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Colin Wesley Ferguson 1989 - 2013

Colin Wesley Ferguson

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July 31, 2016
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July 31, 2016
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July 27, 2016
3 years and 3 month, it seems the more time that passes, it seems the farther away from me you are. I try hard to focus on the happy times, and to be thankful you were in my life for nearly 23 years, but lately the harder I focus, the longer I keep you in my mind, the loss of you overtakes the good memories, and the pain is often too much to bear. I can still hear your voice in my head and your strength by my side. I will hold tight to those happy memories and use them as my shield.
July 04, 2016
Today you would be 27, I am working hard to focus on all the happy memories, but it is difficult to not feel the loss of you not being here to celebrate. I remember with great fondness your very happy birthday on Hollings with Cristen, Sean, Jaxon and Chrisina, you laughed so much and we played games. I will play that memory over and over in my mind. /and the three hour game of UNO.
Sean and I like all your birthdays before had a pepperoni and fresh basil pizza in your honor. Love you and miss much baby boy!!!
July 04, 2016
Happy Birthday Colin!
I'll never forget you running across the lawn tumbling towards your sister and I to say hello. You were always so fun to play games with and the love you shared for your mom showed. Everyone misses you. Happy Birthday kid.
June 29, 2016
This last week a dear dear friend tragically lost her brother, I sent her my condolences, but it is her parents that are foremost in my mind, as I know all too well, first the disbelief and the nights of no sleep. Sometimes feeling like you are losing your mind. Dealing with the emptiness.
It goes against nature for children to precede their parents in death; it is something that follows us through the rest of our lives. Would you be married, would you have children? The questions and the tears, my companions. It has been so very very hard not having you here in my life, but I thank God every minute of every day that I still have the memories.
June 09, 2016
One of the last times we were together was at the California Science Center, We were looking at the Endeavor, and you had a hold of my back pack, Mary Ann thought it was so sweet you staying close to me and said something to Cristen, who laughed, and kindly corrected her, she said you misunderstand, that's so my mom is limited as to how much time she can spend at each exhibit. When I go to museums with Sean, I don't wear my packpack.
May 30, 2016
Observing those who died while serving their country, proud to have a brother who served with distinction.
May 30, 2016
Thinking of you
May 29, 2016
Memorial Day A day to remember and honor those who have served and those we have lost. I remember Mary and Larry Berry, mother and father who served in WWII.
My son Colin who served in Afghanistan as a Corpsman in 2012. Though I do not need a day to remind me to think of Colin, he crosses my mind frequently every day, but I have noticed in the past three years there are things that bring back memories as fresh as yesterday. Listening to morning and evening colors played from Navel Base Ventura County, driving past the clinic where you worked for two and a half years. The dash in my car where you would prop your feet. Lucy's cute meow, reminds me of how you would carry her around when you were home. Seeing anyone in uniform. Driving past
Toppers twice a day. Driving past the shores where you liked to run. Your photo that watches me work each and every day. Thank you Colin for 23 years of making me proud to be your mom.
May 11, 2016
I have survived four Mother's Day without you. I think back to all the wonderful things you gave me, and said to me, all the wonderful memories you left with me. When I think of you, nearly every minute, I sometimes cry, but more often I smile, because you could be so very goofy.
You were always Just a quicker version of me!
Love you
Mom
May 05, 2016
Last Thursday, on your Angel Date, we spent the day together. I cleaned the tear stains from your urn, placed it in its burgundy flannel bag, and we set off for the day. First to Shrine Lake, we took a slow walk around the Lake, I spotted one beautiful white Koi that seemed to be leading me to the Meditation Chapel, and we sat together in the Chapel for ten to fifteen minutes, enjoying the peace. Then we went to Round Table for their lunch special. Back home again to watch MST#K. Fortunately Christina was able to join us for a walk on the beach at Oxnard Shores, where you used to run. Then to Toppers by the Sea for dinner and more pizza, just like it was before. It was a good day for us.

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