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Joshua Smallwood
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February 09, 2013
Does any1 still kno joshs last cell number? Miss u man rip bro love u
February 08, 2013
May God keep you in his loving arms and tender care forever. And may he do the same for your mom here on Earth who is left with more grief than one person should ever have to bear. (((hugs to all of you)))
February 06, 2013
It is the eve of feb 6th 2013 so many emotions, mommy rented a cabin on a hill to get closer to the heavens. Tommorow will be a time to reflect back. On the many wonderfull memories you left me with. I miss you son...I love you so very much.
July 28, 2012
Things are the same; your room, your motorcycle, your tools, your toys. My ache. I can't wait to see you, I hope things there are as we've been taught. I love you more than you could ever know.
May 15, 2012
I miss you every minute of every day, big boy. But you already know that. Love, Dad.
December 17, 2011
Happy birthday Bro!!!!! Ya er what! Love u bro
December 16, 2011
Only the good die young. Happy Birthday <3 Merlena
December 16, 2011
Happy Birthday Joshua!!! Can't wait to see u!!! Love u...
December 16, 2011
Happy Birthday Babyboo I miss you so much... Ride in peace brother..!!! <3
December 16, 2011
Happy Birthday! Many blessings! Peace be with you.
December 16, 2011
Today is the first of the best birthday's you will have. As God celebrates with you today we get to ponder how cool it really is going to be.
December 16, 2011
Happy Birthday Josh!
December 16, 2011
Happy birthday Josh :D
December 16, 2011
Happy Birthday in Heaven, Joshua. I'm sorry I never got to meet you in person, but I feel like I know you because of the way your loving Mom talks about you. You would be so proud of her -- she is a strong, wonderful woman. She has helped us so much this year with the death of my own precious daughter, Sarah. Rest in peace, Joshua. Love, Carol.
April 02, 2011
May God help dry your tears as he nestles Joshua in his arms. The Lord has called him home. Rest in peace.
February 17, 2011
I wish you peace.
February 17, 2011
This is in memory of Josh!!! Your light keeps on shining!!!
February 17, 2011
When my son Joshua died I hoped it was a mistake. It was not.
I hoped it was a dream. It was not.
Before my son died, I hoped for enough time in that day to clean my house, provide my family
with clean laundry, taxi service and healthy meals. I loved dinner time with my family. After my
son died, I did not know what day it was, cleaning our home or doing laundry were things I no
longer thought of. I did not cook. I did not shop for food. I did not eat.
I hoped he would come back. He did not.
I hoped I would gain understanding. I did not.
I could not understand how I could wake up on a perfectly normal morning and my son was gone
from his room, gone from our home and gone from our lives.
I hoped for acceptance. I found none.
I hoped those around me would understand me. They did not.
How could my beautiful, vibrant, healthy son be gone?
I hoped for peace. I had none.
I hoped for sleep. I had none.
I hoped for courage to resume my daily life. My life was out of my control. The only thing I was
sure of in the early days of my grief was that I knew my life would never be the same again.
I hoped this empty feeling would go away. It did not.
I hoped that some day my family would be normal again. We were not.
I hoped I could stop looking for our son in every young man I saw that was tall, slim and had
sandy colored hair. I could not.
I hoped I could become the parent to my surviving children that I knew they deserved. I could
I knew how much they were hurting but I could not help myself and I could not help my children.
My younger son Jordan needed my comfort. My Son Noah, expecting his own child needed my comfort.
my daughter Chelea became a wife,
I was their mother but there was no comfort in me to give.
I hoped I could be a wife to my Barney.I could not.
I never hoped for laughter. How could I laugh when my son was dead?
I hoped the feelings that consumed my every waking moment would somehow change so I did
not feel as though I could never again be in a public place without crying.
At 6 months after my son died, I hoped for a reprieve. I no longer could stand the pain and I saw
my doctor. I knew he must have an answer to my question, “how long will I feel like this”. He
did not.
I had begun attending Bereaved Parents meetings and hardly spoke a word at the first meeting. I
could not stop talking at the second meeting. I had found the glimmer of hope that I had been
searching for. I hoped this all consuming grief would never again happen to my family. knew what he was feeling. I hoped to be able to help him and his I could not.
I then realized that all of the things I had hoped for had begun to come about but had taken a lot
of time. I hoped my chidren could hold on long enough for time to help and heal. They
When my son died, I never hoped for joy. I could not imagine joy as part of our lives ever again,
but there is joy.
When my son was a baby, a toddler, a young child, a teenager and a young man, I watched over
him. I thought I would watch over him for my entire life. I was wrong. I hope with all my heart
