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    Gulfport, MS
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Karen Leah Casper-Slamans

Karen Leah Casper-Slamans

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February 11, 2016

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Preview Entry
February 11, 2016

Please don't submit copyrighted work; original poems, songs or prayers welcomed.

Legacy.com reviews all Guest Book entries to ensure appropriate content. Our staff does not correct grammar or spelling. Privacy Policy | Terms of Use
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December 27, 2009

Karen, these last few day's my thoughts seem to easily drift away,
I function, I live, and though I laugh, at times I feel I barely exist;
Then this morning, while still deep in the night, I gazed toward heaven,
And Baby, I saw such an amazing sight.. A light, shinning out of the mist.

It brought back the night you were buried and a raging rainstorm covered Gulfport and Biloxi,
As though there was uncontrollable weeping because you went away...
So I Goggled the weather,
Praying your gravesite was dry, a sign you were ok, and behold!! A light...
In a single dry pathway, straight from heaven to Southern Memorial Park where you lay.

A gentle touch of peace, but not contentment, began to grow, and just as suddenly, it was gone..
screaming without sound tore through my brain and body, I couldn't accept what I knew to be true;
We can never again confide our deepest thoughts, and I can never again ease your hurt,
And earthly pain. I will never again hear you laugh, or call me "mama"... Oh Karen my baby, I MISS YOU...

But in God's mercy, (though sometimes my faith slightly waivers), My belief is still strong enough...
To where I turn begging to Him and in return He seems to give me a touch of salvation;
Yet, I want more! I want peace, contentment. Not when I die... but here.. now... And because I know
Wanting is just wishes, it leaves my heart, my brain, my belief, filled with trepidation...

I try to overcome any questions of my faith.. and without doubt 99 9/10 % of my faith remains strong,
While the 1/10 % of doubts leaves me in agony. Wondering why I can't just totally accept everything!
Is it because so much was written by man? Or because slowly, so slowly, little things emerge as truth,
I totally believe in God, in a Higher Power. I believe without Him life would be worth nothing.

I believe there is and was Mary, Joseph, and Jesus but I sometimes wonder ... was all perfection?
In Their every thought, word, and deed? If They were human did they not have one sin, one human fallacy?
Like we humans have? I yearn for an unanswerable truth while I'm here,on earth, meanwhile my belief's...
Still keep me strong enough to turn to God, to "Them" for blessings of peace..regardless of the intricacies.

And if They erred, as humans often do, As long as They obeyed God, that does not make Them unholy...
To me... If it were true I would probably feel They also felt and understood on an earthly level what I feel ..
Yet, I would know God blessed Them beyond compare with sanctity and gift's that only He and They can bestow...
And I do believe Jesus took you to be by his side in Heaven because he love's you so. To me that is real.

And so this Christmas I pray for you to be in peace... To know we love you more than words can say,
That we too find peace, stay faithful, and accept whatever comes our way...

Karen, just know every bit of my times of struggling to accept you are forever gone has been worth, every agony to have had you, "our" Karen, My baby, for each day, every moment since you were born....
God did bless each of us... Merry Christmas Baby, I love you... mama~
December 19, 2009
Merry Christmas Karen. I miss you. You are in my thoughts often, and close to my heart always.
October 25, 2009
Happy Birthday Baby!
Words can't tell you how sweet the memories are;
Of every thing we ever did,
We touched hearts, together or apart, near or far.

And now through forever,
our worlds have no boundaries;
Our souls touch,
And through our souls we feel and see.

Something's, little things, big things,
Remind me of you;
Happy things, sad things, all things,
Everything, no matter what I do.

Today I've thought a lot about your 16th Birthday,
I don't know why but it's been with me all day,
Maybe it's the "Lil Tagalong cheerleading" doll your sister found,
She looked so much like you, Sweet, precious, lovable in every way.

Life sometimes seems like an illusionary dream,
unreal because you can't hold onto it,
Yet so very, very real,
Because we can't totally let go of it.

Like a fairytale, and you're my little princess,
You, sparkling with beauty, and dancing all around;
bring laughter, music, singing...
Can you hear that? Can you hear the sounds?

Today is a special day for me, for us,
The day you were born, such a gift I can't describe;
I remember the ride home with you from Jackson,
How I looked at you.. with so much love I started to cry.

