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Jeannine (Campagne) Nikula

Jeannine (Campagne) Nikula

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April-19-15
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April-19-15
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April-05-15
Hello Beautiful.

I went to see you yesterday and put some fresh roses there for you. I talked to you for awhile and your awesome mom. Each time I go see you I cry because how much I love you and miss you. You have no idea of the love I have for you.

I said I will be ok and you don't need to look after me and to just enjoy heaven and be with your mom and all your loved ones. I know you have helped me get thru these hard times and got me out the bad places I was heading for. But please stop trying to help everyone. Especially me. Forget about me and go wherever you need to go I dont want to hold you up anymore to go to where you need to be. By your mom and family. Just help yourself be happy. That is all I ever wanted was your happiness. Ever. I tried my best to make you happy. I wanted to give you the life you only dreamed about.

But now I'm just finally staring to work on myself. Was a rock bottom for so long. Put on a fake face for everyone but no one knew the pain I had within myself Only was two options. And I chose the up option. Everyday I'm feeling better and more alive. It's a long long road ahead but I will take that road. Because I am still needed here. And until God needs me I will be here


All my love and respect always
Love your Bubaloo
March-01-15
Good night sweety

Just having a real hard day
Needed to talk to you
I miss you so much
All my love always
Brad xoxo 143
February-14-15
Happy Valentines Swwetheart

I miss you so much. I think I am officially at Rock Bottom.
Me not anything else. Kids are great. Grandson great. Work great. Me not so great.

Not feeling good about myself these days. Broken inside and now broken outside.

How can I move on when I can't get over losing you. To spend our next 30-40 years together with the woman of my dreams shattered. It's like God giving me a woman that made everyday special and amazing. To let me see how wonderful life can be and how much fun and love a couple can share.

Then take it all away. Leaving nightmares and heartbreak. I honestly can't take much more. Help me thru this trying tough part. Please.

I'm going to see you later today. We will talk more then.

All my love.
Brad xoxo
February-07-15
Hello Jeannine

I love you.

Love forever
Brad
January-27-15
Hi Sweety

I miss you so much. I'm so lonely and depressed these days. I'm in a bad rut and need to get out of it soon. Can't sleep. Always Tired. Depressed Lonely

Thank goodness for my kids and Caleb Caleb makes me smile just looking at him. He fills some of my heart with the void you left. As well as my kids too. You would of loved him so much. Took him on walks or drives and would of spoiled him I'm sure. Too bad he never got to see what an amazing grandma you would of been. You guys would of loved each other so much.

Just needed to tell you that

All my love forever
Brad
January-01-15
Happy New Year Beautiful

Well another year has past and I still feel the same.Don't get me wrong I have had wonderful things happen and spent wonderful days with loved ones but at end of day still broken inside.
How is it possible to move forward when I can't get over you.I can't let go for some reason.Probably because there is no one as incredible as you are so why bother.

So I'll give it till my 50th birthday,and if I'm not feeling better by then I will just move somewhere a long ways away and try to start over from there. Can't spend rest of my life in this kinda pain.

But I will give it a real good try to be happy and move on and hopefully I can.I just miss you so much.

Today is Heather's birthday,I hope all of you are enjoying a great celebration of New Year and Birthday wishes.I miss you both so much.

All my love always Brad 143
December-25-14
Merry Christmas Beautiful

Well it's Christmas day. All alone in our house and all I do is see you and miss all the fun times we had together.

Life is so tough and hard without you
They say it's supposed to get easier
But it hasn't. I guess I need more time to help me get thru this tough time.

I'm glad kids are at their moms this Christmas because I'm just not in the spirit. But looking forward to next Christmas with kids and grandson.

I hope you are having fun there. I watched a show called heaven is for the real and made me think what heaven is like and made me feel better. I know your enjoying eternity in heaven with all your family and friends and heather (I miss her so much,she was a truly remarkable woman) and grandma burns that just joined you recently. And hopefully you've met gumpy ( my grandfather) and see what an amazing man he was. And so much to teach us. That's why my dad is the greatest dad ever because he learnt from his dad.(the greatest grandfather ever) And I look up to my dad and admire him because he is the kind of man I want to be like. So loved and respected just like my grandfather was. I hope I can get that Erskine gene one day.

And my nan and grandma and grandpa Buchanan. They were all awesome people. Because of them my mom was born. And my mom is loved by everyone and everyone loves her because well. There is no one better anywhere that even comes close to being as incredible as my mom is. I hope you are all together and enjoying Christmas together.

All my love.
Brad
December-19-14
Good Morning Beautiful

Christmas is getting closer. So lonely
I feel like Santa with his Rudolph

I hope your all ready for Christmas yourself.

Love always.
Brad xoxo
November-28-14
Hello Gorgeous

Well another damm Christmas is coming soon. I don't like the holidays anymore. Not the same without you. I miss you so much. Each day harder than the last. So glad to be by myself this Christmas. I don't want to bring others down because I'm not in mood.

But on bright side kids are going to have fun at their moms place this year. It will be so exciting for Kym with her little cutie. He is so awesome. You would of loved Caleb. And Spencer can spend time with his mom and have fun. They enjoy each other's company.

All I can say is I pray next year will be better than this one was. Don't get me wrong we had a wonderful blessing of Caleb. I love him so much and love my kids www too and had the best time I could of ever hoped for with my dad on cruise. We had so much fun. Totally was an amazing time but to many deaths. As I'm sure you know because Heather and grandma are with you as well. Tons of stress. Endless lonely nights. Just want this year to end. 2012 worst year of my life. 2014 just as bad. God I'm praying 2015 will be better.

I miss you sweetheart so much
You were and are my everything
Love always.
Your bubaloo 143
October-30-14
Hello sweetheart

Two years today since you passed and went to heaven.

Thru out these last 2 years
Thru out my pain and tears
And with this real huge loss
Came with hurt and great cost
My life was shattered apart
There's a huge hole in my heart
I Have to keep moving along
And I Need to be real strong
For if I stop and think I'm free
My brain it will torment me
It will make me really think
Then I will slowly start to sink
Moving forward and don't stop
For If I do my heart will pop

I miss you so much
I miss you Jeannine

But I know your in heaven with your mom and heather and now grandma burns. Talking about us and watching over us and keeping us safe. Thank you for that.

All my love always. Bubaloo

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