that he is watching over me.
I now have the understanding I hoped for. I have peace. I finally sleep. I find joy every time I see
a tall, slim young man with sandy colored hair. I do not cry as often.
So there is hope. We all have a future; we have memories. No matter how long our children were
part of our lives, we have memories. The first time I realized that joy would one day be part of
my life was the day I remembered a trick my son played on his little brother. He gave him a glass
of buttermilk instead of regular milk and pretended it was a mistake. We have laughed so many
times about this little story. I can still see the twinkle in his eye. I can hear my son and daughter
as he made up names for her to tease her. Oh, how he loved to laugh. I remember the look on his
face when I discovered the snake he put in my garden terrarium.
I know the joy I feel every time I think of my son, share a memory with someone or look at
pictures of him will never change.
My hope as a Mother is that we all will find peace and cherish the joy our children have brought
to our lives.Joshua you are a perfect son, I miss you but I promise you I will forever love and miss you I saw you last week in the clouds with your dirtbike jesus was on the back!! I know you are at pease bigboy mommy loves you.
February 11, 2011
Laurie, Jim & Vicki, Noah, Chelsea, and Jordan and the rest of the family -just want to say that Josh will always be someone that I remember for his joyful, kind, fun loving, and humorous spirit. He was so darn likable and I am grateful to have known him and that Joey and Caroline got to grow up in the same neighborhood with him. I have many fond memories of our children's childhood. My heart is filled with love and sorrow for all of you.
February 06, 2011
Joshua Smallwood. My homie. He would always call and make sure my lazy butt wasn't missing out on anything. He was known and loved by everyone. Enjoyed nothing more then just hanging out with a couple of cold miller high life 32oz. The life of the party. Beer pong champ! Josh would often give me the much needed reminder not to be scared of life, to ignore everything else and just have some fun! He showed me how to live! Really live. We would mob to seven eleven, or shop in go and he would really take his time picking which beer was most suitable for the night, and if it was a big night he'd want to splurge on a foam ice chest, ya er what?! No matter what was going on, where we ended up, life was good! The last time I talked to him we planned on having dinner in Stanford, and I just spent most of the conversation complaining to him what series of "bad" events had happened to me recently. He told me really Jill, your worrying about that stuff! I didn't understand. What is most important is spending time with those who love you, and Josh had always understood that. I miss being able to call you and hang out at any time! Till we have our dinner Josh! Love you!
May 16, 2010
may gods arms be wrapped around your entire family in this painful time
April 19, 2010
there is nothing really i can say on this that has not only been said . to the parents brothers and sisters of josh i am deeply sorry for ur lose.josh u were an awesome friend i will never forget u in and out of ur battle.i still have the texas hat u gave me bro even though i dont like texas it means a lot to me.i had the privilege of meeting u through joey i am glad i met u joshua. if there is one thing i gained from being ur friend and seein u in ur battle is not to moan and groan about little stuff. i seen u struggling to stand and hurting and u shrugged it off like it was nothing.u really inspired me josh always will be remembered in my life and heart ur friend sincerly jason the bull... B.a.M i miss u smallwood......jason metcalf
April 15, 2010
Laurie and Jim (Noah, Chelsea and Jordon, too). When I think of Josh, I think of him smiling. He was such a nice kid! As a young adult, I would see him at the car wash and around town and he always had a nice word to say and a smile on his face. He would ask how I was and always ask me to say hi to Ian. As younger kids and when we lived on Woodland Street, he, Jordan and Ian would go all over the neighborhood on bikes, roller blades and skateboards. He loved coming to our house and jumping on the trampoline and drinking koolaid. Whenever he and Jordon would come over, they'd immediately open the refrigerator and look for koolaid and then for something sweet to eat! Josh was so cute, he was epitome of the typical American boy with that white blonde hair and blue eyes. And, oh the antics that he, Ian and Jordon got into! That alone could fill a book! But mostly what I remember of Josh is his smile, even his smile as a young child and missing teeth! He will be greatly missed and I am so sad that I won't see that wonderful smile of his anymore on this earth! But I know someday (hopefully a long time from now in earthly time), I will see it again! Lots of love to you all -
April 11, 2010
Dear Joshua, Your suffering is over, and now you are in a better place beside the Angels. My constant love, prayer and thoughs are with you. God bless you. - Your Grandma Joie
March 09, 2010
PRAYER/POEM (attributed to Mary Frye)