You were 3 days old, we were bringing our "little girl" home,
Words of the song "You're the reason I'm living" entered my mind;
You looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes, and I started singing.
"You're the reason I'm living.. You're the breath that I take." God was so kind.

He gave us you.
And now, no matter how life evolves, or what the future brings;
The wonder of you, of every part of life we shared;
I will always know we were blessed... And baby, my heart still sings.

Time is passing quickly, slowly.
We love you...
Author: Mama,
Kathleen Casper
October 06, 2009
My thought and prayers are with you Kathleen. I feel your pain and my heart hurt's for you. What gift you gave to Karen.. your time... the most valuable thing on earth.
With love,
Sandra Beaugez
August 31, 2009
Thinking of you baby, with fun, sweet, loving thoughts... I so often wish I could pick up the phone and call you... Or hear it ring... wishing it could be you and I could hear that happy lilt to your voice with that laughter from the moment you said: "mama" ~

This poem is a mixture of wondeful memories of being a mother and being blessed throughout my life by the love I shared with each of my children.

My love for my children.. An unbreakable bind...

Mother and Child
A cloudy day begins to change,
Shadows chased away by the sun,
The day brightens.

A child smiles and bows it's head,
Their smile turning to sudden laughter,
All your earthly problems lighten.

Lashing rain turns into...
A gentle pitter-patter. Then stops;
As heaven and earth is touched by a rainbow.

Colors of the universe made ever more brilliant,
Radiating from a child's face,
As trust and love for you makes it glow.

A chilly day quickly spreads into warmth,
Parent-child love fill's our world,
While tiny feet follow, wherever I go.

Small faces beam when they look at me...
And I give each child a hug and kiss...
because I love them so.

When little hand's reach out to me,
I swoop them up so close to my heart,
There they feel happy, safe, protected, secure,

God placed each child into my care,
for me to dedicate to them my life, my all,
And He gave me the greatest blessing's I'll ever know...
Each child's love... Forever indestructible, Forever innocent,
Forever pure....
Author: Kathleen Casper
August 09, 2009
Thought's of "Karen"
Oh Lord my God, I still live in awesome wonder,
My days and nights are torn, so all asunder.
My mind, my body filled with sadness, and tears,
My nights filled with thoughts, of gone-by years.

When I close my eyes, waiting for peace to come,
My mind, my body, can't find ease, and I wish that I could run.
But run to where? To what? to who? And what good would it do?
My thoughts, my anguish stays within me, with no place to escape to.

I want to lay my head on my pillow and feel oblivion, feel numb,
I close my eyes for rest, for peace, for sleep to come.
But darkness brings your face so clearly before me,
I want you to come closer, and pretend it really is you I see.

I want every moment we shared relived; again and again,
I want... I want... But I can't bear the pain.
Lord, You know how hard it's been these last three years,
She is so close, then fades from sight through my flood of tears.

The hopes and dreams we shared for "someday", never goes away.
The longing for "someday", is with me every day.
I hold every moment we shared, close within my heart,
It makes life more bearable, for as long as we must be apart.

The holidays you loved, we love, draw ever near,
your birthday, thanksgiving, Christmas, a new year.
Help me Dear Lord to know Jesus so loved her in his special way,
He called her to be near him, for eternity, to share his birthday.

Please keep her safe, and if she should cry, wipe away her tears?
If she becomes afraid,
let her feel me holding her, with you; as we brush away her fears?
I am weak oh God, I believe, and yet some things I wonder about,
It is then I need to hear you to say, you never have to doubt.

Take care of my loved ones, until we meet again,
Until there are no more tears, no more pain.
Stand beside me, help me to be strong,
Let me live life, and do no wrong.

Forgive me God, for any hurt I've ever done,
As I ask you to forgive others, each and every one.
Let blessing reign upon us, Let caring pave our way,
Let truth and love abide within us, today and every day.

