 2012
May 26, 2012

Daddy,

Today Heaven became an even brighter place as Fr. Al joined you in eternal life. I bet the angels rejoiced when he arrived So sad for all of us here, but joyous for all the Buckeye Road gang in heaven. He has always been such a special part of our family and a very special friend. I will miss him terribly and my tears are many. Please tell him I said hi and that I will miss him always and thank him for all he has given me. I can see you, Bob, and he talking together and probably eating szalona kenyar. On Nagymama's birthday too. Just so very very sad Daddy and more empties, empty places at our table and in our hearts. I miss and love you all so much. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

ps luv you Fr. Al. Already missing you and thank you.
May 25, 2012
Daddy,

Today there is a sadness in my heart because I know that soon Fr. Al will be joining you and others for that heavenly Buckeye Road Reunion...I as well as many of us cannot imagine a world without Fr. Al in it. He has always been so kind and loving and has been our family priest for as long as I can remember. Whenever any of us needed something, a visit, a prayer, a comforting shoulder he has always been right there by our sides offering his kindness, his humor, his compassion and his ear. He is and has always been family. Another empty place at the family gatherings. I will truly miss him. I know that you will be one of the one's to be at heavens gate when he arrives. Please tell him I said Hi. More importantly Daddy, please ask God to not let him suffer. I Love You Daddy, I Miss You Daddy...Szeretlek, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
May 25, 2012
Daddy,

Just wanted to shout out loud "I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU DADDY with every breath I take. please come be with me. Szeretlek lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
May 22, 2012
May 21, 2012

Daddy,

It is so hard to believe that 35 years ago today my life changed in an instant. A day of hurt, pain, confusion, anxiety, and fear. I know that day hurt you as much as it did me. It changed both of us. As difficult and painful as that fateful day was for you as well as me, I would go back and endure it all over again just so we could be together once more. Thank you for standing by me through all I went through that day and for many, many days, months, and years to follow. I could not have gotten through all of that without you Daddy, you were my rock, my confidant, my support, my friend, my Daddy. How blessed I am, even though I had to go through that horror, I had you standing by my side the whole way through. You put your pain aside so you could help me overcome. Thank you Daddy for loving me that much. I Love You Daddy, then, now, and forever. lots of love always, your kiddo, vera leigh
May 19, 2012
Daddy,

Come be with me today as I connect with my spiritual self while spending the day at Ursuline and taking part in the Lakota weaving traditions and spirituality workshop. I am really hoping that this helps me feel a little better both physically and mentally. I will be thinking of you all day and sharing all I do with you. Come be with me Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy, Emlekul, your kiddo, vera leigh
May 14, 2012
Daddy,

Please tell Nagymama Boldog anyák napját and that I hope she liked her flowers. I hope you liked yours too. Thank you Daddy for always remembering me on mothers day and remembering that even though my baby is not here with me that I am a mom too...you are the only person that ever acknowledged me on mothers day, and it always touched my heart.

Today turned out to be an okay day. Still very very tired but okay. We all went to mom's house for mothers day and although I really cannot cook anymore I did. It was hard though because I always made Paprika csirke with you but I struggled through and everyone liked it especially the nookedli. It was not yours but no one could ever make it like you.

Mom seemed to have a nice day, but I as well as Janie and Louise(Loretta) are quite concerned about her. The princess checked her out a little and said that she really needs to go to the doctor because her heartbeat is irregular and missing beats. Please ask God to watch over her for us. Louise is still so sick Daddy, she needs the grace of God to come and help her body begin to heal. She looks so tired and has such a difficult time.

As for me, well I am as okay as I can be for this moment...I am right where I am supposed to be...I have no plans tomorrow except to sleep, sleep, and then sleep some more. My body and my mind just really needs the rest. I have to call for my tests tomorrow which I am a little uneasy about but I will get through like I always do. I miss you so much Daddy. My days are long and even lonely without you. I am so forever changed since you have gone. My world is so different, my life, my days, my nights, all of it is just different. I miss talking with you Daddy and sharing it all. Please come to me in my dreams and talk with me...I will be right here. Szeretlek Daddy, emlukel. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

May 13, 2012
Hi Daddy,

It's just me, your kiddo...I am feeling a little better today...still so very tired and my arms and legs they feel like they have weights tied to them...I don't like being this tired....have so much I would like to do as well as need to do..but for now I guess I will need to rest in between it all.

It is official, I completed my first semester, and yes Daddy, I was not planning on it, but, I did get all A's. I can hear you now; "Ver(l)a Leigh looks smarter, I can see the brains coming out of her head."

You were always so proud of me Daddy. I am proud of me too this time...with everything that has happened I am going ahead regardless. All the hurt, pain, sadness, and ill is not going to prevent me from achieving the life I was meant to have and I will continue to keep my eyes and heart open. After all Daddy, I am your daughter, your tough cookie, even though many times lately I don't feel so tough I know the stock I am made of...I have you inside of me.

Most don't realize that once I make my mind up I am unstoppable and no star is to far for me to reach. I know that my heart is made of glass but it is also huge and that it why I get hurt so much, but I also know that it is part of the me that I have always been and a part of what makes me special and unique. Like you Daddy, I have a huge heart and when I care and love I put myself out there because it matters. Afterall, in the big picture of life isn't that what really matters. I may get knocked down but I always get back up again, it's who I am, and what I am made of. Like you have always told me "I can do and have anything I desire I just have to believe and work hard." I am doing that now Daddy. Doing it for you but also doing it for me.

I Love You Daddy, for loving me with that wonderful heart of yours and for also accepting me for who I am and allowing me the honor of loving you. It will always be my own treasure. A treasure that is inside of my being. Thank you Daddy. Thank you for being the bestest Daddy any little girl, teenager and woman could have ever asked for. When God picked you for me He really knew what He was doing. Szeretlek, your little girl forever and always, but also the woman you raised me to be, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. I will continue to live with "no more ...."
May 12, 2012
Daddy,

It,s three o'clock in the morning and I am so sick right now. My pain level is so high I cannot seem to get it under control. All I want to do is sleep and try and dream of better days, days behind me but my body won't allow me the peace I need. This is so hard Daddy and I feel so alone in it. I wish you could be with me now to help me like you have so many times before. Your kiddo is not such a tough cookie tonight. I want to be but I guess my illness is getting the better of me. Please send me the strength I need to get through this tonight. Send me one of your strong yet gentle hugs. How I would love to hear you say my name and tell me szeretlek. If I close my eyes will you hold me? Hold me tight so I am not so afraid. Be with me. I love you now and forever. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

ps. no more bells unless it's you saying "hells bells"
May 11, 2012
Daddy,

Really missing you with all my heart and soul...my spirit is broken and I just need you...please come be with me....I Love You now and forever, I Miss You always...szeretlek, emlukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
May 10, 2012
Daddy,

Just polka dots Daddy. Itchy, itchy polka dots. So not feeling well Daddy. Please come hold my hand. Needing you now more than ever Loving you with every breath I take. Szeretlek Daddy. Please don't forget me i am right here lots of love forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
May 05, 2012
Daddy,

Today I'm going to cathys and Josii Bascis 50th anniversary party. How do I go to this without you Daddy. Such bittersweet. You would have loved this. All the people you know as well as the west virgians. I will go for you Daddy, I will go for us, but my heart will be hurting the whole time. There will be an empty everywhere. Just like in my heart an empty only you can fill. I will never be okay with you not being here Daddy. I miss you more and more each day and with every breath I take. My heart and soul cry out for you and my spirit is broken. I look around and you are not here. In everything I do I miss you and wish we were together once more. Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül. Lots of love foreve in my heart , your kiddo, your little girl, vera leigh
April 25, 2012
Daddy,

Polka dots Daddy polka dots. I miss you more than my heart and soul can bear. Please come be with me Daddy. Wishing for one of your strong yet gentle hugs and wanting to hug you back. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love forever, from my heart to yours, your kiddo, vera leigh
April 24, 2012
Daddy,

465 days is just too long. My heart and soul are crying out for you. Needing you more and more with every breath I take. I will forever love you Daddy you are inside my heart and soul. Somehow Daddy ask God to help you help me and bring the music back into my life Wishing you could just be here with me. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
April 20, 2012
Daddy,

Your kiddo's heart is broken. Please come hold me tonight Polka dots Daddy polka dots. Szeretlek Daddy. Forever and ever. I know you are the only person that understands my heart. We shared the same. Please be with me but more importantly let me be with you Daddy. I Love You with every breath I take and will forever until my last breath. lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
April 09, 2012
Daddy,

Boldog Húseveti. szíven melyen. Ebben egyetértek veled. Isten adja, hogy mi voltunk egymás után. A kapunál várlak. Rengeteg szeretet, szerzo kiddo, vera leigh. 

Ps nem kel többet mondanom.
April 08, 2012
Daddy,

Missing you with every breath I take. My heart aches for you and I long for the day when we are together once again. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your little girl forever, your kiddo, vera leigh

ps I am so not feeling well tonight will you please come be with me. It is almost Easter too. Our special holiday. I love you Daddy
April 07, 2012
Daddy,

My heart is breaking. Please come be with me and hold my hand. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
April 01, 2012
Daddy,

It is April 1st and I am missing you terribly...I know that I am not going to hear you call me first thing and tell me something and then say "April Fool"...how you loved to joke aroung. My heart is broken into a million zillion pieces...I don't know if the pieces will ever fit back together again Daddy...without you here it is just tooooo hard. My days are very long, and very lonely and empty. No one ever made me feel the way you always did, like they were happy to see me, to be with me, to talk with me...I miss our morning phone calls...you have always been the first person I would talk to when I woke up and now everytime I awake I am reminded that there is no phone call. No on to say to me "What's up kiddo" or "Hello ver(l)a leigh. I wish they had telephones in heaven, at least then I could talk with you, and we could share our day via conversation at least...

Being apart from you this long is just so unbearable. Everyone thinks I am doing so well because I am going to my classes, doing my work, running around, cleaning etc. What they don't know is that on the inside I am screaming, crying, and aching with every core of my being. I learned along time ago how to put a smile on my face even when I was hurting and I guess that is what I have to do now.

I know you would never have gone if you had a choice, you have always been there for me and would do anything for me when needed...I too have always been there for you...How lucky I am to have had someone in my life that I could trust completely and know that no matter what they would never leave and walk away. In todays world no one really cares about each other, they meet, they talk, mostly phony talk, they even give phony hugs, then they walk away and leave as if you never even mattered or existed...Daddy. With you I never felt left and even now that you are gone I don't feel like you left me. I know you would not have gone and would have done anything to stay with me if you could.

We had such a special relationship, noone really understands the deep bond you and I shared...Many just think that my Dad died, but what they don't know is that I died too...on the inside...from that moment you took your last breath my world crumbled and life stopped for me, life as I knew it and life ahead of me...My Daddy died but so did my best friend, my confidant, my comfort, my companion, my support, my cheerleader, my chauffer, my hero, my person with whom I always knew would be there, who loved and cared about me unconditionally and who I loved and cared about unconditionaly. I am never gong to feel that excitement because you are walking up my driveway or because we are going out somewhere, or because we are together. I am always empty inside now Daddy, I have this huge hole in me and even though it is a hole, it is wrenced in sadness and heartbreak. I just miss you so terribly much Daddy and that will never go away...just like the love we shared will to never go away...Please come visit with me Daddy, come and sit with me and share a cup of coffee and tell me some of your stories, come and hold my hand and laugh and cry with me. I am really not feeling well Daddy and I just need you so...I Love You Daddy, with every breath I take. Szeretlek. Please don't forget me Daddy...I am right here waiting. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
March 31, 2012
Daddy,

I miss you so much my heart physically hurts. I just cannot believe that you really aren't coming back. Living without you is by far the most hardest thing I have ever had to do. I want to see you Daddy and I want to sit and talk with you. I have so many things I need to talk with you about. I miss all the moments we shared and all the things we were still going to do. How do I do this Daddy. My life is so forever changed since you've gone and it is is lonely without you. You always brought a smile to my face but more importantly to my heart and now my heart is so full of sadness. I really don't like this and now there is even more loss and empty. Too much Daddy just too much. It seems like every time I turn around someone else leaves and goes away. It just plain outright hurts.

I have been taking part in the busy student retreat this past week and next. I can hear you now asking me "how Sr. Chrissi is doing? and Make sure you take her some palinka." then we would both laugh. We shared so much together Daddy.

The retreat although tiring has been really good for me. I also have met a new Ursuline Sister. Sister Beverly Ann. She is really quite a remarkable woman and I know you would like her. In the few times we have spent together I have both learned and gained so much both spiritually and intellectually She truly is an inspiring person in all she does and I thank God for bringing her into my life.

I miss you Daddy. Please come be with me as I try to sleep through the pain and the itchys. I love you with every breath I take and my heart and soul cry out for you. Szeretlek Daddy. Please don't forget me or where I am. lots of love forever and always, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. I bet you have allready met up with Fr Rosko. I can hear him now saying "Grassy, Bela. Hogy vagy." tell him for me I will always remember how kind he was to me throughout grade school and especially when he talked with me after Cleo died. Tell him I said "köszönöm szépen. Again Daddy more loss. Everyone is leaving. I Love You. I Miss You.
March 30, 2012
Daddy,

I have had such a long and tiring day. So many things are going on and I just don't feel well in the midst of it all. Sometimes it is all just way too much. I am so tired of not feeling well Daddy. I try to make it look like I am okay but I hurt all the time. Even so though the hurt is nothing compared to the hurt I feel since you've gone. It is so hard to be away and apart from you. So much sad pain and lonely. And then now more empty. I will just keep going Daddy and doing the best I can. I want you to be proud of me. I hope you are. Please daddy if you have any pull up there would ask God to help my doctors make me better allready. I am so tired of it all. I miss you Daddy. I love you. Please don't forget where I am. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
March 27, 2012
Daddy,

I have so much to say so much go tell you. I want to sit and share and be with you like we always were. My heart is all turned inside out and upside down and the hole in it just keeps growing. I am so very tired Daddy and so lonely. I miss being with you. I miss the melody of your voice, the way you smell, your laughter, your face, your smile, your voice, when you are all riled up about something in the paper or on the news. I miss the me I am with you and the love we had for each other. I miss all those moments that we shared. Your stories how I would live to hear you tell me one of those now. When you were here I relished on them and I would give anything to just be with you and listen once again. Daddy I just don't know how to do this without you. My days are so long and lonely. My heart has empty im it. More pain Daddy, more loss. I just don't know anymore. I am tired of having to say goodbye. Please come be with me Daddy, come and sit on the edge of my bed and be with me like you used too I am just so tired and feeling so alone. I could really use one of your strong yet gentle hugs and one of your " I will help you kiddo" moments. Szeretlek Daddy. Please don't forget me. lots of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh
March 24, 2012
Daddy,

My heart is breaking. Please come be with me. Missing you with all my heart and every breath I take. Just like this candle will forever burn so will my love for you. Szeretlek Daddy. Please don't forget me. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. you know my wishes Daddy and I know you will do all you can do for me as you always have.
March 21, 2012
Daddy,

I just wanted to say I LOVE YOU...and shout it out loud so hopefully you can hear me...My heart misses you so terribly much Daddy and it aches for you and all that we shared...so many moments filled with love, laughter, companionship, friendship, and sometimes even tears and sadness. I will never stop wishing you were here...my life is forever changed and it will never be complete without you...I long for the day when you and I can once again be together...then Daddy...we will never be apart because we will be together in eternal life. Szeretlek Daddy...Please don't forget me...I am right here...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
March 17, 2012
Daddy,

I know you were smiling down on your three Hungarian gypsy girls today as Janie and I helped Louise (Loretta) get ready so she could go to a wedding tonight for a little while. Knowing you you were probably watching us saying "there's my three Hungarian hillybilly's, painting there faces." all the while laughing. I know the three of us being together brought a smile to your face and a tear in your eye.

Please tell Jennifer that her aunti bera will always miss our St. Patrick Day together time and going to the parade.

I miss you so much Daddy and I always wonder what you are doing. Are you okay? Are you happy? I hope so much that you are happy Daddy and enjoying yourself. I also hope so much that you don't hurt anymore. I still cannot stand being without you Daddy but I still want you to be okay. I live my days now to get a day closer to my time so we can once again be together. When that happens my shattered heart will once again become whole again and it will be the most magnificent reunion. Szeretlek Daddy. Please don't forget me. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
March 16, 2012
Daddy,

Just wanted to tell you that I love you with every core of my being. My heart and soul cry and long for our days together. I miss you terribly and my heart is broken, like the earth splits open in an earthquake my heart split open and crumbled the moment you took your last breath. Please know that I am here Daddy and I always will be as I always have been. Szeretlek Daddy, please don't forget me. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
March 15, 2012
Daddy,

Just polka dots Daddy. Itchy, itchy polka dots. So not feeling well Daddy. Please come hold my hand. Needing you now. Loving you with every breath I take. Szeretlek Daddy. Please don't forget me i am right here lots of love forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
March 14, 2012
Daddy,

I have never had such a wonderful love like the love I shared with you my entire life. I am so lucky and blessed to have had you in my life loving me, caring about me, letting me always know how much I mattered, how important I am in this world, and that I am special, just because I am me. I am also lucky that I had you to love. You truly gave me so much Daddy, the things in life that matter most. You never left me longing for those things, and I always felt loved by you, my Daddy, the man who always brought a sparkle to my life, my world. Now I am left here in this place without you, and it is so very hard and painful Daddy. It has left me longing, longing for moments spent with you, missing your love, missing that feeling of excitement because Daddy's here, missing the sparkle in my world, missing you, my Daddy, missing the love I only have for you. Your leaving Daddy, is by far the most horrific thing that has ever happened throughout my life and the pain inmeasurable. I am trying Daddy, trying to put one foot in front of the other while I walk with my pain, a pain that has and will forever be a part of who I am now, just like your love for me and my love for you is forever a part of who I am. It is what I have to do, what I have to do for you and for me. I know you would not have it any other way for me, your kiddo. I know that somehow Daddy you are helping me from where you are, holding my hand through my tough times, loving me still especially through the lonely moments. Giving me the courage to live until we are together again and putting things in my life to help me. I miss you Daddy and I Love You. That for me wil never change, it will always be part of me the me I am now without you. Szeretlek Daddy. Please don't forget me Daddy, for I am here, your ver(l)a leigh, your kiddo, right where I have always been, in your heart. lots of love forever and always through eternity, your kiddo, vera leigh
March 11, 2012
Daddy,

Are you laughing at me and with me from Heaven. Between the coffee I spilled all over me on Tuesday and then again last night, and now the juice I just spilled all over me you must be laughing. I can also hear you saying, "ve(l)ra, you should be more careful. Are your hands bothering you again? Mostly though I know we would be laughing together about it. I miss those moments Daddy, our laughing together about ourselves. I miss you Daddy. I Love You very very much. Please don't forget I'm here Daddy. lots of love forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
March 09, 2012
Daddy,

You would be so happy if you were here. They found D guilty and he is going to prison. I know howuch when you were here thAt you wanted this. I love you daddy. Your kiddo, Vera leigh
March 08, 2012
Daddy,

It was such a beautiful day today...you would have loved the weather...We would have went for a drive through Buckeye for sure...and you would have told me many of the stories of your life on Buckeye...I would have listened and hung on every word...then because it was windy we would have taken a drive to the lake and watched the waves crash against the break wall...we would have talked about so many things...we always were able to talk about everything...and anything...after that we would have gone to lunch to one of your favorite out of the way little diners...you always knew that best little places to eat...nothing fancy, that wasn't you, simple but always clean and delicious...then we would have gone to get the neighborhood news, because it is Wednesday after all...you would have gotten four of them...two for you, one for me...and one for just in case...then we would have either gone back to your place or to mine...and you would have read it to me...and told me all about the goings on...then we would have talked some more, and even laughed...I miss those times Daddy...I miss our together times, they were simple but yet always so special...we loved being together and we enjoyed each others company soooo much...It is so hard for me now that you are not here to share those moments with...I miss you Daddy...I miss you all the time...I am doing okay...but there is a place inside of me that feels lonely and empty...it is the place that only you can fill...I know how lucky I am that you were my Daddy...and that we had the kind of relationship that we did...I just never wanted it to end Daddy...I wanted us to be together forever...from the time I was a little girl...I looked up to you...you were my hero, my confidant, my friend, my comfort, my stability, my security, you were my Daddy...the man who I saw moonbeams in his eyes and treasured all my life. I miss you Daddy...I miss your voice, your laughter, your face, the way you walked, the way you said my name, the way you smelled...the smell of lighter fluid when you lit a cigarette, or the smell of your coffee...riding in the car with you, giving you a hug and a kiss on the cheek, all of our phone calls, you telling all that was in the paper. There is so much more I miss Daddy, I could write forever and it would not cover it all...mostly though I just miss you, my Daddy...that will never change Daddy...How could I not miss you? You were ever so present in my life and you were special, you were my special and I yours. Even though us being apart now hurts so terribly much, I would not trade a single minute of my life with you...the pain that I feel now is worth it...because the bond and love that we shared was so beautiful. It was and always will be my treasure in my heart. Thank you Daddy, for being such a good Daddy, and for loving me so much...I Love You more than mere words could ever possibly describe. You live within me now inside my heart and you will always be there...with me, keeping an eye out for me, and of course loving me. Szeretlek Daddy, your little girl forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
March 06, 2012
Daddy,

Missing you with every breath I take. I just wish you were still here. My life is so lonely without you Daddy. I Love you as much today as I always have. Please come be with me Daddy. Come and sit with me. I wish you and I could sit and talk together like we used to. I miss our times together and I always will Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
March 03, 2012
Daddy,

I have been having such a rough physical day. I got really sick in class and all I could think of was calling you, my Daddy, who was also my chauffeur when I would get sick. I did okay, ate, and rested for a while, then you know me Daddy, I went right back to it. The piece I made today turned out even better than I thought it would. It is by far the best I have made yet. I wish you were here to show it to. You always loved to look at the things I would make. You would always tell me that I was talented like Nagymama and Nagypapa were and that you were so proud of me and happy to see that. I miss you Daddy, I miss you terribly. My life is forever changed without you here and my heart hurts. I wish you could come back. I know that you cannot but I still wish you could. My world is a lonely place without you in it. I miss everything about you and I will always remember it all and treasure all you gave me. I Love You Daddy and even though I am a grown woman. I will always be your little girl. The little girl who saw moonbeams in your eyes from the moment they met mine. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your little girl forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
March 02, 2012
Daddy,

For you. The light of our love will shine always. I miss you more and more each day. Even though I know that together we will be again in Gods time it does not take away the pain of today Thank you for guiding me in the right places at the right time. I know in my heart that it is you and God working through me and for me. Only you and God know what is in my heart. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love forever, your kiddo, vera leigh

Ps I just wish you were here. I miss soo much our long talks Daddy. I miss you.
March 01, 2012
Daddy,

I will never get used to you not being here. I miss you so much. My heart and soul continue to cry out for you. You not being here is so unbelievable, in one second, in the blink of an eye, you were gone and my heart crumbled. I still don't know how I am going to live the rest of my life without you here. I miss everything Daddy. I miss you sooo much. I loved you so much Daddy and we were always together and such a big part of each others lives so now being here without you, trying to continue on is so hard. My days are so lonely without you. Please come give me a sign Daddy. Needing and wanting you in my life. Szeretlek Daddy. Please don't forget me. Your kiddo is here longing for our days together again. lots if love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
February 29, 2012
Daddy,

Having a really rough night. Not feeling well at all Daddy and I cannot fall asleep. I wish you could come and sit on the edge of my bed like you've done so many times before and talk with me. I wish you could tuck me in Daddy. I just need my Daddy. The man who always fought for me and believed in me. I will never have anyone in my life that I matter to so much that they would fight fr me I mattered to you Daddy soooo much that you always stood by me and fought for me. I live you Daddy. I love you for always believing in me, your kiddo. Please come be with me. Szeretlek Daddy. Please don't forget me. lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
February 28, 2012
Daddy,

I Love You. I Miss You. Please come be with me as I struggle terribly tonight. I could really use one of your strong yet gentle hugs Daddy lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh

ps please don't forget me Daddy, I am right here waiting.
February 25, 2012
Daddy,

Nothing more nothing less. I just love you with all, every part of my heart and that will never change. You will always be my Daddy and I will forever be your little girl. My heart aches for you, for you and me together once more. I want to hear your voice Daddy. I want us to be together like we have always been. Thirteen months is so long Daddy. What if you forgot me by now. When you were here you never did but now your not and you are instead in this most holiest and magnificent place, Heaven and I don't know if you are allowed to know me any more. Everyone keeps leaving Daddy, I wonder who is leaving next. Someone soon I know. It is just do hard without you the most. Everything for me is different. Nothing is like it used to be. I don't like it Daddy. God keeps putting people in my life but he never lets them stay Daddy. Why? Why does it have to be this way ? You have always been the constant in my life and He called you too. Then He called my really close friends and He continues. It hurts Daddy. Bob too, I miss him so too. My kitties. I just don't understand Daddy. I am not angry at God Daddy I just wish I could understand why, whether through death or other circumstances people leave. In death I know they have know choice but in life they do. Too many times Daddy. It is so much better not to get close with anyone then you are safe when they leave and then it doesn't hurt so much. I don't know I guess it is just the way it is but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt Daddy. I am tired of hurting because I care. I know that if you could you would come back and be with me. That I know 100% without a doubt. You have always been with me and I am so lucky to have you for my Daddy. I love you Daddy and I miss you terribly. Szeretlek Daddy. Please remember I am still here. lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
February 24, 2012
Daddy,

Thirteen months Daddy I just cannot believe this. The pain in my heart feels like it was within a blink of an eye. I miss you so much Daddy. My heart and soul cry out for you. I Will love you forever Daddy. Your little girl forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
February 23, 2012
Daddy,

The hardest thing I ever had to do in my life was lie there next to you, holding you, helpless as you took your last breath. From that moment my world, the world that I have always known, turned upside down. I have not been the same Daddy, since you have gone and I don't think I ever will be that same person again. Yes there are still parts of me that remain but most are forever altered. It still is so unbelievable that you are not here, that I can never talk with you again, or go for a ride through Buckeye, or go and get the neighborhood news. Most of all Daddy that I will never be with you again, not in the way we have always been.

