It's been a year but to your loved ones I know it feels like an eternity, and at the same time, no time at all. Please continue to be near them and help them with the memories that at times may seem too painful to recollect. You had such a profound impact on so many people that I regret not knowing you better, but feel hopeful that someday our spirits will meet. I hope my dad and his dogs cammie and java are doing some fly fishing with you and daytona!
love and prayers
In the time I was blessed to know you they are all great memories. Memories of you being an amazing (and sometimes stern:)) big brother to one of my best friends, the best husband ever to your beautiful wife and a loving son to your wonderful mother. I know you are missed every day by so many! I'm just lucky I was fortunate enough to know you.
Our thoughts & prayers are with you Erin & the rest of the family.
It is still hard to believe that you are gone Toby. Your and Erin's love was such an inspiration to our marriage. I still have the beautiful wedding card you and Erin gave me over 10 years ago:
"You were born together, and together you shall be forever more. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. You shall be together even in the silent memory of the Great Spirit. But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a band of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each others cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone. Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not to near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each others shadow.
Your strong presence behind that smile is missed dearly and my heart aches for my beautiful friend, Erin, and your family, although I am sure you are never far from them.
Tannya and Carlos Hurley
It's been a year and I'm still not sure what to write. I guess it's because I think you already know how we feel. Not a day goes by that we do not think of you.
I sat outside with Josh watching thunder storms this year wishing you were there and at the same time knowing you were right there with us.
There have been times where I swear I can hear you gut roaring laugh and it always makes me smile.
We were all so lucky to have known you and our lives will be forever changed. We miss you more than words can express. Thank you for all the great memories. Hugs!!
It's been a year and I am still not quite sure what to write. I guess cause I think you already know how we feel. Not a day has gone by that we do not think of you. I sat outside watching a few thunder storms with Josh, wishing you were there and at the same time knowing you were right there with us. We were all so lucky to have known you and our lives will be forever changed.
There have been many times in the last year that I swore I could hear your gut roaring laugh and it always makes me smile.
We miss you more than words could ever express. Thank you for all the great memories. Hugs!
You were such a special man to all who met you with an easy warmth and charm that put everyone around you at ease. I was grateful for the times we spent together (especially that last visit when my girls did your hair) and am sad beyond words for my dear friend Erin. May she carry the strength of your love forward to whatever the future brings. I keep your picture up as a reminder of how fragile and special life is and think of you guys every day. Love to all your friends and family.
My childhood memories are filled with the times spent with all of the cousins. We always had so much fun together! It's been sad for me, that there was such a sudden stop to those times, when my parents divorced. Everyone on my moms side started to feel like strangers, though I know not intentionally. I have this one random,but very vivid memory, of you when we were little.....the time you showed me how you fed your pet boa constrictor a mouse. Crunch! :)
So long ago. Life is way too short. I'm 31 and can't believe I am not married by this age! You and Erin together, seem like a true life fairy tale. I hope I'm fortunate enough to marry my soul mate someday like you and her did. Well Toby, I just want you to know that even though we have not spent significant time together since childhood, my memories together with you and the cousins have always been, and always will be, cherished in my heart. Love you Toby. Give Ukki a hug for me please.......I can still smell his pipe tobacco <3
You were taken way too soon. Although I hadn't seen you for several years, I always thought of you with fondness. You were always smiling and always cracking jokes. You had a love for life and I can remember how VERY much you loved Erin.
See you on the other side, my friend.
Tobias, It's hard to put into words, how I miss you. Your a good man and overall a joy to know. I thank you for the time we had outside Laurens weeding. Your word were so helpfull. It just doesn't seem fair. I will continue the conversation we have each night. I think of you every day and wish I had been a better Dad. Again I'm having trouble putting into words just what you meant to me. I'm sure you noticed the potting bench you had in mind. I believe you influenced me while I was making it. Thanks!!!
This time last year you were sticking up for me & my wedding visions. You always stuck up for me & took care of me, no matter how big or small the reason. You made me laugh & made me feel understood.
