Tomorrow is Christmas, tomorrow is another first we will endure without you. I know thoughts of you will constantly cross my mind on Christmas Day, because a day does not go by that you are not in my thoughts, and memories of you flood my heart and soul every day.
I find myself making a selfish Christmas wish, wanting and desiring you to be here, and not in Heaven. Wishing you was spending not only Christmas day with us but also every day. That is a selfish and self-centered wish because you are in Heaven, and what a joyous and wonderful way it must be to spend Christmas. You are in Heaven and free of pain and suffering. So, how can I be so selfish as to want you back on this earth? I guess it is because I miss you more than I ever thought was possible.
Honey, as Christmas Day comes to an end tomorrow, I will have shed many tears because of missing you, and wishing you, was here with us. Sorrow and unhappiness will creep into the very depths of my heart and soul because of missing you and wishing you were here. Plus, as the evening comes to an end, and I find myself alone, more tears will flow down my cheeks because every night since you left, tears have moistened my cheeks. These tears signify how lost I am without you, how much I wish you were here, and how much I miss and love you. Tears that will fall on Christmas Day are no different than the tears that flow every day. For these tears come because of the memory of you, the memory of the love we shared, the memory of the life we shared, and the memory of how happy we were. These tears come because precious memories of you flood my heart and soul, memories of a time when I felt complete because I was with my true love, my best friend, my husband. Those times were filled with happiness; but, now the contentment, joy, and happiness that thrived in my heart and soul is replaced with loneliness, sadness, and unhappiness because of the void your absence has created within my heart.
Even so, as Christmas Day emerges as today fades away, there is a flicker of hope that grows, because as we celebrate Christmas Day, we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, a birth that has given us hope, and it is this hope birthed on Christmas Day, that gives me the reassurance that I will see you again. When that day comes, I will no longer be missing you, I will no longer shed tears of sorrow, because we will once again look upon each other's face with the realization we will never be apart again. So, until that day, Honey, save that special dance for me!
Finally, my sweet husband, as you celebrate your first Christmas in Heaven, I wish you a Merry Christmas, and may you dance with the angels, run and play with our pups, and most of all, celebrate Christ's birth in a way that we on earth cannot even begin to grasp or fathom.
Forever missing and loving you!