My faith tells me that when God calls me we will once again be together again, but what do I do in the meantime Daddy, how do I put one foot in front of the other without you, without the light in my life. I miss you terribly and my heart hurts always. There is never a moment in a days time when I don't hurt. I know that you loved me sooooo much that you would not want me to hurt like this but I don't know how not to...you are not here and my heart longs for our days and moments together.

Now that I am back at Ursuline I want to sit and talk with you even more. I want to tell you about my classes, and show you pictures of things that I have been doing...I want to see you sitting in the snack area waiting for me to get out of class so we could go bum around together. This is just so hard and painful Daddy, it is like I am always treading in quicksand.

So many people have told me that time heals, it has not Daddy. It makes me miss you more and more with every breath I take, and it makes me know even more that I just cannot stand being without you. My Daddy, that man that I have always admired, looked up to, thought hung the moon and the stars, was always there no matter what, always there to comfort me, laugh with me, cry with me, hold my hand, cheer me on, tell me that I could do anything, who always believed in me. I will always treasure every moment we had Daddy but I will also always miss you terribly...You will always be my Daddy and I will always Love you deeply. Together we were something else and together, in God's time, we will be again...I look forward to that day Daddy because I know the ache in my heart will finally go away and the happiness I once felt will once again be, because I will once again be with you, my Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy...I will never forget you, please don't forget me. lots of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh
February 20, 2012
Daddy,

Polka dots Daddy, polka dots. I am having a really rough night Daddy. Very much pain. I had such a hard time driving today Daddy, my legs just would not work right and much pain. I needed my chauffeur Daddy. I loved it when you would drive me places. You always told me so many stories of when you were an ambulance driver and then later drive for med transport. I miss hearing you tell me your stories. I miss hearing your voice Daddy. I miss you and my heart constantly hurts. My world became a very lonely place when you took your last breath. I still am having such a hard time Daddy. I don't know if I will ever feel normal again. Without you in my life there is emptiness and my heart and soul cry out for you. I Love You Daddy and I always will. Please don't forget me Daddy. I am here waiting. Lots of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh

p.s. I missed going to lunch with you and doing something together for presidents day.
February 18, 2012
Daddy,

I just still don't believe this. I know it must be real because my heart is so shattered and broken I missed so much sharing the day with you today on your birthday. I miss all my days with you for its not just the holidays or special milestone days but instead it is all the moments in between. Please come be with me. My heart and soul continue to cry out for you. I just want you back. I want you here with me Daddy like you've always been. I never felt such a strong pain in my soul and heart. I miss you more and more with each breath I take and every passing moment in time. I hope you like your horse Daddy. Took me a while but I did it. Polka dots Daddy just polka dots. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. Lots of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh
February 18, 2012
Daddy,

A candle for you on your birthday. I wish you were here so I could celebrate with you. So unbelievable and heartbreaking that you are not here. I miss you more than any words could possibly describe. Boldog születésnap Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. Lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
February 17, 2012
Daddy,

Well only two more or maybe one to go. Soon Daddy, soon. Missing you terribly and can't wait to be together again in God's time. My heart is hurting. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. Lots of love forever, your kiddo. vera leigh
February 17, 2012
Daddy,

Really needing you tonight. I always need you but I am not feeling to well right now and I just wish you were here to talk with me. I am so itchy I want to scream. My pain is getting worse and worse as the minutes go by. I know it's because I don't have enough of my medicine. I hope they hurry up and put it back on the shelves. Without it well we know where I am headed and it scares me so much. Even if I wasn't sick I would still need you but whenever I was sick you always had such a way of comforting me.

I miss you Daddy. I miss all the things we did together. Our outings, our road trips, especially to Buckeye, our lunches/dinners. How we used to drive all over the city and you would tell me so many stories. You had so many to tell and I loved hearing them. I want to hear them now Daddy. I want to hear your voice, your laughter, your telling me what is happening in the world in the news. I miss all our phone calls; my phone hardly ever rings now. You were the only person who called me always just to say; " good morning, or goodnight" or just to say hello. I want to see you pull up in front of my house and walk down my driveway. I miss our long talks and how you had such a way of explaining things to me. You were always there to listen. Always there to hold my hand or give me a hug. Your special hugs. I would give anything in the world to have one now. More importantly I would give anything to give you a great big hug and a kiss on your cheek.

This is so hard Daddy. I don't know how to do this without you anymore. It is just too hard. I know you always told me I was a tough cookie but this is different, you're not here and my heart is in shambles. It is broken beyond repair. It feels like someone took it out of my body and stomped all over it and then put it back in and said okay now live with it, get used to it. I'll never get used to you not being here. Not you Daddy, you never hurt me and would never want too. How Daddy how? Please come be with me. Come talk to me.

Since I started writing this the itches have gotten much much worse and my body is hurting really bad and swelling up again. Ask God to make it stop and let your vera leigh have some relief. I am so tired Daddy. I have been living with this for so long now. My heart and soul are crying out for you. I miss you Daddy. Szeretlek. Emlékül. lots of love forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
February 16, 2012
Daddy,

I just cannot believe all this is real. I know it must be because the pain I feel is so unbelievably intense and I know it is because I miss you so terribly much. I don't really know how I am putting one foot in front of the other I just know I am. I loved you and honored you so much in life and now I don't know what to do with these feelings I have always had for you. I still have these feelings and always will but now they seem to be misplaced because you aren't here. I just wish you would and could come back so we could be together once again. I miss you Daddy, I miss the me I am with you, I miss us Daddy. I love you so much and my heart is in shatters of broken glass. How do I put it back together without you. Please come be with me and hold my hand Daddy. I am scared and lonely in this world without you. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. Lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh

p.s. holding onto God's promise of being together again. I cannot wait to hear you call me kiddo.
February 14, 2012
Daddy,

You will always be my Valentine...I miss you terribly...I just wish you were here...If you were we would go out to lunch...and share a valentine...I will always miss our valentine time together...My heart will always belong to you Daddy...like it always has since I was a little girl...Please stay close today...I Love you more than words can ever possibly describe and the emptiness I feel is because our love was so present in our daily life. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love always, your kiddo, vera leigh (your valentine)

P.S. I slept with my kitty on the red heart valentine that you gave me many many years ago...kosonom Daddy..for loving me and for always being my Daddy.
February 13, 2012
Daddy,

I would climb the highest mountain, walk through the barest desert, endure all the pain and heartache throughout my life again just to have one more time with you. I would do anything to be with you once more Daddy. Without you my days are filled with sadness, lonliness, and heartache. I miss you more and more with every passing moment and I long for the day when our hands, arms, hearts, and souls are reunited. At that moment, when I feel your arms around me once more; when I see your face light up with your smile; when I hear my name aloud with the melody of your voice; when we sit together once again and share each others company I will again feel The unending joy that you always gave me Daddy. Until then Daddy, I will always feel this huge hole in my soul and this terrible ache in my heart. I will never feel a love like the love we had Daddy not until we are once more. Every part of me misses you and my hesrt and soul continue to cry out for you. Please know how much I love you Daddy and how much your unconditional love provided me with all the things that matter but that it also sustained me throughout my life and gave me the most wonderful part of my life. You truly were my gift from God Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lost of love, your kiddo forever and always, vera leigh

p.s. please tell Insti that her mommie is sending her lots of birthday hugs and pats. Let her know how much I miss and love her as well as her brother and sissie.
February 10, 2012
Daddy,

Please come back and be with me. Valentines Day is coming. I don't want to spend it without you. I went to the store tonight and everywhere I looked we're boxes of chocolates in the shape of hearts. I won't be getting one from you this year and we won't be going out for our traditional valentine meal. So terribly hard to live without you here Daddy. I hope you are okay Daddy. I always worry that you are. I am trying to be. My heart has a huge ache in it and it longs for the love we once shared. I hang onto the hope that we will be reunited and with that our love will to.

Please give Diamond a great big hug and kiss for me and tell her that her mommie misses her so very much. I cannot believe I have not held her and cuddled her now for sixteen years. Tell her and all my furty babies I Love them and miss them and that there mommie will be with them again.

I have come to realize that everything in this life has a beginning and with that an ending. I really don't like endings Daddy. I cannot wait till I get to be with you in eternal life and then I will never have to undergo the pain of endings again.

I miss you more and more each day Daddy and my heart and
soul cry out for you. Please come and hold my hand tonite Daddy as I struggle with both physical and emotional turmoil. Really needing and wanting so badly one of your strong yet gentle hugs. My love for you will never go away Daddy Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo forever, Vera leigh
February 07, 2012
Daddy,

For you. The light of our love will shine always. I miss you more and more each day. Together we will be again in Gods time. Thank you for guiding me in the right places at the right time. I know in my heart that it is you and God working through me and for me. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
February 07, 2012
Daddy,

Wishing more than anything that you were here. I miss you sooooo very much. I have been so not feeling well Daddy but i am trying. I need you. Szeretlek Daddy with all of my heart. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo always and forever, vera leigh
January 31, 2012
Daddy,

I just miss it all Daddy. So hard Daddy without you here. My heart and soul are crying out for you. I Love You. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 31, 2012
Daddy,

Missing you more and more with every breath I take. Trying to continue on however I just don't know if I am going to make it. I am so very tired Daddy and my heart is shattered like glass thrown up in the air and landing hard. My love for you is ever strong and will always remain. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 29, 2012
Daddy,

I miss you soooooooo much...my heart is so broken since you have been gone...It is so lonely for me without you and I am having such a hard time going on...everyday is a struggle for me Daddy...I am trying but I am just so very tired and I miss you sooo much...I started back in my classes and have been going for a week now...I am allready struggling with that in regards to my health Daddy...I am trying so hard to make something for myself but I am afraid that my illness is going to win...it was so much easier when you were here because you helped me with those obstacles that my illness puts in front of me every day...Please Daddy if you can somehow help me with this from where you are...I want so badly to be able to do this but I need your help ...

I cannot believe that it has been a year now since you have been gone. Last year the ground was covered in snow and it was so cold when I would go to the cemetery...I remember last year this time (11:00pm) your second night there, I sat at the cemetery in the snow for hours just looking on in disbelief...I could not believe you were gone...nothing has changed Daddy...I sat there today in the snow and just looked on in disbelief...I just still think where are you...I know you are gone...but where are you...for me the pain has not lessoned even though everyone thinks it has...if anything Daddy it has become even stronger...the longer I am apart from you the more I hurt...I will never get over you Daddy...how could I you were and always will be my world...my life...my breath...Missing you and loving you more than words could ever possibly describe...I know you understand Daddy...you knew me better than anyone...you felt my pain when I hurt...so I know you know what I am going through...Please come be with me...hold my hand Daddy, like you used to...wrap your arms around me Daddy, I need your comfort, your wisdom, your caring nature, your laughter, I need you...Szeretlek Daddy, please don't forget me I am here Daddy...waiting...lots of love, your little girl, your kiddo, your vera leigh...
January 28, 2012
Daddy,

Thoughts in my mind always lead back to you. My hearts only pathway is you. Missing you terribly and wishing I could turn the calendar back to the time when you were here. My love for you is eternal and my soul continues to cry out for you. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékek. lots of love and hugs, your kiddo, vera leigh

ps. waiting for the day I too can be in eternal life with you.
January 27, 2012
Daddy,

I just cannot believe what I was doing a year ago today and where I am now. This is all so incredibly hard Daddy. How I continue I do not know but with the grace of God and the strength of your love. Please hold me up through it all. I really need one if your strong yet gentle hugs. Rough day at the doctors and feeling very alone and lonely. I am trying to be okay. Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo forever even in eternity, vera leigh
January 27, 2012
Daddy,

My heart is hurting terribly for you. Missing you. Longing for shared moments with you Daddy. The rain is overflowing like the tears down my cheeks. This is so very painful and difficult Daddy but I trying. I am trying for you, I am trying for me. Never have you and I had such a distance between us. Lonely days, lonely nights, lonely minutes, lonely seconds are what I face each day since you have gone. Come and hold my hand tonight Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. I am here where I have always been. Please ask God to let you come be with me. lots of love forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 26, 2012
Daddy,

Missing you more than my heart can bear. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 26, 2012
January 25(26) 2:00am

Daddy,

Tonight my heart is aching ...a pain that is so incredibly deep...I have never known pain like this Daddy...but then I have never been without you. Now I know I am and I know that you really are no longer here. It unbearable for me to not have you here, even more it hurts to live without you. I miss everything Daddy; our roadtrips, our lunches and dinners, our sightseeing through Buckeye and the neighborhood, our travels through Fleet and Harvard, our long talks, our shared days together, our phone calls, both the short and long ones, your stories, the melody of voice, your laughter, your smile, your temper, your telling me what is going on in the world, your reading the newspaper to me, hearing you call me kiddo or saying my name...there is so much more I miss Daddy...I could write twenty pages and it still would not explain all I miss. I miss going to get the Neighborhood news, you taking me to the doctors, you bringing me Arby's or Wendy's Frosty when I am sick. I miss you...I miss the me I was when you were still here...I miss us together. This past year has been the most painfully excruciating year of my life Daddy. Please don't be sad though Daddy...it is nothing that you did...it is instead because of what you did for me ...you gave me the most precious gift of all ... your .unconditional love... a love so pure, so deep, so powerful, a love that has always has been a constant in my life ... a love that made me feel like I mattered ... like I was special...like there was no one else in the world that you would rather be with. How can I not feel the way I do now with you gone when I had such an incredible love not only did I have such love I also had you to give that type of love too. The bond we is indescribable and most just don't. understand it...sadly most live a lifetime and never experience it. How blessed I am to have been given that gift Daddy... how blessed I am to have had you for my Daddy...it is because I as well as you loved each other so deeply that this separation now creates so much pain in me. I am trying so much Daddy to be okay...to be okay for you as well as for me...that is the only gift that I can give you Daddy...but I am scared because I have never had to do this without you...being okay without you is unimaginable...My world is a lonely place since you have gone....I miss seeing your face Daddy...hearing your voice...I just miss all of you....and I feel ever so far away from you...Please come and be with me somehow Daddy...Please don't leave me forever....my heart is breaking...this is too final...I want my Daddy...I fear I will never feel settled again...not until we are together again...Just know that I Love You as much today as I always have and that I am here...I have not left you....I am here....waiting for you to come and get me....Szeretlek Daddy, your little girl forever, the one who saw moonbeams in your eyes from the moment her eyes met yours....your kiddo, your vera leigh...
January 25, 2012
Daddy,

Today I traveled many roads,
And you were just not there.
I looked for you in everything
Just adding to my despair.
How I do this now alone
I'm sure I'll never know.
The pain I feel, it never ends,
no matter where I go.
So instead of going anywhere
I'll sit and and learn to be.
Perhaps when I can do this then
Is the place that you will be.

I Love You Daddy. My love for you is bigger than me alone. Missing you no matter where I go or what I do. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. Lots of love,Your kiddo, vera leigh
January 24, 2012
Daddy,

For you the light of my life and my world. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 24, 2012
Daddy,

I miss you more than I ever thought it possible to miss someone. My heart is so heavy and the pain terribly powerful...I cannot believe it has now been one year since I held you, touched you, smelled you, talked with you...heard your wonderful voice and your humor...I know that you have and continue to put many vessels in my life and I am so grateful for it, but I have to admit...I would so much rather have you here with me...I am selfish...I just want you back...my love for you has always been and yours for me...For me it is as if all this is happening now...and the past year I have just been living in a really huge fog. I would do anything to have you back just one more day...to sit with you, share with you, talk with you...and show you how much I love you...You have always been the most incredible, wonderful, and special person in my life, you have always been my Daddy...It is so hard for me Daddy, when I hurt like this you were always the one to help me...now I have to do this myself...and it is so very hard and lonely...I am trying Daddy...I want to be your kiddo, the one you knew and always loved...Please be with me...I wish there were telephones in heaven...at least then you and I could talk with each other...Please hold me today Daddy as I struggle, fumble, and cry today Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

ps please remember that I am here...please don't forget me Daddy...we have been apart for so long and I hurt so terribly bad.
January 24, 2012

January 24 12:58 a.m.

For you Daddy,

By your side I silently laid,
as I wrapped my arms around you;
I did not want you to suffer,
goodbye I could not say.
Tightly I held on,
and prayed you'd never leave,
but God had other plans,
and called you to His home.

Twelve months has now since past,
and I struggle every day;
for you're not here to share with me,
the love we had so strong.
A sadness echoes loudly
inside my heart each day,
and even though I know,
the time will come someday,
when God will send you for me,
together once more we'll be:
Tonight my heart is breaking,
as the pain remains so strong,
for I will always remember
the night you slipped away.

Daddy it has been twelve months since Nagymama guided you into the journey of eternal life. I Miss You Soooooooo Much Daddy, and my heart and soul continue to cry out for you. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
ps please come and hold my heart in the palm of your hand.
January 23, 2012
Daddy,

From my heart to yours I Love You. Missing you terribly. My heart and soul ache for you Daddy. Thank you for today... I know you were with me and providing me many arms, words, and prayers of encouragement, comfort, and love. I could not do this without your strength and love. Köszönöm szépen Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo always, vet(l)a leigh
January 23, 2012
Daddy,
Just don't know how much longer I can do this. Missing you terribly and feeling do far away from you. Please come hold me Daddy. Szeretlek. Emlékek lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

Ps my love for you is never ending
January 23, 2012
Daddy,

Nothing more nothing less. I just miss you sooooo much and I just cannot stand being away from you. It has been way to long Daddy. Loving you with every breath I take. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
January 22, 2012
Daddy,

My heart is hurting so terribly much. I never known so much pain it is unbearable. I wish I could hold you Daddy. I miss you sooooo very much. Szeretlek Daddy. Wanting to be with you. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 21, 2012
Daddy,

I just want to hear you call me kiddo. I miss you more and more with each passing day. Please come hold my hand today. It is hard to breathe Daddy. Needing one of your strong yet gentle hugs. I Love You. Szeretlek, emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 21, 2012
Daddy,

I miss you more than my heart and soul can bear. That I'd just the way it is. I love you Daddy and I will forever be your little girl. I will be here when you come for me like I always have. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love , your best kiddo
January 19, 2012
Daddy,

I am missing you soooooo very much tonight...my heart is aching so bad...it is so broken and I am afraid it will never mend...I am trying so hard Daddy to make a life for myself without you here but my heart and soul just want to crawl in a corner and just give up...I know that is not what you would want for me...but I am so lonely without you here....I am going through all the motions to try and have this life yet nothing I do replaces the thoughts I have inside my mind of you...I am not distracted even when I am working on things...I don't think anyone really realizes that when you were here and for most of my childhood years and all of my adult years I lived and breathed you...My world revolved around you and yours around mine...You were always on my mind even when I was doing something and as soon as I was done...it was "I have to call Daddy" so how do I not do that now...I am not and don't know if I will ever adjust to you not being here...so many times I run to the phone to call you and tell you what is going on or just to say hi...this all seems so impossible Daddy...and I hurt for you so deeply...my heart physically aches and my soul cries. I will keep trying Daddy...I want you to be proud of your kiddo...and I know how much you lived ... and that that is what you would want for me...

