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Michael Arthur Obituary

Michael "Myk" F. Arthur, of Oakland, Calif., passed away June 1, 2013, as the result of a bicycle accident. Michael was born July 24, 1988. He grew up in South Weymouth, Mass., and attended Saint Francis Xaviar School and Weymouth High School. After high school, Michael moved to Allston, Mass., and bought into a co-op Vegan Pizza & Sub shop where he ran the business along with the other members for several years. Later, Michael moved to Philadelphia, South Hero,Vt., and eventually settled in Oakland, Calif. Michael loved punk music, art, poetry, animals, bike riding, traveling and adventures. Michael was a free spirit who loved life and lived each day to the fullest. He had many friends on both the the east and west coasts and was a fun loving and truly inspirational person. Michael was the love of his mother's life and was always and will forever be her "Baby Boy". He was an exceptionally loving son who always ended every conversation with "I love you Mama, Peace". Words cannot describe how much he will be missed by his mother Laura Campanale Kyller of Plympton and his stepdad George Kyller. Michael was a dedicated and loving grandson to his Nan, Lucy Campanale of Weymouth and La Mesa, Calif. He always remembered to call Nan every week just to say hello, check on her and tell her that he loved her. Nan will miss Michael and his kind and thoughtful calls. Michael will forever be loved, remembered and missed by his Auntie Donna Dunkum and his cousins Matthew Dunkum, Steven Dunkum and Andrew Dunkum all of Sturbridge, Uncle Tony Campanale and Auntie Kim Campanale and cousins Marley Klein and Mia Campanale all of San Diego, Calif. Michael is also survived by his father, James D. Arthur of New Hampshire. Michael joins his beloved Papa, Anthony Joseph Campanale Sr., and his dog, Whiley, in Heaven. A memorial will be held Sunday, July 7, at 11:45 a.m. at Ringer Park, Allston, Mass. (meet at the Allston St. entrance), followed by a celebration and honor of life at The Last Drop, 596 Washington St., Brighton, Mass.

Published by The Patriot Ledger on Jul. 5, 2013.
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Hello My Beautiful Boy,
It's been a few months honey. It's been a tough few months. I'm finally starting to feel better. Made it past the holidays. Incredibly lucky to have George, our wonderful family and amazing friends here in our small town who are truly more like family.
Today is the start of 2024 and although it is always hard to start another new year knowing you cannot be with us I am trying my best to stay positive.
George and I have a lot to look forward to in 2024...a lot of irons in the fire and I am thrilled for what lies ahead. I know that you are always by my side. You are in my heart. My soul. Forever a part of me. The very best part of me Michael. I love you beyond what words could describe. I miss you endlessly, but most of all I grieve for you my beautiful son. For the life you lived, loved and lost so suddenly and so young. I would continue to live a life of pain if you could have your life back but sadly that is impossible.
I know that you are safe, loved, happy and living your dream in your next life now. When we are reunited someday I am going to squeeze you so tight and kiss you and probably drive you crazy! I'm sure Nan did that when she reunited with you!!
Oh Mikey, I love you Baby Boy. With every bit of my heart.
You are Forever my Favorite Person xoxo
Love You Forever, Mama

Mama

Family

January 1, 2024

Hello My Beautiful Boy, the summer has almost passed by. A few days ago the 10 year 3 month mark hit. It hasn't been easy. As you know my love, 10 years has weighed very heavily on my heart and my doctor even suspects it has started to take a physical toll on me as I just feel achey all over, don't have much of an appetite and keep losing weight. Strange how feeling out of sorts can take over like that. Luckily I have a great support system and have managed to have joy amongst the sadness. It is just hard knowing that you are not here. That you have missed so much. Uncle Tony's Birthday was yesterday. Justin has 3 daughters now. Steven decided on a career change, he no longer wants to teach high school chemistry.....so much happening, things you should be here for. Did I tell you that our puppy Levi was born on your Birthday? How awesome is that?? He's a handful but we love the little guy!!
Oh my goodness Michael. I miss every little freaking thing about you. I miss every little thing so, so, so, sooooo much that it hurts my body....yup my doctor is probably right... ughhh...I honestly would not wish this pain on any parent....ever.
I love you bigger than anything more than anything and forever and ever, Mama xoxo

Mama

Family

September 3, 2023

My Beautiful Boy,
Today marks 10 years without you How is that possible? Ten years time is such a long passage of time with so many possibilities. I cannot help but wonder what you would have accomplished, where you would be in this life, who would be your family....the wife and children you wanted so much someday. I allow myself to think about the what ifs. To at times live in dreams of you. I never allow myself to dwell on the day you left this life. It is far to painful and sadly no amount of reliving that tragedy will ever change the outcome and bring you back. I have spent the last 10 years dancing around that day in my head. Terrified to face it. Pushing it aside.
I have a wonderful, happy and blessed life. I am so grateful for George, my family, my friends and for this beautiful small town we live in and the incredible friends we made here. I have so much Michael, but I don't have the most important person in my life anymore so there is always something missing. The hole in my heart will only be filled when we are together again
I love you so very much Michael and I miss you more each day.
Love You Forever, Mama xoxo

Mama

Family

June 1, 2023

Hello my Beautiful Boy. The first of March marked 9 years and 9 months and was a bigger gut punch than I expected.
Three months until the 10 year mark. It's impossible for me not to think about it. I try desperately to distract my thoughts, dance around the subject in my head but I think of you always my love and unfortunately I cannot filter out the sadness.
I love you so much and miss you so much. I feel that there are no words to adequately describe the pain I feel. Only you and I truly understand it Michael and it will only end when we are reunited.
Until then my love, my beautiful son ....
Love You Forever, Mama xoxo

Mama

March 7, 2023

Merry Christmas my Beautiful Son I love you so much and wish you were here. This is your first Christmas since you left that you finally have your beloved Nan with you Please give her a giant hug for me as this is my first Christmas without her. I love you, Nan and Papa all so very much and take comfort in knowing that you are all together. Merry Christmas to you all.
Love You Forever, Mama xoxo

Mama

Family

December 25, 2022

My Beautiful Michael,
It has been a few months since my last check in. The change of seasons, Thanksgiving and now Christmas time. These things all trigger my ever present sadness and I am feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. This has also been the first holiday season since Nan passed away which makes me feel even sadder, however, makes me happy for you because you have your beloved Nan with you I just wish everyone I love, especially you was here with me. I just wish you were all here. Period. End of story.
On Thanksgiving I got a beautiful email from your friend Mikey that absolutely lifted my spirits and made my entire day. He thanked me for bringing such a wonderful person into the world and said he thinks of you often and will always remember how much your friendship and inspiration meant to him. Mikey also said that you loved me so much! .....although I already knew that you loved your Mama, I have to admit it was awesome to read these words ....someone's observation. I think I reread his email a dozen times and cried each time.
I love you so much Michael. I miss you more than words could ever describe.
Love, Mama xoxo

Mama

Family

December 17, 2022

My Beautiful Sweet Boy,
Oh how I miss you so very much. I missed our last few check ins. Time passes by but a day never passes by without wonderful thoughts of you. Life has been busy. A great summer. Enjoying friends and family. Feeling grateful for what we we have...an abundance of love, an amazing group of friends and family,living in a gorgeous little farm town where people know each other and take care of each other. This town and these people have been a savior for me. The serenity is here is beautiful and healing. You would love it honey. I am doing what you wanted. Finding joy in each day in spite of my heartache. It's not always easy, but I push through as my promise to you. As I have mentioned to you before, there are days I simply have a single good moment and end up on the couch ....and that is ok. My sadness is mine and I must own it and deal with it. I also have the added heartache of losing Nan recently I love you both so much and I'm sure you have been very busy with catching up these past months
Love You Forever and Ever My Beautiful Son, Love, Mama xoxo

Mama

August 28, 2022

My Beautiful Boy,
It's been a few months since my last visit here. June 1st marked 9 years that you have been gone. It is so hard to wrap my brain around that fact. Nine very long years. I have missed you each and every day of the past nine years honey. Missing you is so painful and knowing that you are missing out on everything here that you should be experiencing is even more painful. Oh how I wish I could change things. Turn back time. Bring you home. I love you so much Michael. You truly were the very best part of my life.
I hope you are enjoying your time with Nan. I know that you must be and I know that Nan is thrilled to be with her Mikey
I love you Baby Boy
Love You Forever, Mama xoxo

Mama

Family

June 17, 2022

My Sweet Beautiful Boy,
Honestly I don't know how long it has been since I've checked in. I always let you know how long.....so very, very long it has been since my previous post but as you already know my love, everything has been...well...I, just can't find a word.
I gather by now that you and Nan have had quite a wonderful reunion! I will say that knowing that she was going to be with her Mikey Boy gave me a great deal of comfort during the very tough days. Ohhhhh how great it is to know that you and Pup and Nan are all back together again. Together in paradise. I will join you when it is my time but until then please watch over our family. We all love you and miss you so very much. Enjoy your reunion with Nan my love. We really weren't ready for her to leave us but we know that she is with you and Pup.
I love you so much honey and I miss you so very much
Love you forever, Mama xoxo

