I will never understand why you were taken from us so suddenly. I still remember the night I got the call...mom screaming and crying, telling me you were gone. I held the phone and fell to the ground. I could still hear her hysterical voice calling out to me. Part of my mind must have registered what I first heard and then everything shut down. I couldn't talk, I was speechless and praying that moment wasn't happening. Then the drive there, sitting in the passenger seat convincing myself that it just couldn't be.....until of course we turned on your street and I saw the cars, ambulance and police my heart sank. I was forced to accept that something had gone terribly wrong. Finally when they brought you to us everything went flat, we cried, mom, dad and I. All we could do was hold one another and of course hold and kiss you...hoping somehow this was all a bad dream and we could somehow bring you back to us. You looked at peace...as if you were sleeping. Sadly our worst nightmare became reality as we watched them take you away. My mind and my body full of anger, my world so cold and dark. The next few days saying goodbye to you and watching your mom and babies in pain at the funeral is a blur. Part of me still can't accept that your gone. The tears are endless, the pain so deep. Why did this happen?
I miss you baby brother and the memories we shared. If only I could tell you that I love you one more time again.
Nothing makes sense right now, not sure it ever will. I just need something from you.....anything to let me know you are okay.
Miss you forever and always, your sis