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Jarrod Bourget
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December 02, 2014
Jarrod,tomorrow it will be nine years since you you left us but it still feels like yesterday. I KNOW God is watching over you but you are missed and loved every day of the year.I miss your your smilE, your laugh and personality.I love you with all my heart and and muss you everyday of my life.
Your Loving Mother
December 04, 2013
Jarrod,I have a hard time believing we started Screen Solutions 10&1/2 years ago. I am not really sure how we survived after we lost you, but we did, Jeff really stepped up and is a huge reason we are still here, he gets the job done every day, not just done but done to perfection,,,,,,,,,Dad
*8 years ago yesterday Dec.3,2005 I had a knock on my door by a Florida State Trooper at 5am, he asked me to put my dog Radar away and then I let him in, he then told Karen and Me that our son Jarrod was killed at 3:06am in a car crash. WE both have no problem remembering the worst moment of our lives....... The pain has faded with time, the missing you will never fade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love and miss you Jarrod and would give my left arm to have one more argument with you,(we did that a lot) I will always cherish the dinner and couple of beers we had together at Beefs 8 hours before you left us.You live on with your namesake Jarrod Gaudette your sisters first son, he is 6 years old already, Keep your eye on him, like you he is smart and a little wild, Ninja is now more than 9 years old and is 115lbs. of the best dog anybody could have, his brother Radar is 10+1/2, and his health is failing fast and he will be joining you soon, Mom and I hope you both have a long wait for Ninja to be back at your side, because Ninja has had a brother his entire life Mom and I got a Golden Doodle puppy so Ninja is not alone after Radar leaves us, we named him Sonar and we think he may be even bigger than Ninja,@ almost 14 weeks old he already weighs 38lbs. and is smart and raises hell with Ninja and Radar. Like I said,,,,,, I love and miss you and want you back.....Dad
Jarrod,I almost forgot to tell you - Screen Solutions is still up and running, we had some rough times with the economy crash in 2008 & 9 it was just Jeff and me but we survived, you would be amazed at how good Jeff is at the screen biz, without him Screen Solutions would be gone.,,,,,Dad
December 04, 2013
HI Jarrod, This is the first time I have felt I was able to post here, the following is what I put on the Screen Solutions Face Book Page.
*8 years ago yesterday Dec.3,2005 I had a knock on my door by a Florida State Trooper at 5am, he asked me to put my dog Radar away and then I let him in, he then told Karen and Me that our son Jarrod was killed at 3:06am in a car crash. WE both have no problem remembering the worst moment of our lives....... The pain has faded with time, the missing you will never fade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love and miss you Jarrod and would give my left arm to have one more argument with you,(we did that a lot) I will always cherish the dinner and couple of beers we had together at Beefs 8 hours before you left us.You live on with your namesake Jarrod Gaudette your sisters first son, he is 6 years old already, Keep your eye on him, like you he is smart and a little wild, Ninja is now more than 9 years old and is 115lbs. of the best dog anybody could have, his brother Radar is 10+1/2, and his health is failing fast and he will be joining you soon, Mom and I hope you both have a long wait for Ninja to be back at your side, because Ninja has had a brother his entire life Mom and I got a Golden Doodle puppy so Ninja is not alone after Radar leaves us, we named him Sonar and we think he may be even bigger than Ninja,@ almost 14 weeks old he already weighs 38lbs. and is smart and raises hell with Ninja and Radar. Like I said,,,,,, I love and miss you and want you back.....Dad

Jarrod,I almost forgot to tell you - Screen Solutions is still up and running, we had some rough times with the economy crash in 2008 & 9 it was just Jeff and me but we survived, you would be amazed at how good Jeff is at the screen biz, without him Screen Solutions would be gone.,,,,,Dad

Jarrod,I have a hard time believing we started Screen Solutions 10&1/2 years ago. I am not really sure how we survived after we lost you, but we did, Jeff really stepped up and is a huge reason we are still here, he gets the job done every day, not just done but done to perfection,,,,,,,,,Dad
November 19, 2013
jarrod, i wish we could have spent more time together, but i will see you again. miss you and one love... your cousin john
May 04, 2012
Hi Darling, miss you more and more everyday, and time is passing slowly in many ways. I have a Bugsy Beats tattoo on my left calf in your honor and I love it. The other day I heard the song Paradise by the dashboard lights lights by Meatloaf and it brought back some awesome memories of you and Stephanie singing that duet. I love and miss you everyday of my life. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and do not ever let them go.

Your loving Mother
February 09, 2012
hey Jarrod, i thought of you today and all the times we together, your snake, clubbing, when you were mixing on the cape at the club, and i worked for you..i miss you so much. i love you always
August 02, 2011
Although my stroke impaired my vision,and I struggle with different things, I see your beautiful smiling face in my heart every day. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and please do not ever let them go.
Your Loving Mother
June 18, 2010
Missing you tonight. Listening to Jump Around... the last song we ever danced and rapped to together. I love you...
May 20, 2010
J you was def like my brother we was close at marks in swansea miss you I've been lookin for you for awhile I hate this is how I found you I wanted to do a reunion with the shane kids so I geuss it'll have to wait j u know I'm not a religous man but from today on u will be in my prayers keep the benz runnin til I see u again
May 20, 2010
I have often searched for you throughout the years, wondering where you ran off to. I'd let the time go by, figuring that one day we would reunite and catch back up like we always did. Your were always the friend.. who whether it be 6 days.. 6 months or 6 years.. I could reconnect with in 6 seconds! Seems my latest inquiry has come too late. For that I am sorry.

I hope that you are at peace and still wear that infectious smile. I loved you then.. and love you now.. 'big brother'.

To Karen and Jess..

My heart breaks for you.. even at this late hour. Better words escape me at the moment..
February 22, 2010
Always thought we'd have time to catch up about the old days. You will be missed.
January 17, 2010
Hi Jarrod,

It's me Ma. Happy Birthday to my dearest Son. Today is your 35th birthday. Four years ago when I lost you, it was a month before you would have turned 31. These past four years have been difficult but I want you to know that I am celebrating your beautiful life. I struggled for a very long time trying to figure out how I could go on without you. I now know that the hands of God are keeping you happy and safe. Today, when I went to church with my dear friend Barbara and her children I asked God to keep you at his side and to always make sure that you are smiling. Your smile and your laugh were infectious. The lives of those you touched could never forget you. You have a kind and loving heart. You will live in my heart and mind forever and I will miss you always. Hold on to my Heartstrings and do not ever, ever, ever, let them go.
I love you forever and a day.
January 17, 2010
Happy 35th Birtday Jarrod, I cant believe we are not celebrating our old age together! Watch over all of us, love you and miss you everyday. xoxo
April 21, 2009
Hi Jarrod,

It's me Ma. Well, I never stop thinking about you...forever in my heart & mind & soul. Days continue to be lonely...they are not going to change. I think about family so much these days. Yesterday was the 30th anniversary of my dad (your paternal Grandfather, Joseph F. Zamani's) passing. Sometimes it still feels like yesterday. Hard to believe that I was just 25yrs old when he left. I was always a "Daddy's Girl". That has never changed. Your Grandpa Bourget filled a huge hole in my heart all those years ago and continues to do so. I may have lost one Dad too young, but I am forever grateful that I have the most wonderful Dad in my life and I love him so. April is also the anniversary of my sister Carol's passing, and although she too has been gone for a long time...she is not far from my heart. We had a long distance relationship all our lives because she was so much older...but we got to see each other as often as possible, and I am thankful that she got to know my children. I have also had your cousin Mikey on my mind alot lately. His birthday was on the 12th of this month, and like you...he should still be here with all of us. I miss him and I feel the pain everyday that your Aunt Karen is suffering....I just need to remember that love is never lost. I recently posted an album of you on my FB page. Titled, "A Mothers Love, IMO Jarrod Matthew Bourget" it made me very happy to do that. I also know that it made your sister happy. To whomever views it, I want them all to be inspired by you. So many of the photos made me laugh and smile instead of shedding tears. I could put a million more out there of you. I miss New England, and I am forever questioning my decision to come to were the main reason and now you are not with me. I wish I could be closer to our family and the many friends left behind. My grandson is growing in leaps and bounds and I feel like I am missing so much. He is a hoot and has alot of his Uncle in him. Watch over over all of us...some of us need your care more than others. You are our Guardian Angel...always there...and I am always here for you. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and do not ever let them go. I love you forever and a day.
With all my Heart
Your Loving and Lonely Mother
April 02, 2009
Hi Jarrod,
It has been a long time since my last (and first) entry into your book. Believe that you are constantly in my thoughts. You see every time I think of you my heart breaks for Karen and Mark all over again. I know the hole in their hearts will never mend just as I know my own will never mend. Thought's of you and Mikey are forever intertwined. Perhaps that is why it is so hard for me to write, it brings back the heartache I share with your Mom and Dad. Michael's birthday is 10 days away and he is always here in my heart and my head. He should be 26 now. Please deliver my love to him and let him know how much he is missed. Tell him how much I loved being his Mom and how I never wanted to stop.
Know that you are loved and missed so, so very much by everyone you touched and loved. It is a great gift you've given yourself, the undying love of others. Be present in your loved ones live's for it is your job now to watch over us all. I know he got there first but please, please watch over my Mikey too. He looked up to you and loved you so.
Send us all "pennies from heaven" and we'll save them in a jar filled with love for you.
Your loving Aunt, Little Karen
March 31, 2009
Hi Jarrod, it's me Ma

I love you darling and I miss you so much. I am lonely, but not in my heart, mind and soul because you are with me always. I have been sick and I am home now. Sometimes I pass the hours by looking at pictures or reading cards. I am so glad I saved cards from you. It helps to read them. Your pictures make me laugh and feel good about life. The life I shared with you was super fantastic. I just did not want it to be over so soon. Now, I have Jarrod Christopher to love and share good times with. He is a hoot and I see so much of you in him. Dad, Jeff, Jess & Matt breathe life into me everyday. I am so lucky to have them all and I appreciate and love each one of them in a different way. I am sad to tell you that Muddy crossed the rainbow bridge into Heaven a few weeks ago. Uncle John is very sad and misses him deeply. I am sure you have found each other and I know that you will have him with you now. I love you forever and a day. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go.
Your Loving & Lonely Mother
December 04, 2008
A day late as I always am. Its hard to believe that 3 years have gone by and how much we have all changed and how we have grown. Alexis & Sadie talk about you alot still and we always keep you in our conversations. I have been in touch with Chad & Liz they have a son named Trent he is so cute and they both seem so happy. Johnny Mercaldo is back & he is still a cutie!! He actually worked with Bobby today. He is going to go back off shore in a few months but he is doing great. He really misses you he wont even talk about you much its too hard for him still I think. life is busy with the girls they will be in the Nutcracker next week and soon it will be Christmas, we all wish you were here to enjoy it with us. This year it will be at Jess & Matts house, mess for me to clean! Little Jarrod is so cute, he's one of the happiest little kids I have ever met. You would love him, I know you would make him laugh you have that effect on kids. Keep looking after us, I love you & miss you everyday. Love, Jen
December 03, 2008
Hi Jarrod, it's me Ma.

Of all of the days I have made entries into your Guestbook, this day is by far the hardest. Here it is the third Angel-Versary of your passing and I miss you just as much if not more. As I have said so many is so different now without you in it. Time has no boundaries, yet each of us has a time that we spend here on earth. Some very long, some very short. I just wish I had more of my life to spend with you. What I am feeling today, I have put into a poem. It is for you my darling son, and the words alone will tell how much you are truly missed. I love you with all of my being. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and do not ever, ever, ever let them go. Here it is

Jarrod Matthew Bourget
In Loving Memory on
Your Third Angel-Versary

One thousand ninety-five days since you have been gone
Yet the heartaches and the tears still linger on.
That is three long years without you, so very sad but true
Some days I still wonder, what am I to do.

I miss your wit, your charm, and your uncanny style
But most of all I miss your gorgeous, handsome smile.
For thirty years I was blessed to see you, most days and nights
Timeless, ageless, gone for now but never from my sight.

It really is the little things that I miss the most
Turkey day and holidays, sharing a Shiraz wine toast.
Lasagna on your birthday, cooking until I drop
A tradition tried and true, you know I will never stop.

I see the mountain bike that hangs so still upon the wall
Now two, not three, go answer the Sunday mountain biking call.
And music, music, music, that I could hear from down the street
All the tunes and flavors of my favorite DJ, Bugsy Beats.

And football games, and horseplay, and hanging with the "boys"
I know your little Ninja was your pride and joy.
But now he's big and all grown up with Radar by his side
Your love for them lives on in me, with so much love and pride.

So now I have the task of memories, and stories I must share
With all the young ones in our family, so precious and so dear.
Then when my time is over, and I walk my path to the end
I know you will be waiting for me, my devoted son and friend.

Your Loving and Lonely Mother
Always and Forever,
October 24, 2008
Hi Jarrod, it's me Ma!

I have not made an entry in sometime now but it really is inconsequential, as your are in my every thought, and in my heart every minute of every day. I love and miss you so much, and still everyday my heart weeps and tears spill from my old eyes. I want you here with me, with all of us. Life will never, ever be the same.. Finality is so overpowering, difficult to handle at times and it makes me feel very alone. I am still waiting for a beautiful dream with you. Please come to me. I wonder everyday about the fast pace of your life, and question in my mind all the time if you knew somehow, that your life here on earth would be short. Dad and I visited your boards in Sandwich this month when we headed north for your namesakes 1st Birthday. It was awesome. He is blessed to have you as his guardian angel, as we all are. Be sure to keep a good eye on all of us. I love you with all of my heart and soul and being...that will never ever change. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and do not ever let them go.
May Our Good Lord Bless and Keep You Close to Him.
I Love You Forever and a Day.
Your Ma.
October 03, 2008
Hello Jarrod,

It has been years and I miss you so much!! I remember all of fun and exciting times in the good ole windmill on Main street Hyannis, I talked to your sister, so glad I finally got in touch with her, I am in florida, can you believe it finally moved!! I know you are looking down on us all and are the angel on our shoulders. love and miss you more than you know,,,
June 23, 2008
Hi Jarrod well now you and my little brother Paul can be both angels in the endzone.Paul joined all of you Saturday please help him out with his wings I sure would appreciate it. love you and miss you both. There is not a day that goes by without you in our thoughts. Peace and love from Mama Eileen friends and family
April 26, 2008
Hi Jarrod, it's me Ma!

Wow, it has been some time since I have written to you, but I really do have an excuse. First, you are never out of my mind,my thoughts, or the beat of my heart and I feel you with me always. I had surgery...yes again, only this time I had my elbow replaced. Done at TGH, I was in the hospital for a week and have been recuperating for almost seven weeks now. This was a major surgery and it has taken alot out of me. I am still on medical leave from work and I am still taking alot of medication to control the pain but I am recovering and although it is going slow I can already feel the difference. I have been spending alot of time in our front room where you cabinet is and I swear when I am laying in there resting I can feel your presence around me. I am wrapped in my Patriot blanket everyday as I fondly call it my Jarrod comfort blanket which it certainly is. When I have it wrapped around me, it is as if your arms are reaching down from Heaven and giving me a big hug. Here we are coming upon another summer season and getting the pool deck ready for swimming etc. The "boys" have been swimming and they are so funny...still love the pool! They are so awesome and so big....our babies. Speaking about babies....your namesake, our beautiful Jarrod Christopher I was told by his mommy has gotten his first two teeth. They will be coming for a visit in a couple of months and I can hardly wait. I want to have all of them in our home so badly. Things will be certainly odd and different but we will still have a great time. You will be here looking down on all of us from above. I love you so much my heart aches everyday and I will never ever not miss you for even a moment. In the big picture my life is still very sad but I am carrying on. Must keep this short as it is still hard to type but I am with you always as well. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and do not ever let them go.
I love you deeply forever and a day.
Your Loving and Lonely Mother
February 03, 2008
Hey Jarrod, it's Ma!

What's going on?? Here we sit, Dad Jeff, me, Radar and Ninja watching this defensive slugfest of a football game and at the moment the Pats are down 10-7. Brady and the team are moving the ball but HELP!!!! Five minutes left, Oh MY!! Yours & Jarrod Christopher's pictures are right in front of the big screen. Between the karma from the two of you I expect the win. Today has been a tough day so let's get it going!!!! Highlight of the day is that I have talked with Devi and it was so good. She is such a strong, beautiful young woman and like me she misses you soooo. We will keep in touch and I know it will be good for both of us. Okay, 2:45 left and we are on the 6 yard line and it is 3rd down's a TOUCHDOWN to Randy Moss with 2:42 to go. The stress level is rising and now it is up to the
DEFENSE....DEFENSE....DEFENSE. Go home Eli and spend some time with Peyton. Come on Pats.....shut them DOWN!!!!!! 1:40 to go and the Giants are going for it....oh oh 1ST DOWN....yuck. By the way, pretty funny commercials, huh?? Samuels just missed a pic and now a conversion on 3rd down and they are on the New England 24 yard line. What's up???? HELP!!!!! Oh my good Lord there are :35 seconds left in the game and the Giants have scored>@%&@% CRAP. Okay, now it is up to Tom....can we do it, PLEASE HELP!!!!!! 2nd down and the Giants just flattened Tom....:19 to go and MISS to Moss. :10 seconds and 4th down.... no time left, this is IT. HELP!!!! We are's over....18-1. We lost the biggest of them all....The SuperBowl. I can't believe it. This is horribly sad for every single New England fan. Is it sad up in Heaven too? I am attaching a photo of your baby as he and Radar were getting into the game just like all of us. Gonna go for now.
Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and do not ever let them go.
All My Love Forever and a Day
Your Loving Mother
February 03, 2008
Hi Jarrod, it's me Ma!

IT's SUPERBOWL SUNDAY..............
Here I sit again watching the Patriots without you in my presence, but most definitely you are here with me and all of our friends and family that are adoring New England Patriot fans. As I watch the pre-game show, I miss your love, laughter and spirit so much. Dad and I sit here parties, no family. It is actually sad. I told you that the next time I wrote I would also send a picture. Well, here it is....for the all-time greatest New England Patriots fan there ever was!!! I will bet that you have Heaven rock'n and roll'n.... after all you are the Patriots Angel in the Endzone. Do your job and watch over the game and all of us. WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!!
I Love you forever and a day
Hold on to my Heartstrings and do not ever let them go.
Forever a Devoted Patriot Fan
Your Loving Mother
February 02, 2008
Hi Jarrod, it's Devi. I miss you and think about you often. I know that you are still with me and you are protecting me. Thank you for visiting me in my dreams, it reminds me that you are in a good place and subsides my pain of your loss. I think about your family often and I hold them up in my prayers, I know they miss you terribly. You have so many people that love and miss you, that must make you happy:) I will see you again soon when you come to visit me in my dreams. Until then...
Love always, Devi
January 17, 2008
Hi Darling, It's me Ma.

I awoke this am and the clock read 3:12. On days such as a special day like today, this same scenario occurs again and again. Many years ago when I was pregnant with Jeff and my sister Marie suddenly died at 40 years of age....I remember asking my Dad "how can you live without Marie"? I could not fathom the pain both he and my mother felt at that time. His reply was...."I'm not because she is in my heart and soul and mind". Little did I know that some 31 years later, I would feel that same pain. Insurmountable pain, endless pain, a world of hurt. I have struggled all day today to come with the term of "gone forever". I know you are from my sight and my touch, but you will never be gone from my heart and my mind and my soul. I know too well what my Dad meant when he said those words to me so many years ago. I will never understand the perplexity of pain and loss. Why some suffer so much and others very little. I have an aching heart and the ache will never go away. There is no one on this earth who will ever truly know or feel my pain when it comes to living the rest of my life without you. I need to say it....Happy Birthday!
There, you know... it has been there all day and when I spoke the words of your poems to you again today. as I do everyday, I know you heard me. Your sister brought a smle to my face today when she sent me photos of Jarrod Christopher. He is a adorable and cute. If he has just one pinch of your personality and your caring ways he will grow up to be a wonderful person. He is a lucky little guy because he has a fantastic Mommy & Daddy that love and adore him. I (we) will get to see him soon as me & Dad will be going back home for his Christening. Another family milestone without you. I was so pleased to know that Devi is well, and I am equally glad that she has written in your Guestbook. I know that she was your soul-mate and that you loved her very much. Devi...if you read this...I love you and miss you too. Tonight I made sure we ate lasanga. I brought it home from a restaurant because all day long I felt and knew in my heart that lasagna had to be a part of this day. Shame on me that I did not make it, but I have been so overloaded with work I couldn't find the time. I am going to make some though because your brother told me tonight that he has never had lasagna better than mine and now that all my co-workers know the real story behind the mad lasagna-making Ma...I pretty much have promised them a piece. Radar and Ninja love and miss you but just like me they know we will all be together again one day. On a day that I was always happy, now for the third year in a row I am sad again. This hollow empty feeling will never depart me until I am with you again. I love you with all of my being forever and a day. My car is decked out with my Patriots logos both front and back and the next time I write I am going to add a photo. It speaks for itself. Work your magic and be all of our Angel in the endzone on Sunday. It's the Pats all the way. I heard Tom Brady in an interview be asked this question: Which of your three superbowl rings is your favorite? He replied: The Next One!! Pretty soon Jeff and I will be heading to the tattoo shop together and this time my Patriots tattoo will be for you. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever let them go. XOXO 33 times.
May Our Good Lord Bless & Keep You.
Your Loving and Lonely Mother
January 17, 2008
Happy Birthday!!
i sent u a message earlier, but i see its not there. i wanted to wish u a big happy bday. Maddie goes to CCD and she told me that God is looking out for you. Hailey is terrible 3's. we love u and miss u
look out for my son Joey who has been in and out of the hospital
I love you,
January 17, 2008
Wish you were here to celebrate but we know that you are up there dancing and partying. All your friends and family miss you so much.Like I said thought not a day goes by without us thinking of you.
Just want you to know how much you are missed infinity and beyond.
You have a beautiful little nephew and beautiful new cousin.I am 100 percent sure you are watching over them.
Do not forget to be our Angel in the Endzone on Sunday I am sure you won't :-) Rock on Pats a perfect season minus the perfect fan of all time.Happy Birthday from allof us Jarrod.
Peace Love and Happiness
Mama Eileen and family and friends
January 17, 2008
Hopefully you are having a good day. We all miss you so much and are sad that you are not here today. Well it's been tough here lately...Baby Joey was in the hospital for 6 days from a RSV virus, and pnuemonia. He is still recovering.. Boy am I tired. The girls are fine. Hailey is terror at 3 and everything has to ber her way or she throws such a fit. Maddie is going to CCD and learning about God. She said to me the other day that you were up in Heaven with God, and that was a great place for you to be since you left. She knows he will take good care of you.
I love you and miss you
Please watch over us...and bless my son to recover quickly...
January 14, 2008
Jarrod Gosh you really are the Angel in the Endzone!!! We all thought of you Saturday night watching the Pats beat the Jags!!We are in the Afc Championship game with home field advantage!!We want you to know that not a day goes by that we all do not think of you and your smiling face.
Warm thoughts go out to your family everyday too and your precious little nephew is so cute :-) your sister and Matt must be so happy to have him in thier lives.I know that all your family and friends miss you lots everyday.
please keep smiling down on us especially this weekend for the AFC Champ game :-)
You will always be our friend forevah plus one day.
Take care love always Mama Eileen and family and friends,
P.s Stephanie and joe's baby is a little cutie too. I am positive that you are looking out for all the new additions to your family.
January 11, 2008
Hi Jarrod, I am writing you because I haven't paid my respects to you in such a long time...too long. I have been thinking about you so much lately. I have turned my life around and have been sober for several months. I am reflecting on important people and events in my life and when doing so you come to mind often. Your life came and went too quickly and it makes me realize that life is too short not to appreciate the what we have on this earth. I know that you are looking down on me from above and I always wear the angel necklace your mother gave to me. She told me that you are our gaurdian angel and I truly believe that Jarrod. I have felt your presence several times and you come to me in my dreams. Thank you for giving me comfort that I need at times of weakness. I miss you and love you.
January 07, 2008
Hi jarrod,
I am writing today because i am not sure or not if this guest book is going to end and just incase it does I wanted to let you know that I love you. Not a day passes that you dont enter my mind even if only for a split second. I wish you were here so I could give you a big hug, so I could quiz you on the girl of the hour, just kidding! and so you could yell at me and tell me nothing! I wish I could turn back time and have given you one more last hug and kiss and tell you I love you. I hope you are in peace rocking out in heaven, doing all the fun things you used to do here on earth. I am speaking for all of us when I say we will miss you forever and love you till eternity and beyond and then we will meet you again. Love always, Jen, Bobby Allie & Sadie. xoxoxo
December 31, 2007
Hi Jarrod, it's me Ma!!

I still do not know how I can say "Happy New Year". In many ways it is but there is this looming absence of you being gone that will never depart from my mind and my heart and my soul. Here I sit for the third New Years Eve without you and it really is tragic. I always hoped that you would be with me to celebrate every new year. Now, don't think for a minute that I believe that you would forego a fun-filled New Years Eve to stay home with your old Ma & Dad, but I at least would have seen you at some point. Probably when you were all decked out and looking your finest. You always had a beautiful lady in tow. Some guys have all the luck. I guess I should say it....Merry Christmas! Once again it was, but we have an empty Santa bootie on the fireplace hearth.....never to be filled again. The joy this year is having a new Grandson, even though he is far away. Dad & I & Jeff bought him a Radio Flyer Wagon Deluxe ATW!! Complete w/ padding. Jess put him in the wagon on Christmas day, but we could not even see him...until she stood him up. Your namesake Jarrod is amazing. Although I have spent but a few days with him in the first week of his life, each picture I receive I see personality, dimples, and big bright eyes. In many ways just like you. I love Jarrod Christopher so much, as I love you.
One of the Christmas pictures Jen sent of Allie & Sadie is so funny. Sadie has a pout on, and she looks just like you. Jen and Bobby and I still say that she is so much like many, many ways. I miss you so much and I wish you were here with ME. Fireworks are going off all over the place and we are doing nothing. Dad just took Radar & Ninja for their nightly walk...last one of 2007. The boys are so would surely be nuts over them if you were with us all. I thank God we have Ninja and all the rest of our loved ones. As I move forward through another year of sadness, you are embedded deep inside my soul. Every beat of my heart and every breath I take...I know you are with me. I just wish I wasn't alone without you. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't you ever, ever, ever let them go.
GOooooo PATRIOTS!!!!!!!
May Our Good Lord Bless & Keep You.
Your Loving and Lonely Mother
December 10, 2007
Your never dead if you haven't been forgotten. Remembering is every thing good are bad. God bless all of your family.
December 04, 2007
Hey Big Brother,
Gosh I miss you. I can't believe it's been 2 years, I hate that. I've been missing you for 2 years and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to miss you for the rest of my life.
Yesterday was tough on me. I had a pretty good crying spell from about 3:30am - 5am, part of which I was rocking my little Jarrod back to sleep. I was sitting in his room and looking at a picture of you on the wall and looking at him and it just got the tears flowing and then they didn't seem to stop. So I was pretty tired yesterday. But Jarrod, he's such a good baby, he's wonderful, I'm lucky to have him and he makes me so happy everyday. He's gonna miss out on the greatest Uncle of all, but I'll make sure he knows you. And you make sure you watch over him and me and all my family.
I love you with all my heart and miss you more than words can express.
Love and Hugs a million times,
Your little sis.
December 03, 2007
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!!

In many ways I have dreaded this day coming just as much as two years ago when you were suddenly snatched from our lives. I miss you so much and I wish you were here with me and all your family and friends. We should be putting up Christmas lights together or trimming the tree. Although, it will all get done and the Holiday will is just not the same anymore. Neither is football....and what about our PATS??? Will they be 12-0 after tonight? I think so. Make sure you do your job and be their Angel in the End Zone. I can already feel the pain of a Patriots tattoo!! I woke up at 3:10 a.m. this morning. I believe that you were coming to me. Like Jen, I have had a terrible headache all day and a good crying fit this morning before I left for work. I was busy at work, so being occupied was probably a good thing. Hey, guess what! I have been playing Guitar Hero with Jeff. I am getting pretty good at it. I gave myself the name "Hot Kitty Feva". I have laughed alot and that is a good thing. I read a poem called "Dash" tonight that your sister sent me and it made me think alot about your life and my own. All I can tell you is that I believe you sure had alot of fun in your life during the "Dash" years and I am ever grateful. Now, I know I want my "Dash" years to be more meaningful than I will try my BEST to be good at all I do and to spread good cheer and love. I miss your love so much. God gave me and all of us a special blessing when he sent Jarrod Christopher to us. He is so precious and perfect. I only wish you could be here to share in his life with your sister and Matt. He is your namesake....but I hope his wild streak is a little less wild than yours was. I am including a poem that I wrote for this your 2nd Angel-Versary. It will be below. I love you forever and a day and I will never stop missing you ever. I am not alone. You are with me always. Hold on tight to My Heartstrings and don't you ever let them go.
Feel My Love ForeverY
Your Loving Mother

On Your Second Angel-Versary
December 3rd, 2007

Brilliant blues and sunshine fill the sky, a gentle breeze passes by
Tomorrow storm clouds may appear it could be raining everywhere
It is now a second year without you so very sad but true
Jarrod you are with me in everything I do

Waking in the morning I see your smiling face
And as I move about my day I feel you every place
I wish that you could hug me and whisper in my ear
Words like “Hi Ma I Love You” that I know I’ll never hear

Loosing you has made a void we all face everyday
So we will always wonder why you went away
Without your love and laughter most days are very long
Yet family ties that bind us help us carry on

Changes have occurred as our family has now grown
Looking back a year ago who could have known
A baby boy named Jarrod is here to cherish and to love
You are his Guardian Angel as you watch him from above

Mommy Jess and Daddy Matt are happy as can be
Jarrod is your namesake as we grow our family tree
Watch over and protect us in everything we do
For, we are blessed to have an Angel as wonderful as you

Now as we all move forward and time just marches on
We’ll hold you close within our hearts and continue to be strong
No one can ever take your place you made your mark when you were here
Just know we love and miss you this year and every year

Loving You Always,
Mom, Dad, Jeff
Jess, Matt & Jarrod
& All Your Family
December 03, 2007
All day I have felt odd, not sure why a slight headache and very irritable. Then Steph called to say she signed your guest book, I read the beautiful poem by your Mom and all of a sudden it hit me today is the day that all of us heard the dreaded news. You had left us in a flash we were all with out you. Although 2 years have passed and it has gotten easier to deal with the sadness and pain in our hearts it is still very deep. We talk about you all the time and out of knowhere Allie or Sadie will blurt our I miss uncle Jarrod. me too, bobby too. I feel bad for all of us, we miss you so much.
Little Jarrod is a beauty too cute for words, he is a handsome little guy. Jess & Matt are lucky, I wish you were here to see him. I just wish you were here see all of us.
Allie lost another tooth and the tooth fairy forgot to come the first night she or he or maybe it was you we are not quite sure but one thing we do know is that a lot of kids must have lost their teeth that day because she had to come the next night :)Allie didn't mind though! thank god! I just wanted to write you a quick note, you are always on my mind and forever in my heart. Love Always, Jen
December 03, 2007
What's up Cous!!
2 Years have passed and not a day goes by that I don't think about you. Can u believe that we moved back to Mass and I now have a 5 month old Son!! of course you believe it, it's me we're talking about. I have not come to your book for quite some time now, and I apologize. I deal with a colicky baby 20 of 24 hrs a day, as u can probably see, Tell him to Give Mom a Break, will ya!! The Holidays are here and they definately aren't the same without you and certainly not the same because the family is here there and everywhere.
Hailey wants to say that she loves you.. she does not understand where u have gone.. but let me tell you- You would get a kich out of her she is a riot!! She has your spunk, I hear Sadie has it too. Guess your genes did pass through the family. We also are blessed, the family, that is, to have another Jarrod to join us. I have yet to meet him, but cannot wait for that day that I do get to meet him.
The Pat's are on in 2 Hours, you will be the Angel in the End Zone as your Mom says, but at this point they don't need the help from above. Lately it is a joke to watch them because all they do is kick butt, there's no challenge anymore.
Maddie just came down, and wanted to tell you that she " Loves You" and every day she will be the best she can be. She also wants to make sure u r looking after us. I told her u always would. She just said she wants to send your mom something in the mail. I guess that will be the next project.
Listen Jarrod, I love you, I Miss You, Please watch over me and my girls, also my new son. Make him stop crying will ya...
You will be with me always.
Your Loving Cousin,
December 03, 2007
The Pats play tonight so we will all be watching. Wishing you were here to watch with us. In our hearts we know you will be and I am hoping and praying this day is not too tough on your family especially your sister ,your mom and your cousins.
Again peace out and know you are always in our thoughts and prayers too so is your family
Mama Eileen and friends and family
December 03, 2007
Jarrod it is so hard to believe that 2 years have passed by so quickly. There is not a day that goes by that all of us from Beef's and the shed do not think about you. You will always be in our hearts and souls.
We miss you so much.Although we did not you long you sure left a huge impact on all of our life's.
Keep those Patriots winning we know you are one of the angels in the endzone :-)
Peace out and all our love forever and a day
Mama from beef's ,Brian and the rest of the gang.
Wish you were here with us to celebrate the Pats and your new niece or nephew and cousins etc. :-) But we all know you are watching over everyone :-)
November 11, 2007
Hi Jarrod, it's me... Ma again.