It is so hard to believe that last year at this time...you and I were together....like we usually were...now I am alone...I don't want to be alone anymore Daddy...I don't like it...truthfully I cannot stand being without you...I did not like it when I was little and I really do not like it now...It just hurts so much...Please come be with me Daddy...I have so very much going on and I need you here with me. I long for the days when we were together and everything was so much more simple...Missing you with every breath and heart beat...Szeretlek Daddy, Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 18, 2012
Daddy,

You will never guess who I spoke with a while ago from Ursuline. Remember Sr. Christine (who you used to call Sr Chrissy and always wanted to give palinka too). Her sister , Sr. Virginia called me to finalize everything for me for classes. As I was talking with her I was thinking this voice sounds so familiar so I asked her her name again. It was like oh wow I know your sister and of course we ended up talking about much things after that. I always knew of her but never met her because she was working elsewhere at the time It's funny no, how things work? Sr christine is not there now but her sister is. Just as bubbly and friendly as she was. Things like this help me know that I have made the right decision in returning to Ursuline, one of my most favorites places in the world. A place where there is a true sense of community, kindness, care, and friendship. A place that wants me to succeed and help me regardless of obstacles I may have in my life. thank you for guiding me back there Daddy. I will miss seeing you on campus but I think you will be standing by my side as I embark on this journey. I miss you so much Daddy and my heart hurts terribly. I just cannot believe you are not here. I still want to share everything with you like this and I run to the phone to call you and am stopped in my tracks. Please be with me today Daddy and hold my hand through all this pain I am feeling. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 17, 2012
Daddy,

Last year today we spent the entire day together. You and me and your hospice nurse Linda came by. You had a taste for baked chicken so you, me, pista, and Janie ate dinner together. You ate so good but then had difficulties...it broke my heart but you were so strong and brave Daddy...especially because I knew how scared you were of what was happening to you You always told me you were not afraid to die but you were afraid of how it would happen and that you just did not want to be in pain. After dinner I had to laugh when you told me not to waste the left over chicken and that I should take it to the city mission for the poor. That is the kind of man you were daddy, you cared about others even during your own struggles. I still have the wishbone from that chicken Daddy and don't know if I will ever dispose of it. Thoughts are running through my mind as I remember last year and my heart aches. I miss you more and more with every passing day. My love for you is unending and there will never be a day that passes by that I don't think, love, and miss you. I lived and breathed you when you were here so how do I not now. It is a natural part of who I am: as natural as the love we shared was. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

ps looking forward to the day when we can make our wish together on the wishbone. Then again our wish will have come true if we are once again together. I Love You Always and Forever
January 17, 2012
January 16, 2012
Daddy,

I am sitting here at the cemetery. I wonder if you know I'm here. Do you know I'm crying on the inside? My heart is broken and my soul empty. I just wish I could be with you. I miss you, I miss the me I was when you were here, I miss us Daddy. This all just hurts much and it is difficult for me. The tears well up and overflow but it does not help. I have been hurt so much in life and I always had you. Yes Daddy you spoiled me, but not with things or fanciness but with your unending love, caring, and friendship. You have just always been I was so blessed with you in my life. I had the greatest love of all, you. How to go on without is very hard and I have to force myself through the long days and nights. Please help me Daddy, like you used to. I love you more than words will ever describe. I miss you more and more. Come and be with me Daddy so we can be together again. I don't want to hurt anymore and I need you. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 17, 2012
Daddy,

I am sitting here at the cemetery. I wonder if you know I'm here. Do you know I'm crying on the inside? My heart is broken and my soul empty. I just wish I could be with you. I miss you, I miss the me I was when you were here, I miss us Daddy. This all just hurts much and it is difficult for me. The tears well up and overflow but it does not help. I have been hurt so much in life and I always had you. Yes Daddy you spoiled me, but not with things or fanciness but with your unending love, caring, and friendship. You have just always been I was so blessed with you in my life. I had the greatest love of all, you. How to go on without is very hard and I have to force myself through the long days and nights. Please help me Daddy, like you used to. I love you more than words will ever describe. I miss you more and more. Come and be with me Daddy so we can be together again. I don't want to hurt anymore and I need you. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 17, 2012
Daddy,

So hard to believe a year ago at this time I was still with you, loving you, caring for you, enjoying being with you. Now I am here all alone and I am so very lonely. Ours was a love that no one could seperate. Missing you terribly and aching in my heart...Loving you with every breath and beat of my heart. This is still so unbelieveable. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
January 16, 2012
Daddy,

It is so hard and painful for me to be without you. My heart is overflowing in tears and my soul is filled with sadness. Tonight/today my heart is
overcome with even more sorrow and pain as it is my big baby girls birthday. I miss her soooooo much Daddy. You filled my days with so much love, comfort, laughter, and happiness; and she my nights and days too. I remember how much you enjoyed her and she you. I hope she is there with you now and you are enjoying and laughing at her silly ways. Please give her some of her favorite turkey breast and tell her it is from her mommie. Tell her I miss her and her sissie and brother too. Please give them all pats on the head for me and you guys give My Daddy a great big hug and kiss for me. I long for the days when we are all once again together sharing a lzy afternoon or evening; a day that will fill my heart and soul with happiness once more. Mommie loves you Big Girl and mommie loves you too my Little Girl and my Handsome Boy, I miss all of you. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. send the angels Daddy. A kapunál várlak. Hiányzó mi ketten teljes szívembol. Szeretlek.
January 15, 2012
Daddy,

Just send the angels Daddy. A kapunál várlak. Hiányzó mi ketten teljes szívembol. Szeretlek Daddy. Rengeteg szeretet, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 14, 2012
Daddy,

It is 7:00am and I have not been able to sleep yet. My thoughts will not settle and my pain level is very high. I have so much going on Daddy and much decisions to make. I wish we could sit and talk about it all like we used to. I could really use a talk with my daddy. Please come be with me. I need you ... I need to feel your comforting presence Daddy ... I need to feel one of your gentle yet strong hugs... I just need you. You are the only one whoever understood me. I miss you terribly and my heart aches for you. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 14, 2012
I am feeling very down, sad, scared, and lonely Daddy. This week I have much going on and am not sure how I am going to do this all without you here Daddy. Your ver(l)a leigh, your kiddo, needs you. Please send me the strength and courage you always gave me when you were here...Please guide me in the right direction with this esophageal stuff. I am scared Daddy...and I need you...I need you with me...Please come hold my hand Daddy...I could sure use one of your strong yet gentle loving hugs...I Miss You Terribly Daddy...more than words could ever possibly describe or explain and there is an emptiness inside of me that makes my days unbearable. I would give anything to have you back...I would give it all away just to have one more day with you,my Daddy...the man who gave me guidance, strength, courage, gentleness, humor, and unconditional love. The man who helped me become the woman I am today...Kosonom Daddy for it all...for every moment you showed me you cared and for all the love you gave me...Szeretlek Daddy, Emlekul, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 14, 2012
Daddy,

I am in much pain tonight. Much itchy polka dots too. I miss you soooooo much Daddy. I wish you could come and sit with me. I am so lonely for you and alone in my thoughts. So much on my mind, and so much to figure out. Wanting to talk with you and just be together. My world is so upside down and my pain unbearable. Sometimes it is just so hard to deal with my illness, been doing it for so long and it makes me tired and creates so much frustration inside me. My heart is crying tonight Daddy and my soul is screaming. Missing you with every breath and every heartbeat and loving you more than any word could possibly describe. It is so difficult and such struggle to be here without you Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. Rengeteg szeretet, your kiddo, vera leigh

PS still hearing your words to me and I will always remember
January 13, 2012
Daddy,

Missing and longing for you...wishing you would call me and tell me to "build a snowman." Szeretlek Daddy. Mindezzel tokelétesen. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 13, 2012
Daddy,

With your wings and mine nothing will be impossible for me. Szeretlek. lots of love, your kiddo the one you have always known and loved, vera leigh
January 12, 2012
Daddy,

Thank you for the reminders Daddy. Your kiddo is working her way back to you. The kiddo you know and have loved all these years. Still you manage to help me even from above. I am so lucky to have you in my life Daddy. For me the man I have admired all my life and who hung the stars and the moon for me, vera leigh. You are still and will always be the best. Szeretlek Daddy. Now I know you remember me. lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh

PS missing you with all my breaths and still longing for days with you.
January 12, 2012
Daddy,

Sometimes it is all just too much. The last words you said to me in your voice echo in my mind. I agree with those simple yet very wise words Daddy From now on they will be my words to live by like you did but I will need you to help me. I just finally get it. Does not mean that the feelings of you being gone will not knock me (suddenly and at times abruptly) to my knees because I hurt so badly and so deeply but it does mean that now I know what you were telling me and only me. Köszönöm Daddy. Szeretlek. Mindezzel tokelétesen. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 11, 2012
daddy,

i love you more than words can ever express. i am right here daddy, and i always will be as i always have been holding your hand and your heart forever within my heart missing you with all my breaths your kiddo, ver(l)a leigh
January 11, 2012
Daddy,

Én vagyok Megtört szívu. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. Rengeteg szeretet, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 11, 2012
Daddy,

Just be with me Daddy...i just want us to be together again, everything is just so hard for your kiddo... I keep trying but I just don't know how to try anymore...I am so very tired and so very much lonely and alone...I agree Daddy, this modern world is not for me either... No matter what I do or say it is always wrong and someone has to correct me or stop me from speaking I am told to share, speak, reach out and then when I finally get the courage to do so I get shut down It makes me wonder and question yet again "what's wrong with me?" Its funny no, even the people that tell me there is nothing wrong with me do this. It just makes me feel even more confused about what is and is not okay. . Where do I go from here Daddy? I just don't know anymore and I am so tired physically, emotionally, and even spiritually of trying to figure it all out. I am drained My heart is crying Daddy and it has never felt in so much pain and my insides won't stop trembling. Please Daddy if there is a way for you to come be with me please come. Please come hold my hand. I need one of your strong yet gentle hugs. So much is going on with me physically and emotionally and I just don't have anyone to talk with who truly wants to listen. Szeretlek Daddy. Thank you for always being there for me. Please don't forget me. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 10, 2012
Daddy,

I just cannot believe what today is. It is so hard to believe what happened a year ago today. I am trying to hold onto the long talk we had later because I know that that is what really mattered. You have always been the best daddy ever and I am so blessed with the deep bond of love you and I shared. I love you daddy and I always will. Our love will never end. I miss you so much that my heart hurts. I know you were with me yesterday as i drove through buckeye and talked to you about all the stories and places you and I shared. I hold all those stories and memories near to my heart. In the big picture Daddy that really is all that matters; love and our hearts. szeretlel daddy. emlékül. your kiddo, your little girl forever, vera leigh
January 07, 2012
Daddy,

I am wearing your sweater tonight, it makes me feel like your arms are around me. You remember which one I hope. It was always the one you used to give me to put on if I was cold. It still smells like you Daddy. I always loved the way you smelled. The combination of your soap, shaving cream, and aftershave, such a comfort. I am trying Daddy but it is so hard. I am just so very tired all the time. No one really understands that but you always did. I think that is because you knew me so well plus you were with me so much that you saw daily the struggles and challenges I always go through. You always supported me and made me feel loved no matter what. Köszönöm szépen Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, always your little girl, vera leigh
January 06, 2012
Daddy,

Wishing you were here with me Daddy. You always made me feel safe Daddy in so many ways. Whether it was through being with me, or talking with me, or by giving me one of your strong but gentle hugs. I long for all of those Daddy. I long for our being together. Needing you now.
Remembering last year this time and how I knew the time was coming soon. My heart was breaking inside but on the outside I was trying to be so strong for you Daddy because I knew how scared you were. So many times you were strong for me and gave me the strength to continue on. It was the deep bond and the love that we shared that allowed us to know what it was that the other needed during times of struggles. I am struggling now Daddy and I need your strength to come to me. I will be here. Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül. Lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 06, 2012
Daddy,

Polka dots Daddy, just bring me polka dots. Szeretlek Daddy. Missing you in my heart, soul, and mind. Emlékül. Lots of lövés, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 04, 2012
Daddy,

I just wanted to say hi Daddy.
I'm checking out. Szeretlek. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 03, 2012
For you Daddy For You...

Like the candle will burn for eternity so will my love for you...I miss you more and more with every passing day...
Szeretlek, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 03, 2012
Daddy,

Nothing more, nothing less. You're kiddo, you're vera leigh is missing you soooo terribly much. I love you Daddy and I just cannot stand be away from you. Szeretlek Daddy,emlékül, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 03, 2012
Daddy,

You are always on my mind. The holidays are over and now it's back to you and me, or at least that is how it would be if you were here. My days are so long and lonely without you Daddy. I am trying to be okay but it is just really hard when the person that you loved with all your heart and shared so much with is no longer here.

I want to pick up the phone and call you. I want to spend the day with you like we always did. I want to talk with you about everything and share all of it. My heart is very heavy Daddy. I know you never liked it when I hurt but I am just so lonely without you. The day you died the joy in my heart died and my heart shattered. We had such a strong and powerful love, you and I. I guess that is why it hurts so terribly much because we shared such a deep bond of love. Please know that I am trying to be okay Daddy. It is just very hard.
Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 03, 2012
Daddy,

So much on my mind Daddy, I just cannot seem to stay asleep. I miss you more than words can ever describe. My life has been forever changed Daddy, and I miss you so much that my heart physically hurts. I will forever love you Daddy, for our love has no end. Thank you for being my Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül. lots of love forever, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. I look forward to the day when I will hear you call my name and say "after while crocidile"
January 02, 2012
Daddy,

Just really, really missing you Daddy. It has been soooo long since we have been together. My heart and soul ache for you. We have never been so apart from each other. I wish they had telephones in Heaven so we could at least talk with each other. On the few occasions when we were apart we at least had that. Please give me a sign and help me with some decisions I need to make Daddy. I have always trusted you completely and could really use your wisdom. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. Lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. please don't forget me.
January 02, 2012
Daddy,

I just don't feel well Daddy. Please come be with me and give me one of your hugs Daddy. So much going on with me Daddy and I am just very very tired and in much pain. Come hold my hand Daddy bring Nagymama with you Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül. lots of love and hugs and kisses, your kiddo, vera leigh
January 01, 2012
Daddy,

Tell Nagymama I am missing her today and many times. I cannot believe it has been 18 years since she went to be with Nagypapa. I know she was so ready to be with him...but I also know how much her going made you sad. In rhe last few months of your life so many times the way you spoke of her you would indicate to me that you wanted your anya...As it was she was the one to come and receive you on your next journey...I know that with every part of my being...It helps me to know that you are with them both as well as because I know that they are taking good care of their Ocsi, but I still wish you were here with me, guess I am a little selfish in that regard...I just want my Daddy and I always will. I long for the day when we can all be together again like we were when we lived in the 2 room apartment above them. We had such wonderful times you and I and Nagymama took such good care of us...I can still smell her sult csirke... the whole neighborhood could smell it when she cooked it...

I miss all of you soo much... Daddy... and I continue to love you, even if it is from here while you are there. I know someday, you and me will be together again just like you and Nagymama and Nagypapa are now. I have to be honest I truly cannot wait...but I know for now I have to continue with my own journey here until it is my time to be received... then we will cry with happy tears because we are once again reunited. I wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you Daddy. I hope that you are able to see me...and know me...and remember me your kiddo, and remember all the times we shared together...I hope you don't forget me... I Love You with all of my Heart Daddy...and I treasure all of the moments we shared...Daddy and me...my special most wonderful Daddy...now my special angel. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh

p.s. please tell Nagymama when I come to be with all of you I am wanting her vaj kenyér especially...and so much more...I Love and Miss of All You... Míg mi találkoznak újra
January 01, 2012
Daddy,

I really missed my morning phone call today. So many so much things we always did together. The newspaper today headlines would have you talking a lot with me about the county stuff. I hope you heard me read it to you. Feeling a little better physically today. But I am very sad and my heart is in much pain because you are not here in this new year. I miss you soooooo much Daddy. I look forward to the day you and I are once again reunited. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. Boldog új évet. lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
January 01, 2012
Daddy,

I have never felt so far away from you. Missing you with every breath I take and my heart and soul cry out for you. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

Boldog Új evet
December 31, 2011
To My Daddy the man I have always looked up to and smiled at,

It is so unbelievable that in a few hours the year will come to an end and it will be 2012. When the midnight hour struck and it became 2011 I wanted time to stop because I knew what 2011 had in store for you, for me, for us. I as well as you knew you would be going on the next journey of you life and we would be apart. We talked about how it would be, I knew that it would hurt Daddy, I just did not know the depth of that hurt. I am not sure where I have been throughout this past year, I just know that I feel disconnected. I don't want a New Year to ring in without you here, but no matter how badly I may want time to stop it just does not...Just like last year it would not stop either. I think to myself how am I going to go on to another year without you, this past one has been so very difficult and painful...my heart still continues to feel shattered into a million little pieces. Not only did you have to travel onto the next journey of you life, so did Renee, Dora, and MyGirl. So much in my life has changed since you have gone. I still don't know how to function...I still pick up the phone to call you...I want to call you and tell you everything, I want to hear you call me kiddo...but most of all I just want to BE with you...I knew how to BE with you...trying to learn how to BE with me now, I still would rather BE with you Daddy.

I was remembering when I was little and you would go to the New Years Eve Party at the Holiday Inn at Randall with Yoli Neni and Joska Basci and many other Hungarian friends. Even then Daddy you did not leave me out. The four of you arranged to have hotel rooms and Suzi and I and the others would stay up there for the night. I remember you coming up so many times to check on me and bring me deserts from the party downstairs. We had much fun Daddy...As I got older I would have friends over while you would go to the neighborhood bars but you always came home to check on us several times. Then I got older and I began going to those very same neighborhood bars with you, or to Karlin Hall. What wonderful memories you have given me Daddy...always looking out for me, your kiddo...

In the past couple of years things changed even more and we no longer spoke to each other at midnight but instead around 9:30 so we could go to sleep. I would give anything to get a New Years phone call from you Daddy...I know that that is not possible but one never knows what can happen...I have your message from last year I love to listen to it and hear your voice. A voice I long to hear again someday...I miss you sooooooo much Daddy...just don't know how much longer I can stand to be without you Daddy, but I am trying. I am trying for me, I am trying for you, and I am trying for us. I Love You Daddy, Szeretlek, emukel, and Boldog új évet, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s.Míg mi találkoznak újra
December 31, 2011
Daddy,

I just wish you were here Daddy. Really not feeling well and need my Daddy. If you can please come be with me while I try and sleep. Hold my hand Daddy, like do many times before. I miss you more than words will ever be able to describe. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 29, 2011
Daddy,

My heart is aching Daddy and my soul is crying out for you. Please don't forget me Daddy. I am right here where I have always been. I will always be your kiddo Daddy, your little girl. I miss you more and more with every breath I take. Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül, Lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
December 28, 2011
Daddy,

Polka Dots Daddy, polka dots and of course moombeams too.
Szeretlek Daddy, Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
p.s. missing you something awful...please could really use one of your strong yet gentle hugs Daddy.
December 28, 2011
Daddy,

Just really, really missing you. I love you with all my heart. Szeretlek. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 28, 2011
Daddy,

You have always been the glue in my life. Without you here I am broken into many tiny pieces but there is no glue to mend me and my broken heart. I miss you so much Daddy, every part of me hurts and cries. Christmas was so painful for me Daddy. Everywhere I looked there was an empty, especially in my heart. Holidays are really hard but for me all the moments in between are equally if not more difficult. We shared so much Daddy and now I am alone and everywhere there is an empty that only you can fill. I want us to be together again Daddy, like we always were. I want to plan our days, talk for hours, go on our road trips, drive through Buckeye, visit our friends, go to lunch, go to Aldi's, but most of all I just want to be with you. Please come be with me Daddy and take the lonely away. Szeretlrk Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 27, 2011
For you Daddy,

Like the flame in the candle will burn forever so to does my love for you Daddy, for my love for you is eternal. I miss you Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 27, 2011
Daddy,

I hope you can see your Christmas Card/present through your window from Heaven...You are my shining star...always have been and always will be...I Miss you with every breath I take...Szeretlek Daddy, Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 25, 2011
Daddy,

I miss you with all my heart.

Szeretlek Daddy. Emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

Boldog Karácsonyi Daddy. I hope you like your Christmas card and present. I love you soooooo much and I miss you terribly.
December 25, 2011
Daddy,

How could it be Christmas and you are not here. I miss you so much Daddy. My heart and soul hurt so bad for you Daddy. I have such a hard time without you with me. I want to sit down with you and talk for hours about everything, like we used to. So many talks we shared Daddy and so much wisdom and humor you gave me. I miss laughing with you Daddy, I miss sitting with you over a cup of tea or-coffee, the times we shared, so many minutes, hours, days, nights, we shared. They have given me so much to hold onto but I still want more time doth you. Time to listen, time to tell, time to share, time to love you; to love my Daddy and light up when you walk into the room. You have always and will always be my hero, the man who gave me more than any daughter could ever ask for. You were truly my gift in life and I am so thankful that God chose you to be my Daddy.

I hope you can see your Christmas card through your window in Heaven. you have been my shining star throughout my life and continue to be that even now. Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. Boldog karácsony
December 21, 2011
Daddy,

I long for the day when we can be together again. I know that we will be together once again and when that happens it will be the most glorious of all reunions. Until that wondrous moment happens I will always have this terrible ache in my heart. My heart is incomplete without you here. I don't know how to function without you here. Everything I do and say comes out all upside down. Since the moment you took your last breath I became disconnected in this world. Although I have tried again and again to gain my balance I just don't seem to be able to. I keep trying though Daddy. I want you to be proud of me in all I do, the same as when you were here with me.

I am so afraid that you have forgotten or are going to forget me Daddy. Please don't Daddy. You never did when you were here but I get frightened that you will. You have always been there for me Daddy and I for you. I miss you Daddy and I feel so far away from you. Please send me a sign so I know you are here carrying me in all these tough moments. I need you Daddy. I have so much going on physically and emotionally and I need my Daddy. I want to give you a hug and a great big kiss on your cheek. You will always be my Daddy. Szeretlek. Emlékül Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. sending an arm and heart full of hugs and kisses.
December 20, 2011
Daddy,

With every piece of pine, every decoration , every Christmas light, every cookie, my heart aches for you Daddy. Having Christmas without you by my side is so painful for me. I miss you sitting here with me while I do everything. The joy and laughter we shared together while preparing for the most holiest and magical night of the year is for me what it was all about. I miss you so much Daddy. My heart and soul hurt and their is a sadness that surrounds my entire being. I am lonely for you Daddy. I want to see you sitting in my kitchen and hear you tell me the Christmas stories from your childhood in Hungary and about all the practical jokes you and Josi Basci would play. I bet Heaven is beautiful, especially now, as the preparations for Jesus' birthday are underway. I know it must be beyond wonderful Daddy even so though, I hope it is not so spectacular that you forget I am here longing for all the days past. Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül,lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
December 19, 2011
Daddy,

Missing you with every Christmas preparation I do. My heart is hurting and I am just so very sad Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 17, 2011
Daddy,

It is snowing outside. I wish I could hear your voice tell me like so many times before, "build me a snowman." I miss so much, all the things you used to say to me. I miss the sound of your voice and the sound of your laughter. I can hear it in the echoes of mind yet it is not the same as having you here with me. My days are so long without you and all the wonderful you brought into my life. Köszönöm Daddy, for all of that wonderful, I will never forget and will always keep it close inside my heart. Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 16, 2011
daddy,

i am having a really rough day. could really use one of your gentle, yet strong hugs. i miss you so much daddy. my heart physically hurts and feels torn into pieces. i know that you never liked it if i was hurting. you always helped make the hurt go away. i know that if you can now somehow you will come and comfort me. please know that i am trying to be okay daddy. it is just gets really hard here without you. come and hold my hand daddy. szeretlek. emlékül. your kiddo, vera leigh
December 16, 2011
Daddy,

Polka dots Daddy, Polka dots. Come be with me Daddy. I miss you Daddy and my heart and soul cry out for you Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy, emlekul, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 14, 2011
Daddy,

I just cannot believe you are not here...and Christmas is almost here. How do I do this without you Daddy? It has been so long since we have been together. I miss our days together, our long phone calls, I miss us. I miss the me I am when I am with you...I Miss You Daddy.

