How fortunate it was and is for Dale to have been a vital part of my life. The Millman girls, Dale and Doris, had a zest for life that infected family, friends and all they, and will be a positive influence on so many for generations.
I will miss your sense of humor and all the fun times we had with you and Nitza/Lisa. You never let anything get in the way of having a great time with your daughter. You were truly a special woman who lived life on your own terms to the very end.
I will miss you
Thank you for all of the Mother day luncheons, the Thanksgiving feasts and the friendship we shared. I can't tell you how lucky I am to have had you and Doris in my life. You are my family and I both celebrate the gift of your loving support and mourn your passing.
Dale, why is it that people make jokes about mother-in-laws? In my experience as her only son-in-law, the jokes did not make sense, were not funny and for sure did not apply to you. I welcomed you when you arrived in our home and looked forward to many more visits in the future. Your desire to live life to the fullest inspired me. I was not ready when you decided your life was full enough. Harry and Dale both gone in the same year. How can this be? You will be missed by all of us.
Dale was a wonderful friend to my parents. When Harry was critically ill in the hospital this past summer, she took the time to visit my mother who was ill in the same hospital at the same time. It was so much fun talking to Dale as she always had humorous stories that made me laugh. I will miss seeing her when I am in Los Angeles.
Dale has been a part of my life always. My mother's sister. Both brilliant, beautiful,smart,funny,strong, but both having separate personalities. It is hard to imagine life with out the two most powerful and influential women in it. I could not have been luckier to have these two women in my life. Dale was always there, always reliable, dependable,,honest,her grace and dignity I will always carry with me. I will never forget our time at the circus, what a wonderful day! I will miss you Auntie Dale, I will miss you so much!
I was so sorry to hear of Dale's death. She was such a good friend to my parents. I have so many memories of her. One that sticks in my mind is Dale and Harry rushing over to my parents house a few days after my grandmother died. They had been out of town when she died and for the funeral and they came over soon after they returned to LA. My mom considered her one of her inner circle. She will really be missed.
It is strange to talk about my mother and start at the end of her life. That last week,that last day. I went home on the night of Dec. 12th and I knew my mother was going to die the next day. She was so determined to go, despite the begging her three children to wait just 3 more days. Mom saw a opportunity and took it. My dad and my aunt Doris, mom's younger sister had died just a few months before. In one of the moments with her that last day she said " Andy, I have had a great life, wonderful children and grand children and I love all of you please let me go". I miss her so much. So many memories ,great family trips, the first time she saw Zach ( mom and dad both cried, dad not so much but he had tears), canoeing in Minnesota, 3 weeks in Mexico with the Robertsons, watching bad movies late into the night ( when I used to stay up past 9 pm ), our special night when I took her to " Chasen's " and then to the Queen Mary's show on Ventura blvd. Thank you mom for picking a great dad for us. Thank you also for Jeff and Lisa. You will always be in my thoughts.
It's so hard to reach for the phone and realize that I can't dial 818/765-7061 and hear that welcoming and reassuring “hello” that was so Dale. Always willing to catch up, commiserate, laugh and plan, I will cherish all of our chats and activities, large and small. You always treated me like family even before I was. I loved you always and will do so forever.
Many people believe that their mother is the best in the world. For those that don't, I am truly sorry for you, as it is a relationship like no other. And for those that do I am sorry for you too, because my Mom wins hands down in this category. She taught by example and was an amazing role model for me. She set the bar very high for what a mother should be. She listened without judging and I'm sure she must have almost bitten her tongue off many times, but she knew the value of silence, which at times sent a more powerful message than any words could have done. When asked for advice she would give it, but always in a very thoughtful way. She was kind, accepting, wise, and funny as hell. She was generous beyond belief, without every expecting anything in return.
I have so many, many wonderful memories and am glad she provided me with the experiences to make them. I just wish she could have been around for more. She gave me the confidence to live my life and she essentially taught me how to live without her. For this I am eternally grateful but also forever heartbroken to have lost my “rudder”.
