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NICOLE SEWELL DAVEY

NICOLE SEWELL DAVEY

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October 20, 2014
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September 09, 2014
Hey there my beautiful angel. I love you so much my beautiful baby. Only God knows how much I truly miss you and miss you being in my life!!! It has been such a long time since have written to you but I really needed to talk to you and this is the only way I know how to do that now. I have been thinking a lot about you (nothing new!) and really needing you and wishing that you were here. It is so hard to see all my friends on facebook having babies or being young and pregnant and posting pictures of their "little ones" or their sonograms and all I have are "memories" of my "Baby Gurl" (my little love'!!)I don't have any new pictures of you to post or stories to share with you and it makes me so sad! Don't get me wrong, I am truly glad and happy for them, but I guess I am also a little jealous and envious too!!! It just seems like life keeps letting me down!!! Maybe I have expected too much out of life itself. Maybe I've expected too much out of myself and the people that are around me and in my life. You know, I always had you to help me feel better when I felt down and out. When it seemed like everything and everybody was letting me down, you never did! You were always there for me!! You have no idea how many times I have just wanted to pick up the phone and call you!! Just to hear your voice again! Just to know that you're still here, but I know you aren't and some times that is still so hard for me to accept. To me, it's not right and it's not fair!!!! To me there is no reason why you shouldn't be here with me!!!!! I need to hear you say to me "that everything is going to be okay mama". That "I'm here for you mama and always will be". That "no matter what I'm proud of you mom". That when I would say "I love you", you would always say "I love you more mama". Between work, relationships, health and every day life, nothing seems good and it really hasn't been since the day you left. You made dealing with every day things in life a little easier, for me any way, just by being my daughter and my best friend, of course!! There were reasons why I did things the way I did them. Reasons why I put up with things the way they were. It was always so that I could be there for you and give you things that you needed or wanted. Now it's all just a stressful "pain in the ARSE"!!!!! It is amazing what you can do and put up with when you have somebody to take care of, someone to do for, someone to live for and somebody that you truly love with all your heart and soul! Nicole, I think about you every day and I miss you a little more every day that passes. Life really does suck without you here. The pain and the loss you feel when you loose someone you truly love NEVER goes away. I don't care what anybody says, it never gets any easier, it just gets harder! Can you tell that I still need you!!! That I still miss you!!! That I still love you with all my heart!!! I guess all of this is stemming from the fact that another year of Holidays and Birthdays have come and gone. That the "Big Holidays" are just around the corner. That there has been some health scares in the family and to top it all, the second year of you not being here with me is quickly approaching!!!! I guess I'm just a little sad right now and I am really missing my best friend LOTS and LOTS!!!!! Well until next time, from my heart to your heart, Blink 1-2-3, I LOVE YOU NICOLE WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!!!
ALL MY LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!
Mom
May 11, 2014
Hey beautiful angel. I miss you so so much and I love you with every fiber of my being. Today is my second Mother's Day without you and it still is one of the hardest days to face without you here. I still really miss getting that phone call first thing in the morning, or the card and gift that usually got to me at least a week early and the phone calls through out the day just to say "I love you Mama"!!! I think about you EVERY DAY and MISS you more every day that goes by, no matter how much time has gone by. There is so much going on right now and so many things happening and all I can think about is you and what you would be doing and thinking about all these things. I really miss sharing my life with you. I really miss being able to talk to you. I really miss that beautiful smile and those big blue eyes that always melted my heart. I just really miss YOU!!!!! You know people really want to wish me a "Happy Mother's Day" but they are not sure if they should or not and I'm glad when they do, because if nothing else, I will always be the very PROUD mother of Nicole Marie Sewell Davey and nothing will ever change that!!!!!
Well until next time, from my heart to your heart, Blink 1-2-3, I LOVE YOU NICOLE WITH ALL MY HEART!!!
ALL MY LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!