My wedding weekend was the last time I got to see you & if I only knew I'd never see you again, I would have never let you leave. I miss you more than I ever thought humanly possible to miss someone. I love you Toby! Being your sister is something I will always be proud to say.
I never realized a year could pass both slowly and fast at the same time. How does that happen? It does though. I miss you, son-in-law!, every single day! You were so loved by all of our family! I hope you and Daytona are having some good hikes. I think of you that way with him. It is tough on all who loved you, but we are finding our way. I smile more now with my memories of you. My heart sends you love!
Visiting again, Toby. Its been almost a year now. We think of you often. We miss you. We know its going to be especially difficult for your family as July 7 comes along. They are always in our thoughts and hope they know how much we love them.
Although we lost touch in early childhood, I hold dear some of those earliest memories, and seeing some of the guestbook pictures brings back more great memories of you. I remember the two of us leaping off the roof of your garage, you showing me the power of the sun's rays focused by a magnifying glass, starting Karate together, and I am pretty sure we spent some time terrorizing Graem as well. Sorry Graem! I also credit you for introducing me to my all time favorite band during an awkward early teen visit while our families got reacquainted, but it was great to see you again. I still think of you when I listen to Tool. You were taken too early, bud. It would be great to reunite once again, and introduce our families and I am certain we would have found more in common. You were my first, best friend, I won't ever forget that. My heart goes out to Anne, Dick, Mike, Erin, Graem and Lauren, extended family and everyone who's lives are affected by your absence. I will keep them in my thoughts and prayers as well.
We think of you and your family daily. For many years our families have been the best of friends. Our hearts break for them.
Some of our best memories are of times we spent together. Watching Close Encounters of the Third Kind with you and Max, your Mom and Dad, your Uncle Paul and Auntie Tuija. Karate at the Y where you and Max did some somersaults as proof you were coordinated enough to enter classes at 5 and 6. Marshmallow roasts and riding Scimitarra.
We've enjoyed sharing Christmas and Thanksgiving gatherings. We are so appreciative to have had the chance to spend time with you and Erin at Tuija's on Easter. Of course we had no idea that would be our last visit and its cherished all the more.
Toby, you grew into a wonderful man, one devoted to his family. Few of us can say we are 'one-of-a-kind' people and that is exactly what you were.
Thanks for sharing your life with us Toby. We miss you!
Tob, my brother, man I am having so many "I wish I would have" moments right now! Wow...my heart is breaking and I'm not sure if I can put it into words as to how or even why it hurts. My soul aches, I hope to be a tenth of the man that you were. I regret a lot of things, I wish I was a better brother. Please be my big brother still, I need you now more than I ever have. I wish I could have admitted that earlier in my life. I want so badly to make you proud. I want so badly to love like you loved and to be loved like you were loved. I guess we're closer now more than ever. I promise to do what I said I would do and I promise to live a life of no regrets. I'll finish what was started. Man, I miss you. Know that I will strive to be the best man I can be. If I can be excited about one thing, that one thing is that I can live a better life because you lived yours.
What we remember about Toby was his thoughtfulness for other people. Toby was the poster child for that "do unto others..." quality we sometimes see in people. One example we remember about Toby was when his grandmother, GrandMary (Dick's Mom), was celebrating her 100th birthday. Mary received a letter of congratulations from President Obama. This letter didn't just happen. It was the handy-work of a thoughtful person--Toby who wanted to bring joy to Mary on her special day. We sure miss this wonderful guy!
Barb & Jerry, (Toby's aunt and uncle)
Toby, Our paths crossed quietly at the cabin from summer to summer for many years, and your presence will be missed there for many more. I have fond memories of our summers growing up at the lake. Your spirit lives on there with those of us whose life you touched along the way. May peace be with you.