I am still not feeling well at all...my pain seems to be getting worse and I am just so very, very tired. I wish you could come and keep me company Daddy...and hold my hand and sit with me while I try to sleep...you always had such a way of providing me comfort when I did not feel well. I remember how you used to always bring me a Wendy's Frosty to make me feel better. I have not had one since you have been gone. All the things you and I did on the all the days in between all the marker days...holidays, birthdays, grad party's, etc. It is so hard for me not only on the many holidays but on all the days and moments in between. I have been told that I will get used to you not being here. I don't think I ever will get used to that. How do you just wipe away forty-seven plus years in the blink of an eye. Impossible...even if I live to be your age...I will not have live longer without you than with you. I don't like living without you, but I have no choice so here I am...getting through some very tough and lonely days Daddy. I just MISS YOU so much. Szeretlek Daddy, emlekul, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 14, 2011
Daddy,

Tonight I go to my favorite place. I wish you were here so you could offer me some of your positive words of encouragement. I could really use them right about now. Miss your strong yet gentle hugs. I miss you Daddy. I miss everything. Szeretlek Daddy, Emlekul, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 14, 2011
Daddy,

For you Daddy only for you. Daddy, emlékül, lots of love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh


p.s. i hope you can see me from your window in heaven.. come hold my hand tonight, my pain is really bad tonight.
December 13, 2011
Daddy,

I just Love you with all my heart. Missing you more and more with each passing day. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 13, 2011
Daddy,

I am really not feeling well. I wish you could come and sit with me and maybe talk with me like you used to until I fell asleep. I miss talking with you Daddy. I am so very cold too. Please come visit with me Daddy. Missing you more and
more each day. It isn't getting any easier like so many said. I will never get used to you being gone. Szeretlek Daddy, emlékül, lots of love, your kiddo, vera Leigh
December 13, 2011
daddy,

your little girl, your kiddo, needs you.
szeretlek daddy, emlékül, lots of love and hugs, your kiddo, vera leigh

please come hold my hand. i hope you don't forget me daddy.
December 12, 2011
Daddy,

I miss you so much. Don't know how to do any of this without you. My heart is aching. Please come be with Daddy. Szertlek Daddy. Emlékül Daddy. Lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 06, 2011
Daddy,

Such a difficult day for me...I am so very tired...and in very much pain. I wish you were here Daddy...I sure could use your company, your humor, your conversation, your comfort, your hand in mine. I am still trying to figure out what my next step is from a medical point. Looks like JH is going to be the winner...I just have to research which doctor is the right one for me...Not to worry...I will check them all out first...

So sad for me as I continued to complete your grave blanket...my heart ached with sadness and tears as I placed every peace of pine, every ribbon, every ornamentation...Although it is something I am doing to honor you this Christmas I really would have rather been at your home...decorating your house for Christmas...remember last year when you had me put the little stockings on the antlers of the deer I bought for you from a garage sale as a housewarming present...they are still there, on their antlers...I am so grateful that I got to spend many Szent Miklós naps with you Daddy...

Oh how I miss you...how much I miss your voice and hearing you call my name...how much I miss our togethers...our days and hours spent talking, laughing, driving around, sharing a meal, our being together. This is all becoming so real for me...and it hurts terribly...I still just cannot believe that you are gone...I know you are not here...yet at times I think you are going to return...you never stayed away from me Daddy...you and me were always together and when we weren't we were continuously in touch and always knew what the other was doing. Still so very painful and hard for me Daddy.

My faith tells me you are with me...watching over me...protecting me still...and guiding me on the next journey of my life ... but how Daddy? ... How do I travel this journey without you? ... Without you by my side! ...

Are you here Daddy? Can you see me? Do you here me when I talk to you? Can you see me when I cry? Can you see everything I do and don't do? Do you remember who I am? Oh how I wish I could talk with you Daddy. We have so much to catch up on...So many daily things, big things, little things, many things. I want to here all about your new life in Heaven...I have so many questions for you Daddy. Are you happy? Is it beautiful? Are you with Nagymama and Nagypapa? What about Jennifer, Kristina, and Bob? Or what about Pista Basci and Vicki Neni and Keresztpapa? Are you all together now? What do you do all day Daddy? Do they have Pabst Blue Ribbon and Pall Mall's in Heaven? Do they have your favorite foods? Are you warm Daddy? Do you know what I left for you in your pockets? All this and so very much more Daddy...so much more...

I look forward to the day when you and I can sit together once more and share all this and more. I miss you Daddy, more than I ever knew it was possible to miss someone. I want to make you proud Daddy, proud of your little girl, your grown up girl/woman, your kiddo...I am making plans Daddy. Plans I know you would approve of...It is bittersweet though Daddy because I am making these plans without you...yet I believe you are helping me make them...thank you Daddy...I won't let you down Daddy, I will do what I can to be the best I can be...Szeretlek Daddy, emlekul, lots of love, your best kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. my love for you is never ending Daddy. You continue to be a constant in my daily life.
December 06, 2011
Daddy,

I cannot believe that tomorrow is Szent Miklós nap. So many days, hours, minutes, and moments without you...My heart is breaking. No stockings are hung, no shoes or boots to put out just a simple wish for Szent Miklós Basci. I think you know what my Christmas wish is Daddy... perhaps the angels will allow me my Christmas Miracle. Please give My-Girl, Insti, Goldie, and Diamond something for me for Szent Miklós nap
I cannot believe they are not here either. This all just breaks my heart Daddy and my soul continues to cry out for you. Please stay close Daddy...and never ever leave me. Missing you with every breath I take. Szeretlek Daddy, Emlekul, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh.
P.S. Please hold my hand tomorrow Daddy...I will try to imagine that I am wrapped in the comfort of your loving arms.
December 05, 2011
Hi Daddy,

Wishing you were here with me...I Miss You more than anything...working on my Mikolus Nap list...but I think you allready know that anything I could possibly desire cannot be placed under the Christmas tree, however, the angels can still provide...maybe you can give them a little nudge for me, and then I can have my Christmas Miracle...Szeretlek Daddy, Emlekul, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh (longing for the days gone by spent with you)
December 05, 2011
Daddy,

I am feeling very down, sad, scared, and lonely Daddy. This week I have much going on and am not sure how I am going to do this all without you here Daddy. Your ver(l)a leigh, your kiddo, needs you. Please send me the strength and courage you always gave me when you were here...Please ask God to help guide me in the right direction with this esophagus stuff going on with me. You and me both know first hand what can happen. I am scared Daddy...and I need you...I need you with me...Please come hold my hand Daddy...I could sure use one of your strong yet gentle loving hugs...I Miss You Terribly Daddy...more than words could ever possibly describe or explain and there is an emptiness inside of me that makes my days unbearable. I would give anything to have you back...I would give it all away just to have one more day with you,my Daddy...the man who gave me guidance, strength, courage, gentleness, humor, and unconditional love. The man who helped me become the woman I am today...Kosonom Daddy for it all...for every moment you showed me you cared and for all the love you gave me...Szeretlek Daddy, Emlekul, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 04, 2011
Daddy,

Just missing you sooooo much...my heart is hurting...Szeretlek Daddy, Emlekul, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 03, 2011
Daddy,

I hope you like the memory beads I made today...I had such a hard time with it...with no feeling in my fingertips I was having a very difficult time arranging them on the wire...every bead I placed on the wire signified the love you and I shared and your humor...
After that I went and hung out with Diana today...she is having a really hard time right now...maybe you can send an angel her way.
While in Lakewood, unbeknown to her or I, there was some kind of community street thing and they had fireworks there. As I watched them...I remembered how we would always go and see the fireworks...I wondered if you could see them now and thought how beautiful they must look from Heavens Window...I Miss You Daddy...with every breath I take...and my heart and soul continue to cry out for you...Szeretlek Daddy, emlekul, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
p.s. Like the fireworks display I hope you are able to see me through Heaven's Window...
December 02, 2011
Daddy,

I am feeling quite uneasy about my biopsy results...again more decisions...I know all you went through and so much more that you could have underwent ... now I may be heading towards facing the same...but I also know that even though I held your hand and stood by you every step of the way, the difference for me will be that I have you... my Daddy, my angel watching over me...and holding my hand all the way...Even though I know this Daddy I still wish that you could be here physically too...to hold me...put your arm around me...and give me one of your gentle yet strong and loving hugs. I would give anything to here you say "kiddo, it will be allright" Daddy...please stay close...as I have to admit Daddy, I am a little scared of what may be ahead for me. Szeretlek Daddy, emlekul, lots of love, your little girl forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
December 02, 2011
Daddy,

I missed you sooo much yesterday as I had doctors appointments...missed you driving and being with me...and of course all the stories and sightseeing we would have done. No matter where I go or what I do it just is not the same because you are not here with me. Somehow again though you managed to let me know that you are with me always. Thank you for the Miklos Basci...Even though Rose and Tony gave it to me I know that it was from you indirectly...again somehow you letting me know that you are here with me, holding my hand through it all...Thank you Daddy for continuing to look out for me...and be with me...for I could not do this all without you...even so Daddy...again I guess I am selfish because I want all of you here...I want your physical self here...so I can see you, touch you, hear you...be with you...Szeretlek Daddy, Emlekul, your kiddo, vera leigh...
p.s. please help me make the right decisions Daddy as I have many to make right now...somehow please send me some signs as to what I should do...
December 01, 2011
Daddy,

I wish I could just come and pull up a cloud and sit for hours with you and talk about everything...share a conversation...we have so much to catch up on ... when we talked we always lost track of time...we never worried about the time...we just enjoyed each other...I never had to worry about telling you anything...you never judged me or thought differently of me, you just loved me unconditionally, just pure love...I really miss that Daddy...Plus I just miss you being here for me to love...oh how I loved you Daddy. I Miss YOU Daddy...I Love You Daddy...stay close...doctors later today...come and hold my hand...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 30, 2011
Daddy,

Just wanted to say I Love You more than words could ever express....Missing you with my heart and soul as they continue to cry out for you. I could hear you telling me "build a snowman" as we have our first snow...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 30, 2011
Daddy,

I have been having a really tough time with everything...which I guess you know if you are watching over me like everyone says you are. Physically I am struggling alot with my illness and its many overwhelming symptoms as well as trying to recover still from the biopsies they did...can you believe I am still so sick from it...still don't know the results Daddy...guess I will soon...

Emotionally, I am a mess...I am trying to figure out how to do Christmas and everything else without you. I just don't know how to Daddy. I really just feel like I have no joy in me...I try and try and try but I always end up right back where I started, with a huge hole in my heart and missing you more and more. My whole life is so changed now Daddy...and my heart hurts all the time...even when I laugh I am crying inside. I try to tell myself it is because we loved each other sooooo much that the pain is that much stronger yet it does not ease it. I know how lucky I am that I was given the gift of your love and the gift of loving you but I guess I am selfish because I want more, more time with you, more time to love you and to feel your love for me. My days are so empty without you Daddy...my thoughts have nowhere to go...they are just in my head...sometimes they become incredibly overwhelming...and other times I am able to just embrace them.

Right now as I type this letter to you I am taking yet another new medicince and am trying really hard not to be scared of it. I was assured that it was like another that I had taken and I should have no reaction but we know how that works with me. I wish you were here to take my mind off of it...to tell me some of your stories and make me smile as I try and get through the next hour or so. All the things you have always done for me Daddy...from really big to simple everyday things. How will I ever survive in this world without you...I feel so all alone, even when I am in a room filled with people. You were such a part of my everydays and now you are not here...and although many feel I should have moved on I have not...in many ways much of it is only starting. I hurt so bad Daddy...I never wanted to have to live without you...but now here I am trying to make it through the long days and lonely nights. If there is anyway that you can come and be with me tonight especially while I continue to take this new med please come Daddy, please come hold my hand, and keep me close...Your ver(l)a leigh, your kiddo is tired of having to do everything alone...

Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 28, 2011
Daddy,

Nothing more, nothing less...I just miss you all the time...my heart and soul ache for you Daddy...I just do not know how to do this without you Daddy...Please come and be with me...
Szeretlek Daddy, emukel. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 27, 2011
Daddy,

I miss laughing with you Daddy. Life is not the same without you. My heart and soul are filled with sadness and they will never smile as they did when you were here Daddy. Missing you more than words could ever describe. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 25, 2011
Daddy,

I have been sleeping all afternoon/evening. I woke up a little while ago and the first thing that came to my mind is "I have to call Daddy" I don't know why I think this way...I know you are not here. Maybe it is just my wishful or hopeful thinking that you were still here. I had another nightmare tooo...that is what woke me up...I just wish you were here Daddy...I Miss You...Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. tell Insti that her mommie misses her very much...and that my love for her has never ended...please give her some nose rubs for me...kosonom Daddy
November 24, 2011
Daddy,

A very sad Thanksgiving Day for me... Miss you more than ever Daddy...I just wish you and all my furry babies were here with me...If I could come up to heaven and visit with all of you I would be there in a heartbeat...come and stay with me tonight Daddy...you too...My-Girl, Insti, Goldie, and Diamond (mommie is soooo cold and tired) Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

P.S. tell My-Girl mommie misses her Turkey Girl...give her lots of leftovers for me...and lots of pats and nose rubs...and My-Girl give my Daddy a hug and kiss for me...and your lil sissie Insti booh...hard to believe it has been four years, miss all of you with my heart, soul, and mind...it is as if it was just yesterday...
November 24, 2011
Daddy,

Missing you more than words could ever describe...loving you from afar...and holding you in my heart forever...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s...I bet Nagymama is busy making all your favorites for this Holiday...I wish I could sit and share at your table today...I Love You
November 23, 2011
Daddy,

10 months tonight/morning...(our commercial just came on Daddy,the one with the Hershey kisses, so bittersweet)... so long since I have touched you, felt your hugs, touched you and held your hand opr you held mine, smelled the scent of you; the combination of your shaving cream, aftershave, soap, and shampoo and you, heard your voice; saying "kiddo" or "ver(l)a leigh" or "what's up doc?", or telling me one of your stories, see you walk up my driveway, my backsteps, my front staircase, sit in my kitchen, shared with you, a meal, a conversation, the daily events, our outings, our lunches/dinners, our roadtrips, our sillyness, going shopping (never will experience the humor you provided me at the stores, especially Marc's and G.E), and of course the most important, being together and feeling the love we had for each other...It hurts Daddy, you not being here, and I miss you terribly...my love for you will never end.

It is so difficult for me to believe that you are gone...and that I will not be spending Thankgiving with you...or sharing in our Thanksgiving traditions; you sitting in my kitchen talking with me while I cook or bake, our Thanksgiving Day travels to the cemeteries, to Kathy and Josi Basci's and then to Loretta's, and watching "The Sound of Music" together on the Sunday eve after Thanksgiving ... This Thanksgiving although feeling very lonely, alone, and empty, I am grateful and know how lucky I am that You are my Daddy and that I had you in my life to share, laugh, cry, and love with...to have been able to love so deeply that the pain of you not being here now is so unbearably hard. Now the Holiday Season is upon me and the emptiness of you not being here is huge, but for me the emptys are always there for it was not just holidays that were special between us it was all the days in between to...this is so huge...and the longer we are apart the emptier I seem to feel...I feel disconnected from soooo much Daddy...disconnected from my world from our world. I don't want to be, I just am...my connection to it all left the moment you took your final breath Daddy. I am not sure how to regain that but I do believe that you are trying somehow to help me...and so is God's divine love. There are so many little things that occur...just at the right moment...I am so thankful that God helps me to be open to them...to keep my heart open to all the wonders and miracles that happen around me... I am thankful for what you and God has and continue to send me...I Love You Daddy and that will never end...nor will my missing you...my heart and soul continue to cry out for you...I MISS YOU DADDY, SZEREETLEK DADDY, LOTS OF LOVE, YOUR KIDDO, VERA LEIGH

P.S. Struggling alot tonight with both my illness and my pain from all the procedures...a little uneasy, and with the anniversary of you and Insti...please stay with me Daddy...like you always have...
November 23, 2011
November 22, 2011

Daddy,

It was so hard to go to Hillcrest today and have my tests dones. I sat where you and I sat so many times before. I remembered you talking about the pictures on the wall...teasing about how you liked the chair and you wanted me to put it in my car and take it home for you...talking to all the girls and teasing and joking with them...but most of all Daddy I remembered you being there with me...telling me not to be scared and that you were there with me...telling me everything would be okay...and don't worry about it...It's funny no, as much as you could not stand going to the doctor and having things done for you...you were always there with me, by my side supporting me through it all...always telling me it would be okay...oh how I wish you could be with me now...as I continue to go through all this...I am really not quite sure how to keep doing it without you...I need my Daddy to tell me jokes, to make me laugh, to put his arm around me and to hold my hand like you have done so many times before...I am trying really hard to be your "tough cookie" but I am not so sure if I can be that without you here. My life has changed so much since you have gone Daddy and it will never ever be the same. The day you left my world became a lonely, empty place. There is a hole in my heart that only you can fill Daddy...I Miss You terribly. If God would stand and ask me for one wish it would be to allow us to be together again...Loving you with every breath I take Daddy...Szeretlek, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 22, 2011
Daddy,

I am all ready for my tests in the morning...there is someone missing though...you...I wish you were here Daddy so I would not have to do this by myself...I wish you could drive me...and go in with me like you have before...even though these should be easier than Friday's it is still nice when you hold my hand...I miss you sooooo much Daddy...Although I am doing these things and more...I will never get used to you not being here...My heart physically aches Daddy...and I hurt so deeply inside...I wish we could be together again Daddy...I look forward to that day...My heart and soul will always cry out for you. Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 21, 2011
Daddy,

Just wanted to say...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

I Miss You Daddy
November 20, 2011
Daddy,

I'm checking out early...still not feeling well and need to be well rested for tomorrow ...come and see me in my dreams...Missing you with every breath I take...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 20, 2011
Daddy,

Missing you so much Daddy, words cannot even decribe the emptiness I am feeling. This is all so unreal for me. I know that I am doing this but most of the time I feel like I am walking in a fog, or I am moving in slow motion, and I am going to wake up from a very horrific dream...my love and my missing will never end Daddy...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. tell My-Girl mommie needs her to come and curl up with her...I am sooo cold.
November 19, 2011
Daddy,

I cannot help but wonder how much you must of hurt now that they did all this on me...It breaks my heart to think of the pain and discomfort you must have been in Daddy...I never liked to see you hurt or sad...I Miss You Daddy...I hope you can come and visit me soon. Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. I tried to eat a little of your cream of wheat...even that hurt...polka dots and rest Daddy guess that is all I can do for now...wish you were here to keep me company.
November 19, 2011
Daddy,

Missing you lots right now Daddy and really wishing I could pick up the phone and call you...actually I did call your number and the phone just rang and rang...so lonely without you Daddy...I wish I could talk with you Daddy...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel...lots of love your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. still hurting pretty bad from all the medical stuff they did yesterday...if you can please come and relieve my pain...kosonom Daddy...
November 18, 2011
Daddy,

I just got home from having my biopsies Daddy ...it was really hard this time Daddy...they did a total of fifteen biopsies on the suspicious areas as well as other areas ...I have to be honest it really hurt...I tried really hard to think of you and all that you went through, of course you got to sleep through yours, but you were still so brave...I tried to be brave like you Daddy...I am really sore and hurting now from where they cut...but I think I will be okay...I am going to try and rest for the remainder of today...please come be with me...and watch over me Daddy...I missed you sooo much today...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 17, 2011
Daddy,

Your "tough cookie" is feeling a little nervous about tomorrows scope and biopsies...I wish you were here so you could take my mind off of it like you have done so many times for me...or to give me one of your hugs...I really really miss those hugs Daddy...Please stay with me tonight and throughout tomorrow as I undergo my procedures...I admit I am a little scared...it is hard to be strong all the time...with all this medical stuff...so please just be with me Daddy...Kosonom Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy, emukel...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 17, 2011
Daddy,

I saw Dr. Malgeri today. We spent the first ten minutes talking about you...and how you joked with him about your gypsy pain...I got all teary eyed and he was very kind...of course...It was hard for me to be there...I was in the same examining room as you...I envisioned you sitting there while he examined you...I could hear your voice as you joked around with him...I Miss You Daddy...I missed being with you today...and everyday...for that matter.

After we spoke of you then we got down to me. Every time I go to the doctor it leads to more appointments...I sound like you now...I still go tomorrow for my scope and biopsies but now I am scheduled for some more tests on Tuesday morning...7:30 am to be exact...I know I am not exactly an early bird like you but...because I have to fast for them they want me to do them early so I don't run into sugar problems. I say lets just get them over with...Once these tests are completed then the final decision will be made on whether or not I am going to be having surgery...Right now it is leaning toward the direction that I will be...I definitely will need you with me then Daddy...so make your plans...

When I was done with my appointment I went to the valet to get my car and as I waited, I realized that if you were with me we would be talking with everyone...or at least you would be...You had such a way about you Daddy, everyone always talked with you and you with them...I miss that...

I then went to visit with Kathy (Kati) and Josi Basci. While there Kathy and I were talking and I told her that I was going to make myself a robe because I could not find the kind that I was looking for, a floor length velour one with a zipper down the front. Much to my surprise she said I might have one like what your looking for and it was Nagymama's...We went to her upstairs closet and there it was...Nagymama's robe...she told me she never wore it but just never had the heart to give it away...but that she would like me to have it...Tell Nagymama for me that I remember this robe...and I could actually picture her in it...please tell her that I will treasure it...and will always have her near when I wear it...I think you and her actually had something to do with that today...so Kosonom to both of you...

After I left Kathy's I decided to drive through Buckeye to go home...So hard for me Daddy, but sometimes it makes me feel closer to you...I saw our house on 115th...still do not like what they did to it...I drove by your hangouts (phase III, VIP, old 2890 club, Janet's and Sandy's too...I reminisced of days gone by...I remembered TipTop, Rosenblums, Wooolworths, Baskins, iffshagi (spelling), St. Stephens and of course the HBT as well as much much more. How I would love to be able to go back in time and have those days with you...and everyone in our little ethnic neighborhood back ...those times really were the best times...a time when people genuinely cared about people, a time when technology had not yet taken over and people actually sat down and talked face to face...a time of sharing both laughter and tears but sharing none the less, a true sense of family and friendship. What wonderful times we had there Daddy, what wonderful friends we had...I miss those days Daddy,but most of all I miss you.