Mom, you will always be in my heart. And by the way, Mary and Matthew did get married...
My Grandma Dale was all that one could ask for in a grandmother. My other grandma passed away when I was only two years old, and I believe that Dale took it upon herself to love, care for, and spoil me enough for the both of them. She succeded in that endeavor many times over.
I have so many wonderful memories of the time we spent together. One of the fondest was when she took my cousin Jack and I to Disneyland when we were five years old. Grandma hated roller coasters, so she would sit with one of us while my Grandpa took the other on the ride. Sitting on a bench all day in Disneyland doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun to me, but Grandma couldn't have been happier just talking to her grandson and people watching.
My sister and I spent a week of our summer down in L.A. for quite a few years, affectionately dubbing the time, "Camp Grandma." While we were there, we lived like royalty. Everyday was an adventure, whether it was a trip to the beach, sneaking in candy at the movie theater, or just simply hanging out in the hot tub. We would wake up early every moring to watch cable television (something we didn't have at home) and got to eat ice cream every night for dessert. Every night she would sing "Heel, Toe, and away we go" to get us to go to bed.
I could go on and on about all the great times we spent together, but I won't. Grandma Dale was an amazing human being, and she lived a long, wonderful life. I love you Grandma, and you will always be missed.
A Truly Wonderful person,as generous,tolerant and funny as anyone could really be and great person to share a smoke with around midnight back in the day.
My memories of my Great Aunt Dale and Uncle Harry began as a kid going to their house and having Thanksgiving Dinner. There were always so many people and so much food and I loved playing on the old barber chair. As I got older I came to value the wisdom and love Dale shared with me when she and Harry would come up to Lake Arrowhead and we would hang out at their cabin, talk and play games. I always admired the career path Dale had chosen and when I was looking at graduate school she was so very encouraging. When I had a crisis in my own life, Dale was there with kind words and continued encouragement to finish my degree so I could make a difference and ensure a good life for myself and my son. I will always thank her in my heart for her wisdom, sense of humor, and her talent for not beating around the bush with me. I wish I had been able to spend more time with she and Harry over the past several years but I will never forget them or their importance in my life.
I won't burden you with all the details of my story, just the ones that shed light on how deeply Dale has influenced my life and how even now, she continues to inspire me to do more with the life I have yet to spend.
I grew up in the system, officially given up for adoption by my birth mother at age four, taken in by those adoptive parents till I was nine, then I was given back to the state to be raised. At a time when I had not one single person on my side or even in my life for phone calls or visits, Dale swoops in like an energetic, grammar correcting-fairy godmother, who always seemed to have gum in her purse. Those visits with Dale meant more to me than words can convey, without her, I cringe to think of what kind of adult I might have turned into.
Dale's official title however was not fairy godmother, it was Guardian Ad Lit em or a CASA worker (court appointed special advocate) and she was the epitome of her position. Dale truly fought for me and my rights on a regular basis, from something as mundane as me being able to choose the clothing I wore, to the monumental and ultimately life changing and empowering decisions to change my name back to the one I had been born with, and legally cutting all ties with the adoptive parents who had given me away. Dale was there. Dale was by my side, Dale was on my side. Dale was there.
Dale was even there to physically and emotionally pick me up when I was 12 and my birth mother had decided for the fourth time that she just couldn't handle the responsibilities of a reconciliation. Dale held me while I screamed at the top of my lungs for my birth mother to never write me, never call me and never ever think of me again. To my utter dismay and everlasting regret, that was the very last time I saw my birth mother for almost two decades and those last words hung in the air of her absence.
Ever since that day, Dale and I have kept each other updated about our lives. I'm 32 now and I just recently reunited with my birth mother who has finally come to be "Mom" and I'm grateful to have had the chance to share that news with Dale.
