On this your 53rd birthday, we miss you daily and love you always! Gilda & Kids
May the blessing of the rain
be on you- the soft sweet rain.
May it fall upon your spirit so that all the little flowers may spring up and shed their sweetness on the air.
May the blessing of the great rains be on you, may they beat upon your spirit
and wash it fair and clean, and leave there many a shinning pool
where the blue of heaven shines,
and sometimes a star.- An Irish Blessing
Happy St.Patrick's Day Barry! Love Always, Gilda
I never thought I would turn 50 without you...we were to grow old together. Still missing you! Gilda
Three years have gone by. We have missed you every single day.
We love you and always will.
Gilda & the kids
"When you're dreaming with a broken heart
the waking up is the hardest part".....it was hard waking up today on our 26th Wedding Anniversary.
I miss you and always will.
I heard a poem the other day. One verse is all I need!
I carry your heart in my heart...
731 days without you!!! I miss you and I miss us!!! And the kids miss their father. Always in our hearts and thoughts... G.
Merry Christmas Baby!
I love you,
I had the privilege of knowing Barry, briefly. His passing was a time of change for all who knew him. I will always remember Barry for the great person he is!
This is the first time i have written in here. I'm at Boston College, studying film, just like you thought i should do. I haven't changed too much, but then I guess I've changed a lot. You really held the family together, but we are trying to make due. I think Theta Xi is going to make me an honorary member, even though BC doesn't have a greek system. I will probably be initiated at MIT as a delta, but then later at UCLA as an alpha. I miss you everyday.
At the 10th hour, on the 10th day, of the 10th month, we were married 25 years ago today! We were going to be waking up together in Paris on this day, instead I woke up alone. We imagined so many different ways of spending this day, but never alone. Who said the seconsd year is easier? I love you
I only found out about Barry two days ago when I received my copy of the latest "Unicorn" from Theta Xi. Needless to say I was shocked and deeply saddened by the news. Terry expained to me what had happened. Please accept my heartfelt condolences, late as they are. I was Barry's Pledge Director at UCLA, which means I got to teach him the Theta Xi history and values and a few filthy songs, which he enjoyed just like the rest of us. Barry was always a very enjoyable person to be around; fun loving, a bit sarcastic, dignified, with a touch of impishness. As a freshman he avoided the ignominy of being ceremoniously "pink bellied" and thrown in the pool by running around what seemed like the whole fraternity row and sneaking in the back door, jumping into the pool on his own.In a nutshell, he was what we at Theta Xi call "a well loved friend and brother". He will not be forgotten.
My Darling Barry,
I will think of you every hour of the day on your 50th Birthday tomorrow!
Love you always, Gilda
I wish I could dream, but forgot to somehow-Lullaby by Matt Costa...Gilda
...And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
Time seems to go on, our lives seem to move on, but with one menory of you, we become grounded. To know that you have something, to lose it, and to forever cherish that memory, this is what reminds us every day, that life, family, & friends is so much more important than all the other little stuff. It keeps us grounded. Barry's life was light. Whether it be a light in a tunnel, a light that guided us, a light that showed the path for us, or as simple as the light that lit up the basketball court. His life was light for all of us. So perhaps it's the light on the basketball court, or the scrabble board or the sunlight dancing off the snow on the mountain, or his eyes lighting by his smile, these are the things that keep us grounded in our hectic everyday lives. Smile and leave the light on.
Today is Easter and I wanted to mention that we were together for 24 Easters, the first was on April 6th, 1980 and our last on April 11th, 2004. On our first Easter you came to my door with red-orange Tulips and you remembered to get me Tulips on many Easters after that. You also started a tradition with Natalie and Nikki of getting them
Easter bonnets. We treassure these memories and we will forever. Throughout the years we had fun putting together the baskets for our kids, although sometimes you fell asleep before we had finished. Still, in the morning you inspected the baskets and ,as always, you were both excited and proud. Easter is about the Resurrection of the Soul. You were a kind man with a big heart, worthy of this new life. I hope that when my candle goes out in this life, I too am found worthy of this resurrection, as well as, our children and their children, so as to be close to you again. Loving you always...
Today, Gentry turned 19!! Molly, Bryan, Carmen, Pepe & Oly came over to celebrate with us and to watch the Bruins beat LSU in the Final Four. You would have loved it!!! We keep pictures of you in every room...no matter where we are in the house...you are there with us! As for me, Train's song "Cab" tells how it is...the days are better but the nights are still so lonely! I miss you babe...
About Tradition and Heritage
From Your Mother
Dear Barry - In reading so many of the beautiful poems, letters and notes in this guest book, it occured to me how many times you were described as being traditional, and I thought I would elaborate a little about your tradition and perhaps your heritage.
On your father's side, the Stubblefields have been in America since the late 1600's/early 1700's. They came to the new world from England with a land grant from King George. They fought for independence in the Revolutionary War and also fought in the Civil War and wherever else they were needed to forge this great land. They were one of the first families in Tennessee, having followed the trail across the Cumberland Pass into a vast new territory. The Empson's, also on your paternal side, arrived in this country around the 1870's and were early pioneers and settlers in South Dakota and Wisconsin, also having come from England.
The Barry family, whom you were named for, came to Ireland from the Normandy region in France, when William the Conquerer of England invaded Ireland in the 1100's. They stayed there and settled and helped rule the land and hence were known as the Norman Irish. All known for strong tradition. Your great-great grandfather Michael Barry emigrated to America from Cork County, Ireland in the 1840's, settling in the Illinois Territory until making their way to Minnesota in the 1860's. Your great-grandfather Garret Barry was one of the early pioneers and settlers in Minneapolis and owned and ran a hotel in downtown Minneapolis in the 1890's. Margaret Ryan Barry, your great-grandmother, who emigrated to America from County Tipperary, Ireland, about 1885 as a school teacher, started what was known then as a Settlement House for poor immigrants from some of the european countries to provide medical and dental care, along with English lessons and other necessities. They were both of strong and community minded stock, steeped in traditiion. Another family on your mothers' side is the Mealey/O'Malley clan who emigrated from County Mayo, Ireland in the 1840's. They are known as a clan because they are of the original Irish and probably Celtic. They also were early pioneers to Minnesota and your great-grandfather Michael Mealey began as a cop on the beat in downtown Minneapolis in the 1880's keeping the lumberjacks respectable and later rose to the rank of Chief of Police of Minneapolis by 1910. Again very strong and community minded families.
Although you were mostly raised in Southern California, you were raised by parents born and raised by pioneer families from the upper midwest, mainly from Minnesota who were mainly from England and Ireland, rather traditional countries. You had every reason to be traditional, as your family has been for generations.
We are very proud of you to have carried on our families heritage in such a magnificent manner.
Our love, always and proudly
A Tribute from your brother Rick
on January 21, 2005
August 17, 1956 to January 21, 2005
Barry Richard Stubblefield was born one month premature on August 17, 1956 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He was the first son of Colleen Barry and Richard David Stubblefield, hence his name Barry Richard.
Barry was a very active child. He served the church as an alter boy and spent several years in the cub scouts. He played little league baseball, Pop Warner football, and CYO basketball. Barry's determination, resourcefulness, industriousness, work ethic, and perseverance became apparent through his desire to succeed athletically. For example, Barry wanted a new baseball glove so he could play little league. Barry raised the money by collecting newspapers from the neighborhood and recycling them to earn the money needed to buy his first glove.
Barry was always working; he had a paper route for the Valley Green Sheet from the time he was 8 years old until high school. To earn extra spending money Barry sold flowers on the corner of busy intersections on special occasions. Barry then got a job at the local tuxedo shop, a job that defined his social life during his late teens.
Barry excelled academically. He graduated from grade school with honors and graduated high school magna cum laude. He graduated from UCLA and later passed the CPA Exam.
During high school, Barry played both football snd basketball. Barry was undersized in high school and struggled to keep up in basketball and football, his sports of choice. Fulfilling his need to compete, Barry joined the debate team where he excelled. It was in high school that Barry learned to ski.
Community and fellowship were at the core of Barry. While a senior in high school Barry coached the Our Lady of Lourdes CYO basketball team to a championship. He was an active member of the Teen Club at Lourdes. While on a Teen Club ski trip his senior year of high school, Barry became very ill and was diagnosed with juvenile onset diabetes.
