Roberta Keosheyan

Obituary
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Spoiler Alert: This is not your typical obituary. If you were looking for one, you've come to the wrong place, spunky trunks*.

Roberta was clear that she wanted to be remembered as she lived: With laughter and honesty and love, not somberness and melancholy. If she thought for a second we were writing a typical "bummer of an obit" for her, she would be rolling her eyes, giving us a look of mock-disgust and probably be asking in that sort-of-joking-but-sort-of-not way of hers, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

So, rather than an obituary, think of this as the first of many loving remembrances. Many more will follow, including a Celebration of Life and a special tree planting at Ann's Grove on the Mary Carter Greenway. Details on these are at the bottom of this piece.

As we began to write this, a fact about Roberta started bubbling up that might surprise some of you: Roberta loved to play games of all types, but one of her favorites was Dungeons and Dragons.

She was among the first die-hard fans of the game back when it was introduced, proud to play with the "nerdiest" people at her schools (That is, before it was cool to be a nerd, which wouldn't really happen until the late 90s/early 00s).

At first, we weren't sure why this memory stood out and seemed so appropriate to spotlight. But, then it started to dawn on us. In many ways, both explicit and symbolic, it typified the way Roberta lived: Fearlessly.

One of the things Roberta spoke of with the greatest pride as an adult was that, even at an early age, she railed against the idea of befriending only those in the same clique, or "circle", or "social group". She hung-out and made friends with anyone she damn-well pleased, thank you very much, and really didn't care what anyone thought about it. Love had no bounds.

This beautiful aspect of Roberta's personality was one of the things that made her such an amazing companion to quest through life with. She saw and valued people for who they truly were, not the labels, or titles or stereotypes society tried to place on them.

To put it in D&D parlance, she was that paladin/fighter combo that most of us aspire to, but rarely reach: steadfast, trusted, brave, and ready at a moment's notice to stand up for truth, to uphold justice, and to help people when they needed it most.

In her final battle, Roberta faced off against one of the most terrible foes there is: triple-negative, metastatic breast cancer - a ruthless killer that breaks every rule, no matter how well you roll the dice. Roberta fought valiantly, as she always did, but ultimately lost that battle. She left this world on September 18, 2018, peacefully and surrounded by family. She will always be remembered as the brave, poised, beautiful, funny, charismatic, full-of-grace person that she was.

She was born in 1965 in Tarrytown, New York to Ann and Robert Feeney. A Colorado transplant, Roberta grew up in Littleton, swimming and diving at the pool and generally raising hell with the rest of the Bow Mar South kids and her siblings Mike, Kate, and Matt.

Not satisfied with attending just one higher ed institution, she went to three, ultimately earning a BFA from the College of Santa Fe.

Roberta had an innate sense of style all her own. From clothes, to décor, to hair color (remember that burgundy cellophane?), Roberta made the rules, broke them, made new ones... and always looked good doing it.

Her work-life was eclectic, running the gamut of dance instructor, private investigator (yep, that's true, and she was damn good at it too), top-performing sales executive, luxury home builder, sleep expert, interior design consultant, and many more in between.

You might say she grabbed onto each new adventure, as she did everything, as if it were the last pound cake on the shelf.

She loved karaoke and could absolutely crush "Shadows of the Night" by Pat Benatar.

We're pretty sure she had ESP, since she could inexplicably know when things were about to happen, or were already happening, even when she wasn't there. There is at least a possibility that she was a CIA shadow operative. It wouldn't surprise us one bit.

Roberta is survived by her loving husband of 24 years, Robert Keosheyan, and her sons, Connor "Bonner" Keosheyan, Greg "Never Got a Nickname" Harezlak, and her daughter Philippa "Favorite Child" Keosheyan (Yes, Flip wrote that last bit)**.

A celebration of life and love honoring Roberta will be held on Saturday, October 27. On the following Monday, a tree will be planted in Roberta's memory at Ann's Grove along the Mary Carter Greenway in Littleton.

If you would like to participate in either event or any of the other remembrances we are planning, please contact Robert Keosheyan at [email protected]

In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made in Roberta's name to the Colorado Cancer Foundation (www.coloradocancerfoundation.org) and/or The Hardy Project (www.thehardyproject.com).

Light and Love. For Roberta. Forever.

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* Authors Note #1: For those of you who may not be aware, "Spunky Trunks" was one of Roberta's favorite terms of endearment and one of our fondest memories of the childlike, adorable part of her personality she showed only on rare occasions.

** Authors Note #2: Roberta's friends and family take comfort, knowing that she never had to learn the shape of the President's penis or see (another) accused sexual assailant elected to the Supreme Court. And we know that she is in a better place, rolling her eyes at this non-obituary. We hope we did her sparkling wit and endless sense of humor proud.
Published in Colorado Community Newspapers from Oct. 18 to Nov. 17, 2018
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