My days are so long and lonely without you here...and although I am trying to keep myself busy and involved it does not take away the pain of you not being here. I don't think anyone really understands that keeping busy does not take my mind off of you...I think they either forget or don't know that when you were here I lived and breathed you no matter what I was doing or where I was you were always on my mind and we were always in the loop and would meet up somehow...so for me when I am out and about it is only natural to look for you, to think about you, to miss you. It does not matter if I am home or out and about ... you were a part of my everyday's and all the little things throughout the days...It does not just stop because you are gone...my way of being and living does not just change because you are gone...it is not something you just get used to...at least not for me...I still see something and think oh I have to call Daddy and tell him or I pick up the phone to call you as soon as I walk in the door...or when I get ready for bed or wake up in the morning. Time has not changed any of that Daddy...maybe it is because the numbing has just now started to wear off, I don't know...all I know is that for me, it hurts just as much if not more as the moment you took your last breath. It makes it harder because everyone thinks I should be moved on...but what they don't realize is for me our seperation really has just begun...and that my pain is so often unbearable. My heart and soul continue to weep and sob and they continue to cry out for you. Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 17, 2011
Daddy,

Well it is official...the Holidays are coming...I saw our commercial tonight on TV...the one that I have always loved and the one that you used to call the Hungarian commercial...You remember Daddy, the commercial with the red, silver (almost white looking), and green (Hungarian colors) with the Hershey kisses, and they ring like bells too the tune of "we wish you a Merry Christmas)...and then the last one goes "whew" when they are done... you and I always got such a kick out of it...I could hear you saying to me "there's the Hungarian commercial"... it has always been a favorite of mine and yours....I never knew a commercial could make me feel so sad and cry Daddy...but tonight it hit me again that you will not be here to share with me all the little joys of the Holdays...I Miss YOu soooooo much Daddy...how am I going to do this without you? My heart and soul cry out for you Daddy...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 16, 2011
Daddy,

I am going to go get my hair cut and painted today...at Sally's shop...I can hear you now saying..."I cut it for you." Will miss you driving me...My heart and soul continues to cry out for you...keep me close today after my nightmare last night...you always comforted me whenever I had a bad nightmare....Szeretlek Daddy, emukel...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 14, 2011
November 14, 2011 (1:00am)
Daddy,

I can't sleep...lots of things are running around in my mind...It is a Sunday night...so many things happened on Sunday nights...so much on my mind...I am meeting with the surgeon this week...Dr. Malgeria...you remember him... he is the one that discovered you had cancer...then I am having my scope and biopsy on my stomach and esophagus...wish you were here to take me...a little nervous about it all I guess...but not to worry I am your "tough cookie"...come and hold my hand during it all...

Missing you sooooooo much tonight Daddy...still cannot believe this is real...that you are not here...like I am living in the most horrific nightmare ever...just waiting to wake up...I wish you could call me from Heaven...if they had phones there...my long distance bill would be huge...so much to talk with you about Daddy...so much to tell you...don't want to tell anyone else...just you Daddy...I wish God would let you come back so we could have one of our long talks...but I guess it does not work that way...I wonder if you see me...or hear me...I wonder if you are standing next to me...I wonder if you even remember me... I wonder so many things ... are you warm, are you cold ... are you scared...are you lonely...are you happy ...? oh I hope you are happy Daddy ... I never liked to see you sad... I Love You Daddy...come and see me soon please...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh...sending you lots of kisses and hugs...with lots of love
November 13, 2011
Daddy,

It is a nice night, it is windy but not to cold...You and I would probably have gone up to the hillybilly bar for a while...I wish I could come over and hang out at your house...I miss sitting at your table and visiting with you. We had a lot of really good talks at your table. (I have not sat at it since you've gone, really miss those times) Some serious, some funny...but always good. I Miss our times together Daddy...Missing you with every breath I take...my heart and soul continue to cry out for you...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. please tell My-Girl mommie loves her a whole bunch and I miss her terribly...give her lots of pets and nose rubs for me...kosonom Daddy
November 13, 2011
Daddy,

Another Sunday...another day without you here...I watched mass on TV today because I was to ill to go in person. I thought of how you would always watch it on Sunday mornings and then later tell me "I beat you to mass," then you would laugh. Oh how I miss our Sunday morning phone calls, I miss all our phone calls...all the things you would tell me...the daily news, that you are ready to go...and then we would plan our day...it is just so difficult day after day...because I know I will not ever have all those little moments with you...it was all those little moments that we shared that were my special and that made my world go round and round. Moments with you Daddy, little or big they were always the highlights of my days. I try to keep myself busy with this and that but all the busy in the world, in my world does not take away the emptiness I feel...how could I not feel empty, you were such an important part of my everyday's...you were my joy for the day...I miss you more than words can ever express Daddy...and it just feels lonely in my world without you here...

Today marks 5 mths since My-Girl went to be with you...another lonely...I miss her as well as her sissie and brother...I know that you are taking care of her and them for me...but it just adds to the emptys Daddy. I miss it all and although I am trying to fill these empty holes it seems as if nothing I do will fill them...and I am left with even more. I Miss You Daddy, tell My-Girl, Insti, and Goldie their mommie misses them and loves them very much. Please give them all nose rubs from me...and tell My-Girl I hope they have turkey in heaven for "my turkey girl"...I Love You Daddy... I Miss You with all my heart...and soul...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 12, 2011
Daddy,

Really having problems with my illness today...thyroid, liver, etc...I know how much it bothered you when I would be ill...would you ask God if He could send me some relief...I would ask but He does not seem to hear me or maybe He just does not want to answer me right now ...maybe you can come and keep me company Daddy...like you used to when I did not feel well. I Miss You Daddy, Szeretlek, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 12, 2011
Daddy,

Although the sun is shining outside today, there is no sunshine in my heart ... without you I am not sure if there ever will be...missing you more and more...Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 11, 2011
Daddy,

I missed you today...your smile, your voice, your laughter, your jokes, your stories...I Missed You... How do I fill the empty in my heart Daddy? I don't believe it is possible because only the empty can be filled by you...an empty so big it engulfs me often...my world is such a lonely place now Daddy...it is hard for me to see the rest of the world go on as if you never existed...you did exist I know that, and I was a part of your existence...Szeretlek Daddy, Please don't forget me as so many do...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 11, 2011
To my Daddy, my Favorite Veteran,

This candle will burn forever, a true Veteran. How lucky I am that I not only was given the privilege of honoring you on Veterans Day but honoring you as my Daddy ever day. My love & honor will always burn for you as brightly as this candle does.

Wishing you were here so we could start our travels today ... how you loved going out to eat at the many places that honored veterans on Veterans Day. The stories you would share with me and many of the waitress'/waiters on this special day. They are locked within my mind, heart, and soul Daddy. Missing you more than my heart can bear. So many moments to miss Daddy, so many memories ... I treasure those memories and moments, yet it is so difficult and painful for me because I know there are not any more memories to make together. Loving and Missing you with my heart, soul, mind, and every breath I take. Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 11, 2011
Daddy,

How proud you always were that you served in the army, 82nd Airborne. The stories you shared with me about your army life. Thank you for serving our country Daddy. I will miss our going out today in honor of you, the greatest veteran I will ever know. Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 10, 2011
Daddy, (8:32 pm)

When I awoke today I woke in sadness, a sadness and heartache that has been knawing at me all day...I thought it was because of tommorrow being veterans day but then I knew. One year ago today, tonight, you rang your bell, and received your diploma, as you completed your final radiation treatment ...The staff especially Melissa (your radiation nurse) and I clapped our hands for you, and that smile, that wonderful smile of yours was so radiant...you had completed it and you were glad it was over, as was I. You joked around with everyone and talked about your gypsy tumor and then we headed home. Once we got home however, a stillness feeled the air and you told me you were scared... you told me not so much of dying but of how you were going to die. You and I talked for a long time that night ... we talked about your living ... we talked about your dying ... we talked about how you, as well as I, knew it would be soon...you still smiled but with a glimpse of sadness in your eyes...we talked about what may and may not happen...we talked about what happens after someone dies...we shared much that night Daddy...words full of gentleness, kindness, fear, and sadness. You told me (words I will never forget) "I Love You Kiddo, I am happy you are my kiddo:" I told you back "I Love You Daddy, and how lucky I am to be your little girl, your kiddo." Then we both got teary eyed as we talked about being apart from each other. How honored, lucky, and blessed I am that I was allowed the privelege of sharing that moment, a moment of many moments past and yet to come, but a moment to treasure and cherish in my heart forever, for you and I were on our final journey together here on earth. A journey that perhaps completed a part for each of us. Again Daddy I repeat the words I said that night one year ago now actually. "I Love You Daddy, and how lucky I am to be your little girl, your kiddo." I will always feel that way Daddy, and I will always be grateful for all you have done for me, given me, and for the guidance, friendship, and love you gave me. How lucky I am that you are and always will be "My Daddy." Szeretlek Daddy, Emukel, lots of love, your little girl, your kiddo forever, your ver(l)a leigh.

P.S. The moon is so huge tonite...as I gaze at it I imagine you are shining your light on me...and holding me in your arms ... the arms that always made me feel safe and loved.
Tomorrow is Veterans Day Daddy another day of emptys for me...I will honor you the best I know how.
November 10, 2011
Hi Daddy,

Come and give me a hug please, need to feel your arms around me today...Szeretlek Daddy, Emukel Daddy, lots of love, your little girl forever, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. thanks for the light bulb
November 10, 2011
Daddy,

It is a bright and sunny day outside but inside my heart it is cloudy and stormy...Missing you with every breath I take...Every morning when I wake it starts all over, the realization that you are not here, you are not going to park in front of my house, or walk up my stairs and say "What's up vera leigh?" or "Hello Kiddo," or sit in my kitchen with me and spend the afternoon talking away, when before we knew it it was night time. You and I could talk for hours and not even realize the time past. I miss those days Daddy, I miss all our moments together, all our phone calls, our road trips, our lunches, and shopping trips...I just miss it all Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 10, 2011
To the Bestest Daddy ever,

I wish I could turn not only the clocks back but the calendar back too...I wish I could go back to a time when we were always together. Instead I now have to look to the forward and hope for the day when we will be together once again...I Miss You...Szeretlek, emukel. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 09, 2011
Daddy,

Just wishing you were here...days are very long, empty, and lonely without you. Szeretlek Daddy, Emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh...

p.s. come back so we can go for one of our road trips Daddy...
November 09, 2011
Daddy,

I Miss You Soooooooo Much Daddy...My heart and soul physically ache ... until I get home to heaven and am once again reunited with you I will always have this unbearable ache...it will never go away. I Love You Daddy...Emukel...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 06, 2011
Daddy,

The Sunday newspaper hit me hard today as there is so much in there that you would be telling me and we would be talking about in regards to the county corruption...how that whole thing really got under your skin...I miss you telling me all the news Daddy and everything going on in the world...I try and tell you now but I don't think I do as well as you always did Daddy. You just had such a way about you Daddy. I Miss You Daddy...Loving you with every breath I take. My days are so long and difficult because you are not here to share in them with me. My world became the loneliest place in the universe the day you took your last breath. I will always miss you Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy, Emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 05, 2011
Daddy,

Missing and Loving you with every breath I take...could really use a Daddy hug right about now...Emukel, Szeretlek Daddy.
lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 05, 2011
Daddy,

Today is Jennifer's Birthday...I am sure she is with you, her Nagypapa, as well as Kristina, Bob, her Demama, Depapa, and even Keresztpapa and Carol. Please keep Loretta close today as I have no doubt that this is a very difficult day for her...maybe you and Jennifer could pay her a visit. I Love You Daddy, I Miss You...we all hold all of you near our hearts today and always. Szeretlek Daddy, emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 05, 2011
Daddy,

The past few days have been very difficult, between my illness and grieving for you I have had many struggles. I am so grateful that I was able to at least be well enough to partake in Halottak Napja for you and the rest of the family. I am also thankful that I did not have to do this alone, thank you Daddy. I do hope I made you proud even though I made errors in the Hungarian prayers, and that you like your flowers. It was difficult in so many ways Daddy, and as the day continued on I became more and more lonely and sad, as if I had just buried you today. By the time I went to St. Ann's for the prayer service I was overcome by so much sadness and empty. The candle lit prayer vigil was beautiful and even though there was a flub it was still spiritually enriching. After, as you know, I went to hang out with Dianna, and we went to the park to do our own prayer ceremony, trying to correct the flub, ... I felt so alone Daddy, but I have to thank you for the dog and the man that came up to me. Unbelievable as the dog took a liking to me, and when I asked its name and I heard its owner say "Cleo" I knew it was you telling me "everything is okay and thank you kiddo for today." Somehow between you and God I receive these messages as long as I am open to them...kosonom Daddy, without I think I would be in a dark hole. After Wednesday, my illness took over and I have been trying to deal as best as I can, but the isolation sets in also, and it just makes it harder to cope with all of this. Today I am feeling a little better, well enough to go out for a while and soak up some of the sunshine and beatiful day God has provided. Of course I am going to go hang with Dianna...I remember how you and her always used to joke around and talk with each other either here at home or at Ursuline. I am fortunate to have such a good friend...and I am grateful...so I am off now to get myself together, and go to park and have kave...with her. Come join us Daddy, we would love to have you...
Szeretlek Daddy, I Miss You more and more with every breath I take...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
November 01, 2011
November 01, 2011
Daddy,

I don't yet know how I am going to get through tomorrow, Halottak Napja, and although I am getting things ready for it I never in my life wanted this day to come. I will do it for you Daddy, I want to make you proud.

Én elküldi magát a szeszes italok holnap. Jutka lesz rám a temeto a támogatást.

Tell Nagymama and Nagypapa, I will also see them tomorrow...it will be different because we will not be going together Daddy. Please watch over me.

It will also be difficult as I will be going to St. Ann's with Kerestzmama for mass...many painful memories there for me...Stay with me Daddy and hold me close please.

Kosonom Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh




~ vera leigh
November 01, 2011
Daddy,

This is so very hard...please keep me from falling...Szeretlek Daddy. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 31, 2011
Daddy,

Today is Haloween and your ghost from Angelo (2890 Club) is happy. I miss hearing you tell me "I am ready for Haloween kiddo, the ghost is happy and it is singing, it is its Holiday." How you loved playing with the ghost and startling people with it. Such a sense of humor you always had Daddy. Please come and make the ghost sing today/night Daddy, I will know it is you. Missing you with every breath I take Daddy. Szeretlek, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 30, 2011
Daddy,

It was really, really, hard ... Missing you...I Love You...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 29, 2011
Daddy,

Küldj téglákat nekem a falamért Daddy...Csókokkal mond köszönetet neked. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 29, 2011
Daddy,

Missing you sooooo much .... my heart and soul physically hurt ... Tonight I will be going to Marika's and Michaels for Keresztmama's 80th Birthday...it is so difficult to go without you...and there will be an empty in me because you will not be there...I am trying to continue on Daddy...but it is very painful, and sad...Szeretlek Daddy...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. please come with me tonight Daddy...I will tell Keresztmama "Boldog Szuletesnapot" from you, Ocsi...
October 28, 2011
Daddy,

Nine months ago today, We, vera leigh, Janie, and Louise (Loretta), your three Hungarian gypsy girls, your Hungarian hillybilly's (sorry mom but he loved calling us that), as well as your son-n-laws, grandchildren, Joszi, Kathy, Keresztmama, your nieces, nephew, and all the remaining members of your family and friends ... celebrated you, the life you lived, the love you shared, the humor and laughter you gave to us all, the friendship and kindness you showed us all. We will always treasure you Daddy, the gifts you gave to each of us. Each of us hold near and dear to our hearts the moments we spent with you, the memories you gave us all and your presence in our lives, All of this and more is soooo missed, you are missed Daddy. It is hard to go on without you Daddy and now our faith in God's gift of eternal life must sustain us until we are together again, a day of joyful reunion. I Love You Daddy, as do we all, and that will never end, for the joy and love you gave lives within us all. I Miss You Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy, Emukel Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh (the little girl and grown woman who has seen moonbeams in your eyes since she was born).
October 28, 2011
Daddy,

Köszönöm for all the light bulbs today...I will never believe anything different. Today has been so unusual for me...and I believe you understand ... for the first time since you've gone, I truly felt the Divine Love of God...which in turn means I felt your love...which I have missed so terribly...I do not know how long it will stay but I will relish in the feelings and hold onto to them as best as I can...I do know that this is only the beginning and I may step back but I know somehow you will be there for me Daddy as you always have...Even so, I still wish you were here...and that you could have stayed forever...Daddy, I hope you are preparing and saving a place for me...because I look forward to the day when I will hear you say "after while croccidile" and "I Love You kiddo" those words will be music to my heart and soul...words I will cherish...Missing you Daddy, remembering where I was nine months ago, what I was doing, and the moment my music stopped...Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. maybe you can come and help bring some music back into my heart...
October 27, 2011
Daddy,

I just Love You...No if ands or buts...and that will never end....See you later alligator...Szeretlek Daddy,
lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 26, 2011
Daddy,

The pain is really bad tonight...I only ask that You and God help me find comfort in this journey...Daddy, thank you for loving me unconditionally...I will always remember Jozsi Basci's words "there is no greater love than the love between vera and ocsi (me and you). For me you made loving you easy Daddy. With all your gentleness, kindness, humor, laughter, and love. I Love You Daddy...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 26, 2011
Daddy,

Missing you with every part of my being...turning to God and You for grace, peace, and comfort. I Miss You more today than yesterday...As I reflect on the many moments and memories I cannot help but Love You More. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, vera leigh, your kiddo
October 26, 2011
Daddy,

Polka Dots and Palinka...I figure they go well with all my polka dots...I know these aren't the polka dots either of us like...but I will get through with your help Daddy...
Szeretlek Daddy, I Miss You...lots of love, vera leigh, your kiddo
October 25, 2011
Daddy,

I hope you like your fall flowers Daddy. When you were here I always had so much to do now I sit in silence day after day...my days are long and lonely and I miss our being together. I miss our conversations, our laughter, I miss us...The days for me are so long now since you have gone...I always have to try and figure out how to keep myself busy to try and make the time go by...but no matter what I do my heart, soul, and mind are occupied with thoughts and memories of you Daddy. Now that I am beginning to transition to hypo my days are even longer as my physical strength is lessening...please come be with me Daddy...I Miss You...I Miss Us...I Miss our shared times together...and I will never forget you...Emukel Daddy,
I LOVE YOU...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh.
October 24, 2011
Daddy,

I just cannot believe it has been nine months...the pain is as strong as if it were yesterday...yet the missing is as if it has been forever...Missing and loving you with every breath I take...Szeretlek Daddy, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 24, 2011
Daddy,

My heart is very heavy . . . Missing you more and more each day...Love your little girl forever, your kiddo, vera leigh...I Love You...Szeretlek Daddy...Emukel...
October 24, 2011
October 24, 12:58 a.m.

For you Daddy,

By your side I silently laid,
as I wrapped my arms around you;
I did not want you to suffer,
goodbye I could not say.
Tightly I held on,
and prayed you'd never leave,
but God had other plans,
and called you to His home.

Nine months has now since past,
and I struggle every day;
for you're not here to share with me,
the love we had so strong.
A sadness echoes loudly
inside my heart each day,
and even though I know,
the time will come someday,
when God will send you for me,
together once more we'll be:
Tonight my heart is breaking,
as the pain remains so strong,
for I will always remember
the night you slipped away.

Daddy it has been nine months (273 days/393,120 minutes/23.687,200 seconds) since Nagymama guided you into the journey of eternal life. I Miss You Soooooooo Much Daddy, and my heart and soul continue to cry out for you. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 23, 2011
Daddy,

It is a beautiful, sunny, Sunday morning...if you were here you and I would be going for a ride in the country...after Sunday dinner/lunch. I wish we could have those moments back Daddy...it feels like yesterday yet it seems like forever since I saw you sitting in my kitchen, or heard you call me kiddo, or heard your wonderful laughter, or kissed your cheek, or hugged each other...so many things Daddy, that only you gave me, only you provided me with...such a huge part of my daily life...a huge part of me and who I am...when I awake in the morning the first thing I still do is pick up the phone to call you...how we loved to talk with each other...so lonely without you...I know you have given me soooo much throughout my life...and I am sooooo grateful...but I still want more...I just cannot imagine, even still, my life without you in it...you have always been the constant in my life...always been my friend as well as my Daddy...always been my joy ... and now my days are long and empty ... I search for things to do...to help ease the pain Daddy...as I know you loved life...I am trying to continue loving life... yet without you here...my life is not and never will be the same...I have so much on my mind Daddy...so many struggles and I wish you and I could sit and talk together about them...I need your wisdom Daddy...you had such a way of looking at things...I ask myself many times "what would Daddy tell me or suggest," or "how would you help me, guide me." I try to do this Daddy, because I know you, I know how you saw things, how you approached so many things, how you looked and saw things, I know you Daddy...and how lucky I am that I do...Wishing you could come back and we could continue to share our lives and our love...I MISS YOU DADDY...and I ALWAYS WILL. Szeretlek Daddy, Emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh...
October 23, 2011
Daddy,

invisible Daddy, just invisible...I Miss You Daddy...I Love You more with every breath I take . . . Emukel and Szeretlek Daddy...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 22, 2011
Daddy,

Missing and Loving you every second, every minute, every hour of my days...it never ends...
Szeretlek, Daddy, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 22, 2011
Daddy,

Since I am the one who always fills you in on what is going on in everyone's life I want to let you know that Louise is in the hospital and she is quite ill...Please watch over and give her comfort and send her angels for healing, as I am sure that you are.
Szeretlek Daddy, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 22, 2011
Daddy,

I miss you sooooo much that my heart is physically aching...if it is possible to die from a breaking heart I think I would. The pain I feel is so unimaginable...you were always so present in my everyday life...and now you are not here...and although I am trying it is just so very hard and painful for me...I wish I could hold your hand again...or better yet you could hold mine...it is just sooooo lonely here without you Daddy...you have always been my best friend, my confidant, my hero, my joy, my rock, my Daddy, the man I loved and still love so dearly and deeply...and who I loved spending time with...you lit up my life and now it as if the light has gone out and there is darkness all around. Please come put your arms around me and comfort me in my pain...Szeretlek Daddy, Emukel...your kiddo, vera leigh
October 19, 2011
Daddy,

It has been a very long and trying day for me ... itchy, swollen, sore, and tired. Time for polka dots, hot tea with honey, and back to bed for me...I wish you were here to cheer me up...I miss you Daddy...Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. please continue to stay close and hold my hand...the week is not over yet...
October 18, 2011
Daddy,

Polka Dots Daddy, just Polka Dots...Stay with me Daddy, stay with me please.

Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 18, 2011
Daddy,

It was so hard to go to the doctor alone today. . . I missed having you with me...Tell Dora that after the doctorsthat I stopped in St. Margaret's credit union (something you and I always did) to visit with her mom, she too is enveloped in grief, pain and sadness. We talked about you and Dora and how only a year ago we were all standing there together talking and laughing. How time changes everything. Please let Dora know that I am sending her mom pictures of her and I from when we were in grade and high school, I just wish I had found them sooner for her to see. Pictures are our treasures. After, I went to visit with Kathy and Josi Basci for a while. He too was exhausted from his doctors appointment. It has been a long and trying day Daddy, and there is a loudness in the silence, it is deafening. I miss you sooo much Daddy...please stay close and remember to hold my hand while I continue with all these doctor visits this week...Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. time for me to take a nap...please come visit me in my dreams Daddy...emukel
October 18, 2011
Daddy,

I cannot sleep...I have alot on my mind tonight . . . so I thought I would write to you ... I wish I knew what you were doing right now...I wonder what you do all day ... I wonder what it is like in Heaven ... Is it a place just like here, except with everything peaceful, happy, brighter, and full of love? A place so filled with a love so powerful that it embraces you completely! A place that we who have not gone yet cannot even imagine.

Can you really see me? Can you really hear me when I talk to you? Do you know what is going on in my life? Does Nagymama make all your favorites? Is she taking care of you? I imagine she is because you have always been her "Osci." I wonder if Nagypapa sings and paints all day. Do they have Pabst Blue Ribbon, Choc-Full-of-Nuts Kave, Carnation can milk, and Pall Mall's in Heaven? Is Pista Basci and Viki Neni with you? What about Keresztpapa, Jennifer, and Kristina? Do you get to play with Flasher's I & II? Is Cleo there with you? What about Tigger and Snow-White; are they with you too? Do you miss me Daddy?