I give you this one thought to keep -

I am with you still - I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awake in the morning's hush,

I am the swift, uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone -

I am with you still - in each new dawn.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room,

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there. I did not die.

(With Much Love from Joanne & Margarita,
Cochise Stronghold, Arizona)
March 09, 2010
Josh, you are in a better place. The times we had together will forever be etched in my mind. Our world has been dealth a severe blow with you being gone. I am so sorry I did not spend more time with you at the end. Love, Steve
March 08, 2010
Karon & I remember the several times Josh & his brothers were riding M/C at the St. Johns River and they would come by hungry and thirty and caked with dirt. They would have lunch and something to drink and off they would go riding again. Josh was always so polite and aways said thanks. He was a great young man. He always had a smile on his face.
March 08, 2010
To Laurie;
When you share memories of Joshua, your face simply lights up. Your Love for him is immeasurable, as is your loss in his passing. :(, Love hurts. I hear your pain. I see your heartache. But, Oh, how the goodness of Joshua's life shines through your memories. May those memories that emit that sparkle in your eye remain. May those memories that testify to a life that was, remain and remind us all that through such Love , life really never ends. I'm sorry I never met Joshua, but I do know he couldn't have helped but know how much he was loved. Thank you for sharing your life and memories with me. Ang
March 07, 2010
Laurie and Jim. What a Loss, no words can help at this time. Jim as a Father you step up to the Plate. You did everything you could. He fought a hard Battle and you help him. I can remember the time he spent at the lake and cought that big Fish and ate it all by himself. We will meet agin. Your GrandFather.
March 07, 2010
OH how I miss you,
love always
February 20, 2010
what it do baby boo?! i love you and miss you more and more everyday. especially your laugh :) ill see you one day. xoxoxo
February 19, 2010
Laurie,Jim,Noah,Chelsea and Jordon,our heartfelt sympathy goes out to all of you. . .We didn't have the opportunity to get to know josh as an adult, but our memories of him running around as a child happy ascould be and always into something....brings a warm smile to my heart. . . .Our thoughts and prayers will be with you all. . .Beverly, Anthony and Sheena Castro. .God Bless you all.
February 18, 2010
To the entire Smallwood family, my heartfelt sympathy and prayers go out to you.
February 16, 2010
Laurie, Jim, Chelsea and Jordan:

Josh is such an Amazing Soul! I find myself often thinking about him and how he made a difference in everyone's lives, including mine. He's such a positive and inspiring human being. I wish I could have talked to him one last time and tell him how much I enjoyed knowing him and that I love him very much and how proud I am of him.

I remember seeing Josh once at Jack in the Box. It was a Sat. night sometime after midnight. I was in drivethru getting a midnight snack and to my suprise I hear someone yelling out my name... "Myyyyyrrrrrna." To my surprise, it was Josh. He was in the car infront of mine. I was sooo happy to see him. I had not seen him since I last babysat for you, Jim. Wow! It felt really good seeing him and chit chatting for a bit. He was sooo happy!! We were both very happy to see each other. I remember telling him to drive safe and to go straight home. I didn't want him driving around this late at night (that was the babysitter in me). :)

Chelsea and Jordan, you guys are always in my heart and I love you guys very dearly. You guys are Amazing Children and Friends. I wish you always the BEST! I miss and love Josh as well. He was incredible!

