It's so very hard to understand when God allows someone to come into our lives, capture our hearts, and become a living, breathing, loving part of who we are, and then takes them from us, leaving us broken and incomplete. The hole left in our hearts seems to be so vast that our minds cannot comprehend that our loving Heavenly Father is capable of taking that broken heart and filling the void with his everlasting love.
I never had the pleasure of knowing John personally, but I did know of your immeasurable love for him, which tells me that he was one of a kind to be worthy of your love and loyalty.
My prayer for you in the next few days, weeks, and months is that God will add to your already extraordinary strength and bring you comfort - at least as much as is possible right now. He will never leave you nor will He forsake you . . . He promised.
Much love, many hugs, and sincere prayers.