I don't understand all these things Daddy. The only thing I really understand is that we are no longer together and my life is filled with all these empty spaces and my heart has a big hole in it. I try to picture you happy and not hurting but I worry about you. I worry if you are okay. I am trying to be okay but to be honest, without you here it is not so easy. Living without you is the hardest thing I have ever had to do Daddy and I am not okay... and I don't know if I ever will be again. Inside I am so scared and lonely. I will never have in my life again what you and I shared and that makes my heart and soul cry. The bond we shared was undeniable and there just are no words to describe the beauty of it; just as there are no words to explain the pain I feel since you have been gone.

I try to get through the days yet, no matter what I do or where I go the pain stays with me. I am told that someday my pain will lessen and instead will be replaced with the love we shared. I don't really understand that because I do feel and know the love we shared and that is why I hurt so badly. I no longer have you here in my daily life to share that love with. I know I have to keep my faith and hold onto my belief that we will be together again someday. But what do I do in the meantime Daddy? How do I live without you in my life? No one can give me an answer? I don't think they have one. All I know is that I miss you more and more every day and that although everyone thinks I am doing better I am not. Inside it is as if I am shattered and like I have been swallowed up by some dark monster. You used to make the monsters go away Daddy. I wish you could come back Daddy. I Love You as much today as I always have...you are carved inside my heart and that will always be. Szeretlek Daddy, Emukel, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 17, 2011
Daddy,

Please watch over me over the rest of this week as I undergo all this medical testing ... I really wish you were here Daddy, not only to drive me to my all of my appointments and tests ... as you have so many times before ... but to help take my mind off of it all. Whenever you would take me you always had the ability to make me forget what was going on and instead would provide me comfort through your sense of humor, your stories, and your presence; as well as your comforing shoulder. Somehow you just always knew what I needed at the moment. I will be asking you to hold my hand while I do this stuff as well as to wrap your arms around me. Please just stay close...I know you will if you can. I Miss You Daddy...and I will miss hearing more of your stories and our roadtrip through Buckey with you on the way to my appointments ... Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 17, 2011
Daddy,

Missing you soooo much ... It is a crisp fall day and the sun is shining brightly...If you were here we would go for one of our rides to the country to see all the beautiful fall colors on the trees...I miss all these moments with you Daddy. I still cannot believe that you are not here.

This morning when I awoke I grabbed the phone and dialed your number...the phone just rang and rang...and then my heart stopped...because you were not on the other end to answer it Daddy ... I just don't know how to do this without you ... I don't know how to live life without you ... my days are so long and lonely ... and there is a loudness in the silence ... My heart hurts so much Daddy ... My life is so changed now and it is just so lonely, empty, painful, and sad. I want us to be together, I want those days back ... and then I want to make time stand still. No one knows me like you Daddy ... and I struggle daily without you. Daddy please come and be with me. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 16, 2011
Daddy,

The school choir sang today at mass ... it was beautiful ... It brought me back to the days when I was in the choir, while in grade school at St. Margaret of Hungary. I remembered how you, and sometimes Nagypapa, would come and here me sing...Oh how I loved being in the choir. You were both so proud. It is so beautiful when children sing for God ... it is as if the angels are singing.

Although beautiful, it became bitter sweet for me as one of the hymns sung was one that we sang at your funeral, "Here I Am Lord." My first reaction was one of pain and sadness and I could feel the ache in my heart, however, I then decided within myself to feel the beauty and relish in the sweet sounds of the music and the children's voices. As I did that I was able to sing from my heart for both you and God as I did at your funeral. I could feel your presence surround me, almost as if you were watching over me and surrounding me with your love the same way I felt at your funeral celebration mass. I remember it all Daddy...and I will never forget...it is engrained in both my heart and my mind.

Thank you for wrapping your arms around me through mass today...I Love how you continue to find ways to take care of and look out for me...I miss you Daddy...and my heart and soul continue to cry out for you...

Szeretlek Daddy, Emukel, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 16, 2011
Daddy,

Please come watch over me as I try and sleep...I am so very tired yet so uncomfortable having a hard time sleeping...maybe you can send me some sweet dreams...and tuck me in like you did when I was a little girl..."snug as a bug in a rug." I Love You Daddy, hopefully I will see you in my dreams...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. I miss you
October 15, 2011
Daddy,

I have always been your little girl, your kiddo, Daddy's little girl. Over the years I became the woman You helped me blossom into through and with your unconditional love, kindness, gentlenees, support, humor, openess, and willingness to share. Even so Daddy, today, as that grown woman, I will always need you to take care of me and stay by my side: I will always be the little girl who saw moonbeams in your eyes, cherished every word you spoke, and worshipped the ground you walked on. I MISS & LOVE you so much Daddy...and I want to thank you for being the BEST DADDY that any little girl and grown woman could have ever asked for...You truly have been and are my gift from God...I am so lucky Daddy...I will always treasure you and I am privileged to be your daughter.

Szeretlek Daddy, Missing you more and more with every breath I take. lots of love, your little girl, your kiddo, your ver(l)a leigh
October 15, 2011
Daddy,

I am feeling a little better today, physically my pain is not as severe so I am able to at least move around a bit today. Last night, after I watched one of our favorite Doris Day movies, I put the TV on for a while. A commercial came on that I wished so much you could have seen with me ... we would have laughed so hard together; I could here your incredible laugh surround me.

The commercial was about two cats and the type of litter in each of their boxes. One was a generic brand and the other was a brand name. They both walked up to their litter boxes and the kitty with the generic brand smelled it, stood up on its hind legs, fell backwards, and closed its eyes as if it went unconscious. The other kitty, the one with the brand name litter box, came over to it and began giving it CPR and the kitty awoke with a smile. It was so funny that I actually taped it ... and you know how much I despise commercials. I am going to show it to J, seeing that she too is a cat person like us, I think she too will get a kick out of it.

Even the simplest of things, like watching TV, brings it all back Daddy, and although I laughed aloud, I also felt a sadness inside of me because you were not here to share this with me. So many things we shared together, so many everyday things, that I miss soooo much...I am not sure how to get through all this, as the pain becomes unbearable. I wish I could fly up to Heaven and visit with you...I wish we could sit together and catch up on all the daily things, the little things and the big things ... Daddy, I Miss you more than I ever knew possible, I miss the me that I am when I am with you. I thank God for what He has given me and the people he has brought into my life since you have gone, but they are not you Daddy, and cannot replace the time we shared and would be sharing if you were still here. Please come and wrap your arms around me like you have so many times before. I always loved the way you hugged me, my special hugs...I will close my eyes and remember the feeling.

Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. I wish I could come to heaven and show you the commercial...
October 14, 2011
Daddy,

I am still not feeling well...off to bed I go ... I will be thinking of you as I drink my hot tea with honey (and maybe some palinka) and watch some of the old movies you and I used to watch together. I will be missing you as I watch them and remembering how we would talk about and laugh while we watched. Come watch with me Daddy, and bring me a snuggle hug and a kiss too...I Love You Daddy, Please don't forget me...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh...

P.S. Please bring My-Girl, Insti, and Goldie with you too...tell them their mommie needs them to snuggle with her...you might as well bring Snow-white, Tigger, Flasher I & II and Cleo and of course Diamond too... Köszönöm Daddy . . .Én leszek várakozás te.
October 14, 2011
Hi Daddy,

I Love You...I Miss You...

lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 13, 2011
Daddy,

It has been a very strange day for me...not really sure what my emotions have been doing but they have been all over the place. It has been 4 months now since My-Girl went to be with you and although I laughed and was silly alot today...inside my heart was crying...so much that I wanted to scream aloud, and be held while I let the tears flow ... yet I was afraid to let someone know just how much I was hurting inside...so instead I just laughed and danced around it all.
Maybe that is my way of protecting myself...from letting some get too close for fear of how they will see me... or reject me ... I never felt that way with you Daddy...if I hurt, or was in pain I knew I could tell you
and that you would not think any differently of me...that you would just love me unconditionally...no matter what ... other times I think I just am hoping someone will notice that inside I am dying and that my soul is screaming please hold me, help me, comfort me while I cry...and please don't let me be alone...while I do...you knew how to do that Daddy, without me every saying a word...you just knew...I was always able to put myself in the palm of your hand and know that I would be safe and free
to feel whatever I needed to feel, and then all would be okay.

I still cannot believe you are not here Daddy...it just does not seem real...I feel like I have been living in a state of unconcsiousness and soon I will wake up and there you will be standing in front of me...holding My-Girl and all my furry babies
in your arms...like you did so many times before. Idm missing her so much too...I think Snickers has been trying to comfort me as she keeps hovering around me...I wish you were here Daddy...tonight has not become any less difficult.

I have not been feeling well at all tonight...my head is spinning and I am dizzy, and my pain is really severe
right now ... so I am going to try to go to bed early ... I wish you were here to give me some of your wonderful humor and so we could tell each other "I'm checking out" as well as being able to say "jo ejszakat" to each other ...Daddy could ask God to send me a few miracles...I know you and He know what I am praying for...

Missing you more and more with every breath I take and every fiber of my being. Szeretlek Daddy, "I am checking out" lots of love, vera leigh, your kiddo...

p.s. please give My-Girl some nose rubs for me and tell her that her Mommie misses her soooooo much...and that I Love her and never go a day without thinking of her...too...Love, Hugs, and Kisses, and wrapped arms the two of you...forever
October 12, 2011
Daddy,

I have been doing my vacuuming today (struggling for physical reasons but doing it regardless) and Snickers has been chasing the vacuum cleaner while I work. She is so funny, she thinks it is a toy...I wish you were here to see it...I could see and hear you laughing and getting such a kick out of it...

It brings me back to when we used to vacuum Flasher (both Flashers, I & II, actually) ... you always thought it was so neat that she (they) would let us vacuum her (them) ... she (they) loved it and so did you. We would both laugh so hard as she (they) would roll over and give us that look as if asking for us to give her (them) more. So many good times you and I had ... Even though they were the simplest of moments they are the moments that mattered the most. The tiny treasures of everyday life. The treasures that I keep close to my heart.

I miss making more of those treasures with you Daddy. Like today, if you were here, I would have forgot the vacuuming and we would have went for the Neighborhood News in Newburgh Hts., then for a ride through Buckeye, and then off to eat somewhere in one of those out of the way little places you always managed to know about. How do I do this all without you Daddy? I have been told that I am doing it ... I guess because I get out of bed and do things everday, even with a smile ... most days ... yet what I don't think anyone really realizes is that inside I am heartbroken. Heartbroken because I know we will have no more days like that together, heartbroken because I won't be hearing your voice today, hearing you say to me "What's up Doc!" or "kiddo" or seeing your face and kissing your cheek, or getting that special snuggle hug you always gave me. I miss it all Daddy, I miss you Daddy and the pain in my heart exceeds any emotion I could have ever thought possible. Please stay close as I continue to try to get through the days and nights... Szeretlek Daddy, Emukel. Lots of love, vera leigh, your kiddo forever.

p.s I did try and vacuum Snickers but she did not want to cooperate with me. I hope they have vacuum cleaners in Heaven so you can continue to vacuum both Flasher's. Also please give My-Girl a great big hug and kiss for me...tomorrow is 4 months she went to be with you...I miss her and mine snuggle hugs too...I Love You.
October 11, 2011
Daddy,

I received a beautiful card from Ursuline College, in regards to you. Your name has been inscribed permanently in the "Book of the Departed" which sits in the Ursuline College Chapel; you will be remembered daily in prayer. The card meant so much to me as the Director of Develpment, Patrick wrote me a very special note inside. As I read his kind words and thoughts I could not help but feel comfort from my alma mater, a community that I felt privileged to become a part of, something I have always treasured.

It also made me remember the countless times you came to Ursuline to have lunch with me, or to visit with me, or to even drive me to class when I was ill. I can still envision you sitting in the snack cafeteria overlooking the pool and watching the swimmers as well as talking with everyone and joking and laughing. So many of my friends and professors thought you were so sweet, kind, and humorous. I am so lucky to have shared such an incredible time of my life with you Daddy. Again, something I keep close to my heart and will forever treasure.

Although I do have these and many more memories my heart continues to ache. You are not here with me to make more memories together and I feel so empty and lost without you Daddy. When something happens I still run to the phone to call you and then I am brought to a standstill and I become overwhelmed in sadness and pain. I miss sharing everything with you...I miss telling you all that is going on in my life...I miss hearing you tell me everything. I miss your voice, I miss hearing you say my name...I miss you Daddy. My heart and soul continue to cry out for you. Szeretlek Daddy. your kiddo, vera leigh
October 10, 2011
Daddy,

Please send me Polka Dots...
I Love You...I Miss You...I will keep my eyes, my heart and my soul open for you...Szeretlek DADDY.

your little girl forever, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 10, 2011
Daddy,

Nothing more, nothing less, I just Miss You with every part of my being...Please stay close...I Love You Daddy...your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. I need your green thumb tohelp grow the grass that I planted this weekend at your resting place...
October 10, 2011
Daddy,

I missed you sooooo much today Daddy. It was a really nice day with Dianna yet I continued to feel the emptiness in my heart. Thank you for helping me feel many meaningful experiences today...the air filling and literally enveloping me with the scent of you, the visit from Renee (please tell her I said thank you and I miss her as well as our phone dates) and the special hugs and thoughts that were sent to me tonight. What treasures I will forever keep close to my aching heart. How lucky I am to have you for my Daddy. No girl could have ever asked for a better one. I Love You soooooo much Daddy. My heart and soul continue to ache and cry out for you. Missing you more and more...lots of love, your little girl forever, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. thanks for the lightbulbs too Daddy...I know that was you....
October 09, 2011
Daddy,

I miss you calling me and telling me you beat me to mass, you allready shaved, had your coffee and read the paper, and now you are watching "Meet the Press. I wish you could call me and tell me all the news in todays Paper and we could make our plans for what is a beautiful, sunny, not to hot, Sunday. You would come over here, we would eat sunday lunch/dinner then go for a ride down to the lake, and then maybe to the park. We would sit for hours and talk about everything but most importantly we would be together, enjoying each others company. I miss our times together sooooo much Daddy...my heart aches and my soul continues to cry out for you. Please come be with me as I go on a picnic in the metroparks with Dianna. Szeretlek Daddy...missing you more and more with every breath I take. Lots of Love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 07, 2011
Daddy,

The man was here tonight ... around 2 am ... walking the street ... he was watcdhing me . . . through the window . . . I called the police when I saw him ... they came and searched the street ... they found him and they spoke with him ... I am so shaken up Daddy . . . my heart is racing, it is pounding . . . I can't breathe . . . it all comes rushing back ... I wish you were here to hold me in your arms, I wish you could comfort me . . . so I would know I was safe. . . I am trying to do this for myself now but it is so hard to do this alone Daddy. I am scared and I feel so alone. Please come wrap your arms around me tonight Daddy. I Love You...I Miss You sooooo much Daddy. . . your kiddo, vera leigh
October 07, 2011
Daddy,

polka dots and palinka...hmm what a combination...I wish you were here to see this...I wish you were here to see it all...to be a pert of it all...I Love you Daddy, I Miss You Daddy...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh...
October 06, 2011
Daddy,

Please come be with me tonight....I am really sick tonight...lots of pain, etc...I need my Daddy...Please come hold my hand. I Love You, I Miss You...lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
October 05, 2011
Daddy,

Missing you more and more...with every breath I take...I LOVE YOU DADDY...lots of love, your little girl forever, vera leigh, your kiddo
October 04, 2011
Daddy,

Today has been such a difficult day for me...I try to keep busy but it does not help... I just miss you so much...you are always on my mind...in my heart...and a part of my soul...I just still cannot believe that you are not here and that I am not going to see you pull up in front of my house and walk up the steps...I long to hear you say "What's up Ver(l)a leigh?" I long for our talks, our lunches, our togetherness. This is so hard Daddy and it seems for me that it gets harder not easier...Most think that because I am doing things that I am doing so much better but the truth is inside I am crying and my heart is breaking. I Loved You so much Daddy and I still do. That does not stop because you've gone it is just that now you are not here for me to show you and to share my days with. My heart is breaking Daddy and I could really use a great big hug and kiss from you. Szeretlek Daddy, I Miss You, lots of love, vera leigh, your kiddo
October 03, 2011
Daddy,

It has been a very long, tiring, and an emotional day for me. I had to go to my Doctor at Hillcrest without you for my consult etc. about my scope, gallbladder and liver, etc. I missed you driving me and the sightseeing and stories we would have both seen and talked about on the way. When I was done with my Doctor he decided that I should make an appointment with Dr. Malgeria to discuss further possibilities regarding all my abdominal pain. Not thinking, I decided to stop in his office, since it was right next door, instead of calling to set up my appointment. I was in there no more than 15 seconds when it all came rushing back. The last time I was in his office was with you Daddy. I remembered sitting in the waiting room with you for about 45 minutes and talking about your gallbladder surgery and joking and laughing about your gypsy pain. Then once inside and as I stood at the counter to set up my appointment I remembered us standing there setting up the appointment for your surgery. Even the girls there remembered us. It was as if it all happened yesterday. I could see you, hear you, even feel you. It all caught me so off guard Daddy, and it hurt to think of where all this led us to only a short time ago. No matter where I go or what I do I am reminded of the times we had together because we did everything together. I just miss you soooo much Daddy and I am lonely for you.

Before I went to my appointments Rosie emailed me and I told her I was going to Hillcrest and she invited me over. So after my appointments I went to Rosie's and Tony's to visit which was very comforting. I think you somehow had a hand in those arrangements, as they were quite impromptu, because I think you knew that I would not be able to drive myself home right away. Thanks for looking out for me Daddy because even though you are not here I still need you Daddy. I still need your guidance, support, and your love. I Miss You Daddy. I Love You Daddy. Please come be with me and help guide me in the direction I should be going. Missing you more and more with every passing day, your little girl forever, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. thank you for always looking out for me Daddy.
October 03, 2011
Daddy,

I missed you sooooo much today . . . although being with Josi Basci, Kathy, and Keresztmama was wonderful, it was also heartbreaking because you were not there with us. There was an emptiness for me...an empty seat at the table, and empty in my heart. I am trying so hard Daddy to do things, yet no matter where I go or what I do I feel the emptiness inside me, the emptiness of you not being with me. Even when I do things like going to the grocery store, pump gas, banking, and other errands you have always been with me and now nothing seems right, everything feels lonely and sad for me.

Josi Basci loved the picture that I gave him of the three of you; the three Grassy's that arrived here in the United States in 1950, February 18, scared, alone, and at the same time hopeful for a new beginning. How all three of you as well as Nagymama and Nagypapa overcame the many trying obstacles and made it in a new country with pride and grace. The strength you all showed and how scarey it must have been for all of you. I am honored to call you my Daddy and I am nonored to be your daughter. Szeretlek Daddy, I Miss You more today than yesterday.
Love your little girl forever, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. Thankyou for looking out for me while on my way to Dianna's,from Kathy and Josi Basci's, I don't think I could have done it without your strength inside of me. Please hold my hand tonite as I am still quite shaken.
October 02, 2011
Today, I am going to Kathy and Jozi Basci's for his Birthday. How do I take part in this without you as we always went together. So much that I do now, I do alone, alone because you are not here. It is so hard Daddy, and it hurts so much, you not being here. Each day that passes is another painful day that I made it through, but it is so difficult and so sad for me. I just wish you were still here so we could go together and spend the afternoon with family. I am sure we will talk about you and Jozi Basci will tell me some stories, which I will treasure, about your childhood, but I will be missing you the entire time. I Love You Daddy, please keep me close to your heart today. Lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. after Jozi Basci's I am meeting Dianna for kave, catch me when I fall Daddy.
October 02, 2011
Daddy,

Five years ago today you and I spent the afternoon in my kitchen visiting with each other while I made "almas pita." We kept hearing the quiet sounds of meows and thought it was My-Girl as she was on the loveseat on the porch and I kept checking on her and saying it doesn't sound like her. Then she came inside, and we continued to hear the meows. You went outside and there she was, a tiny kitty. I can hear you now, "Vera leigh, there is a kis macska here." I came outside and there she sat, staring up at the two of us while she let out her cries for help. That kitty is Snickers, although I was not looking for another kitty, it became evident that I would be taking her in. You quickly fell in love with her, and the two of you became great friends. Snickers still looks for you Daddy, when I listen to your voice from the messages you left on my answering machine she comes running into the kitchen, sits by your chair, and begins to loudly meow. She, like me, misses you and all the attention you would give her whenever you came over. You always got such a kick out of her. Oh how we miss you Daddy. It is so hard to believe that we will not be making any memories like that together anymore. Memories and moments that I treasure in my heart and mind. Szeretlek Daddy, I Miss You. Lots of Love, your kiddo forever, vera leigh
October 01, 2011
Daddy,

It has been a really difficult day for me. Aside from being quite ill and in much physical pain today, when I woke up I turned the calendar page to the new month (October). My heart stopped a beat as the reality of you being gone surrounded me...I want time to go back, stop, and then stand still; to a time when you and I were together, a time of love, hope, and laughter, a time of sharing. I don't want the days to continue on without you here, I want the world to stop. My heart aches for you so bad Daddy. Everyday is a another day that I have to try and get through without you. Time is not making it easier, if anything the longer time we are apart the more my heart hurts and my soul cries, and the more and more I miss you Daddy. How do I do this without you Daddy? Even though I have a few people in my life trying to support me, which is wonderful, I am struggling. How lonely I am Daddy, how empty inside and sad. This feeling inside is like nothing or no pain I have ever felt before, it is powerful and it is about the separation of us, the separation of our love, the seperation of our togetherness. I feel like we are being kept apart, I don't like it Daddy. I want the days of us together, sharing moments, moments of love, laughter, and sharing. I miss you Daddy, the pain in my heart is unbearable. Please come be with me. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s. Please comfort me, as you have in the past Daddy, as I struggle with my illness today. köszönöm Daddy.
September 30, 2011
Daddy,

Your vel(r)a leigh looks a little like a striped zebra. If you were here you would probably laugh at the story. I went today to Sally's shop to have my hair "painted" and because my liver has been acting up so much this week my "paint colors" took differently. I told Sally that I was hot and she told me that she "could literally feel the heat radiating from my head as she was working on my hair." Because of that she only left the "painting" on for about 10 minutes and then she checked it and said "we need to wash this out of your hair now." So now I have some really blonde streaks in my hair ... Sally likes it, I think I look like a zebra, hopefully it will tone down after a few washings. I wish you were here so we could laugh together about this.

I could here you now saying "you should have let me paint it for you,come here kiddo, I'll fix it" and then you would have laughed. See Daddy that is what I miss so terribly, sharing moments like that with you . . . everyday occurences. The little things that happen day to day with me, with you, with us. It just is so hard not to have you here with me to share these things with you. I really miss you Daddy. Szeretlek, your kiddo, vera leigh
September 30, 2011
Daddy,

I miss you soooo much...no matter where I go or what I do...I am reminded of our times together...so lonely and sad without you Daddy...My heart physically hurts, and my soul is crying...please try and come be with me...I will be here and my spirit with you ... Szeretlek Daddy, your kiddo, vera leigh
September 29, 2011
Poilka Dots Daddy, just Polka Dots....