Laurie and Jim:

Thank you for having given me the opportunity to babysit for you and getting to know your Amazing children. You guys are great and lucky parents to have such incredible children!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your families. God Bless.
February 15, 2010
Laurie, Jim, Noah, Chelsea, Jordan & extended family - I am at a loss for words as I have not experienced the loss of a child or sibling. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. I do know that Joshua Ray brought sunshine wherever he went and was even able to pull off lighting and warming the sky on a day that would have normally been rainy and gloomy. Maybe that was Josh's way of letting us know that he is up there at it again...doing what he does best(smile).
I realize that nothing can ever fill the void he has left and that you will think of him every day. My prayer is for you all to have peace and be comforted as you go through this difficulty and that you gain the strength to embrace those you still have the blessing to be with, especially Jordan. I realize that there are step siblings that are grieving also but he was Josh's baby brother and will need extra care and attention to adjust.
To the Dawson side of the family - blood does not a relative is the love in your hearts and I know that you all loved him deeply. Cherish each other and be blessed.
If there is anything that I or my family or my resources can ever do for you, please let me know. I am not just saying this in passing - I really mean it.
May God be with all of you..

Warmest Wishes,
February 13, 2010
Jim, Vicki, and Family, I love you all very much and my love is with you always, Josh was a breath of fresh air always, and MJ will never forget big cousin Josh who taught him how to golf.

Love, Shannon and MJ
February 13, 2010
I love you BabyBoo!!! you will always be in my heart no matter what.. I know your not suffering anymore and thats what keeps me smiling.. see you one day babyboo..!!!
February 13, 2010
Jim & Vicki,

Our prayers go out to you and your family...Lester/Leslie Moon
February 13, 2010
My memories of you take me to a time of a exchange students, swimming parties, and trips to Santa Cruz! Josh I am saddened that you are no longer hear as it is so clear what a blessing you were and are to all. But now you have awaken to such a glorious place. We will all be counting the days till we see that bright and loving face we remember so well once again.

Laurie, Jim & Vicki and family, our love and prayers are with you all!
February 13, 2010
I am sorry to hear of Josh's passing. He was a great friend during the year I stayed in Visalia and a wonderful person to be around. I will always remember the fun we had when he and some friends cheered me up when I was sad and made sure I never felt too homesick. He will be greatly missed!
February 12, 2010
I am sorry to read about the loss of your son... your family will be in our prayers!
The McKinney Family, Visalia, CA
February 12, 2010
Jim and Laurie- You raised a beautiful child! He was a ray of sunshine with a beautiful smile that was unforgetable from the moment you met him. He touched so many in his short years on earth- I'm sure he is continuing to make a difference in heaven! God bless both of you and your families at this most difficult time.

Linda Lindsey
February 12, 2010

We are saddened to hear of your loss. Our prayers are with you.

Steve and Carol
February 12, 2010
Dear Laurie, Jim and family. We are so sorry to hear of Joshua's passing. We send our Love and our tears, he will be greatly missed.
We Love you.
February 12, 2010
I was so saddened to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you, as my heart goes out to your family and loved ones in this difficult time. Gather close and find comfort in each other as you grieve.
February 12, 2010
It was an honor and pleasure to have met and loved such a personable and fun-loving young man such as Josh. I'll never forget you!
February 11, 2010
ive known josh for a long time, not to long after i met him i stood in line with him at red carpet car wash applying for a job (we both got it) in that time we got really close, hung out everyday for a period of time. im so sad to hear that your gone josh yet so happy that your in a better place. im really gonna miss you. you have been such a good friend to me.
February 11, 2010
I took care of Joshua over a year ago, he was a pleasure to take care of. The love I saw between his father and him was so very touching, I will always remember him. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family at this time.
Melissa G.
Kaweah Delta
February 11, 2010

