4 months, really? I still don't understand why it had to be you. I still think of you every day as I wake up and throughout each day that I am here...without you. New memories come to me every day, I thank God for those because at one point I had this awful fear that they would stop flowing.
This week I have been remembering you when we first met. Your music, your house on Vicksburg, how happy you and Mom were....how amazing those homemade pecan rolls rolls were that you and Mom would make all the time at your house. I remember the first time we came there and Miranda had just been born and was in her baby swing .... I was all about babies and fell in love with her immediately with her red hair! Who knew I would get my own little baby red head who looks like he was born right into your family!
I remember going to the White County fair with you the first year you came into our life....you were so obnoxious and I remember laughing and thinking you were a tad crazy....I was only 11 and way shy as I'm sure you remember. What I don't want to remember is the second Grandma told me you were gone....the most awful feeling I have known.
I remember so much from over the past 23 years. So much happy, fun, sad, and so much love. You became part of my life, my heart and part of my soul as I was fortunate enough to grow up with you around and I am so thankful for every second that I was able to spend with you but I will always have wished for more time, more memories, more talks, more road trips, more love, more music, more movies, more laughter, MORE you. I miss and love you more than any words could ever describe and I won't ever stop.
Until we meet again, loving you all my days and wishing you being gone wasn't real.