I Love You, love your kiddo vera leigh
September 28, 2011
Daddy,

Such a hard day for me . . . so very sad and painful . . . the sun was shining, the sky was blue, and the clouds were white and puffy . . . Aside from us going on one of our roadtrips to Buckeye and picking up the Neigborhood News in Newburgh Heights, my day was continually filled with visions of us relaxing on my back deck/porch with My-Girl. You sitting next to her on the wicker loveseat and feeding and playing with her, while you and I engaged in great conversation. (I can hear your voice now saying "look here" to My-Girl, how you loved all animals)

You and I could always talk for hours about silly stuff, serious stuff, daily events, good ole days, and just everything. How I miss our long talks and all we shared with each other. My world has become such a lonely place since you, as well as My-Girl, have gone. My heart aches for the yesterday's, for more time to be together, more shared moments in this "modern world". How lonely I am without you. How I would love to share another day like that with you and with My-Girl.

It still amazes me how you guided me to this headstone at the pet cemetery the day of her funeral. Somehow you wanted me to know that you are with her, taking care of her for me, as well as with me. I am still trying to understand your message Daddy, perhaps you can send me another clue. Even though I know that you sent that to me Daddy, written in stone, as I asked, I am still wishing for more days with you and her. I just can't help it, my heart and soul ache for you. I miss you so terribly and I miss cuddling and snuggling up with My-Girl. Please give each other a great big snuggle hug for me . . . your kiddo misses you Daddy. Mommie misses you too My-Girl, I hope you are playing lots with your sister and brother ... tell them mommie loves and misses them terribly too.

Daddy I miss you all. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
September 28, 2011
Daddy,

Just really, really, really, missing you...hard to believe that what would be the final journey we would share began one year ago today. I still cannot believe it. I Love You Daddy, I miss you Daddy, my heart and soul cry out for you. Szeretlek Daddy, lots of love, your kiddo vera leigh
September 26, 2011
Daddy,

I went to the Szureti Mulatsag at St. Elizabeth's Church yesterday. Again what a bittersweet day ... I missed being there with you. It just does not seem real to me that you are not here. As I watched many of the older men dancing I was envisioning you on the dance floor . . . you were such a wonderful dancer and with so much charisma. I miss seeing you so much. I miss hearing your voice both in English and Hungarian dialect. I miss hearing you say my name with that wonderful accent of yours.

While there, I finally bought the Cleveland's Buckeye Neighborhood Book, I wish you were here for us to go through it together, so I could hear you tell me even more stories about the neighborhood you and I loved so much. As I thumbed through the many pages, and viewed the beautiful pictures, some from before you arrived in the U.S. and some from after you arrived on Buckeye, I discovered a picture with you in the background. Yet another picture of you . . . another picture of my handsome daddy, another treasure ... I just wish you were here to tell me the story behind it.

After the festival, I drove through Buckeye to show Dianna, as she came with me to the festival, where we lived, all yours, mine, and our, favorite spots. I drove by your house, our home, and remembered, remembered the day you bought that house on 115th street, the day we moved in, the many days we shared there. It may not have been an extravagant house but instead its riches came from the love and the laughter that filled the space inside its walls.

Oh the times we had there Daddy, from simple carefree days to Sunday Dinners after mass with friends and family. The treasures of family life. I could hear and feel the love and laughter in my heart. And even though the house has since been remodeled (something you and I could not believe) and the front porch removed, the character of its wall is forever etched in both my mind and heart. I could see Flasher, Snow-White, and Tigger in the front yard, while we sat on the front porch/steps. How we spent many afternoons and evenings on those steps, sometimes just you and me and other times with friends and family. Simple days but treasured ones, ones that mattered, days and moments forever engrained in our hearts.

I saw your magnolia trees in the back yard ... oh how you loved your trees, especially when they were in full spring bloom. You loved to sit on the marble bench underneath your trees, amongst all the flowers and relish in the beauty of the backyard. Again a treasure.

Daddy it is these things, these treasures, that I am trying to hold onto to help me through the many lonely days I face now that you have gone. Yet, inside my heart the pain and sadness overwhelm me as I know there are no more memories to make together. No more carefree days spent together, days of sharing even the simplest of moments. I just cannot believe those days, days to share with you, are now gone for the remainder of my life. It is so difficult and painful for me Daddy, you not being here, my heart,my head, and my soul misses you Daddy. Szeretlek Daddy, love your little girl forever, the luckiest Daddy's Little Girl in the World, your kiddo, vera leigh
September 24, 2011
Daddy,

No fancy words just "Szeretlek" from your kiddo, vera leigh . . . who misses you more today than yesterday...
September 24, 2011
12:58 am September 24, 2011

Daddy,

I just still cannot believe it...you are not here...the pain in me is just unimaginable...Life without you is just unbearable. My life will just never be filled with the joy I had when you were here with me. Szeretlek Daddy, Love your kiddo, vera leigh
September 24, 2011
Friday, sept 23, 2011

Daddy,

I miss you soooooo much my heart is totally aching...and my soul is crying...I wish you could call me and tell me "I'm checking out" "jó éjszakát" and szeretlek. Please come be with me tonight . . . I Love You and I Miss you more than words could ever describe. Lots of Love, your kiddo forever...vera leigh
September 14, 2011
Daddy,

Today is Wednesday and it was a beautiful weather day. The sun was shining and the temperature was just perfect for you and me. If you were here we would of had such a wonderful day together. We would have started out picking up the neigborhood news then we would have traveled to Buckeye Road via your route, no highways or freeways for us Daddy. We would have spent hours on our "field trip". Once on Buckeye, we would have drove around the neighborhood to many many of your old time favorite hang outs ...I would have listened with such interest and fascination as you would share with me the many stories of your life on Buckeye Road once you arrived here from Hungary. You always amazed me, just when I thought I had heard all your stories you would tell me a new one. Oh how I loved to hear you tell me about your life and all the fun and mischief you would get into as well as the serious stories too. After our trip to Buckeye we would have gone out to eat at some small out of the way diner, you always knew how to find the neatest and most interesting places. I miss those days Daddy, those were the special days, special because we were together just because we loved being together. I miss those days as well as the days we could have still had if you were still here. I just miss you so much Daddy that my heart aches and my soul cries out for you. Words cannot describe how special a Daddy you are to me. I Love You more today than yesterday.
Lots of Love, your kiddo, vera leigh

P.S. Your palm has a new leaf. I hope you are watching as I care for it as meticously as taught me. Also, isn't your car nice and shiny, I washed it just for you Daddy, I know how much you liked it when it shined. Szeretlek Daddy.
September 12, 2011
Daddy,

Twenty-five years ago today, you walked me down the aisle, I don't know who held on tighter, you or me. How handsome you look in your tuxedo... a "born gentleman." I Love You Daddy, I Miss You. Lots of Love, your little girl forever, kiddo, vera leigh
September 12, 2011
Sept 11, 2011

Oh Daddy,

What a bittersweet day for me... I went to the Szureti Mulatsag out in Hiram today. Going, took every bit of strength and courage I had, as I went by myself. I knew though that once I got there I would be amongst friends, friends from the neighborhood that you and I loved so much. Friends that I knew, friends that you knew, friends that knew us, friends that knew the bond that you and I shared, and friends that cared. I knew once I got there I would not be alone nor would I have to explain my sadness and pain, so I went by myself; I went for me, I went for you, I went for us. This was so difficult for me because more than anything I wanted you in the car with me by my side, like it always was, sharing with me your stories about the good ole days. (I miss hearing your stories, although they are something I carry with me always, I would give anything to hear you tell me one more story).
I arrived just as they were raising both the American and the Hungarian Flags. It brought tears to my eyes, especially when they raised the Hungarian Flag and played the anthem. I could hear you proudly singing it along side me. I miss you so much Daddy. Once the opening ceremony was over I immediately saw friends, talked with friends, and then Rosie, a true and trusted friend for many years, came up to me. She told me she has been so worried about me but she did not know how to get in touch with me. I told her I came by myself and was hoping she would be there so I could sit with her. When I got to her table and began saying hello to everyone, the first words I heard were that is "Bela's lányak", that was music to my ears, sweet music because they knew me as your daughter. No explaining, just being. They all told me how they had known you for years and I knew I was in a place where I did not have to pretend that you did not exist. A place where my heart and soul needed to be, a place I believe you guided me to. I was allowed to talk about you, and to listen to others talk about you as well as talk about the relationship and bond that they knew we shared. Thank you Daddy, for giving me the strength and the courage I needed to go there today, thank you for bringing Rosie and me back together.
Later they played Edelweiss and when I heard it my heart skipped a thousand beats. I told Rosie that that was yours and mine favorite song and that I had arranged for that to be played by the violinist at your funeral. She told me "and your dad is playing it for you now." How beautiful a thought that was. Her and I later danced a csardas together and while we were dancing I told her that I always danced the last one with you and she out loud said "for you Bela." Oh how wonderful for her to say that for me. I did not have to pretend, I did not have to pretend that you were non existent, instead I was allowed the opportunity to relish in my love for and my memories of "you" and to share that with another. Thank you Daddy, and Thank you Rosie for turning what was a truly challenging day into a day where I was enveloped in kindness and love. Although it was a bittersweet day for me it was also a day that I will never forget and will treasure always.
Szeretlek Daddy, I Miss You more than words could ever describe. Lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh

P.S. Thank you for the csardas.
September 11, 2011
Daddy,

I wish you were here...I am off to the Szureti Mulatsag in Hiram...wish we could go together... I will miss dancing the csardas with you and I will just miss you. Please be with me in spirit... Szeretlek, your kiddo, vera leigh
p.s please watch over me...as you always have.
September 10, 2011
Daddy,

It has been a rough couple of days daddy. I have been told it is okay to cry, then I was later told not to cry. I could really use much support right now, please send me an angel. I know if you can you will. I was told to reach out but that did not work...so instead I am reaching out to the one person in my life that I knew no matter what was there for me, come hell or high water. That person was you Daddy. I Love You Daddy, and I Miss You more than anyone will ever know. Lots of Love, your kiddo, vera leigh
September 09, 2011
Sept 8, 2011

Daddy,

Please come be with me tonite as I try and lay me head down and sleep. I Love You Daddy, Missing you more than words could ever describe. Lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
September 07, 2011
Daddy,

Thank you for sending me the deer throughout the night, his watchful eye comforted me in what turned out to be a very difficult night. Thanks Daddy, I Love You Lots...your kiddo
September 06, 2011
Daddy,

Please give Dora a gentle hug for me as she, like you, is now with the angels. I will always remember the times her and I shared together over the years since childhood. I will truly miss her. I Love You Daddy. I Love You too Dora. More people to add to the Heavenly Buckeye Road Reunion.
September 06, 2011
Daddy,

It has been a long day ... I had to go to the doctors, again... more & more blood tests... it is so hard for me whenever I go as you were always the person to take me ... now I take myself. We always made such a day of it... you and I. If I felt able after that is.
We would go visit Kathy and Josi Basci, sometimes have lunch with them, then we would go on one of our road trips. We would drive all over Buckeye Road and the surrounding area, and you would tell me all the wonderful stories of your life on Buckeye Road. Sometimes we would go get a bite to eat and/or just get sandwiches and go down to the lake. It really did not matter what we did, it was more about spending the time together and talking with each other. We just enjoyed each others company. I really miss those times Daddy, more than anyone can possibly imagine.
How time can change everything though. When one thing occurs so many other changes follow. That it how it is for me now Daddy, since you've gone. Everything has changed in my life, everything from the time I wake up in the morning till I lay my head down at night is so different.
So instead today, I went by myself. Had my workup, stopped by to say hello to Kathy and Josi Basci, and then I went to the cemetery to visit with you. When I arrived at your grave there sat not one but two mókus sitting atop your grave. They did not run away when I walked up to your grave, instead, they just sat and looked at me, such a moment for me (next time I will have to bring some peanuts). It made me stop and wonder. There were also many geese walking around as well as countless birds flying above. It was actually such a beautiful sight that it brought tears to my eyes. For me it was as if you sent all those beautiful creatures of God to comfort me in my time of sadness. Thank you Daddy, Szeretlek Daddy, I Miss You. Lots of Love, vera leigh
September 05, 2011
Daddy,

Thirty-three weeks ago I held you in my arms and watched as you slowly took your last breath, yet for my heart it seems like yesterday. Even though I know Nagymama was there waiting for you, I wanted to hold onto you tightly and keep you here with me forever. From the moment you took your last breath my heart began to ache and my soul began to cry. I wanted time to stand still. I have never had to live without you Daddy and I still don't know how. I try to keep myself busy but that does not make the heaviness in my heart disappear. It is such a lonely world for me now. I miss everything about you, I miss you with me and me with you, I miss us. The laughter, the sorrows, the comfort of knowing you were here. Many people have told me that time will heal my breaking heart, yet for me the longer we are apart the stronger the heaviness and pain in my heart becomes. I remember everything about you and I will never forget all that you have taught me but I want more. My faith tells me that we will be together again I just don't know what to do until the day arrives when you come for me like Nagymama came for you. I keep busy but everything I do always involved you in some way. Even here at home, as I do things, like clean, cook, pay bills or work on the many projects I do you were usually right there at my side talking with me as I did those things. So how do I do this now? I read something a short time ago regarding the process of grieving. It stated, "The heart of grief's most difficult challenge is not 'Letting Go' of those who have died, but instead making the transition from loving in presence to loving in separation ..." I am not sure if I will ever learn how to do that Daddy. I can hear you telling me, " Vera leigh you are a tough cookie, you can handle this challenge." I think this is one challenge I never wanted to have to be faced with. I know I will never be able to let you go, and you will always be a part of me but when you left a huge part of me left with you. Not just the part of me that only belonged to you, but many other parts of me too Daddy. I am not sure how to put the pieces of me back together or if that is even possible. There are so many feelings that I am experiencing, feelings that I never knew were in me. Feelings that are surely surprising me too. I am not sure what to do with these feelings but I do believe I am experiencing them for reasons unknown to me. Perhaps you know the reason for these changes happening within me, and perhaps you will somehow let me know them. I hope you will Daddy because I know if you were here you would talk with me about this and help me figure things out. Daddy, I Love You and I always will. I will always miss you Daddy. I will always miss our times together. Lots of Love, vera leigh, your kiddo.
As this candle will remain lit for eternity so will my love for you Daddy
September 04, 2011
Hi Daddy,

Being here without you is the hardest thing I have ever had to live through. My heart aches for you...and it feels so heavy...never knew I could hurt this bad...trying to get through...I Love You Daddy and I will ALWAYs Miss You ... How do you go from sharing daily life with someone to nothing...just don't know how to do this....Please come and be with me...somehow...Love your kiddo, vera leigh
September 01, 2011
Szia Daddy,

I just had to write and tell you this ... I was sitting in my kitchen, at the counter, (in the spot you have sat so many times before) writing a letter and drinking coffee; as usual I had the screen door open because I was smoking, when I turned my head to look outside and there sat on the rug inside my kitchen door, a észak-amerikai mókus. The mókus sat there for a moment, stared into my eyes, then turned around and ran the other way. I so wish you were here to have seen the mókus, as I know you would have gotten such a kick out of it and together we would have laughed and talked about it for many days to come. It is those little things that I miss most Daddy, those little things that you and I shared so many times, those special moments that I will forever treasure. Szeretlek Daddy, Hiányzol. Sok szeretettel, your kiddo, vera leigh

p.s maybe you sent the mókus, if so, köszönöm, hugs és megcsókolja.
September 01, 2011
Hi Daddy,

I LOVE YOU...I MISS YOU..

love your kiddo, vera leigh
August 30, 2011
Hi Daddy,

Been cleaning today with your favorite, Murphys Oil Soap...I know if you were here you would tell me "Vera, you just cleaned, you are going to wear the shine off, just hose it down." (with pista away (week and half so far and probably a few more weeks) I figured I might as well get the cleaning done I am not able to do when he is here)
I wish they had telephones in Heaven ... so you could call me and tell me these things ... I miss our phone calls... then we could still talk to each other...it would be so wonderful to get a phone call where noone wants something from me other than to just say Hi, how are you...I really miss that...I am so grateful for the way you loved me Daddy...I Really Miss You LOTS... Szeretlek, vera leigh, your kiddo
August 30, 2011
Hi Daddy,

I missed you at dinner tonight, I made one of your favorites, disznóhús megsüt and rizs. I miss having dinner with you, we always had such good conversations, and you would always tell me about how Nagymama would cook this or that in Hungary when you were growing up. I miss all your stories and even though I may have heard some of them many times I would give anything to hear you tell me them again. I am lonely for you Daddy, lonely for our times together. I just really miss you lots. I never knew I could miss someone soooo much. Please stay close...I Love You...Lots of love, vera leigh, your kiddo
August 28, 2011
Daddy,

I Miss You and I Love You. Please give Jennifer and Kristina a hug and kiss for me. It is hard to believe that it has been 30 years tonight (aug 29 am)that God asked for two special angels. Lots of love, vera leigh your kiddo
August 26, 2011
Hi Daddy,

I wanted to share with you what is going on with some of your grandchildren ... as you would always ask me what they are up to. For starters the princess (Melissa) starts her first official job as a Physicians Assistant on Monday, at the Cleveland Clinic Emegency Department...I can envision you taking your pocket knife out of your pocket and telling her to do surgery on someone...
Second - Matthew graduated from his special training in the military today...he graduated second in his class. He loves military life as you did...he is coming home for a time but please keep him safe as his unit has been called up...
Third - Krystin has began her first year of college at Arizona University...she is having some struggles with being away from home but overall is doing okay... again please watch over her too as she embarks on this next journey in her life.
Fourth - Kimmie is heading back to Walsh University for her 3rd year in college...still going into psychology as far as I know...
Fifth - Joey - can you believe is beginning his senior year in high school...
Sixth & Seventh - Michael and Anthony are both here at home, Mike living at home, and Anthony in his apartment working and enjoying life.
Where has the time gone...seems like just yesterday they were all here swimming, laughing, and being silly in my pool.
As for your other two grandchildren - Jennifer and Kristina...I guess you would know more than me as you are now with them in heaven...It is hard to believe that we are coming up on the thirty year anniversary of their death this Monday...So sad...Please keep Loretta and all of us close this weekend as we remember that fateful day. Give them both hugs for me and tell them "Auntie 'Bera' says hi, I love you and I 'missded' you."
Well that is it for the news of your grandchildren...as for me well I guess you know how I am doing...trying and struggling, but climbing the mountain one tiny rock at a time.
I Love You Daddy and I Miss You more and more everyday...everyone has told me that time will help heal but for me it seems the longer we are apart the worse it is becoming for me...Please keep me close.
Szeretlek, vera leigh, your kiddo
August 26, 2011
Daddy,

There are so many things that you and I always did together...it is hard not to miss them all ... for this moment though, I am missing our trips to go get icecream together. It is such a perfect day ... the sun is shining but its not to hot ... and even though I am not feeling well today, if you were here, you would tell me "i'll be your chauffer, lets go have an icecream cone, it will do you good to get out of the house" and off we would go. I have not had an icecream cone yet this summer. I loved those times...we would finish our icecream but end up sitting and talking about so many things... you would tell me some of the many stories of your life growing up in Hungary and coming to the United States and just all the interesting things you did. When you would tell me those stories I was always so fascinated by the things you did as well as the things you went through. I miss those times those times we shared together. I miss you Daddy.
Lots of Love, vera leigh, your kiddo

p.s. szeretlek daddy, would you bring me and icecream cone...no sprinkles...
August 23, 2011
Hi Daddy,
It is 5am Tuesday morning... I have been up all night ill - again. I wish you were here to hold my hand like you had so many times when I would be sick like this... It's amazing even as a grown woman... you would still try and comfort me when I was sick...always trying to make it better. What you did not know was you just being with me made it better ... it did not make my sickness go away...only time would do that...but it eased it...knowing I wasn't alone... it helped me so much. Thank you for that Daddy...now I have to try and do this on my own...and I have to be honest it is just really really hard... Maybe you could come sit on the edge of my bed (like you have so many times) and watch over me while I try and see if I can rid myself of this pain and close my eyes and sleep. I Love You Daddy, I Miss You Daddy... your kiddo, vera leigh
August 23, 2011
August 23, 2011

Hi Daddy,

I never knew that my heart could feel so heavy. Another day to try and get through.

I know you know that today is G day. You are the only person in my life that ever acknowledged what today means. I am so grateful that you never let it go unnoticed and offered a comforting shoulder, kind word, and your gentle love to help me with this day. I guess now you are looking out for G for me...cause you told me before you died that you would tell them all about me. Tell G I remember and will never forget. Please give each other a hug for me.

I Love You Daddy, I Miss You. Wish you were here.