We attended church together many years ago at Visalia First Assembly. I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your son. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Tonya Harden
February 11, 2010
Josh was a close friend of my brothers, and I had the pleasure of meeting him several times when I visited family. He was always polite, and kind, even when it became obvious he did not feel well. He fought a very courageous battle, and I know that he is in the comfort of his Saviour. He will be missed, but we will hold his memory close. My thoughts and prayers are with those who loved him.
February 11, 2010
Jim, Vicki and Family-
Our deepest sympathies for your loss, but you are blessed to be assured that Josh is with his Heavenly Father.
Galen and Angel Brummer
February 11, 2010
Goodnight, Josh, we'll see you in the morning.
February 11, 2010
Josh brought such joy and laughter into our home and into our lives. We are so grateful for the times we shared and the wonderful memories that will last forever. Josh's laughter and smile were infectious even through his illness. He showed us all such strength and courage, he truly was an amazing person and friend to us all. Daniel, Carrisa and Josh feel as if they lost their brother and best friend and Dave & I feel like we've lost a son. We all truly loved him. Our time with him may not have been as long as we had liked but the times we had were amazing and he was a "gift".

Our thoughts and prayers are with his family and all his friends that they may find strength & comfort in knowing just how loved Josh is and that now he is at peace.

Forever in our hearts ~ We love you Josh!

The Green's
Patti, Dave, Joshua, Daniel & Carrisa
February 11, 2010
During the last year, we have had the pleasure to meet and become friends with Josh while treating him at Sequoia Regional Cancer Center.

What an awesome youngman!
We all loved him.
He has touched each of our lives.

Our thoughts and prayers are with his family.

Delsie,Stephanie,Senovia,Katrina,Anna, Missy,Destani,Grace,Amy,Raquel,Silvia,
Maria,Theresa,Dr.Hsu and Dr.Havard
February 11, 2010
My children and I are so very sorry for your loss. We saw Josh very little the last few years but rejoice that we will see him in eternity! Love and prayers to you and your family. What a message your family love has for all who know Josh! Teresa Woods
February 11, 2010
To know he is with God, is the greatest comfort a family can have. my heart and prayers go out to his family.
February 11, 2010
I can't believe your gone. The love you had for your family and friends will carry us through till we see you again. NO PANTSING ANYONE IN HEAVEN! I love you Josh and your family very much. ~Love Debbi Nichols~
February 11, 2010
Joshua,you are a giver & you have touched my life as well. My blessing & treasure Joshua gave to me, was that every time he would spot me, no matter what, when or where, always came over to me whether way across the other side of the room or parking lot just to say "Hi AAnn" remember me?...(for he was growing up way too quickly and afraid I would not recognize him)....And with all eagerness wanting to speak with me. As we proceeded with hugs, I told him how happy I was to see him, how proud I was of him and how good looking he was!

To His Family:
"Missing him" and praying for his family that God in HIS faithfulness will comfort you with HIS perfect peace.

"So we are always confident,even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. That is why we live by believing and not by seeing. Yes, we are fully confident and we would rather be away from these bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:6-8

Even so,"See you soon Joshua", as I know you will once again go out of your way "on that day" to come greet me as you use to.
February 11, 2010
February 11, 2010
One more Angel in Heaven.
February 11, 2010
My condolences to the family.

Micki Katzenmoyer
February 11, 2010
I spent many years babysitting him and his siblings. My first memory of Josh was when he was in diapers. He was always a joker, full of smiles, and lots of hugs. He was very appreciative and eager to try something new. I was so sorry to hear of the news but thankful that I had a chance to know him.

My heart goes out to the Smallwood Family during this difficult time. Please know that we are thinking of you and our hearts are here for your support. Josh, we love you!

February 11, 2010
I have known Josh for the past 2 1/2 years and he is such an inspiration to those fighting cancer. He fought the toughest battle of his life and in the end, God took him home so that he wouldn't have to hurt anymore. Josh was such a kind, genuine person and his smile would light up a room. Although I haven't known him as long as many people close to the family, I'm honored to say I knew Josh. I was able to hug him last week and that meant the world to me. My heart goes out to his family as there simply are no words to express the sadness I feel over his passing.
Dawn Bliler
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