Barry was born to go to UCLA. He joined the Theta Xi Fraternity. YITB - "Yours in the Bonds". Barry took it to heart and made some of the strongest and most enduring friendships a man can have, Terry, Johnny, Joe, Alan, Dave, Mark, Blake and Bob. Barry met the love of his life, Gilda Rodriguez. Gilda became an integral part of Barry's fraternal life. They loved attending Bruin basketball and football games together and with friends. While at UCLA, Barry blossomed as a basketball player. Never bashful, Barry tried out for the UCLA basketball team as a walk-on his sophmore year and almost made the freshman team. Terry, Johnny and Barry became a dominant team on the basketball court.
Barry and Gilda married on October 10, 1981. They had five wonderful children together: Spencer (who passed away at 29 days from a malformed heart), Gentry, Brenden, Natalie and Pierce. Barry loved and honored Gilda's Cuban heritage. He was very close to Gilda's side of the family. Barry's love for Cuban cigars was related to his deep love for Gilda. The children were the center of Barry and Gilda's marriage and Barry's life. Barry continued to coach and teach the kids in all sports most recently coaching Pierce's soccer team into the playoffs. He was overjoyed last fall coaching Pierce and his two nephews, Kaven and Raymond, on the same 8 year olds basketball team. Barry was always happiest at one of his nieces or nephews birthday parties.
Barry had two brothers and three sisters who are all so happy to have known him, celebrated with him, cried with him, fought with him, and loved him.. Barry's warmth and presence will be deeply missed. Your spirit and guidance will always be with us.
Mom and Dad, thanks for Barry Richard.
We are at peace knowing Barry died on his mountain doing what he loved.
With love, your brother Rick
My mom passed away today. After 6 years of fighting her breast cancer, she is at rest. I remember how when she was first diagnosed, you kept it from me so as not to spoil my trip to Europe with Noel in February of 2000. It was a loving and unselfish gesture! Who would have thought that when this day came, you would not be here to hold my hand? She actually had a smile on her face when they took her away. She must have been happy to see all of you in Heaven. She loved you like a son. Take care of her now. Love always, Gilda
February, 2, 2006
Well, it has been just over a year since you left us. Molly, Bryan, Raymond, Maggie, Karl, Lea, Kaven, Greg, Nikki and I all went up the mountain on the 21st. I see why you loved the mountain and why you spent so much time up there. Mt. Waterman is God’s country, it is absolutely beautiful. I felt you there immediately when I got out of the car, I was able to say so long to you and I will see you again.
Take care of yourself and I will talk to you soon.
This poem is for all those we know that have passed on and for all of us that miss them:
There are Angels all around us.
For some not so apparent, for others,
We know they are with us always.
They keep us safe and stay close with us.
They guide us through the rocky road
And smile when the sun shines on our face.
Although we may not see them,
Knowing they are watching over us
Puts a calm in the air,
Like a throw that sends the chill away.
God’s heavenly helpers,
We can’t see nor touch them
Yet they are all around us,
Listening, hoping and praying,
Just like us.
I thank heaven above everyday
For the Angels all around us.
We know who they are,
It’s just the sense of touch and sight
So put a gentile smile on your face
Your Angel is right there watching over you.
Your Angel will keep you safe tonight.
Say a Pray for all the Angels in your life,
They are there watching and guiding us,
And giving us strength to grasp each new day.
Thank Heaven for the Angels all around us.
A year has passed... a year since my heart was broken in two...365 nights since you last slept in our bed. I built my life around you and now I've had to learn to live a new life..I liked my old one better! 12 months since your children watched a game with you...they miss you so much too! We gathered at the house (your family, mine, Joe, Johnny, Terry, Blake, Alan, Mark, Tommy and so many others) to celebrate your life and it was great!!...yet, we all knew the party was missing you! We will do this every year around the 21st because we love you and always will! Your wife
Our Dearest Barry,
We've been looking for you everywhere for a whole year. Where are you????
PHONE HOME E.T.!!!!!!
PHONE HOME !!!!!!!!
We miss you desperately - please phone home, we need you - but thanks for your help with Dad - he is doing much better - keep up the good work. We know you have important work to do where you now hang your hat, but please keep us in mind of important people to keep in contact with - we still have some clout.
Our love always and forever our darling - missing you always.
Your Very Own Mom & Dad.
For: Our Barry:
From: The Irish Historical Research Society
From Barry: A Name of Irish Origin,
He has a quiet peacefulness,
Knows the value of a kind word,
He is a winner in the race of life,
Given an inquiring and clever mind, enjoys having fun with friends
He has health, happiness and success. Understands the importance of a hug.
Our best to you our darling Barry, who gave us so very much, may your skies always be blue and our best always to you.
Our love always,
Mom and Dad
I can't believe it's been a year since we lost you. So much has happened - first you, then Grace and now, my mom! It's been the worst year ever! Gilda and the kids miss more than ever. Please pray for them and the rest of us. Give Spencer, my dad and Grace a big hug and kiss for me. I know my mom will be with you soon but pray that she will not suffer very much. Miss and love you, big brother!
Eulogy of Barry's Father-
January 27, 2005
48 years ago last August 17th, Colleen and I were blessed with our second child and first son. We named him Barry Richard after Colleen's maiden name and my first name. Barry was so anxious to get into this world he came a month early. He was born at St. Mary's Hospital in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The same hospital where his mother was born.
In his young and formative years he was very active having to experience everything that was available. From visiting his grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins or playing at North Commons Park. He had to swing higher and jump further than any other child.
Barry started kindergarten in Arvada, Colorado and was a good student enjoying learning and making new friends and having to experience and try all the new avenues that were beginning to open up for him. In 1965 we moved from Colorado to Sherman Oaks, California. Barry finished his grade school education at St. Francis De Sales grade school. He participated in the CYO sports that were offered and was an altar server. It was during these years at St. Francis that Barry joined Pop Warner Football and Little League Baseball and one year of Babe Ruth Baseball. Barry entered Notre Dame High School with honors after graduating from St. Francis. It was at this time that we moved to Northridge, California. We joined Our Lady of Lourdes parish and Barry coached the Lourdes CYO Basketball to Championship.
During his years at Notre Dame he was on the Debate Team and also was selected to participate in Boys State in Sacramento. He graduated Magna Cum Laude from Notre Dame.
While Barry was at Notre Dame, each winter we rented a cabin at Lake Tahoe, and this is where Barry developed his passion for skiing.
After graduating from Notre Dame Barry entered UCLA and eventually joined Theta XI Fraternity He enjoyed this association and made many lifetime friends, of which many are here today. During his Junior year he was elected President of Theta XI. After serving a year as President, Barry decided he needed some relief, so dropped out of school and headed to Sparks, Nevada where he worked as a 21 dealer and crap dealer and could ski all winter long.
By the next year Barry returned to UCLA and graduated. He later passed the CPA exam.
Barry met Gilda while both were undergraduates at UCLA, Barry & Gilda were married on October 10, 1981. They had five children together. Spencer (who died after 29 days) Gentry, Brenden, Natalie and Pierce. The children were the center of Barry & Gilda's life. Barry continued coaching Basketball and soccer for his children. About 2 or 3years ago Barry called me and told me that I was the assistant coach with him for Gentry's basketball team. He was vintage Barry that he didn't ask if I would, he told me I would. I must say in all the years that I coached I had more fun that winter than any other. Last year Barry coached Pierce and 2 of his nephews on the same 8 year old basketball team. This year he coached Pierce's soccer team to an undefeated season.
In the 48 plus years that we had with Barry I never heard him say a bad word about anybody. He had friends all over as we can see from the outpouring of people here today. Barry lived life to the fullest and experienced everything he could.
I feel comforted knowing that Barry experienced one more day on his beloved mountain and that he had his last ski run.
It is almost a year now, Barry, although it seems like yesterday. We cannot go past Starbucks or the donut shop without remembering each and every time how often we would run into you and the kids. Your presence is still so strongly felt. We still cannot forget the shock of hearing about your death. We know you are at peace and we keep Gilda and the kids in our prayers and thoughts always.
Hey B, Your name still lingers in OpVista. We all miss you. Merry Christmas to you and to all of the Stubblefield family.