Lots of Love, your kiddo, vera leigh
August 21, 2011
Hi Daddy,

It's me vera leigh...Just wanted to say "I Love You and I Miss You" My life will never feel the same without you in it. Don't know if you can see me or hear me but I hope you can...(if so I know you are trying to help me with what is going on because you always took care of this situation for me) it is my hope that even from heaven you can help keep me safe, it is getting really hard to deal with this alone and I have tried everything I can think of to remedy it. I wish we could sit together like we used to and have one of our conversations. I am lonely and homesick for you. Lots of Love, your kiddo, vera leigh
August 19, 2011
Hi Daddy,

It's Vera leigh. Please help me Daddy. It is about 12am Friday, 18th of August, and I am not feeling well at all. My physical pain is becoming unbearable tonite and I am having a very difficult time with my mind, getting really foggy. Today the Princess drove me to the dentist (something you always did for me) and I became so mixed up I could not even tell her where exactly the office was only the general area. I don't know why this happens with my illness I just know that I have been struggling with it alot lately and in the past week or so I have noticed it becoming progressively worse. I know how much me being sick bothered you. You would always tell me "that is a terrible way to live" and you would say "if they can send a man to the moon why can't they figure out how to help me". Unfortunately they still have not figured out how to...I was thinking since you are in heaven now...maybe you have more pull with God and you could ask Him to guide my doctors in the right direction so they can better help me. I am just so tired and I pray they can find something to help me. Anyway Daddy I just wanted to ask you if you could try and do that for me. I know that if you can you will. You have always been there for me so I imagaine if you are still able to be there for me you will do all you can. I Love You Daddy, and thank you for always loving me no matter what, on the good days as well as the rough ones. Lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
P.S. I miss you more than words could ever express
August 17, 2011
Hi Daddy,

Well first I meant to say I Love You not me in my last post. ( a little too much palinka) You know I don't even know why I write here. It is not like you come down from heaven and read it. I guess I just hope in some way you know that I am thinking of you and you can hear me.
Today was a pretty rough day...I did everything I possibly could to make it through my birthday without you. I am still here so I guess I survived. I made myself a Kave Torte, was not my best one but I think that was because I teared alot when I was baking it. I visited with you for quite a long time this afternoon and placed flowers and your Magyar Hatarokon where you lie. I hope you enjoyed your palinka, I know I enjoyed mine...maybe a little too much. Once I drank some I felt calmer, not necessarily better but survivable. I smiled as much as I could, but inside I felt like I was suffocating. I tried real hard not to let anyone know how much pain I am in...(they don't understand) well except maybe for one person. Kathy, Keresztmama, and Mom came over for dinner and desert and of course I had some more Palinka and some more...I am having some now too. Some may say that maybe it is not a good idea but you know what just for tonite I just need to forget and not feel anything...and I think that is okay...I know you would understand. Everything has been hurting soooooo much, not to mention the incredible loneliness I feel since you have been gone. I wish you were here to give me one of your hugs...that is what I need most right now is a real hug...not a phony one...(well maybe I would even settle for a phony one at this point)yours were always real...I miss the love that you showed me and I miss being able to show you my love for you and I miss hearing you call me kiddo and I miss saying Daddy. Living without you is just really really really hard. I love you Daddy, and I always will that will never change. Thanks for being my Daddy and for all you have done for me. Lots of Love, your kiddo , vera leigh
August 16, 2011
Daddy,
Palinka, Palinka, Palinka. Yum...
I Love You, I Miss You. Thank you for the roses...I know you had other people do that for you...I Love me, your kiddo...vera leigh
August 16, 2011
Daddy,

The house is quiet and at 5:20 am Tuesday, August 16th, (which I know you know what that means) your ghost began to sing. Don't know if it was you but I sure would like to think that it was since you could not give me my 5:00 am phone call. Thankyou Daddy I really needed that. Szeretlek, your kiddo, vera leigh
August 16, 2011
Daddy,
I am so tired. I wish you could tuck me in like you used to when I was a little girl. Maybe then I could sleep. This is all so hard. I have done busy, I have done quiet, I have done noisy...nothing seems to break this unearthed pain. I am afraid that nothing will. Perhaps it is not supposed to. I have been told that I am going to have a new normal someday. What is that all about? Don't they know that without you my life will never be normal again? Nothing looks the same, nothing feels the same, nothing is the same. The birds songs don't seem cheerful, the sun isn't as bright and warm, the colors in the world aren't so colorful anymore. I try to be grateful because I know that it is because the relationship we had is what makes this seperation hurt so much but that is hard. I guess I want more, more time with you. No time would have been a good time Daddy. I look forward to the day when we will be reunited. Thank you for loving me so much and allowing me to love you back. I Love You Daddy, I Miss You Daddy, I Wish You were here Daddy. Love your kiddo, vera leigh
August 15, 2011
Daddy,
Having a really rough evening...no smiles on this face, no tears either, just pure frustration...I wish you were here so we could talk about what is going on...Out of everything I miss since you have been gone I would have to say that is what I truly miss the most, our long talks...you always had a way about you that just would make me feel better. I would give anything to sit down and share a conversation. I Love You Daddy...your kiddo forever, vera leigh (szeretlek)

p.s I will see you tomorrow afternoon around 1:00 or so...please daddy be there
August 15, 2011
Daddy,
I miss you more today than yesterday and love you more than ever. I hope you like your Magyar Hatarokon. Please come visit me soon. I could really use a hug right now. Szeretlek Daddy, Lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh
August 12, 2011
Daddy,

Please don't forget me...I am here...Lots of Love, your kiddo, vera leigh
August 06, 2011
Polka Dots Daddy, Polka Dots.
Szeretlek, love your kiddo, vera leigh
August 04, 2011
Daddy,

I could really use a hug tonite. If God will let you will you come and be with me. So alone, and misunderstood without you here. No one knows me like you did and do. Soon I hope...szeretlek Daddy...miss you...love your kiddo, vera leigh
August 01, 2011
Hi Daddy,
Nothing more, nothing less...I Love You, and I Miss You...
love kiddo (vera leigh)
July 29, 2011
Hi Daddy,
I imagine you are preparing to celebrate Nagypapa's Birthday. It is hard to believe that he has been gone now for 32 years. I bet Nagymama is making him a Kave Torte with the M&M's on top. I remember he and I used to share it because our birthdays were so close. Tell Nagypapa I said Boldog születésnap and that I Love him and Nagymama and think about them many many times. I miss them. The only thing that gives me some solace is knowing that you are with them and they with you. I Love You Daddy, Miss you... Love your kiddo, vera leigh
July 28, 2011
Daddy,
If I ever needed you in my life the time is now. You have always been the one person in my life who has lifted me up when I was down, sheltered me from this place of torment, wiped my tears and brought back a smile, wrapped your arms around me so I felt safe, protected me against all odds, mended my heart when it was broken, believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself and simply loved me just because I am me. You have always been my rock. Now I am on my own and alone. My heart broke into the million little pieces that you always managed to put back together the last time I kissed your cheek and whispered "szerelek, Édes álmok" and I fear it will not mend until the day God calls me and we are once again reunited. Until then Daddy I will continue to make it through the long dark days so I can be with you. I Love You and I Miss you. Love your kiddo, vera leigh
July 24, 2011
Daddy,I Love You and I Miss You it is just that simple. My life is forever changed and my heart aches as much today if not more than the day God called you. Love your little girl forever, vera leigh aka kiddo
July 19, 2011
Daddy, I just don't know how to do this anymore. I miss you so much, that my heart is broken, everyone says time will heal it, my heart will always be broken until we are once together again. Your little girl just does not know how to live without you. My days are long & lonely without you. I try to keep busy but all the busy in the world does not take away the empty inside my heart. I miss all the little things in between, all the things that mattered. Szeretlek. A kicsi lányod, a kölyköd, Vera Leigh
July 14, 2011
Daddy,
I wish you could come back.
I Love You, Miss You, and Need You.
Love your kiddo, vera leigh
July 12, 2011
Daddy, Thank you for being my angel. always...could not do this with out you. I love you as much today and always. I miss you, love your kiddo, vera leigh
July 06, 2011
Just missing you Daddy
July 04, 2011
Hi Daddy,

Just remembering last year on the fourth. We made szalonna kenyér and then you and I went to the Hillbilly bar while mom and Pista stayed at home in the pool. We had so much fun together bowling on the machine...you drinking your Pabst Blue Ribbon and me my gingerale. I will always miss our times together, and I will always thank God and You that I have so many special memories of us together. I Love You and I Miss You...thank you for serving our country. love your kiddo vera leigh
July 03, 2011
Hi Daddy,
A candle for you today for the fourth of July. I was sitting here remembering how you and mom always took us to the fireworks when we were little and then after divorcing how you always took me and my friends to either Oceana Park or Lake Plata and then to fireworks later. That is the kind of daddy you always were for me. You always took an interest in what I was doing and you always made sure that I had things to do. I have never spent a fourth of July without you. Another day without you ... so hard, so lonely, so very sad is how I am. I just miss you so much the words don't even begin to describe the emptiness I feel since you have been gone. I Love You Daddy and I really really miss you. Love your kiddo, vera leigh
June 26, 2011
Hi Daddy,

Missed you sooo much today...I went to the Buckeye Road Reunion at the Hungarian Cultural Center in Hiram. It was a bittersweet day... many old true and trusted friends there from the neighborhood you loved so much "Good Ole Buckeye Road." Many talked about you and what a wonderful man you were, there were some who asked where you were, and I had to tell them that you had died. Although I enjoyed myself it was so hard not to be there with you ... with the man who gave me this wonderful heritage and who loved such events especially when we went together as we had so many times. I think you were looking down watching me and smiling at me and giving me the strength I needed to be there ... then you were probably laughing when Janie and me were dancing...you were probably saying "come on you two "my Hungarian Gypsy Girls, show them how its done. I Love You Daddy...and thanks for being the best Daddy any girl could ever ask for. Love your kiddo forever, Vera Leigh

P.S. I saved the last dance for you as I always have ... tonite we will dance the Csardas ... see you in my dreams.
June 23, 2011
Hi Daddy,

Just really really really missing you...always do...but tonight is just really hitting me hard that you are not coming back...I Love You...I Miss You...love your kiddo vera leigh
June 19, 2011
Daddy, Our first Father's Day apart...I cannot believe you are not here...it all seems so unreal to me...Thanks for being the best Daddy ever...I am so lucky that you are my Daddy and for the relationship you and I shared. You will forever be in my heart and my mind...and my love for you will never change...Happy Father's Day Daddy... Boldog apja nap Apókám! "Szeretlek" Daddy, your kiddo forever...vera leigh
June 16, 2011
Hi Daddy,

As you know it has been a very painful week for me...and Pista...Please take good care of MyGirl for me...as she is now in heaven with you and Insti and Goldie...I could really use some hugs from you Daddy...I Love You and I Miss You...love your kiddo
June 12, 2011
Hi Daddy,

just felt like saying I Love You and I Miss You...wishing you were still here...
love your kiddo forever
June 08, 2011
Hi daddy,

I am lighting this candle as a symbol of the love I have for you, just like the candle will never burn out, my love for you never will either...nor will I ever forget you, how could I, you were and always will be such a huge part of my life, my everyday life, and of me and who I am, I just wanted to let you how much I Love You and Miss You..
Love your Kiddo, vera leigh
p.s. I hope you like your flowers
May 31, 2011
Hi Daddy,
So much to say...so many memories...I am so lucky to have all the moments that we shared and spent together ... from the many holidays throughout the year, christmas, thanksgiving, easter, new years, memorial day, veterans day, july 4, labor day, Fathers Day especially, etc. but more so from from all the other days, the everyday days that you and I always shared, those are the days that I treasure most...no reason to be together, just being together because we wanted to be together ... I with you and you with me ... that is what I miss the most... us ... me with you and you with me...together, our long lazy days of talking together and hanging out together ... those are the days that mattered most... I could never has asked for a better daddy... as we used to say, "Szeretlek" Daddy, and amíg mi találkozik újra. Átkarolások és Csókolt -a kicsi lány.
Vera leigh
May 26, 2011
Hi Dad!
I guess my message got erased...I woke up yesterday morning and when brushing my teeth...I suddenly hear Happy Birthday Louise!....I knew it was you tellig me Happy Birthday because you always called me on my birthday and you are the only one who called me Louise!...Love and miss you Dad!
Loretta Louise
May 25, 2011
Szeretlek apuka, and amíg mi találkozik újra. Átkarolások és Csókolt -a kicsi lány.
Vera leigh
May 24, 2011
Szia Apuka , Most volt 4 hónapok óta ön ment el. ÉN nem tud hisz ön nem itt. Hiányzol sooooooooo sok , szívem csendes megsért. ÉN néz a világ és hogyan minden és mindenki van elfoglalt -val életüket. ÉN csoda ha ok egyenletes tud milyen szomorú Én. Nem emlékszem egy ido életemben mikor Nekem van valaha nemez ez sok szomorúság és fájdalom. ÉN mindig ismert amit ön akar megy elott én. mint ez minden a természetes fogás -ból dolog. de az én -m teljes élet van különbözo most amit ön nem itt. van egy üresség , egy lyuk szívemben amit akarat egyetlen lenni töltött mikor mi találkozik újra abban gyönyöru mennyország bárhol amit május lenni. ÉN elore örül -hoz nap mikor mi eljut lenni együtt újra. ÉN megnéz mozi -ból ön és én -ból ön és én. és ÉN megvalósít hogyan szerencsés Én -hoz volna ön mint az én -m apuka, érted adott én tehát sok öröm életemben. Bár Én kipróbálás -hoz volna öröm most Tudom amit ÉN akarat soha megtapint a öröm ÉN mikor Voltam veled. Ez kép birtokol mindig egy -ból az én -m kedvencek. -ból MHBK Labda -ban 1981 mikor ÉN táncolt a Palotas , nekünk volt tehát sok móka együtt azon az éjjelen. ÉN kincs minden a emlékmu Nekem van -ból minden a ido nekünk volt együtt. de ez ideiglenes tákolmány én szomorú mert Tudom most minden Nekem van van emlékmu és hogy tudunk akarat nem lenni gyártás többé együtt. Szeretlek Papa , Hiányzol egy egész csomó.Részére most ÉN akarat mond
Jó éjszakát, Szeretlek apuka, and amíg mi találkozik újra. Átkarolások és Csókolt -a kicsi lány.
Vera leigh
May 17, 2011
I Miss You Daddy...I Love You...love your kiddo, Vera leigh
May 04, 2011
Hi Daddy, It is hard to believe that it has been 100 days now since you have been gone...I would give anything to sit and talk with you...and be with you...I miss you so much...I Love You...love your kiddo, vera leigh
May 04, 2011
Hi Daddy, It is the month of May...and it brings me back to May Crowning in grade school at St. Margaret of Hungary...which brings me back to the many memories of class field trips. I remember how excited I always was because you would be one of the parents driving, in fact you were the only father amongst all the mothers that drove...Everyone wanted to ride in my daddy's car...all my friends would get so excited cause you were driving...you were such a fun daddy...all I know is that it meant so much to me and I was always so proud that my daddy wanted to share that time with me ... and drive...I was always so lucky that you took such an active part in my life...as a child as well as an adult...but that is the kind of daddy you have always been to me...always looking out for me and making sure I was okay...now you are gone...and I feel such a tremendous emptiness and sadness. My heart physically hurts...I love you Daddy and I Miss You more than words could ever express...Please know that I am always thinking about you and that I wish you were here...Lots of love, kiddo, vera leigh
April 24, 2011
I Love You Daddy, 3 months is a long time to live without you ... I am just so sad...I miss you...Happy Easter Daddy...save a seat for me...lots of love your kiddo...vera leigh
April 23, 2011
Daddy, Today is your names day...Happy Names Day...You and me should have been going to get lunch, and spending the entire day together....so lonely and sad without you...
Not only is it your names day ... but it is Easter weekend....Our special Holiday...I wish I could go back in time...then you and me would be in Niagra Falls together for Easter... We started this tradition when I was 10, after the divorce, and continued all the way till I graduated from high school...after that we went a few more times but not every year. I still have my bugs bunny from the first time we went...such a fun time we had...You hid easter eggs in our hotel room and Easter morning I looked for them...and there was the bunny that I saw in the window the day before....somehow you knew I was looking at it...but then again you always knew...that is the kind of Daddy you were and will always be to me ...always taking care of me and doing things to make me smile...always knowing what I needed or how I was feeling.
I remember the one year when I was a sophmore, we went the day after Easter...that was the year Janie, Marlyn, Kathleen, & Dianna came with us... we had alot of fun then too... especially with the soap bubbles...
I would give anything to have you here now...to have those times back. I Love You Daddy...lots of love, vera leigh your kiddo
April 21, 2011
Well Daddy, I just don't know how to do this....I miss you so much...I miss everything about you....I miss the me I am with you...I miss us....I miss you....I am so lucky that you are my Daddy....I am so grateful that you and me were able to talk about how it would be for me once you died...you told me it would be hard for me.. you knew I would hurt...and I know you hurt for me... as much as I hurt for you... You and I were faced with such a hard thing knowing we would be separated after all we have shared...I am so glad that we had the chance to talk about and share that with each other like we did with everything....I believe that that was a gift for you and me from God...He knew that to just have it happen suddenly would be worse so I believe He gave you and me the time we needed together to help each other through this...because He knew that we always helped each other with everything....I know you would never leave me if you had a choice because you told me ....so much we shared...it just hurts so much now that you are not here...whenever I felt this bad you have always been the one to help me through...to let me know that I was loved no matter what....to pick up any broken pieces....to protect me... and care for me....I just don't know how to do this alone... I LOVE YOU as much today as I always have....and I will always be Daddy's little girl...your little girl...the little girl who saw moonbeams in your eyes and worshipped the ground you walked on till the day you died and even now since you've gone ...I will always be your kiddo...I am so thankful for what we have had in life...I Love You Daddy, I miss you...love your kiddo, your little girl vela leigh
April 13, 2011
Hi Daddy, I am really missing you more and more...I still cannot believe this...I know you are not here...but I just cannot believe that you are gone...my days are long and lonely without you...I miss our daily visits and phone calls, and our lunches and shopping trips...I miss our long talks...our laughs...I miss you Daddy...I hope you can hear me when I talk to you...I Love You very much...Lots of Love, kiddo
April 01, 2011
Hi Daddy, Well it is April fools day...I guess you won't be calling me in the morning to tell me something...and then tell me April Fools...You always had such a sense of humor...and enjoyed playing little jokes on everyone...to make them smile...I miss that so much about you....basically I just miss all of you...Lots of Love, kiddo
p.s. I'll be waiting just in case...
March 23, 2011
Hi Daddy,

There are just no words strong enough to describe how much I miss you. I will always carry you with me in my heart. I love you. Lots of love, kiddo
March 14, 2011
Hi Daddy,

I miss you...it is getting harder not easier without you here...I love you...lots of love kiddo
March 06, 2011
Hi Daddy,
I just wanted to say thanks for the visit...it is really hard without you here...I miss our long talks, our phone calls, our car rides and sight-seeing, our lunchs, just everything...but most of all I just miss spending time with and being with you...I love you...kisses and hugs
love your kiddo
February 28, 2011
Daddy, five weeks is just too long....I love you...miss you
February 24, 2011
Hi Daddy,

It is so hard to believe it has been 1 month since God called you...Sometimes it seems like forever and other times it seems like just now...I miss you...lots of love your kiddo forever...
February 18, 2011
Daddy, Your first birthday without you actually here...Really hard day...I just miss you so much...words cannot even describe the way I feel...My heart is aching ... and I am so sad and lonely...I love you...and hope you are doing okay... I hope you had a nice birthday in heaven...Happy Birthday again...Love your kiddo
February 18, 2011
Hi Daddy,

I cannot believe that it is your birthday and you are not here...when 5:00 am comes today there will be no birthday phone call for me to make...I will instead tell you Happy Birthday aloud and hope that you can hear me... I am sending you a candle for you to blow out ... I bet Nagymama is making you your favorite torte as we speak ...I too am making you your favorite coffee torte but it will not be the same without you here to blow out the candles...I will go to our usual birthday spot and have lunch...hope you can come be with me in spirit...I Love You Daddy and I Miss You...Happy 82nd Birthday...Love your kiddo - veraleigh
February 13, 2011
February 13-14, 2011
Hi Daddy, Just came back from the cemetery...Hope you like your valentine flowers...I was just sitting here remembering how you always bought me a valentine...whether it was a card or a box of candy...you just always remembered me...and I you...I remember the one year when we went out to dinner (something we always did) but this one in particular when you gave me a heart shaped box of chocolate candies... and the red heart pillow with the little white kitty on top...I loved it so and have always treasured it...I still keep it in my bedroom...we had such a nice dinner you and I...that's just the way it's always been with you and me...we have always took care of and looked out for each other ...so many special moments, talks, tears, laughter, you and I have shared...it is hard to believe I don't have these days to share with you now...I really miss you...Thanks for being the best daddy I could ever ask for...but most of all thanks for being my daddy..Happy Valentines Day...I love you...your kiddo
February 10, 2011
Hi Daddy, It's me, your Kiddo...No fancy words, just simple one's to tell you that "I LOVE YOU" as much today as "I ALWAYS HAVE" and that "I MISS YOU" more than words could ever possibly describe...Hugs and Kisses to you...love your kiddo forever even in eternal life.
February 05, 2011
Hi Dad, The last few weeks we shared have been very special, we have had many "private conversations and special laughs" that I will always cherish, you have given me a very secret part of your life I never knew before. I am so grateful and honored that you shared so many of those memories with me. Thank you for the gift you have given me, Love you Always, Louise
February 01, 2011
Hi Daddy,

I miss you..I Love You...Now the really hard part begins...How do I live everyday without you...You have been my daily life forever...this is really hard...Please watch over me...Love vera
January 30, 2011
Hi Daddy, It's me...I miss you soooooo much...my heart is breaking...You are the man that helped guide me throughout my life...and instilled upon me the many values I hold dear... You have always been there for me for anything and everything and I for you...I know that somehow you will continue to be here for me...and I will continue to be there for you, even in death. I will not let you down and will continue to do all that you asked of me...and will honor all your final wishes...You are my daddy...and that will always be...and with a love as strong as yours and mine I know that we will never be truly apart...Our Love will continue to embrace each other and our bond continue to grow.
I miss hearing your voice and all our daily phone calls and visits...and there is a big hollow place inside me right now...So many times I have picked up the phone to call you...I even dialed your number a few times and then I realized that you would not be there to answer...I want to hear you call me kiddo, and say I love you,and tell me what is in todays paper, or see you sitting at my kitchen counter drinking coffee as you have countless times, I miss our visits...and our long talks. Who will call me in the morning, and say these things to me...who will call me on Sunday mornings and tell me they beat me to mass...and they did not even have to leave their house, who will do all the things that you did in my life... Even Snickers and MyGirl want to get their pets from you...There is so much more I am missing...and my daily life will never ever be the same...as you have been here for me for each and every one of those days...forever...I love you daddy and I will always be Daddys little girl... your best kiddo...hugs and kisses to you
January 27, 2011
Dear Jozsi, Maria, and Family,
It is with great sadness thar I learned of Bela's death. He and I were great friends in our younger years. We had had a lot of fun together in the early days of our life on Buckeye Rd. I will always cherish him and those memories of him in my heart. It must be very difficult for the family to lose such a wonderful man and I wish you will find peace in your heart. God be with you in your sorrow.
Sicerely, Victor and Margaret Falk
January 27, 2011
Dear Mária,Józsi, Kathie, children and grandchildren of Béla,
We are so sorry to hear of your loss. We have known each other with Béla since 1951 when the group of young immigrants in Cleveland found each other and spent a lot of time laughing and having a good time together.
As the years passed, everyone went different ways as their career and families deemed necessary. The last time we saw Béla was when Józsi and he visited the Hungarian Museum. Always a big smile on his face, always in a good mood, always positive-anyway as we saw him. He was such fun to have as a friend, never a dull boring moment with him as I am sure he was with all of you too. Looking at perhaps the last picture of him at Christmas, with his family, he still has that wonderful broad smile that we were accostumed to see.
It is with great sadness we think of his passing as he also took a part of our youth, the carefree days we so fondly remember and cherish.
He looks so happy with his family in the Christmas picture, we can only imagine how he felt receiving all the love from all of you.
May he rest in eternal peace and may you all find comfort in knowing that a lot of people genuinly cared for him.
With our sincerest sympathy,
Zsuzsa and Pista Szappanos
January 27, 2011
Dear Vera, Janet and Loretta,

Please except my deepest sympathy. Your dad was a very good man and he loved all of you very much. I know that he would have done anything for you. That being said, all of you really showed your dad how much you loved him by being there for him and doing what needed to be done for him so his life would be good until the end. Vera you have always been like a daughter to me and I miss the good old days when we saw each other practically every day. I wish all of you the peace and comfort of God. Love Rose
January 27, 2011
My sincere sympathy goes to the entire family. We know that he is at a wonderful place now, but that does not make the loss of him any less painful for those, who grieve for him. As outsiders, we can only guess at the pain, and can only offer our prayers and our empathy.
More than half a century ago, when we, a group of Hungarian immigrants, arrived in the USA war-scared, confused, bewildered, we clung to each other for comfort and reassurance. Bela was part of the group, and my youthful memories include him. I hope that now far above among the stars, he remembers and enjoys again the fun and laughter we had together so many years ago, because after all, despite the strangeness of it all, we had a measure of happiness. I am keeping him in my special memory.
Asking God to receive his soul and to give you comfort,I send you mu greetings:
Judith Balogh-Petres from Hungary
January 26, 2011
Our last Christmas with Dad, We will hold you and our memories close in our hearts always. Love, Loretta, Tony, Anthony, Michael Matthew & Krystin
January 26, 2011
For my daddy...
January 26, 2011
Hi Daddy, I miss you so much allready...I know that you are with Nagymama, Nagypapa, Jennifer & Kristina and that you are at peace but my heart is aching for you. I love you...Love your Kiddo, vera leigh
January 26, 2011
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