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Do-It-Yourself Obituary

Shutterstock / Kunal Mehta

Ken Akers was "so old he remembered black and white television, gas for 10 cents a gallon and Mickey Mantle's rookie season."

Ken Akers wrote his own obituary and gave it to a close friend for safekeeping before he "kicked the bucket" June 1, 2011, at his home in Charlotte, North Carolina. 

One must assume it was the close friend who inserted the date and place of death. However, the friend did not include Akers’ age, leaving that tidbit to the deceased to explain in his own words:

He was old. So old he remembered black and white television, gas for 10 cents a gallon and Mickey Mantle's rookie season.

It’s hard to pick a favorite line in this funny obit written by a guy who sometimes won "awards for his occasionally coherent writing."

Akers was a hopeless romantic and a hapless husband.

He was married twice. Neither marriage produced any children or any particularly fond memories.

He always wanted to be taller.

Donations in his memory may be made ... to your favorite disease. 

And then there were his thoughts about self-excommunication and bad knees.

We hope Akers is one with, as he put it, "the someone or something that somehow started everything." 

Thanks for some fine and fun final words.

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This post was contributed by Amy Rabideau Silvers, who writes obituaries for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and recently won two awards for obituary writing from the Society of Professional Obituary Writers.