Mama

April 14, 2022

My Beautiful Sweet Boy,
Time has passed. January 1, 2022 not only marked 8 years and 7 months since you moved on but it marked the start of a brand new year without you. New Years is tough. All the holidays are tough. Your Birthday and New Years are especially tough. There is an added sting to the already deep pain I feel.
Yesterday I listened to all your saved voice-mail messages on my phone. Your beautiful voice is still so clear and present in my mind. To actually hear you brought up a mix of emotions. I laughed and cried. I felt a deep sense of loss. I wanted to pull you out of the phone. You seemed so close, yet you seemed so far away. I can say though, that my biggest takeaway from listening to your messages was the fact that I was an incredibly lucky Mama. You said "I love you Mama" more times than I could count. These messages are a treasure to me Michael. Although I can still hear your voice I fear that as I grow older I may not so having the messages is everything.
I love you so much honey and miss you beyond words.
Love You Forever, Mama

Mama

Family

February 10, 2022

My Beautiful Boy,
December 1st marked eight and a half years without here. Today is Christmas Day. Nine Christmases I have had to spend without my favorite person. Although I am surrounded by love I cannot help but feel sad during the holidays. The one thing I want more than anything in this world I can never have. No matter how hard I wish or pray or try to bargain with the universe and the higher powers....I cannot have you back. I just want you back honey. I want you to get married, have a family. Have a chance to do all the things in your life that you wanted to do. It is so unfair. Why did this happen to you? To our family? It just sucks. I miss you my sweet boy and I love you so very much.
I hope that you and Pup are having an awesome Christmas today. I love and miss you both so much.
Love You Forever, Mama xoxoxo

Mama

Family

December 25, 2021

My Beautiful Michael,
Today marks 8 years and 5 months without you in this life. Although I know I will see you in the next life, it just keeps getting more difficult here without you. I am surrounded by love and support yet there are times I feel completely alone. A Mother simply is not supposed to outlive her child. It's not right. Not normal or fair. You were cheated, I was cheated, everyone who loves you was cheated and it sucks.
Maybe today wasn't the best day for me to write an entry since I've been in such a funk lately. The truth is honey, I don't think from now till the end of my days on Earth I will ever have a happy, cheerful entry unless a miracle occurs and you walk through the door healthy and whole.
I miss you so much Michael. I honestly miss you more with each passing day. I love you so, so, so much.
Love You Forever, Mama xoxo

Mama

Family

November 1, 2021

My Beautiful Boy,
Somehow, for the past few months my phone has failed to send my entries. I am typing this entry on my tablet and hoping to have better luck.
September first marked 8 years and 3 months. October first, 8 years and 4 months.
Last week a woman I work with was having a tough day. It was the 2 year mark of her sons passing. We started chatting about our boys and loss, and grief, and how hard it is to miss our beautiful boys. When she realized that it had been 8 years, she said she just could not imagine being 8 years into the sadness. She is not the first parent to ask me if it gets any easier. My answer has never changed.....No, for me it has not gotten any easier, in fact, I feel it's gotten harder as time passes.
I wish I had a different answer. An answer with even just a bit of hope. For all the parents new to this horrible journey. For myself. Maybe someday Michael, but honestly the pain I feel is so deep that I'm not sure it is possible. I will carry on honey. As best I can. Living my life with deep sadness and a broken heart, yet trying to make you proud.
I love you so very much Michael and miss you so, so, so much that every part of me hurts.
Love You Forever, Mama xoxo

Mama

October 16, 2021

My Beautiful Michael,
July 1st has passed. Eight years and one month without you. July 24th, such an amazing day because it was the day you were born, has also passed. Your 33rd Birthday my dear Son. How is that possible? I think about you being the age of 33. A young man. Maybe married. Maybe a Dad. I remember one of our last conversations. You told me that you were going to marry Caitlin someday. I know how much you loved kids and wanted to be a Dad. I can honestly close my eyes and picture you older, more mature doing all these things. It's as though I'm watching a beautiful happy movie in my head and I'm smiling while tears are rolling down my face. How unfair that you never got the chance to be 33. How unfair that all of the people that love you so very much never get the pleasure of meeting you at 33.
August 1st which marked eight years and two months has also passed. Each moment that passes I miss you even more honey. The signs you have been sending lately have been incredible. Thank you very much for noticing my need for extra comfort. I love you so much Michael and I miss you so, so very much.
Happy Birthday My Beautiful Baby Boy
Mama

Mama

Family

August 3, 2021

My Beautiful Son,
Today marks 8 very long and sad years. This has been weighing heavily on my heart. Eight years seems so long. It sounds so long. It is so very, very long to be without you.
I'm sorry that I never made the 7 year 11 month entry. I honestly felt so out of sorts about everything. Mother's Day is in May and knowing that the 8 year mark was right around the corner....ughh.....
Sometimes I feel like I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for something big to happen. That something big is you coming home. You telling me that the past 8 years has all been a big mistake. A bad dream. It's all over now and you are home to stay. This crazy fantasy probably is not very healthy for my emotional state but I need to do whatever I need to get through the day. To get through my life without you. I miss you so much honey. I love you more than you know.
Until we see each other again I will carry you in my heart.
Love You Forever, Mama ☮

June 1, 2021

Miss you man. I think about you a lot. It’s true what they say, the best people get taken from us first. Rest easy Myk.

Alfonso Gober

Friend

April 27, 2021

My Beautiful Boy,
It's now April 19th and the 7 year 10 month mark has passed. I dread the first of each month. It has been a trigger of sadness for me since your accident. It is something that just happens even if I am completely unaware of the date (which I often am) an off feeling, a sense that something just isn't right....and then I look at my phone and see it's the 1st....and I know why I feel out of sorts.
This past year has been tougher than usual. I know that I have moved backwards in terms of coping with your loss. It's sad and disappointing but it's the reality of losing my favorite person, my only child. Michael, truth is I am in a tremendous amount of pain. I know you must hate that, but surely you must understand it as well. Truth also is that I have happiness in my life too. I have learned to live each day with sadness and joy. It is possible, and it's necessary. But it is exhausting. Missing you takes so much out of me. I cannot stop missing you honey. I will never stop missing you. I love you so much. Sometimes, when I am thinking about a particular memory I can hear your voice, see your beautiful face. You're so close. Oh Michael, how I wish I could bring you back my beautiful Baby Boy.
I love you so much honey
Love You Forever,
Mama ☮

April 19, 2021

Hello My Beautiful Boy,
Today is the last day of March. Thirty-one days ago marked 7 years and 9 months without you here on Earth. I kept putting off this entry in hopes of a change. A crazy, impossible change in the form of a miracle. I just wanted and needed for this not to be real. I hoped and prayed this was all just a terrible mistake and you were going to come back. I know that is impossible Michael but sometimes I I just need to believe it. I can still hear your voice. I remember your voice so clearly. I remember specific conversations. I remember so many things. I hope I will always remember.
I love you so much honey. I'm always going to wish you could come home. I am always going to be sad knowing you can't. I am always going to miss you.
I love you forever my Baby Boy
Love, Mama ☮

March 30, 2021

My Sweet, Beautiful Boy,
The holidays have passed, a new year has begun. All things that most people look forward to and celebrate. These occasions just aren't the same and never will be because you are not here. We stayed home because of the pandemic. That was fine because I wasn't in the mood to go anywhere.
I've been keeping myself busy as usual, although life is kinda screwed up because of the pandemic. I miss being able to do things freely and not worry. I only go into stores when I need to and go to restaurants on occasion and only on off times so there won't be a ton of people there. I just don't want to get this damn virus because if it's anything like when I get the flu then it's going to suck!
I hope you are taking good care of Rudy. I'm sure he's as bossy as ever!! Give him a hug from me and tell him that I love him please.
I love you so much Michael. I need one of your hugs more than anything right now. I miss your hugs. I miss everything about you honey. I love you so, so much.
Love you forever, Mama

February 2, 2021

Hello My Beautiful Boy,
November 1st marked 7 years and 5 months. It passed several weeks ago. Infact, December 1st is probably about a week or so away. I have been thinking about this entry, yet putting it off day after day. Sometimes it is easier for me to not have to deal with reality. Although I "speak" to you every day and know that you are no longer here on Earth, I have to admit that sometimes I feel as though you are still away living in California. Of course I know this isn't true honey, but it's easier on my heart .... until reality snacks me upside the head.
Thursday is Thanksgiving so reality is in full force. The holiday sadness has kicked in and I'm sure it'll last through Christmas.
So, as I'm sure you know by now Baby Boy ....Rudy aka...Baby Dog has joined you. I am certain Rudy was very, very excited to see you and Pup because he loved you guys! He was such a "guy dog"! We were sad to see him go, but right before he left I asked him to give my love to you and Pup....I hope he didn't forget
With Thanksgiving just a few days away I just want you to know that I am thankful that I was chosen to be your Mama. Thankful for every moment we shared together. Thankful for every memory I hold of you in my heart.
I love you Michael Francis Arthur. I love you more than you could have possibly imagined. And I miss you more than any words could ever explain.
Love You Forever,
Mama ,❤☮❤