I miss you more than words can say! Christmans was our Holiday...We got together for the first time at the Registrar's Office Christmas party at the UCLA Rec Center in 1979. That Christmas, we were also inseparable at your Christmas Party at the house on little Santa Monica and you brought me over to your parent's house for Christmas dinner just a couple of days later. A year later at the house on Moore street, we announced our engagement during the annual Christmas party...your roommates were not at all surprised! For 25 years, Christmas was our Holiday! I am trying to make it special for the kids as we have every year! For me,however, Christmas will never be as sweet! I will continue to share it with you in my thoughts and tears and I will raise a glass to you until my very last Christmas! I love you
As I read the entries in your guest book, I can't help but to think about how much everyone loves you and misses you so much. I know from personal experience how difficult it is to move into the holiday season without a loved one. I hope they can all take comfort in the fact that even though you are not physically here, your everlasting spirit will always be with them. I know you are smiling down from heaven with that twinkle in your eyes and that special smile on your face. You will always love them and they will always remember and love you. I wish you and all your loved ones a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Well i didn't like Thanksgiving because all the girls were sick i wasn't. It was very sad that you weren't there. I wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR! i miss you alot and i bet Nat does to!!
hey daddy i am going to miss you a lot over the holidays!! i am doing really well in school! Well merry christmas and happy new year i love you always and forever!!!!!
My Dear Barry -
You probably know, but Dad's had a tough battle this month with brain surgery. Give us all the help you can as he certainly needs it. We miss you desparately, so be sure to keep in touch - I'm sure you know how to better than we do.
We need you here - how about arranging at least a short visit.
Love you - Mom
today is kaven's halloween birthday party, I wish you could be here for this halloween to see me dress up as a clown. I am going to miss you and uncle greg dressing up this year but I'll try to have a fun halloween without you. I hope you, Abuelo,aunt grace, spencer and great granny have a great halloween together....
Don't eat TOOOOO much candy...
It is our 24th Wedding Anniversary Barry and I miss you more than ever!
You will forever be my Groom and I forever your Bride!
Take care of Grace for us! Give her a big hug and kiss.
We all love you both so much!
My sister Grace died today. You know that because you were there to take her hand and guide her to heaven. I asked God to free her from her horrible pain and he answered my prayers. I miss you and I need you babe!
It's 7 days until your anniversary. I just wish that you could be here for your anniversary. It's gonna be hard without you. Aunt grace wishes you could be here to help her get her through the hard times she's going through right now.
Pierce is doing great in soccer and so am i......
I wish you could be here to coach him and see him play.
I miss you!!
Love your daughter,
Mom, Lea and I went to see you for your b-day today. It was really the last place I wanted to spend with you on your 49th b-day. I so wanted to pick up the phone and just chat, Rick said I could not do that the long distance bill would be way to high! We left you some balloons and a pinwheel, I hope you enjoyed them.
I sure miss you, Happy Happy Birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BARRY!! LIFE ISN'T THE SAME WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO SEE YOUR SMILING FACE OR HEAR YOUR VOICE. I'M SURE YOUR PLAYING BASKETBALL UP THERE. I BET THEY HAD A COURT RESERVED FOR YOU AND NAMED IT "BARRY'S COURT". WE MISS YOU ALWAYS.
LOVE YOUR SISTER MAGGIE, KARL, LEA AND KAVEN
Happy Birthday. I miss you so much. I missed you at basketball this summer.I love you
I went to your gravesite for my first time, after your funeral. So grandma and me picked out stuff for you. It was a sad moment for me even thought I didn’t say happy birthday to you at the gravesite.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BARRY!!
Happy birthday, Barry!
We miss you terribly!
Pray for us and help us get through these rough times!
Carmen, Pepe and Olivia
Barry: I had a mass said for you today (8/17) in honor of your birthday. I love you and miss you! Please send your loving warmth to all those who miss you and cherish you today--your day--my beloved cousin Barry. To Gilda, Gentry, Brenden, Natalie and Pierce--you are each so precious.
To Aunt Colleen and Dick----miss you both, and you're in my prayers.
To my cousins and your families--a million hugs, and tons of love--Love, kate
Happy 49th Birthday Barry!
We will love you forever!
Me and Kaven wish you a Happy Fathers Day. I will miss you and Kaven will too. Kaven will write to you soon but, I 'm write to you now. I love you so much
This is for Barry: A Father is unique, a father has strengths and weaknesses, all are equal, just some harder to face. A father is a hero, a father is a coach in more lessons than just sports, a father takes a smile and stretches it as far as the imagination will allow. So today it is Father's Day and we honor you, not just as a Father as an extraordinary person that each and everyone of us, is a better person because of you.
...And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make!
Happy Father's Day dad. You were a great coach and I wish you could see me play in the All Star game today. I have been playing 1st base the whole season.
I wanted you as my basketball coach, but you can't. I love you dad.
Today is Father's Day and I already know it's gonna be hard. I've just started my basketball season and this coach is DIFFERENT! Basketball will never be the same, and neither will anything else.
I love you more than words could say. Happy Father's Day daddy.
I love you,
I miss my Uncle Barry.
He was a great basketball coach. When he coached Pierce, Kaven and me, we were a great team.
Everytime he wanted a hug he made me laugh.
He was one of my favorite uncle's.
Gentry graduated today...missed you terribly, but sensed your presence there! So many of the graduates you knew and they remembered you. How bitter-sweet these life events are without you! How unpredictable this journey has turned out to be...
Basketball try-outs, baseball games
So much to handle
I'm about to go insane!
It's been three and a half months
It may feel like an eternity or
It may feel like yesterday!
I miss your voice, your scent,
Your habits, your touch,
The familiarity which is for ever lost!
If Heaven exists and souls are alive
Help me, give me strength
Love me from afar!
Barry was Kaven's God Father. Barry found such love in this, everything about it made him sparkle. This coming Sat, April 30th, Kaven is having his 1st Holy Communion. Barry loved this kind of stuff. He would have a smile from ear to ear. We have asked Gilda to step in, in Barry's Honor. Kaven has not lost a God Father he has gained a God Parent. As much as I look forward to my son's 1st Communion, I wish that my brother Barry was there. I know he will be there, looking down upon the entire ceremony, and his warmth and smile we will all feel in that church Sat morning. Once again we will miss you Barry, but we know that you are smiling for all of us.
Our heartfelt thanks to all who share their thoughts and prayers for Barry with all of us in this Guest Book. It is like having conversations with all of you.
Our loving thanks,
Colleen and Dick Stubblefield
To the Stubblefield family,
First of all, I think we are practically related. See, back where my family hails from, in central Illinois, the two main clans are the Funks and the Stubblefields. You go to the cemetery and virtually every other headstone is one family or the other. Barry and I joked about this many times. I'm sure there's been plenty of marriages between the two families...so I'm sure one way or another, we're all distant cousins.
Beyond that, I just want to say how sorry I was to hear of Barry's death. I was part of a squad of guys who played basketball with Barry every Tuesday morning for several years. We also got together once a year for a 2-on-2 tournament at the John Schauerman home in Palos Verdes. It was always great to see Barry there. We all had great times playing a lot of increasingly bad, rickety basketball (except for the younger generation, who were only getting better), sharing a few beers and a lot of food and laughs. I won't forget Barry's smile, his crinkly eyes, and his jump shot. All three were first rate.
I pray that your family is enduring his absence as best as you can. The same week Barry died, a young friend of mine was shot and killed on his 19th birthday, on the streets of south Los Angeles. We're all united in life, but sometimes we only realize it in death. I know that Barry's passing has helped us all to become more centered on the important things in life: our human connections, and the Divine spark that exists in each one of us.
A child of my childhood friend is also, in some way, my child. At a distance I have followed Barry's life, and something is gone from my life now, too. Colleen and Dick, you are in my thoughts and prayer - our faith tells us we will all be together again.
Love and peace,
hey dad gb turned 18 two days ago i wish you were there to see it. but im sure u were there non the less. he also got back from his 3 days ago. he had a good time but didt like villanova and he was accepted into boston collegeand terry is taking him in a week or two
Happy St. Patrick's Day, Barry!!
