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BARRY METZGER

BARRY METZGER

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October 24, 2014
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April 01, 2013
Dear Jackie and family,

We were terribly saddened to hear the news of Barry's passing.
It must be devastating for the family to lose such a wonderful husband, father, grandfather and an amazing friend to so many.
I am sure like us, everyone just has wonderful fond memories of not only an intelligent business person but a very caring and compassionate person.
There is nothing that prepares you for this loss but we hope that together as a family and with your strong faith that you will endure this difficult time.
Both Graham and I pass our sincere condolences to all of you and will be thinking of you.

Lot's of love to you.
April 01, 2013
Dear Metzger Family,
I have just learned of your devastating loss, and hasten to add my condolences.
To my regret, I lost touch with Barry over the years since my family's departure from Hong Kong. But while there with Chase Asia Ltd, which became Chase Manhattan Asia Ltd, I had frequent business contact with him, and through those meetings developed great respect.

Our sympathy goes out to your family.
Sincerely,
April 01, 2013
Dear Jackie and family,

It is now almost 30 year since Bob Seidler brought Barry up to the Court to introduce us. Every meeting with him since then has been an unalloyed joy. The man was such a lovely human being, such a friend and I am sure a great husband, father and grandfather. It is embarrassing to recall that after being able to facilitate Coudert's opening in Sydney Helen and I became the recipients of a million acts of friendship and kindness.
Jackie, all who knew Barry or had dealings with him realize that his passing lost us a great and good man with limitless capacity for friendship and kindness. Whilst your loss stands alone in its depth of grief we who feel privileged to have been touched in this life by our friend feel with you and for you.
Please envelop yourself in our deep and unlimited affection and sympathy for the loss of our dear friend.

Affectionate regards to you all,
April 01, 2013
Jackie,
we are devastated!
I have tears in my eyes as I send this, thinking of your pain and loss. You can be comforted if at all possible by having shared your life with a wonderful man who made such a difference to so many lives.
How brutally unfair this is!
We will be back in touch with you when we absorb this and feel up to sharing where you are at.
Our deepest sympathy and our arms are round you.
April 01, 2013
Dear Rebecca,
Ryan notified me about your dad. I am so very sorry for you and Noah and your family. I immediately went to your facebook page and saw the wonderful photo of the two of you together. That photo perfectly captures my memories of Barry, jovial and enjoying the energy of those around him, and a playful side bubbling below the surface. I always enjoyed not only talking to him, but being around him, he was a good presence and loving father and grandfather. He was cut from the same cloth as my dad, who just died over 8 month ago. I am still in mourning and saying kaddish every shabbat. I know you must be feeling something like I felt when my father died ... utter devastation, loss, emotional depletion, a broken heart. This doesn't last, and changes over time. But the first 30 days were a landscape of emotional pain for me. There were a few things that helped me through it. Being with family and friends. Are you staying with your mom during shiva? I lived in the house of mourning for the week and rarely left. It felt safe, and strangely like how I felt during the first week after Frieda's birth, like the whole world had contracted into my house, and time moved incredibly slowly. I was struck how similar in some ways birth and death are, at least in those earliest of days. The shifting of worlds as someone moves in or out of it. The immensity and intensity is so different that the rest of our daily lives. That first week the presence of my father was so strong, he always seemed to be just around the corner. He was there but not there. This was hard to feel at the time, but now I almost miss it, and I crave to find ways to feel close to him again, even if only in my dreams. So feel him now as much as you can.

The Jewish rituals do help and make sense, and you are so thoughtful I am sure you'll find the right practices for yourself. I started saying kaddish a few days a week and have settled into once a week since the shloshim. Right now, its the only public space where I am still in mourning, and people know that I have recently lost a parent, and that space is comforting since the rest of the world will not really understand what you are going through and after a few weeks won't even care too much. I was surprised how horrible it felt to lose a parent. Some of my close friends had lost parents, and I realized that I really had no idea what they went through until I "joined the club" myself.
So the other thing that helped me along the way has been taking comfort from those who have been gone down this road before. For me, the most comforting words came from people - some close friends, othertimes near starngers - who lost parents and shared their experiences with me. Helped the absurdity of my father being dead seem less absurd.