Laura

Family

November 24, 2020

My Beautiful Boy,
Today marks 7 years and 4 months that my heart has continued to beat without yours. I honestly thought I would cease to exist if God forbid anything tragic ever happened to you. I didn't think it would be humanly possible for me to survive without you, yet here I am and I know that although my heart is forever broken, it continues to beat for a reason and that reason is for me to keep your memory alive.
It is an easy job to do with your friends honey as they are wonderful at keeping in touch with me. They love you and miss you so much.
Everyone is getting married, buying houses, having babies...ughhh... I'm filled with so many emotions Michael. I'm truly happy for everyone, but deeply saddened when I think that you are missing out on all of these things.
I love you so very much Michael. I would do anything to turn back time, to make this all be a big, bad dream. I wish you were here more than anything else. I love you more than anything else or anyone else.
I miss you my Baby Boy.
Love You Forever,
Mama xo ☮

October 1, 2020

Hello My Beautiful Boy,
August 1st was several weeks ago. It marked 7 years and 2 months without honey. I've heard from a few of your friends recently. Kitty just finished training with the post office and is a letter carrier now. I'm so proud and happy!! Paid vacation, sick time and benefits....such a good thing!! I have been messaging with your high school friend Jimmy. He's such a sweet kid. He's married now. He thinks about you all the time. Emmy got engaged recently and so did Corey. Seeing how your friends have grown up and are doing the normal adult things in life is bittersweet. I cannot lie. I am honestly thrilled and happy for them, yet my heart aches that you cannot be here to congratulate them and celebrate at their weddings. My soul is crushed because you will never experience an engagement or wedding of your own in this life with all of us that love you.
I miss you every day Michael. Every moment. Loving you is easier than breathing. Missing you is an indescribable feeling. A numbness and severe pain all at once which doesn't seem to make sense...hence the indescribable part.
Ohh, how I wish I could change everything my love.
Love you forever.
Mama ☮

August 29, 2020

Hello My Beautiful Son,
So today, July 24, 2020 is your 32nd Birthday. I have no doubt that you are celebrating in a spectacular way my dear as you always loved to celebrate your Birthday!! I started the day off good and then hit a wall and just needed to be alone. Missing you is tough honey. July 1st was 7 years and 1 month and I can honestly say that I feel like I am moving backwards in my grief journey.
I love you so very much Michael. Happy Birthday my love.
Love you forever sweet Baby Boy.
Mama xoxo

Laura

July 24, 2020

My Beautiful Michael,
Monday June 1, 2020 marked seven long years without you. It seems like forever yet it has flown by quickly at the same time. I received so many beautiful and thoughtful messages from your friends. They love you so much and truly miss you. You left a lasting impression on so many of them and it is honestly heartwarming. It makes me so happy. So proud to know how important you were and still are in their lives.
You will always be remembered Michael. Never forgotten. You were to loved. To special. I just wish you were still here honey.
I will love you forever honey and someday we will be together again.
I love you and miss you more than words can ever describe.
Your Loving Mama ☮

June 4, 2020

My Beautiful Michael,
May first marked six years and eleven months. Yesterday was Mother's Day. Certainly not one of my favorite days. George likes to take me away which is a welcome distraction but with the virus and quarantine hotels and restaurants are closed. Since restaurants can do takeout George took me for a lobster roll. It was a sunny day so we sat outside and ate it. He surprised me and brought along a bottle of wine. He's so thoughtful. I got so many lovely text messages from friends wishing me a Happy Mother's Day and letting me know that they know it's a tough day for me and they were thinking of me. Caitlin sent me a beautiful message telling me I was one of the best Mamas she knew and thanking me for bringing you into the world. All the messages I received honestly meant the world to me. Sometimes I feel like people forget that it's still my day to. They forget that I am still a Mother and that I will always be a Mother. It's my job to make sure that you are never, ever forgotten my beautiful Boy. It's hurtful that people close to me forget to acknowledge that I'm a Mom because I feel it's like not acknowledging you. Ohhh, I can't help but be sensitive. I love you and miss you so much. It's so hard to navigate life without you.
I closed my eyes the other day and pictured your face and voice. It was so real to me that I was smiling and crying all at the same time. I would give anything to have you back Michael.
I will love you forever my Baby Boy, Mama

May 11, 2020

Hello My Beautiful Boy,
April 1st marked 6 very long years and 10 very long months without you here on Earth. It has been crazy here honey. I keep picking up my phone to call you and tell you to wash you hands, stay inside, stay away from people.....then I have to remind myself that you are safe and healthy. You are free from this horrible virus that is plaguing mankind. You would hate this honey. Having to stay indoors. Having to stay away from your friends and family. It sucks, but it needs to be done and we will get through it. I feel badly for Nan and Auntie because they live alone. I have George and Rudy & Enzo...thank goodness.
So Caitlin and Tom's baby boy is due next month. It's a baby boy. I sent them your Osh Gosh baby denim overalls and they were so thrilled and very emotional. I knew they would appreciate them and I honestly wanted them to go to someone who truly knew you and they both did. It made my heart very happy, as well it did theirs.
Being stuck at home, not working has given me lots of extra time. Lord knows I do not do well with extra time on my hands!! Needless to say I have been super weepy, going through old pictures, thinking about us and all the things we did.....we really did have a nice life kiddo....don't get me wrong you flipping drove me crazy, but boy oh boy, we did so many fun things and went on so many great trips!! I'm laughing right now as I type this because I'm thinking that your response to me saying that you drove me crazy would've been that I drove you crazy!!!.....Truth is we drove each other crazy...we were so close. I'm so grateful for every moment we had together Michael. I wish we could have had so many more.
I love you so much Michael and miss you with every part of my heart and soul.
Love You Forever, Mama

April 21, 2020

Hi Honey,
Today marks six years and 9 months that I have had to manage moving forward without you physically being here on Earth. I did something I think you will be very proud of. Something that took almost 7 years for me to do. It's long overdue but I had to do this on my own time. Quite frankly I am surprised that I was able to do it at all. I unpacked your boxes of clothes. I washed, dried, folded and bagged them up. Later in the week I brought them to The Plymouth Coalition for The Homeless to be donated. I know you would want this Michael. You have always been a generous person. Giving of yourself, your time, your belongings. It made my heart feel happy. I felt good for the both of us Michael. It was the right thing to do and I truly felt good about it. No sadness or guilt about giving your things away. I did keep a few things for myself that I can wear. I love everything I kept ❣
I miss you so much Michael. I love you more than words can express.
Love You Forever My Beautiful Son ❣☮
Mama

March 1, 2020

Hello My Beautiful Boy,
Today marks 6 years 8 months since you moved on. I honestly cannot wrap my head around it. Days, weeks, months and years pass by. Time moves forward. We all continue on. It's crazy to think that a parent who has lost a child can pick up the pieces of their lives and carry on. It is not that simple. I am struggling. I miss you more each day. It just doesn't get easier.
I love you so much Michael. Please continue to send me signs honey. I really appreciate them. They mean everything to me.
I Love You Michael, Peace
Mama ❣☮

February 1, 2020

Hello Honey,
Today not only marks 6 years and 7 months. Today is the first day of the new year. Today is the first day of 2020. I always feel out of sorts on the first day of of each month and today is no exception, infact today I felt in a funk. New Year's Day just reminds me that I am starting yet another year without you. A cruel reminder that time moves forward, life goes on and you are not here with the people who love you so much.
I do know that you are also incredibly loved in your new life surrounded by all your family and friends who have moved on from Earth as well. I know that you had a wonderful Christmas and an amazing New Year celebration because everything is happy where you are. You are happy. You are safe. You are healthy. I will never have to worry about you ever again, but it sucks because I know you had a lot left to do here that you never got to do. It sucks because I miss you so much.
I love you Michael. I will love you forever my Beautiful Boy.
Love & Peace, Mama ❣☮

January 1, 2020

My Beautiful Michael,
I completely missed our November entry which marked 6 years and 5 months and it is long past December 1st which marked 6 years and 6 months. Time just keeps ticking on by my love.
It's almost Christmas. George, me, Rudy and Enzo are staying home this year. Auntie Donna and Steven are coming down and staying over our house for Christmas. It will be nice to spend time with them. You will be in our hearts. Our thoughts. You will be with us honey. Always and forever a very important part of our family.
I have been working hard to "embrace Christmas" this year. It is a struggle, but for the most part I have done well. George and I have had so many invites and opportunities to do new things and meet new people, make new friends and get involved in our little town. It seems that the holidays quadruple all the invites and although it has been emotionally draining at times, I have managed to make it to today, the 22nd of December with only a few major meltdowns.
I will never feel super jolly on the holidays. I can't. It's honestly impossible for me. I simply miss you too much. I wish I could hug you Michael. If only for a few seconds. I would take it. I don't want anything for Christmas. I never do. But I want that. A simple hug from my son. I wish I could have that. I would give anything .
I love you so much Michael. I miss you so very, very much.
Merry Christmas My Beautiful Boy ❣☮
Love You Forever, Mama