I have known Toby for somewhere around 25 years. He and I spent many an afternoon goofing off up in the hills and forests around his family's lake place. I'm a couple of years older than him, and I'll never forget taking him out on his first 'snipe hunt'. Oddly enough, when he returned to the cabin, his snipe bag was empty, but he had that classic grin on his face when he figured out that he was just tricked. He was, as always, a great sport at all of the little pranks I pulled on him. One afternoon up at the cabin, he and I built a lean-to. All of the kids in the surrounding cabins in the bay slowly started pitching in and helping us. It was a great afternoon in the shade of the trees as kids, with no cares in the world. We would have campfires almost every night, roasting marshmallows, telling scary stories and getting the iron fire poker red hot in the fire and then putting into the lake just to hear it hiss. Many nights were spent camping down at the point or sleeping on the boat. Speaking of the boat, I also remember the first time Dick let he and I take the boat out by ourselves. We pretty much felt like the toughest guys on the lake.
I remember him spotting for me as I waterskied. He was always willing to get up at the crack of dawn. Of course in retrospect, when you were a 14 year old guy, 'the crack of dawn' was probably somewhere around 11am. He took to the wake board like a duck to water, and it secretly annoyed the hell out of me, because I never really could get the hang of that thing and it came so easy to him. As I had the arrogance that comes with being a couple of years older, I was supposed to be the best at everything. =) I also watched him kick my butt at snowboarding as well.
Toby, I will remember that you were ALWAYS up for an adventure, whatever it was, yet at the same time, you were also very content sitting with a book. Our paths sadly have not crossed in many many years, but as soon as I heard the news, many great memories of growing up very quickly came to me.
Rest in peace old friend, and know the world is a bit sadder without you in it.
We saw so many changes over the years of watching you grow up as our neighbor at the cabin. However, clearly one thing never changed, the love you had for others and the love each of them has for you. That will always be present in the lives you have so warmly touched. Your spirit lives on in an awesome way.
Dear Toby - I will always remember your warm and kind smile - the wonderful smile that lit up your whole face. You were taken too soon and will be missed forever, but know that you have a permanent place in my heart.
My heart aches for your family. May their hearts and souls find peace and comfort in knowing that you are much loved and missed.
Your first cousin, twice removed - Liisa
Dearest Toby! We will miss you at cocktail time on the Lake. Jim is watching over his shoulder for you to get even with him regarding the cougar! It has been a joy knowing you and Erin and we hope she will continue to come to the cabin. I promise to take good care of your Mom & Dick!! XXOXOXXOX
Like so many others I find myself broken hearted, wholly saddened really by your early departure and especially devastated when I see the grief of those closest to you like your Mom, your lovely wife, your Brother and Sister, Dick and Michael, your Aunt Tuija (Tuija Tetti) and Grandmother, Mummi.
I shall never forget your gentle nature, your love of all things living, your wit, intellect and charm. For a time, way back when you made your grand entrance to this world you were the center of our Family Universe as we all doted over the first Grandson and Nephew. Perhaps I am one of the few that can remember your hair when it was short, the bowl cut little dutch boy...you were just so darned cute running around the yard with your dog, Ruby.
Thank you so much for all that you were and all that you did, like helping Tuija out when I was unavailable and the kind words that you shared with her at your Sister's wedding. You were always there. When it came time to buy your first home you brought your business to me when you could have taken it elsewhere and, again, thank you, I have always appreciated that.
Your memory lives on in the highest of manner, with honor and respect of a life lived well.
Love, Uncle Paul (Pauli Seta)
I will always remember Toby as a kind and mellow friend who presented himself to the world as he was without pretension. He was his own man. It was truly a pleasure to know him and it's clear that he enriched all the lives that he touched.
My Dear Sweet Toby-Boby,
You were our first and I've loved you since the moment your Mom announced that she was carrying you. From that day forward I almost felt like I shared custody. You were/are such a huge part of our family and you were such a sweet little boy who grew up to be such a fine and loving young man. Now I can only cherish your memory and find peace in the knowledge that during your all-too-short time with us you were surrounded by the love of your family and friends and that you had a happy and charmed life. I will always be there for your Mom and know that your sweet Erin will always be family.
With lots of love and a heavy heart,I believe I'll someday get to give you a big hug once again.