This is so all who read your Guestbook can see your memorial boards in Osterville as well. I love you and I miss you more than anyone will ever know.
You are with me always.
Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go.
May Our Good Lord Bless and Keep You.
Your Loving Mother
November 11, 2007
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!

I miss you....So much it can never be put into words that can totally tell the story. So much has changed. I am a Grandmother now, Actually I am Nona. Dad is Grampa and you and your brother are Uncles. Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your namesake has arrived and he is absolutely gorgeous. Dad and I were both with Jess and Matt when Jarrod Christopher was born. I can't put into words the feeling that came over me in that minute, except it took my breath away. My saddest moment was not having you with us to share in the joy. You, my Darling Son are with me always. I feel you around me all the time and I do not have to look at a picture to see your beautiful face because I see you everywhere. When I look at the sky or across Tampa Bay....even when I look at Radar and Ninja I see you. It really is your touch that I miss so much. What I would do for a hug. Sometimes I imagine that your big strong arms are reaching right down from Heaven and hugging me. Moments like that, even though they are only moments in my mind are what keep me going. Driving home from Mass with Dad reminded me of our trip here to Florida when we moved here. I remember intersecting with you along the highway. I was so happy to see you that day and it was a very exciting time for us all. Hardly seems that four years have passed so quickly. I was telling someone about Bugsy Beats the other day. Another moment in time that I shall treasure forever. There were days when Bugsy could have toned down the volume for sure, but then that would not have been you. I wish I knew what your absolute favorite song was.....I don't. Maybe it is because you liked them all. You brought so much fun into our family. Everybody's life gets boring from time to time but you were always on the move and trying to keep up with you was a challenge all in itself. While in Mass., Dad & I saw your memorial boards for the first time together. I had seen them before but it was different being there with Dad. The day was beautiful. At the Boardwalk you could smell the ocean and I had to brush a bit of sand off of the engraving. We both really love the location of the boards in Sandwich....they lie just as you start to crest the top of the Boardwalk to the's perfect. At Armstrong-Kelley Park your boards are exactly where they should the Circle of Friends. Being there was so serene. Peaceful and quiet. That park in Ostervillle is just beautiful also and what is so special to me is not only that you have a special place there but that it is the site of the marriage ceremony of your cousin and best friend. Jen and Bobby had a beautiful wedding in the park and just knowing that you stood beside them as Bobby's best man makes your boards at Armstrong -Kelley all the more special. Before we left the park we walked the path to Liam's train. The whole day was very inspiring. Of course, I cried but as I have done before and will do again....I kissed your boards. I love you so much. My life is different now without you in it. I never thought I would survive but here I am......without you.
Watch over me and all of us. I know we will meet again one day. I look forward to that day more than I can ever express to anybody. May our Good Lord Bless and Keep You. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go.
I love you forever and a day!
Your Loving Mother
September 17, 2007
I miss you so much, its still hard to believe you are not here. Allie was telling her friend that you are the tooth fairy thank god her friends mother is my friend cause otherwise she would think we are completely crazy...but then again we are! haha. I wish you could be here to meet your nephew, my eyes well up everytime I think about you not being here for the day he is born. I know its going to be happy and sad all at the same time for Jess, we all know you are here in spirit but reality is your not. That little boy will have lots of love and laughter and we all will tell him stories of his Uncle Jarrod and he will know you, through us. Send Jess some luck and make him come out fast and pain free... haha. I haven't written in a long time, i am not sure why. I just thought this was a good time to send you a message soon before we have a wonderful new family member. I can't wait to see him. Will he be A big bad Bourget or Gaudette???? Keep watching you'll/ we'll now soon! Can you believe Sadie is in Preschool & Allie is Kindergarten? I am getting old...Sending you Lots of Love
September 15, 2007
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!

Wow....It has been a bit since my last entry into your Guestbook, but I am never without you...not even for a minute and I believe I am always with you. Same old statement....I miss you so much! I have a new job now and I work in Clearwater....what a commute! When I travel there I have you with me every step of the way. The "ME TOO" bracelet that your sister got me hangs on my rear view mirror and I also have your picture on my visor. During stand still traffic snarls I look at your beautiful face and know that you are watching over me...I feel you all around me. Anyway, pretty soon I am going to be a Grandma/Nona. I have not decided what I want the little one to call me yet.....I am thinking Nona because in my Italian heritage that is what Grandma's are. He is due to arrive in less than a month and I am so excited. Dad and I will be heading north as soon as we get the call...for a week. I was home not long ago for baby showers for your sister and all I can tell you is that "BG" doesn't need a thing. Already he is going to be a well-dressed kid, and that includes all his Patriot and Adidas outfits.....Yeah Man!!!
Your sister knows that they came from you thru me. Well, here we are at the start of the football still will never be the same without you....but we are all tuned in. The Pats stomped the Jets last week....Good job, our Angel in the End Zone..... Matt has a fantasy football team and he calls it "Team BG". I don't know enough about fantasy football to participate. If you were here you could have certainly taught me. Now, I work in an office of all women and I do not think that any of then are into football. I guess I will have to work hard to spark their interest. I just may get a Patriots tattoo. I love my tattoos. If I get one, I will do it for you and I will bring Jeff and he can get one too. We have all turned into big Nascar fans as well. The boys, Radar & Ninja are awesome!! You can see know. It has been a hot summer and I can hardly wait for fall to cool things off. I see you in everything I do, and I feel you with me all the time. I miss you everyday with all of my being and only wish I had you here to talk with, walk with, play with, or just HUG!! I will be with you one day and that is what gives me strength to keep going. I love you with all of my heart. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't you ever let them go.
May our Good Lord Bless & Keep You.
My heart is yours forever.
Your Loving and Lonely Mother
September 10, 2007
Hi big brother,
I can't believe it's been 1 year and 9 months since you've been gone. I still don't think I really believe it.... maybe it's my mind protecting me from full 100% heartbreak and ache. Somedays I still think I'm gonna see you again...or hear from you again... I wish it, hope for it. I know it won't happen, but I can pretend.
I just miss you and wish you were here. I've always believed that you would always be here for me forever...
Well 4 weeks to go til my little one arrives..... he has an Angel in Heaven that's for sure.

All my love,
Your little sis.
July 27, 2007
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!

Caught myself crying a few minutes ago as I was heading up the stairs to the office. I was talking to you....Did you hear me? It is always the same old question...Why did you leave us? We have a strong family. Both you, Jeff and Dad are made of strong character and will and your sister and I are strong, warm and loving women. Loosing you just confirmed that the strength of a family can carry you through the darkest of days. Life sure has its shares of ups and downs. Here we all are, me, Dad, Jeff, Radar and Ninja right here in the place that you ultimately brought us all to. I am very grateful for all the wonderful things I have. I only wish our family and extended families were nearby. I wish you could see your'd have google eyes. In about 10 weeks we will have a new addition to our family. I can hardly wait. I am flying back to Boston in a few weeks to go to your sister's baby shower. I will be seeing many family and friends I have not seen for a very long time. It will be great and probably a little sad all at once. Baby has a name but the parents to be are not giving it up yet. I wish I knew, but for now I will continue to call him BG. Speaking of babies, your cousin Stephanie and Joe just had a baby boy, little Joey. I have only seen a few pictures but he is just beautiful and I know you would love him. I can hardly believe that his big sisters, Maddie and Hailey are almost seven and three. I can still see you and Maddie having a tea party. I think she will always remember were such fun. All the boys are in the pool, right now....I didn't feel like going in. I have used the pool much more this summer but I sure do wish I had you to goof around with. Over and over I ask myself why you left me? Sad thing is I will never get an answer until I meet you in Heaven one day. That day will come and when it does it will finally erase the saddest day in my life that I have ever had to endure. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. That's all....there is nothing more I can say.
Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't you ever, ever, ever let them go.
May Our Lord Bless and Keep You My Darling Son.
You have my Heart Forever.
I Love You
Your Loving and Lonely Mother
July 01, 2007
Hi Jarrod, it me Ma!

I love you my darling. It is Sunday evening and I just found myself getting both melancholy and emotional thinking about you. I think about you each and every day and you are a part of the beat of my heart that continues even though you are gone. I still ask over and over, why you left me. You said you would be here forever and you just don't know how much I was counting on that. Pretty soon I am going to be another year older and I will have a hard time enjoying my day without you. I really sometimes still wonder how I survive here. I miss your sister so much and yes, we have had wonderful news. I am finally going to be a Grandmother. It seems like I have waited forever. I am ecstatic. My only wish is that I was closer. I have been home to see your sister and it was great. She looks so cute. You can see her so you know. This visit we were able to share some wonderful memories about you and it made it much more fun. I am looking a a pictire of the coastline of Maine and it is making me think of all the fun times we had as a family visiting coastlines. How much fun did we have on our vacations to Martha's Vineyard, Huh? And what about all those day trips to the forts in Hull so we could fly kites. When you and your brother and sister and me and Dad were on top of those walls it seemed like we could see forever...great view. As usual you were the biggest daredevil. We had a lot of great times flying kites together. So many days I wish I could turn back time. In a couple of days it will be the fourth of July, that was definitely one of your favorite holidays. Your first one at not quite six months old was celebrated in on the Esplanade in Boston. Dad and I back & front packed you and Jeff in with a bunch of friends. It was a good time. All those bright lights must have gotten you hooked before you knew it. We went as a family to the Esplanade many times and everytime was great. I don't expect we will be doing much of anything, but the school will shoot them off so we can see them right out the front door. Two years ago we had a great cookout and so much fun. That is when Jocelyn and Quinn came to visit you. Leave it to you about the ladies. It was few and far between times that you didn't have a beautiful girl hanging on your arm. I like watching the Boston Pops on tv. Is that a sign of old age? When you look down on me from Heaven...I don't always look my best. Sometimes I have big circles under my eyes that make me look like a raccoon I think. If I still wore glasses those circles wouldn't show so much. I wonder what you would think of your old Ma without glasses... but you can see me. Today we had a few real good thunder boomers and some much needed rain. It has been dismal and gloomy for much of the afternoon so we all just laid around...I wish I had you here to hug. If I close my eyes I can feel your big warm arms around me. I miss you so much my heart hurts everyday...but you are never far are with me always.
Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever let them go.
I love you forver and a day
Your Loving Mother
May 14, 2007
Hi Big Brother,
Well you already know this I'm sure, but you're going to officially be an Uncle. Yup, Matt and I are having a baby :)
It's such great news for our family, brings a little happiness back into all of our lives. I know if you were here you would be so happy for us and just itching to meet the little one! I just wish that you were here. Here is another moment in my life when I need you to be here and your not. Another big milestone with no Jarrod to share it with.
I promise with all my heart and soul to make sure our baby know's his Uncle Jarrod and how wonderful of a person you were and if you were still here how great of a godfather and uncle you would be. It just breaks my heart that baby gaudette won't get the chance to personally know you, but such is life :(
All my love Jarrod forever and ever.
Missing you,
your little sis
April 28, 2007
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!

I miss you so much. I haven't written in your book in a bit now but I write in my mind and heart everyday. Thursday night I fell asleep on the sofa as I was dealing with yet another headache. During my snooze I started dreaming and I am not sure exactly what it was all about except that you were in it, and you were probably a teen. I think it was back n Forestdale and Sam & Gizmo were there. I could see you laughing and playing with them in the yard. I hardly ever have you visit in my dreams so this my darling son was awesome. Unfortunately, Dad woke me to go to bed and when I came to, I got upset because I felt I had lost your presence. Once I got in bed I started to cry because I miss and love you so much. I want you in my life so know, present and accounted for. I am never without you for more than a minute and although time has passed and they say you start to... but it will never be complete. Losing a vital member of your family never gets any easier but you start to deal with it a bit better. Dad and I were talking about you last night with Dad & Jeff's friend Eric that they mountain bike with. The discussion was pool cages and we were talking about both you and Jeff working on the roofs. Jeff is unbelievably comfortable and extremely fast now but as far as daring and being fearless you would get the prize for sure. When I wrote your poem on your Angel-versary I have the poem atop a picture of you on a pool cage. Everytime I look at it, I wish I could see you in action again. I have been interviewing for a new job as I lost my last one (no regrets, it is actually for the better). In conversation, my family and you have come up and I tell anyone who cares to listen that the one thing I miss most about you is that you were so much fun. Now, don't think for a minute that there aren't a million more beautiful things I miss, but boy oh boy did you bring fun to this family. We have received good news of late but I do not feel that I can talk about it right here. I am sure that you are very aware and happy just like the rest of us. I believe in my heart Jarrod that you have gone on to a better place and that you are happy and thriving. So many bad things seem to happen here on many beautiful young people just like you have lost their lives. In thinking about that I really believe that God does have a Kingdom of Heaven and he is the lucky one because he has so many beutiful people to share his Kingdom. Sometimes it is hard to believe that I have lasted so long here in Florida. It is a beautiful place but New England will always be my home. Speaking of home....I have been painting this one inside and it is so different and color has changed so much. There were many times I was on a ladder and I felt you right there beside me as if you could catch me if I had fallen, so having said that I believe you see and know all that I ultimately end up telling you. The weather is finally getting hot but the pool is still too chilly. The boys, Radar and Ninja love it. They are so truly awesome and we love them so. I am sure you are checking all of us out everyday so you can certainly see how big they are. I keep thinking about Mother's Day. It is not far away and I sometimes wonder how I am going to make it through. Last year, your cousin Jen, Bobby and the girls made it one hundred percent better when my beautiful bouquet of roses arrived and the card read.."I am always with you, Love Jarrod & the Murphys". Jen said that you inspired her to send those beautiful roses to me and I saved three which are in your cabinet. I am not sure how I will make it through again this year but maybe it will be just one bit easier. I have and hold you in my heart always, and as I have said a million times you may have left me and all of us in body and presence but you are not gone. You are with me everyday and every step of the way. I got an e-mail recently with the following quote attached to the end of it and it reads as follows: "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body but rather to skid in sideways, champage in one hand and strawberries in the other throughly used up and totally worn out screaming WHOO HOOO...What a Ride". Now, you did not have a chance to get used up or worn out, but you definately took the ride and I am happy that you rose to every occassion, faced every challenge head on and made so many wonderful friends and loved your family as you did. No one can ever replace the joy that you brought to each and everone of us. I love you Jarrod with all of my being. I will write again Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't you ever let them go.
May God Bless You and Keep You.
I remain
Your Loving and Lonely Mother
April 16, 2007
This is such a beautiful tribute to's obvious the love that you all shared for one another, and the photos of him with families and friends are great. I couldn't help but smile while looking at them...he has such a contagious smile! He is an angel now...he's your angel, and I hope you can feel him with you always.

Thea (ASG)
April 02, 2007
Hi, Jarrod
It's your cousin Dee. I read this tribute to you all the time and i am crying so bad after that i can't say anything, all i want to do is put my head under a pillow and scream and cry. But this time i figured that i could cry at the same time. I miss you sooo much!!!
Nicole asked about you the other day, i told her you were with God and watching to make sure we were all ok! Then walked out of the room and cried. I can't help it...I am a big mush...There are picture's of you everywhere, we all miss you like crazy!!!!!!!!! I Love You!!! I'll see you when i get there.....Be Good
March 23, 2007
Dear Jess and Karen, what an absolutely beautiful tribute to Jarrod. The pictures show the love that you feel for each other. Embrace those memories! Please accept my deepest sympathy on the tragic loss of such a handsome,wonderful young man.
March 22, 2007
To the family of Jarrod Bourget:

Let me first express my deepest condolences. Your beloved Jarrod was obviously quite a man. I know he is sorely missed by you all. Jess, this is for you, "A love like no other, that's the love between a sister and brother" You're in my thoughts.
March 22, 2007
Hi Darling, it's me Ma !

Wow, I haven't written in more than a month which is really unusual for me. Doesn't mean that you are not in my thoughts morning, noon and night of everyday. I miss you so much...the pain will never go away. When I talk about you to other people now, I think about all the good times we had together and I summarize it all by saying we just had "fun". You brought so much spark to this family. On a few occassions we had some fires to put out but it was still fun. Here I am 3 1/2 yrs almost living in this "sunshine state" and I still say I could take it or leave it. I sometimes cannot believe how much my life has changed over that period of time and with bad news comes good news and vice versa. I am once again looking for a job. The big guy cut alot of people loose over the past few weeks and I just happened to be one of them. Job huntig is not fun and I have been at the computer for hours. I am confident something will come along soon. This life of mine has certainly been challenging since we moved to Florida. I am a creature of habit and I really don't like change all that much. When you left me, my life changed forever and I am coping but I will carry the pain of loosing you in my heart and soul forever. This is just a short love note to tell you once again how much I love and adore you. Smile down on me from Heaven and Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go.
A Million Hugs & Kisses
Your Loving & Lonely Mother
March 21, 2007
Hi Jarrod,
I have been thinking about you alot lately, I haven't written in a while, I just haven't been in the right mood too. Life is still crazy with the girls! We just got back last week from 10 days in the Keys it was very relaxing.
We just signed Alexis up for soccer and sponsored her team...the Men At Work Landscaping team!!!! never saw that coming! Funny how things change as we age! We looked for you and Santa on the plane but I guess you were both busy! maybe next time..haha. I will chat again soon, I look at your picture on our desk everyday and I say something mean to you, usually. but there is only love behind it and you know "it's all good" as you would say. hugs & kisses.
love Jen
I will post pictures soon when I have 2 hours to upload them. dial up is very slow...
March 19, 2007
Hi Jarrod,
There's nothing special about today, just missing you. I just wanted to write it down...I miss you everyday, every single day. Still wish this was a dream, still wish I would wake up, still wish I had my big brother here.
I don't know what else to say, I just miss you :(
Love, your baby sis
February 14, 2007
Hi Jarrod, it's me Ma!!

Happy Valentines Day Darling. Oh, how I miss you. I know if you were still here with me you would have bounded through the door today with that big smile and warm heart and extra special hug. In your hands there would be a gift of some type and a card. I really miss the card. I did not get a single one today and that makes me very sad. It is just not the same without you...Valentines Day or anyday. Every day is lonely. I guess only another mother that has lost a child can truly feel my pain. I can still feel your warmth and presence around me all the time but it hurts to not have you here with me. It is a very lonely day today. I woke up feeling really bad...had a severe headache but I went off to work. I called Jess on the way to wish her a Happy Valentines Day. I do not like being away from her. I miss the closeness so much. You had so much love in your heart, you would never forget a day like today no matter how hard you were working or how busy you were. Why oh why did you have to leave me. I have my three red roses that Jess sent me last Valentine's Day to synbolize the love of my three wonderful children in your cabinet. I will keep them forever. I would think that all young lovers and maybe even some old ones would be out this evening having a nice romantic dinner. I am sure that you would be doing just that and perhaps you are up in Heaven. When I look into the night sky, I always look for your STAR. I find you too. I know you are shining down on me and all our family. Your beautiful light and spirit will never grow dim. Such lonely days and such lonely nights. I miss your laughter and all your antics. I would sell my soul if you could just be hear to say "Happy Valentines Day Ma...I Love You" and give me a big bear hug. I hear those words...I hear them in my heart. You, my precious Darling Son are with me forever. I am sad so I will go rest for now but I am never far away. I love and adore you with all of my being. You hold on extra tight to my HEARTSTRINGS and don't ever let them go.
May God Watch Over You Forever.
Your Loving, Lonely, and Devoted VALENTINE.....Ma.
January 28, 2007
Hey's us

Ninja & Radar

We just want to let you know that we miss you so much everyday. Life is very different since you left us. Don't worry at all though, because we are very loved and extremely spoiled. Dad, Mom & Jeff do a great job giving us all the love and attention we need. We just wish we could get more from you. We bet that you are helping to take care of all the wonderful dogs up in Heaven and you probably have a best buddy. That's okay....just don't forget us, and just like our banner says:

Happy Birthday, Jarrod
Lots & Lots of paws & licks
Your best buddies forever
Ninja & Radar
January 28, 2007
Hi Jarrod, it's Ma again.

Another beautiful picture attached of your ballons floating up to the Heavens to greet you. As you can see, it was a beautiful day and the wind was carrying them right out over Tampa Bay. HOLD ON TIGHT TO MY HEARTSTRINGS AND DON'T YOU EVER LET THEM GO.
I Love you, Darling
Happy Birthday!!!!!!
Your Loving and Lonely Mother
January 28, 2007
Hi Sweetheart, it's me Ma !!

It is Sunday morning, 6:15 a.m. Thinking about you as I always do and was too restless to stay in be bed, so I am writing you a love note and this is extra special because it is about your Birthday. I should be trying to sleep in on the weekends but that usually doesn't happen. It rained most of the night. I still do not like it banging and tapping on the pan roof of the lanai. Well, I need to tell you that I made your lasagna. It's a tradition and I decided that I must. Last Sunday the 21st, I had it all ready for a small football gathering and to celebrate in a small and quiet and very sentimental way, your 32nd Birthday. As you know football, our New England Patriots did not come out of that game as we all wanted but there is always next year. We still had fun, cheered and hooted and hollered and at half time we had lasagna and all the trimmings. I even made a great dessert called a banana-split brownie pie. It was yummy and you would have loved it. I ate your piece. The SuperBowl won't be fun this year in my opinion. Peyton is a great quarterback but I did not want to see him get there at the demise of the Pats. I guess I want the Bears to win, and I am not even sure if I will watch or not. Also on Sunday we had a special celebration for your birthday. It all began as an idea of your sisters and revolved around this beautiful balloon poem that Jess found and I will enter at the end of my love note. At 2:00 o'clock on Sunday afternoon from here and Cape Cod, balloons were sent to you in Heaven with a big "Happy Birthday Wish". Jennifer and I were on the phone together and I read the balloon poem to you and then we released the balloons to travel away and bring the special message that you are forever in our minds and hearts and souls. Did you see them or catch one? They were a bunch of differnt colors. Bobby even suggested black ones because that was your favorite color and we did that, but Jennifer and I each put the balloon poem in the gold balloon becuase the color gold is bright and warm like sunshine and just like you. There also was a "Happy Birthday Balloon from each of us too. Ally let yours go from the Cape and it was a Happy Face. She was so excited because she really hopes that you especially caught her balloon. Jess planned to do the celebration with us but was not feeling well that day. She misses you so much as we all do, she will find a special day to do it all on her own and you will see and catch a ballon, I just know it. I sat on the day of your birthday and a few days since then and looked at so many photo albums. Pictures of you and our family that warmed my heart and touched my soul. Thirty happy wonderful years, so many fun memories. Your "My life in the 20th century" album that I mad you and Jeff and Jess is the best one. So funny and so many great stories behind every picture. I am so glad that I did that for all of you, a keepsake that will last forever and I will treasure yours for the rest of my life. I laughed quite a bit when I looked at all those pictures. That is something I haven't done in a long time. Well, our family is smaller here in Florida now as both Uncle John and Stephanie and her family have moved backed to Mass. I knew for a long time that John was going to go, it was just a matter of when. I have such strange feelings about everytning that has happened with Stephanie. I wish her well but am very disappointed in that everything I tried to help her with was for not. Sometimes in life you learn lessons the hard way and I will just chalk that up to a lesson well learned. Radar and Ninja went to the vet yesterday for their annual check-ups. I gave them both a bath before we went and man 'o man is that a chore giving such big boys back to back baths....oh, my aching back. Perfect bills of health and they weighed in at Ninja, 105 and Radar 95. You should be impressed they are so awesome. I will never let them forget you because I tell them about how much you love them all the time. Wow, I can hear it pouring rain right now so I guess that will cancel out Jeff's Sunday morning mountain bike ride with Eric. Dad has not been going because of his shoulder bothering him. Oh, Darling I miss you so much. The pain will never go away. I know you are still here with me but I would give up anything if I could just get one more hug and hear those words, "I love you Ma" again. It is true that loved ones left behind do start to recover, so slowly but the voids and the emptiness are never going to go away, not until we are together again one day and I guess that is what keeps me going. Someday, I know we will be together again. Here is the poem that was read aloud to you in the backyard on the Sunday following your Birthday and some new pictures to capture the moment are added to your album.

To be read for Jarrod’s 32nd Birthday, January 17, 1975-2007

As the strings slip through our hands
we think of the loving care you brought to this land
We watch as the balloons float away
Just like when you sadly left us that day

They float up into the beautiful cloud
And we hear you laughing loud and proud
Up to the Heavens high above
Carrying the poem from us with so much love

The life you lived celebrated this day
That is what the balloons are meant to say
Receive these balloons with gentle care
They symbolize the love that is still there

Balloons, we release you to float away
Make sure you get up to Jarrod this day
We release you into the sky
We watch you float, we watch you fly

Jarrod, catch these balloons on this bittersweet day
Read the poem and then go play
Keep us in your hearts
You may be gone but we shall not part

So float in the Heavens and play in the clouds
We’re releasing these balloons from our heart to yours

Author Unknown

I love you with all of my being. Youe truly are a most wonderful and amazing son. The saddest day of my life was the day I lost you and sadly it will never be the same. HOLD ON TIGHT TO MY HEARTSTRINGS AND DON'T YOU EVER LET THEM GO.
May the good Lord Bless You and keep You safe.
Your Loving and Lonely Mother
Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!
January 18, 2007
Happy birthday Belated, as everything I do lately is...So sorry. I laid down with Sadie and fell asleep asual lately. I can't help it she is so soft and cuddly! Seeing how as of this time now she will be last baby..Bobby is being nuedered (i think i spelled it wrong!) now! What a brave hubby I have, can you believe your best friend is having his "manhood" tied in a knot! haha. Jess came down yesterday and we went to lunch and laughed we had a great time. Its hard to believe that it took Karen moving to Florida and you moving on.. for us to bond as we have. I love her and I am so happy we have become close. Its nice we laugh and get along so well its funny how things happen but they all do for a reason. She went with me to register Alexis for Kindergarten what I though would be 15 minutes turned into well over a hour. I can't believe she is starting kindergarten time flies. We all miss you so much. I didn't write at Christmas or New Years I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was at a loss for words if you can believe that one! Watch over us and keep us safe.
Loving you with all my heart.
January 17, 2007
Jarrod, it's Ma!!

Here we are again, 2007, your birthday and we as your sister said are "The Rememberers". There is not one thing about you that any of us do not remember. Thirty-two years ago right now, I was in heavy labor laying in Quincy City Hospital awaiting your arrival. Way back then, mothers did not have the luxury of knowing if they were having a boy or girl. All I know (knew) is that I wanted you to be a boy and I got my wish. Dad, and your Godmother Diana Dunmire were with me the whole time. It was so exciting. Your did not take long to arrive because we got to the hospital at 3:a.m. and you were born at exactly 9: a.m. All 7lbs 2 oz. You were the smallest, but you had the biggest heart and you were definitely the most rambunctious and challenging. I remember when you were 8, and you told me you were only going to be 1/2 years older because you did not like your birthday in January. Snowstorms or hockey tournaments always got in the way and you wanted to be 8 1/2, 9 1/2 and so on. That landed your 1/2 birthday celebration right on mine. Connected and bonded for life. Well, for as much as those winter birthdays bothered you at least you got to celebrate some in the beautiful Florida sinshine and warm weather. Today, the forecast is for some rain, but I know the sun will be shining, if not here than most definitely up in Heaven. Your sister and I have a special moment we are planning for Sunday afternoon to remember your Birthday. On Sunday, I will tell you more. We decided that Sunday is the perfect day and we will start before our New England Patriots take the field to whoop Peyton Manning and the Colts. After they win on Sunday, I am planning a flying Elvis tattoo. It will be on my calf and it will be yours. I will just be housing it, if you will. Remember, you are the Angel in the End Zone and we are all counting on you!! Football will never be the same without you, but just as Jess said that she feels your presence all around her, so do I and when they win on Sunday...we will have you cheering right here along with us. I always wear your/my Bruschi #54 shirt. When I put it on I can feel you hugging me. I have been in a little dilemma about lasagna...I kind of feel lost. So I think I will make some for Sunday and then I won't be rattling around wondering why I have not done it. I told the story to my boss the other day about how I always made you so much lasagna for your Birthday and that you really never shared but on an occasion if a friend or family member asked permission you would let go of a piece. Eating all that lasagna, I don't know why you never gained a pound. All that high energy, I guess. I even remeber when you flew down here to Florida and you took two frozen pans of it on the funny was that....typically you. Oh Darling, I miss you so much. One year ago I did not think I could ever go on, but here I sit without you. As I have said so many times before, you may not be here with me anymore but you will never be out of my life. We will be together again. I love you with all of my being and miss you so much everyday it really hurts. Hold on tight to my HEARTSTRINGS and don't you ever let them go!!!
God Bless you
I Love You So Very Much.
Your Loving & Lonely Mother
January 15, 2007
Hiya Big Brother!
I know I'm writing in here a lot, but I gotta say it again....
YEAH Patriots!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!
We had people over yesterday, made lots of food and watched the game.
At the end when we won, I held your picture up facing the TV.....and me crazy, but whatever. I tell ya, I feel your presence around me when football is on, I can feel you watching the game with me, it's really cool!

Missing you each and everyday that passes.....your little sis.
January 08, 2007
Dear Jarrod,
YEAH Patriots!!!!!
I was at the game yesterday at Gilette Stadium with Matt and a bunch of other people....It was a gorgeous day out. 55 Degrees and sunny all day on January 7, 2007....WOW! All day I felt your prescense around was really cool. It was a really happy fun day, I 100% enjoyed myself. We all were decked out in our Pats gear....I had my fleece and hat that was your's on....
All during the game, I felt like you were sitting right next to me
rooting for the Pats and hooting and hollering.....
I just wanted to say that I've never felt closer to you since you
passed away.
I Love You and Miss You Everyday that goes by....
~Your little sis
PS - GO PATS!!!!
January 02, 2007
Hi Jarrod,
Happy New Year my dear sweet big brother! I miss you so much, I know if you were here I would have had the pleasure of answering your yearly jovial "happy new year" call at approximatley 12:01am :)
Anyway, I found this, I wanted to share as all of your family and friends are your "Rememberers"

We are the rememberers,
the people left behind
to keep the one who's gone from us,
alive in heart and mind,
the people left to cherish
and preserve a legacy....
Yes, we are the rememberers, and we will always be.

I love you, I miss you,
Forever your little sis....
December 31, 2006
New Years Eve 2006

Hello My Darling Son,

I just read the entry I wrote one year ago tonight. It is still truly hard to believe that a year has come and gone. Once again as I write this love note there are fireworks going off all around us and the boys are on full alert. This year we have Muddy with us as Uncle John is back in New England for a visit. This past week has been a tough one, ever since Christmas Day. Our pre-Christmas was really good as we went back home for three days to be with Jess & Matt and the family. Different from July when I was there alone...this time I felt a little bit more like seeing people and it was good. I did not handle Christmas Day very well and this past week has been one I would like to forget. I have made alot of mistakes over the past year, things I cannot change but I can work to try and improve how things go on from here. A big part of the problem is that I guess I have just not known how to live my life happily without you. Well, now it is time to figure it out. I just read a book your brother Jeff gave me for is called "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Albom. It is a really beautiful book and it has made me realize that your life did not end but has continued in other meaningful ways. Although you are not here for me to see and touch and talk to are all around me and each of us and now I know that our lives will all connect again and you have most likely connected with people that have gone before you and by doing so, hopefully it has helped you to find the meaning in your life. I realize now that when my turn comes to go to heaven, I believe that you will be one of the five people waitng for me. I really have been thankful all my life for the many beautiful things I husband, my children, my family, my health, and now my memories. I have to carry them with me always and rejoice in the wonderful times I had with you and all my loved ones that I have lost. But now it is time for me to rejoice with my loved ones that I still have here on earth with me. No one knew your time was December 3rd 2005...just like I do not know when my time will from now on I have to start looking at things differently. I am making a promise to myself (a New Year's Resolution, I guess) to be happy. To love and cherish the people I still have to share my life with and to love and cherish each and every precious memory I have of you and our complete and wonderful family for thirty years. It is time to start being a wonderful family again and as the matriach of this should start with me. I will do my best to be happy. Dad and I went for a bike ride in the neighborhood today. It is the first bike ride I have taken in more than three years and you know what it was fun. I am going to make a point of it to do it a few days a week at least. They say exercise is a good way to release stress and anger and it is time I start doing some of that. We did go and watch the Pats beat the Tennessee Titans today at Beef's with other Pat fans, and in as much as I hesitated it was fun. I need to start having fun again. You want that for me, I know. I am going to go downstairs now and tell Dad that I think we should go and visit Eric and Van. They called and invited us over for a bit and I think this is the way to start things off on the right foot. Nothing in my heart will ever change when it comes to you. I will love and adore you forever and a day and I will never stop missing you. I am so sorry all of our lives had to change...but change they did and now we all must go on and that definitely includes me. I love you with all of my being and you are never far away. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't you ever let them go.
Happy New years Darling !!!
May the Good Lord Bless and Keep You and don't you be having too much fun up in Heaven. As I told many times before.....BEHAVE !!!
I love you forever and a day.

Your Loving Mother
December 25, 2006
Hi Sweetheart, it's me Ma!