December 22, 2019

Hello my Beautiful Boy,
Six years and four months was on the first of October. The month of October is almost over. It's been a busy one with lots of ups and downs. The weather has been decent thank goodness so seasonal sadness hasn't kicked in yet on top of my daily sadness of missing you. George and I had a busy fall with our vintage motorcycle groups and even went on a camp and ride...yes, your Mama went camping and had a blast!! Ok, it was in a very nice RV, but it was still camping!! I know that you are proud kiddo!!
Nan had eye surgery and is doing great. Her hip still bothers her from the break, which is a bummer, but she's doing well otherwise. I need to get out to San Diego for a visit this winter. Uncle Tony, Kim and the girls moved again. They needed a bigger house according to Auntie Kim! I'm trying to convince Auntie Donna to move close to George and me. She's about an hour and ten minute drive away. She loves it where she is but Matthew and Andrew live in New York and Steven has told her that he's not sure where he will be down the road. Right now he's in the Sturbridge area. I just want my sister close by. So much going on in our family honey, but I'm sure you must know all this already as I know that you are looking out for us all.
Please know my Love that you are still, and will always be a much loved member of our family. We all love you so much and miss you more than words can describe.
I love you Michael. Thoughts of you make me smile. Laugh. Cry. They sometimes make me question choices I made. More crying. I cannot change the past. Cannot rewrite history. Cannot turn the clock back.
Ohhhh, but how I wish I could my Beautiful Boy. You are so very missed and incredibly loved.
Forever, Mama ☮

October 29, 2019

My Beautiful Michael,
It seems that I missed our August entry. I honestly don't know how or why I missed it and I am terribly sorry. I am incredibly late for this September entry and I can say that unlike August, I have an excuse and it is simply that I have been procrastinating. It is getting harder and harder for me to acknowledge the amount of time you have been gone. With that being said, I still feel the need to do so. I'm not sure why. I just need to. Everything has become harder for me. Even looking at pictures of you which is what I love to do. I find that I am only able to look at them for a few short seconds before I start to cry. This is something new. I used to be able to look at pictures of you, reminice about the moment the picture was taken or what was going on and usually smile, laugh or even cry happy tears. I certainly hope that I will be able to do that again sometime. I'm sure I will. I think this is a funk I am going through and in time I will feel better adjusted. It's not easy living each day without my favorite person. Living with a giant whole in my heart. I try to do my best Michael. Some days are definitely tougher than others kiddo so if you happen to notice that I'm having one of those tougher days can you please do me a favor and send me a sign?
I love you so much Baby Boy & I miss you more than words can describe.
Love You Forever, Mama ☮

September 23, 2019

My Beautiful Michael,
Today is your 31st Birthday. Although the day you were born was the happiest day ever for me, I have had a very hard day today. I simply cannot wrap my head around the fact that you would have been 31. It just seems so grown up. I can't help but wonder what you would be doing. Would you be married? Would you have kids? Would you still be living in California? I feel so sad that you didn't get the chance to do any of those things in this life. It's so unfair honey. You were cheated. I was too. Your friends were and your family. Especially Nan. She misses you so much.
I got lots of messages from your friends today. They all love you and they really miss you. I appreciate that they reach out to me.
I know how much you love to celebrate your Birthday Honey. I hope that you have a wonderful celebration My Love.
Happy 31st Birthday Michael xoxo
I love you so much ❣☮❣
Love You Forever, Mama

July 24, 2019

My Sweet Boy,
Six years and One month came and went on July 1st. As you know, summertime is particularly tough for me. I miss you all the time, but I feel incredibly sad for you during the summer. I cannot help but think back to our last conversation. How you had been looking forward to the summer. All your hopes. All your plans. My heart aches knowing that you never got a chance to do any of those things.
I'm keeping busy Michael. Busy is good. It helps to keep me from giving into my sadness. There are plenty of days that I want to give in and simply stay in bed all day but I haven't. I know if I give in just once I may never b able to get myself up and going again.
I am so very thankful for all the goodness in my life. I am able to manage my sadness because I am surrounded by love. I am also so thankful to still feel your love honey. The signs you send truly warm and comfort my heart.
Mama Loves You Baby,
Mama xoxo

July 17, 2019

Ohh My Beautiful Boy, Yesterday was the 6 year mark. I honestly cannot believe how it can be. There are days that seem as if you were just here. There are also days that seem as though you have not been here for so very, very long. Six years is a lifetime. Six years is torture. I miss you so much Michael. George and I spent the day together. A quiet day. Out for lunch. The traditional lobster roll. And wine. Lots of wine. We toast to you. We talk about you. My favorite subject. My favorite person. I love you Michael. I still have a difficult time wrapping my brain around the fact that you have died. Even after 6 years. As you know, I always worried about you like a crazy, over-protective Mother...thank you for being such a good sport about it btw... losing you, my only child, the love and light of my life was truly my biggest fear. It actually happened. It seems beyond unfair. I wanted so much more for you. You deserved so much more Michael, but the Universe thought otherwise. I hope, well quite frankly I know, that you acknowledged yesterday in some sort of grand way. Your arrival day into your new life I'm sure was a reason to celebrate as all is good there. Please give Papa a hug from me. We will all be there together some day my love. Until then, I will do my best here. It's not always easy without you. Thank goodness for George and wonderful family and friends. The dogs keep me busy and I work a couple days a week and absolutely love my job. Remember how you hated that I had to work so hard because it was just me and you? Well, you would be so happy honey...my life has changed so much since getting married. My life would be perfect... just perfect...if you didn't die honey.
I love you so much Baby Boy. So very much.
Forever and Ever, Mama ❣☮

June 2, 2019

Hello My Beautiful Boy,
Five years and eleven months has passed several weeks ago. Things have been busy here. Nan was visiting from California and Auntie stayed at our house her entire visit so we could all be together. We had a great time. Nan was here during Easter so George and I had everyone at our house. Steven and Andrew came which was wonderful. I haven't seen the boys in so long. Steven is a science teacher now and Andrew lives in New York and is an interpreter for the deaf at the college he went to. It was great to see the boys, but it made me miss you even more. I'm not even sure it's possible to miss you more Michael, or be any sadder, but I somehow feel worse at times.
On a happy note....on Wednesday May 15th George and I attended awards night at your high school and l presented the 6th annual Michael F. Arthur Memorial Scholarship. I know you were there looking out for me and I thank you for your help honey. I truly was a wreck this year. I left my speech at home and I was in tears when I was called to the podium to present. I know that the warmth and calm feeling that came over me so suddenly was you my beautiful boy. I'm honestly grateful for every sign you send. Please keep them coming. Your signs help me get on without you.
I love you so much honey.
Forever & Ever, Mama ❣❣❣❣

May 23, 2019

Hello My Beautiful Boy,
I missed our March entry. Not on purpose. Infact, I had no idea that I had missed it until I went to write the April entry. Here it is the last day of April and it is my third attempt at writing this. Each time I was interrupted and lost what I wrote to you before I could finish and send. I honestly don't know how I missed March Honey. I'm so sorry my Love. April, on the other hand has been a very busy month. Auntie Donna had been staying with us while she was getting ready to move into her new place and stayed on when Nan arrived from San Diego. It's has been great having us girls all together. George even enjoys it too! Steven and Andrew came down for Easter. I was very happy to have the boys here, but it made me think of old times and miss you even more.
Five years and nine months have passed. Five years and ten months have passed. The 5 year mark was tough, but I'm pretty sure 6 is worse. Last Birthday was your 30th. That was a real, real tough one Kiddo, but I absolutely sure that your 31st will be worse. "Thirty-Something". How can that possibly be?
I love you so much Michael. Missing you is such a struggle. My heart aches constantly. I just love you so very, very much my Beautiful Son.
Love You Forever, Mama ☮❣

April 30, 2019

Hi Honey,
February 1st marked 5 years and eight months since you moved on. I have been in a bit of a funk. More so than my typical winter funk. I have been feeling very sad. Much sadder than usual. Looking at or speaking with me no one would know. I manage to hide my sadness and keep it to myself for the most part. Not many people can relate to how I am feeling. It's an uncomfortable conversation for people. Even for people who knew you very well. Even if they were a big part of your life and love you and miss you. I guess it's to painful for some people to talk about you. I on the other hand absolutely love to talk about you Michael. As you know, I still talk to you every day. I talk about you to the people who I know will happily listen and I talk about you to Rudy and Enzo.
I am thankful for all the signs you have been sending me lately. Obviously you must know that I need them now more than ever! Another great boost I got recently was a letter from The Weymouth Scholarship Committee letting me know that Justin made a donation in your memory. It was so sweet and thoughtful of him. You are incredibly loved Michael.
I love you honey. I just really miss you and some days the pain in my heart is overwhelming. I feel like I can't catch my breath. The good thing is that you are fine. You are safe. You are free of pain, stress, fear, negativity. You are surrounded by love, joy, beauty, total bliss.
I love you Baby Boy, I will Love You Forever, Mama xoxoxo ☮

February 19, 2019

Hi Honey,
I am weeks overdue with this entry. This time of year is brutal. The holiday season sucks. I hate everything about it and try my best to fake being somewhat pleasant as not to ruin it for others. Truth is, I first started to dread the holidays after Papa died. They just weren't the same without him. Then when you died too the joy of the holidays was completely gone. There is no joy without you Michael. I am grateful for all the wonderful Christmases we shared, but I'm so sad you are not here now and I am so sad that we will never share another Christmas together in this lifetime.
George and me went to Portland, Maine with Rudy and Enzo for our "non Christmas". We had a nice time just spending time together and "not doing Christmas". Being with the dogs helps my heart. Being their Dog Mom helps me to fill my need to nurture.
I cannot stop thinking about you lately honey. I think about you all the time, but even more so lately. I wonder what you would be doing at this point in your life. Some days I still can't believe you are gone.
I love you Michael. I miss you so much that there are days when every inch of my body aches. I actually feel physical pain. Grieving sucks in so many ways, but grief comes from love and as I have promised you... I will never allow my grief to become bigger than my love.
Love You Forever, Mama ♥ xoxo

January 17, 2019

My Beautiful Boy,
I did not forget that December 1st marked five and a half years my love. It has weighed quite heavily on my heart. So much time with out you actually here. I feel as though I live each day waiting. Anticipating. Sitting on the edge of my seat. Sadly, I am waiting for the impossible. I'm waiting for you. Waiting for you to call. To text. Mostly I'm waiting to simply turn my head and see you right beside me. I know that you will always be with me honey and I truly appreciate all the signs you send me (please keep them coming) but I wish I could have you back. I miss you so much Michael. I love you more than you will ever know.
Love You Forever, Mama xoxo

December 15, 2018

Yesterday was Thanksgiving.
I dread the holidays since you've been gone, but I am, have always been, and will always be thankful that you are my Son and I am your Mama.