Love, love, love, Auntie Tuija
P.S. Thanks for the dance!I can still feel your arms around me.
I feel so empty without you man! I am very honored to have known you as my friend for so many years! I miss our late night debates trying to rid the world of all its problems, backpacking thru the woods, camping up at priest, getting cars out and ready for shows, BBQ's, working on projects what ever they may have been, hearing your laugh, and showing your love and pure interest to both my wife and daughter. I love everything you are about and what you meant to so many people in this world! I have truly changed my life because of your presents in it. You will be missed more than I can even put into words! My thoughts and prayers will always be with you, Erin and your family! Until the day we meet again my friend....
We will always remember Toby as a strong and thoughtful young man. He took pleasure in nature and the outdoors. We watched him do things to please his folks in his quiet way.
Toby, the joy you brought to your parents was apparent. The sun was a little brighter and the laughter a little lighter when you were visiting.
Toby was a wonderful man who will be missed by so many - more than I think any of us even knew at first. He truly teaches me how an honest and honorable person can be such an inspiration not just to his family and those who knew him best, but to hundreds, if not thousands, of people. He will never be truly gone because he lives on in the hearts of so many.
Both Erin and Toby loved the philosophy of Khalil Gibran, and the following quote fits how I feel when I have been crying over the loss of Toby. "When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
Toby was a delight to so many, and continues to be a delight through the silly, funny, heartwarming stories we all get together and tell about him. My sadness stems from the fact that he was taken from us far too soon, but I feel confident we will meet again.
So many days I think to how much Toby inspired me. He was one of the best people I knew, in a very short time. Toby always reminded me that family was the most important and taking care of yourself so you can be the best you can. The top priority should always be you and your family. He also reminded me never to be to stressed out with what is not done will always be left to tomorrow. So many things I wish I would have been able to say to him. Thank you for helping get both feet on the ground and being the light on a brand new work day every day, always keeping me focused and looking into the future. OH and for getting us raised desk so I don't always have to sit. :) You know you will be missed looking down as each one of your friends and family as we grow. I will never forget you!
To the family, you all know how special Toby was and I send my condolences and thought to you in hopes you find closer and peace in time. I always feel time and support will heal.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the thing I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
(Thank you for being a small but large part of my life Toby)
My heart broke for your entire family when I heard the news. I am just so happy to know that the last few weeks of Toby's life were spent with his family. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you all during this time. XOXO!!!
We all miss you man - Every day I come into the office it's hard to believe you're not here. I wore the Dirty Dash in memory of Toby shirt yesterday and it always makes stop for a second and think about life – how it's meant be enjoyed, truly lived.
You are an awesome dude. Powder Wednesdays won't be the same without you. I'm sure the snows just a little lighter and a little deeper wherever you are.
Toby, Most days at the office a radiant glow seemed to emanate from your personality, you had the ability to make most people around you happy. You are a true person with only good intentions, a clear head, and a straightforward sense of being.... I will miss your presence on the ski hill - your style of riding seemed effortless to say the least. Your love for cars always gave me a reason to ask when you were going to be driving the Corvette next, just so I could vicariously enjoy it too. I hope you found what we are all looking for in life during your time here.
My thoughts go out to your family and your awesome wife Erin!
Toby, a little more than a month has passed by, and myself and others are still wondering what happened. Your loss has hit us all hard, and I pray that your wife and family can gather the strenght they need to carry on without you. God bless, Lena.
Toby, I regret not being nearer to you, the time we had in Dec. was very good for me. And the conversation we had outside the reception in Juneau was so very special. I know we would have had more in the future. Right now our conversations are one sided, me talking to you and I know you send me messages, I can feel them. God gave your mother and I the three of you and you were #1. Our lives have changed and we will be together again. I'm selfish, I want you to be here now, I want you to finish your projects and dreams with Erin. I miss you son.......
I've always loved you and always will...DAD
Toby - This candle was lit for you by my niece in France at the Cathedral in St. Jean Pied-de-Port. Your spirit has truly crossed the world. My few memories of you are wonderful and you made such an impact on people's lives. I'll do my best to take care of your dad. Until we meet again......
