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John Michael Jeckot

John Michael Jeckot

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March 26, 2015
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March 26, 2015
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April 23, 2014
Dear John,

I had a dream about you but all I can remember is the fact that you looked and sounded great. It was you. Whenever I am able to recall you from a dream I feel as though we actually spent time together. Come and visit me again real soon, won't you? This time though, stay a bit longer.

I love you,
Mom
April 04, 2014
Dear John,

I feel nearest to you when I am with your daughters. They bring light where it is dark. They bring laughter where there are tears. They bring love when it is most needed.

Every time I look at one of your photos a tear comes to my eyes because I miss you so very much. My heart even seems to stop for a moment as I remember you are truly gone.

I struggle between wanting to honor you in my thoughts and words with the many memories you have given us and the true sadness of your absence in our lives.

I don't believe I will ever be the same person I was before you died because you took a part of me with you. But in all honesty, I glad you did.

Your sweet girls are growing so quickly. Jonna's personality is beginning to emerge. She has the largest bright smile you can imagine. She loves to laugh out loud and has found ways to make us laugh right along with her. Jonna, just yesterday, started to do her own version of waving hello and goodbye. Isabel is as adorable as a three year old could ever be. She is at the age where she is learning to express herself and recount experiences she has had as well as being full of questions that never end. She likes school, she comments regularly that she LOVES to paint and dresses herself every day making sure she has matched the color of her articles of clothing and shoes perfectly. I especially love her genuine hugs and dear kisses. Anna's focus is on discovery and her friendships. She truly loves to read. As soon as I drop her off at home she grabs a book and heads for the couch. I rarely can get her to say goodbye because she has her head buried in a new book from the library or purchased from the school book fair. Anna loves horses most of all and is anxiously awaiting horse riding lessons during this spring. Both Anna and Isabel get a real kick out of observing and playing with Jonna. Jonna, on the other hand, can't take her eyes off of her sisters as she studies every move they make.

Your family misses you. Your Dad and I miss you. I know you miss us too. You will always be our John. Big, strong, funny and loving.

Love, Mom
March 10, 2014
If John could write to us, maybe he would say...

Dear Mom and Dad,

When you are dreaming or on your own
Remember that you are not alone
We will always be, you and me
In your heart and soul where no one sees

Pick out the brightest star and there I'll be
Shining down on you a gift from me
I will always know where you are
Look within yourself I'm not so far

Remember, Mom. Remember, Dad. You are not alone.

Trust me when I say to you this day
Life is special, live, laugh, don't delay
I send my love and joy to you
Don't worry so, I am fine, it's true

If our kingdoms seem like worlds apart
We are closer really in our hearts
It won't be easy for you now that I'm gone
Please keep your faith, you must be strong

Remember, Mom. Remember, Dad. You are not alone.

Love, John
February 26, 2014
You're so very welcome. It's such a small thing for 2 people who have done huge things for all 'our' kids. My love to you and Jack.......always!
February 25, 2014
Thank you, Marge, for your everlasting support, generosity and friendship.
February 20, 2014
John,

The pictures of your life play in my mind over and over again. You are with me every moment of the day. I will never let go. None of us will because we love you and miss you so much.

Isabel continues to speak of you every day I am with her. She shares stories and her memories of you. Today she asked to see a photo of you we have up on a shelf. I took the framed photo down and explained it was taken on the day you married Mommy. I handed her the photo and proceeded to take care of Jonna. As I was feeding Jonna lunch, Isabel came into the breakfast room, showed Jonna your picture and said, "Jonna, this is Daddy!" Isabel placed your picture on the table where she was playing with some toys as if to include you in her day.

Isabel was only 2 1/2 when you died. I find her recollection of you amazing. She reminds me of you, especially her little sense of humor and her facial expressions. She has an infectious laugh too.

Your daughters are all beautiful and special. They bring us joy and love. Thank you for becoming a husband and father so that we could enjoy your sweet daughters. You have given us much to be thankful for today and all of the tomorrows we will see.

Your father and I love you so very much.

Mom
February 02, 2014
Dearest Son,

It pains me every time I read in the paper or on line that someone has died suddenly from an overdose. This is happening with much to much frequency and unfortunately brings back those sad feelings about how you died, how we didn't know how badly you needed help, how shocked we were when we learned you died from an overdose. We never thought this would happen in our family. It happens to others, so we thought. But now we know it can happen to any family from any community or background. There are no boundaries.

How in God's name do we stop this horrible epidemic? Should I be doing something other than reading about it? I pray for an answer.

God bless you, John. You are a good soul. If only we had known. If only. If only. If only.

Love, Mom
January 23, 2014
Sunday Night, January 19th

Dear John,

I try to forget and even deny that you are gone. I feel as if I am living in a holding pattern, a pattern that has already lasted an entire year. You know the saying, “Time heals all wounds”? I am living proof that time alone cannot heal a broken heart. This overwhelming sadness will surely be with me forever.

Even though your father's heart is as broken as mine, he has been my incredible partner as always. I could not have gotten through the past twelve months without him. He loves and misses you so very much.

We miss your smile, that handsome face of yours and the way you could make us laugh. Your family and friends miss being with you. We are so proud of all you did in your life. You were a wonderful son, brother, husband and father.

Yesterday I watched a movie your Aunt Madelyn sent me called, “Home for the Holidays”. The final sound track was a song entitled, “The Very Thought of You.” The lyrics and melody hit me like a ton of bricks. It was as if the music was pulling my thoughts and feelings right onto the screen.

I am thinking of you always. You encompass my thoughts.

Love,
Mom
January 22, 2014
My Dear John,
It's taken me 1 whole year to write this. I Love You and Miss You terribly. I held you as a baby in my arms and I massaged you and tickled your back as a 6'5 grown, handsome, and loving man. I used to have young male clients that came to me for massage. I would start to feel a bit intimidated that just maybe I was not going to be able to help these young and buffed young men. (Do they need super deep tissue and techniques I might not know?) THEN—I would think of you and just imagine that it was my “John” in my care. It always worked like magic. Thank you for that!!! You ALWAYS made time for me during each and every one of my visits back east. Even though it was and always is hectic to try and see everyone, YOU always made the time to see me---even coming up to the MountainsJ Thank You, John!
One of THE worst days of my life except for last year on this day when you went to heaven, was the day we had to say goodbye to my baby brother Michael. I was SO scared! Someone suggested I drive my Mom to the church and I said, “I can't.” YOU immediately took over and said “I'll drive you, Aunt Kathleen.” Your Dad drove Mom. You were my hero. You also had the courage to get up and speak during the service. I was amazed and so proud of you being able to do that. You also drove me to the luncheon afterwards. I felt comfort in you taking care of me, John. Thank You! You will always have a Special Place in my heart and I KNOW that you know thatJ)) I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER AND know that you're taking good care of and watching over your Mom, Dad, Elizabeth, Chris, Nancy, Anna, Isabel, Jonna, Austin, Jackson, and ALL of us. I know we will be together again one day! Love, Hugs, and Kisses, Aunt Kathleen
January 03, 2014
Dear John,

I speak to you several times a day. I pray you are alright. Do you hear me?

I look for you in the clouds. I look for you in the stars. Do you see me?

I yearn to hear your voice. I yearn to hear your laugh. I want to see your face. I want to see your smile.

Pray for us.

Love, Mom

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