November 23, 2018

Hello My Sweet Boy,
This is my third attempt at posting a November entry. Somehow my first two tries didn't go through. Hopefully the third time is a charm!!
So it's been 5 years and 5 months. Ugggg.... time just ticks on by without you kiddo. It sucks.
A few weeks ago at Hope Floats one of the new Moms in group said that she was scared that people would forget about her son as time goes by. We all assured her that we all have the same fear and that it is our job to help keep our child's memory active. Later on that night I was flipping through Instagram and came across a post from your friend Chris Parker. He posted the picture if you and him in the city and you are piggy back riding on his shoulders and his dog is looking at you guys. He wrote a captain about it "always being his favorite picture of you guys, he loves you, you left to soon, and he and Kitty will always think of you". His timing was perfect. Five+ years and your friends are randomly thinking about you and missing you. You truly were a special person to so many people Michael. Chris' post made my day and I let him know that of course.
I love you so much Michael. I miss you so much that every part of me hurts. I miss talking to you. Hearing your voice. I miss your hugs.
Knowing that I will see you again some day is everything. When I see you I'm going to hug you so tight and cover your beautiful face with kisses. I'm going to drive you crazy, but you're just going to have to put up with me!!! Ohhhhh Michael, I just love you so much honey. I love you so, so much.
Love You Forever, Mama xoxo ☮

November 19, 2018

November 8, 2018

Hello My Beautiful Boy,
This morning I was driving and I was super weepy. Later in the day I realized that once again it's the first of the month. It's strange how my sadness seems to have a time clock of it's own. The tears will simply flow or I will feel completely out of sorts and somehow, someway I can connect it to a trigger date.
Ohhh kiddo, it will never change. I'm always going to miss you like crazy.
Hey, on a happy note, you would be so proud of me!! I went completely out of my comfort zone and tried something I thought I might enjoy. I took a 2 day CanAm training class and I passed with flying colors!! I can hear your voice in my head saying "do what makes you happy Mama" and I'm honestly trying my best honey.
I know that it is possible to live with both grief and joy, but it's not always easy.
I love you so much Michael. I love you honey.
I just absolutely love you and miss you.
Mama ❣☮

October 1, 2018

Hello My Love,
As you already know, summertime is a difficult season for me. This one was no different except that there were added layers of sadness. There has been to much loss of life and my heart aches for all the lives that are touched by these losses. I honestly cannot deal with attending another wake and funeral. The tradition itself is so awfully sad and I will never regret my decision to say farewell and honor and celebrate your life in a way that you would have wanted. It was perfect and I felt so much love for you.
Speaking of love for you. I received a beautiful letter from Emy on your Birthday. It truly was an amazing gift. Her words are heartfelt, funny, grateful. Her love for you is forever. This was the second letter I received from her. She also confessed that you snuck out of the house and met her several nights a week all during high school!!! I can't believe that I never knew!!
Oh honey, how I wish more than anything that I could turn back time. Change where things have ended up today. I love you and I miss you more than I can ever describe in words. You will always be my favorite person ever.
Mama Loves You Baby Boy

September 3, 2018

Miss you lately buddy. Can't help but think about how different things would be with you still here. You were always there for me even when I was being a selfish fool. I remember you for the oh so many good times we had and I will never forget you. I look to the future and think about how badly this world needs people like you in it. I hope that I can rise up and be that kind of a person going forward. I've had some troubled times recently and wish you were here to be a voice on the end of the line or better yet give me a smack on the back of the head and snap me out of it. Have a hard time imagining you smacking anyone but if you did it would be me as of late. This isn't a space for me to gripe about my personal issues but I just wanted to say I miss you and thank you for all the things you taught me in our time together. You were a friend a friend would like to have and I hope to make you proud to have called me one going forward. We can't change the past but we can change the future and I will fight for what is right in your honor. Love ya buddy.J

J Co

August 21, 2018

Hello Michael,
I never did check in on July 1st which marked 5 years and 1 month, but I would never miss checking in today, July 24, 2018 which is your 30th Birthday. I cannot believe it honey. I wonder what you would be doing as a 30 year old man. Would you have moved back to Massachusetts or would you still be in California? Would you be married? Have a baby? Would you have figured out your career path? I wish I didn't have to wonder about all these things. I wish I didn't have to live in dreams and denial most days just to survive without you.
I am certain that you are having an epic party today. You loved celebrating your Birthday and I sure you always will. Happy 30th Birthday my Sweet Baby Boy.
I love you so much.
Love You Forever, Mama ☮

July 24, 2018

Hi Honey,
The Five Year Mark came and went several weeks ago. The 5 year 1 month mark is actually in a few days. Somehow the days kept slipping by. I knew I needed to check in. I knew I wanted to check in. I guess I was hoping that if I didn't check in then it wasn't real. Sadly, it is real. It is all so very real my beautiful boy. Five very long, lonely years here on Earth without you, however, it's been five amazingly beautiful, peaceful years for you. I am thankful for that. Thankful that you are living in the next life and enjoying complete and total happiness and joy. You deserve that my love. I love you so much Michael. I miss you more than you could ever imagine. I will love you forever my beautiful son ❣☮
Love, Mama xoxo

June 28, 2018

Hello My Love,
May 1st, which marked 4 years and 11 months was almost 2 weeks ago. May has been a busy month and within the past few days it has turned into a terrible month.
First with the busy part... Awards Night at the high school is always scheduled in the beginning of the month. I worked hard on my speech for the presentation of The Fifth Annual Michael F Arthur Memorial Scholarship. I was a nervous wreck standing at podium (as usual) trying my best not to cry telling the auditorium full of students, parents and faculty a story about my beautiful son. This year I chose to speak about your generosity. George said that I did a great job. In fact I made him cry. He was very proud.
Now for the terrible part....on Thursday our very close friend Diane and her dog Blitz were killed instantly in a head on collision. I'm sure you will meet up with them soon. Please welcome them and show them lots of love. I know that I don't need to say that, it's just the way it is in the new life, but it's a "Mama thing" so I said it anyway!!
I love you so very, very much Baby. I miss you so very, very much Baby. I could really use one of your hugs right now.
Today is Mother's Day and I will be thinking of you even more than usual.
I will love you forever and ever my Beautiful Boy
Love, Mama ❣☮❣

May 13, 2018

Hello My Beautiful, Beautiful Boy. Although I think of you constantly, I will admit that I have been putting off this entry. April 1st marked four years and ten months. As each day passes it brings me closer to the five year mark and five years is so long. It is weighing heavily on my heart. My anxiety is sky high, I'm super weepy, overly sensitive, and easily irritated. I hate everyone and everything. I honestly cannot believe that it's been almost five years since we actually spoke to each other. Since I hugged you. My God, I miss you so much honey. This hole in my heart can never be filled. When I see you again my Beautiful Boy is when my heart will be whole again.I love you beyond any words could ever describe or explain. Love You Forever, Mama ☮xoxoxo

April 11, 2018

Hi Honey,
The four year and nine months mark has passed. The winter is dragging on with lots of storms. Today I am home for a snow day. No work. The restaurant is closed.
Saturday night there was a surprise 30th Birthday party for Justin. We didn't end up going because I have just gotten over the flu and I honestly didn't have the energy to go. I cannot believe that you boys are turning 30. It seems like just yesterday that you guys were goofing around pretending you were WWF Wrestlers and driving Sandi and me crazy. I can't help but think of your 30th Birthday honey. You absolutely loved to celebrate your Birthday. I feel like I will have to do something very special to honor you this year. It will be very bittersweet my love. If you were here on earth I would want to do something special for you, so I honestly feel I still need to do something special. I need to put some thought into it. To come up with a perfect way to celebrate your Birthday, to celebrate the life you lived, to celebrate you, my beautiful boy.
I love you so much Michael.
Love You Forever, Mama ☮❣

March 13, 2018

Hello My Love,
I'm a bit late this month kiddo. February 1st was over a week ago. Four years and eight months. Wow, sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes it feels like forever. Sometimes it feels unreal and sometimes it feels painfully, brutally honest. I have so many feelings and thoughts Michael. I have good days and bad days. The only thing I know for certain is that you definitely deserved more time on Earth and that you are incredibly missed. I also am certain that you have moved on to the next life and it is a beautiful and perfect life. Unlike life on Earth where amongst the joy there is also pain and sorrow. I know for certain that you are happy. You are loved. You are forever healthy and safe. Yes, this is comforting to me as your Mama, because I love you so very much honey. You are ok my love. Hanging out with Papa and friends who have also moved on.
I miss you so much baby, but if I knew on the day you were born that you were leaving so soon I would not have changed a thing. I treasure every moment we had, yes even the dreadful teenage moments...and there were plenty!
You will always be my favorite person in the entire world. Always and Forever.
I Love you Honey, Mama ☮