Anne, Dick, Graem, Lauren and Erin
We had just met Toby - and indeed all of you - and are so saddened to hear of his sudden passing. Losing someone you love is like losing a piece of yourself.
Hold on to your memories and let them find a way to help you heal. The love and the laughter, and those special moments you shared together will help to make you strong. Trust in your faith to guide you. And even though life moves on the gift of those memories and love stay behind to embrace and carry you through this time. Toby has left you that gift to hold in your hearts forever.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Thanks for all the awesome times we spent together I will always have fond memories of the the experiences we shared and advice I got...... You will truly be missed my brother! I will take good care of Lauren. Until we meet again!
Love you man.
Reading this from my hotel room in Tokyo. Erin, you have a strong family network that will help you through some difficult days ahead. Hope to see you soon.
As a parent, sister, and wife myself, my heart absolutely bleeds for you all right now. A loss this sudden and unexpected is imaginable. I didn't know Toby personally but know he was the perfect counterbalance to Erin, a soulmate if there ever was one. He will be sorely missed forever but never forgotten. All my love
I deeply miss you. We were just really getting to know one another. I always loved you as a son,but even more I cherished you as a friend confident. I will not forget those talks about the future and how we were going to do many things together. Life will not be the same without you. Miss you, love you, and know someday we will hug again.
Love: Dick (Dad)
As my first-born child Tobs, you had to help me learn to be a Mom. It wasn't always easy, but we enjoyed a sweet and loving relationship and I believe we loved each other to the moon and back a thousand million times. As someone else already stated, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that you are no longer here. No longer will I hear the front door open and your deep voiced "Hello!". That no longer will you keep me from my chores because you feel like chatting. That no longer will I round the lower part of the lake house only to see your sandled feet propped up in your favorite chair and then you completely immersed in a good book. So many "no longers"....My - our futures have been forever altered. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that you want me to for myself and for Graem and Lauren, Erin, Dick and the rest of the family. And the fact that I have faith that we will see each other again and will be able to hug you again. This is not the end even though it feels like it. A huge piece of my heart went with you. Thank you for being such a wonderful, sweet son. Mom
Erin & Family, I'm so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. Reading this guest book really gives me a sense of Toby and what a legacy of love he leaves with you. My prayers…
Erin, as I read these entries my heart breaks. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Although I never met him, it's obvious that Toby was an amazing man & clearly the love of your life. What a handsome guy too. There are no words for something like this, just know that you are in my thoughts & prayers.
My big brother, I grow more and more grateful for you every single day. Please help me to listen. I sense there many lessons I have yet to learn from how you led your short but very full life. Thank you for being you, even when I didn't understand. Man, am I going to miss you, I will never forget our last talk. I'm truly sorry there weren't more of those. I find comfort in knowing that you walk with me daily now. I know I told you often, but I'm not sure if you how much I meant it but ill say it again, I love you. Talk soon.
I still can't wrap my head around this news. I had the pleasure of meeting Toby several years ago through Cody Powell. He was so fun, always had a smile on his face, and was so gracious. I can't imagine how those who knew him best will cope with this terrible loss. I'm happy to have had the opportunity to have met him because he definitely left an impression. I'm so sorry for your loss but please know he is always with you.
I love you! You are the BEST oldest brother a girl could ask for! I long to hear your laugh & I will miss you forever.....until we meet again!
I was surprised and sad to read about Toby's sudden death. I have good memories of the kids playing in the neighborhood during the grade school years. Sorry I won't be able to attend on Sunday.
On behalf of the Lampert family, I send our sympathy and prayers to you, Anne, Erin and family.