Well, here it is Christmas day...I'm sorry I just cannot say M***y C*******s because it absolutely is not. I am so sad today and nothing matters. As I sit and look at the C*******s tree (the lights are not even on) I am finding it depressing. Dad and Jeff are here with me. We had a small exchange of gifts and now they are cooking breakfast. It is s gray and rainy day here in blue skies, but definately a BLUE C*******s. Last year was very bad but this year is worse. The house is empty of joy and happiness. I thought for sure as life continued to pass by that my home would be filled with family and children as I got older and now it is empty. Family is far away, no laughter from young nieces and nephews or grandchildren and it is at the total opposite end of the spectrum from where I thought it would be someday. Life without you has made me miserable. I know if you were here with us today things would be so different. Why did you leave me??? I have changed forever and nothing will repair the pain or agony I carry in my heart each and every day. I love you Darling. Are you happy with God and the Angels?? Now that you have moved on to a better place I wish you peace and happiness. I just wish I could have a bit of that for myself. My love for you will carry on thru eternity and you will never leave my mind or my heart...there really is no Christmas without you and our family being together and there will never be again. I will write again later on, maybe I will find a way to be a bit brighter in my thoughts. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go. You are my Angel.
May God Bless You & Keep You.

Your Heartbroken Mother
December 20, 2006
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!!

Wow, this has been a really tough month so far and I am not even sure where to begin. I should have sent a love note sooner but I have been very sad. I cried for a while tonight, not that I don't cry everyday. I told Dad again as I have told him a million times, I don't believe that anyone really really knows how much I miss you. My life is so lonely now, maybe if your sister was closer to me it would be sad that will never happen. If you could only put your arms around me one more time it just might make all the difference in the world. I have been singing the song..."Blue Christmas" to myself so much lately. That is how it feels. The house may be trimmed in red and green but it is really blue. We did decorate the house this looks so nice. The whole time Dad, Jeff and I were putting up the decorations I had to keep telling myself I was doing it for you, and if you were still here with me it probably would have been done one week sooner. I lost the battle for an artificial tree again this year as I always do. We did but a beautiful blue spruce and Dad and I did decorate it. That was extremely hard and I cried. Hanging keepsake ornaments that you made and special ones that were made for you. This year the tree topper is an Angel because you are my Angel up in Heaven. Uncle John White told me that ever since Mikey left he buys an Angel for his tree each year and now he will forever buy two. I have done the same and there are two new sets of Angels on our tree, for you & Mikey. Last Christmas and this one. I haven't spent too much time in front of the tree because it just makes me too sad. Tomorrow Dad and I are off to see Jess and Matt and Jen and Bobby and the rest of the family for a few days. Jeff and the boys will be here and we will be back on Christmas Eve. Watch over us in our journey. It will be wonderful to be with Jess & Matt, but also strange. I always thought as I got older that all my family would be together and now we are without you and celebrating in different locations far apart and not all together and that is just not right. I am not sure I will be able to handle all the christmas fun and frivolity because my life is just to painful right now. I have so much to tell you but I must go for now. I love you Darling so much. behave up there and always keep a special watch on your old Ma. One day we we will be together again. May God Bless and Keep You safe. Hold on to my heartstrings and don't you ever let them go.
Hugs... a Million fold, forever and a day.

Your Loving and Lonely Mother
December 09, 2006
Hi Guys,
Hope all is well concidering all your heartache, I feel for you. It's most likely a fact that you will not lose this heartache but there are fond memories which I'm sure Jarrod would want you to think of instead. Jarrod was a happy soul, yes? I'm sure he wouldn't want to be associated with bringing on pain to his Loved Ones. And I'm sure there are PLENTY of happy memories which Jarrod may be responsible (BIG SMILE) Yes, our World is at a loss but please remember that we are truly blessed for having him as a part of our lives. Think of all the poor souls who never had a chance to sample Jarrod's wondeful spirit. They are the ones who should be feeling heartache! Keep the Spirit alive.
Love you all & stay Happy for Jarrod's sake. I'm sure he'd want it that way.
And Karen, you should sleep later in the morning! Those 4AM entries are making ME tired! (smile)
Love you all,
December 03, 2006
A Brother Lost

Lifted up on shattered wings
A broken soul my heart sings
Tears of sadness flow from my eyes
Nevermore to see blue skies

Lonely wandering throughout this town
Upon my heart I wear a frown
Sadly weeping for what is lost
Not a thought about the cost

A best friend gone from sight and sound
Must now speak to the cold ground
A brother forever but here no more
No one knows what lies in store

Leaving this world, not coming back
A person in whole, that is a fact
Smiles and laughter, no part of you now
Will see you again, someway, somehow

Quietly praying for some relief
Wanting to hide from all this grief
Easier knowing you’re with me always
Wanting to join you on the bad days

Missing you, Loving you
Forever, your little sis
December 03, 2006
Hello Again,
As I read the past few entries tears filled my eyes everyone who loved you knew you so well. You had a great passion for life you did everything to the fullest you are everything that everyone has said about you. Through our lives teogher you gave me so much to be thankful for we all know what I mean. You were such a great friend of mine even if we weren't getting along in my heart I knew you would always be looking out for me. Thank you for your love, patience and friendship. I miss you so much everytime you enter my mind tears roll down my face and then I remember you being silly and I laugh. You were your own little legend. You accomplished most of what you wanted and tried your best at the rest. I know someday we will all be with you again until then watch over us and keep us safe. Loving you forever.
***psss wasn't Alexis awesome last night? she loved having all that attention....reminded me a bit of you!
December 02, 2006
What's up Cous!!
It's me Steph....
I saw your Mom and Dad today, it was not easy being there on this very sad day. One of my last memories with you was with you and Madelynne, having a tea Party. You were talking like an English man and having Maddie stick out her pinky. You corrected her until she had it right!!
I can't believe it has been a year, what a long tough year with out you with us. Half the Bourget's came to Florida... alot of them to be at your side and help run Screen I have said before I came to Florida, and never got to live the Florida lifestyle with you.
I think back to when we lived together in Dartmouth and you would let you 7 1/2 ft Burmeise Python slither across the floor, or chase me around with saying "he's gonna get ya!!" or even when were were kids, on Cape Cod, you and I were the ones that always ran off to the basement to try to drink beers we just took from the cooler, I think we were lucky to get away with one time. Wow, how we were partners in crime. You have given me such fond memories, and have given me so much to smile about, especially now when I sit around and talk about you to your friends you left behind to me. Words cannot explain the pain and heartache I feel, we all feel today. You can never be replaced, I can still hear your laughter and see your smiling face.
Today, I was so upset, and poor little Hailey just kept telling me it would be o.k. If she only got the chance to know what a great, caring, loving uncle and cousin you were. As I have said and always will You are my brother... so keep shining down on me and keep us safe.
All my love
your Loving Cousin
December 02, 2006

On this the Angel-Versary of your passing, I wrote this poem to you one night a few weeks ago when I lay in bed just thinking about you and missing you like crazy. I want to share it now with all who read your Guestbook.

Jarrod Matthew Bourget
1-17-75 12-03-05

On Your First Angel-Versary

A very sad year has just gone by
And still we sit and wonder why
You left us all on that dreadful day
So hard to believe you've gone away

No one can ever take your place
Your wrap-around hugs and warm embrace
You lived on the edge and loved every minute
Life is so different now without you in it

Each of us loves you so very much
We miss your smile, laugh and tender touch
Your zest for life and your daring ways
Forever with us you will always stay

Our son, brother, nephew, cousin and friend
One day we will all be together again
Our memories and love will never cease
May your beautiful soul Rest In Peace

Loving & Missing You Forever
Mom, Dad, Jeff, Jess & Matt
All Your Family and Friends.

My Beautiful Son, I will love you forever. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go.

God Bless You
Your Loving Mother
December 02, 2006
To My Son,

Tomorrow, December 3rd is the Angel-Versary of your passing and it is so hard to believe that I must carry on in my life without you...........
My Son, my tower of strength, my love, my hero, my friend.
From the day you were born and I held you in my arms, I knew from that very moment that you were going to bring me great joy, fill my life with happiness and challenge me every step of the way. You did all of those things and so much more.
Climbing trees when you were just three years old. Playing hockey all your years through grade school and teenage years with such passion and determination. You set out to be a winner then, which you were and it continued all of your life. Finding great fun and enjoyment in your records, spinning and being a DJ. I remember the Wax Wars in Hyannis when Dad and I went with Jen and Bobby at the Mill Hill Club. I didn't think I would survive the night...the music was so loud...but I did. You should have were the best, but 2nd place was not so bad and besides you were and are always a winner in my eyes. You had such a loving and caring heart when it came to your family and friends...especially your sister. You always put us first, so caring...being a protector. I am so glad that Matt met your stamp of approval as you always had a say in who would date Jessica. Matt is a wonderful man and you and he became such good friends and brothers. You were always a brother to Jen & Steph too. Always looking out for them, loving them and having lots of fun growing up together. As you grew older and moved away, every time my heart went with you. Your last move here to Florida was the toughest of all for me because I really couldn't bear to have you so far away. I remeber the first time I came to visit you here in Florida. We had such a blast, we connected and created a bond and a love that would last forever. I laughed so much that week I spent with you my guts hurt. Little did we know that ultimately Florida would be our home. Nothing could ever have made Dad and I prouder than when you started Screen Solutions and who would have known that we would all arrive here in '03 to begin a new life together. I have had the pleasure of meeting many wonderful people through you...your friends that will be my friends forever. Our life here was happy until that dreadful day one year ago when God called you home to sit with him and the Angels. As you look down on me and each of us each day know that our lives have changed forever. Happiness left me when you went away and now my life will never be the same. I miss your laugh, your smile, and passion. I miss watching football with you. You will never be forgotten. You are always in my heart and will remain there for all of my life. Watch over your old Ma and don't ever stop loving me. I love you with all of my heart and soul. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever let them go. XOXOXO
May God Bless You & Keep You Close
Your Loving Mother
December 02, 2006
How time has passed so quickly not always so happily but before you know it that dreaded day has appeared..One year ago not one of us could have imagined that God would call you home. That you would no longer be hear but soaring through the heavens above. You were so amazing, you were the best cousin and friend that anyone could wish for. You were always looking out for your friends keeping them safe even if it meant you weren't, it didn't matter all that mattered was that your friends and family were safe and happy. You were a savoir, a real hero. We all miss you so much, the girls talk about you all the time. Alexis is going to be in the Nutcacker tonight and I know you will be watching from above. And pretty soon she may be seeing you in her dreams she has 2 wiggling teeth! I don't know how to explain or say what I am feeling right now. Its overwhelming. Its painful and it just isn't right. I know someday i'll hear you saying "WAZ up COUS" and until them I'll dream of you and remember the fun loving full of life friend that I had who may not be hear with me in sight but in my heart and soul you will always remain. I hope that the past year has brought you peace. I love you Jarrod and knowone will ever replace the hole in my heart that can only be filled by you. Watch after all of us, we need you.
Love always,
December 02, 2006
As your 1 year approaches tomorrow on December 3rd, I remember you and your 30 precious years...

The name Jarrod means Ruler from Hebrew origin…. it is a strong name, a powerful name, it represents my brother Jarrod.
Jarrod was a strong, powerful, energetic, funny, charming and passionate man – there was no denying it.
He had such a strong passion for the important things in life…..his family, how much he loved us, how much we loved him.
My brother was the world to me, from the day I was born till the day I lost him and beyond.
He meant everything to me. When we were little I would look up at him and think boy someday I’m going to have a best friend/boyfriend just like him…. I dated a few that where like him and realized there’s only one strong personality like that I can handle and I prefer him as my big brother…Later in life, I found my love, my love that Jarrod also approved of and loved as his brother in law and friend.
When we were little we did everything that brother’s and sisters did…. We laughed, we played, we fought, we yelled at each other, we protected each other, we helped each other, and WE were there for each other.
He was my first crush, my best friend, my protector, most of all he was my brother. He is still my brother, and now my guardian angel.
He is my memory, my memory so full with all the good and bad, the happy and sad, even the wild and crazy. He took us all for a rollercoaster ride, I always enjoyed. I always wanted to go for one more ride, one more wild and crazy adventure with my brother, my heart.
Jarrod was so many things to so many people. He was a son, brother, grandson, nephew, friend, godson, godfather. He was that spark, the twinkle in so many loved one’s eyes. When he entered the room, everyone there lit up, they got that twinkle in their eye. When he entered the room, that’s when the fun began. When he entered the room, he brought joy with him.
Jarrod – I miss you, oh how I miss you so much with every beat of my heart.
Each day that passes by is one day further away from the last time I saw you, the last time I hugged you, the last time I heard those sweet words “I love you, baby sis”. Each day that passes by is one day closer to the next time I will see you, the next time we get to hug again, the next time I can hear you say those sweet words “I love you, baby sis” and the next time I can tell you how much I love you and how I’ve missed you.
Each day that passes the hurt remains, the pain is near but with each day that passes, I’ve been told it will get lighter to bear, that joy will re-enter my life.
I long for the day, for that lovely day we meet again.
Till we meet again my dear sweet big brother, till we meet again…

I love and miss you,
Your baby sis
November 30, 2006
Jarrod thanks for keeping the Pats were they need to be :-) We all know that you are the Angel in the Endzone !! Dec.3rd how will any of us evah forget the worst day in all of our lives. Brian, Kristen(the bucs cheerleader),Chris and everyone will be watching all the games on this day a to honor you and b because it is football :-) Just know in our hearts that we miss you each and every day and it does not get easier.The day will come when we meet again . Until then peace out my good friend with love from all of us at Beefs Mama aka Eileen
November 30, 2006
Karen & Mark & family It is hard to believe that ayear has passed us by since the day we all lost your beloved son Jarrod. Not a day goes by without thinking of our good friend Jarrod and his parents. Know in our hearts that not a day will evah go by without an acknowledgement or a prayer to Jarrod and his family. We will always remember you Peace out my buddy Forevah & a day mama from beefs
November 23, 2006
Hi Jarrod, it's me Ma!

Happy Thanksgiving Sweetheart. It is 7:30 on Thanksgiving night and our day is over. I am tired and sad. We had dinner at 4 o'clock. Me, Dad, Jeff, John, Shelby & Jessica. We had as nice of a time as it could be without you. I kept up my strength and did not get upset or anything until after everyone left. I have cried since then and I cried myself to sleep last night. Never did I ever think that I would have to celebrate a holiday without you here with me. It is so strange and so sad. Dinner was good, Dad and Jeff both helped me. We had a toast and dedicated the day to you. Today was a warm and pleasant day about 75 degrees. The past two days have been darn right cold. You always said it would not take long for me to get cold in the winter months,well guess what you were right. The other day I was down right freezing, and now the down comforter is on the bed. Jeff weighed the boys today. Radar is 93 lbs and Ninja is 104 lbs. All three of them, Muddy too had a turkey dinner and they gobbled it up. Your sister and Matt are soaking up the sun and I hope enjoying themselves. I miss not having her to talk to today. Jen & Bobby and the girls celebrated the holiday with Bobby's Aunt Patti and his family. We talked this morning. Jen said she was glad that I decided to cook and try to get thru this day. I also spoke with Auntie Donna, she loves and misses you very much. Her and Uncle Ricky went out with Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Andy. I was told that Steph, Joe and the girls went to spend the day with Joe's parents. I was hoping I would get a call from her but I did not, oh well, what can I do. I really dread the next 10 days because I think these coming might be the hardest of all just knowing that a year has gone by since you left us. Every single day has had a sad moment in it, some more bearable than others but sad. I miss you so much Darling. I miss my old self and I will never be the same again. I wish with all my heart you would come to me in my dreams some night soon and just smile so that I can see your beautiful face again. I know you are at peace and that you are safe in the comfort of God and the Angels. Always keep a watch on your old Ma. I love you with all of my being and I know deep in my soul we will be together again one day. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and please don't ever let them go. May God Bless You & Keep you.

Your Loving & Lonely Mother
November 20, 2006
Hi Jarrod. it's me Ma!

Once again, it is the wee hours of the morning 4:25 a.m. I have been awake for about an hour and a half just laying in bed not able to sleep so I thought if I wrote you a love note I would feel better. I miss you so much Sweetheart. I really have a hard time believing it will ever get any easier. I never stop thinking about you and wishing you were stll here with me, with all of us. I guess I am never going to understand. Today is your sister's birthday. Maybe that is why I could not sleep. Special occassions and holidays are still horrible without you and I guess knowing Jess is having a birthday without you is just weighing heavy on my heart and my mind. It was one year ago now that you were with your sister for the last time when you went back home to New England for a visit and Thanksgiving. I remember how sad I was not having you here for that holiday. Little did any of us know it would be your last. I am so glad you spent it with Jess & Matt even though I missed you like crazy. How will I ever get through another Thanksgiving? I have made no plans...can't decide if I can do it or not. Can you send me a sign and tell me what to do?? I only have a couple of days to decide. Jen's birthday is just a few days away too, and just like Jess this will be hard on her as well. She told me not long ago that she cannot even imagine not having you here to say Happy Birthday to her. She may not have had a brother, but she had you and she misses you so much. I will make sure her birthday is as happy as it can be from both of us. So, what about our Patriots.. they are doing real well. 7-3 record is real good. They sure did clobber the Packers yesterday 35-0. I bet you and all the Pats fans up in Heaven were watching. You must be the President of the fan club in Heaven, right. I went to Beef's yesterday with Dad to watch the game. It was fun. Everyone there loved my (our) Bruschi jersey, and commented on the fact that it was a throwback. I told everyone that it was yours (now mine) forever. All the fans there miss you. The Colts finally got beat...yeah!!!, by the Cowboys. I'm glad someone finally did it. I had my hours changed at work effective today, now I am working 8-5. I liked it better the way it was but there is nothing I can do. Days will feel alot longer now. Three weeks ago I had a car accident. Got hit from behind on Bell Shoals. My car is in the body shop getting repaired right now. Didn't think I got hurt but the next day my body was crying so I have been going to Dr. Todd and he is straightening me out. When I go there we talk about you often...usually we laugh because you were always so funny. Tanya will never forget you, she is such a good person. I have an elctro-stim unit for home use. Everytime I put it on I think, man Jarrod would have been crazy for this. You would have gone thru a battery per week. I think something might have happened to my right arm too, because ever since the accident it has really been bothering me. I am going to get it checked by an ortho doctor next week. Dad is having shoulder trouble again. Might mean another surgey, I hope not but we will know pretty soon. Hasn't been able to go mountain biking, but Jeff and Eric are still going, and Dad is doing some road riding. Radar and Ninja are great. They are both so big you would be amazed. Did I tell you that Ninja is 104lbs now and Radar is not far behind...he is 93 lbs. Radar is even bigger than Sam was. They have so much fun together playing, it is really fun to watch them. Ninja is getting more and more active now that he has hit maturity. He loves toys that squeak better than anything and Radar is a frisbee nutcase. They are both very spoiled and very loved. I will be calling Devi this week. I haven't talked to her since I sent the package but I want to wish her a Happy Turkey Day and touch base. I think after the beginning of the year I am going to go to visit her for a weekend. Girl time and reminisce time. I am sure it will be wonderful and it would be good for me. I love Devi and always will. She will always be a part of my life and I never want to loose touch. Madelynne's bithday was last week. She turned 6. I went to the house for a brief visit. Both Maddie & Hailey are adorable and your cousin Stephanie looks good. I really miss all of them terribly but only time will tell if anything will ever get any better. As I am getting older, my family becomes more and more important everyday. I just wish everyone could be around me all the time...that's the Cancer sign and the homebody in me that wants to keep my family near and close. That is why it is so difficult to know in my heart that I will never be with you again in this life. I believe with all my heart and soul that we will be together again one day. I love you with all of my being and everyday on earth is an eternity without you. Keep an eye on me and all of us. We all know you are our Guardian Angel watching down on us from Heaven above. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go. Missing you eternally.
Your Loving & Lonely Mother.
November 04, 2006
Hi Jarrod, it's Ma !!

Well, it is 4:04 a.m. again and I am writing you another love note. Hard to believe that yesterday was 11 months since you left me and all of us. It was a bit of a difficult day, lots of thoughts swirling around in my head. Good thoughts about you. I miss you so much, everyday, so much it still hurts alot. I told Dad tonight that you are so much like him it isn't even funny and I believe that is a big part of the reason why I miss you so. I have been crazy about Dad and have loved him deeply all my life. You are a carbon copy of him, and I am crazy about you and will love you deeply for the rest of my life. I know deep in my soul that we will be re-united again one day, and maybe then our souls will be one. I truly believe that you are watching not just me but all of us and know what is going on and you love some of what you see and I am sure you don't love some either. We are all traveling a tough road since you left us. It has been so difficult trying to re-adjust without you. I tried to do Halloween the other night and give out candy but I just couldn't. Memories made it much to difficult, especially since Matt & Jess were here with us last year and we all had such a good time. So I had six bags of chocolate sitting here. I brought it all to work and will fill my candy jar on my desk and I'll let the elderly residents eat it all up. Right now the world finals of bull-fighting is on tv. You know how much I love that. I have been thinking that I would like to go this coming year and see them again in Tampa. It was so much fun when me, Dad, you and Uncle Bill went. I guess I will have to think about that a little bit more. Today, is Bobby's bithday. If you read this Bobby....Happy Birthday, I Love You !!! Your best friend and he misses you so much. He will be receiving your gift from Heaven today and I am pretty sure that he is going to like it. I am also pretty sure that this birthday will be a bit melancholy for him without you being here, but we all know you are with us. Next mission of mine, are three birthdays coming up. Maddie, she will be 6 (unfortunately I can only send her a gift), Jessica and Jennifer. So, what about our Patriots! 5-2 so far this season and this last game was a real good one when they beat the Bills 31-7. Sunday night football this week against the Colts who are undefeated, but they are about to suffer their first loss, RIGHT!!! Make sure you have your game face on and be their Angel in the End Zone. We have a brand new Patriots flag to hang but we have not done that yet, someday soon I hope. Oh Jarrod, these have been the toughest days of my life. I sure do wish I could turn back time. I miss you so much Darling and wish I could wrap my arms around you and hug you tight and just hear you say, "I love you Ma" again. I have a hard time believing that it will ever get any easier one day. I don't know how it can with you gone from my life. I love you so much. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever let them go. At least I know now that you are safe and happy with God and the Angels.
Your Loving Mother
October 26, 2006
Hi Jarrod,
I love you Jarrod. I do believe in Angels. Have a good day Angel Jarrod. Do you give us pennies or money I mean when you are the tooth fairy? flower - love. ( i have no idea what this means) Its from sadie & alexis. Happy Birthday i am sorry I missed it a couple of years ago. This is all the things I want to do, this is enough! do you like how I dictate the words of a 5 year old?
Good bye sweet Jarrod.
Love Ally & Sadie
October 21, 2006
Hi Darling, it's Ma!

Another early morning love note, now it is 5:40 a.m. I have been awake for a time and finally decided to just get out of bed. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't sit here and write you love notes and spill my guts out. Past few days it has been hot again....high 80's. This morning we have someone coming to give us an estimate to solar heat the pool. I have been wanting to do that right along, so we will see if it all pans out. Right now it is getting a little to chilly to swim. Dad & Jeff started putting new screen in. The roof is done. The section over the low end where the lounge chairs go now has super solar screen. We all talked about that, remember?? It really makes a huge difference and I know next summer it will be so much better. Jason's parents are having their end of summer bash next weekend and of course we are all invited. It is a pirate theme this year. We are planning on going but I am a little apprehensive about it because of being there with you last year. It will be really hard and I just do not know if I am up for it. No Howl-O Scream either. Last year was a blast but I may never go again. Not sure I can. So, are you ready for some FOOTBALL?? I'm not sure who the Pats are playing but we will all be watching and I will have our Bruschi shirt on. Be their Angel in the End Zone. Speaking of angels, Devi knows that you are hers too. She has finally received the package I have been sending for months and we talked the other night for awhile. She was very happy and loves it so much and will treasure it always. I don't have to tell you what it contained because I know deep in my heart that you know. After we talked, I could not go to sleep and as I laid in bed with the overhead fan light off but with the fan going, I was thinking so much about you and Devi. Suddenly the light came on. I didn't turn it off. It was as if you were right in the room with me and the message was coming through the light. I had this feeling come over me that you knew what it did for me and Devi and you wanted somehow to tell me it was all good, and I know deep in my heart and soul that it was. If that was you, Thank you. Send me some more signs. Aunt Karen says Mikey sends her signs all the time. I love you and miss you so much my Darling. Sometimes I think that my life is never going to return to normal, but then again life will never be normal without you. You were and always will be the LIGHT OF MY LIFE. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go.
Be Safe with God & the Angels
I love you forever & a day.
Your Loving Mother
October 17, 2006
Hi Jarrod, it's me Ma!!

Writing you another early morning love note. 4:30 a.m. again and I woke Dad up because I was crying in my sleep and he was not happy. I know I was thinking about you because I was restless and I had all kinds of thoughts running around in my head. I don't know if missing you is ever going to get any easier. I am moving forward but it's the missing you part that is really killing me. I'm thinking it just might be time for me to go back to therapy for a while. Nobody here in Florida can help me (family), so maybe if I talk to someone again I will be able to sleep at night. Driving home from work the other day, I saw a van coming at me with Buc's football flags on either side, the way you used to have your Patriots flags flying proudly and of course the memories started to flood in and so the flood gates opened again. I need to talk to Jen & Bobby because tonight when my thoughts were running wild, it finally came to me what the Memorial Boards should say that we are going to place in Armstrong Kelley Park in Osterville. I want to get going on is very important. I was also thinking about how to build your garden. I want to speak to someone I work with who specializes in plants and trees so I can get just the right pieces . Ninja is sitting here with me right now. I know what he wants but he has to wait a few minutes. You may be gone from my life but your spirit is all around me, just like right now. When I look into his beautiful eyes sometimes I see you. Thank you for giving us such a wonderful companion and friend. I have finally got a package together for Devi which I am mailing out to her today. I believe in my heart that she will understand each item in the package and know the reason behind why I sent everyone. I feel an extremely close bond to Devi, probably because I know that you came so close to taking that big step with her. Why it didn't happen I will never know, but I only wish I could turn back time so I could see the result and I am relatively sure our lives would be so much happier. I believe in my heart she will love and enjoy everything I put together and I hope that she will cherish it always. I know just like the rest of us she has to move on with her life but I so hope that we can always be friends. I love her. No Pats this past weekend....a bye week, but get your game face on 'cause Sundays coming and you are their Angel in the EndZone and all the Pats fans here are counting on your help. I have not gone with Dad one time to Beefs but maybe one of these days I will. Times are strained and there is not much else to say about that. Our whole family is still grieving. Each of us so differently. I will never get over your early departure from life. I miss you so much my Darling and only wish you could wrap your loving arms around me and give me one of your big special hugs. Forever in my heart, forever on my mind. I love you with all of my being. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go.
May the Good Lord Bless & Keep You.
Your Loving & Lonely Mother
October 11, 2006
Hi Honey, it's me Ma !

Here I go again, another sleepless night. It is 4:30 a.m. and I have been awake for more than an hour with a headache laying in bed tossing and turning, thinking about you and life so felt it would be best to just sit down and write you another love note. I love you and miss you so much sweetheart. I don't need to tell you how well the Patriots are doing because I know you know but their 4-1 record is great so far. This past Sundays 20-10 win over the Dolphins was a good one. You must be in charge of their fan club up in Heaven and Sundays must be rockin and rollin. Just make sure you stay on your toes because we are all counting on you to watch over your favorite team so they have another winning season. Jess & Matt love their Patriot flag, and it will fly in the brisk New England breezes everytime the Patriots play!! Talking about your beautiful sister, she & Matt are planning a trip to Mexico soon for her birthday and Thanksgiving. With the holidays coming it is going to be very difficult on all of us and seeing Thanksgiving was the last time that you and Jess saw each other she just does not want to stay at home so her and Matt are doing the Great Escape Plan and I think it is a wonderful idea. Everybody needs a little R&R, so what better place than a nice relaxing week in Mexico. Last year I was so unhappy that you were not here with me for Thanksgiving but now I am more than grateful that you did spend it with your sister, except your chair at my table is forever empty now and that hurts. I wish I could run away sometimes too. I hope that maybe in late winter Dad and I can take a vacation. We have not had one since before we moved to Florida. In two weeks our big boy Ninja will turn 2. What a lug! We are so crazy about him and Radar too. He is so funny. Last night I gave him and Radar a few almonds to eat. He loved them. He was a riot the way he was chewing them up. He is getting bigger by the minute. His fascination with toys that squeak is so funny, therefore he will be getting a new toy that squeaks for his birthday. When it was Radar's day, they each got a new bird. We cal them Ba Ba Bird and Boo Boo Bird. Each bird is about 18 inches long with long skinny necks and heads with beaks, long legs, and bodies with squeakers. Radar shakes them so violently he has already shaken both heads off which I have sewn back on and Ninja squeaks them and chews them so hard he has chewed holes and pulled their wings off which I have sewn back on. So, the birds continue to be healthy and they are still having fun with them. Will have to find a new fun toy to buy for Ninja's bithday. Dad and I have an anniversary coming at the end of the month,35 years. Just won't be the same without you here. A couple of weeks ago we went out to dinner at the old 409 restaurant on SR60. It is an italian place now. The food was good. Anyway, as we were sitting there, I started to cry because I said to Dad, "this is where we met Devi for the very first time". It was. Dad did not remember but I did . When you and Devi started dating and you introduced her to Dad and I, the four of us met for dinner at the 409. I remember that first meeting and she was such a doll. So, friendly, not the least bit shy. We had so much fun. So while Dad and I were sitting there, I got very emotional and started to cry. It just really hurt my heart because I miss you so much. I talk to Devi still and I love her. She is a very beautiful young woman and she loves you and you will always remain in her heart. Ally and Sadie got their birthday gifts the other day. They love them. They know that they came from us, me & you...straight from Heaven via Florida. Ally really knows that you are her Angel in Heaven and she loves her Uncle Jarrod and Sadie knows too. I will asks Jennifer to put a picture on your guestbook soon. Now that the weather is cooling off, I am going to ask Uncle Bill to help me make the garden I have talked about so many times. I want to get it done before a year comes up, and just to let you know before December 3rd ever gets here I will have a Patriots tatoo. I am doing it for you my Darling son. All those times you asked me and I said no....I am so I wish I had. Well, I am doing it for you and I know that you will be able to see it from Heaven above. Jarrod, I love you so much it hurts. I will never be the same again. I am learning to cope and live without you but I will never get over losing you. People have asked me what is the hardest thing about losing you and everything is, but one thing that stands out above almost everything is that you were so much FUN. You brought FUN into my life from the day you were born and now you are gone. I love you with all of my heart and my soul and my being...I walk in the sunshine and funshine of your love. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever let them go.
May the Good Lord Bless & Keep You
Your Loving & Lonely Mother
September 30, 2006
Jarrod, it's Ma !!

Hi Darling. I am once again writing a love note in the wee hours of the morning. It is 4:45 a.m. and I have been awake for more than an hour now so I decided to get out of bed and come talk to you. I have been struggling so much with bad headaches again lately. I just don't know what it is. I wish they would stop...they wake me up everynight in the middle of the night. When I get thinking about you and life then I cannot go back to sleep. Summer's over...temps are starting to go down to the 80's now so it is getting a bit more comfortable. Football is in full swing. Pats lots their first game of the new season the other night on Sunday night football when they played the Broncos. They just could not get anything going. Tom Brady's receivers have been traded away so that doesn't help. Send them some positive energy from Heaven so they can get back on track for tomorrows game. The Bucs have been a disaster...lost all three games so far and Chris Simms the QB is probably out for the year...had to have his spleen out after last Sundays game against the Panthers. I don;t know if the Tampa fans will have too much to cheer about. No football pool this year.....but I am wearing your Bruschi jersey and I will each game. It just makes me feel that you are that much closer to my heart. Football is never going to be the same again. On a lighter note, Radar and Ninja had their haircut the other day. They are both so handsome. When they came home they had race cars scarfs was so cute!! Drum roll..........Jeff weighed them the other day and Ninja topped the scale at 100.5 lbs Radar weighed 89 lbs. You would be so amazed at Ninja and Radar too, they are awesome. We are trying to teach Ninja to be a better tugger but he still has that aloof personality and doesn't try very hard. certainly not like Radar. I bought him a bone pillow the other day like you bought him when he was a puppy. It has a squeaker in it. He really likes it. He seems to like all toys with squeakers in them and does his absolute best to try everything to get them out. Dad takes them walking almost every night. It is usually pretty late so I do not go. My new job is okay, somewhat stressful but okay. I never really thought I would ever be working for a landscape company but stranger things have happened and I am finally making a salary that I am satisfied with. Over and during this past week, it has been Sadie and Ally's birthday's. Sadie turned three and Ally will be five. I wish you were still here to see them and be with them to enjoy their growing up. I will make sure they get a birthday present from their Uncle Jarrod, especially Ally as you are her Godfather too. Jen and Bobby will never let them forget you. They had a princess party and all the little girls dressed in princess outfits. I only wish I could have been there. I haven't seen any pictures yet but I'm sure I will. I plan to ask Jennifer to put one on your Guestbook just for you. I miss you Darling. Every hour of every day. There is a picture of you and Jeff standing on each side of Jess on her wedding day hanging on our bedroom wall. I look at and talk to that picture all the time. I hope you listen. Pretty soon the holidays will be coming, and I am not sure how I am going to get thru them except to say I am going to try my best to make them happy for the rest of our family. I wish you never left me. I love you so much. When you left, I not only lost my son, I lost my friend and I am so lonely. I love you with all of my heart and soul and can sonetimes hardly wait until we are together again. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever let them go.
May the Good Lord Bless & Keep You
Your Loving & Lonely Mother
September 23, 2006
Karen, I just learned about Jarrod. I'm so sorry. My heart weeps for you and your family. You're in my prayers. Your friend, Kathy
September 18, 2006
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!!