February 10, 2018

Hello My Beautiful Son,
Today not only marks four years and seven months since you have left this earth but it is also the first day of a new year. It is 2018 my love and the start of a new year is so bittersweet for me. It's hard to celebrate and look forward to a new year knowing that you will not be here with us yet with each passing year it brings me closer to seeing you again.
We didn't go to California for Christmas this year. Nan came out for Thanksgiving so we will go out later in the winter. George, me, Rudy and Enzo went to Maine. Just the four of us. I can never, ever have what I truly want for Christmas, so I would rather just skip it all together. This year I wanted to avoid it completely as it was your fifth Christmas away from us. I just wanted to be with George and "the boys" our little family.... as silly as it seems. It was exactly what I needed. We met wonderful people. Not everyone has family to be with on Christmas Eve and Christmas. I couldn't have what I wanted ....you, my love...but I had a great "Non-Christmas" as I called it.
On the drive up I fell asleep as usual. I woke myself up from a dream because I was smiling so big and hard. Since you have been gone I have not seen you in any of my dreams. I have had dreams that I have known you were present but I didn't actually see you. I would wake up and feel happy and sad all at the same time. I was glad you were there but sad that I could not see your beautiful face. Well, on the drive to Maine you were in my dream. Your hair was long, shaggy and curly. You had a baby carrier strapped to the front of you carrying a blonde shaggy, curly haired baby. I was so happy to see you and your baby. I asked how you and Caitlin could possibly have such a blonde baby when you both had such dark hair. A voice said "Caitlin doesn't live here"....I woke up smiling shortly thereafter. I just remember being so happy that you were a Dad. It was a beautiful dream.
I've always believed that you are doing what you love in your new life. You always wanted to be a Dad and I know that you are a wonderful Dad.
I truly love you so very much Michael. You are my everything, my entire world and I will love you forever my Beautiful Boy.
Mama ☮❣

January 1, 2018

Hi My Love, Four years and six months was almost 2 weeks ago. Every day I have told myself that I should write in your Guest Book but every day I told myself that I would do it tomorrow. I'm officially in my holiday funk and I guess I didn't want to write it down. You already know about my funk since I talk to you each day my love. I hope you understand that it's inevitable. I'm sure you must. Holidays suck. They always will. I want nothing more than to avoid them completely. George has finally stopped asking me what I want for gifts for any occasion because I can never, ever have the one and only thing that I want. I love you Michael. When I think about you I can hear your voice. I can remember certain conversations that make me laugh, make me angry, make me cry. I hope I always remember these. I hope I remember everything. I think about you all the time. You will always be the biggest most important part of my life. That has not changed. That will never change.I love you more each day Michael and I miss you more each second that ticks by.Love you honey. Forever & Ever, Mama ☮

December 10, 2017

Hi Honey,
The 4 year 5 month mark was several days ago. Nan arrived from San Diego last week. She looks great. Whenever I mention you her eyes fill up with tears. She misses you so much. We all miss you Michael.
It's the start of the holiday season which is dreadful. This time of year just makes my heart ache even more. I hope it all flies by real quick.
I love you honey. I miss you every moment.
I wish I could hug you tight and kiss your beautiful face.
Love You Forever, Mama ❣☮❣

November 15, 2017

My Sweet Baby Boy,
October 1st marked four years and four months since you left this life to move forward to your next life. Although life on Earth moves ahead it is not without thoughts of you. Every step I take I think of you Michael. I always will. I did when you were here and I will forever continue to do so now that you have left. I love you my sweet Boy. I miss you. Everything about you I miss. I have so much love in my life. So much joy and happiness. My life would be perfect if you were here Michael. I wish you were here.
I love you Michael. Mama loves you so very much.
❣☮❤

October 10, 2017

Hello My Love,
September 1st marked 4 years and 3 months. I have been keeping myself busy. Busy is good. I've been ridiculously busy for the past 4 years, 3 months and 11 days. Sometimes I'm busy to the point of exhaustion so I can just fall asleep. It's how I deal with missing you. It works for now. I Love you so very much Michael. I wish more than anything that I could change time and circumstances. I am so very sorry how life on earth ended so early for you. I miss you more than you could ever imagine. I love you Baby Boy. I will love you forever.
Love, Mama ❣☮❣xoxo

September 11, 2017

My Beautiful Michael,
The First of the month has come and gone. Four years and two months on August 1, 2017. I often wonder how I've managed to get through these days and years without you. I get through them because of the great love we felt for each other and the strong bond between us. It is my respect for you and those feelings that keep me going. Not moving forward, not smiling, laughing and enjoying life would be terribly disrespectful towards you. There are days that are tough. Days that I cannot deal with much, I just want to stay home, not see other people, talk to other people, days that it's impossible to smile. I know that you allow me these days every so often I know that you understand that I love you so much that it is impossible for me to not have these days. My heart is missing you so much every day honey, but as I promised you many times....My saddness will never be, could never be bigger than my love for you, because my love for you is beyond measure.
Love you forever my Beautiful Son ❣☮
Mama xoxo

August 9, 2017

My Beautiful Son, This past Monday, July 24, 2017 was your 29th Birthday. George took the day off from work and we took a drive down the Cape. We decided to take Rudy and Enzo with us even though it was pouring rain outside and we wouldn't be able to take them for a walk. They'd rather sit in the truck waiting for us instead of being home alone. We had lunch and I got a lobster roll like I always do on your Birthday. I thought about you all day, which is nothing different for me. I talked about you more than usual because the day was about celebrating you. I told George and Nan that I think your 29th Birthday would have been extra special for you. You always loved to celebrate your Birthday and you didn't outgrow that as an adult... hahaha...so it is my guess that your 29th Birthday celebration, the last in your 20's certainly would be quite a party!!! I hope that you celebrated with all the people that you love and who love you in your new life Michael. All of us back here celebrated you with smiles, laughs, heavy hearts and a few tears. You are missed, you are loved, you will never be forgotten. Happy Birthday Michael xoxoI will love you forever my Beautiful Boy, Mama ❣☮

July 30, 2017

Hello My Sweet Boy,
July 1st, 4 years and 1 month has come and gone. Summertime is in full swing and that dread that I feel deep inside me is as well. Yesterday I saw someone that reminded me of you. A few weeks ago a woman, who clearly had some type of connection with those who have passed randomly started telling me things about you. It was so confusing at first and then it all made sense. One of the things she said was that I often see people who remind me of you (which is true) and that is your way of letting me know that you are always nearby. She said not to be sad when I see these look alikes, but happy. Yesterday you were nearby. Thank you honey. You know how much I love you and miss you and appreciate every sign you send me. Please keep them coming my love.Love You Forever Michael, Mama ❣☮❣

July 10, 2017

My Beautiful Boy,Thursday marked 4 years. Four whole years. Four very long years. It hit me particularly hard. I'm not sure why this number of years is so painful. My heart is heavier. I am sadder. I miss you more than ever. I love you more than you could ever know. I feel so overly sensitive. I can't stand people saying stupid things on a good day, but I'm ready to jump out of my skin listening to stupid stuff. The one thing that would make everything better is the only thing that I cannot have. I just miss you so much honey.All my love forever, Mama ❣☮❣☮ xoxo

June 4, 2017

My Beautiful Son,
Three years and eleven months was on May 1st. It is also George's Birthday on May 1st and it is not easy for me to be upbeat. The first of each month is always difficult for me. We were in St. John on vacation on the first. I left your ashes on several gorgeous beaches. I also left you on other islands and in the beautiful clear Caribbean waters. We can add Jost Van Duke, Virgin Gorda and Tortola to the long list of places that your family and friends have brought you to. Auntie Donna is bringing you to Ireland in a few weeks.
You remain a big and important part of our family and you always will. I love you so much Michael and I always will. I miss you so much Michael and I miss you more as life moves forward.
Love you forever, Mama ❣☮❣

May 9, 2017

Hi Honey,
It's that time of month again. A little past it actually. Three years and ten months. I've been having these very vivid memories that are randomly popping into my head. Memories of you and me doing things together. The memories come to me exactly how they happened. They are so real that I literally hear sounds, feel textures, smell scents. It's as though I am back in the moment. They are not dreams as these memories come to me while I'm awake. They bring me many emotions Michael. Amazing joy to be with you. To see you, hear you, feel you. Then total saddness facing the reality of our situation. I'm not sure why the memories started, but I'm glad they did inspite of the saddness. They are precious to me. They are so real. I treasure them. I haven't seen you in my dreams Michael. I have been aware of your presence in some of my dreams, but I haven't actually seen you, so these memories popping into my head are awesome.
I love you so much Michael. I will love you forever my beautiful boy.
Mama ❣❣❣☮