To the Stubblefields,
Having known Barry for over 35 years, there is one aspect of his open and generous personality that always stood out for me and that was his genuine interest in what was going on in your life. With Barry, you knew he was not just being polite, but that he was really listening and and that he truly cared. To me, that was what Barry was all about - he was someone who honestly cared. It is wonderful to see that this has been passed on to Gentry, Natalie, Brenden and Pierce.
I did not see Barry often, but I will deeply miss our conversations, his great sense of humor and his sincerity.
All my love,
This letter is addressed to Barry:
Somehow I know you are reading this. Life will never be the same without seeing your face or hearing your voice; knowing that you will not be at the next family event. I've signed this guest book a couple times now, but never really addressed you Barry. So this is for you, Barry: I will play scrabble in your honor even if I'm not good at it; I will instill in my children the love of sports and let them choose what is best for them; I will allow my children to experience life and enjoy every single moment; I will remember how blessed I am with family; Barry, I will remember you, your smile; your love of family and most of all I thank you for giving us your wife, Gilda and 4 wonderful kids, Gentry, Brenden, Natalie, & Pierce
Your with God now,
Peace is yours
your loving sister,
Dear Gilda, Gentry, Brenden, Natalie and Pierce,
My heart and soul reach out to you all. And while no words will ever erase the pain of your loss, no day shall pass without being brightened by the memory of such a beautiful man.
Barry was my big-brother at Theta Xi. I loved him like a true brother. He looked out for me, encouraged me, enlightened me and illuminated my world with his smile, his joy for life and his friendship. Though we did not see eachother or speak very often, the echo of his voice will forever empower me, as it shall his family and friends.
"Without invitation, an appointment, an agenda;
Without welcome, warning, forgiveness or mercy;
Without malice, without meaning;
Without another second to spare;
It comes. And it goes. And it takes with it everything that was, everything that is, and everything that will ever be.
Without understanding, the gift that was given with no reason is taken back with less."
With love and my deepest sympathies,
Dear Stubblefield Clan: I'd like to offer my sincere condolences after learning of Barry's sad and untimely passing. I have known Barry and his brothers since I was 10 years old, when we attended St. Francis De Sales elementary school and Notre Dame High School. Although I was better friends with Barry's brother Greg, I recall fondly when all three Stubblefield bros. came over for a poker game.
The most entertaining part of the evening wasn't the poker.. it was Barry constantly haranguing and yelling at Rick and Greg.. and them firing back.. a very amusing display of how close a family they are and of how Rick and Greg really looked up to their big brother.
Last time I saw Barry was about 7 years ago, when both our daughters attended the same pre-school in Valencia. When he found out that I also have four children, he offered some very valuable advice on his own experience raising four children, telling me that you can only really control three at any one given time! It was a very funny observation that I've kept with me all these years.
Very sad to learn of your family's terrible loss. I never got a chance to thank Barry for being an inspiration to me as a father, and I'm sure he touched many other people in the same way.
God Bless you all!
Sincerely, Mark Finnigan
Almost every day I log onto this web site and read the newest message, it's an incredible way to remember Barry and is a real tribute to him and his life. I just read my Aunt Gilda's most recent post. Gilda I have to say, you are one of the strongest and most courageous woman I have ever had the honor of knowing. I can not even imagine the pain and solitude you feel; yet you rise above it and honor Barry with your strength. I just want you to know I truly respect you and am here if you ever need me.
I want to let all of you who have signed Barry's guest book know how grateful my children and I are for all of the outpouring of love and for all of your prayers. We are doing what we need to , in order to
remain strong physically and emotionally. Though the kids miss their father terribly, and are desperate to share with him the events of the day, they find comfort and distraction in their many interests. As for me, January 21, 2005 feels like the last day of "the best years of my life". So please, don't feel like your calls, letters and E-mails are in any way intrusive, for they are the bridge which keep me from falling into an abyss. I love you all and I thank-you!
We would like to express a very special thank you to the Day Family: Tammy, Ray, Andrew and Colleen for their thoughtfulness in extending this Guest Book for the coming year. We cherish your generosity.
Colleen and Richard Stubblefield and Family
Gilda, Gentry, Brenden, Natalie and Pierce: I am so sorry for your loss. It is impossible for me to express my sorrow because it is impossible for me to know your pain. My wife Sheryl and my two daughters, Dani and Monica will continue to keep you in our prayers. My prayer for you is that you live the life that Barry wished for you all.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the 40-or-so Theta Xi brothers at the funeral who encircled Barry, shoulder-to-shoulder and sang a song that we had not sung in over 20 years. We could have rehearsed “Amici” for a month and still our voices would not have been as true. But somehow we all came together, somehow it all worked. Then I realized that in remembering and honoring your dad, he gave his Theta Xi brothers one last gift: he reminded us of our bond of friendship. He reminded us of the importance of keeping and guarding those friendships.
The words we sang that day, we must have sang a hundred times at Theta Xi, but the meaning was never clear to me until now:
Let us raise our voices gladly
With song from every man
Let no note be sounded sadly
At the gathering of the clan
For like brother to brother
We'll stand by one another
With love in all our bosoms
For our dear Theta Xi
We love our colors blue and white
We honor you tonight
Our strong bond can ne'er be broken,
Formed in Theta Xi.
Far surpassing wealth unspoken,
Seal'd by friendship's tie.
Amici usque ad aras,
Deep graven on each heart,
Shall be found unwav'ring true,
When we from life shall part.
You are loved......I am so sorry this happened to Barry, with his heart of gold...please know that he was there for and touched the Early family in the best and the very saddest of times.....I won't forget.
God be with you all and we'll see Barry on the other side.
Love Susan Early
Today is the last day to write in Barry's guest book and it is also my birthday. I just recieved the flowers you sent me, and they are beautiful. It makes me realize how lucky I am to have had you as my teacher. It is not often to come by such an inspiring and influential teacher during high school. You are definitely one of a kind. I thank God that he has granted me with your friendship and has given me the opportunity to get to know your family. I will always remember sitting with your family at all of the football games. Even though you and Barry did not have to invite me to your Thanksgiving dinner with your close friends, you did. I had so much fun that night. I honestly felt like I was part of your family. I got to sit next to Barry at dinner and listen to all the guys stories about UCLA. I will never forget that night. I am sad that I did not get to spend more time with Barry, but I am thankful for the moments I did share. There is not a moment that has gone by that I haven't thought about you guys. You are always in my heart and prayers. Gilda, Gentry, Brenden, Natalie, and Pierce I love you guys so much and I will always be here if you need me. Stay Strong. Love Sarah Mac
Dearest Gilda and Family
Words can not express the deep sense of sorrow and loss we feel for you and the kids.
Those of us who knew Barry agree that he was "just one of those great guys who knew to be a good friend, you had to be good friend". He just has that quality about him that made all around comfortable and welcome.
I hope these brief genuine testomonials from his good friends bring a warm smile to your face, let his kids know what a unique guy he was and that Barry made a difference and had a positive impact in every life he touched. This is the true mark of a special person.
Our thoughts, prayers and love are with you and the kids at this difficult time.
The Stubblefield family and my family crossed paths throughout the years starting with St. Francis de Sales(Barry trained my brother to become a altar boy), Notre Dame High School and UCLA.
My father was grateful that Barry's parents attended my mother's funeral in January 2004.
Barry was a wonderful influence to all the brothers at Theta Xi.He shared his friendship with all of us equally, and I am grateful that he took that one year sabatical in Reno/Tahoe because I was able to get to know him.
Gilda and family, I hope that the love and support has given you comfort, and I know that Barry is in all of hearts and he is watching over us from heaven.
Hope and pray that you and your family will always remember what a great person shared his life with you. Continue to pray that you will take comfort that Barry will always remain in your hearts.
If Tomorrow starts without me....
If tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name, and took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready, in heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind, all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you, and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized, that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past, But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
And since each day's the same way, there's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful, so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things, you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven, and now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart.
For every time you think of me, I'm right here in your heart.