Did not have the chance to meet Toby,but Erin is my cousin,and our hearts and prayers are with both families,love ya, Gary and Susan Ware
Ann, I am so saddened and shocked to hear about the loss of your beautiful son. Earl called me this morning to let me know. I can not imagine the hurt you are feeling, as I know what a treasure a son is to his mother. What a lovely tribute to his life. It shows what a fabulous family he had to encourge the gifts he entered this world with. You are in my prayers, that you find the support and strength to get through this loss. Keep the memories of his smile, hugs and spirt alive and know that he was loaned to you to help mold, and it appears you did a great job. God has many things for him to continue with the family that has gone before him. He will be safe now to walk many miles with them. You will see him again, and he will have his arms open for you. God bless you and your family.
I can't thank you enough for how nice you were to me. I am so honored to have met you . It would be tough for me to see the office without you. You were great great gentleman and I will never forget. I will always miss you, Toby.
I am so honored I got to call you my friend. All the memories we have will always be with me, but I think the best part of our long lasting friendship is no matter how often we talked every other day or every other month we always picked up right where we left off. Thank you for always being there to listen and be such an amazing friend. You were loved by so many and you know we will be there to help your family and the love of your life thru this time now and always. I know how I feel about losing you so I can't imagine the pain your family is in.. I know I will see you again someday and I can't wait to hear that laugh of yours again. MY thoughts and prayers go out to your family .. Love always Heather
TOBY....YOU WERE A GREAT PERSON TO KNOW!! YOU ALWAYS TOOK TIME TO TALK. YOUR LIFE ENDED SO SUDDENLY. YOU BROUGHT GREAT JOY TO WORK AND ALWAYS HAD A SMILE!!!! YOU WERE A GREAT GUY. IM VERY SORRY FOR YOUR FAMILY IN THIS TIME OF SORROW!! SEE YA MY FRIEND. YOU WILL BE TRULY MISSED!
You were a great friend and mentor, I will never forget all the help and support you have given me. You are not the man I am, but the man I strive to become. Safe travels my friend
I feel truly blessed to have had so a good buddy to talk to during the day. Thanks for always having something positive to say when I needed it. I will miss our strolls around the shop, and our walks in the woods. I WILL see you again bud. Until then.....
Erin, I am so sorry for your loss. Toby was a good man and will be missed by many. The thing that stuck out for me about Toby is he was a gentleman and very well respected. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family!
What a wonderful, gentle, kind soul! Honored to have met you Toby! We know you will be a Guardian Angel to many!
Toby, thank You for being a good friend and colleague to me. I will miss You.
May you be in a better world now!
Until the day after forever.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss this week. You have been in my thoughts since the minute your mom called with the news. I didn't know Toby very well but it was very obvious he was the love of your life. It was also obvious that he loved you just as much. I know that he is watching over you. Please know we send all our love during this difficult time.
Toby, I am greatful for the opertunity to have met you. I saw you as somebody who was always willing to lend a helping hand whenever someone needed it. Loved by your family and friends, and admired by everyone else that was close to you, what else could we possibly hope for in life?! You will be missed!
So Sorry for the loss of Toby, A great friend to all of my children and jim and I, but also a great son, Uncle and Super wonderful husband. He will be missed
So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you Erin & family.
You were the best son-in-law a mother could have! Thank you for loving our daughter, so sweetly. I loved how you teased me, and managed to throw zingers over my head and quietly laugh at my reactions! I loved how you talked to the grand girls--and allowed them to braid your long hair, at the expense of the pain of little hands. You showed us all the depth of your love for us--your family. And, I know you showed that love to your friends as well. Gary and I, and her brothers and sister, will watch over Erin and help her get through your devastating loss. So will her closest friends. I shall miss you all the remaining days of my life, my son-in-law. I hope you said Hello to my folks and my brother as you began this last adventure. Love you Toby.
My Love - It was very hard for me to look for this obit today. Each day it makes it more real that you will not walk through my front door, drop everything at the front, and walk straight for me to give me the warmest hug and kiss that made me know you truly and deeply loved me. I will miss you for the rest of my living days my love. My heart hurts so very badly right now and sometimes I just don't know how I will move on, but some how I will have to force myself. You are my soul mate. We will find each other again. I love you.
I am deeply saddened by your unexpected loss of Toby. My thoughts and prayers are with you Ann, Dick, Graem, and Lauren.