April 5, 2017

March 6, 2017

Hello My Gorgeous Son,
March first marked three years and nine months. Still not getting any easier. Never will.
Thank you so much for all the strength and guidance you have provided me recently. I know that you must be proud of my becoming a Group Leader at Hope Floats. I never would have volunteered to help other parents in a bereavement group. I truly would never have thought that I would be capable. I feel like I'm a total mess most days Michael. Even when people are telling me that they "admire my strength" or say "you are such a strong woman Laura", I'm thinking to myself...."you have no flipping idea how I fall to pieces each day". Apparently Denise who runs HF saw something in me that I did not know existed within myself and she was right because being a Group Leader is definitely something I can do, and do well. It is so very close to my heart and I get as much as I feel I give. Now I know why you enjoyed doing volunteer work so much. It truly makes your heart and soul feel good. Funny thing is at Christmastime when I told Nan that I was thinking about you taking a break from my bereavement group, she suggested that I consider becoming a Group Leader. Nan also thought it was something I would do well at. When I called to tell her, she guessed before I could even tell her!! This is a big step in my journey Michael and I am doing it for you my love.
I miss you honey and I love you more each day.
Sending you lots of love my beautiful boy ❣❣❣❣❣
Love You Forever, Mama ❣☮

March 6, 2017

My Beautiful Michael,
Three years and eight months has come and gone. Every day without you sucks but knowing that one day we will be reunited is what keeps me going. I hope you realize that when that day comes I am going to hug you, squeeze you, kiss you and not let go of you. I miss you honey. I miss you so much. I love you Michael. I love you with every bit of my heart. You are my favorite person and it's hard living without you here.
Love you forever Baby Boy, Mama ❣☮❣☮❣☮

February 9, 2017

My Beautiful Michael, Today at work my friend Pam mentioned that this Thursday is her "half birthday". Apparently her Mom made a big deal of half birthdays while she was growing up and she has continued the tradition with her kids. Later in the day I happened to notice on a customer's check that today's date is January 24th. Today is your half birthday my beautiful son....28 1/2. It's so hard to believe. When I told Pam I got very sad. It sounded so grown up. So adult. Twenty-eight and a half. Pam said "I wonder what Michael is doing". I told her that whatever is was you were definitely having a great time.I love you so,so much Michael. I miss you my Baby Boy.Love you Forever, Mama ❣☮❣☮❣☮

January 24, 2017

My Beautiful Michael, Christmas has passed and another year has begun. I am just grateful that the holidays are over. They mean so little without you. They are just another day, but also days that make losing you even more difficult. Each day is hard enough without you honey. Seeing families together, young couples with babies, Grandparents with Grandchildren is torture. I simply hate the holidays and I always will.I know that you and Pup must have had a beautiful Christmas, because everything is perfect and happy and peaceful where you are. You are loved Michael. You are missed. I love you so very, very much honey.Peace my Beautiful Child~Love You Forever~Mama ❣☮

January 2, 2017

Three and a half years today honey. How is that even possible? I honestly don't know how I have managed to get through some days. There are times that I miss you so much that I just don't want to deal with anything or anyone. But, as you know, I do my best. I get out of bed. I take a shower, get dressed, put on my makeup and face the day. I do this because I know it is what you would want. I will continue to face each day and find joy in my life, in spite of tremendous sadness. I will do this because I love you and I know how much you always wanted me to enjoy life and be happy. I love you so very much Michael. I miss you honey. I really miss you Baby.
Love You Forever & Ever, Mama ❣☮❣

December 1, 2016

Hello My Love, This morning I cried my entire drive to work. That's not unusual as I tend to get weepy while I'm in the car alone, but this morning I felt extremely sad and today I felt out of sorts. Later on I realized that it was the first of the month. It's bizarre how I automatically have an overwhelming sense of sadness every first day of every month. I always feel sadness, but somehow I feel different...like a strange sense of beginning and end all at the same time and none of it good. The season change doesn't help. If the weather stayed the same all year round it would be one less sadness trigger. I wish you were here Michael. I love you so very much.On a happy note honey, Justin asked me to be his daughter Naylia's Godmother. I cried like a baby when he asked me. She's a little cutie and you would love her. I am so thrilled and honored that he asked me. I love you baby. Mama loves you forever and ever. Thank you for sending me all the signs that you send. You've really been sending a lot lately and it truly means the world to me.Sending you a giant hug my Sweet Baby BoyLove

November 1, 2016

My Darling Michael Francis,
Once again, another month has passed. Three years and four months my love. Recently you have been sending me more signs than ever and I am so very grateful to you honey. It means the world to me that you are thinking of me. It helps me get through each day when I receive your signs. Thank you so much honey. I love you baby boy. I love you more than anything or anyone else in the entire world. I really miss you Michael. I really, really miss you an awful lot. Please keep sending signs honey. I love you forever & ever.
Mama ❣❣❣☮

October 4, 2016

My beautiful boy, September 1st was 3 years and 3 months since you left this life and started a new adventure. I don't know where and I don't know why, but I do know that you are safe, you are happy, and you are free to do all the things that bring you joy. I also know that I miss you so very much and that will never, ever change. I love you honey. I love you more than anything in this world, and my world will never be the same without you. I love you forever & ever Michael
All My Love, Mama xoxoxo

September 3, 2016

My Beautiful Michael,
Today marks 3 years and 2 months since you left. Your 28th Birthday was both a happy and a sad day. Happy, as July 24th is my favorite day, the day you first arrived on earth, the day you joined our family, the day you made me the happiest, proudest woman ever. The day I became your Mama. Also a very sad day because you are no longer here to celebrate the wonderful event. You always loved celebrating your Birthday. I hope that you had a great day doing all the things you love the most. I love you so much Michael. I can't believe it was your 28th Birthday. I wonder what you would have done these past three years. Would you have gotten married? Would you be a Dad? I miss you like crazy and wish I could pick up my phone and call you. I miss talking to you. I just miss you so much honey. Mama misses you so much.
Love You Forever & Ever, Mama ❣☮

August 1, 2016

My Sweet Boy,The first of the month is here again. Summertime is particularly tough for me. I think about a conversation you and I had shortly before the accident. You had so many plans for the summer. It breaks my heart so much that you never got the chance to do any of those things you had planned. Now the summer just makes me miss you even more. Although I miss you and I am so terribly sad, I know that my grief will never, ever be bigger than my love for you because that love is so incredibly big. I love you Michael. I love you so very much honey.Forever, Mama ❣

July 1, 2016

My Sweet Boy,
June 1st marked 3 years. Three years without you physically here with us. I received so many beautiful messages from your friends. Your childhood friends, school friends, California friends, New York & Boston friends. They were so kind to reach out to me. They love you Michael and they miss you very much. You made an impact on so many people my love. You are truly missed.
I love you Michael. I wish I didn't have to start year 4, I wish you were here.
Love you forever, Mama ❣❣☮

June 5, 2016

I can't help but wonder if the universe sent you messages this week three years ago. If somehow things seemed different. Did you have any idea it was going to be your last week on earth before moving on to your next life? I believe that if messages were sent they were welcoming and comforting. Maybe they didn't make sense to you at the time Michael, but when you arrived in your beautiful new world, your perfect, joyful, peaceful new life, it all came together. The week before June 1st is particularly hard for me. I love you so very much and I miss you beyond explanation. There are no words to describe this heartache.I love you Michael. I love you Baby Boy.Mama ☮

May 26, 2016

Today it is 2 years and 11 months since you moved on to your next life. You are still very much a part of my everyday life and still very much a part of our family. That will never, ever change my love. Thank you for reaching out to me through Candace on Monday night. It truly meant the world to me honey. I love you so much Michael. I love you so very, very much honey ❣❣ Forever, Mama

May 1, 2016

Today is two years and ten months. I think about you every day my beautiful boy. I smile. I laugh. I cry. I miss you at every moment.
Today is April Fools Day. I wish more than anything that this was all just a prank and not our reality.
I love you with all my heart Michael. I love you so very much.
Mama xoxo

April 1, 2016

My Love,
Two years and nine months. Time moves forward but my heart will never move to a happy, healing place. I am a lucky woman. Surrounded by love & support. I have a wonderful life, and I am so very blessed, but the the one the thing I want in life I cannot have.
It is not supposed to happen in this order. This was not supposed to happen to our family. I feel at such a loss when I think about the future. It doesn't make sense without you honey. I love you so very, very much Michael. You are my heart & soul. You are my favorite person and I just miss you like crazy.
Love you forever, Mama

March 4, 2016

My Beautiful Michael,
Two years and eight months my love. Time continues. My life moves forward, yet stays still. I miss you Michael. Missing you is so painful. Knowing that you are missing out on the rest of your life here with everyone that loves you is beyond bearable. It's not fair honey. I love you so very, very much my sweet boy.
Love You Forever, Mama xoxo

February 3, 2016

My Beautiful Michael,
Christmas, the start of 2016, and the 2 year and 7 month mark have all come and gone. I hate the holidays. There is no joy in Christmas and certainly no joy in welcoming another year that you will not be here for. George and I went to California to spend Christmas with Nan, Uncle and the rest of the family. Sometimes it seems strange for me to be in California. Sometimes I think you are still there and then I have to remind myself that you are not. It's the place where you took your last breathe on earth. Not the exact place, but the general area and when I'm out there I feel closer to you in some strange way... it's hard to explain. I miss you honey. I miss you so much. I hope your Christmas and New Years was amazing in your new life Michael. I'm sure it was honey since you are in an amazing place, surrounded by nothing but greatness and love and happiness. The only good thing about welcoming a new year is that it brings me one year closer to seeing you again my Baby Boy. Merry Christmas & Happy 2016. I love you Michael. Xoxo
Love you forever, Mama