In the past, I had not been sure how to describe mine and Dale's enduring relationship to people. I had lunch with her some years back at a cafe in Hollywood called Eclectic and when she told me that she was quite impressed with the person I had become, my elation hit the ceiling like no other praise had ever even come close to evoking. That's when I took to calling her my surrogate grandmother, and I'm still uncertain that my description is "grand" enough.
Dale was an amazing person, my life is one of the many that was shaped by her kindness and generosity of spirit. I know that my life is better for having known her, and that this world already feels the loss of such a fierce hero.
I have many funny and inspiring memories of contact with my lifelong friend's mom and neighbor. Snoring through shavasana, relentless ribbing about my early fear of dogs and white gloved get up for Lisa's 2nd bday to name a few. Inspired by her creation of family both blood and extended, I love her humor, energy and motivation to explore. She is warm and ageless. A role model for me in many ways. I admire her courage to do it her way. She will be greatly missed.
As a colleague, I will always remember Dale's smile, good humor, and calm manner.
Dale was my first supervisor as a beginning school psychologist in 1972, and we had a special connection through these past 40 years. Harry, too, became a friend long ago. My husband Chris and I always felt a loving bond with this amazing couple. I admired Dale's independence, her conviction to support her causes, her adventurous travel, and her strong love for her family, including their many dogs through the years. She and Harry will always have a special place in our hearts. With strength and dignity, Dale has left the world a better place.
Dale and I have celebrated our :ten yearsdifference in age. We liked to share movies and books...it's hard for me to believe the things we share are no longer.
In the last few years, I got better at talking to my grandma. It was not an easy thing. She was an inveterate extrovert; I am a committed introvert. She commented that she found fantasy and science fiction too unreal to enjoy; I found my emotional center in that genre. She was a child of the depression who was extravagantly generous; I was guilty and uneasy about accepting gifts from people when they seemed to be giving more than they felt was fair. She was a school psychologist, but when I told her that I had social anxiety, she told me she could not imagine what that would be like.
We clashed on many key points, and I loved her, and she loved me. Sometimes, especially when I had just been to visit and she would ask me when I would be coming next, I had no idea what to do, and I was terribly frustrated. I did not know what she wanted. When I was around her, she didn't seem interested in me or the things I liked. I didn't understand why she wanted to talk to me if we had no mutual interests.
Of course, she loved me and wanted me around because I was her granddaughter. I had a lot of trouble accepting this unwarranted love and accepting that my presence was what she wanted. I had only recently started to realize it and act on it.
For example, I wrote a 40 page paper exploring the history of a women's group in Hayward, California, which meandered through all sorts of social theory and quoted extensively, I kid you not, from ten years worth of meeting minutes. I sent it to my grandma, who told me I was so smart. I eventually discovered that anything I sent her (at least academically), she would appreciate and cherish. Who reads the papers of a graduate student in history and thinks that they are wonderful? My grandma.
She was also the queen of interruptions and conversational blunders. Because she seemed to want to know more about me, I would occasionally try to tell her emotionally sensitive things, at which point she would make a reference to the weather or a movie she had seen. Serious conversation? Hey, look! A squirrel! I had a hard time with this. It felt like she didn't care. It felt like she didn't really want me to be present. I was figuring out, slowly, that this is probably just how she handled painful things. She did not talk about her own aches and pains or sorrows. She talked about the movies she had enjoyed, and when she relayed stories about how people had been unkind to her, she was usually chuckling.
One of our family jokes is that we are not so good at singing, but this is actually a joke that is true. The dissonance of Happy Birthday when we sing in a restaurant is pretty cringe-worthy. My grandma definitely contributed to the off-key gene-pool. When she was graduating from high school, she and her classmates were supposed to sing a song. Her principal (I think) came up to her and warned her that if she did anything more than lip-synch, she wouldn't be graduating, so lip-synching is what my grandma did. She always told this story with a smile or a laugh.