Denise Stubblefield Mantonya
What a dream I had
Pressed in organdy
Clothed in crinoline
Of smoky burgundy
Softer than the rain
I wandered empty streets
Down past the shop displays
I heard cathedral bells
Tripping down the alleyways
As I walked on
And when you ran to me
Your cheeks flushed with the night
We walked on frosted fields
Of juniper and lamplight
I held your hand
And when I awoke
And felt you warm and near
I kissed your honey hair
With my grateful tears
Oh I love you girl
Oh I love you
Barry was a big influence during my early college days. He helped me thru some of the stress you feel as a college freshman on a huge campus. He never discriminated when it came to comforting and helping people. As a matter of fact, he offered more help to those who really needed it. His big heart will live on forever. I'm so grateful to have known him. All my love and sympathy to Gilda and the family. Love, Jeff Campbell (AZ 702)
Gilda and the Stubblefield Family,
Words could never adequately express how Barry positively influenced the lives of so many. The best tribute I can point to is the vast number of people who knew and loved Barry that turned out to celebrate Barry's life. I am proud and fortunate to have known and loved Barry. He will be missed, but, thankfully, will live on in all of our hearts and memories.
All organizations, including fraternities, have that handful of special individuals that rise to the top. They possess charisma, vision, empathy, commitment and loyalty. Brother Barry possessed all of these attributes and more. His presence and active participation clearly made an immeasurable impact on the resurgence and ensuing success of the Alpha Zeta Chapter of Theta Xi at UCLA. I will miss his competitive fire on the basketball court and his love for making others around him better. Gilda and family, I know that I speak for all Theta Xi's when conveying how badly we will miss Barry. Our prayers are with you.
Gilda & Family
I'm still in shock over the news of Barry's passing. While it has been at least 5 years since I'd seen Barry, it seems like just yesterday. He had that presence about him, be it on the basketball court, at a football game or just sitting around the fraternity telling stories. He was living proof that the best you can do in this world is make it better for someoneelse. Barry clearly did that for countless friends. We will all miss him. God bless you and your family.
Eugene Putnam & Family
Gilda and Family,
It's been too many years since I've seen or spoken with Barry, but I was deeply saddened to hear of his passing. I have many fond memories of him (Theta Xi, Advanced Accounting, etc.). He was a wonderful guy, and clearly, he was a wonderful husband, father, and friend as well. He profoundly touched the lives of many, he left the world a better place than he found it, and he will truly be missed.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
With Deepest Sympathy,
Gilda and Family,
We were deeply saddened by the news and our prayers and thoughts go out to you and your family. We are deeply sorry for your loss.
In college, barry was the bigger than life big brother who had a gusto for life that was admired by many. He will be missed.
Rick Telles AZ804
& Benita Marti
Barry took me to Mt. Waterman when I was a senior at UCLA. He introduced me to the mountain. I skied down the face, and knew where his passion for the mountain came from. I knew him as a brother in the bonds of Theta Xi. I knew him as a great business man. He is well remembered by all.
Gilda and Family –
Barry Stubblefield will be sorely missed by everyone who had a chance to know him!
From the 1st moment I met Barry at the Fraternity, he took me to be a friend – I new at that time I had met a special person.
At UCLA we had many good times together and he taught me many things. I always admired his positive attitude, leadership, enjoyed his friendship and loved his great humor. He was a tenacious competitor in everything (Basketball – he loved that game), and a great teacher to me (he regularly reminded me that it is tough to score if you don’t take a shot).
I felt (feel) very lucky to have attended Barry & Gilda’s lovely wedding. Over the last few years I only spoke with Barry once or twice a year – But I was so impressed with the way he honored and loved his family!
Our family’s prayers are with you - The Graham’s – Sacramento, Calif.
Jeff Graham (AZ 807), Theresa, Mitch & Lillie
There is an old German proverb that says, "The death of a friend is equivalent to the loss of a limb." There are really no words to describe the emptiness you feel inside with the parting of such a good man and friend. It is truly like losing a limb and Barry's passing diminishes us all. But I will tell you I am richer for knowing Barry and to have the privilege of calling him a friend.
I first met Barry over 20 years ago while attending UCLA. I had just pledged Theta Xi fraternity and thought I knew all the brothers in the house. One day, a new face started to frequent the house, one that all the older brothers gravitated to with warm regard and admiration.
I later learned who the new face was and that Barry had been a past president of the house and had taken time off from school. I am fortunate he did take that year off because it allowed me to get to know Barry.
Many friendships take time to develop and work to maintain. Barry was one of those unique individuals with an infectious personality that invites friendship and once obtained holds it dear and never relinquishes that bond.
Although our friendship was formed in college, Barry was able to renew that bond each time I saw him afterwards, even though it was sporadic. Barry's favorite stories during those times were about his family. With a cigar in one hand, a light in his eye and a smile upon his face, he would proudly recount the experiences of his family, but he always had time to also remind me of college and his gratitude for letting him borrow my car for his dates with Gilda. Truth be told, letting Barry borrow my car is a small expense for the friendship and loyalty Barry always invested in me and his friends.
A person is always measured by the friends he keeps and how well he keeps them. Toward that end, Barry always kept his friends close even if years passed since he last saw them. Barry was always genuinely happy to see you and interested in your well-being.
I will always remember my friend, Barry Stubblefield, the richest man I have known.
Gilda and family,
We were deeply saddened to here of Barry's death. Getting to know him, yourself, and your family through our mutual friends within Theta Xi, it was easy to see just how special he was and all of you are.
I was able to attended the funeral services and wanted to say how special you and all of your family were for the euologies and thoughts / comments you shared about Barry. It was a beautiful service and based on the number of people in attendance, he will be deeply missed.
Sincerely, Jay Engle and family
This letter is for Gilda, Gentry, Brenden, Natalie & Pierce:
If ever there was 5 people that brought inspiration to people, it would be you guys. The strength and character that you guys have, is wonderous. The ability to see good in all, no matter the circumstances, this is you guys. If only we could all be as strong as you. To love without any conditions, to see life in a different way, and to live life as though Barry did, makes a smile come across to those of us who are sadden by his loss.
To Remember You Just Has
The Way We Knew You.
With Every Passing Moment
Your Smile Shone Through
The Vines of Life.
You Showed Us That Coaching
Was Just a Way
Of Letting Us Know
How To Be The Best That We Can Be.
You Embraced Everyone
With A Sense Of Family & Friendship
That With A Twinkle of Your Eye & Rubbing of Your Hands,
We All Learned to Love Life More because of You.
You Saw that through the Eyes Of A Child
Love Has No Limits,
Love is Kind.
And With This In Mind
You Gave Us Your Love
Without Limits, Without Conditions
Just Pure Love
For This, We Have Learned
What Love Truly Means.
Take Flight My Brother, My Friend
God Is With You Know.
You Are Now Our Angel
And Will Forever Be Watching Over All Of Us
To My Dear and Loving Husband
- a poem by Anne Bradstreet
If ever two were one then surely we,
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife were happy in a man, Compare with me,
ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold
Or all the riches that East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers can not quench,
Nor aught but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay,
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so perservere
That when we live no more, we may live ever.
I love you Barry! I always will! Happy Valentine's Day...our fist apart in 25 years.
A Poem to my Beloved Uncle and Godfather
I lost an uncle and I don't know why
it seems like time just passes right by
But I know with God's great will
though it has not hit me, still
he will feel our bond of love and watch us closely from above.
I remember how he laughed out loud
and when he did I felt so proud
he bought me gifts like Easter hats
and taught me how to swing a bat
How he rubbed his hands and yelled Woohoo
my love for him just grew and grew
I lost a godfather and I don't know why
It seems like time just passed right by
but I know with God's great will thought it has not hit me, still
he will feel our bond of love and watch us closely from above
I wish he was still here with us
standing here today
but instead for mourning for our dear friends death, he would want us all to play
The day has come for us to say good bye
we all love him forever and we know his soul won't die
I love you uncle Barry!!!
Living is San Diego we had the opportunity to visit the Stubblefield clan a few times a year. We always looked forward to seeing everyone, catching up on old times, and watching the children grow up. Though we were saddened by the loss of Barry the funeral and reception after was a wonderful and uplifting. I met people from Barry's life that had great things to say about him. I never realized that he had made such an impact on so many over the years. He left a mark on the world and others that will never be forgotten. Thank you for being my cousin.