Can't sleep. It is actually almost 4 a.m. on Mondy morning the 18th of September. I have you on my mind as always. Tninking about life and death. I was laying in bed and I was thinking about the night I drove to your house on School Street in Hyannis because Dad & I had a spat. Your took such good care of me. I had a terrible headache (I remember that) you made me an ice pack and we slept in your bed together that night but you tried to do everything you could to help me feel better. You gave me a back rub until I just about fell asleep and then you hugged your old Ma tight. Whatever was wrong, you helped to make it better. I fell asleep beside you and in the morning when all seemd okay I went back home and it was. Then I remembered when I came to Florida by myself to visit you and we first stayed at your house in Port Richey with Steve and April and Gaven. I slept with you that night too. We laid on your bed for a long time laughing with each other. I can still see all your Adidas hats hanging on the wall over your bed. You hugged me like before (you were the best hugger) and I obviously fell asleep before you because at some time during the night you moved out to the couch because you said I snored like a truck driver. Many nights I dream bad things about your accident and they flood into my head and I wake up crying, so it was good tonight to think about a couple of fond memories that made me smile. Actually, that trip to Florida wa so much fun and I am glad I came alone. When we went to Holiday House and to Disney we had a blast. I remember the 12 mile an hour speed boat ride on the lagoon. I thought you were going to tip us over. You didn' us a little wet and made me laugh hysterically. Then I was thniking about Paradise Island and dancing in the club. I remember the pretty girl you ended up dancing with,,,but she was jail bait. So, you danced with me instead and that was a blast. Our gospel revival breakfast at the House of Blues was awesome too. I am so glad that we did that. Well, today is Grandpa and Johnny's birthday. God Bless your Grandfather, he turns 80 today and is still going strong. Johnny is 42. Alexis and Sadie have birthdays coming up. I will make sure they receive something special from their Uncle Jarrod. Is the football fan base big up in Heaven. Obviously, you are doing your job!! Pats have won their first two games: Pats over Bills 19-17, Pats over Jets 24-17. You are their Angel in the End Zone. Let's hope they can get to another Superbowl. Bucs are in distress already. They have lost the first two games. I miss you Darling. I really don't know how to recover. Even having lost both my parents and two of my sisters, it just doesn't even come close to losing you. I can't seem to help myself and I obviously can't seem to help the rest of our family either. I just don't know what to do. I wish you could send me a sign. People say I will be able to find peace with it all one day, and maybe I will. But when?? And, if I do will we all have come out of this terrible tragedy unscathed? I do not think so. I wish you would come to me, in a dream. Ma loves you with all of her heart and everyday of my life I wish you were her with me, as I believe we all do. You have gone to a better place and obviously God called you for a reason. I may never understand until I get there too. Watch over your family and protect us from harm. Somehow, if you can try to send peace and harmony to all of us, especially me. I love you with all of my being and will love you for all of eternity. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever let them go.
May the Good Lord Bless You and Keep You.
Your Loving Mother
September 11, 2006
Hey Jarrod,
WAS UP? I have not forgotten you not even for a minute. I have been busy and trying to forget that you really are not here. Still seems fake like you have been on an extended vacation and someday that phone will ring and it will you saying WAS UP COUS! Of course of that did happen i would be a little freaked out given the circumstances! I miss you so much. I am in the middle of planning a Princess birthday for the girls and as always I am going over board. I can't help I love to spoil them! Seeing thier faces light up is worht every cent and its priceless when they smile. Cinderella and Snow White are coming and all the little girls are wearing their princess outfits it will be so cute! Hopefully you will keep the rain away for us! Jessica's kitchen is a beauty, their house is coming along it looks so nice. Lots of work but who's first or second isn't we are still spending money and doing more projects here never ends! Well I guess you were helping the Pats the other day they just barely won. Well I must go for now you are always in my heart and on my mind. Every now and then I feel like someone is in the room with me maybe i'm crazy or maybe its you I don't know. One thing is for sure you might not be here on Earth with us but your "presence" will always remain close by. I know your not far away. We just can't see you or talk to you but your still close. I feel it, I believe it. Our angel in the sky may your love always shine down on us. Loving you always. Jen
September 03, 2006
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!

I miss you so much!! Today is Sunday, September 3rd. It is nine months since you left me and the pain is still so real. Dad and Jeff are mountain biking and I am here with the boys...Radar and Ninja. I have had another crying life is so empty without you. I just don't understand why you were taken away from me. This has been a rather tough week...haven't felt so good...lots of headaches. so I think my emotions are running extra high. Never got the Hurricane fizzled out. As you know just rain showers everyday. Today is a beautiful morning the sun is shining brightly. I tell myself it is you shining down on all of us. I just wish you would come to me. I don't see you in my dreams or anything. I fall asleep each night thinking about you wanting you to come to me but you don't. Are you having too much of a good time up in Heaven?? Please don't forget about your old Ma. I love you so much...I just wish you were still here with me. There is not too much to tell right now. I did start my new is going good....working with the elderly again...that is challenging. I like my new company, and I know they are going to treat me good. Football season is upon us but it won't be the same without you....don't forget that you are still the Pats Angel in the End Zone. We will all be counting on you to watch over them. No sleeping on the job. I don't think we will have a football pool anymore and we don't have NFL Sunday Ticket because we dropped Direct TV and got Verizon Fios and they do not offer it. We may not be able to watch all of the Pats games so we will have to count on Bobby and Matt & Jess to keep us informed on what happened. I will be wearing your Bruschi shirt though on Sundays and you will be extra close to my heart. I just don't think I will ever really enjoy football again like I did. Everything is so different now. Jarrod, I love you with every beat of my heart and I miss you so much. Everyday I live without you is a difficult day for me. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go..
Your Loving & Lonely Mother
August 27, 2006
Hi Sweetheart, it's me Ma!

It is Sunday morning and as usual I am lonely so I am writing you a love note. Dad has gone mountain-biking with his friend Eric and I suspect that Jeff will be coming over soon. Sunday mornings were always a good time for me, because you would always come tearing thru the door with your Dunkin Donuts coffee in hand. By the way, they are finally starting to build the DD on 301. If you were waiting all this time, it would be driving you nuts for sure. Dad and I make really good coffee, I guess I will never understand your devotion to DD, except you always told me it was all about the cup. You were so funny. I miss you so much. Well, we have just heard that Tampa is being threatened by the first Hurrucane of this season, "Ernesto". It is down around Haiti, however they are forecasting a track as of today that looks like it could be heading straight for Tampa...but as we both know anything could happen. We will just have to wait and see. Dad and I were in the pool yesterday with the dogs. Now Radar is jumping off the side just like Ninja, but Ninja definately wins that feat paws down. He actually launches himself. They are both so funny in the water. Ninja was standing up in the middle of the pool wanting the ball from Dad with no paws holding on. They are both so comfortable in the water. This summer has been very different. I thought we would be using the pool much more often than we have but I think it is because of the circumstances. Life has changed so much. I might be the same person to look at, but I am different now. It is hard to explain but I guess when you loose one of your children and suddenly everything in your life that has always been the norm isn't anymore things just don't fall into place like they used to. I just seem to keep to myself and find talking to anyone, be it family or friend not something I really do anymore. The pain in my heart is so heavy I think it is going to be there for the rest of my life. I just want all of our family to know that I love you all, it is just that I have changed and nothing is ever going to be the same again. My beautiful, wonderful, full of life son was taken from me, (us) and I hate being without him. Jarrod, I love you and I wish everyday of my life you were here with me. Please come to me in my dreams. Where are you??? I just wish I could hug you one more time and you would wrap your loving arms around me and hug me back. Life without you is awful. One day we will be together again. Until then you hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever, ever, ever let them go.
May God Bless You and Keep You.
Your Loving and Lonely Mother
August 25, 2006
Hey Cous!
I know I haven't been writing to you much, I don't have much time to sit lately..Maddie started Kindergarten and she is doing great...smarter than the kids in her class.. atleast thats what her teacher told us at open house, lastnight. She has gotten in trouble once or twice because she is very talkative.guess it runs in the family. Hailey started talking up a storm and doesn't stop, we have to watch what we say because she is constantly repeating word for word...Oh, and what a handfull, She gets into EVERYTHING..I am so sad that you can't be here to know her, but I know you see us all from above.
Well i start a night job in a few days..need to pay off my debts...I'm sure you know of a few.
Watch over us all...and we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Your Loving Cousin
August 22, 2006
Hi Darling, it's me Ma !

It has been a little while since I have actually sat here and written a love note to you but I have written one in my mind many times over since my last entry in your guest book. Right now it is 1:15 in the morning and I cannot sleep. I was actually crying in bed because I had you on my mind as I usually do and I woke up Dad. I think I was right on the verge of going to sleep because I don't remember crying but when Dad shook me I was sobbing pretty hard, and I know as soon as I snapped out of it, you popped right to the front of my consciousness. I miss you so much. That is never going to lessen. Almost nine months have past and there is not a day that goes by that it doesn't seem like yesterday that you were here. You left big shoes that no one will ever fill. We have all had some serious adjusting to do and it has been extremely hard on all of us. I will never ever get over the fact that you are gone from my life forever, but I slowly am finding a way to try and live my life without you. It isn't easy and I don't like it. You once told me that you would be here for me forever....look what happened! Now, I am without you and my heart is broken and I am very very sad. I believe that you can see me from up in Heaven, so I don't have to say antmore on that note. I do have so much to tell you though. After I came back from seeing Jess, I helped Dad move his office into the bigger room. It's much better now. I have also sorted through most of the remainder of your things and although it is tough for me to seperate myself from it, I know now that it is time. I have spoken with Devi recently and we had a wonderful conversation. Although I have been slow in sending her a package I still intend to do so. She is such a beautiful person and I can still feel and sense the love that she has for you every time I talk to her. We have received a message from Jason and he is returning to Florida soon. I will be looking forward to seeing him. Of all your friends down here, he is the one who has truly made an effort with Dad and I to stay in touch and we really appreciate that so much. Sean is coming for a visit soon. That is what Uncle John says. If he drives I want to talk to him about your records. Our family is all okay, we need you to be our guardian angel at all times...don't forget!! Watch over your brother when he is on the roofs and on his motorcycle. Always watch over and protect your sister. And as far as Dad and I are concerned, just because we are getting older we need all the extra attention we can get. Don't forget Ninja and Radar. Thay are so awesome. If you can see all of us, you are bragging about Ninja up in Heaven. He weighs 95lbs now and is a beauty. Radar is 85lbs and his birthday is this Thursday the 24th. He will be 3. They are the best of buddies and the epitomy of spoiled pampered pets. Between me, Dad and Jeff they have a really good life. Ninja is a pool hound, as is Radar. They both love playing ball and frisbee and tuggy, although Radar beats Ninja at tuggy paws down, and they have automatic clocks that go off every night when it comes time to take a walk. They are such fun. Thank you for leaving us such a beautiful dog, and for giving Radar such a great brother. We fixed the side of the yard that was all torn up. It is all sodded now and looks a whole lot better. Jeff's friend Sean worked with Dad and was a big help. A couple months from now we will work on the othe side Dad says. Now that we are in the middle of summer we are getting the summer rain, so each day at some point it seem like we get a little monsoon. I have a new job now but I am back working in the same location. I have gone to work for a landscaping company...whatdayaknow!! Never thought I would see that day, but I have been hired as their Administrative Assistant and it was an offer I couldn't refuse. Wish me well and say your prayers that everything works out good. Things are a little quiet right now for Dad and the boys but I think it is just that time of year with school starting and all. I am sure it will start to pick up again real quick. I don't talk to Steph much. I miss them all but that is all I will say about that. Haven't heard from Chris in ages. Jen & Bobby are great. I love them so much, They are camping for a week with the girls. I hope they can make a trip down to spend some time with us soon. Not really talking with anyone else in the family. Jess & Matt are wonderful. Busy with their new home and their jobs. They went to the Vineyard this past weekend to meet Sarah & Chuck's new daughter Molly. Reilly is already 2 1/2. I can't wait to talk to Jess to find out all about her. Jess & Meghan & Tina came to Ocala a few weeks ago to Tina & Ron's house and I went there and spent a girl's weekend. It was fun. The house is in a retirement community. Your sister had a blast driving a golf cart. Gave me another chance to spend time with her and that was worth a million dollars and I am very glad I went. I was reluctant at first, don't know why but I was. I'm just glad I went. I had a really great time. Well Darling, it is 2:00 a.m. and the alarm goes off in less than four hours so I need to try and get some shut eye. I bet there are no alarm clocks up in Heaven.....lucky you!! I miss you with all of my being. Every day on earth is an eternity without you. I know one day we will be together again. Until that day, watch over your family, and know that we all love you with all of our hearts. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them them go.
May God Bless You and Keep You
Your Devoted & Loving Mother
August 15, 2006
Hey There Big Brother,
Just want to say I miss you, I miss you so much everyday down to the core of my being. I'm figuring out life without you, it's not easy, but I have no other choice. I look at your picture and the flowers that mom gave me, it hurts, that's all I have left of you. I miss your warm heart, big smile, larger than life attitude and most of all you, you being there for me. I miss being there for you too, the whole thing just stinks.
You will forever be my big brother and I can't wait til we meet again.
By the way, stop taking naps up in heaven, I need you to look out for me! Keep up the good protection you always gave, just from afar now.
Missing you...

Love Always and Forever,
Your Baby Sis....
July 21, 2006
Hi Sweetheart, it's me Ma !!

I am once again alone in the house and I have been thinking about you all morning, crying and so forth and just missing you really, so I thought I would write another love note. I was over at Uncle Bill's house yesterday and I gotta tell you, he misses you like crazy. Wishes everyday could be the day before December 3rd. He told me that almost everything I say and do reminds him of you. He also told me that I have three wonderful kids which I already know. He is such a great guy, I love him and Auntie Ruby alot. He told me the Iguana died on Tuesday. It lived for eleven years, but he said Auntie Ruby is really grieving. He put him to rest in a casket (which he made himself, of course) out in the backyard. He also said that Valda was pretty upset but that she is getting over it. Imagine, an iguana living for eleven years. Your friend Rob, from Able Painting came the other morning and gave me an estimate to paint the foyer/family room. I am so sick of the whole house being white, ever since you died now I feel like it is institutional white (kinda like I am going crazy) and I just wanted to breathe some color into the house. I don't think Dad and I can reach a satisfactory conclusion. I am still hoping he will move his office into the bigger of the three rooms upstairs. Of course, most of your stuff is in that room, but if he will just make a commitment to move over across the hall I will do whatever is necessary. I am having fun with the dogs. They dirty my house alot, but that's what I get for having two big guys. Ninja is 95 lbs now. You would be so crazy about him, and Radar his big brother is 85 lbs. When they play and wrestle with each other at night I call them Jeff and Jarrod. It is so funny to watch them. He still goes after Radar's hind legs just like he did when he was a puppy. What an ambusher though. What exactly did you teach him?? He sure has a knack for the sneak attack. I guess that is whay he is a Ninja. I love the dogs so much and so does Dad. They seem to be the common thread that keeps things realatively calm around here. Ninja may be the only grandchild I ever have here with me in Florida. Some day, Matt and Jess will have children. I am excited for that day. I want to be a really great and specail grandmother and I believe I can be whether it is long distance or not. The distance will hurt and be tough but I will just have to deal with it and get ovet it. I believe I was a good and loving mother to you and that I am to your brother and sister. I will always be her if they need me, just like I was for you. I miss you so much my Darling. I would like to think that you still need me, even from up in Heaven. I know you are being loved and cared for by God and the Angels, but remember you will never, ever, ever be without your mother's love. When the sunshines, I know it is you shining down on me. Watch over me and give me strength to carry on. Every day on earth is an eternity without you, but I know I will be together with you again one day. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go.May God Bless You & Keep You.

Your Loving Mother
July 17, 2006
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!!!

Well, today is my birthday,,,just another day really. When you start to get into the fifty-somethings the birthdays really don't matter much anymore. It is a very quiet day. I am alone at the house, as I told you in a previous letter, I left my job and now that I am back from visiting your sister, I am at home until I find a new job. All the boys are at work and today is just another Monday. It is hot here in Florida, about 93 degrees. My mom always told me that on the day I was born it was 106 in Boston and I did not arrive until 6 p.m. I guess I made her suffer just a little too much in high heat. Having said that, I am not officially another year older until 6 p.m. Anyway, Jess called to say Happy Birthday and a gift arrived at the door not long after. She sent me a beautiful red heart bracelet. Reminded me of something you would do, as she said it symbolizes that she loves me with all her heart. I know she does, and I love her and all of you so much. My visit with her and Matt was fun but I was just not right. I cried everyday and should have made more of an effort to get it straight but my heart was so heavy. Nothing felt right. I loved being with your sister and Matt, their house is awesome and has so much charm and character. They will make it a very loving home. I felt like I should have come home from the minute I got there. I think it was because I am still so unsettled about you. Every minute I spent with Jessica all I could think about was all of us and then not all of us, because you are gone, and it was so hard. I didn't want to see anyone, and I'm sure I hurt feelings and for that I am sorry but my heart just couldn't take it. I went and spent a couple of days with Jen. She has been a constant for me since you passed and I can tell her and Jessica things that I cannot share with others. Ally & Sadie made me laugh and brought a little joy back into my life. Your cousin Jennifer and Bobby love you so much, I feel their pain and really know and understand how much they miss you. We had a little fun, went to Coonamesset Farm, and Four Seas Ice Cream. We also went to The Boardwalk in Sandwich, Armstrong-Kelley Park in Osterville, and The Ketteliers Baseball Field in Cotuit. Plans are underway to purchase memnorial boards in Sandwaich and Osterville and maybe even a brick in Cotuit. Most of the time the weather was gray and gloomy. A typical Cape Cod Day. When I was there I chose not to see anyone on the Cape either. I just did not have it in me. Perhaps I will regret it somewhere down the road but at the time it felt like the right thing to do. Now I am back home, and I need to get into all of your personal belongings that are packed up here at the house and make some decisions about them. It is hard to believe that almost eight months have gone by since you passed away. Many a day, it feels like it was only yesterday....still so fresh in my mind....still so painful in my heart. I know if you were here you would be bouncing through the door today with flowers and all, so in lieu of that I ask that you watch over me and the rest of your family from Heaven above and keep us safe from harm. My birthday, nor any other special day will ever be the same again, but they will continue to come, and so I must go on. I plan on talking to Devi soon. I miss her and certainly hope all is well with her. Wish you were here with made the sun shine on the gloomiest day. I love you with all of my being. Be safe with God and the Angels and don't be raising to much of a ruckus up there. I will love you 'til eternity. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go.

Your Loving Mother
July 13, 2006
hey cous!!
I know I haven't written to you for quite some time now, there's been alot going on.I just read some entries and noticed Claire had wrote... I remember that summer too.......The club you DJ mixed at... I helped you work the door....and all the after parties with Claire and the girls from Ireland. I don't have much tosay except that I miss you and think about you all the time..I actually have seen you in a dream or two..still with that beautiful smile. I hope they are treating you good up there and please keep a watch over us. Madelynne says hello, and wants you to know she will never forget the tea party.The other day, or shall I say- every day, It thunders, lightening and rains side ways. Well Maddie is gonna be like me petrified of thunder...I told her it was God bowling...well she wants you to ask God to stop bowling.. or atleast let you bowl with hime, but not too loud all the time, because it scares her when it is very loud. I don't think Hailey is scared I think she is just following Maddie.. Oh, how I wish you could be here in the joy of watching them grow up here in Florida..I know you are watching from above, if you were here it would be such a beautiful sight. Maddie lot her first tooth on June 21st and her second tooth the very next lucky a visit from the tooth fairy two days in a row!! she scored!! And Hailey is potty training a nd being a typical 2 year old..getting into every thing, and not staying in her bed at bed time...what a fun time this is. I am so saddened to have come to live in Florida and was only able to spend such a limited time with you..I also realized that when you passed, how short life is.. and you have to live day to day..everyone makes mistakes sometimes very big errors in judgement.. but I still hold my head up as high as I can and say that each day I wake is each day that my I have accomplished another fulfilling day.. and that we must continue and know that you are in my heart and my prayers..and that you are watching over us day in and day out. All my love,
Your nieces Madelyne and Hailey
Your loving cousin,
July 09, 2006
Hi Jarrod,
Claire here. I'm so happy I came across this, it's really beautiful. For some reason this morning I decided to google Hyannis, I wanted to bring back some memories of that Summer. What a Summer too, I re live it all the time. I think if I was to sit here and write about all the mad things we all got up too I'd be here for about a year.
I still can't believe you are no longer with us, mind you I know in my heart you've only moved on to another place and are minding your family like you always loved to do.I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye to you. I live in London now and have done for three years. Emer, Gemma, Kate, Fiona, Amy and all the others had a memorial service for you in Cobh but unfortuatly I could not be there. I wanted to send a card to your mum but I only have the old address and Joel told me your Mum and Dad had moved. Karen if you read this I want you to know you are in my thoughts all the time, I know how close you two were.
It's been pretty tough the past few months. I had never before lost someone close to me, especially someone like you, you were larger than life. A month later I lost my Grandmother, while home for her funeral my Father gave up his battle with Cancer and past on.
I think that's why I spend so much time thinking about that Summer in Cape Cod and my past, it's a bit too sad to live in the present. We were all so free without a care in the world that time, our only worries were which bars would serve us as most of us were under 21 :-) And as you well know from visiting Ireland we never had that problem and loved to party way too much. I'm so happy that you got to visit Ireland and see some of Europe - of course it had to be Amsterdam we went to!!!!! I don't think you and Jeremy enjoyed the Dam too much though, I do hope ye enjoyed Ireland though because I know we all loved having ye. You both looked after us so well in America and we needed to return the favour.
You'll always be in my thoughts. I'm blessed I met you.
Love always,
July 04, 2006
Hi Jarrod,
Well I have finally finished my project, for our family and friends. I am going to let your Mom & sister pick out their's first. They all came out so beautiful, I am proud of myself! I can't wait to see Jess's house again, the picures she has emailed to everyone probably don't do them justice. I am sure its much more pretty in person. She has good tast it must run in the family. I bought Bobby his first pair of Adidas sneakers last week, they reminded me of you. He hasn't worn them yet, he had minor surgery on his foot. so hopefully his foot will feel better so he can sport them around. I am hoping to see your mom this week althoug she is so sad. It hurts us all to see her like this. If only we could turn back time. We just have to hold on to what we have and make the most of it. Time goes bye too quickly and before you know it its gone. I hires an old friend of mine to mow my parents lawn, I told my Mom that her neighbors must think she's rich now! It was getting to be alot on my Dad and Mom just can't do it. I think it will help them out a little. I hope when bobby and I get older our girls will do nice things for us too...if they can afford to. I am hoping they will marry into money!! haha. You know me I love the green me the money! So we are thinking about putting in a pool. I think Bobby would like it after sweating his butt off everyday a nice dip in a pool might be just what he needs to chill him out. You know I wish I could say this all to you then I wouldn't have to type it..I just have so much to tell you. I could talk to you I'd keep you up all night. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and the tears still well up and sting my eyes, and the sadness in my heart is so deep that I wonder if it will ever go away. I can close my eyes and see you smiling blue eyes sometimes the size of a quarter slot machine but all the same you were a beautiful person inside and out and I miss you so much. I just wish I could hug you. I have to go now because I'm getting really sad and I will start rambling on and on. Thank you...9 years ago yesterday you introduced me to bobby, thank you for giving me a wonderful life. I wish I could have done the same for you. All my love. I have to go my throat is starrting to hurt from crying!
Love always, Jen
July 01, 2006
Hi Darling, It's me Ma!

Well, it has been a while since I have written to you but you are never out of my thoughts for more than a second at a time. Today I am writing to you from Massachusetts. I flew uo to visit your sister and Matt and to come see their new home. Today is Saturday, July 1st, just about 7 long months since you left all of us. It is very strange coming back here. I am happy to be here with your sister, I am just not sure if this was the best time to come although I really feel like I needed a break. I left my job...but that is a whole other story. I am here alone right now, Jess and Matt had to go to a wedding. They have a beautiful old antique home and as I sit here and look around I see so much potential and I can feel the happiness and love that will grow and blossom here. I miss you so much, I have been crying off and on ever since I landed. I think it is because you should be here too. I can see you out in the big beautiful back yard having so much fun with your sister and I know you would have been here one or two times already helping them. History shows that when a family loses a member who is such a vital part of the family that it changes, well I just know that our family has changed forever and nothing I can do is ever going to make it better again. Dad and I are hanging on by a thread. Nobody seems to be happy in Florida, and what was a big happy Bourget family is a memory of years gone by. All my life I just wanted a big happy family around me to grow old with and now I just know I am never going to see that come to fruition. Why, did God have to take you away from us? I love you so much it hurts, hurts alot everyday. Sometimes, I think I should just get back on the plane and go home. Florida doesn't really feel like home. Since you died, I just don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore. I really don't know where I want to be. Anyway, your sister is gorgeous. When she went to the wedding today she wore a midnight blue satin halter dress and she looked like an angel. If you really can look dowm on us from the heavens above, then you know exactly what I mean. Matt's a lucky guy!! I miss the boys (with four legs) Radar & Ninja, they are both so big and beautiful. You would be so rcrazy over both of them but Ninja especially. He is an awesome Ninja, the ultimate ambusher. He has done you proud. I started swimming in the pool with them a little but it makes me sad so I really haven't done too much swimming at all. The dogs love it though. Finally got the beautiful wall hangings that I had made from your memorial service. The one your best buddies gave you was done for our house and it came out fantastic. It has their picture in it, Radar, Ninja, &'s really beautiful and it is on the wall in the dining room next to the curio cabinet. The second one which was done with the Birds of Paradise I brought here and gave to Matt & Jess for their new home, That too, is really awesome and it has a family picture from their wedding and a picture of your baby, Ninja in it. Jess loves it and and will find just the right place to put it once they start to get all settled in. I didn't think as I started to get older my life would get so sad...but unfortunately it has....many days....more often tnan not I do not think that I will ever be happy again. I can't write anymore to you right now, but I will be back on soon. I love you with all of my being. My heart is broken and I do not think it is ever going to mend. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever ever let them go. May the Good Lord Bless You and Keep You at His Side Always

Your Loving Mother
June 23, 2006
Good Morning Big Brother,
So the time has finally come and this weekend Matt and I are moving into our new house! It's exciting, things are coming together nicely. We had our kitchen painted yesterday, it looks really really nice - like a brand new room.
There is so much to do, we still have to finish packing and cleaning our apartment and our house. We had a lot of dry wall and plaster work done in the house and now there is a fine layer of dust everywhere! But no worries, I got plenty of people to help me out, you already know this, but Mom is coming up and she is going to help me out with a bunch of things. Other than that, it is supposed to dump more rain on us this weekend, maybe you can talk to good ole Mother Nature and ask her to hold off so my furniture doesn't get wet!
I miss you, I wish you were here to see all the things that we have going on, it's really a fun time in my life (busy, but fun) and there is only one piece of the puzzle missing - YOU. It's almost been 7 months, doesn't feel like it, I still wish there was a way to bring you back, to make it all okay again. To put a smile back on our families face. You lit up the room whenever you entered and made so many of us laugh and smile. You were goofy and funny and truly a fun person to be around. That fun is gone most of the time for our family, it's hard. Slowly I'm sure it will come back, but it really disappeared when you died.
Anyway, watch over me, make my furniture light as a feather this weekend and keep the sky from raining on me.
I love and miss you with all my heart.
Love always big brother,
Your baby sis.
June 05, 2006
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!

I haven't written to you in a few weeks because I have been getting my eyes operated on and I have been trying to get adjusted seeing and all. Things are coming along. I will not have to wear glasses anymore. Actually, I don't now except for up close reading and working on the computer but that is just until they finish healing, then I should be able to see just fine. Right now it is a little hard for me working on the computer and it is hard everyay at work and work has been very busy. I told you I got my license and I did get my promotion too. I know that you know, and I believe that you are looking down on me from Heaven above, and that you are very proud of me. After you left me, I wasn't sure that I would ever be able to complete it, but I did and I am proud of myself. Now that I am a manager, my workload has definately increased, along with my responsibilities. I miss you so much, that will never change. I look at your beautiful smiling face everyday and I wish with all my heart that you were here with all of us, and I wonder why? I'm never going to know, but I'm never going to stop asking. We celebrated Dad's birthday a couple of weeks ago. It was very strange doing it without you. The whole day was weird. I wasn't happy at all and for me personally nothing seemed to work. The boys took us all out to Sam Seltzer's for dinner. We all had steak and when we were ordering I pictured you in my mind saying to the really cute waitress...."I want mine rare, as in mooing on the plate when you bring it out". We all laughed about that and how funny you always were and then I got all choked up just like I am doing now. After dinner we all just went home. Nobody ever wants to do anything. I did however buy tickets for Dad's birthday and took everyone out to Lakeland to the International Speedway this past Saturday night to the Hooters 250 Cup. We all had a good time. All the Hooters girls were there and when the race stopped for crashes they were signing t-shirts of all the younger men in the stands. I told your brother Jeff, "If Jarrod were here, He would not only be getting signatures...he'd be getting phone numbers too, of all the lovely young ladies"...Jeff said, "No doubt". I told stories about you on the way home in the car of when we went to DisneyWorld at Epcot and we were in the country France and you entranced and tried to mezmerize the young woman who was posing as a statuette. With all your persistance, you got her to blink and then when she took a break, you got her to talk to were so funny and such a charmer....them in Tomorrow Land when you and Dad posed for a picture with Betty-Boop, you were drooling and you had to put your tongue back in your mouth. You did your best to try to get a number from her but she wouldn't give in, but in my book you definately got an A+ for persistence. We laughed and just for those few minutes it was fun to talk about times together. Life is lonely Jarrod. When my sister Marie died, I was 10 days from giving birth to your brother Jeff and at that time I wondered how will my parents ever go on living without their daughter? How can they carry on? Somehow they did, but I remember watching my mother and she had such a heavy heart for so long and I know that a part of her died inside when Marie was called away. Then, I watched Aunt Karen and Uncle John suffer the same intense pain I saw my parents endure when Mikey died, only Mikey left us in the blink of an eye, and he was so young, and once again I wondered how will Karen ever survive the pain? How can she go on? Now I am in those very shoes...for you are gone. I sit and wonder why? How will I endure this pain? How will I go on? Mother's Days? Bithdays? Holidays? Will they ever be happy again? I guess as time passes I will find answers to these questions because brave women have gone before me but I sometimes feel like the road that leads to happy is going nowhere. I love you so much and you brought so much joy into my life, the void is huge and I just don't know how to try and fill some of the empty spaces. No one can ever take your place. My love for you is eternal. I know you are the brightest star up in the Heavens and that you are in the care and comfort of God and the Angels. Watch over me and all of us and guide us if you can. I truly believe that someday we will be together again. Until then, hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever let them go.
I love you with all of my being.
God Bless You and Keep You

Your Loving Mother
May 18, 2006
When I close my eyes and think back to when we were little so many memories pop into my head....playing the "lava game" with you and Jeff upstairs in your bedroom when we lived in Braintree; wanting to fit in with the 'boys' and being a tomboy playing with both my brothers, Greg and Chrissy....; you climbing trees in the back yard and Mom yelling to you to get down so you wouldn't hurt yourself; remember babysitting Mikey that time?....and paint ended up all over Karen and John's house....that wasn't funny at the time, but it is now. Most of all I remember you and I just being siblings....having fun, teasing each other, looking out for each other, getting along, fighting...whatever it was on any given day, I would do anything to get it all back.
I miss you, I miss having my brother around to talk with, to complain to, to ask advice of and the list goes on and on.
I know your up there watching over me, but it's not the same. I told Matt the other night that since we bought such an old house, we might have ghosts.....the only ghost I want in my house would be you....

All my love forever and ever...
Love, your baby sis.
May 15, 2006
May 14, 2006
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!

Well, that was the most wonderful surprise when that beautiful dozen pink roses and box of chocolates came to the front door today. I cried, I sure did....they were good tears because the card said it all....Happy Mothers Day....I am always with you....Love Jarrod and the Murphys. What else can I say. Your cousin Jennifer is unbelievably thoughtful. I called her and thanked her through the tears. She said she knew it was the right thing to do and she knows how much I am hurting today. She is absolutlely right. Jennifer also told me the flowers are from you and have come as an extention through her and Bobby and Ally & Sadie and I know that is true because you are not only with really are with all of us and you always will be. Thank you Murphy Family...I love you all very much. Thank you for bringing my son back to me today in the freshness and the smell and the beauty of the roses. Your loving hearts have helped to heal a small piece of the huge break I have in mine. Thank you for loving Jarrod and doing so much to keep his memory alive. Jarrod, you remember to be our guardian angel and always watch over us. This whole family loves you so much and we all miss you terribly. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go.
I will love you forever.

Your Loving Mother on Mothers Day
May 14, 2006
Hi Sweetheart, it's me Ma !