Please know that my, and Risa's, thoughts are with you and that we will try to help anyway we can.

Hugs,
Dan
April 01, 2013
Dear Jackie, Rebecca, Darren and families,
I can't tell you how sad we are to hear your news when everything looked so hopeful for Barry. We have lost one of our most special friends and are so sorry we cannot be with you. Julie and David are here with us or they would have gone to be with you all at Barry's send off.
We have many special memories not least our time around Julie's wedding which we now treasure even more, and we will never forget Barry and you offering to save our farm when the going was really tough for us. Only very true friends would do that. Fond memories of a very special, wise and generous man who we will miss a lot.

We are with you in spirit and will be in touch when things settle down a little.
Love you all,
April 01, 2013
Jackie,
I was deeply saddened to learn from Peter and David of Barry's untimely passing. Please accept my deepest condolences.

Barry was my first "boss". I joined Coudert's Hong Kong office fresh out of law school in the fall of 1980 and he was the managing partner. He was a great mentor and role model the me and other young associates at the firm. I learned never to give him anything to review unless I felt it was as perfect as I could make it. He set very high standards for each of us and for himself. Law was a craft, something that you could learn and perfect - and he was a master at his craft - something he clearly thrived at doing. I always envisioned that he was much older than I given his wisdom and maturity that so impressed a fledgling associate like myself at that time - but he was in fact only about four years older!

I also remember attending Thanksgiving dinner at your place I believe near Fortress Hill in Hong Kong. Young Darren told the story of the Pilgrims and of Thanksgiving. I recall Barry beaming from the sidelines as he watched his son do this. I can only imagine how happy he must have been being surrounded by his grandchildren and watching them grow up.

Barry was a great man and will be sorely missed by many - I consider myself to be blessed to have been able to work with him and learn from him. I hope that your unbearable loss will be somewhat lessened knowing that he had such a positive influence on so many lives.
Sincerely,
April 01, 2013
Dear Jackie,

I am so sorry to hear about Barry. He was such a great and gentle man. He also commanded an audience. As you now he was kind enough to guest lecture at my NYU class. All my other speakers would come with PowerPoint presentations and do a good job. But Barry showed up with just himself, leaned back on the desk in the front and chatted. The students were mesmerized. They asked question after question. They didn't want him to leave and I usually had to intervene to get Barry free. To this day, I receive notes from my former students who said what they learned from Barry helped them move up in their careers.
We miss him too and our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Warmest regards,

Dennis
April 01, 2013
Dear Jackie,

I was deeply shocked to read your email upon my recent return to New York. Barry was an outstanding professional colleague and more importantly a dear friend. I remember so well my visits with you both in various posts around the world and the warm hospitality I always received.

With deepest sympathy, Dick.
March 28, 2013
Dear Jackie,

I am not sure if you remember me. I am Christophe Gautrot, a counsel at the Asian Development Bank.

I have learnt the very sad news of the demise of Barry Metzger. I send my most sincere condolence to you and your family.

I have a very good memory of Barry who was the General Counsel who hired me in 1997 as a counsel in the Office of the General Counsel of ADB. I appreciated working under his leadership. He was a boss who was a great source of inspiration for the young lawyer that I was then. I particularly appreciated from him the fact that he treated all counsels in an equal manner and took into considerations the opinions of each lawyer whatever his or her hierarchical position. Another of his legacy for me was his interest for the role of law in the development of countries in Asia. The interest and passion that he showed are still a source of inspiration in my work as a counsel in ADB today.

In these difficult days for you, I wish to send my moral support and prayers.


Christophe

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