Mom
December 31, 2013
Hey there my beautiful angel. Happy Happy Birthday "Baby Gurl" and Happy New Years too my sweet angel!! I am so sorry that I am a day late wishing you a Happy Birthday!! I was so busy celebrating YOUR Birthday with the family and dedicating the beautiful bench to you and Chucky that I am running a day late!!!! (and of course, Stacy's amazing computer has broken down. Again!!! so I didn't have anything to write to you on!!!!)) I hope you liked what the family did in honor of you yesterday. It was a beautiful dedication service. It wasn't too long or too sad, but more upbeat and comforting and then just having everybody come back to Mama's to light off the lanterns (which I thought were beautiful!) and grab a quick bite to eat, I thought it turned out very nice. I know you had to be watching upon us and smiling because there were very few sad tears, a lot of talking about and remembering you and a lot of smiling and laughing with the family. All the things that you would have enjoyed. It was definitely all "about you" and we know how much you liked that!!!! I will have to say though, that it is still very hard to go to Daytona and not see and be with you. We always enjoyed spending time with the family and each other. I still love to be with my family and enjoy being around them, but there is that "something" missing. That core person that has always bound us together and that person is YOU!!! I don't think anybody really knows just how much you were a part of us and a part of what made us a family. I don't think anybody realizes just how much you are truly missed by all of us. Nicole, you were really a special part of all of us and our hearts. I don't know if you even knew just how much you were loved. (especially by me!!!!) I meant what I said last night about drawing strength from you and trying to live my life in honor of you. It's like Mama said today, Nicole would not want us to stop living or grow apart just because you aren't here with us, but I will tell you this, our lives are definitely missing you!!!! Well until next time, from my heart to your heart, blink 1-2-3, I LOVE YOU NICOLE!!!!
ALL MY LOVE LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!
Mom
December 29, 2013
Well, this same time last year we were focused on a "Celebration of LIFE" service for Nicole. Making sure that it completely honored the AMAZING LIFE Nicole shared with each of us. This year we are doing a dedication of the bench. Nicole and Chuck's bench, a place that all of us share! It has become a place that I visit everyday. It is just a small way that i can connect to my sweet daughter that i miss so much. I have been told that this is supposed to get "easier." I feel that it only becomes harder. Each day with out her, each holiday or event that we would have shared together only makes me miss her more! "Nicole, You were always my Life, my Everything. You are thought of and missed with every breath I take. I love you so much Nicole ~ Happy Birthday my Angel.." Love Always,
Daddy
December 25, 2013
Hey there my beautiful angel. Merry Christmas sweetheart!!! I love you so much and I still miss you more than ever. Well Christmas day is almost over and I did real good today. It seemed just like another day off instead of the holiday. Brian and I had to celebrate yesterday because he had to leave today for his job and with you not being here to call me first thing in morning to wish me a "Merry Christmas mama" and then spending hours on the phone opening each others gifts, it felt like just another day. I talked to you a lot toady. (nothing new!) I really miss you not being here. I really miss sharing my days with you. I miss our friendship. I miss being able to share life with you. The hardest thing for me to accept about you not being here is that I can't do anything about it. I have to learn to live with the emptiness and heartache that I feel and that's a very hard thing to do, but I know you wouldn't want me to "fall apart" or not be able to "carry on". If nothing else, you taught me about strength and staying strong no matter what life has in store. So I now try to live each day in honor of you and the love we shared. I am trying to enjoy each and every day and remember the joy that you brought me. (and the laughter!!!) I try to take a moment every day and cherish the time we had together and the relationship we had throughout our years together. I still think about you EVERY day and I miss you a little more every day, but I know you hear me when I talk to you and I know you are here with me and beside me every moment of every day. I just want to say "Thank you for all the amazing memories, for loving me no matter what happened through the years, for sharing such an amazing relationship with me and for being the strong, beautiful, amazing and perfect daughter for me." I love you Nicole Marie Sewell Davey with every inch of me. I have since the day you were born and I will until the day I get to see you again and NOTHING will ever change that. Well until next time, from my heart to your heart, blink 1-2-3, I LOVE YOU NICOLE!!!!
ALL MY LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!!
Mom
November 28, 2013
Hey there my beautiful angel. Happy Thanksgiving up there in heaven from me down here on earth. I love you my angel so much and when I tell you I miss you more every day, I truly mean it!! I am having a rough day today without you. I guess it really has hit me that you are really gone and you're not coming back. This feels like my first Thanksgiving without you and not my second. I guess I was still numb last year at this time. You had only been gone 2 weeks and I guess it still wasn't quite real to me yet. This year I am really feeling the effects of you not being here to share the holidays with me. You always loved this time of the year more than anything. Between Thanksgiving, Christmas, your Birthday and New Years,it was just one celebration after another and you always enjoyed yourself and had such a good time here at the end of the year. We would look forward all year long to the holidays and what we were going to do, what we were going to buy everybody (and each other!) and were we were going to be. It is so not the same without you. It is so hard to be happy and thankful when the one thing that you were thankful for and that made you the happiest isn't here with you. I just hope and pray that you are happy now. Nickie, just know that I am thinking about you EVERY day and missing you so much. These next few weeks are going to be hard to get through, but I will try to stay strong and enjoy them the best I can because I know if you were here we would be having a BLAST!!!! Just know sweetheart that to me nothing beat seeing you, "my Nicole" during the holidays. It was truly the time of the year that I will always remember and treasure about you. Well until next time, from my heart to your heart, blink 1-2-3, I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH NICOLE!!!!!