She was also stubborn, and so was I. She took a terribly long time giving up on the idea that I might enjoy shopping for clothes, and she was forever commenting on how pretty I was. This is simply not a compliment I like for the most part because it takes away from compliments about things that actually matter to me. When I didn't write thank you letters, she would inquire to see if the post had arrived. Dryly. Pointedly. If I wanted to leave a social event early, she would ask why I was leaving so soon. She did all these things because she cared about me and wanted me to show that I cared about her.
I tried to reciprocate; I sent her artwork, and when I did do thank you notes, I put thought and often drawings into them. As I got older, I made a point of being more present and driving down to visit her. I always went and hugged her first at any family gathering. In turn, as she got more used to me, she went above and beyond the call of duty to try to share the things I was interested in. When I was a horrible teenager, she took me to New York, where all I wanted to do was see musicals. We saw at least one every day, and she only dragged me to a museum (which I was not interested in) once. In these last few years, she had started to ask me about the horses, and when she was dying this last week, she told me to go ride my horse.
We also, finally, found a place where we genuinely had something in common: history. As I was reading through gobs of research on World War II, the Great Depression, and the 1950s and getting lost in all the details, it occurred to me that my grandma had actually lived through these times. She was a war veteran, in fact, and a Jew.
I started asking her questions. I remember especially asking her, “Why was there a Holocaust? It was clearly the fault of France and England's policies that Germany was in such bad shape before World War II. Why didn't the Germans go after those countries? Why did they go after the Jewish people?” She explained a lot of things. She told me about her sister, Doris, who had been asked in third grade, “Why do you hate God?” She told me about her friend who had been in Germany, who had been made to stand on a chair in front of the class while the teacher pulled on her face, explaining that this is what a Jew's ears looked like, this was what a Jew's nose looked like. Historically, anti-semitism had been around for a long time.
I still didn't get it. She thought, and then she pointed out that people don't usually attack those who are strong (which would have been France and England). They go for those who are vulnerable, who are at hand. When I taught the class, I told my grandma's stories, and I could tell, those stories are what the class actually listened to.
These last few years, I made a habit of asking her any historical question that came to mind, and her insight was always rather wonderful and enlightening. I enjoyed those conversations, and I enjoyed not just what she explained about history, but what she explained about herself. It was a way to know her the way I like knowing people, and it was a way she was happy to share with me.
She was a smart lady, my grandma, and she lived through a lot and knew a lot. She knew what she wanted, and she lived it. She loved her family more than anything, and on December 13, 2012, she said goodbye to all of us, and she had a brave and peaceful death. I will miss her. I will remember her. She knew what family was and what courage was, and she passed that on to everyone who knew her.
Great Auntie Dale-
She always had a smile on her face and was such a positive and loving person. I love you so much and will you will forever have a place in my heart.
I'm so lucky to have been able to spend 24 wonderful years with you in my life. You taught me not only to be knit-picky about grammar, but also how to be a caring, kind, and respectable individual. You never doubted me, and always supported me 100% in everything I chose to do. I'll always remember vacations at your house, Thanksgivings, Mothers Day, and all the other good times we spent together. I feel so lucky and grateful to have been able to spend a few days with you this past fall, just us. I miss you already, and I will continue to do so every day. While it was really sad to see you go, a part of my heart warms up thinking that you have been reunited with Grandpa and your baby sister, Doris. I love you.
In the spring of 1947, Dale , Harry and I met in their store on Lankershim blvd.in North hollywood. Dale and i were 22 years old, both of us had been married a half a year. In the early years we saw each other almost daily ., I was a stranger not only in LA but also in the USA. i really needed a caring and supportive friend and For 66 years Dale was just that... We shared the highs and lows of our lives and were there for each other. Dale was warm always supporting ,offering to help when help was needed . She was most welcoming to Herb and myself we spent many happy times
together. She was making our world a better place. In later years as i moved away we saw each other only about 4 times a year for birthdays mainly, but we phoned and were in touch.I feel i have lost a most loyal friend, the only one left who knew me well in my young years. My heart goes out to all the Halperins, Erika Kahn, Santa Barbara
I am Dale's newest grandchild and I feel blessed and honored having Dale in my heart. She accepted me from the beginning as her granddaughter and has been so thoughtful and generous. I will miss her sense of humor, her stories, her jokes, her warmth, and her overall fabulousness. Thank you grandma Dale for everything. I love you.