January 6, 2016

My Beautiful Michael,
Today is 2 1/2 years. I cannot believe so much time has passed. It has flown and dragged by all at the same time. I miss you more each day and I know I will miss you even a bit more tomorrow. I love you more than words could ever, ever describe.
Love you forever and ever, Mama xo

December 1, 2015

My Beautiful Michael,
Today is Thanksgiving and I am thankful for you, my son. I am thankful for every second, every minute, every hour, day, week, month and year with you. I am thankful for every single moment. The good and the bad. The happy and the sad. I am thankful that you are my son and will always be my son. I love you so much Michael and I am thankful because I know how much you love me.
Forever, Mama xoxo

November 26, 2015

My Beautiful Michael,
The first of November has come and gone. I will never, ever feel joyful on the first of the month for as long as I live. I have been very sad lately. I miss you. I feel lonely and wish I could talk to you. Although I am surrounded by love and support I am lonely because I miss you so much and wish I could talk to you, see you, hug you. My heart aches. My heart just aches so much for you my son.
Love you Forever, Mama xo

November 7, 2015

My Beautiful Michael,
It's the first of the month again. Another month has passed by. Another month without you. I find myself thinking about you more than usual. I'm even more weepy than usual if that's possible. I miss you so much honey. I would do anything to have just a moment to talk to you and to hug you. There are days that I just cannot wrap my brain around everything. I still can't believe this has happened. I know it has, but it's just not right.
I love you so much Michael. I miss you more each day Baby Boy.
Love You Forever, Mama xo

October 1, 2015

My Beautiful Michael,
Yesterday marked 2 years and 3 months without you being here with us. It hasn't gotten any easier and I'm certain it never will. It couldn't possibly. I spent time with Auntie Donna this past weekend and we talked a lot about you. About how you lived your life. Chased your dreams. Our fearless boy. We laughed, we cried. We miss you so much Michael. You are missed so very, very much my love. I love you so much Michael. I love you forever my sweet boy.
Mama xoxoxo

September 2, 2015

My Beautiful Son,
Yesterday was your 27th Birthday. I know how much you always enjoyed celebrating your Birthday and I wish more than anything that you were here to celebrate with everyone that loves you. I have no doubt that you spent your day yesterday in your new, beautiful life celebrating and enjoying the day with your friends and family who have moved on ahead as well. I'll always feel that you left this earthly life to soon my love, but it's comforting to know that you are in a new life filled with nothing but happiness, love, peace and everything that brings you joy. The only sadness is here on earth for those who love you and miss you so much. I wish I could have hugged you tight yesterday honey. I wish I could hug you everyday. I miss you everyday. Every single day. Every single moment. I love you Michael. Happy Birthday Baby Boy xoxo
I Love You So Much, Mama

July 25, 2015

My sweet Baby Boy,
July 1st has passed. It marked 2 years and 1 month since you've been gone. I wish I could turn the clock back. I wish I could change everything. I want to pick up the phone and call you. I want to hear your voice, hear your laugh. I want to see your smile and hug you tight. I never want to let you go. I miss you so much Michael. I love you more than you or anyone else could possibly imagine. I love you honey. I love you so much ♥♥♥
Love & Peace ~ Mama

July 8, 2015

Two years today my Love. Two years. Losing you hasn't gotten easier and it never will. How could it? I love you so much. I miss you so much. So many of your friends reached out to me today. They miss you so much too. Auntie Donna came down to spend the day with me. She did the same last year too. Everyone who loves you misses you Michael. You are loved and missed so very much my beautiful boy and always will be.
I love you Michael, Peace xo

June 1, 2015

My Sweet Baby,
May 1st has come and gone. Twenty-three months. I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that June 1st is coming up. Two years is coming up. How can that be Michael? How can that be? I miss you so much. My heart hurts so badly. I'm never, ever going to stop missing you. Not until I see you again. I love you Baby Boy. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Mama xo

May 4, 2015

Micheal My Sweet Baby Boy,
Today it is the first of the month again. I dislike the first of each month because it marks the start of another month without you in this world. Twenty-two months today. I cannot believe it. I miss you more and more each day honey. The past few days have been very hard. I manage to smile, laugh and get through my days. I manage to be around others, but the moment I'm alone i fall apart. I haven't been able to stop crying, I haven't been able to sleep. I miss you so much. The pain in my heart is unbearable but somehow I'm learning to live with the pain better than I'm learning to live without you.
I love you Michael. I love you you so much Michael. Yesterday at work someone told me something that I thought you might me interested in and I thought to myself "oh, I'll have to tell Michael about that when I call him"...major stab in the heart. I still do that with Papa too. I miss you both. I know that you and Papa are together now.
I love you honey. I miss you my love.
Mama xoxoxo

April 1, 2015

My Love,
21 months today. Loving you, missing you and wishing you were here more than ever. As each day passes I feel your loss a bit harder. I wish you were here. I watch life go on and I just wish you were here Michael. Nothing is the same without you. It never will be.
I love you so much Michael. Love you forever & ever.
Mama xoxo

March 1, 2015

My sweet boy, February 1st was 20 months without you here on Earth. Each and every day gets a little bit harder. I love you so much Michael. I miss you more than anything. I wish you were here Baby. I just wish you were still here.
Love you forever & ever, Mama xo

February 6, 2015

January 1st 2015 marked 19 months since you've been gone Michael and it was the start of a new year without you. New Years is not a happy time. It's hard to look forward to starting a whole new year knowing that you won't be here with us. Christmas in California was nice because we got to spend time with Nana and the family, but you should have been there too. I missed you the entire time. I will never, ever stop missing you. We were back home for New Year's Eve to go to Justin's wedding. I missed you there too. You should have been there. Justin missed you too. He cried. I cried. We both wished you were there at the wedding Michael. We both love you and miss you so much. We all love and miss you. Your family. Your friends.
Merry Christmas my beautiful Baby and Happy New Year to you. I love you so much Baby Boy.
Love you, Mama xoxoxo

January 6, 2015

Today is Christmas Day. Our 2nd Christmas since you've been gone. This day will never be the same without you. We're in California. George thought it would be nice for me to be with Nan, Uncle, Auntie Kim and the girls. It is nice, but truth is I just want you. I wish you were here with us Michael. I miss you so much honey. I just want you to come home to Mama. That's all I want. Nothing else.
I love you so much Michael. My heart is aching. I'm sending you all my love honey. Merry Christmas Baby Boy xoxo
Love you Baby, Peace xoxoxo

December 25, 2014

Yesterday was 18 months. A year and a half. How is that even possible? I sometimes think it's all just a terrible dream and you're still out in California. I wish that were true Michael. I miss you so much that my entire body hurts, not just my heart. I love you Michael.
Peace, Mama xo

December 2, 2014

It's the first of the month again. It's November first and today it is seventeen months since you left. I don't like the first of each month Michael. It makes me sad and I just don't feel right all day long. Missing you never gets easier, in fact, it gets more difficult each day. As my life carries on, you are still a big part of it, and you will always be a huge part of our family, but it's just not the same honey. I love you so very much Michael. I try so hard to focus on the happiness and joy you are experiencing in the next life you have moved onto. Some day when it's my time to join you I will see you again and we will experience that happiness and joy together with our other family and friends who have also moved onto the next life. I have no doubt you are living large where you are and enjoying all the things you love to do my beautiful boy. There is nothing but love, happiness and peace for you my love and I know you don't want me to be sad honey, but please understand it's impossible for a Mama to not cry for her Baby.
I love you more than ever MFA
Love, Mama xo

November 1, 2014

My Beautiful Love,
Sixteen months. I cannot believe it. Time continues. Life goes on, yet nothing will ever be the same without you. I miss you more than ever Michael. You are on my mind and in my heart constantly. When I look at a picture of you and look at you eyes it's as thought I'm looking into your eyes, as though you are in front of me for real. I wish I could jump into the photo or you could jump out of it. I wish so many things could be different. I love you so much Michael. I love you my beautiful son.
Forever & ever, Mama xo

October 1, 2014

My sweet, beautiful boy,
Today is 15 months. Although I talk to you every day, I miss hearing you talk to me. I miss hearing about what's going on and what you've been up to. I miss hearing your voice so much.
I have voicemails of yours that I saved over the years and when I listen to them they make me both happy and sad. I just miss you. It's hard to imagine living the rest of my life without you, it just doesn't seem right.
I love you so very, very much Michael. You are loved and missed more than you could possibly imagine.
Missing you forever, Mama xo

September 1, 2014

My Beautiful Michael,
I am missing you more than ever.My heart aches every day when I think about life on earth moving ahead without you. You should be here, you should be with us.
I had surgery last week and it was hard not having you here because it's been tough and I know you would have been my biggest cheerleader. I can hear your voice encouraging me, but it's not enough, I want you here.
Mama loves you so much my sweet Baby Boy.
Love you and Miss you Forever my Love xoxo

August 17, 2014

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Estate Settlement Guide

If you’re in charge of handling the affairs for a recently deceased loved one, this guide offers a helpful checklist.

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Obituaries, grief & privacy: Legacy’s news editor on NPR podcast

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