I write mainly for myself as Barry’s cousin, but also for my family as we extend our most sincere condolences to the entire Stubblefield family and all those that knew Barry. We may not have been able to see him as often as we would have liked to, but I truly enjoyed, and remember all the times we were able to share. I remember celebrating on New Years eve in 1968 by shaking cans of pop and spraying them in the kitchen while the parents were out, and how could I forget the icy swim in the pool that same visit. When on business in Cincinnati, Barry drove two hours out of his way just to spend a few hours with my family. Most of all, I’m glad we had the chance to see him recently at the family reunion in August of 2003. At the hotel, Barry and I spent hours talking and catching up on old times while the kids played down at the pool. These are all memories I will cherish forever.
To Aunt Colleen & Uncle Dick - How proud you must be of Barry and his success as businessman, husband, father and son.
Denise, Rick, Greg, Maggie & Molly - You were all very lucky to have had such a fun and selfless person for a brother.
Gilda, Brenden, Gentry, Pierce & Natalie - Barry was a very loving and devoted husband father and coach.
To all, I wish we could have been there for you. We will all miss Barry, and our thoughts are with you daily.
Dear Gilda and Family,
We did not meet Barry but spoke with him often. We admired his professionalism and calm confidence. A pleasure to work with and a shock to lose, he will be missed. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
With our deepest sympathies...
Doug & Linda Proudfit
These are the words I said about Barry at his graveside service. I will truely miss him.
My Friend Barry Stubblefield
I would like to say how much of an honor it is for me to be asked to say a few words about Barry. I am honored to be included with his father and two brothers because Barry was like a brother to me. More to the point, the Stubblefields always made me feel like I was a brother to Barry. And I am honored not just because Barry was my closest friend, but that he considered me to be one of his closest friends.
It was something special that brought a skinny dark haired kid (comedian) from a small desert town together with a fair skinned blonde kid (Preppie) from a private school in the Valley. Our bond was instantaneous and everlasting. For almost thirty years, I have benefited from his friendship. In the early years we were fraternity brothers, team mates and room mates. We spent every day together. (Barry and Terry/Terry and Barry) Over the years, our careers, families and life’s business drew us apart in miles. It is very hard to convey how your best friend would be someone you saw only once or twice a year, but I will tell you that over time our relationship never changed. We would pick up right where we left off whether it was the day before or a year ago.
Over the years, I learned a lot from Barry. I learned from his advice and I learned at his expense. On his advice I made decisions regarding school, career opportunities and the like. At his expense I learned that white men should never have their hair permed into an afro. Barry taught me to drive a stick shift in his TR6 on the top of the parking structure across from our frat house. I later wrecked that car but not our friendship.
Barry taught me to ski. I remember it was at Lake Tahoe, the first Christmas after I met him. We went up to a cabin his parents had rented. I had never expressed an interest in skiing to Barry at all. I grew up in the desert and had never been on skis, never been to a ski resort and didn’t know the terminology. I never really had seen snow on an inclined surface. When Barry took me up the lift, he hopped off the lift (I fell off the lift) and he skied effortlessly to about twenty yards below. As I stood at the top, he yelled up to me, “Snowplow” and I looked around for a piece of heavy equipment. When I look back, it wasn’t about skiing at all. The reason I was included in that Tahoe trip was because I wasn’t going home for Christmas and Barry wanted me to be with family during the holidays.
Lest you begin to think that our friendship was one sided, I would like to mention that I got Barry the part time job at UCLA where he met Gilda, the love of his life. I also provided him with countless mentoring and advice about men’s fashion, dance rhythm and the fundamentals of rebounding.
Barry has a straight forwardness about him. It didn’t take you long to learn that he was about loyalty, commitment, tradition and that is what made him a true friend. Barry had many close friends, not acquaintances from work or someone who shared a common hobby, but real friends. If you look around you will see many people who, like me, where lucky enough to be one of the people Barry cared about. And if Barry accepted you as a friend, he would stick by you. The more you needed him the closer he was for you. His luckiest friends were made to feel like brothers. And his brothers were the luckiest for they knew Barry the longest. Through them and the rest of us who benefited from his friendship, he will live on.
My oldest half sister who is battling terminal cancer sent me an email on Saturday after Barry passed away. The email had a prayer in it that I’d like to repeat. I only changed a couple of words.
I asked God for water and he gave me an ocean.
I asked God for shade and he gave me a forest
I asked God for a flower and he gave me a garden
I asked God for a friend and he gave me Barry Stubblefield
If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.
God brought Barry to all of us and I am honored to be his friend.
To the entire Stubblefield clan:
Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. Barry was such a special person. Even as a child (and certainly as a man) he would light up a room with his joy and enthusiasm. Barry always went out of his way to make each person feel important. He will be greatly missed.
There are countless instances of Barry's thoughtfulness. There are a few we wanted to make special note of. When we flew out for Barry and Gilda's wedding, they met us at the airport. What a sweet and thoughtful thing for both of them to do at such a busy time. When Barry was in Cincinnati on business, he and his friend took the time to drive a couple of hours to come and visit us and have dinner with us. What a great time we had. Then they drove the 2 hours back to Cincinnati. Lastly, every single time we came to visit in CA, Barry and Gilda would take the time to come and see us, laugh and visit with us. How very thoughtful they are.
We love all of you very much.
Aunt Patti and Uncle Dave Henderson
I am so very proud to have known Berry Stubblefield and call him "my cousin". He always made his cousins (Early's) feel so special and loved. He stopped by many times just to say "hello" or have a "game of basketball" with broher Dan, when traveling through Portland or Seattle and was probably very busy. After hearing how imporant "Family" is to Barry, it made a lot of sense, becase he has also been there for his aunts, uncles and even cousins. What a truly wonderful man. We charished and loved him soo! Our hearts go out to all of the Stubblefields, because life is not the same when "one of your soldiers are down or missing," as Aunt Colleen
told me. Our hearts go out to all of you. Love, (cousin) Jennifer and all the Early's. x x o o
To Family and Friends:
For those of you who are not familiar with Barry's college fraternity - Theta Xi - there was a numbering system for each chapter member. Those of us in the 800 and above AZ number range (slightly younger than Barry) remember him as a great man and an impressive alumni. He was someone we could look up to when we were just boys entering college and needed a role model exemplifying what it was to be a responsible, intelligent, amiable and most of all respected man and brother.
His demeanor and intellect left a lasting impression even over the many years it has been since I last saw him.
My condolences to what I am sure is a deeply grieving family.
Michael Gruener - AZ 840
I have just recieved word of Brother Stubblefield's death. He was several years behind me at UCLA and I only met him once. What I can say about him is that he was an integral part of making Theat XI what it is today.
On a more personal note, as a Christian my prayers go out to his family and friends. What I have read and heard about him shows that he made the world a much better place Mike House AZ624
To the family and friends of Barry,
It's been a week since attending the funeral, gravesite ceremony, and the family gathering. I feel compelled to state it was one of the most beautiful celebrations of both Barry's life and those left behind imaginable. Thank you to all and special appreciation to Gilda, Pepe, Molly, Maggie, Rick, Greg, and Gentry. The continuation without Barry will be a challenge for you. My love and support in anyway to you all will always be there.
Barry left many gifts to his friends and I'd like to relate three that strongly affected me.
He was the first person I met in college who clearly had a 'this is me, take it or leave it' philosophy that we all loved about him and have perhaps learned for our own lives.
As a diabetic, he always seemed to have an awareness of his own mortality which fueled his remarkable passion for life and limitless possibilities.
I take care of diabetic patients as an ophthalmologist/retinal specialist. After I heard the news of Barry and I was with young diabetic patients the next week, I realized how much of my enthusiasm for teaching them all the possibilities in life came from Barry's friendship and optimism. His example has served as a coach to many people who he never met.
Thank you Barry,
Barry and I were in the same pledge
class at Theta Xi, which was in the
Fall of 1975. He and I played in a
number of pick-up basketball games
and I will always remember how he
would blow his hair right above his
nose in the center of his head...!
That always cracked me up!
Also, in our years at UCLA, we went
on several trips together and we
always had a great time! I will
leave it at that...
I remember going over to the Stubblefield's house, eating, and
just generally hanging out. I clearly remember Rick, Greg, and
little Maggie. I always had fun when I went and the family always
treated very nicely.
Barry is with the Lord now and I am
sure that he is giving Him an ear
full, just as that was his way in
this life!! He was, and is, a very
good man. By definition, Heaven is
a perfect place, however, it is now
a bit better and a great deal livelier....!!