Well, today it is Mother's Day. A tough one for me. I wish you were her to be with me. Everyone is trying to help make it a little easier but the fact remains that now I am mother having a Mother's Day without one of my children and that is just plain tough. How am I really supposed to be happy? Do you got any answers? In the surreal, I could envision you bounding through the front door this morning , all smiles with a card and flowers and who knows what but that didn't happen. In the real, I will tell you what I did do. Last night and again this morning I took out some elemantary school papers I have saved all these years from you and Jeff and Jess. Right on the very top of the stack, the first one out was a pink piece of construction paper with your name printed on it by you and when I flipped it over it was a Mothers Day Card that you had drawn for me in 2nd grade. It was a picture of me sitting at a table. Pretty funny. Of course I cried...pretty hard...but the reality of it all was that you really are here with me in spirit. As I continued to look thru this stack of drawings and cards and papers I had many more from all of you, many made me laugh and many made me cry. I got to review some old report cards and swimming badges and poems and all kinds of things. It was very melancholy. Jess called first thing today to talk and wish ne a Happy Mothers Day. She and Matt are real busy working on their can see their progress so I don't have to tell you how hard they are working. She misses you so much. Jeff brought me beautiful red roses and a lovely card and Dad made sure that Radar and Ninja somehow got a card and a pot of mums into the house. Jen, as wonderful as she is, made sure she called to extend her wishes and that meant allot to me. Jennifer and I will always have a solid bond never to be cracked again. We made that promise to each other when you left us and we intend to stick to it. There is someone else I really miss, and you know who it is, but that is all I will say about that. Jeff's new friends Shawn and Bryna, who live right on Tarragon, a nice young couple brought me a platter of strawberries dipped in chocolate last night. They said they new it would probably be a tough day for me today and they wanted me to know that I was in their thoughts. It was so sweet...they made me cry. Talk about crying, yesterday was the first time I cried since I got the new lense in my left eye. I had surgery a few days ago and I am starting to see good. The other eye will be done in ten days. Then I will not need glasses anymore for most everything I do, and if I do need them it will be minimal. I will be able to see all of your beautiful pictures so much more clearly. I have to tell you that I bought a pool frisbee and it seems to be Ninja's favorite toy to play with in the pool. Radar is still ball crazy. Ninja likes the frisbee so much that when you throw it in...he jumps right off the side of the pool. We all went swimming last weekend for a quick dip after Dad and Jeff put up a nice new aluminum style fence to shorten the yard and give the dogs their half to run and play in. Now it has come the time to do some repair work, i.e. fix the beach side and so we are beginning. Anyway, the water is still on the chilly side so the only ones that are really enjoying the pool at this time are Radar and Ninja. Nothing really goes on anymore, life is dull and boring. Noboby really seems to be happy. How does a family ever really recover from losing someone that was such an important part of their lives? I miss you so much and I just wish you you here today and everyday so I could give you a big hug and a kiss and you could give one back to me. Since you have been gone, no one hugs me like you used to one. I miss that!! It is really hard to imagine that I might have to live through another five or ten or fifteen or twenty or thirty Mothers Days without you. Today, I cannot even think past the pain of you not being here with me. I love you with all of my heart and soul and you are never out of my thoughts, never out of my mind. Come see me in a beautiful dream...maybe tonight....surprise me!! Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever, ever, no, no, no, no, no, don't you ever let them go.
May God Bless You & Keep You Safe.

Your Loving and Lonely Mother
May 11, 2006
I really really miss you Jarrod. I guess that's as simple as it gets, I just plain miss you and long to talk with you.
All my love forever and ever,
your baby sis.
May 02, 2006
Hi Darling, it's me Ma!

I love you and I miss you so much. You have been on my mind constantly lately, not that you are not everyday, but lately I seem to be missing you terribly so. Tomorrow it will be five long months to the day since you left me and all of us who love you. I am not the only one who is lonely and misses you. We all do. Life is so different now. It is hard to be happy all the time. I have started to wonder if I even belong here in Florida anymore. We all came because of you, and now we don't have you here anymore to share our lives with. Can you see us Jarrod? You are missing out on so much, one mistake and your life ended much too young. I think about all the times I tried to give you caring and loving motherly advice, and yes I know you were a grown man, but you were and are still my child. Sometimes as I sit back and cry and reflect on your life I just think that if you had heard me just a little more clearly maybe that one mistake might not have happened and I would be sitting here talking and laughing with you, loving and hugging and kissing you. All the things that I miss so much. We all talk about missing you. Uncle Bill told Jeff today that he reminds him so much of you. Uncle Bill says tears come to his eyes often when he thinks of you. He loves you much and only wished he still had your warm and loving friendship. He is anxious to start to help me work on the garden I want to create in the back yard in your memory. he says he needs to do it. I know Dad and Jeff sure do wish they had you to go mountain biking with them. So many things are different. We all said that we don't even care if we ever go to Busch Gardens again, mostly because the last time we were there we were all there together with you and it was so much fun...nothing seems fun anymore. I still see Chris occassionally..he is a good guy...things did not work out with him and you know who. A real unfortunate situation for Chris because he really poured his heart into it. Needless to say, that has turned into a very negative situation and a hurtful and painful one for our whole family. I followed my heart and did what I thought was best and took a real lickin in the end, but that's life...I guess. You try to help the one's you love and somehow it backfires on you. The pain in my heart is immense...broken hearts never heal and when I lost you my heart broke in two and it will never mend but now I have pain added to it an it will take a very long time for the pain to go away, and so now I am suffering from the choice I made. Times have been strained and so life is unhappy...I wish you could make me smile. I look at your beautiful face and I do smile but it is only your picture. Your person is embedded in my face and my heart and my soul forever and a day. Over the next few weeks I have to have eye surgery, because my vision is failing. I am getting new lenses put in my eyes...just think of how clearly I will see your beautiful smile then. Jess & Matt are happy working on their new house. Everyone is helping them, oh...I know you know how much I wish I could. Just knowing that I cannot be there to share in their joy makes me very sad....but they are very happy!! Are you watching their progress? Jess knows in her heart that you are her guardian angel and that you know everything that is going on. Jess's friend from college Andrea and her husband Tim had a baby girl...they named her Lila...that tickled Jess...remember when I called her LilaBell? Sarah and Chuck are due to have their second baby Molly next month...Riley is almost 2 1/2 now. Time flys. I was counting on you to get married one day and give me lots of would have made beautiful children. Someday Jess and Matt will make me a Grandma and when that day comes it will be the happiest and saddest day of my life. Happy because I will be a Grandma to be and sad because I will not live near my grandchild. Jeff says he will never pro-create. Can you tell I am sad tonight? I really, really am. Now I feel the tears coming on. Why, oh why did this terrible horrible accident have to happen?? Sometimes I am so angry I could just scream at the top of my lungs. I have lost so many people in my life and I know it happens to many but why in the world did I have to have you taken from me....from us!!! We all miss you so. Please reach out to me. Come to me in my dreams or send me a sign. Your Aunt Karen says that your cousin Mikey sends her signs all the time and she knows that he is okay. Are you and Mikey together? Please do that for me. I love you with all of my heart and soul and will long for you all of the days of my life. My life is so empty without you. I just wish I could reason in my mind why God took you away from me. At night I hug Ninja so tight and I tell him how much you love him and that Daddy and I will always take care of him. I am grateful that I at least have your beautiful dog but I really, really wish that I still had you. Ninja is lucky that he has a wonderful big brother in Radar now too. Please come and see me in my dreams this has been the worst nightmare of my life. I love you with all of my being my most precious darling son. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't you ever, ever, ever let them go.
My heart is yours forever.
Sweet Dreams and God Bless You!!

Your Loving Mother
April 27, 2006
Hey Jarrod.
Just a quick hello to let you know that we all think of you alot everyday. Especially on Friday's when we play contact darts !! Of course we all know who started that new game :-) We are happy for your sister and her husband too on thier new home..wishing you were there to share in thier joy. You are there in spirit that we are definately sure of. The Allman Bros takeoff band was not as good as the Zepplin band but none the less they were good especially to dance too :-) You probably were looking at all of us grinning and most likely laughing at the gang of us. Well anyway just know that you will always be with us until we all meet again.We think of you all the time and we smile every time we think of the silly things we all would do like forgetting to pick up Brian with Joe and me asking where Brian was & we all looked at each other and laughed and you immediately went to get him and we laughed some more things like that we will always remember along with your contagious smile & laugh. Until the next time peace out and come see your mom in her dreams. Your mom needs you to go see her in her dreams and her days will get better. We heard she is making you a beautiful memorial we cannot wait to see it all.All our love forevah plus one day :-)
Mama "eileen" from beef's & the gang you know who everyone is:)
April 15, 2006
Hi Sweetheart, it's just me, Ma again.

I feel good after I write you a love note so I thought I would take a break from studying and send you some love in the form of one of my long letters again. It is a beautiful day, apparently not only here in beautiful sunny Florida, but in new England as well according to Jen and your sister Jess. It is a happy day in our family, as Jess & Matt are offiicial homeowners now, as of yesterday. Jess was so funny when she called me she bellowed into the phone ....It's official !! Then she told me she just wanted to go to the house and jump up and down and yell, "it's mine, it's mine, it's mine". Those words reminded me of you in so many ways. She was so bubbly with enthusiasm and excitement. Her favorite stores have always been Banana Republic and Ann Taylor....well now they will become Lowe's and Home Depot. Dad and I just spent a minute together looking at pictures she sent on the computer of their new house. As I looked at them I could envision seeing you there sharing in their joy. I know if you were still with us, you would be there in the blink of an eye to help and I know that it is really hurting Jess's heart not having you to share this special moment with. We always tell each other how very much we miss having you here to share our lives with us. Sometime in June we will probaably be going up for a housewarming party and although it will be great fun, it will be all too melancholy for me because I will have a hard time trying to really enjoy myself without you sharing in the good times. You are never out of my mind for longer than a single moment. The pool is just about warm enough to swim in, but I have yet to go in the water. Part of my hesitation is that I just had so much fun with you last summer and now that part of fun is gone so I guess in my mind I'm deciding will I still have fun? Your absence has not stopped Radar and Ninja though. They are pool-hounds. They would be in every second, if one of us did not say "NO". You would be loving Ninja....he is so gorgeous and so big. I still think they both look for you to come thru the door. I bought a whole basket full of new toys for them and Radar is such a good boy, he just plays with the toys, but Ninja in the first two days managed to chew holes in three of them and has already totally destroyed one. The splash ball bombs they play in the pool with he chews holes in those too, so once they get too many holes I have to throw them away because they sink to the bottom and I have to buy new ones. I buy a new four pack at least once a week. I am studying to take my state exam and I have been keeping myself pretty secluded. That comes up at the end of the month. If you have any pull with the big guy, and I can't imagine that you don't by now, ask him to say an extra little prayer for me so that I pass. If I do I should get a promotion at work not long after which only leads to even better things. Everytime I see Uncle Bill, we always get talking about you, he loves you alot. Sometime soon, I hope that he and I can start to build a garden in the back yard so that I can place the cross that Uncle John made for you. If Uncle Bill can lend a hand, I just know the garden will be awesome. The Florida Highway Dept of Transportation placed a memorial marker on the highway close to the crash site. I have not seen it yet, but the boys have. I do not like to go on that stretch of the highway anymore, a very strange feeling comes over's as if you are trying to reach out to me. Darling, you can reach out to me through the warm rays of the sun, the pouring of the rain, the twinkling of the stars in the night sky. Anyway you want, just come to me, come to your Ma in her dreams. Your are in my heart and soul forever and a day and I will love you with every beat of my heart until I take the last breath here on earth and then beyond. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go. Walk happily among God and the Angels in the Kingdom of Heaven because I will meet you again one day My Most Beloved Son. God Bless You.

Your Loving Mother
April 06, 2006
Hi's me Ma!

This past weekend was a tough one. It has been four months since you left me...left all of us, an unbelievable group of family and friends that love you and love one another so much. All of us will keep you and your memory alive for as long as we live. You are such a special person. Everyone has their own qualities,but you had a way about you that drew people to you, that is one of the many, many things that I love about you but the list goes on forever...forEVAH!!! Everybody is right when they talk about spring and summer coming and thinking about the things they will be doing and wishing you were here to do those things with them. It will be hard on all of us. I want to sit on the patio with you and just talk, swim in the pool with you and the dogs, take in a concert, share my birthday with you, watch you and Dad banter over who cooks a better steak on the grill, wait for all my boys to come home from a Sunday bike ride in the woods, watch a movie together, walk the dogs together and the list goes on and on and on...simple things but things that mean so much that we can never do again. If you can look down on all of us from up in Heaven, you know that we would all give anything, anything at all to have you back here with us. I just wish you didn't have to leave so soon. Everyday is so hard but I wake up each morning with a positive attitude because I know you want me to be strong. I look at your beautiful face, say "Good Morning Sweetheart" blow you a kiss and try to make the most out of my life the best way I know how. I try to walk in the sunshine of your love. Your beautiful cabinet came on Saturday and now I am starting to feel like you really do have a special place. It is very beautiful. One shelf holds your urn, a small spray of dried yellow roses , the christmas card I gave you this year, the angel of remembrance statue, mother and son statue, your guestbook from your services, and the caligraphy book Jessica had made with the message she read to you when you left us, your wallet, cell phone and wristwatch that stopped on the 3rd at 3:o6. The next shelf has the message that Chris read to you when you left us, , a book of entries from your service in Mass., the pictue from your house of you & Jess taken on Cape Cod, the pictue from your house of you holding your god-daughter Alexis when she was just a baby, a handmade vase given to me from a friend in your honor, two angels made at Christmas, one for you and one for Mikey, the five Christmas ornaments I sent to you the first Christmas you were here in Florida without us with mine, Dads Jeffs Jess & Matts pictures in them, Ninja's Boston Red Sox Collar and his dog tag with his first address, and the first leash you bought him, and the medallion from LifeLink. On the third shelf is your New England Patriots football that was sent from Bob Kraft, the letter from the New England Patriots, the Game Day Book, the photo of Ellis Hobbs, your collectible Patriot cars, your Corey Dillon #28 shirt and your favorite New England Patriots hat, it is the hat you were wearing on that fateful night. The cabinet looks so beautiful. It is lighted and is so special. In the bottom half I have all of the beautiful cards and notes and letters that all of our family and friends sent to Dad and I during this time. On the top is the picture of you standing outside of Gillette Stadium when you went to the Patriots game with Bobby, and on either side are your pictures of our family that were taken at the Boardwalk in Sandwich. I will treasure every item that gets put into that cabinet and I will protect them with my life. I have tried with all my heart and soul to depict and honor your life and your spirit as I thought you would like it. I love you so much My Darling Son, if only I could put my arms around you just one more time and hug you. I hug you every minute of every day in my mind and in my are never out of my thoughts and you will be in my heart forever. Soon I will have the flower boxes to hang beside your cabinet. When they come I will tell you about them. After that, Uncle Bill and I will be working on a garden in the back yard to help celebrate your beautiful life. I love you with all of my being. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go. Jarrod...God Bless you, I love you so much...shine your love upon me and please come and see me in my dreams.

Your Loving Mother
April 06, 2006
Four months have come an gone.And the sadness hasn't gone away it may be a little easier to deal with but, it is still very real. You are thought about, spoken about and to everyday. Our love for you is everlasting and you will always remain in our hearts but most of all you will all ways remain a very real and vivid memory. I am so happy that we had so many fun years teogher and I cherish every memory that we shared. Now miss Alexis would like to say something to it goes...I love you jarrod, thank you for playing outside with me.Soon all of us will be in Heaven with you. Good bye. I will write again soon, hugs and kisses. love, Jen & Ally
April 05, 2006
Hey Jarrod We have all been thinking alot about you alot lately. Especially now that the good weather is coming. They have had afew concerts down at the shed .Talk about crowded yikes.! But it is not the same without you being there with us. This weekend it is going to be an Allman Bros knockoff concert the one before was Skynard (which was great) Nick ,Brian and I went to the Lightning game the same day... we all thought about you too because we knew you loved hockey. I personally say good morning and goodnight everyday to you hope you hear me. Football teams are going nuts even the Pats they let Adam Vinateri go I could not believe it and a few other key players. I hope they know what they are doing. Anyway we miss you lots and until we meet again . Peace out my friend. Love always Mama from Beefs and the rest of us you know who we all are. P.S I just wish I let you bring the dog that one Sunday and then Maybe you would still be here with us. It would stop alot of the sadness. Again until the next time all our love now & forever
March 29, 2006
March 27th, 2006

Hey Big Brother,

Well as you know, Matt and I are buying a house. Not just any house, but a beautiful antique home in Mansfield – the one I drove you by when you were here in November. It makes me smile to know that I drove you by that home to show you what Matt and I were interested in and you showed so much happiness for us. On the flip side of the coin this is one of those times that I wrote to you about – not having you here for one of the biggest things in my life. I have been very upset this weekend, I can’t seem to think clearly, I’m crying, my eyes hurt – they need a rest. Matt and I started packing this weekend and it was like I turned on the waterworks. I was thinking how exciting it would be to have you up here, enjoying a backyard BBQ over the summer, just having a good time. I was also thinking about how we moved from Needham to the cottage in Tilton, NH and you and Juice came up to help us move all our stuff down the awful stairs in the old house in Needham and up the even worse stairs at the cottage in NH. No matter what the task, you always had a good time. I just wish you were here this time to help me move (another set of stairs that will be just as challenging).
Yesterday, Matt and I went out to Jordan’s looking for a new bedroom set or should I say our first full bedroom set. It was fun, we don’t know what we want yet, but there is def. enough variety to choose from. Afterwards, we headed down to his parents house for the afternoon. It was Matt’s grandpa’s birthday so they were having a small party for him at Aunt Lynn’s and Uncle Greg’s house. All day again crying. I couldn’t go to the party. Matt was so sweet, he drove me around while I cried and talked about you. He brought me back to his parent’s house after they headed to the party so I wouldn’t have to see anyone, I stayed there and laid on the couch and napped while he went to hang out with the family. With his help, I realized why I couldn’t go…..last time I was there it was Thanksgiving and you were with me. I was thinking about that day and how much fun we had, but I couldn’t bear the thought of being there and picturing your smiling face in every room, but not having you there. I don’t know, sounds weird I bet, but its how I felt. Then last night was sad and depressing, this morning I wake up and it was sad and depressing. Now I am at work, I can’t focus, it’s just not a good day for this crap and I have so much to do. AUGH! Sometimes you just need a mental health day and unfortunately the day I need it, I have a million things to do.
I miss you; it’s not the same without you. There is no one who can fill this void in my life. You, our family and your friends were robbed of your life and it’s not fair. I have also been robbed of my dreams and that’s not fair either. I so badly want to have a nice dream about you.

Til we meet again big brother. All my love forever and a day.
Love, your baby sis.
March 27, 2006
Hi Jarrod,
It me your cousin who always cries when you enter my mind. Which is everyday. Somedays I wish I could describe in words the sadness I feel but, I don't think the correct words exsist. I just know how I feel. I miss you terribly, I wish I could call you and chat. And possibly be a little nosey about your love life and you would tell me "I'm not talking about it" just like you did to your mom, but we'd always try to inquire! but then there were times you would tell us too much about other topics! You know what I mean.. I ran into your friends Johnathon the other night at Old Navy, I could tell he is sad. He sent his love to your parents and the rest of our family. He is a nice guy. I can tell why you liked him, hes genuine. You can just tell by talking to him. Bobby is back to work pretty much full time now. And I will be busy in the office again too. Its money making time. I am very excited for Jess & Matt. There new home looks beautiful. Bobby is going to be doing some Bobcat work for them this summer. It will be nice to help them out. After all that's what family is all about! I have to go now, but I will write again soon. Sending you lots of love. Jen. xoxo
March 25, 2006
Hi Sweetheart, it's me Ma.

I am sitting here looking at your beautiful face, missing you like crazy and wishing every minute of every day that you were here with me. Your handsome and charismatic smile made me smile and laugh every day and although that does not happen on a daily basis anymore when I look at your beautiful face in pictures and I see you in my mind and in my heart I can smile and even laugh because you brought so much joy and love into my life. The sunshine is getting stronger as we are now into spring and so the days will be longer. Each day the sunshines, I know that you are helping to radiate that warmth into my heart because you loved the Florida sunshine so much. I think about how I worried about you getting to much sun all those days you were up on top of those pool cages, but you never worried. You put on your tanning lotion and carried on, the "Git R Done Way". I miss you bouncing through the door each morning, so full of energy. You were always the most rambunctious and had the most energy of the three of you. As summer gets here it will be difficult at times to be out on the pool deck enjoying the pool and sitting in the sun without you being with us. Radar, Ninja, and Muddy miss you. I can tell. You would be so proud of Ninja, if only you could see him today. He will always be your baby, but he is mine and Dad's boy now and we will love him forever, all 83 big, fun, and slobbering pounds of him. Ninja and Radar are the best of buddies. They would be lost without each other and your brother Jeff helps takes such good care of them...he loves them so much. We have been letting them go in the is still too chilly for us, but they are having a blast. Ninja sits on the seat where the spa jets are and he bats at the balls under water and sticks his head under to get them just like you taught him...oh, how I wish you could see him, he is so cute. Radar is still the fastest swimmer by far but Ninja is the ultimate ambusher. No wonder you gave him that name, he is living up to it. I was looking at pictures a few days ago and saw some of Ninja floating in the pool in the inflatible ring with the sunglasses on....what a stitch. I bet he will do it this year too. Pretty soon we should all be swimming again and we hope to have the pool solar heated for next winter. In a couple of weeks Dad and I should be getting the corner curio cabinet we ordered for you. It will be going into the dining room. I am creating a special place for you. The cabinet is being finished to match the dining room set and it is beautiful. It is lighted and in the cabinet I will place your urn, your patriots hat that you were wearing that fateful night, your wristwatch that stopped on the 3rd at 3:06 a.m., the beautiful caligraphy book your sister Jessica had made for me and Dad that has the story she wrote and read at your srevices here and in Mass., along with your autographed football that Bob Kraft from the New England Patriots sent me with your collectible patriot cars and other special things that belong to you that we will treasure forever. Once I get it all put together I will tell you all about it. I am going to continue collecting your Patriot cars for you. Then, pretty soon the flower boxes that I am having made will also be ready. Jess and I took two arrangements from your service here in Florida and had the flowers freeze dried and put into memory boxes. One is the sunflower & roses heart wreath that we sent to you from your best buddies with four legs, Radar, Ninja, and Muddy. Their picture will be in the box along with a plaque in your honor. The other will be somewhat different, it has the birds of paradise, which sybolize the birds "going home" on your urn, that one has one of Jess & Matt's wedding pictures with the six of us and will have a plaque as well. I am very excited about getting them. I know they will be very beautiful and done very tastefully and will honor your life and all of our love to you. Your cousin Jen, is also making something very special, not to mention that soon there will be a special place on the Boardwalk in Sandwich, Mass. which will be a memorial to you. Jen and Bobby did so much to help Dad and I and Jeff & Jessica through one of the most difficult times of our lives. There will never be enough words in the world to say Thank You. So, Jen and Bobby, when you read this... I've said it before many times and I will say it again many more, Thank You from the bottom of our hearts...We Love You Both Very Much...You are Both very special people not only in our lives but were in Jarrods life as well, and he loved you very, very, much. We will all make sure that Ally & Sadie know all about Uncle Jarrod. Now, Jarrod you have a job to do, you have to watch over all of us and keep us safe. Your sister & Matt are buying the antique house that she drove you by when you were up in Novemebr. She is so happy that she showed you that house because she says now she knows that you know where she and Matt will live. As you look down upon us from up in the heavens, high above the clouds, safe in the comfort of God and the Angels know that you are so loved and so missed and that each day goes by there is a void that can never be filled. Somehow we are all learning to get on with life but it is a struggle and we wish you were here to share it with us everyday. If only I could hear you say "Hi, Ma" just one more time. Maybe someday soon you will come to me in my dreams, until then hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go. I love you with all of my being and I know that someday we will be together again. God Bless You My Darling Son.

Your Loving Mother
March 22, 2006
Karen and family,
I wanted to send my condolences to you all. I am in Florida now as well and had heard about Jarrod but had not found this site earlier. Karen what beautiful letters to Jarrod, what a wonderful way to honor your love and memories of him. I remember talking to you at the bank in Mashpee (S&S) about the kids and it was obvious they mean the world to you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
March 11, 2006
Hi Jarrod,
I know in my heart you were watching me last night as I began to make something for your/our family and friends in your honor. I bet you never thought I was so talented, neither did I. It will be a while before they are all done but, it will be worth the wait. And when those of you who read this are wondering what it'll just have to wait and see. I can tell by talking to your mom and reading her entries that she is doing much better. I try to think of all the good things about you and it makes loosing you a little bit easier. I know that you would not be happy if we all sat around and cried all the time and when I do, I think of what you would say. And then I smile because I know that in the thirty years we had teogher we were so much more than cousins we were also great friends. We went through good and bad, but every memory will be forever stored in my heart. It was so hard on all of us to loose you. But in all of our heart we know that time does not stand still, and as hard as it is we must go on. We will all be teogher again but until then life is short and we must try to live life to the fullest, just like you did. I hope you are doing well & watching over all of us. Sending you love. Jen
March 11, 2006
Hi Sweetheart,

It's just me, Ma. It has been a little bit since I have written to you but you are not out of my thought for more than one minute. I love you so much and I miss you just as much. Everyday, I wish you were here with me. It has now been three and a half months since you left us and I have been in such pain I have not been able to see through it to realize all the joy and happiness that you brought into my life. A co-worker and friend spoke to me about a week ago and then wrote me a note and in those words she helped me to see that losing you is part of my life that I must accept and I do, but that I also must go on. Her words were kind and gentle and beautiful and very heartfelt and deep. She told me that if I was able to see my way through the grief of losing you that I would start to find myself again and once I did I would be able to walk in the sunshine of your life and enjoy the light and love that you brought to me. Well, somehow, someway those words have had a profound affect on me and I realized that you would not want me to continue on this path of such grief. I know that you can see me and just like Jen said when I cry I believe that you know and when I smile I also believe that you know. Now, I realize that I must try to start smiling a lot more often. When you were here with me you made me smile all the time. You were a CHARMER, there is no doubt about it. That laugh and smile, your boundless energy, your passion for life, your love of family and friends, your goals and ambitions that is what I and everyone else loves about you so much. Nobody will ever quite drive me crazy the way you had the "knack" to do it. I want to feel the sunshine of your love and I am going to say to everyone and anyone that asks me that I have a wonderful son that is not with me any longer, one that I miss with all my heart, that warmed my soul, and that brought some of the greatest joy into my life that I will ever experience. You, gave Dad and I a new chapter of life to live here in Florida and I know now that I must do exactly that. I must live my life with a smile, enjoy our family that is here with me, keep your memory alive with your beautiful little cousins, Maddie, Ally, Sadie and Hailey and all your friends. Cherish every moment that I had with you here on earth, because I do believe that we will be together again one day and until that day you will be deep in my heart and soul forever and ever. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go. I love you with all of my being. God Bless You.

Your Loving Mother
March 08, 2006
Hi Jarrod,
I have been thinking about you alot lately. I miss you alot, I know you see me when I cry and also when I smile. When ever I hear a song that we used to dance to at the clubs it makes me laugh and I remember how much fun we had. I can still remember when you and my friend Mike Foley entered the girls bikini contest at 615 Main st. too funny..the both of you with your shirts wrapped up through the collar!! My guy friends loved you too. And Bobby would always watch us be silly and eventually join in but, he just wasn't made to move like that! But he always tried :) you were so much fun to be around you had this amazing energy...can you send me some? I was also looking through some pictures from last may when you came for Chad's wedding. You took Alexis outside our house and picked a bunch of flowers and weeds and you two made me a beautiful boquet. I remember that awesome feeling I had at that time and the smile it brought to my face. Thank you. I will cherish that memory forever. Those may have been the most beautiful flowers I have ever gotten! I know the meaning behind them was heartfealt, it was special. I thought that these stories might bring a smile to everyone who reads this guest book. you were so silly, and so sincere no matter what you did people always laughed..those around you always had fun, you always made them feel good. I wish I could share one more laugh with you, one more memory one more moment. And when I write to you I feel like you are near and I know in my heart you are. Ally and Sadie talk about you alot, I want to make sure that you always remain "alive" in thier memories. I feel its very important that they remember you for the fun loving, crazy uncle that you were. Playing football with thier stuffed animals and acting like a goofball. When we were all here for your memorial mass. I saw alot of you in Jess and Matt, they are also both very fun. They will make wonderful parents one day and I hope that my girls and thier kids will be able to grow up and be close like we all were. I hope you know that Even though you are gone you will always remain in my heart. I love you and miss you. Sometimes a good cry makes me feel better and it also reminds me of how much I love you. Sending you my love.
March 02, 2006
Hey Cous!! it's me again. So, I have met some of your Floridian friends, you always knew how to pick a great group of people!! I just wish that my coming to Florida would have been to spend time with you, instead i am missing you dearly. I am a true Floridian now, well at least according to my license. I will alway be a Mass chick!! Now that I have been here since September I know I will never go back to the cold, the snow, and the rude people you'd meet from time to time. well of course there will be visits back home from time to time. Me and the girls went to visit your mom,dad,and Jeff yesterday, what a surprise that was. Well what I mean is that the "Rasta Dog" ain't no "Rasta" anymore. You can actually see his eyes, with his nicely shaven haircut he got, no more moppy look to him. You'd have to agree the short hair is better for him in the heat. I miss you and I love you
Your Loving Cousin
March 01, 2006
January 8, 2006

Dear Jarrod,

Hi Sweetheart, it's me Ma. Well, they did it again. The Pats beat the Jags 28-3. I knew they would, and I know that you had a part in it because we all believe that you are one of their Angels in the EndZone. Now, just remember, whether they go to Indy or Denver next week make sure you're there. They will win....I just know it. Go Pats!!!!!!!! The past couple of days it has been real chilly (cold) you surely wouldn't like it. Real foggy in the morning and cloudy at night. When we have been walking Ninja and Radar it has been hard to see the I can't find your STAR...but I know you are up there watching down on us. I miss you so much...I still cry everyday...I don't know when that awful pain will ever go away....if ever. Even though I watch football it just isn't the same without you or your enthusiasm. Dad, Jeff and Shelby have been going mountain bike has been a good release for them....I wish I could find a good release for me. We gave Shelby your bike....we believe in our hearts that you would want him to have it and he is using it and really enjoying it. I saw you in my dream on Friday was only for a minute and I can't remember anything except you had a smile (that beautiful smile on your face). Please come to me again. I have such a hole in my heart , I don't think it will ever mend. Jarrod, I love are and have always been so precious to me. I think about all thirty years I spent with you and they were great. So much fun and excitement...but now it has diminished and I feel the lonliness and don't know what to do. Please send me a sign, help me to find my way without you. I miss everything about you. Your birthday is coming and that is troubling me so. I don't think I can put lasagna on the menu. I have thought about it alot but I just don't know if I have the courage. I guess I will have to make up my mind over the next week. Perhaps if you come to me in my dreams again you can help answer that question. I miss you, I love you, I want you back, and I really can't imagine living another day of my life without you. I will, I just am having a hard time trying to figure out how. Please help me. Hold on extra tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go.


Your Loving Mother
February 28, 2006
Hi Honey,

Ma again!! Today is your brother-in-law Matt's birthday. He is 29. I didn't even remember to call and say Happy Birthday and now I am feeling bad but it is 10:30 p.m. and he and Jess are fast asleep. If you can hear me visit your sister in her dreams. She so wants to know that you are okay just as I do and I of course will never refuse a visit, although I am still waiting. Please come to me. I love and miss you so much. It has been 73 long torturous days since you left us. Feels like more of a lifetime and I think I have aged about 20 years in that time frame. We are all trying to get back to life without you but it is not easy for any of us. We all miss you very much. I can hardly stand it and I do not think I am doing really too good. I want you to know that I am trying but I just miss you so much that some days I feel like I could just crawl right out of my skin like a snake sheds theirs. I am struggling at work, it is really hard to keep my mind on what I am doing because my mind wanders off to thinking about you all the time and I have never taken my test to become a manager yet. I am approved by the great State of Florida now to take the test but I am not prepared. I cannot study, and everything I thought I learned when I went to class in Ft Myers for the weekend I forgot. I can't seem to keep my mind on anything. I have been so depressed lately, I think the dogs are afraid of me, well...not really afraid ...they jsut don't know what to make of me. I wish I knew when I write to you that you can hear me or that somehow you know what I am trying to tell you. I have such a heavy heart and I feel like each day a little piece of me dies. I have cried enough tears to fill every ocean on the earth. Are there any oceans up in Heaven that need filling?, because I can probably fill one or two of them as well. I have been talking with Devi and she is coming to Florida for a visit. We will be getting together and I cannot wait to see her. She is very special in my heart and I love her. I will be giving her some special things of yours if she wants them, which I think she does. Devi is having a hard time dealing with your passing. She loved you very much. Jess & Matt maybe be coming again in a couple of weeks too. It would be so great if they were here at the same time because I always wanted Jess to meet Devi. Stephanie and the girls and Chris are well settled into their new house and life here, and she has a job which I got for her. She is very happy and has you to thank for alot of her happiness. I found bedroom dressers for the girls in the want ads and Dad picked them up for me, up in Wesley Chapel. I made sure when they got them that Maddie and Hailey each had a picture of you to put on top of their new dressers for their bedroom so that their Uncle Jarrod is always watching over them. Then the next day I made them each a betta fish bowl to put on the dressers too. Last I heard, Maddie's fish was called Bug-a-Boo Fish and Hailey's fish was caled UH-Oh Fish. They are both such darlings. I love them so much. Well Sweetheart, I feel you hug me each day and I know that you are holding on tight to my Heartstrings. Please don't ever let them go. I love you with all of my being. Please come and see me in my dreams my LoneStar. I love you so. God Bless you and keep you. I will miss you forever.

