You are always in my thoughts and you are missed very much.
Merry Christmas Mom! We miss you!
It is nearing six months, and I continue to try and live in a delusion. The sun on my face and earth at my feet must be a dream and one day I will awaken from this nightmare. However, the reality and finality of it all are getting harder and harder to hide from. I cannot tell you how often I have nearly picked up the phone to call you only to feel the rush of pain flood me once again. Ever hopeful that I will awake.
Thinking of you and missing you on your birthday. Love you.
Ma it isnt getting any better, the hole in my soul seems to grow and grow every day. I miss you so very much. I miss our daily talks and all the laughs. I hope you are in a better place and all the pain is gone. I wish I could have done more.
Missing you very much today.
I miss you Mom. Happy Mother's Day.
Mom, I miss you so much; life doesnt feel the same. It has been so hard not talking and seeing you. Everyday I think of you and some days it is so hard just to get out of bed. I would give anything to have you back again.
I think about you every day and miss talking with you about everything and anything.
Mom, every day seems worse then the last. There is a hole in my soul. I miss you so much.
I wanted to post this message from Carol Shannon. She worked with my Mom at Women's Imaging. Here is what she wrote on the Wooster Funeral Home website:
Carol Shannon, March 15, 2013 6:27 PM EDT
Debbie was one of my favorite friends at Women's Imaging, where we both worked. We closed the center every night and always looked out for one another. We would often leave together but we would never pull out of the parking lot until the other had started their car up and was pulling away. I will miss my friend. Fondly, Carol
Over the years I have, like I am sure many of you have, tried to understand why we are all here. I have spent a considerable time reading different philosophies and
debating them over and over in my mind. What I have come to believe is that this world is a forge, designed to prepare our souls for the next level and one step closer to God. I further believe that we continue to come back over and over again, in different forms or types of backgrounds, until we have gained those insights and characteristics, which would allow us to go to the next level.
Through my days I have met and interacted with many people and as I am sure you all know, you start to have the ability to generally determine who are close to take that next step and those who need a few more times around. But
there are a few of those beautiful souls who you know are on their last trip around and are ready to move to the next level. They shine bright in an otherwise grey world. I am privileged to be the son of one of those beautiful souls, Deborah Louise Nixon Mercer. I have been further blessed in that I have many beautiful souls in my family. One of the many gifts that my mother gave me was the ability to spot these beautiful souls; one of them I married and and the Lord blessed me with two more beautiful souls, my daughters. As I look around this room I see so many other beautiful souls, which is rare and I am so fortunate. I hope that one day, either in this life or the next, I too can claim to be a beautiful soul.
A little over two years ago when Allison came home from college during her first semester she told Dianne that she was so grateful that she had us as her parents. As she entered this often times cruel world, she realized that while we were hard on her growing up, it was to prepare her and that she saw so many others who had not been so fortunate. This was the greatest compliment a child
could give to their parents and I was able to give that gift to her because of my mother. It was because of her that I learned that loyalty and sacrifice to those who one loves is the first and core duty, and she demonstrated this to the end. When biographers look back on others lives, they often write of those who have made great social, political, historical, or scientific accomplishments, but rarely do you read a biography of what is truly important, the loving sacrifice that one beautiful soul gives to those in their lives. My mother sacrificed so much in her life and allowed tarnish and scars to her soul so as to protect and nurture those whom she loved, and she would say that is all that mattered and that is what is worthy of biography.
Mom had three children, but in a way it was as if she had three “only children”. She knew that we each needed something different from her and she gave that to each of
us and more. Growing up, she provided the perfect balance of love and discipline. Everything that is good in me I owe to her. While she was strict with me in order to prepare me for the world, she was also very tender, in order for me to prepare my children for this world. I was not allowed out of my backyard until I was eight years old. At the same time, when I first started going to school, I was very afraid. She got me through it. Every morning for a long time, we would wake up early in order to play Clue and then she would drive me to school so as to allow me more time to get ready to face my then fears. Once again she knew what I needed and provided that.