Karen's mama, Kathleen Casper
April 26, 2009
To Those That Love & Remember Karen
And there are so many;
I always find myself thinking of Karen, and of her family. Not wanting to intrude on your lives or your time - I thought I would leave a note here for all of you to read. After reading all your heartfelt entries, the letters to Karen and poems, you have all confirmed what I have for so long believed:
That if and it is a BIG if: IF I live to be as loved as Karen is by all of you, her family and friends, I will have lived a good life. IF I achieve even a tenth of her wealth in Spirit and Faith, then I will have achieved something worthwhile, that is for sure. In so many ways, both past and present, Karen is my role model. Her strength and tenacity through the tough times in her Life, her ability to endure with a positive attitude and that charming smile of her's - and most of all her dedication and commitment to her family and children - are all attributes to strive for and are what makes her such a special person. I miss her so much, and even now, the world seems so much emptier. My "North Star" is missing on Earth, yet when I look up in the sky at night - I see her shining brightly, still giving me that comforting sense of direction when I feel lost. I miss her so.
I just wanted you all to know.
Please feel free to contact me anytime.
Christina Hope (formerly known as Chris Clark, who lived on Academy Ave in 1972, and then in 1973 - moved to Birmingham, Alabama. The last time I saw her was in late 1983, when my grandma passed away and I came to Gulfport for the funeral. I stayed with Karen for a night. I met Alan, and Joey was a baby. Elizabeth hadn't been born yet. The last time I spoke with Karen, was in September 2005, right after Hurricane Katrina hit, I just wanted to make sure she was okay. Sadly, I had no idea that was to be the last time I would talk to her.)
February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day Baby!
I know who else is strongly thinking of you on this special day you two shared and he is still loving you more than words can say. And he always will. Alan keeps you in his heart and mind asleep, in his dreams, awake, wherever he goes; in or out of Mississippi. No matter who is with him... You are the one who holds his heart, mind and soul. You truly make and made an everlasting impression on so many people in so many ways...
Our entire family misses you so much. They come in and read the Guest Book but somehow they say they simply can't write because the hurt of missing you is still so overwhelming. Still, there is not a day that goes by that they don't think of you... And talk to you... And laugh or have tears well up in their eyes and down their cheeks as their memories come flooding back to them. And there are so many memories... So much fun and laughter.. So many big and little things that bring you back to them... And all are such loving memories and thoughts.
For me, every breath I take I breathe for both of us.... And when my last breath is gone I know you will be rushing towards me... with your face filled with love and laughter and your eyes sparkling, beautiful and so filled with love and happiness saying... "It's ok mama... I't's ok." And, seeing you, I know everything will be... ok...
Karen... me, you, Elizabeth and ashlyn have so many way's alike that makes us who we are that it is pure amazing to me... Now of course Joey, Dillon and Jnathan I'm sure will always also have those same "ways" that will always bind us all together.. Like Elizabeth said, the memories of the many Eskimo Kisses... The Butterfly kisses... the snuggles and tight and gentle hugs... The laughter and pure happiness and strength we all share in so many ways are with us constantly. The strength and the fragile fiber of our very being is as one. And I told Elizabeth she is the Futures other "us"... Though I always thought of you as being the "Futures other me"... Elizabeth is so like you in so many ways....
We love you Karen... Happy Valentines Day again baby, from mama, daddy, and our combined entire family!
January 11, 2009
I don't even know where to start. I miss you so much. It gets harder everyday. Jathan is getting so big and I just wish you were here so he could know you the way that we all did. Everything I see or do reminds me of you. I wish I could hear your voice and for you to just tell me that everything is going to be ok. I need you now more than ever. I miss my friend. I miss the way you could make me smile even when I didn't want to. I show Jathan pictures of you everyday so that he will always know that you are his grandma. I know your right here with me always by my side. I love you so much and I always will. Sometimes I can still smell your perfume and I know your here with me. And I know your haunting daddy lol because he says he sees you everywhere he goes. (Good one mama) There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you or wish that you were here. I love you and I miss you and you will always be my best friend! I miss our hugs that were so tight we couldn't breathe and our butterfly kisses and eskimo kisses lol. I have your strength and your good will and I am so thankful that you are my mama.
January 01, 2009
Happy New Years Baby...
Since you've been gone here we are, another new year... Much stay's the same.... Yet there is a blessing within me from the first glimmer of real acceptance since you've been gone. And I feel you found a way to give that to me.. somehow...
Baby Girl, If we had one wish that could come true for you this January 1st, 2009, we would include all the loving, happy things that has happened in the here and hereafter in your life and wish you total serenity, internal joy that we hope is yours forever, peace within, contentment, and always sprinklings of laughter that was all such a part of you... And that we remember so well ... All you are, and were, we carry with us.... Every sound, every memory, YOU ARE, and will always be, a part of us just as where you are we are a part of you. Above all Karen, we wish you all God's Blessings..
We love you... mama and daddy...

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Light of our Lives.. Love of our hearts!! You are missed soo Much!!!
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