Your Loving Mother
February 24, 2006
Hi Sweetheart,

It's just me again Ma. Missing you everyday like crazy. Ten weeks have gone by now and it feels like an eternity. I still cry everyday and wish I had you here to laugh with me and play with the dogs and to challenge me, because we both know you did that quite well. Home life is quiet. Nobody bounds through the front door like you used to. I hope as time passes I will get some of your energy. You had a fire that burned inside of you all the time. There really never was a dull moment when you were around. I wish so much I always said "yes" to everything you ever asked of me but then if I did I wouldn't be the person I am today and I would not have ended up being the mother you loved and who loves you so much. I think about time passing and I wonder what I am going to do as spring draws near. The more time we start to spend outdoors I know the more I will miss you. A couple of weeks ago we let Radar and Ninja go for a swim in the pool. As I watched them I cried because I envisioned you being in there with them throwing them around and having fun. It is never going to be the same this summer. One joy we will have is that Maddie & Hailey will be here to have fun with us and I am so looking forward to that. Maddie asks about you everyday and as Hailey grows older, I will make sure she knows all about her Uncle Jarrod who loved her very much. I don't know if I mentioned this or not but I am going to get a tattoo pretty soon. I am doing it for you. You begged me to get another one, I am. It will be a New England Patriots tattoo for two reasons. One because you were there biggest and best fan and second because Bob Kraft honored my request and sent me an autographed football for you. Dad and I went out the other night and ordered a corner curio cabinet, a beautiful one so that it could be your special place in our home. All of your treasures will be placed in that cabinet and taken care of with tender loving care. I will hang the flower boxes and Patriots team picture and the beautiful story Chris wrote to you around it. It will become your "Special Place". Dad is going to move his office into the big room upstairs and we are going to display your Patriots shirts and things for him. That will keep you close to him and make him happy. You will never leave our home you will always be with us. I told you about the new lofted barn in the yard. Well, I am going to ask Uncle Bill to help me create a garden on the backyard side of it which we will surround with a white wicket fence and it will have rock gardens and beautiful flowers because in that garden is where we are going to put the white cross that Uncle John made for you out of the aluminum that you guys use each day. It is a beautiful cross. It will have your name on it and all of us will sign a personal message to you. I know it will be special and beautiful, just like you are. I miss you with every beat of my heart and will never stop missing and longing for you. I want you to be here with me and the rest of our family. I just wish you didn't have to leave us so soon. Life isn't fair. I really don't think I will ever recover to where I am whole again, but know this, you always have a piece of me with you. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go. I love you and miss you with all of my being for the rest of my life.

Your Loving Mother
February 24, 2006
Hey Jarrod
Been thinking of you alot lately. We sure miss you alot.Brian & I and Jessie went ovah to Stephanie's & Chris's house for the Pro Bowl -we had fun. Brian challenged the "dart queen" Did you teach Steph how to play?! Funny thought you & Mark & Brian playing "contact darts" :-)
They have a very nice place & your cousin is cool just like you :-) I love the accent haha-just like ours !! Have not had chance to meet up with your mom & dad yet but we will soon. Anyway everyone thinks of you every day. Go visit people in thier dreams I am sure they would love it especially your mom. Until the next time Jarrod peace,love & happiness.
All our love
Brian, Eileen- aka Mama & the gang.
February 23, 2006
Hey Big Brother,
Missing you my own way, like no one can understand. Just like it's hard for me to understand exactly how your many other loved ones feel. It's so unjust, not fair that your gone. I don't understand why the good ones are taken from us. I'm writing because I got the opportunity to talk about you tonight with some of my girlfriends from work. I was able to keep my emotions under control for the most part, but really found that I conveyed the "fun loving" quality that you had your entire life. I told them how during the first week you were gone and Matt and I were in FL, how me, Mom and Chris sat around and talked about the really funny things about you. The things that make us laugh and remember the really good qualities about you. So one of the stories I told was one that Mom told me. You were young...maybe 10 or so and it was around Halloween and you were able to bring a costume to school. Well at the time I was in ballet and had an outfit for an upcoming recital. It was a HOT PINK leotard and tutu and you wanted to bring that as your costume! Finally Mom gave in and you brought it. Well, little did she know that you would hide in the woods at the bus stop and change into that pink leotard and tutu. Well you did and you got on the bus and headed for school. Long and short of it is, the princepal called Mom and told her what you did. You stayed in school all day and came home later with your "real" school clothes in your arms. I think about that and it is just so funny to me. How unique and original you were. You were always you and that's why so many people cared so deeply for you. You had the qualities that so many people could only dream of having. I also told another story about how the bank screwed up and charged you a fee that was unjust. They wouldn't refund you so you made a sign and picketed until they gave you what you deserved, rightly so. My friends told me "boy he sounds like a hot ticket" Well they couldn't be more right. You were a hot ticket. You will always be someone who I will think about every minute of everyday. I still have a hard time imagining my world without you in it. There are endless moments that I know I will stop and think, I wish Jarrod were here to enjoy this with me. If only I could pick up the phone and say hey, how ya doing big brother? It's the little things that make it so hard.
Gosh, it must seem like I'm rambling. It must be because I haven't written on-line in a long time. Well, you know I write to you but just in my personal book.
I miss you every day forever.
All my love forever and ever,
Love, your baby sis.
February 22, 2006
Hey Cous!!! I hope Heaven is treating you well, I could only imagine the women that may tickle your fancy. I miss you. In case you haven't been watching me closely, I just got a car, with the help from your loving parents, I owe them for the rest of my days, at least it is interest free for some of the loan. I start office work for a plumber tomorrow, another helping hand from ya moms. Go figure, I leave a plumber, date a an ex-plumber, now i will work for one, once again. I guess thats where I have the most experience.
Your parents are doing good. Moms has her good and bad days, in which I know will be for the rest of her life. I believe that I am helping her cope in some way. I am definately keeping her busy, but now that I have a car and job, she will now be able to relax and take some time to herself. look out for her, as I know you always did, she needs it now more than ever. Your Dad seems to be O.K. We talk about you all the time. He laughs, I think it makes him real happy to talk about you, and I know he misses you dearly. Mark has been a big help throught all of my life changing. He actually even spent the day with your mom, me and the girls to help find me a reliable car. Being the mechanic and having the smarts when it comes to cars. i knew I could count on him to pick out a car for me, and it's Cherry Red!!!! Only thing its missing is the convertible top!! HAHAHA
Maddie says hello to you everyday, and I am upset that little Hailey never got the honor to meet your acquaintance. We call her "The Hailey Bomb", a certain someone gave her that name. Hailey got the name because she is always climing on couches or beds and jumping up, landing on her bum, and laughing.
Some times I have to keep my self extremely busy so I forget about my past life of 8 years. I give myself such anxiety sometimes, I never stop for a minute.
Some people don't understand that 8 years is sometimes not so easy to forget about, and moving on is hard at first, then every day gets a little easier. I pray for you to give me guidance and strength each day that passes without you here. I know that if you were here you'd say "don't worry about it, all is going to be fine..."
I was looking at all your albums with your mom yesterday, and I remember all the good times we had on the cape, when you would mix at the club, and i would be the the "boucer, money collector, bracelet checker at the door". What good times we had then. I wonder if that was the last time you saw or spoke to Gumbo???
Well the weather ia about 80, so I will talk to you again, I am going to be a "tropical peoples" and spend the afternoon in the sun, before I start my new job.
With all my Love
Your loving cousin
February 15, 2006
Hi Sweetheart,

It's me Ma. Happy Valentine's Day. It has been difficult not having you here to share it with me, because every year you would always make sure I got a card and some flowers and usually you hand delivered matter what with a huge smile and that big hug that I love and miss so much. Well, I did get flowers...from Dad and Jess...she sent three red for each of my kids who loves me very much. They are on my desk at work...purpose is to try and keep a smile on my face. Jeff gave me a card and Lindor Chocolates...yummy, and Steph gave me a nice card. It was very cold , you would not have liked it. Definately not your style. Everybody tried to make the day easier on me but it wasn't. Jeff even cleaned the house. Family life has been less than perfect and Dad and I are having a tough time of it...hopefully as time passes things will settle down. We are both missing you in our own ways and it is very tough. Florida has been in a cold spell which has kept the guys from working and that doesn't help. Hopefully it will warm up soon. I hope Jess can come back soon to help me pick out beautiful cases for the dried flowers I had done in remembrance of your passing. I don't think I can do it alone. I am so tired, I have been helping Steph so much, and I will continure to do so but I just feel like I have no time for me. I hardly talk to anyone. It was nice that Jen & Bobby & the girls came down, but I hardly saw them and I was very emotional which I am everyday. Timing wasn't good and they would not stay with us because Sadie hates that was disappointing. I know how much you always wanted them to come down here to be with you and have it was hard for me to enjoy all seemed so surreal. I need to start thanking people for all they did during your passing. I have not even started too, and I don't even know if I am ready. Many of your friends are still waiting for your picture which I promised and I will get those out soon. I want to send Devi a special package...but I just have not found the time to do it yet. I need to call her, I miss her and I want to keep in touch with her. She loved you and I know she still does in her own way, oh, how I wish the two of you never broke up....maybe things would have been different and maybe you would still be here with all of us. Now, I can only wish. Wishing on my LONESTAR. I miss you so much sometimes I can hardly is hard for most of our family to understand that. I wish they would try harder. My life will never be the same...I don't think I am ever going to be the same again...I feel like a little bit of me dies everyday. I pray that you are happy and Heaven is a glorious and happy place for you. Make new friends and treasure the ones you have left behind. I thought for sure that you would be here for all of my life and now I am without you. Living, with you being gone is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I love you and miss you with all of my heart and soul. Hold on tight to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go. I hope your Valentines Day was good for you. Did you chase all of the beautiful women around up in Heaven? I bet, they found you first, you are such a charmer and so handsome too. I love you My Darling, and I will never, ever stop missing and loving you. Please come to me in my dreams. I need to see you so much. Love You.

Your Loving Mother
February 08, 2006
Hi Jarrod,

It's me Ma. I'm still missing you like crazy and that is never going to stop. I am also trying hard to find a way to be happy...but I just don't know how too. I have never lost a child before and even though I have endured losing many loved ones in my life nothing has ever been as painful as losing you. I am looking at your beautiful smiling face in a picture right now and I only wish I had it to look at everyday face to face in person. I miss everything about you, even all the annoying little things. But I mostly miss your hugs. You were the best hugger EVAH as Mama from Beefs would say. We all love and miss you so much. My life and everyone else's is going to go on but it will never be the same so I guess I somehow have to learn how to smile again each day and be happy. Chris is happy. He is in love with Stephanie and she is falling in love with him too. You are playing a role in that, I just know you are. I saw Donna, Chris's Mom and Jim his step-dad, what a nice man. Donna misses you and thanks God that she had the good fortune to get to know you and have you become such an integral part of her sons life. She thanks you. Chris & Steph are happy and they have a beautiful house and Maddie and Hailey are happier than I have ever seen them. Your pictures are all over their house and your spirit is there with all of them all the time. Maddie always asks about you and we talk...ya know...girl talk...she misses you too and wishes we could have tea parties again...but little does Chris know that he may have to fill your shoes in that department now. We have a new huge shed in the backyard now. It is actually called a lofted barn. Sure does hold alot of stuff. The dogs, especially Ninja are digging holes everywhere. I think Ninja is trying to find China. Why did you give him that name anyway?? He was buried so deep in a hole the other day we coudn't even see him. Radar was standing there barking at him. It was pretty funny. He is getting so big. 86 pounds. I gave them both a bath last takes a long time to wash both him and Radar now but they are the best of buddies and that includes Muddy too. He still goes after Pooh all the time and she just slaps the crap out of him. Good thing she doesn't have claws. He would be a mess. Dad took him to the vet today for his 3 year rabies vaccine and dog license. We were taking them for walks every night but it has been cold lately. We need to get back to that routine. He is so smart...just like Radar...the minute Dad gets up to put his shoes on they both know what is going down and we have to spell the word WALK or watchout. I love the dogs so much ..they give me comfort and I will take care of Ninja with all my tender loving care forEVAH !! I saw Jay the other day at Steph's house. He is good. He misses you and just wants all of our family to recover and do good. No one will ever forget are an angel. We all feel you guiding us in some way or another. I am trying hard to be happy...your brother Jeff is really trying to help me and I will never be able to express to him how much his support means to me. He is a great guy. We are a great is probably going to take us a long time to get back to normal...or at least I think it will for me but I guess we just have to. I wish over and over and over again that you just stayed home that dreadful night, but you had your reasons and I will just have to learn to accept what happened. When I walk at night with Dad I sing a song to you called LONESTAR. Jessica has mentioned it ...but it says it all. You are a LONESTAR now...but I believe you are the biggest and the brighest STAR that shines in the night sky and everynight I believe that you are looking down on me and all of our family, for now you are our Guardian Angel and we need you to do a new job. We need you to watch over each one of us and help keep us safe and protect us from harm. Just like the song says....I would give anything for you to shine down on me. Shine bright for all of us and perhaps that will help us to heal and be happy again. I love you with all of my heart and soul and although I am going to wake up each morning without will never be out of my memory or my concious thought. From the time you were a little tiny boy you always knew just how to pull on my don't stop now....don't ever stop. I will love and miss you every day of my life and each day I will give myself one quiet moment when I can feel your warm arms around me ...hugging me, just like you always did...that's what is going to keep me going. Please come to me in my dreams. I want to see you so much...I will ask for you everynight before I close my eyes and go to sleep and I know sooner or later you will be there for me to see you again. Hold on to my heartstrings and don't ever let them go. I love you with all of my heart and soul.

Your Loving Mother
February 03, 2006
It is so hard to believe that 2 months have gone by...without us seeing your smiling face. We all miss you so much.We will remember you always forever and a day.
We will be thinking of you Super Bowl Sunday I hope the Seahawks win it all. I just cannot stomach the thought of the Steelers winning it.
Jenn finally moved to North Carolina.She is starting her new military life. I am sure you will keep a watchful eye for me :-)
Come visit everyone in thier dreams alot of people are surely missing you.
Until the next time Jarrod- Peace out my friend :-)
With love
Eileen & family aka "mama"
January 29, 2006
Dear Jarrod,

Please help me !! Sometimes I feel like I am really losing it. I am so lost without you I just don't know what to do. Everybody is here for me and I love all of them for their love and support ...but right now it is yours that I need and I just can't have it anymore. I am having a very hard time trying to learn to accept that. I want to be a good wife and mother and aunt and all of those things to my family but it seems to be getting to be such a struggle. I go to work everyday...but most days I wish I could just stay under the covers with my head buried. Why did you leave us?? I know you didn't mean to. But, why didn't you listen? I tried to give you good loving motherly advice all the time. I was so afraid something you could or would do might hurt you and now look what happened. Now we are all without you trying to pick up pieces of our lives and yours. You said you would always be here for me....I just don't understand. I need you and now you are gone. I have you in my heart and I talk to you everyday...but I never get an answer. If you can hear me.....Oh GOD!!!! Please let Jarrod hear me...I need you to come to me and tell me that the rest of my life will be okay because yours now is...because you are under the comfort of God's blanket and he will guide and protect you....but what about me???? I don't know what to do without you. I have loved you with every piece of my heart since the day you were born and now you are gone and some of my heart has died with you. I am trying so hard to be loving and good and kind to people in our family that need me because I believe that if you were here on Earth that is what you would be doing. Dad and Jeff don't want to see me cry anymore....but I need's my way of realizing the pain that is constantly building up inside of me to the point where it feels like it is going to burst. Work is hard...I don't know how I get through it everyday...I cry all the time...sometimes I don't think I gave myself enough time to recover from losing you. My head feels like it is spinning and I don't know which way to go. Then there are other times when I wish a big staircase would drop out of the sky and take me straight to Heaven and if I walked those stairs I would see you waiting for me at the top of them. Jarrod, Please send me some kind of message...tell me what to said you would always be here for me and now you are gone. I miss you with all of my heart and I need to see you in my dreams. I need to know that you are okay...otherwise I think I am heading down a road to where the crazy people live and I don't want to go there. Please help me. I love you with all of my heart and soul. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go. God Bless You My Darling Son...each day I live without you is the most agonizing days of my life. Please come to me in my dreams.

Your Loving Mother
January 27, 2006
Hey Cous!!
I miss you dearly, as everyone else does. I am always thinking of you and seeing your smiling face sitting above my fridge. Ech time I look at your picture, tears come to my eyes, and a "THANK YOU" from my heart. It is hard for me to think of losing you when I have your belongings in my new home. Every night I lay in bed and hold your comforter in my arms and so close to my heart, I just wish I could have you instead of something to replace you. Jen is down here with Bobby and the girls, they are staying with me as of tomorrow for a few days. Maddie is making a wish upon a star tonight for you, and Loves you with all her heart, and loves you too much for you to be in heaven. May the angels give you guidance and light and look out for all of your family that misses you and loves you dearly
All my love, Your cousin
January 26, 2006
Dear Jarrod,

Hi Sweetheart...I have not written to you in six days and I feel so bad but you have been in my every thought every single day. When I wrote last Friday on the 20th I was telling you how difficult it has been without you for the last seven weeks...well, now it is almost eight and it is not one bit easier. That night the 20th, Jess flew in to surprise me. She thought it would be good for all of us to be together but she came to take me out for a Mother/Daughter Escape from Reality Day. It was a beautiful thing that she did and we had a wonderful time together but you were with us every step of the way. Jess took me to a salon to get a facial (she said I needed one to help with my cry wrinkles) and I got my hair hi-lited and trimmed. She got a facial too, to help with her cry wrinkles and a pedicure...ya know...things girls like to do...anyway it was fun. Then we had lunch and went shopping. It was meant to be a stress reliever for me and for a while it was but I am so stressed out I just don't know what to do. I miss you so much...I wish every day with all my heart and soul that you would just walk through the front door like you always did. Mornings are so hard because I want you to be here with all the other boys and you are not. I wish with all my might that you would just put your arms around me again and hug me and tell me that you love me just one more time. If I could just hear you say "I love you Ma". I hear it in my head all the time but right now it is just not enough. I went to my friend Connie's church on Sunday with Jess and Maddie. It was a beautiful church but the service was a little different from what I am used to . All in all though it was a House of God and I prayed for you as I do everyday and I sang all the beautiful songs hoping that you could hear me because I was singing them to you. Can you hear me? If so, listen to all these words that come straight from my heart....My life will never be the same without you. When you died a piece of me died too. After church on Sunday we watched football per usual and I am sure you know that the Steelers and the Seahwaks are in the Superbowl. We all believe that you would want to see the Seahawks win so that is who we will be rooting for. We know that you hated the Steelers and that mean face of Bill Cowher. Jess left on Monday morning to go home so her visit was too short but it was sweet and most appreciated. She loves you so much and everyday is a very hard day for her. She can't believe same as me that you are not here in our lives to grow old with. You will always be in our hearts and in our sight and in our memories but not having you with us is incredibly painful and extremely hard to bear. Stephanie is so happy and you have and are still playing a huge part in that picture. I believe that you are guiding me to protect her and guide her in the right direction to joy and happiness once and for all. Madelynne and Hailey are happy too. And your very special friend and we both know who it is has contributed to this picture in an amazing way with outstreched arms and a wide open heart. Kindness and love are just overflowing. There are words in a song that has a big impact on Stephanies life and I want to tell it to you, and it goes like this:
Yesterday is History and History is miles leave it all behind you...let it always remind you of the day ...the day that LOVE made History.
These words have impacted Stephanie and her childrens and we know who else's life and it is wonderful. I haven't seen such happiness in a long time. I hope that you can look down from Heaven and see it too. Thank you Jarrod for bringing your wonderful friend into our lives. Now that Stephanie lives in Riverview, I finally have some female companionship. You wanted that for me for a long time. I guess everything works out for a reason, but I never want to think that the good that has come to some members of this family has come at the loss of you. I believe you will be with us all forever and we have so much to be thankful for. Thank you for making me laugh, and smile, and love my home and learn to love Florida and be tough enough to stick it out and stay here because I am happy here. Thank you for being the most wonderful son a mother could ever ask for. I wish if God could really answer a prayer for me that he would give you back to me, but I know He has called you for a greater mission and I will have to accept that as hard as it is. I have only had one quick glimpse of you in my dreams since you left us. Please come to me in my dreams and tell me that you are okay and happy. I would probably be able to rest just a little bit easier. I love you my Darling with every breath of life I take and when the time comes that I cannot take another I know then that we will be together again. Until then...Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go. When Dad and I walk Radar and Ninja tonight I will be looking for your STAR...send a little TWINKLE my way.

Your Loving Mother
January 20, 2006
Hi Sweetheart,

It's me Ma. Loving you and missing you like crazy. Everyday starts off bad. I wake up and thoughts of you flood into my mind...thoughts of you not being here with us and I just start to cry. Tears that could form rivers and lakes....not streams. Tomorrow will be seven weeks...the worst seven weeks of my life. I don't know how I have survived. Days are empty and don't really seem to be getting any better. I miss you so much. I look at your pictures all the time and see your beautiful smiling face...that big happy go lucky smile...same one you had from the time you were a little boy...but it is only a picture. I'm glad I have them...I have thousands...but I don't have you. Why did you leave us? Is it so much better up in Heaven? I hope you are happy and I hope that as time passes we will all find happiness too. Steph and the girls have moved to Riverview now and they have a new friend and I know you know who it is....she is happy and I believe she wants a new beginning to her life. Your love has given me the strength to help her and I feel you spiritually telling me that it is the right thing to do. I believe that when she came in Septemeber you had another plan in mind for her. Did you? Well, if you did it seems to have worked. Your other sister, Sarah..just found out that her and Chuck are having a baby girl in you will be an uncle again...and Riley just turned two the day after your birthday. Oh, how I wish you were still here to be with all of us. I so wanted you to get married someday and have children. You would have been a wonderful father. But...that is History now and there is nothing anyone, me or anybody else can do about it. Did you hear me and Madelynne sing you Happy Birthday the other night. She asks me questions (at least 30 everyday) about you and wants to know why my heart hurts so bad. I just tell her it is because I love you so much and we can't see you anymore and that you have to stay with God and the Angels now, but she wants you to come back just as bad as me and everyone else. Jason left for Alabama on Sunday...he came to say Good-Bye and we cried. He will always keep you in his heart and miss you, and he promised to keep in touch. Chad called on your birthday to talk to me and Dad...we both thought that was very special. Please ask God to watch out for me...I don't always feel too strong and many a day I feel like a little lost soul. Everynight when Dad and I take Ninja and Radar walking I look up at the sky to try and find your Star....the brightest one!!! I sing to you as we walk along and hope that you can hear me. I love you with all of my being. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go.

Your Loving Mother
January 18, 2006
Uncle Jarrod,
yesterday was your birthday, so I love you very much. Happy Birthday!
You got in an accident, and got hurt really bad. I am upset. I love you very much, and the way you give me kisses. I like when you do tea parties with me, and stick your pinky out. So now you are with the angels, looking out for all of us, especially mommy, me and hailey. We thank you. Uncle Jarrod, I miss swimming in the pool with you, and climbing on your back.
I like the way you pushed me on the swing, and I do not like you being with the Angels, I want you down here with us.
Your Loving Neice
January 18, 2006
Happy Birthday Jarrod - I'm so glad I sold your parents their house and in turn, got to know your personality a little bit. I miss seeing you at Cherry's and having a beer together and listening to your 'women' stories.
It's always nice when a young guy flirts with an older, married lady!
I know your parents and siblings
love and miss you dearly. I lost my brother in a motorcycle accident when I was 18 and he was 27. While it was a long time ago, I still remember it like it was yesterday and understand how much everyone misses you! I know you are truly loved and at peace now.
God bless all of you.
January 18, 2006
Dear Jarrod,
I wrote this last night in my book at home....
Happy Birthday Big Brother. I hope you are enjoying your day. I know I would be enjoying it much more if you were here with your family, if I could call you and wish you a Happy Birthday and if I could buy you a present (maybe another one of the Patriots cars you collected) - but I can't do any of that. I just hope you can hear it when I say Happy Birthday to you. You know I was thinking that today is the first year on your birthday that it didn't snow in New England. Must be a sign - all those years of you not wanting snow on your birthday - you finally have it. I just we had you here with us. I love you and miss you terribly. I would do anything to bring you back to me and our family.
All my love forever and ever,
Your baby sis.
January 17, 2006
Dear Jarrod,
Hey cous!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!It's 10:35 P.M. and all day I have been thinking of you and I, since we were little kids. We were the "black sheep" of our family, the ones always getting into trouble, or being the "smart", we were TWO of a kind. My friend we've had the "Good, the bad and the ugly". You were my brother, my friend, my partner in crime, my enemy, some one that will never be replaced. Today my memories of you have brought tears to my eyes, along with some happiness. I just looked through an album of us, what were our parents thinking putting us in those funny looking clothes. And the hair cuts, the poses, and of course your grin almost the same in every page. When I look back to being "Roomies" I can still see you pinning me on the floor until I couldn't breathe, just so I would say "I want Pork Fried Rice". I just heard one of your songs the other day "Boot Scoot Boogie", it made me think of another of your all time favorites: The Devil went back to Georgia. Remeber dancing around like idiots???
Well, today was not an easy day, and I don't think you missed too much, but just incase you did, I'll fill you in.
Your mom, Chris and I have figured out the message you were sending to us. Your mom and dad have been so helpful with bringing happiness into my life, and making me see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that there is a happy ending after all.
When I came to Florida on Sept. 27th 2005, you brought someone very special to me the next day, I did not know it then, but I certainly do know,and I want to thank you, I knew there was always my "cous" looking out for me.
Back in the day of moving out of moms' and in with you whether it was Swansea, MA, or Quincy, MA --you always made sure that the fellow I may have dated, was up to your standards. Well..... this time you spoke to me and I finally heard you. I am glad for the road I let my life travel, for I would not have what I have today, THANK YOU FOR BLESSING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jarrod, we have thousands and thousand of memories, some you and I will only have -so- from the dawn of every day to the set of every night, you are in my thoughts, prayers, and especially my heart. Again, I want to thank you for the gift you have given to me.
Maddie misses you so much, and asks for you all the time, she has made you come cards, and has a few things she would like to say to you tomorrow. I know most of all she misses you being her playmate and having tea parties with her. She was your first niece, that I am thankful for, because she wes able to spend five wonderful years in your life. In her five years you have given her much to love and remember you for. You will always be in her heart and mind.
Your mom and Maddie sang you "Happy Birhtday", did u hear them??
Thanks for being my guiding light, I knew you would always be here for me.
Until next time Cous!!!

All my love,
Your loving Cousin
January 17, 2006
I knew Jared becuase of my mom who was good friends with him .. and hed come to my house to watch football games before with the gang ..always smiling .. when the accident happened i didnt understand alot about it.. why my mom was so hysterical and now reading all this makes me realize what a wonderful person he must of been and still is up there... I really do wish his family the best.. and happy birthday jared!!
January 17, 2006
January 17, 2006
Dear Uncle Jarrod,
This is being dictated word for word by Jen from his goddaughter and niece Alexis.
Thank you for the Patriots shirt, Sadies Red Sox shirt and pants. And thank you for eating dinner with us. And thank you for playing with me and Sadie. I love you, Jarrod. Thank you for playing with Mommy and De-og and for calling de-og "de-og puppins". Maybe Jarrod will hear this up in the sky. Thank you for playing with Baxi too. Thank you for going to the Patriots game with Daddy. I am drawing a picture for you tommorow morning and a card and I will send it up to you with a envelope, and I remember how to write your name. Thank you for going outside and playing with me. I don't want to write Happy Birthday to you but I will sing it to you now. Maybe he can hear it. Sadie is singing too.Thank you for having so much fun with me and Sadie.I miss you and I love you. You will give me lots of money from the toothfairy and I will wake up for you. What is the Angels phone number? I am all done.
Love, Sadie Rose
January 17, 2006
To all Jarrods family & friends this is the speach Bobby and I wrote and read on December 10, 2005 at Jarrods memorial service on Cape Cod.
It goes like this...
Thank you all for coming today. This is from myself and my wife Jen.
For those of you that don't know Jen and Jarrod's mothers are sisters and their fathers are brothers which basically gives them the same DNA. Their bond was more of a brother and sister than of a cousin. Jen has many memories of Jarrod but a few stick out like the days when they played in his back yard in Braintree watching him climb to the tallest thinnest lilac tree he could find and hoping that he wouldn't fall.
Going to the rink to watch his hockey games and listening to his mother Karen scream "GO HAWK" at the top of her lungs.
We both remember the days of Bugsy Beats which was his Disc Jockey name. Going to the spinning contests with his parents praying that the night would soon end because techno music was almost too much to bear, but we stayed cheering him on, despite the pounding headaches.
July 4th 1997 he introduced us to eachother not knowing that we would eventually get married and that he would be the Best Man in our wedding.
Jen feels in her heart that Jarrod gave her the best gift of all me and now we have two beautiful girls Alexis & Sadie, AKA little Jarrod. Since Sadie was a little baby she has reminded us so much of him. She is skinny and wirey, has a devious smile, a crazy little laugh and is completely fearless. It must be the D.N.A....we will forever be watching her like a "HAWK".
We remember the day he left for Florida to start his new life we thought he would soon be back. But he surprised us all, he started a business and invited his parents to join him which soon became Screen Solutions. We were so proud of who be had become and what he had accomplished. We knew then his home was now in Florida, but no matter the distance we would always remain close.
Jarrod was just here a few weeks ago and he went to his first Patriots game with me. He was so excited you would have though he won the lottery!
Jarrod was the most alive, vibrant full of life individual we have ever met. He was the life of the party. No matter what having fun was a priority. We fell blessed to have so many wonderful memories of him to hold in our hearts.
Jarrod was our cousin, one of our best friends, the best man in our wedding, Alexis' godfather and now our gaurdian angel.
Jarrod had enough love in his heart to fill this entire room. Please try to feel that love and know that he is now in peace, And heaven just go a little more exciting!
With our eternal love, you will never be forgotten and always remain in our hearts.
Jen, Bobby, Alexis, Sadie, De-og and Baxi.
Happy Birthday J-ROD
May you rest in peace...
January 17, 2006
Happy Birthday my friend. You should be here. Not up there to celebrate your 31st bday.We all miss you so much especially your family. Please go and see them in thier dreams they need to know that you are happy & okay.You have a very strong family that love & miss you alot- more than anyone will ever know. You were thier heart & soul Jarrod. Now your new destiny is to be the family's guardian angel until you all meet again.Your smiling face is so sorely missed.
This will be a very long & emotional day for your family. I truly want them to know I feel thier pain & anguish.My heart goes out to everyone. I will always be there for your family Jarrod no matter what.
So I see that Chris finally caught on well he had a good mentor :-) Now he might have found his true soul mate thanks to you :-) I am sure you are looking down from heaven with that big huge grin of yours ...saying YES!!!
Have a great Bday party up there teach those other angels how to do the "Humpty" :-) I certainly learned how thanks to you & Chris.I will never EVAH forget you my friend you will always be with us all. Thanks for the memories until the next time -Peace Love & Happiness
With love Eileen aka"Mama"
January 17, 2006
To My Darling Son Jarrod,

Today is your Birthday...Happy Birthday Sweetheart you were born at exactly 9:00 a.m.....I Love you so much. Every word of this letter I write is almost too much to bear. Thirty wonderful years we had you in our, fantastic years....but what happened to 31? I just don't understand. Why aren't you here to celebrate your birthday with us. I want you and need you in my life. There are times when I feel like I don't know if I can get thru another day.I know you are with me, perhaps looking down on me every minute and if you are I know you can see me crying. I'm crying because I wish that maybe one thing I could have said or did would have made you just a little less fearless or a little less reckless and maybe you would still be here with us. I needed to be at home today to feel the love of our family around me and to be with your personal belongings and Ninja, not to mention that I really felt sick when I got up this morning. There are days when emptiness takes over me and I just don't know how to escape it. I feel like I should be making lasagna today, and I might...but I just can't give you the biggest piece and that will hurt so much. You set many goals for yourself and you accomplished them, and for that we, your family are very proud of you...but there is so much now that will never be and I am having a very hard time trying to accept the fact that all of that "so much" is never going to happen. I remember when you were a little boy and you told me you didn't want your birthday to be on January 17th because it was in the middle of winter and it always snowed really hard and there were always hockey games or tournaments that got in the way. You said you wanted it to be half birthdays which put it right on mine July 17th, so now we will celebrate then too....but perhaps the last few birthdays you had were really great for you because you were away from the snow and the cold and you were here in sunny Florida exactly where you wanted to be. Because in your own truly became a "tropical peoples". Well, today it is a beautiful sunny day and you would love it if you were still here with us, so I will try my best to enjoy it too.
I have something really special I need to share with you...awhile back I told you in a letter that I was asking for something special and if dreams really did come true I would tell you more....Well...Now I can tell.

Jarrod, I wrote a letter to Bob Kraft of the New England Patriots (I know you know that) and I told him of your passing and what a devoted football fan you are of the Patriots. I asked him to send me an autographed football for you in your memory and I told him if he did it would stay in my tender loving care all the days of my life. Well, he sent it. An autographed football that has the signatures of Tom Brady, Adam Viniaiteri and Richard Seymour. He also sent a 2005 team photo and he sent a beautiful letter. I did it for you because I knew in my heart that you always wanted a New England Patriots Football...and now you have one. I will love it and take care of it for all the days of my life. I received it on Friday...the 13th of January just in time for your birthday. I love you and miss you so much Darling.... I hope you are happy and surrounded by people that are loving you. Please come to me in my dreams. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and Don't ever let them go. I Love you with all of my being. I will write again later tonight.