Another gift that she provided was humor. I look back very fondly on my childhood it was full of love and laughter, Discovery and inflection, debates and knowledge. She loved to tell or make a practical joke; make a witty, sarcastic, comment; make a goofy face; and to tease, but she always knew what was appropriate and who for a lack of a better term, could take it. Even as sick as she was, she still found joy and laughter wherever and whenever she could.
Just the week before things had gotten so bad for her I was visiting her with Dianne in the hospital. Amy, whom she loved like a daughter, was coming to see her that
Day, it was after one of her bad CO2 attacks, and she said to me that when Amy came she would grasp her hand and say “Honey is that you, are you here to take me now?” and she did that laugh that she always did. Of course she would not do that to Amy, as she knew that Amy could not take such a joke at that time.
Last night I read through two notebooks that she kept in the hospital; that she would write to people who had difficulty in reading her lips. In a way it was
very hard for me to read as it showed how much she suffered but it also demonstrated how beautiful she was. She was so afraid of dying, which I had thought was a reflection of the common fear of death, but I have now realized it was
not that. She was afraid of dying not because of death itself but because she would not be here to sacrifice and give to those whom she loved. The books were full of statements of concern for her family. She worried
about many of you. She had Dad swear never to tell Aunt Ruth how sick she was, for concern that it would upset her. There were many other entries where she was asking how certain family members were doing throughout those months. And of course there were several notations that made me laugh, one in particular was to my father, who apparently was wearing a shirt that didn't fit him right and she wrote: ”John that shirt doesn't fit you, throw it out”. When I read it I could see the look on her face when she was trying to tell my Dad, who was so terrible in reading lips. My father was at the hospital every day by her side and Jason Glenn and Dianne were not far behind, but I could not bear to see her like she was. I felt that I had let down in allowing this to happen to her and for how she ended up. So I dealt with my anguish through limiting my trips to see her in the hospital to perhaps once a week. I know she knew this and understood how I needed to get through it. When I did see her, we would have hours of conversation. Three nights ago as I drifted into twilight, I had a dream of her in her hospital bed. She sat up and she was young again. She then turned to me and smiled, as if to say it is all right. I would like to think that this was her final gift to me.
As time passed in my life, my relationship with mom changed from one of mother to son to two old friends. I miss my mother; I will miss my friend. But as I look in
the reflection of the looking glass and the eyes of my children I see part of that beautiful soul which will be passed on through me, to them, and to their
children, and that makes me smile. Thank you Mom for the love and guidance; the tears and laughter; and the lessons and knowledge and thank you God for blessing me with a beautiful soul to guide and love me.
I miss you so much already
You will remain forever in my heart.
You are all in our prayers. Debbie was a kind, special woman.
Sending lots of prayers to the Mercer Family. Sorry for your loss, Bill & Karen Grubbs
Dear John & Dianne & Mercer Family,
So sorry to hear of your mom's passing. You will be in my thoughts & prayers. I hope in the weeks to come you will be able to focus on the wonderful memories.
Our Hearts,Thoughts and Prayers are with The Mercer Families.God will be your Rock and Source of Strength amongst you,as well as the Heartprints and Memories she shared with and bestowed upon you all!
I worked with Deb at Women's Imaging for quite a few years. She was quite the character and made me laugh often. I also loved discussing the show "Dexter" with her Monday mornings. God Bless Deb, we will miss you.
May her life live on in the memories of all the people who were fortunate enough to have known her.
Sending lots of hugs to the family. I only met Ms. Mercer a few times in the hospital with Scott but I could tell what a wonderful woman she was and what a great caring and loving family she had. My thoughts are with all of her family at this difficult time.
Dear Jason and MaryAnn,
Words cannot express how sorry I am to hear about your mom. Although she is no longer with you, love and memories live forever. May you find comfort in the wonderful times you shared. My thought and prayers are with you and your family.
Jason and Mary Ann,
I am so sorry for your moms passing. I know how much you cared for her and that she will be missed. I will keep you and the entire family in my thoughts and prayers.