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Mark Twain: Grandfather of American Wit

Wikimedia Commons / A.F. Bradley

Mark Twain: Grandfather of American Wit

Born Samuel Langhorne Clemens on Nov. 30, 1835, Mark Twain is remembered best as the author of "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" and "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," but he also made a name for himself as the pre-eminent speaker and humorist of his time. His essays, speeches and personal letters are full of his unique wit, providing readers with laughter and thought-provoking quotes that continue to stand the test of time, long after his death April 21, 1910. We've collected some of his gems below. Share them with your friends and tell us your favorites in the comments section below.

Honesty is the best policy — when there is money in it.

"Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it."

"The funniest things are the forbidden."

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."

"Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any."

"I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position."

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

"I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough."

"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."

"A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

"I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever."

"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest."

"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar."

Familiarity breeds contempt — and children.

"Familiarity breeds contempt – and children."