Somehow, we have officially made it through a year of firsts without you. As I sit here tonight to write to you, I can't help but wonder how it feels like it was only last week as I sat beside your bed while you took your last breath. At other times, it seems like several months since I saw you. For some people, holidays and special gatherings may be the time they miss a loved one the most. But for me, my heart is torn in two every time I am at your house with Gram and you are not there. I miss calling you just because I was bored or to see how you were doing. Some days I can talk about you to others and it makes me feel like you are still here. Other times, the slightest reminder of you makes me want to sob. I could go on forever about how much I miss you and how I feel but I am sure you already know that. Even though we got to be with you during the last hours of your life, it wasn't enough time. But, when is saying goodbye to a loved one ever enough time? I have learned that when someone so close to you dies, your life is no longer the same. You basically adapt to a new life without that person. Pretty much every milestone, achievement, and positive experience in my life that I can recall was either because of your guidance or your support. You even treated Bryan like he was one of your grandchildren. He thought the world of you, as well. You taught him so much in the last 14 years. You two were different in some ways but alike in many. I guess that is why you got along so well. And, I can't even touch on how much of an impact you have made on Cooper and Drake. Cooper writes you notes and posts them at your house, but I am sure you already know this:) And, Drake, even though he only just turned 3, calls you "Memaw's Pappy" so we know he is referring to you. He sometimes gets teary eyed and says he misses you. I couldn't imagine life without you before you died, and I still can't imagine life without you now. It is still all so fresh in my mind...every detail of your last few days, the heartache and the change to our lives. As we embark on the second year without you here on Earth, I pray that our hearts get a little lighter, that we are able to get by more than a day or two without crying, and that God allows us to still feel your presence with us. I hope you are watching over us and we are making you proud. I love you so much and miss you more than I could ever say.