It is April 1st and I am missing you terribly...I know that I am not going to hear you call me first thing and tell me something and then say "April Fool"...how you loved to joke aroung. My heart is broken into a million zillion pieces...I don't know if the pieces will ever fit back together again Daddy...without you here it is just tooooo hard. My days are very long, and very lonely and empty. No one ever made me feel the way you always did, like they were happy to see me, to be with me, to talk with me...I miss our morning phone calls...you have always been the first person I would talk to when I woke up and now everytime I awake I am reminded that there is no phone call. No on to say to me "What's up kiddo" or "Hello ver(l)a leigh. I wish they had telephones in heaven, at least then I could talk with you, and we could share our day via conversation at least...
Being apart from you this long is just so unbearable. Everyone thinks I am doing so well because I am going to my classes, doing my work, running around, cleaning etc. What they don't know is that on the inside I am screaming, crying, and aching with every core of my being. I learned along time ago how to put a smile on my face even when I was hurting and I guess that is what I have to do now.
I know you would never have gone if you had a choice, you have always been there for me and would do anything for me when needed...I too have always been there for you...How lucky I am to have had someone in my life that I could trust completely and know that no matter what they would never leave and walk away. In todays world no one really cares about each other, they meet, they talk, mostly phony talk, they even give phony hugs, then they walk away and leave as if you never even mattered or existed...Daddy. With you I never felt left and even now that you are gone I don't feel like you left me. I know you would not have gone and would have done anything to stay with me if you could.
We had such a special relationship, noone really understands the deep bond you and I shared...Many just think that my Dad died, but what they don't know is that I died too...on the inside...from that moment you took your last breath my world crumbled and life stopped for me, life as I knew it and life ahead of me...My Daddy died but so did my best friend, my confidant, my comfort, my companion, my support, my cheerleader, my chauffer, my hero, my person with whom I always knew would be there, who loved and cared about me unconditionally and who I loved and cared about unconditionaly. I am never gong to feel that excitement because you are walking up my driveway or because we are going out somewhere, or because we are together. I am always empty inside now Daddy, I have this huge hole in me and even though it is a hole, it is wrenced in sadness and heartbreak. I just miss you so terribly much Daddy and that will never go away...just like the love we shared will to never go away...Please come visit with me Daddy, come and sit with me and share a cup of coffee and tell me some of your stories, come and hold my hand and laugh and cry with me. I am really not feeling well Daddy and I just need you so...I Love You Daddy, with every breath I take. Szeretlek. Please don't forget me Daddy...I am right here waiting. lots of love, your kiddo, vera leigh