Your Loving Mother
January 17, 2006
Happy Birthday to you.. Althought you never made it to 31 actual years you did, including the time spent in your mom's belly! And let me tell you from my own experiences that 10 months is a LONG time.
I wish you were here to celebrate your special day and so that we could call you and sing to you with our great voices! I always thought you would be here forever, I guess I always thought of you as were in you own sort of way. I hope you are happy in the heavens above and that your doing all the things you didn't get to do down here. I don't think there is much you didn't do.
We were with Tom and Keeley last night and we were all talking about everything and the way they already think of Sadie is "fearless" just like you. Its funny how much she reminds us of you, you know that though. You saw if for yourself on your last visit.
I hope you are enjoying you birthday. We are all down here crying because we miss you so much but in our hearts we know you are happy and at peace. I love you and miss you. There is not a day that goes by that a tear doesn't fall from my eye. Sometimes its a happy tear but mostly its sad. I know it will get better in time.
Happy Birthday and I hope you enjoy every minute. I love you with all my heart.
January 13, 2006
Hey bro,It's me Chris,missing you galore!Anyway, I wanted to share a moment with you.....The other day, Tuesday, I was getting ready to roll screen just like you taught me,and Mike had to go do an estimate. We had just got done building the walls of a small non pool cage,and just got back from lunch.Mike said,"go ahead and screen the walls and when you are done,just call it a day."Well it was 1:37pm, and I asked mike,"hey, what would be a good amount of time for me to do all this?"he said "If you get it done by 4:00pm,I'll be impressed!"considering I am still not the fastest on screening.I said ok,no problem.300sq.ft 2hrs,no biggie! As I was ready to begin, I looked up at you and said"if your listening, help me out" I guess you were, because I banged that out by 3:00pm!!!!!!Thanks for your help! Mike was impressed!He said "what got into you?"I said "I had a little help!" so thank you again,because my slowass couldn't of done it without you! Remember I said we met for a reason?Thank you, I think i got your message loud and clear!Starts with a S,and ends with an E....See.........I got it!Anyway thank you so much,only you knew how I felt!Well as you predicted Ray and the boys didnt make the playoffs,not even close!So I now must go with my alma-mater,the red,white and blue for you bro...Go Patriots!!!!!!!!I love you bro and like Arnold would say,"I'll be back" So until next time....I'll talk to you soon brotherman! Love Always, Chris Bender
January 12, 2006
To My Beloved Son Jarrod,
The Love of My Life His Dad Mark, His Wonderful Brother Jeff,
and His Fabulous Sister Jessica.

It has been almost six weeks since Jarrod left us all here on Earth to go to a better place I pray, six long and angonizing weeks. Each one of us has felt and is dealing with tremendous loss and pain. I would not have survived a day without the tender love and care of Mark,Jeff,and Jessica. Jarrod, when you left us a hole opened up in our hearts that will never mend...but for me personally I feel as though I have lost a part of myself. I have tried to tell those who can understand that if I had to put it in words as I am doing now, it feels like the part of me that is missing is like that of a crystal ball and when you died it broke into a million pieces and now it feels that it will take me a million or more days to try and pick them all up and put them back together again. But then what will I do? It will not bring you back to me. Your bright and happy personality and your vibrant way of looking at life reminds me of a crystal ball. You had such strength and determination, a true zest for life and you made sure that you had fun every step of the way. All our lives growing up together we had fun and lots of it. Jarrod, I am so happy that you and Jeff got to spend the last year and a half of your lives together again, two brothers so close and so alike in so many ways yet so different. I know there was much love between you two and Jeff you have been a rock for me a tower of strength and a shoulder to cry on. Your warm and loving ways have helped me to endure the horrific pain of losing Jarrod. I feel the pain almost double-fold when I talk to Jessica because Jarrod, you along with Jeff were and are her big brothers...but you especially always made it known to everyone that you were her "bodyguard" and just about everyone had to go thru you to get to her. Jessica's heart is lonely and broken...she loves you so very much, and I know she feels lost without you. She knows that she can count on Jeff and he will always be there for her and she does have her wonderful husband Matt (thanks Jarrod) but her pain is felt in my heart all the way from Massachusetts to Florida. In the immediate days following your death there were many times when Jessica was the only one that seemed to be able to get thru to me. I thank you Jessica for your courage and your strength and your undying love...I am sure it was all part of the mother-daughter bond ...I just know I could not have done it without you. And although we all suffer and grieve in our own way I would not have been able to get from one minute to the next these past six weeks without you Mark. Jarrod, your Dad is a wonderful man, fantastic husband and a great father. He loves you with all of his heart as he does Jeff and Jessica but I know and I can feel that his heart is very broken and his pain is very deep, yet he has been there every minute for every one of us and he always has been. I love him very deeply with all my heart and soul and am grateful and thankful everyday day of my life that I have him here to share it with me. We all have always been there for each other. That is what has made us a great family...but now our family has this tremendous void, a horrible loss, a gigantic empty space that we can never ever again fill and I truly believe we are all struggling to find a way to go on and be happy. I pray more now than I ever have in my life. Please come to me in my dreams. We all just want to know that you are okay. That big beautiful smile that we all love and miss so much we need to see again. I know that we all will remember the joy that each of us brought to one anothers life and there were baskets full of joy and happiness. I think I can speak for us all and say that you are a very special person in this family, one we unfortunately have to live without now...but we will never forget you and your happy ways, your determination, your love of life and the fun you had living it everyday that you were here on Earth with us. I cannot thank my husband and son and daughter enough .....EVER....without them and their continuous and undying this point in my life I would be lost...Thank you all for keeping me close and loving and helping me endure this pain that has torn my heart apart. And to our family and many many friends, I Thank you all & love you too. Jarrod, God will watch over you and keep you safe until we call all be together again...until that time...Your family loves you eternally and will miss you forever. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and Please...Don't ever let them go. Come see me in my dreams. Goodnight My Darling Son. I Love you.

Your Loving Mother
January 12, 2006
To all who read Jarrod's guestbook,

I am his sister, Jessica. I love and miss Jarrod terribly. I believe this will be my final entry on his website as I would like to write more personal things in my own private book. But I did have one thing to add...... It's from a CD I have been listening to and I think the person who sings this is singing about someone she lost who she loves and care's for deeply...

Lone Star, where are you out tonight?
It's dark and I think that
I would give anything
For you to shine down on me
Shine down on me.

I love and miss him soooo much, it's painful. I wish that somenight soon he will pay me a visit in my dreams so I can see he is okay. Let us all remember him with that big beautiful smile, full of life personality and never let anything get in his way attitude. What a great, wonderful, loving person he has always been. I know with time the pain will get easier to bear, but always remember the good, happy things about him. The things that keep us all smiling and I'm sure laughing.

Til we meet again big brother.
All my love forever and ever.

Love Always,
Jessica a.k.a. your baby sis.
January 10, 2006
Jarrod & family I saw this a few weeks ago and I thought of you & your family & friends. I would like to share it with all of you.

We will always remember that special smile,that caring heart,that warm embrace you always gave us.
We will always remember you being there through good times & bad times no matter what.
We will always remember you,there will never be anyone to replace you in our hearts and the love we will always have for you.

When the stars shine brightly at night we know it is you,when the sun's rays reach through the clouds we know it is you. The rainbow that appears after the rain is you too.

We also know you were the Pat's "Angel in the Endzone" The Pats need to 3PEAT !!! We all know you will be there.
Please go to your family & friends in thier dreams as they all miss you so much.
With love always "Mama" aka Eileen
January 09, 2006
Dear Karen,Mark,Jeff,and Jessica,
Your family has been my family for almost 23 years losing Jarrod was like losing my own brother. No words will ever be enough comfort, only time can mend our broken hearts.Jarrod was a pistol and that keeps me smiling every time I think of him.Gee, I think back now and appreciate all the times he beat me and jess up!! I hope you all know that he is in my prayers and thoughts. Ironically not one of you has had a dream about him but i have twice and every time he has been smiling..of course.He never talked to me but was just maybe he wants me to tell you all that he is happy and at peace. I will leave you all with that thought.

i love you all,
sarah redman
January 08, 2006
With Great Pride and Honor I am Entering this Beautiful Message that was written to My Son from his Good Friend and Roommate and read at his Memorial Service here in Florida on December 7th, 2005
Thank You Chris for allowing me to enter this most beautiful message.
All My Love.............Karen

To My Dearest Friend:
Jarrod Matthew Bourget
(One Man I'll Never Forget)

A man who touched so many people in so many ways. Whether it was making you laugh or making you cry. He would find a way to get some kind of expression out of you. Nobody was ever invisible around him. He could take a wallflower and give them life, just by talking to them. Jarrod was kind of like a big brother that I've never had, and a best friend all at the same time for me. He always knew how to have fun, and also made sure I was doing the right thing, even when we weren't. I've never been so close to someone in so little time. Jarrod could always make me laugh or smile, no matter how down I was or whatever kind of mood I was in. That's just the kind of guy he was. A real saint and a great friend. But now he's in a better place, and I'll forever miss him. So Jarrod, I guess this is it for now. We met the first time for a reason, and yes someday we will meet again. I love you brother. Take care of those ladies up in Heaven. Good Bye My Friend.............Chris Bender
January 08, 2006
Hi Sweetheart,

It's me Ma! Today we had the enjoyment of having Chris over for a part of the day. He is a really great guy. I know why you liked him so much and why you and him became such good friends and roommates in such a short period of time. He looks great and is doing real well. He stayed and had dinner with Dad and I and we watched some of the Cincinnati/Pittsburgh Game. Well, now we know that on Saturday night we will be going to Denver to play the Broncos. No problem...we will win for sure...#1 is Bill Belichek never loses to the same team twice (so says Dad) and #2 they have you as their Guardian Angel in the there is nothing to worry about. Dad and Jeff went mountain biking today at Balm Boyette and I just ran a couple errands and played with my boys, Radar & Ninja....Dad and I will be taking them for a walk soon. Chris has a new car, a jetta...he says he likes it. I was really happy to see him and I told him not to be a stranger. I think in a little time I will call his Mom and maybe her and I can meet for lunch or something. Anyways, I am going to follow this lovenote with the beautiful message Chris wrote to you at your memorial service here in Florida. We talked about me putting it in your guestbook and he said that would be fine so it will be there soon. I will be praying tonight that you come back to me in my dreams. The days really don't seem to be getting any easier although they might be. I just know that I can't stop thinking about you and I miss you with all of my heart. I wish you were here with me so I could give you a great big hug & kiss. I love you with all of my being. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings

Your Loving Mother
January 07, 2006
Dear Jarrod,
Today is 5 weeks and it still isn't any easier. Evertyime I think of you I cry I wonder if it will ever stop. I think of all the fun things we did teogher and how crazy you were! I laugh at the time you invited the ENTIRE bar back to Bobby and my house in Hyannis for an after party. I was so mad at you, but years later it became a big joke! I loved to go out clubbing with you and tearing up the dance floor. I still wonder where you got all you soul from, you could dance all day and night, you always had so much fun. You were the spotlight on the dance floor all eyes were on you. Although your natural scent was almost too much to bear by the end of the night!!! Deodorant would have worked! Another joke of ours in my memory forever! The stories of us could go on all night but I can't think of any more right now. When another pops into my head I will write again. I love you and miss you so. Bobby is over at Tom Rigos watching the Pats game tonight, your passing has rekindeled their friendship. I am sure you already know that though.
Sending you my eternal love,
January 07, 2006
Hi Karen and Mark:

We just wanted to express our deepest sympathies and for your family's loss. Jarrod was a wonderful person with a very bright personality. It is hard to grasp that we will no longer see him when we look across the street. Know that we are just across the street if ever you need to vent, laugh or just talk about nothing.

Lovingly Submitted,
January 06, 2006
Dear Mark & Karen, my heart goes out for the two of you it's hard to lose a love one.We are not suppose to out live our children just keep praying. I know that I can't say any thing to ease the pain. God bless your family.
January 04, 2006
Hi Sweetheart,

I am really edgy tonight and I guess I just need to talk to you. Whenever I was uptight about things I could always call you and you would listen or come over and we would talk. I miss talking to you so much. There were times when neither of us really wanted to hear what the other had to say because it wasn't what we wanted to hear but we listened anyway. That's why we were so great together. We could pretty much tell each other anything, althougth sometimes I had to stop you and sometimes you told me you did not want to hear it either. I appreciated it then and I appreciate and miss it more than ever now. I remember once when you came to me and told me you had a problem with two girls that you liked and you couldn't make up your mind which one you wanted to keep as your girlfriend. You were about twelve at the time. I asked you why it was a problem and you told me it was because you liked them both but they were cousins and you didn't know which one you should "dump" (oh, what an awful word) but I laughed out loud and I thought to myself oh boy, what a Cassanova I got on my hands. We talked for a bit and you eventually decided that you would forget about both and find somebody better. And do you know what....there were a couple of times you found true gems as you got older. You brought two of the most beautiful girls into our lives that we could ever ask to meet and share our family with and I will speak of both of them with love and pride. I say that because I believe in my heart at different times in your life that you really and truly loved both of these beautiful young ladies. Michelle, a free loving beautiful and spiritual darling. Positively gorgeous, tiny, petite, milk white skin, big beautiful brown eyes, long brown hair, soft spoken, gentle, kind, funny, cautious, caring, a belly-dancer....dancing gypsy fire...your soul mate...She was your LadyBug and you were her Bugsy. What a wonderful relationship you two shared. I am so happy you had such a beautiful girl in your life but that was a long time ago and you were both still fairly young....and then there was Devi...a bright, beautiful, vivacious, ambitious, fun-loving, big-hearted Angel with big brown eyes that sparkled and twinkled everytime she talked...especially of you, petite and sexy, dressed to perfection all the time, beautiful shiny brown hair, and she had an adorable chuckle everytime she laughed...and you made her laugh alot. You made her happy. She brought out the good in you and I know that you loved her...your soul-mate. She was sweet and romantic and so sincere. Her love was always overflowing...and lets not forget Meliah...that little pooch loved you so much. Her and Ninja would have gotten along just great. I am so glad that you had Devi in your life. She made a difference and I could see it all the time. We don't always get exactly what we want but you did have the good fortune of spending some wonderful moments in time with two really beautiful and special women and I hope that I can always keep in touch with them in some way or another. They are both very special to me because of the love that they shared with you and I would like to stay in touch with them for as long as is possible. I believe they both miss you greatly. I am glad tonight that I could write about something that made both you and me happy. We had wonderful times together and as the days pass all of those times will come to mind and I will write more and more. I need you to know that I can't stop thinking about you. I feel you all around me and I know that you are watching. Understand when I am sad....I am just trying to adjust to life without you and it is very very hard. Earlier today your sister asked for some sweet dreams...I could use a few myself. Please come to me and make me smile....let me know that you are okay and happy. I love you so much. Perhaps tomorrow will be just one little bit easier, I will pray tonight and ask God to help heal my broken heart. I only wish I had you here so that I could give you a hug. Come to me in my dreams. I love you with all of my heart and soul.
Hold on extra tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go.

Your Loving Mother
January 04, 2006
I was very close to Jarrod for a year, it was a very happy year in my life. I loved him and I know he loved me, so there will always be a void in my heart for his loss. I am sending my deepest sympathies to his family and friends. He was an amazing person who will be thought after for years and years to come. Jarrod- I will always miss you.
Love, Devi
January 04, 2006
Dear Jarrod,
Last night I was thinking about you being gone and wether or not I believe it. I guess I believe it but I think I'm in denial still. I feel like since I didn't see you everyday it's hard to accept that your gone. But I think there will be a day when I pick up the phone to call you and realize I can't. Even though I didn't see you all the time over the past four years, there is no one who knew me as long as you and as well as you besides our immediate family. I can't beleive that one of four people in my life who know me best over the past 28 years is gone, it hurts so much. I told Matt the other night how I got to see you four times in 2005 - May, July, October and November. I also said it wasn't enough time with you. Matt told me everyday wouldn't have been enough. I know he's right, but I still wish I saw you everyday. I was also thinking last night that 2 weeks from now you would be turning 31 if you were still here. It's going to be hard not buying you a birthday present, calling you to say Happy Birthday and I love you. I know that day is going to be so hard for so many people, especially Mom, Dad, Jeff and me. Everyday I wish so much that I could see you again, I know I can't, so please come see me in my dreams. Since you passed I have not had one dream, I used to dream a lot and now - nothing. Come visit me, give me some sweet dreams. I miss you and love you dearly.
Love Forever Big Brother,
Your Baby Sis.
January 03, 2006
Mark & Karen,
I'm so sorry to hear of your lost, you and family are in our prayers.
Hope things get better with time, but not sure how one gets over the lost of child. Hope to see you soon.

Anne & Denny Muehlstedt
January 03, 2006
Hi Darling,

It's me again, Ma. December 3, 2005...January 3, 2006 exactly one month to the day....feels like forever. I hoped this day would never come...because I never wanted to be away from you this long. Why is it that eternity is so long??? I wonder when we will ever see each other again?? I have been hoping and praying every night that you will come to me in my dreams ...but so far you have not. Are you having too much fun up in Heaven?? When I close my eyes and pray which I do now more than I ever have ....I pray that you are happy and that God will watch over you and keep his Loving arms around you until I get there to put my Loving arms around you. I was disappointed that the Patriots didn't win. What happened??? Were you taking a nap or something???? We all have to get geared up for the game on Saturday against the Jags....but I'm not worried I know we will beat them....YOU just do your job and be their Angel in the EndZone and everything will be GREAT!! I will be wearing your Bruschi shirt for sure...besides when I wear it...I feel all that much more close to you. Oh, Honey....I wish with all my heart that I could have made time stand still one month ago. I don't even want to go on without you somedays. God will help me find the strength and so will you. I love your father, brother, and sister very much and they all need me too. We all just wish that you were here with us. I have to say it is not a very happy new year but we will keep our chins up. Until later on....when I write again.
Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go. I love you with all of my being.

Your Loving Mother
January 03, 2006
Dearest Mark and Karen,
I am so so sorry. I just got your email. Words cannot describe. I send all my love to you. I am so so sorry. You’re both in my heart and if you need anything please call on me.

Mike Galvin
January 03, 2006
Hi Jarrod,
So today is exactly one month to the date since we lost you. It's seems to be a pretty tough day for me. I hope this doesn't sound bad, but at work I try to block it out of my mind for the day, so I can accomplish my tasks at work and have a pretty good day. This weekend wasn't easy. We didn't do much to celebrate the New Year since there really isn't much to be happy about. I do know one thing (or hope I know one thing), that is 2006 should def. be better than 2005. I hope you had a great New Years up in Heaven, I know if there was a party going on, you were there. I am having something done for Mom and Dad - I should have it in a couple of weeks - I think they will like it. I know I will like mine! It's a surprise so that's all I can say about that. I miss you so much, I wish everyday I could see you again. I know it will get easier - I just wonder when???

Love Forever Big Brother,
Your baby sis.....XOXOXOXOXO
January 02, 2006

December 31, 2005
New Years Eve...............

Hi's me Ma
My Precious Son......I love you so much. Nothing to celebrate that's for sure. There are fire crackers going off everywhere and Radar and Ninja are barking like crazy....well, you know...Florida the Fireworks Capital. If you were here with us I am sure we would be shooting them off too. It will be a very quiet night...perhaps a little later Dad & I will take the boys for a walk. Your family is tired. The past two days we have been emptying and cleaning your house out. Dad, Jeff, John, and Shelby did most of it. All of the furniture and stuff. Today I was there to help pick up and clean. It was very difficult to work our way thru that house which once was your beautiful home, that held all things that were special to you and to pick them up and pack them away. Almost everything is either here of at Jeff & Shelby's or at Uncle John's . Some stuff had to be disposed of...but most of it is here with us. As time goes by I will sort through things and make a decision as to what will need to be done. Dad and I just cannot do that now. When the house was empty I was on my hands and knees cleaning, wiping up the living room tile floor and I was crying....(just like I am doing now) well anyway, Dad had to make me stop. I just didn't want to leave .....knowing I would never go there again....because it is no more. I promise you, I will do my very best to take care of everything of yours because what was yours is now ours. I'm sitting here and I'm wondering what you might be doing? I'm actually wondering what am I doing because somwetimes I really just don't know. Four weeks ago today my life got shattered. I am trying to pick up the pieces and go on...but it is so hard knowing that for the rest of my life I will have to go on without you. I love and adore you so much. You made my life fun. Testing my patience from the time you could walk and talk. All of our family is quiet tonight. I think we are all reflecting on your life and trying to remember all of the good good times we had and there were so so many. When I wake up tomorrow, it will be a brand New Year...2006....but the same sadness will still be with me. I really don't want people to wish me Happy New Year because right now I feel really far from happy. If I could only turn back would be to December 2nd and I wouldn't let it go another minute forward, unfortunately I don't have that power. God called you for a reason...I don't know what that reason is right now but perhaps someday with lots of prayer and patience I will find it. When you look down on me from Heaven don't be angry 'cause you might see me crying...just know that I am crying because it hurts me to know I will not have your presence in my life again. I will always have your love, I will always hear your voice, I will always feel your tender arms around me when we hugged, I will always see you dancing and acting like the fun and crazy guy that you are and I will always hear you cheering on the Patriots and see you doing the "infamous Boston Crab".....yeah man!!!.....but most of all I will hold you in my heart as I know that I am in yours and you My Darling Son will stay there forever. I can't believe that I am heading into a New Year without you. I don't want to....but I will. We all love you so much, Me, Dad, Jeffrey, Jess & Matt, Uncle John, Shelby & Jessica, Jen & Bobby, Alexis & Sadie, Stephanie & Joe, Madelynne & Hailey, Donna & Ricky, Aunt Karen & John & Uncle John White , Grandma & Granpa, Uncle Andyall of our friends and neighbors and yours,and of course your very best friends...Ninja, Radar and Muddy. Keep us always in your heart as you are in all of ours. If there is a party in Heaven tonight...have a good time and I know you will be safe....I am sure you have found plenty of cool friends to be with and loved ones too. From Earth to Heaven ......Happy New Years Darling.
I love you with all my heart and soul forever and ever.
Hold on tight to my Heartstrings.

Your Loving Mother
December 31, 2005
Dear Jarrod,
It feels like yesterday since I got the devastating call from your Mom about your accident. I can't believe its been four weeks. I don't know if thats good or bad. Am I still in denial? Probably.
I am so thankful that I got to see you one last time if only there was one more time.
I couldn't sleep last night,its probably because its been 4 weeks and that has been on my mind for the past few days.
It's New Years Eve and it doesn't feel like there is much to celebrate but there is......
The girls had a blast on Christmas they got everything they wanted and more, you can only imagine. I started shopping in July! Can't help it :) The look on their faces everytime they opened a gift was priceless. I am sure you were watching from Heaven.
I am collecting donations to make a memorial for you at Town Neck Beach so that everyone can come to "visit" you. I am hoping we can get about 8 or 10 boards, there's so much to tell~say about you!
Everytime I write to you I think it will get a little easier and I hope it does.I miss you so much.
When we put up and down our Christmas Tree I put the glass ornament you gave me up at the very top of the tree so that the girls couldn't break it! I remember the year you bought those for everyone, you were working at People's Pottery. I will cherish that for ever, along with my addidas socks you gave me. Yes I still have them and believe it or not at five or so years old, they still do not have holes! No wonder why you LOVE adidas so much! You are probably sporting some new shell toes up there, showing everyone how to dress! You always had good taste.
Happy New Years all my love,
Jen Bobby & The Girls XOXOXO
December 31, 2005
Karen & Mark,

We are so deeply saddened to hear about your loss of Jarrod. We wanted to let you know we are here for you and hope you find some comfort in knowing we are thinking of you.
December 31, 2005
Karen & Mark We are so deeply saddened to hear about your loss of Jarrod. We wanted to let you know we are here for you. Please tacke comfort in knowing we are thinking of you.
December 30, 2005
Karen, Mark and Family

Nancy, Byron and I are so sorry for you loss!!
We know that thoughts and words from friends and loved ones can help serve as a distraction from the grief you must feel. Hopefully the thoughts and words in this guest book will help you just a little. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers, and any time you feel like you want to talk, you can always give us a call.

We love you and miss you!
December 30, 2005
Mark and Karen:
Paul Juster just called me and told me about your devasting loss. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you have been enduring. I wish that I could find the right words to say but anything that I think of just doesn't seem to be enough. Pat and I extend our deepest sympathies to you and your family. Take Care
December 30, 2005
Dear Jarrod,

Tomorrow will be 4 weeks. It feels like its been forever. Sometimes I wonder how the time will go by faster and when the pain will get lighter to bear. Time will only tell I guess.
Last night I watched some pieces of my wedding video - yes I cried. There are two parts that are my favorite and I could watch them over and over again. The last song of the night was "Jump Around" by House of Pain. We wanted to go out with a bang - we did! During that song - the whole time I was jumping up and down and dancing, I was right next to you(matt, mom, some of the girls were in the mix too). At one point you and I are rapping to each other (i'm not much of a rapper myself, but you had it down). The other favorite part of mine is the very end of the video. You have your arm around Matt's Uncle Chris, Robbie has the video camera on you two and you say to the camera "Yo yo, this is my new uncle" Then you look at Chris (with that funny smile) and say "what's your name?" followed by the signature Jarrod laugh we all love and miss. Watching it, it made me laugh cuz you had fun with everything you did. Boy did we all have fun that night. I'm so glad I have that video to hold on to forever and ever. I'm also so glad that I got to have you be a part of my wedding. It wouldn't have been as good as it was without you. This weekend I am going to have copies made for Mom and Dad so they can have those favorite clips of you and watch them any time they want. I miss you so much. I wish I could see you again here on earth. My boss asked me the other day how I was doing and I started to get upset and couldn't really say much, so I walked away. There are only two times of day when its easier for me.....when I'm at work (I use it as an escape) and when Matt is with me. Last night I was by myself and I guess that's why I broke down. It's so hard to accept the fact that my big brother, biggest fan, biggest protector is not here to look out for me any longer. I miss you, I love you, send me and Mom some sweet dreams.

Love Forever,
Your baby sis.
December 29, 2005
Dear Karen & Mark, May you find comfort in your memories. Please know that your in my prayers and Im thinking of you.
December 29, 2005
To My Darling Son,

Hi Sweetheart,

I miss you so !! I went back to work on first I didn't think I was going to be able to back the car out of the driveway but I did. Jeff has been incredibly supportive. I brought your beautiful picture to work with me and it sits right on my desk where I can look at you every minute. It was so strange going into my office at first. Everyone was very sweet but it all seemed surreal. There were many cards and gifts and a beautiful plant that was waiting for me. I appreciated it all but what I really want is you. All of the residents have been coming in and seeing me and each time they do it is difficult because they all hug me and tell me how sorry they are. They tell me I am a strong woman and I will make it....but there are lots of times that I wonder if I ever will. Every morning when the door opens I just expect to see you and you're not there. I had to erase your name and number from my cell phone the other day and when I did I cried really really hard. Anytime I ever needed you, you were always here for me...I know you still are but in a different is just going to take some time getting used to. I come home at night and I just don't want to do anything. Believe me there is alot I could be doing but right now I am deep in my thoughts of you and I can't seem to tear myself away. Ninja is great, I think he realizes now that this is his house. Dad and I bought him a new bed and a leather collar, and a new harness and leash to walk him. He gets excited at night just like Radar when it comes time for a walk...him and Radar are brothers now. They have fun together on our walks. He sleeps in our room with us and Radar. Dad and the boys have been cleaning out and closing up your house...that has been very hard for all of us. I don't want to let anything go. We will do our best to keep all we can and if we do choose to give some things away we want them to go to your friends and family that love you. They will be well taken care of. Dad and I will see to that. I just can't believe that after the end of this month that your home will be no longer and that gives me great pain. Jason made all your beautiful pictures for me and soon I will be sending them out to all of our family and friends. I have so much to do and so many people to Thank it will take me awhile but I will get it done. So many friends and neighbors have been so good to us. Today Scott brought over 2 tickets to the Bruins /Lightning game at the St Pete's Forum tomorrow night. He wanted us to have them. Dad and Jeff are going to go. I just can't....I am not ready....watching hockey would remind me of all those wonderful cold years I watched you and Jeff play hockey....and they were wonderful and COLD...but I am just not ready....maybe next time. Dad & Jeff will have fun and I know you will be with them in spirit. I can tell you one thing for sure....when BullRiding comes...we are going and we won't be going without Uncle Bill....I guess this year he will have to be Jeff's date. Almost time for a dog walk. I will look up to the sky for your STAR...make sure it is brightly shining...I always try to point it out to Ninja. I love you with all of my heart and soul. You are my most precious son. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings.

With Great Big Hugs & Kisses
Your Loving Mother
December 28, 2005
Jarrod just to let you know... You are the Angel in the End Zone :-)We all miss you still terrribly. Can you say hi to my mom & dad for me?This Xmas was rough on alot of people your parents ,aunts uncles cousins & friends.There is not a day that goes by that we do not think about you. I got to see the picture of you at the Pats Game. I am going to put you in my "sports room right beside all the Pats pictures & hats. :-) It will take some time but the hurt & sadness fade but will never go away. I pray in my heart that you will go see your mom in her dreams to ease her pain.You have the best family Jarrod with alot of caring & loving people. Take care my buddy again peace out and keep flapping those wings in the endzone :-) Till the next time we all love you "the other Mama & the Beefs gang"
December 27, 2005
Dear Karen,Mark, Jess & Jeff,
Please know our thoughs and prayers are with you -
December 27, 2005
Dear Jarrod,

Each week that passes and the Patriots go on to win another game makes me truly believe that you are their Angel in the Endzone! I know you are cheering them on and turning everyone else in Heaven into Patriot fans. Each game they win puts a smile on my face.
Thats all for now - Go Pats!

Love you big brother.

Love forever, your baby sis.
December 27, 2005
We can't possibly express how sorry we were to hear about Jarrod. Our thoughts and prayers are with you now and always.
December 27, 2005
Hey Sweetheart,

It's me again Ma. I am just writing a quick note to rah-rah- about the Patriots Game. I already know that you know they beat the Jets 31-21 because I believe you are one of their Angels in the End Zone. How did you like that game, huh. Pretty good that Mike Vrabel got two touchdowns. It's funny now, but if you hadn't left me and I had a chance to let you know what I wanted for Christmas that is what I was going to ask for...a Mike Vrabel jersey. Three he is cute, two he's a great football player and three I like his Number 50. It's like the glass is always better half full than half empty. Thanks for the spirit and the energy tonight. I'm sure you had Heaven in an uproar. Kepp on cheerin'....we got a bit of a way to go yet. I love you so very much. Every night I close my eyes which I am about to go and try to do I only wish you would be here with me when I wake up....I know you won't so I am going to pray that you will come to me in my dreams. Be my Angel tomorrow and come to work with me. I am going back for the first time since you left us and I am nervous. I need your strength and courgae to pull me through. Anyway..............GO PATS!!!!!
and Hold on tight to my heartstrings. I love you.

Your Loving Mother.
December 26, 2005
Hi Sweetheart,

It's me Ma. I don't know what to do with myself so I thought maybe if I wrote to you I might feel better. Dad is asleep in the recliner with ESPN on (football). Ninja and Radar are sleeping with him. I am here by myself and I am terribly lonely. I could be doing lots of things around our house but nothing seems important. I guess I just want to know why you left us. I know I am probably never going to know which is so hard but I just don't understand. You made all of our lives so much fun. And there were plenty of days when you ticked all of us off, but the good days far outweighed the not so good ones. Ya know, Thanksgiving was horrible for me...mostly because you were not here. I am Thankful that you went back to Boston and saw everyone and spent the day with Jess & Matt and had such a great time at the Pats game with Bobby but that day for me seemed to start a downward spiral that has just crumbled at my feet. For here it is now Christmastime and you are gone forever.....FOREVER....I can't even get that thru my head. I feel like I am in a bad dream and I am hoping someone sweet & kind is going to wake me up and tell me it will be all better but I know that it won't be. I've been trying to think of happy times. There were millions and millions and one by one they will come back to me. One that comes to mind right now is when Stephanie and Madelynne and Hailey were visiting in September. You, me and Madelynne had an English Tea Party round the clock table in the family room. You were so funny...speaking in eloquent Royal English and the both of us teaching her to drink tea with her pinky finger extended. She put so much pretend sugar in our cups we could have stayed up for a month. She loves you so much. She knows you got hurt in a car accident and that God took you to Heaven to be with Him and the Angels. She wants to sent you pictures. Between her and Alexis we are going to need our own UPS truck to get them there. And then I think about "Howl-O-Scream. I am so glad that we all went. It really was a good time. And on a few occasions when I got scared I am so glad that I had you and Jeffrey to hold on to, as well as Dad. I'm a scaredy-cat when it comes to those things. I just feel so empty inside when I think that I can't be with you anymore. Oh,how I loved to spend time with you. Those two years you were in Florida before us were some of the hardest I have lived in my life. I hated being so far away from you, just like I hate being so far away from Jess & Matt. Now eternity seperates us. When will I see you again? Only God knows for sure. I pray to him that he keep you safe and happy and that he love and watch over you as Dad & I always did. I know you are with us and always will be . You are the LIGHT OF MY LIFE, always burning, always bright.
Hold on tight to my Heartstrings.
I love you forever

Your Loving Mother
December 26, 2005
It's very late and I thought of one Christmas, when we were at grandma's and grandpa's and you pulled Santa's beard off and made us all realize that "santa" was not the real santa
I love you and miss you dearly
I know you are here with me
December 26, 2005
Christmas Night

To My Darling Son Jarod,

Christmas has come and gone for it is now 12:13 a.m. I am actually glad it is over because it was a very difficult day. Everyone tried to be happy but it was far from easy. Your sister Jess & Matt sent a gift for me and Dad and Jeffrey and Uncle John, but other than that no gifts amongst our family were exchanged. Dad and I, Jeffrey, Shelby & Jessica had some dinner together and hung out for awhile. Uncle John did not want to come over. Your good friend Chris came by for about an hour. He caught us in the middle of one of your games of trivial pursuit and joined in. We all did pretty crappy and we even managed to laugh a little...but when we stopped Dad had the lead. We all (except Chris) went to the movies tonight includung Uncle John. We went to see The Chronicles of Narnia. I didn't really feel like going but I did it for the rest of what is left of our family. My heart has been aching all day. All I have wanted all my life is to see my family grow and from that grown family have another family start. I feel like it is never going to happen. I need family around me. My children and hopefully someday my grandchildren but now I have my doubts that I will ever get to really see or enjoy those days. I so wanted you to be a father, and make me a it will never be. Christmas pasts were fun and loving and happy and busy and exciting and non-stop action. This Christmas was none of that. You would have made me smile and laugh, and you probably would have made me cry too. Your sister made me cry when I opened her gift. She bought me a cross pendant for my neck which I have wanted since the day you died. She bought one for Dad too. She says it will keep you close to us. I sure do hope she is right.