ALL MY LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!!
Mom
November 14, 2013
Hey there my sweet, beautiful and amazing angel. I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH and I MISS YOU MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY!!!! I can't believe it has been a year already since went to be an angel. I thought it would get easier by now to be here without you, but it hasn't. I thought I would stop thinking about you every day, but I haven't. I thought the empty feeling I felt in my heart when you left would subside, but it hasn't. The only things that get me through the day without you here with me are the thoughts of all the beautiful memories we shared together, knowing that I have the most beautiful and amazing angel watching over me, keeping me strong and knowing that one day I will see you again and that we will be together again. I miss you more than words could ever say and I love you more than anyone will ever know. You will never be forgotten. You will always be in my heart. I will ALWAYS and FOREVER love you. Well until next time, from my heart to your heart, blink 1-2-3, I LOVE YOU NICOLE!!!!!
ALL MY LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!
Mom
November 12, 2013
My Sweet sweet Nicole..
It is so hard to believe that Thursday November 14th is the one year anniversary of when you flew away from your earthly body. Your wings emerged and your transformation took you far away from that bed, away from that hospital, away from the limits that this world held you too. Free at last my "Beautiful Butterfly," the most beautiful of them all! I think of you each and every day. I have had several visits from you in my sleep. You are always so perfectly content and shinning with peacefulness. I know that God has you in his arms, embraced in His eternal care. And each of us hold on tightly to a piece of you in our Hearts. Fly my Precious Graceful Butterfly. Let the tips of your wings brush against us every once in awhile. I will be listening for the sound of your laughter to dance across the breeze as you glide past.. I know your new found freedom is so amazing.. I love you so much. I ALWAYS have, And i ALWAYS will.. Until we meet again my Sweet little sister~fly high my Angel Butterfly!! I LOVE YOU
October 16, 2013
Hey there my sweet beautiful girl. I finally get to write you on a Wednesday. Yeah!!! I love you so much Nicole and I miss you even more today than I did yesterday. We just went over to Daytona this past weekend. We haven't been over there since your Celebration Of Life last December. I finally got to see the bench that your dad picked out and it is absolutely beautiful!!! I can see why he is so proud of it and why he spends so much time there. (with you!) It is so peaceful and it is right on the river. I can't wait to go back in December and see it all lit up for Christmas. I was so glad to be going over so I could see mama and my sisters, but I wasn't as excited as I would have of been if you were there. I always got so excited to see you. I know you were always so excited to see me too. We always had such a good time no matter where we were as long as we were together. You were always "my happy"!!!! It really dawn on me this trip that you were the reason we made so many trips to Daytona over the years. There was always something going on with you. Whether it was an event or a hospital run or just because I needed to see you. I really, really miss just hanging out with you and being with you. I was always so proud to be out with you, to be able to show off my amazing daughter to the world and my friends. It is so very hard to be over there without you. I can't even go near State Street!! Too many awesome memories there and it makes me so sad that you're not there to make more memories with me. I had to go to your storage unit to get the crib out for Lori. She's due next month! When I opened the door to the unit, it took my breath away just knowing that all the stuff in there is all that is left of you and now I can't wait to get it out. Even if it is just "material" things, they are your things and they mean the world to me. I know how proud you were of your little apartments and how much all those things meant to you. I promise to take VERY good care of everything just like you would have. I just wish you were still here to enjoy all your things yourself. I hate the fact that you are gone and there is NOTHING I can do about it. It's not right. You should still be here living your life the best you could, worrying about every little thing and bringing the love and happiness that you brought to all of us. (especially me!!!) You will always be "my happy" and when I look at all the amazing pictures we have taken over the years and read all the wonderful cards and letters you had sent me over the years, it reminds why you are and always will be "my happy"!! I want so badly to pick up the phone and call you!! (still!!!) I have so much to tell you and talk to you about. It is so hard knowing that you're not here. I guess I just miss you that much. I miss our friendship and our relationship more than anyone knows and I will never, ever get over that!! Well until the next time, from my heart to your heart, blink 1-2-3, I LOVE YOU NICOLE, VERY VERY MUCH!!!!
ALL MY LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!
Mom
October 08, 2013
Hey there my sweet beautiful angel. I know I haven't written in a couple of weeks, but I know you understand why! I love you so much my sweet angel and nobody knows just how much I really do miss you EVERY day. I have so much to tell you and so much I want to say, but for now I just want to tell you how much I truly do love you (I ALWAYS have!!!) and that I miss you more than anyone will ever know. No matter what, you are ALWAYS on my mind and in my heart!!! Well until next week (or two!!!) from my heart to your heart, blink 1-2-3, I LOVE YOU NICOLE!!!!
ALL MY LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!
Mom

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