Dale was a remarkable and exceptional woman. Soft spoken in her commitments, she was firm in her beliefs, dedicated equally to political causes and the love of her family. I was fortunate
to get to know her up close and personal as she talked of her desire and intention to move north to the Bay Area where she could be in day to day contact with her loved ones. Unfortunately the end of life came too soon to permit that wish to become reality. Dale, we miss you.
I feel grateful having known Dale.
Seeing her at work always lifted my spirits, as did our lunch date with her and friends this fall.
I thought about what a great 'model' she was, as I am aging
as we all are!
She continued to show zest for life, sharpness and involvement in many activities with her friends!
Riitta Clark, Reseda, Ca.
My beloved auntie was my second mom. And she remains so in my heart. Her kindness, her wry and dry sense of humor, her beauty and her goodness are woven into my history. For every moment of my life, Dale has been in it, sharing holidays, trips, adventures, ups and downs and just the simple everyday stuff. We were laughing and joking with her until the very end of her life--literally. She never stopped being the sweet, bright and funny woman she was.
My aunt, I can picture you and my mom, Doris, hanging out in Halo Town, away from the hubbies and the kids, blabbing your brains out, wearing big hats and sunglasses you got from Chicos. Chances are Chicos is going to order two minutes of silence in their stores around the world to honor their best customers.
I am grateful for my mom, Doris's, big sis, Aunt Dale. She gave me a lesson in what it is like to cherish the friendship of an adorable, devilish younger sister. And God knows, I've needed that help with someone whose name shall not be mentioned (Jaime).
I send warm thanks for my aunt Dale and for all that she gave.
Oh if all the people in this world had the same sense of values and decency as my sister-in-law, Dale, and her sister and my wife, Doris, what a joyful, peaceful and fun life we would all enjoy.Their lives were the height of giving, love and support for all they touched, and so enriched them. And what was remarkable is that it was completely natural, no ceremony, as normal as breathing. Their impact on the family in enormous, and will be felt for generations.
Dale was a favorite from the first moment I met her and she immediately adopted me into the extended family just through Erika and then Cory. I don't think before or since I have met such a wonderful woman, with the amazing combination of humor, passion, and such warmth. The many memories, stories, and hearing in my mind her infectious laugh as she described something that happened to she and Harry, make me smile through the tears even as I write this. I can only imagine how much sadness her family feels for her sudden absence. We send our love.
Well Dale, I shall miss having those lunches we had planned, but I respect how well you lived and left your life. A class act in so many ways.
Dale Dear was my godmother. The child in me expected that she would always be there in case I needed her. I am so sad to lose her, but so glad that I was her "first child." I will miss her a lot.
Dale was such a fabulous neighbor. Funny, compassionate, savvy, clever. Our shared interests in politics, the arts, and, of course, doggies made for great conversations. Her passion for life and her strength of purpose in her passing are both so inspiring . I am going to miss her so very, very much.
I first met Dale in the early 1970's. She was in a senior position and I was a beginning school psychologist. I remember her warmth and friendly manner and particularly her great sense of humor. My condolences to her family and friends.
Dale was so unique...truely one of a kind. I think what I'm gonna miss most about her was her fantastic sense of humor. Soo witty. She always managed to crack me up. Gonna miss you a lot Dale Dear.
Dale had such an amazing life and will truly be missed! Love to the Halperin Family.
Although I did not know Dale well beyond a working relationship in the early 1980's, I recall that she was a compassionate, warm person who was highly respected by her peers. My condolences to her family and friends. Barbara Gifford
Many of us appreciated and enjoyed Dale in her role as senior school psychologist for
LAUSD. She is a wonderful role model for all of us on living a full life and dying with grace and dignity.