And so My Darling Son, although you are here with me no longer. You are the most wonderful son I could ever have asked for. For every night I tucked you into bed as a tiny baby and then a toddler, a youngster, a pre-teen, a teen-ager, a young man, and yes even a grown man...I would give my life if I could do it all over again. I love you with all of my being and for sure I will be with you again one day and maybe then when I am really old maybe you can tuck your "old ma" in for a change. In the meantime, don't you dare let go of my hold on to them extra tight.
Merry Christmas Darling.

Your Loving Mother
December 25, 2005
To My Big Brother,

Its Christmas Day. I have been thinking about you all day - no different than any other day since you have been gone. Today has been a good day, I am lucky to have such a wonderful family here and in Florida. Matt gave me so many beautiful things, I couldn't ask for more except one wish - to have you here to share in the joy. I miss you so much, everyday is tough when I wake up and have no choice but to believe your gone. This Christmas was extremely tough for me, especially when I think about all the great memories of the past Christmas' with you. Enjoying our traditional Champagne Jams (like Mom said). I miss those - but one day we will have them again. I would give anything to have 5 more minutes with you on any day of the year. I would tell you how much I love you, what a wonderful brother and friend you were to me. A sister couldn't ask for more. Matt misses you too - you were the one of a kind brother he never had. I bought gifts for Mom, Dad and Jeff, gifts that they could have to remember you and keep you close to their hearts. Jeff asked me for an Adidas sweatshirt (your favorite brand). When I went shopping - I picked one out for him but I couldn't bear the thought of not buying you a gift - so he got 2 Adidas sweatshirts and I asked him to wear one for you. I bought Mom and Dad each a necklace with a cross on it - I want them to wear it when they miss you and want you close to their hearts. You know that will be everyday. I miss you with all my heart, I wish I could see you one more time to hug you and tell you I love you. You will be forever missed. I hope and pray that you are having fun in heaven and have made a ton of new friends - which doesn't need much prayer, since you are such a social butterfly. This is tough for me to say because there are so many things I want you to be a part of in my life (my first house, when Matt and I start a family, you being the BEST uncle imaginable and the list goes on and on), but enjoy your new life in heaven. Hugs and Kisses forever.
I love you big brother.
Love Forever - your baby sis.
December 25, 2005
It just doesn't seem like Christmas without you here (somewhere). But if you can read this or see what I am typing MERRY CHRISTMAS! If you were her by now you would be feeling "good". cause after all "it'z all good" I think that's your saying.. right! I know it is. I miss you so much it hurts, I can't belive your gone. I look at the picture of you on my bureau from my wedding and it just doesn't seem right.. You watch me when I sleep! Do I snore? Only kidding, I know I don't..But, I hope I made someone laugh :)

Bobby is going to the Pats/Miami game on New Years Day. I know its going to be hard for him because he misses you so much. But he will be cheering them on just like he did with you.

Alexis thinks we can talk to you on the phone because sometimes we call the Angels when it thundering and lightning and ask them to stop. It's really Bobby. ssssh don't tell. But now she thinks she can talk to you. I wish she could, I wish we all could. Then she decided that you are the Toothfairy!!! I bet you never thought you'd have that job.
p.s. she likes fives and tens! Seriously, she's a gold digger.
Just like the song on your phone. Another reminder of you..Chris Motil had the same song on his phone.At your service it rang. Chad and I both were in shock until Motil's awnsered HIS phone.
Well I must go my tears keep flowing and I could write for days.I love you and miss you so, it just breaks my heart. I hope your happy in heaven. Watch over us all and send your Mom some sweet dreams so she knows your okay.
Love Always,
December 25, 2005
Dear Karen,Mark, Jess & Jeff,
We just want you all to know we are thinking of you all today and everyday. We are so sorry for your loss, itis unimaginable. Jarrod was a great person, always happy and friendly. He will be missed greatly by all who knew him. I am sorry we missed his service here but we did not know when it was. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you on this difficult Christmas season. We love you all, you are part of our extended family and we are here for you when and if you need us...

Love Dave, Lisa, David, Casey And Paige.....
December 25, 2005
Mark and Karen -
I'm very sorry for your loss. Having children of my own that are the same age I cannot imagine what you have had to go through. I know how close you were and this cannot be an easy thing.
December 25, 2005
Christmas Morning

To My Darling Son Jarrod,

All I want for Chruistmas is to have you back with me
Have you back with me
Have you back with me
All I want for Christmas is to have you back with me
For...without you, it won't be Christmas anymore.

It is raining today....gray and gloomy....Christmas Eve was too sad and lonely and I just couldn't take I went to bed. I prayed that you would come to me in my dreams but I didn't see you. You must have been having a good Chrisymas Eve party in Heaven. Dad and the dogs are still sleeping. Just me and Pooh are up. I don't think I can do anything today....I feel like I am in a state of suspension. I guess I will just pray. I love you so much. Be happy My Darling...I will write again soon. Will you give a tug on my Heartstrings today?
I love you with all of my being.

Your Loving Mother
December 24, 2005
It's Christmas Eve.....

To my Most Precious Son,

Is Heaven happy today? I hope so. I know if you are on the social committee there will be a party going on. I'm trying to be happy...I'm thinking about all the Christmas Eves we spent together and how much fun we all had. Remember when all of you were small...yourself, Jeffrey, Jess, Jen, Steph, and even Steven and Danielle for a little while before they moved to we all used to gather at Grandma & Grandpa's house and we would have so much fun. Noise and commotion everywhere. Not too long later Mikey came along and then lots more noise and commotion. And boy oh boy did we have food. Aunt Donna and Grandma and me used to cook for an army but everybody would stop in to say Merry Christmas and to see how big all you kids had grown. There were toys everywhere...when we took you home later in the night (usually in your pj's already asleep) the trunk of the car was already filled with presents. Santa would come and each of you would tell him what you hoped he would bring in the morning but I always knew that you were the skeptical one....never quite sure if he was the "real deal"....well he was!! Grandpa and Grandma would get out the harmonica and guitar and mandolin and play Christmas songs and we would all sing and laugh. I think everybody's favorite song was Granpa's rendition of "Out behind the Barn". Then when you all got old enough to really want to play with your presents on Christmas morning we changed our Christmas Eve get-togethers to Christmas Day at our house mostly on the Cape. A couple were at Aunt Karen & Uncle John's and by then Steven and Danielle had gone to Florida but the tradition carried on. Good times and good and laughter and lots and lots of friends. And as we all started to age and you kids turned into young adults and had boyfriends and girlfriends then our family expanded and the fun just got bigger and better. We started our traditional "Champagne Jam". Boy oh boy didn't we all have fun with that. Dancing and singing and drinking champagne and just loving one another and thanking God that we had such a wonderful family. When families mature and children move on to start their own lives those special moments start to slip away a bit...but they stay forever in our hearts. We have still had a "Champagne Jam" or two and now we have beautiful new additions to the family to take up where all you grown up kids have left off. We have Madelynne, Alexis, Nicole, Gaven, Sadie, and Hailey and although they are all far apart we are family and family traditions will always hold true. I hoped one day My Darling Son that you would have chance to experience that beautiful side of life. To take a wife and have a child or children and that on a Christmas Eve like this we could all be celebrating together. Unfortunately, that did not happen and God had another plan for you. Today my heart is heavy as I am sure tomorrow will be too...but tonight I will look up into the night sky and when I see the brightest STAR...I know it will be you shining down on all your family that loves you and only wishes that we could just have you here to spend another Christmas Eve with us. For me it is lonely tonight but I will take comfort with your father and brother and Jess and I will talk and all of our family sends their love to you. You are in all of our hearts. I love you with all of my being. Will write tomorrow. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go.

Your Loving Mother
December 24, 2005
Mark & Karen

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest sympathy to you.
God Bless
December 24, 2005

sorry to hear of your tragedy
Mark... i know there is a big
void in your family now...ilost
my Mom two years ago and it
hurts me bad.ithink about
it everyday....she and i lived
together...we were soo close...
you gotta keep your head up and
keep moving on...i know it's
gonna be tough but try to enjoy
the Holidays..tell your wife
that i am soo sorry and you got
my number so call me if i can
ever help's just a
phone call away....

take care,
December 24, 2005
Dear Karen & Mark, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I / we can't even begin to understand what you are feeling or going through. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that our thoughts and prayers are with your family. Sincerely, Bill Knowles
December 23, 2005
Dear Jarrod,

I wanted to add what I read at both of your services - one in FL and one in MA.
I read Scotts entry and it made me cry - but it doesn't take much when I think about you.

Jarrod Matthew Bourget – Born January 17, 1975

When I think about my brother, I can only think about all the great times we had and there were so many. He was a wild man from as far back as I can recall, climbing trees, hanging from them like a monkey and riding his skateboard down the steepest hill. He was always happy and whenever he did anything, he did it BIG. When I was about 6 years old we lived in Braintree and he sat me down on the steps and said “it’s time for a haircut baby sis”. He put masking tape over my eyes and cut my bangs diagonally across my forehead. I was the funniest looking 6 year old out there. I think about that story now and I would let him do it all over again.
A couple of weeks ago I saw my brother for the last time. We spent Thanksgiving together and had a wonderful time, but it was too cold for him up here. He couldn’t wait to get back home to the warm weather were he could truly be “a tropical peoples”. I’m so grateful I got to see him and spend time with him.
My entire life Jarrod was not only my big brother and friend, but he was my protector. He never wanted me to get hurt or get in trouble. I truly believe now that he is up in heaven he will continue to protect me as my guardian angel. He was a wonderful, loving, caring, warm, big-hearted guy and I couldn’t have asked for a better brother in him. I will always love him with all my heart and forever will miss him. I know everyone who knew Jarrod feels the same way and lets remember him the way he would want us to – as a fun loving, happy man that enjoyed life with passion and a million dollar smile.

I love you Jarrod. May your beautiful soul rest in peace.

Love Forever, your baby sis.
December 23, 2005
Dear Jarrod,
This entry is probably more for your Mom & Dad, Jessica & Jeff, & the rest of the Bourgets...& me a little bit, maybe because I'm a Dad myself now. I've yet to read the rest of these entries here but I will. I wanted to add something myself first.
My memories of you are from when you were a kid, just a little boy. I didn't really know you when you were older. I remember you being a good hockey player, a true New England style of hockey player, tough & with soul, spirit. It would be a safe bet that whatever you tackled in Life that you did with all your will.
The last couple of times I saw you you were a young man. Made ME feel OLD! :) And I know the girls LOVED you! Lucky devil! :) And I recall being that age myself, we feel so strong, no worries, the World being your oyster, & it was. I know you enjoyed yourself, as it should be. There are so many that do not have fun with the gift of Life that we're given & you certainly seemed to live to the fullest, sometimes on the edge. And I can relate, Life is so much fun & blessed & I'm happy that you experienced what short time you were with us. And it was much too short, that doesn't need to be said. You will be missed but much more importantly, the ones that knew you will never forget you. I've a strong feeling that the people who knew you have your being burned into their memories because of your energy, your spririt, your Love of Life. I wish there were more like you. We need all the happy people in our World to cancel out the few miserable ones! :)
The service for Jarrod in West Barnstable was wonderful, albeit a very sad occasion. Standing room only! I paricularly liked Jessica's words. You were grieving obviously, but underneath I could tell that you hadn't lost sight, in your grief, about how blessed you were to have Jarrod as your's. Remembering the truly unique things that are so possitive with your relationship. Death is so tragic, so sad & we can not forget all the positive memories, feelings, & experiences that FAR OUTWEIGH the negative, sad things that occur in somenoe's Life. Lets focus on the positve happy things & that is part of what I got out of some of Jessica's words, I laughed in happiness through my tears of grief...GOOD JOB! And never forget. Keep his spririt alive.
After talking with Johnny in Fla. & getting the news, all that I could think of was Karen & Mark & what you might be going through. As I mentioned ealrier, maybe because I'm now a parent myself, your pain has a whole new meaning to me. I'm sorry. It just ain't right.
And Karen, I must admit that I dreaded seeing you in West Barnstable & I apologize for my emotions. For some reason I knew I could talk with Mark, although obviously very difficult. However the thought of seeing you under these circumstances filled me with such grief. I told myself to be strong for you deserve it, you've enough pain to deal with. I was afraid of my emotions when I saw you & I told myself not to tear up. Instead, I could not even say any words when I first held you, I sobbed liked a child. I'm welling up now. I'm sorry for not being strong, it seems you had to be strong for me! :)
Karen, you're such a special person, I know where your kids get some of their special traits, (yes Mark, they get some from you too! :P), & special people shouldn't have to deal with things like this. You're just such a happy person, that is what I know of you, YOU'RE the sweetheart & please keep YOUR spirit alive, for Jarrod's & the rest of your's sake. THE WORST THING JARROD COULD SEE LOOKING DOWN UPON HIS MOTHER IS TO SEE HER GRIEVING. I'm certain he'd want his Mom to be happy, yes miss him but dwell on his happiness & the happiness that he spread.
Mark, I will simply say I'm sorry & you are in my thoughts, we will talk later...I want to talk later.
And I grieve all over again for you Little Karen & John. I wanted to cry when I saw the both of you at the service. I'm so sorry & I know no words can really soften the pain you ALL go through. Just please do not forget the rest of the treasures that we have in our Lives, especially the ones given to us but the Loved ones that are no longer with us here on Earth.
Keep Jarrod's memories happy. I miss you all & Love you.
December 23, 2005
To My Son Jarrod,

Hi Sweetheart,

The past couple of days have been really tough for me...I think it is because Christmas is closing in and you will not be with us. There is no Christmas in our family this year...perhaps next but that is too far away right now to even think about. I miss you so much. I am having difficulty just going into the market or drugstore because we used to run into each other so much. I feel such anxiety and sadness come over me and I don't think I can control it. I was really saddened to hear about Coach Dungy's son James who died...but I know he is in Heaven with you. Even though he is a Colts fan I know you will be a good friend to him. Just think about the football rivalry there will be now. I wear your Bruschi shirt (it helps me to feel closer to you) when we watch the Patriots and even though I don't cheer loud like you and I used to do, I am cheering silently in my heart. We all believe that you are one of the Patriots Angels in the End Zone and that with your spirit and high energy you are going to help surge them straight to another Superbowl victory. That will be FANtastaic, problem is football just doesn't seem the same without you....nothing does. I talked to your friend Jason today. He is going to help me get copies of your beautiful picture made so I can send it to all of your friends who love you so. He will be moving away in January and we will miss him but he will never forget will be his friend for life. I am here with Ninja and Radar today...they are laying on the floor beside me as I write to you...I can tell that they miss you so. Dad & I have been taking them for a walk almost every night. Ninja is learning to love it as Radar does. Ninja is our baby now and we will love him forever as we do you. God, how I miss you....I just don't know what to do sometimes. I pray alot. I know you are with God now and that he has a wonderful plan for you and that you are happy and flying free as your cousin Jen says, but I sure do wish with all my heart that you were still here beside me.
Loving and missing you so much....Hold on tight to my Heartstrings.

Your Loving Mother
December 23, 2005
Mark and Karen,
Our hearts go out to you at this time and in the days ahead.
December 22, 2005
To My Son Jarrod,

Earlier today, I wrote to you and couldn't spell Sweetheart correctly well now I can SWEETHEART. I love you so. I wrote another letter today to someone and I can't say anymore now but if wishes really do come true I will tell you more in time. The sun is still shining today and your Best Friends....Ninja, Radar and Muddy send lots of doggie licks to you!!!
I love you with all of my heart and soul. Hold on tight to my Heartstrings.

Your Loving Mother.
December 22, 2005
To My Son Jarrod,

Good Morning really isn't a good morning, none of them are since you have left us. The Sun is shining though today and we have not seen much of the sun since that dreadful day of December 3rd. You would be complaining if you were here today because it is a cold 36 degrees this morning. You would be all bundled up. I miss you so much , I sometimes feel like I just can't go on. I was going to try to go back to work today and my office has been great and very understanding to me but it is just so hard (I can't see what I am writing thru my tears). I will go back after Christmas. There will be no Christmas in our house this year, we can't even think of having it without you. Dad and I have a hole in our hearts that is bigger than any ocean and it can never be filled. We hope that you are happy and at peace and that Heaven is a beautiful, warm, and tropical climate full of sunshine just the way you like it. My days are empty, long and lonely. I walk thru our house and I feel you and see you everywhere in my heart and my mind but it is your warm hugs and kisses that I now have to learn to live without that pains me so. I always said that you got your Loving qualities from me. It must be the "Italian" half of you. I can hear you saying "Just keep trying Ma" and I am but it is just so hard. Sometimes I just don't know what to do. I found your five ornaments that I sent to you the first Christmas that you were here in Florida without us. The ones that have the pictures of me, Dad, Jeffrey, Jessica, & Matt. I have hung them on the mantle under your beautiful photo that was taken at the Patriots game that you went to with Bobby on November 20th. That beautiful picture of you makes all of us smile because we know you were so happy that day and you got to spend it with your best friend. I am going to give a copy of that picture to all of your friends for a keepsake. Everyone has asked. It will be mine and Dad's gift to all of the people that love you so much. We all miss you so. We all believe too, that you are now the Patriots Angel in the End Zone and with you watching over them that they are going to go straight to another "SuperBowl Victory". I know I have been blessed because God gave me 30 wonderful, great, beautiful years to spend with you before he called you Home, but there is a saying that goes something like this, "God will not give you more than you can handle". Well, I am asking God to give me a break. I have lost many people in my lifetime...both my parents when I was so young, and two of my sisters and now the most painful of all....losing you My Darling Son. I have the support of many a friend and family member and I need them all. Dad, Jeffrey, Jessica, Uncle John, Shelby & Jessica and of course Uncle Bill are here for me everyday and the support is spread far and wide. Trouble is none of them can bring you back to me and that is what I wish more than anything in my life. Days feel like they will never end, and nights are long. Sleeping has been scary at times...bad dreams... but I believe in time those bad dreams will turn into only beautiful and happy dreams of you. I believe you are with family and friends that have gone before you and that you probably have Heaven Rockin and Rollin by now. My love for you is eternal and will abound forever and ever. It is deeper than any ocean, stretches farther than any river, higher than any mountain and well beyond the universe. You are a part of my heart and soul and there you will always stay. I pray to God everyday and night to watch over you and protect you. Your beautiful little cousin Alexis misses you and wants to call you. If you could be reached by telephone I would be the first one on the line. Please hold on tight to my Heartstrings and don't ever let them go. I love you with all of my being.

Your Loving Mother.
December 20, 2005
Jarrod all of us from your other family "football ,Beef's & "The Shed" miss you alot. We think of you everyday & night. We do know that we will meet again one day..but it just does not seem real that you are not going to walk through our door with that huge smile on your face with your Patriots gear on!!Getting ready to boot someone out of the way of the bigscreen!Yet still smiling as always. One thing for sure that we do know is so many people love you & miss you. To Jessica;Jeff; Mark & Karen please rest assured that we will always be there for your family no matter what. We can not take the pain & sorrow away..Lord knows we wish we could..we miss Jarrod too!! Anytime anyplace whatever you need please let us know.Your brother & son is watching over all of us right now with a big grin on his face & cheering the Pats on for sure. He is thier Angel in the Endzone!! Till we meet again Jarrod God bless
Love Always "Mama & the Beef's Kids"
December 20, 2005
Perhaps they are not the stars,
but rather openings in Heaven
where the love of our lost ones
pours through and shines down
upon us to let us know they
are happy.

A woman I work with wrote this in a letter to me. I thought I would share it as I beleive that Jarrod is shining down on all of us.
December 19, 2005
Dear Jarrod,
This past weekend has been 2 weeks since your tragic passing. I'm not quite sure where the time went but I do know that I wish it was spent with you. I miss you so much and I feel sometimes the pain I have in my heart will never get easier to bear. I know it will with time, but how much time? I think about all the great times we had together and I see your smile and it makes cry and laugh. I cry because I'll never see it again and I laugh because you were so funny. I know deep down you want all of us to be happy, but it's just so hard when your not around. You just had that effect on people. I'm so grateful I got to see you on Thanksgiving, I thank god for that time with you everyday. I also ask myself everyday - WHY? why Jarrod? Why was he taken from us so early? too soon? we never got to say goodbye. I guess those questions will never be answered - but somewhere down the line, may we find comfort in your smile and know you are in a better place.
I love you big brother - your forever in my heart.
Love, your baby sis forever.

Mom and Dad,
I don't know how painful this must be for you, but I have an idea with the pain I feel for losing my brother. Just know that I am always here for you no matter what, anytime of day or night. I can't put into words how I want to help you both through this, but please lean on me. I will need to lean on you too. I love you both with all my heart. Jess.
December 17, 2005
Dear Jarrod,
It's only been two weeks since God has taken you from us but, it feels like forever. I miss your laugh, your smile and your point of view. I try to be strong for your parents but when ever I think of you the tears pour down my face. I wish I could have five more minutes with you, to tell you how much I love you and to thank you for everything you have given me. Bobby loves you so much and is so thankful for his last memory of you, that Patriots game will be forever in his memory. Alexis and Sadie miss you too! Ally wants to send pictures to the angels for you, we already have atleast 20 or so!
Mark and Karen I wish I could take away your pain and sorrow. I hope with time you will have some peace in your hearts. Jarrod was special to everyone who knew him and will be greatly missed by all. I can't imagine your pain but know that we are all suffering as well. Please take care of yourself and know that you are both loved a great deal.
Love Always,
Jen, Bobby, Ally & Sadie & De-og and Baxi too! xoxoxo
December 16, 2005
To My Son Jarrod,

Dad and I are back home in Florida since going to Massachusetts for your Memorial Mass on December 10th. Jennifer and Bobby planned your Memorial and helped in ways that there will never be enough words or heartfelt thanks that we can express to them. They love & miss you so much. Your service was beautiful and special. You were remembered by family and friends for the Great Guy that you are. Your passing has changed all of us. When you died a little bit of each of us died with you. You made life so much fun. Just like Grandma said from the time you were a little boy striaght into manhood you had high energy and a real love of life and you lived it to the fullest. Many a day I worried but I always got to see your smiling face. Now I can only see it in pictures and in my mind. I can't make the hours pass fast enough, days seem long and hollow. I laid on the floor last night with Radar and Ninja and hugged them tight. They look for you everyday and don't know why you haven't come back yet. Now we will be Mama & Daddy to Ninja and not Nanni & Papa no more. We love him because he is a wonderful dog but mostly because he is a part of you, and now Radar has a brother for sure. Ever since we came to Florida I have been surrounded by boys and I am still. All the boys need me, Dad, Jeff, John, Shelby and Radar and Ninja too just as I need all of them. We are all trying to be good to each other even though we are all hurting in our own way. I pray to God each night to watch over us and give us the courage to carry on. My heart is so heavy sometimes I feel like I cannot even breathe. I miss you so, your warm hug and tender touch. If I close my eyes and concentrate real hard I believe that I can feel you in my presence. I will wish everyday of my life that you were still here with us. It is hard to accept the fact that our life has changed. I love you so much My Darling Son. Hold onto my Heartsrings.

Your Loving Mother
December 16, 2005
Jarrod! We cannot get it through our heads that we will neever see you again. You have left a hole in our hearts.
We will always remember you as a sweet little boy and a handsome young man who could charm everyone.
You looked like your grandfather whhhen he was your age. You saw a picture of grandpa some time ago and thought it was you.
We know are in a better place now, but that dousn't make any easier. Please take of your cousin Michaelour other grandson...
Grandma & Grandpa
December 12, 2005
Dear Lord,
We pray You wrap Your loving arms around Jarrod's family.
We ask that they be covered with Your blanket of comfort in this most difficult time and that You give them strength in the coming days and weeks.
Thank You for sharing Your child, Jarrod, with us.
In Christ's name, Amen.
December 12, 2005
To My Son Jarrod,

It has been nine days since you left us. Days that have seemed endless and nights that are much too long. You are so loved by so many wonderful people. So many tears have been shed we could fill another ocean. Your charming personality brightened the lives of many and warmed the hearts of all your friends and family. It is hard to imagine the days ahead. Once so so sad. Many loved ones have gone to heaven before you. I pray you are with them and I know you are with God and the Angels. Your precious little cousins Madelynne and Alexis want to call and send you pictures because they love and miss you so much. What precious darlings they are. I sit and cry and wonder how I will ever go on. I know I must. Not only am I suffering from losing you, your father, your brother Jeffrey and your sister Jessica are suffering too. We all love you so much and feel very lost without you.
Everyday was an adventure with you, exciting and uplifting. I hope from Heaven you can find a way to uplift our spirits. My pain feels insurmountable right now but I will fight to find the courage to go on. I can hear you saying to me.... "Just keep trying". I love you with all of my heart and soul. Shine brightly upon me my Darling Son and hold on tight to my Heartstrings. I Love You.

Your Loving Mother
December 12, 2005
With difficulty words only express a portion of the feelings we have for Karen and Mark and Family. There is much love and much support from family and friends and that is what gets us through times such as these. Faith also helps for without it I'm not sure how we would handle such an event. May you always have faith knowing that a loving God is watching over you and your family. And your loved one is now in the presence of his Creator.
With much love and many prayers and God's blessings.
December 11, 2005
May you find comfort in your memories and peace in your heart.
With my deepest sympathy,
Pam Colby
December 11, 2005
Mark & Karen,
Words cannot ease the pain you both are going through. Why did God pick Jarod, Why did he have to leave. We'll never know. All I know, is Jarod is an angel watching over his loved ones, friends and anyone who had the pleasure of knowing him. No night is so dark that cannot be brightened with the many many memories of him. He was so full of energy, life and fun to be around. He will be sadly missed. Love you Jarod. I asked the good lord to bring Jarrod together with my Mother and Father they will take care of him. Some day we will all be together,just like on earth. Your an angel, a twinkling star in the skys.
December 11, 2005
To Mark & Karen,
We would like to express our sincere condolences to the family at this time. Our thoughts are with you.
December 10, 2005
Dear Karen and Mark
Our thoughts and Prayers are with both of you in this time of sadness. May God give you the strength to get you through this sad time in your life. God bless the both of you. Please except our sympathy. From The Spring Family Randy, Cokie and Todd
December 09, 2005
Dear Jarrod,
You were so full of life and love, your energy was infectious, from our joint vacations when all you cousins were just tiny to present day, you were such a fun and great kid and you grew into such a wonderful young man.You left all of us much too early.I will always love you and never forget you I really hope you are in a better place and you're with your cousins and you keep heaven partying and rockin till we're all together again.Forever missing and loving you always . Aunt Donna
December 09, 2005
December 09, 2005
Jarrod, whenever I was around you you were always smiling and laughing, and you made everyone around you happy. Although I didn't know you all that well, I knew how much of a great person you were. I think it's fair to say that anyone who knows your little sister, knows you, in one way or another. She always spoke so highy of you and always will..God has his own plans for you and your job now is to watch over your friends and family who will forever miss you. You'll always be in our hearts.

And to the Bourgets. My thoughts and pray's are with you. My grandmother use to always say, "God will never give you more than you can't handle."

Love, Reenie
December 08, 2005
To My Most Precious Son,

I have been blessed in my lifetime. Three fantastic children and a wonderful husband. I always said a star that sparkled in the night sky was for each one of you. Now, ONE STAR will shine very brightly down on me forever. Oh, Jarrod if I could only have back yesterday. To feel that warm and wonderful hug and kiss that we shared twice each day. To look into your twinkling eyes again or hear the gentleness of your voice. You made me laugh and you made me cry. There were times when you drove me crazy. No mother could ever ask for a more wonderful son. I am so proud of you, and you accomplished so much. You set high aspirations for yourself and you achieved them. I am truly a "tropical peoples" because of you. Your challenge to Dad for our successful business brought me to Florida, and now just like you I want to be here. New England is just too cold. This beautiful home that we once all shared will never quite be the same again. I will miss your laughter, and your love of football. I don't know if I will ever really enjoy another Patriots game although for you I will try. You made them so much fun. How can I beat you in the football pool now? And, making lasagna will never be the same again. My four-legged grandson, Ninja will comfort me in your absence and I am so happy that you brought him into my life. Nanni will love him forever. I want to Thank You for loving me and bringing me so much joy. I have always said that you really knew how to pull on my Heartstrings....well, please don't ever let go of them. You are a part of my soul and in my heart and life you will always stay. You are with God now in a better place called Heaven. Keep the door open for one day I will be there too and we will be together again. Until then, My Darling Son may God watch over you. Each day will be an eternity without you but someday in eternity we will be together again. I love you with all of my heart and soul. You truly did LIGHT UP MY LIFE.

Your Loving Mother
December 08, 2005

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. May god hold you close during your time of need. We love you.
December 08, 2005
grandpa Bourget with love
December 08, 2005
Your smile was infectious and your energy enveloping. You had the ability to enjoy each friend and loved one as they are and make them feel special. My sadness is overwhelming knowing I'll only see your smile in pictures.
I know Michael will help you settle in and welcome you home. He's been letting me know you are safe and well. In no time at all I'll bet you've scoped out all the "coolest places" and you'll be showing him around!
Help us all here find ways to be good to each other and good to ourselves as we make our way back to our lives.
Know you will always be missed, never forgotten and ever loved.
December 08, 2005
To the most wonderful big brother a girl could ask for. I can't stop thinking about all the amazing memories I have of you. You always looked out for me and I thank you for that (my bodyguard). Your smiling face makes me laugh, cry, and feel all the emotions possible. You may have left me and our family too early but we will never forget you and we will always LOVE you. From your baby sis. Love always, Jess.
December 07, 2005
Our love, thoughts & prayers are with you today & always....Jarrod was a wonderful young man, so full of life... who we will greatly miss.....Much Love, Ron & Tina
December 07, 2005
We will miss you deeply you were a positive and energetic man who was very positive in our family,it was a pleasure knowing you and having you in our family.May god look after you and your family thru this hard time,he will protect you from now on,you will always be in our prayers and
December 07, 2005
We have so much love for you and will keep you always in our hearts.Now that your an angel watching over us we will cherish the memories you have left behind for us.You are one of those great guys that people will never stop talking about.There's a piece of you inside of all of our hearts.Thank you for such a wonderful gift.We love you Jarrod and will never forget the time we shared.
December 06, 2005
Jarrod you will deeply and truly be missed in our family. Even though it was such a short time you spent with our family we will always remember those great memories. Thank you for loving my nephew gavin so much, you really thought of him as your own. You and your family are in all of our prayers. We will always love you.
December 06, 2005
Jarrod, you are such an amazing guy and we are blessed to have the chance of knowing you. You will never be forgotten because you will always be in our thoughts and prayers. We love and miss you greatly!!!
December 06, 2005
jarrod you were the last truly cool person in the family you probly wanted to b a kid for ever, we us to wrestle over on ironbark you never got to ruff on me and joey un like steven and thanks for the car I'll never get rid of it and I'll miss you.
December 06, 2005
Hey Jarrod, I am never going to forget you or all the memories we shared. I'll miss you like crazy and remember all the fun and great times we had. Your smiling face is going to be missed by everyone who knew you. We Love You very much and always will!!!!!
December 06, 2005
Jarrod, We didn't know you very well - but we are saddened by your passing. You may not of realized it but you made us laugh more times than you know. Thanks for keeping an eye on the "new kids on the block"
December 06, 2005
Our thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.
December 06, 2005
Jarrod although we only knew you for such a short time;we will truly miss your smiling face & your sense of humor. Our thoughts and prayers go to your family. Peace out my friend and "one of my other beef's kids. Love always "Mama"
December 06, 2005
May God comfort you...

May you find-
Assurance in His word...
Strength in His presence...
Comfort in His mercy...
Peace in His love.
December 06, 2005
No bond is as great as that between a parent and child. Our deepest condolences are with you as you grieve.
December 06, 2005
Offering our deepest condolences during this difficult time.
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