Barry was a fraternity borther who I first met on a road trip from UCLA to Reno. He was taking a hiatus from UCLA with Terry Galloway and a couple of Theta Xi's made the trip and showed up completely unannounced on Barry & Terry's doorstep one night. I remember how accomodating Barry was and how we spent the night partying and getting to know each other.
As the years passed, more memories spring forth_ happy days at Theta Xi and UCLA, the night Barry popped the question to Gilda, running into Barry at a restaurant years later, catching up at Theta Xi reunions.
The common thread through it all has been Barry's incredible gift for making people feel comfortable being around him.
I know he will be missed by all who were fortunate enough to know him.
You know everytime I hear the song "Happy Together" by the Turtles I think of you, and Denise, and Rick. It was New Year's Eve 1968. My family was visiting your family in Sherman Oaks. The "grown-ups" had gone out for the evening and left us in charge. We kept playing Denise's new album (Turtles) and my new album (Gary Lewis and the playboys) over and over. Eventually, of course, there was the Pepsi incident....when we sprayed Pepsi everywhere in the kitchen, pretending we were opening champagne, ala Time Square>>>Happy together...we were all always happy to be together....and our hearts miss you so much....I am grateful for the memories, and I wish we had had more time. I am thankful to be one of your many loving cousins. Love, your cousin,
My heart is so broken, all I have left are wonderful memories we had together. Thank you for being my brother and friend. Thank you for being a wonderful brother-in-law and uncle.
Some of my memories…..remember the VW Bugs, you got the orange, I got the beige one, remember how excited we were when Mom and Dad brought them home. When Kate and I cam to the fraternity to have dinner you were so proud to introduce us both. I remember you walking down the UCLA hospital corridor when Geoff was born, you were dressed to the nines and had a stuffed Daffy Duck sticking out under your arm, I still have that Daffy Duck. I remember the games of football, baseball and soccer in Mom and Dad’s front yard with all the kids, you made them all feel they were number one. I remember watching you and Rick sitting in the cigar corner talking and smoking. There are so many many more stories that I will always remember.
Barry, you are truly missed; I will never be able to call you on your birthday to wish you well. I will miss the Scrabble games and so much more….But most of all I will miss you, thank you for being a wonderful brother, you will always be in my heart.
Love, Sis (Denise), Rick, Geoff and Riley
Today we buried a brother,
For me not in blood but in spirit,
For some a fraternal brother, not in blood but in hearts,
To five, a lifetime bond, a brother parts.
Today we buried a daddy, husband, friend, and son.
And from all of those gathered, a most beloved one.
Today was buried a brother,
Up in heaven he'll await,
Hearing any prayers we send,
Just beyond the pearly gates,
Just to hear from his old friends.
Today was buried a brother, daddy, son
Dear Gilda & Family, Dear Stubblefields & Family; Barry's love for family, optimism, strength, and zest for life, have put him as the leader for others to guide their lives and learn from. His ability to inspire and reach out to everyone that was fortunate enough to know him, is a gift that I learned from him and will continue sowing that seed. Peace and Love to all of you, God Bless, Daniel J. Early
To Gilda and the kids: I am so sorry for your great loss. The few times I have seen Barry, most recently in September 2004, I can say I always remember him smiling. The one thing that I can say that I didn't think to say the day I spoke to you over the phone is that if anything good has come of this tragic loss, is that I think his unexpected passing has touched so many lives...I know for us, it was a reminder to cherish every moment with your loved ones, and live life as if it were your last day on this earth, because you just never know when your time is up. If that notion crossed the minds of even half the people who have been touched by Barry's sudden passing, then that is yet another powerful legacy he has left behind for you and the children to be proud of someday.
You are all in our prayers and in our thoughts. God Bless You all and help you through these tough times.
Tim and I will miss Barry soooooo much! The first time I met Barry was at Aunt Colleen's house. We had come to southern CA for a spring break vacation with our boys. Aunt Colleen called the whole family to come over and hang out with us for a bit. It had been many years since Tim had seen them all after spending some of his 16th summer at Aunt Colleen's. What a great time! I shook Barry's hand and immediately knew I was in the presence of a truly nice, great guy. Tim said that, too, just the other day when we heard the news. That's also the impression I got each time we got to see Barry and Gilda--a devoted couple, fabulous family, and, above all, so much love. As a side note: I always referred to Barry as "the one who looks like Tom Skerritt from Top Gun and Picket Fences." Anyhow, my last memory of Barry is him toasting his parents in September 2004 for their 50th anniversary. He was engaging, funny, and the love for his parents was written all over his face. He helped make the event so special and I'll carry that with me forever.
Our hearts go out to you and the kids, Gilda. As you said, Time is against us all so the next time we see you (soon, I hope), let's make it a wonderful slice of time as we always do!
To Barry: We love you and will sorely miss you. The world has lost a truly great guy...
All of our love,
Tim and Donna Early
Gilda, Brenden, Gentry, Pierce & Natalie, & the entire Rodriguez family,
I know that we have only met infrequently, but my friendship with Carmen makes me feel as if I know you all. I would like to extend my deepest sympathies to you all. It breaks my heart to think of you facing yet another tragedy. My prayers and good wishes go out to you all as you go through this and the other trials facing your family. With deepest sympathy,
Dear Gilda, Gentry, Brenden,Natalie, Pierce, Colleen, Dick, and all my beloved cousins:
I am so sorry about your (and my)loss....I think the world of Barry and all of you. I have known and loved Barry his whole life. I always have admired his joy and zest for life, his loyalty and constancy...his humor and intelligence. His total and unconditional acceptance and love. In joy and sorrow, good times and bad, he has always been there for me, and for everyone else he knows. I am so grateful to have had the chance to see him, laugh with him, reminisce with him and dance with him in September. Stay strong, and when you cannot, I am here for you. I love and cherish everyone of you more than it is possible to put into words. Love always, Kate
Gilda... I loved Barry like a brother. I met Barry at Theta Xi and we became best of friends. Through the years our families grew very close and we shared many fun and exciting times. I was truly lucky to have met Barry and had the chance to do so many things with him. Kathy and I plan to keep our families close and we look forward to supporting you in any way needed. Love always.
Gilda, I'm so sorry you and your family have had to suffer through this terrible time. I can only hope that as time passes by you can find peace and happiness and continue to live your life to the fullest for yourself and for your children. Know that we are praying for you and your children here in Miami and that we wish you the best.
This is a letter to my husband.
My darling Barry,
It seems that time has been both our friend, as well as, our enemy. It was good timing which brought us together at UCLA, considering I was a 4 year Senior and you were on the 6 year plan! In a short time we were married and after 23 years, we were still going strong. And they said it would not last! I think a few fraternity brothers were placing bets on how soon we would divorce! I guess we fooled them all!
Again time played an integral part in our lives when you began working in accounting and had to spend, what seemed like endless hours at the office! But no matter what, you always figured out how to spend time with me and later on with our son, Gentry.
As the other children started arriving, ( Brenden , Natalie and Pierce), there was nothing you cherished more than the time you spent with us…coaching or rough-housing with the kids and just watching sports or movies at home.
Regardless of the time demands of your work, you were able to teach your children well. You were proud of them and found joy in their individuality.
Now you have been taken from us prematurely. We had just started talking about how we would celebrate, in a couple of years, both your 50th Birthday and our 25th Wedding Anniversary. A party was a must, but so was a trip to London, Dublin, Madrid and Paris. However, time has dictated that I must carry on without you!
I promise you that I will turn the children you were so proud of, into 3 decent loving men and one great woman.
And, although visiting Paris, Madrid and the British Isles without you will be bitter-sweet, your children and I will make the trip and we will carry you in our hearts where ever we go!
In addition, just as you wore your wedding ring for 23 years, it is now time for me to wear it close to my heart for the next 23.
Our hearts are broken…but the say, time will heal the pain.
Hold Spencer tightly in Heaven…kiss him for me!
In time, I will rest next to you on this earth & our souls will be together for eternity in Heaven…
….You were their one and only dad and my one and only love.
All my love…your bride
My dad was a great person! He would always make me laugh when we were messing around. My dad was a great coach in sports and I liked it when he coached my teams with me and my cousins in basketball. I miss my dad very much and I wish he was back.I miss going to the carwash with him after my games. I miss all of us sitting together watching UCLA games at home.
