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Jeannine (Campagne) Nikula

Jeannine (Campagne) Nikula

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August-29-14
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August-29-14
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October-30-13
Dear Jeannine,

It has been one year today and I can still hear the laughter in your voice, see your beautiful smile and feel the love you had for others.

We miss you and will always love you. I am sure you are doing what you can up there to help us work through the pain and fill the void in our lives with the happy memories you so easily gave us.

Missing you with all our hearts.

Vickie
October-26-13
Hello Gorgeous

Well I'm reliving that weekend this weekend and it's real tough.
Please give me the strength to make it thru.
God, please take care of the love of my life. And help me get thru this extremely hard time.

All my love always. Bubaloo
October-13-13
Happy Thanksgiving Beautiful

We were just talking about last Thanksgiving and how you made 3 amazing turkey dinners. One at your dads ,one here with my mom and step dad and then you made one for our family. Everyone amazing. You are an awesome cook. It's also the same weekend we made our address sign for our home. How come you are not here this year with all of us. We need you.

This has been the worst year of my life.
The hardest, saddest and most
depressing year of my life. I don't work without you. You were my everything.

Everything about us was magical. Everything just clicked. Now everything is such a mess. I'm a mess.

No one knows how hurt I am on the inside. So hard to do normal day to day stuff. Always on the verge of a breakdown.

If you can see or feel this pain I'm in please help me ease it. I can't take another year of this kind of pain. Too hard. Show me or guide me.

Missing you from every inch of my heart and soul.

Love always Brad
October-01-13
Hello Gorgeous

Well. Crappy October is here. This is only day one and it is so hard for me. I sure hope I make it thru this rotten month.

Working out of town is so tough. When I lay down at night all I want to do is call you. And talk about my day. But I can't and have no one to talk with like I could with you. I'm so lonely. I have never felt pain like I have lately. How am I ever gonna get over this. Will I ever be able to stop hurting. Anyway. No sleep again. And I need to go to work.

If you can see or hear this sweetheart. Show me a sign on what to do.

Miss you so much.

Bubaloo.
September-26-13
Hi Gorgeous

About 11 months gone by and yesterday I was in the kitchen and in a good mood and singing for about 45 min till I realized what I was doing.What was I thinking, I have no right to be happy.
I'm sorry if you seen that.

It's amazing when I think of all the little things you did and never realized how much I would miss them.Each day there are new things I miss so much,you were truly a gift from God.Absolutely perfect in my eyes.

I'm trying my best to carry on but next month will sure be tough on me.Everyday is tough but it will just be harder. When I looked in your eyes it was like coming home.Exactly where I wanted to be.And I hoped you felt the same.

I miss you so much sweetheart. But I know your free and happy and having fun with your mom and family.

Love always, Bubaloo
September-07-13
Hello Beautiful

They say that in time it will get easier. No it hasn't.

They say in time the pain in my heart won't hurt so much. No it hasn't.

They say in time I will be able to sleep thru the night. No I haven't

They say I need to carry on with life and move forward. But how can I when all I do is think about you constantly.

I'm so tired. My heart hurts all the time aching for you. . I miss you so much. I need you back.

I'm so lonely. Life is so hard with out you. I see you constantly everywhere I look.

Just need your guidance and help on what to do next. Where do I go from here.

I love you from the bottom of my heart and soul. Now. Tomorrow and Forever.

Love Bubaloo. .
August-28-13
Hi Sweetheart

I was walking on the beach yesterday thinking of how I had the best life with you and how we would be together forever,growing old together.

I never dreamed I'd be all alone again,my life was incredible because I had you with me. We just clicked so perfectly. Like we were always meant to be.

Now my days are so sad,thinking of how I am so lost in this cruel world.How I can go from the happiest man in the world to the saddest,all in a blink of an eye.

I'm so tired of always being one breath away from a breakdown.Sleepless nights. Everywhere I look I see you. In every cloud and everything thing I see. Most are great memories but they still hurt because they are memories and not you.

But I still pray for you and that your happy and free. With your mom and family,and your looking down at me with such sadness in my heart,tears rolling down my face because your not here with me. You will always be in my heart.We had such a huge love for each other,because of my love for you is why such sadness. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving me the way you did and for the love I still have for you.

I'm trying to be strong for everyone but so hard. one day at a time.

Big kiss and hugs that last forever.
Bubaloo xoxo
August-18-13
Sweetheart

I went to your dads for a visit and played crib the way we used to.

But as we played I can feel the pain in his eyes as I have in mine. Pictures of you everywhere. All the happy times we shared. But all I see is our pain of you not with us. I feel like I took you from him. But you know I loved you more than life itself. You were my everything.

But as I lie in bed my heart racing. I can't catch my breath. So hot. Leg and arm numb. All I think about is missing you so much.

I am praying that you are in peace and happy and are beside your mom enjoying eternal happiness.

I would give anything to have you back again. Anything at all that would bring you back. A woman as great as you deserves to be living life to the fullest. Life is so hard without you. But I will try my best to live life the best way I can even thou my best friend is gone.

Thinking of you always

Brad
July-28-13
The love of my life

I don't know what is going on with me. My back is so sore I can barely move. I have pain under both of my ribs. I have a headache that I've had for a month that won't go away. I can't sleep.

But most of all lately I can't stop thinking about you. I constantly look across our bed for you. And lately I keep trying to call you. I don't understand what is happening with me lately.

So glad Kym is spending time with me this summer. We are having so much fun. She learning to drive and we are driving alot so she can get practice in. She is a good driver. Spencer was a natural When he learnt to drive it felt like he already drove for years. So proud of both my kids.

Not looking forward to when Kym leaves to go home. I will be so lonely again.

I miss you so much. I think about you 24/7. You are my everything. God I wish I could hold you one more time.

Another sleepless night.
I pray one day that it won't hurt this much. I miss my baby.

I'm sending you a prayer right now that you are so happy being with your mom and have eternal fun and laughter together.

Always in my heart and forever in my thoughts

All my love. Bubaloo
July-10-13
Heart shattered constant pain,all I do is hurt
I feel like I'm lying in a hole being covered by dirt
As the light above slowly goes away
I have these words that I need to say
Why did you leave me and cause me such pain
My mind can't stop picturing you,it's driving me insane
Now It feels like I can't breath any more air
I pray when I wake up that you will be there
We will walk hand in hand together again
There will be no more tears that flow like the rain
But as I gasp my final breath and close my eyes
I wake up and look for you,that's no surprise
But I am all alone and feel that my pillow is wet
Another night,another nightmare for I surely have wept
To be without you is more than I can bare
Life is so cruel and mean and really unfair
But I made it thru today and hopefully tomorrow
I pray one day I will wake without any sorrow.
Please pray with me and help me to get thru this
For one day we will meet again and forever we will kiss
And live together in eternity
For then I will finally be free

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