The pain of losing a loved is so great and yet our Creator understands even the pain of death. When he sent his son to die on our behalf, it was painful to him and at great cost. Yet his love for his Creation is so great that he was willing to even experience the pain of losing his only begotten son in death. "For God loved the world so much that He gave his only begotten son....John 3:16)
I am so sorry and I too know the pain of losing a loved one in death. May you find comfort through prayer.