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1st Lt. Louis E. Allen

1st Lt. Louis E. Allen

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December 28, 2014
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December 28, 2014
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September 10, 2005
My Dear Lou,
Today I woke up thinking about the day you were born. The night before, Mr. Benedict asked me, "When is this baby gonna be born?". I said, "He's waiting for tomorrow for his father's birthday." I knew you were going to be a boy because I was just as sick as with Robert. Anyway, I woke up on July 20, 1970 and I knew you were going to be born that day. When Dad turned over and opened his eyes, I told him that this was it. We laid in bed for a while just talking about how happy we were.
Dad got up and gave your brother and sisters breakfast, while I got ready to go to the hospital. They stayed with the Maraglinos' until Dad got back.
When I got to the hospital it was so different than giving birth in the City. The nurses and the doctors were so caring. I remember your heart beating for the first time and asking the doctor "What's that sound?". I had never heard it before even though you were my fourth child.
I remember after giving birth to you; seeing your beautiful little face, and being so happy and content. I love you Louis; and I always will.
Unfortunately, during this beautiful memory, the horror of what happened to you intruded. I tried very hard to push that away and think only of your birth. I actually was able to do that for a little while; but it always came back to haunt me. I will never be able to overcome the sadness that's in me all the time.
Dad and I went to see Trevor and Colin on their first day of school. What should have been such a happy day was very sad for us knowing that you will never get to experience all these happy days with your children.
We are all hurting so bad for you and I don't know how to help anyone because I can't even help myself. We miss you so much and cry every day for your loss.
Love,
Mom
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