I met Barry when I was almost 11 yrs. old when my sister, Gilda, started dating him. From that moment on, he always treated me like his little sister from helping me with homework, teaching me to play backgammon, helping me write my speech for 8th grade student council elections, to visiting me in the hospital (by himself!) after my surgeries when I was much older. I have so many fond memories of the times when Barry and Gilda would let me tag along with them to UCLA football and basketball games, movies, restaurants, trips to the mountains or Palm Springs, and so much more. He was a great big brother and I will always love and miss him.
He was a great uncle, too. My daughter who's 3 yrs. old already asked me where her Uncle Barry was. I told her he's up in heaven holding her cousin, Spencer's hand.
I WAS SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LOSS, PLEASE KNOW OUR THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IN THIS VERY TOUGH TIME. IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK JUST KNOW "THE BENCH" IS ALWAYS OPEN. MUCH LOVE LORI MAC AND ELDINA
I miss you I always think of you when I heard of it my heart broke a part. Every time I think of you my heart falls a part. Jan. 16, 05 is the last time I say you. Like 300 people were at the funeral. I'am going to put a picture of you in my locker so I wont forget you. I never knew about your full name Barry Richard Stubblefield. Your funeral was very beautiful, I will always keep you in my memory.
When he walked into the room, that's when the party started. Barry was a treasure in our lives and has been for over 40 years. In a world that sometimes seems to be filled with selfishness, Barry stood out because of his ability to reach out to everyone with love and acceptance. I thank God for his wonderful life and that he was part of mine.
Our thoughts and prayers are with the Stubblefield family. Through Gentry, we know of Barry's passion for life and dedication to his family. He will be greatly remembered.
Stephen Burch, Lisa Burch, Jacob and Gabriel
Barry was such a wonderful father and husband. He was so devoted to his whole family. He was always smiling and ready to talk about his love for his family. He seemed to always love life. I will miss him very much.
Dear Family and Friends,
I am crushed that Barry is no longer with us. He was my fraternity president when I was a pledge. I looked up to him like a big brother. I am in shock and in mourning.
Our condolences go out to all who experienced this loss. We saw and spoke with Barry and his family numerous times each year, and it was always a pleasure. He will be missed by all who had the opportunity to enjoy his company. Gatherings will be different without his presence. May God bless each of us and may we understand that this is most difficult for those of us left without him here. Tom, Jean, Amy, Devin and Mollie
I only knew Barry thru Molly and Maggie whom I am very close to. My heart felt sorrow goes out to the whole Stubblefield family. Molly and Maggie, please know my heart, thoguhts, and prayers are with you. Much Love, Brian Koehn, Gina, Kimberlee, Natalee, and Troy
My fondest memory of Barry is when he would tease Lily and I about throwing us in the pool. He would always talk about his kids and how proud he was of them. My sympathy is with Gilda, Gentry, Brenden, Natalie and Pierce. Barry and all of you will be in my prayers.
Hearing the unexpected news of Barry on the 24th, Monday, crushed my heart into pieces. I was looking forward to seing his happy face asking me if I played golf this weekend, and looking forward to letting him know that we had tee time placed on Thursday with other competitive players.
I am really lost for words about this loss and especially someone that made an impact to my life. I looked forward to every Wednesday, when the weather was good, to play golf with Barry and other co-workers at the El Toro golf course. We’d be out there hitting good shots and bad shots throughout the whole course. The best thing about all this, is what I learned from Barry of how he handle his life. “Take what’s given to you and make the best out it.”
Barry’s spirit will be missed, his squinty eyes, his walk, his sense of humor, and especially his laughter. I am so grateful to have known him and knowing him has made me a better man to myself and a better man to others.
Thank you B, you will be missed.
Barry was an extraordinary brother, brother-in-law, uncle and godfather. His love of family and friendship was inspirational and unconditional. We will miss him dearly. Love Maggie, Karl, Lea and Kaven Breckner
We saw you last on Mother's Day at our niece/nephew's home...Lynda and Greg...You and your beloved family gave life to the celebration...Now your life is being celebrated in another way. We pray with our Mother Mary, as we look at "the Pieta"...to ask for God's compassionate love to cover your family, friends, and all who love you. Pray for us too.
If we could only turn back the hands of time.My heart goes out to Barrys children,wife,family,friends,and loved ones.Barry was a man of the mountain and had a fondness for the wildlife as well.Everything from the "Buck" mule deer that took a bite out of his new BMW and the hungry black bear that held him at bay one evening -to....Mike and Todd.(just kidding guys.)I do know that Barry is a good man whose funny and ballsy at times...and that's some of the attributes that I like about him.It's been a pleasure knowing you for the short time that I have Barry.---peace
Was able to know Barry through basketball and he was a great guy and dedicated family man. Our thoughts and prayers are with Gilda and the rest of the family.
I was with Barry Friday, 1/21/05 at Mt. Waterman. On the way to the mountain that morning we spoke mostley of family. He talked of his beautiful wife Gilda and how she was the anchor of the family. His children Gentry, Brenden, Natalie and Pierce. He was so pround of them and their accomplishments. Gentry, graduating from high school and persueing a college education. Brenden and his toughness. Natlie actively involved in soccer and school. Pierce playing his first competetive basketball game and in the soccer playoff tournament. Barry was the consumate family man. "Vintage Barry" is the only way I can describe Barry that day. Gregarious, talkative, inspired and optomistic. He remarked how at peace he felt when he was at the mountain. Gentry and Brenden accompanied us on recent trips to bring the caretakers on the mountain supplies and can atest to the way their Dad looked forward to these trips. The terrible accident that took place that day took a son, husband, father, brother, friend and collegue from our midst in a blink of an eye. He did not suffer, and died in a place that he loved, surrounded by friends who desperatley tried to save him. He will be sorrly missed by everyone who knew him. Rest In Peace Barry.
Barry and I attended Notre Dame High (Class '74) school together and though we only had limited contact, I appreciated his good spirit and his enthusiasm. He always had a smile. My prayers are with his wife and family. May our Lord's peace be upon them all.
Barry was a rare and wonderful soul.
And the only man on earth who could actually convince me to go to a party dressed as a cow!
My prayers are with all of you.
I loved Barry. I always will.
Dear Gilda, I'm so sorry to hear About Barry.Last time I saw him and met you was at another classmates funeral, Pete Heinrich.I wish I could make it to the rosary. My prayers are with you and yours. Sincerely, Rosemary Campbell White, Class of '70, St. Francis de Sales.
We will miss Barry, he was a great guy and friend. He always made us feel welcome and at home. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the entire Stubblefield family. We are so sorry for your loss.
God Bless you all.
Love, Ray, Tammy, Andrew and Colleen Day
To my co-worker Barry, For the short time that I knew you, I am pround that you were a co worker and friend. I Hope they have good cigars where you are now.
Remembered Joy (Irish funeral blessing)
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free!
I follow the plan God laid for me.
I saw His face, I heard His call,
I took His hand and left it all...
I could not stay another day,
To love, to laugh, to work or play;
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
And if my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss...
Ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss.
My life's been full, I've savoured much:
Good times, good friends, a loved-one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief—
Don't shorten yours with undue grief.
Be not burdened with tears of sorrow,
Enjoy the sunshine of the morrow.
Please know that we are sending our prayers to your entire family during this most difficult time.
Barry was a dreamer and lived each day to the max. We will miss him terribly.
Juliana and I will miss our uncle Barry. When I was a little girl he was the one that taught me to try new things and try not to be scared. He will be missed and always remembered.
May you find peace in knowing that we are here for you especially during this most difficult time. We send our love, our prayers and our strength to each of you. God Bless. Love, The Robert Cole Family
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family. We are so sorry for your lose.
Greg, Lisa, Justin, Ashley, and Dylan.
Our heartfelt condolences go out to the entire Stubblefield family. We knew of Barry and his family only through Greg and my cousin, Linda Stubblefield. At our family get togethers, Greg and Linda shared wonderful stories of Barry and because of this we will cherish these memories! As neighbors of Gilda, Gentry, Brenden, Natalie and Pierce our family will always be there for love and support.
Sincerely, Tom, Karen, Kristina and Kevin Cole