Here I am again, 8 months since you passed away and the only thing I can do to feel close to you is write to/about you on here...it is just NOT fair. We have celebrated Ronny's, Alyssa's, Kevin's, my and more importantly your birthday since you passed away. We have celebrated Thanksgiving without you. That was the first Thanksgiving I have ever gone through without seeing you. Now I am facing Christmas without you. About this time every year you would be asking me to get Alyssa a gift from you for Christmas and you would pay me back. You asking me to do that always made me crazy! I would think just pick something out, she's easy to buy for. Now I'm missing that question. I would do anything to hear you ask me that. It's funny how things that bother you the most are the things you miss the most. I find myself looking at pictures and thinking it has almost been a year or over a year since that picture was taken. The thought of not having any more pictures with you in them as Alyssa gets older really makes my heart sink. The picture I will add to this message is one of my favorites and it is the last favorite I will have of you in it. How I wish I had the opportunity to do things differently, I would have taken a LOT more pictures! On sad days I can get lost in a picture which eventually(after the tears) leads to a smile on my face, for that I am grateful. I'm just feeling the weight of you being gone today more than other days. I miss you, Padre. I wish so badly you were here with me to give you a hug, get your advice, just to talk to or get aggravated with about picking a gift out. I love you Padre and miss you more and more every day.