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Donald Graves Obituary
He was born on Sept. 11, 1930 in Fall River, Mass., the son of Wilfred Graves, a school principal, and Marion Hiller, a nurse. He received a bachelor's in English from Bates College in 1952, where working in the dining hall, he met his wife of 56 years, Mary "Betty" Elizabeth Lewis.
After spending four years as a member of the United States Coast Guard, they moved to Fairhaven, Mass., where he began teaching at the East Fairhaven Elementary School in 1956. He became principal in 1958 and obtained his master's in education in 1959 from Bridgewater State College in Massachusetts.
He then moved with his family of five children to begin a new career in educational ministry at the Hamburg Presbyterian Church in New York. In 1973 the University at Buffalo awarded him his doctorate in education. He began his professorial career at the University of New Hampshire in the Early Childhood Program.
In 1976 he founded the Writing Process Laboratory at UNH, where he remained until retiring in 1992. His research with elementary children at Atkinson Academy gave him the inspiration to write his first book, entitled "Writing: Teachers & Children at Work." Ultimately, he published a total of 26 books in 25 years, not only professional texts, but also a book of poetry dedicated to his grandchildren.
Don was internationally known for his work in children's writing. His deep conviction that children wanted to write pervaded his teachings and radically changed expectations for what young children could accomplish if they were treated as writers. His abiding faith in teachers' ability to make sound instructional decisions also inspired countless educators to revolutionize their teaching.
He was a memorable speaker, known for his storytelling skill, his ability to mimic student voices and his human warmth.
He retired in 1992 to his mountainside home in Jackson, N.H., spending many happy hours as conservator of 14 acres of land, burning brush with his grandchildren and toasting marshmallows over the coals.
He created intricate bedtime stories for his children about "Emu," the talking gorilla. His home office was designed with the delight of his grandchildren in mind, creating a balcony which served as their camp site each Christmas.
He traveled extensively with his wife by bicycle, boat and foot, logging more than 1,000 miles through Europe and taking many photos, which he developed in his basement darkroom.
Don was an avid sports fan and athlete. He began running in the 60's long before it was fashionable. His children often had to answer embarrassing questions about why their father was running down the street in spandex. He was thrilled to have his beloved Red Sox finally win the World Series twice in his lifetime.
He is survived by his wife Betty; daughter Marion Graves Chang and her husband Cheming; daughter Alyce Graves; daughter Caroline Graves Hodsdon and her husband Jack; son William Graves; daughter Laura Graves and her husband Bill Needelman; brother George Graves and his wife Joan; eight grandchildren, and his first great grandchild, expected in the spring.
A memorial service to celebrate his life will be held Oct. 16, 2010 at 9:30 a.m. at the East End Community School, 195 North St., Portland, ME 04101.
In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to The Telling Room (The Donald H. Graves Fund), 225 Commercial St., Suite 201, Portland, ME 04101, www.tellingroom.org.
Arrangements are by Independent Death Care, 660 Brighton Ave. Portland, ME, 04102, www.independentdeathcare.com.
@Online guest book:Visit www.fosters.com/obits for an online guest book.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Donald Graves
Newton Baker
September 28, 2022
Anniversary? Yes, but every day I still write, though retired from teaching, thanks to Don Graves. I have his books in sight and near at hand. Some great writing influences in my life, but non beats the clear, gentle insistence about writings importance and possibility than Don Graves teachings! Running, Red Sox, Writing and DON GRAVES forever!!
Martha Decker
September 28, 2019
It is lovely to be able to have a forum here to remember and express my enduring gratitude for Donald Graves and his inspiration which lives on in me and many others! I had just been thinking of him (isn't that interesting!) and telling about his work that led to my own courage in writing and facilitating writing with young and old. His great spirit and real presence of place is very much still with me and I know full well that my own work continues because of his absolute confidence in the creative process and the power of focusing on our own and others' strengths.
Vicki Mueller
October 31, 2010
Donald Graves is my hero. His books have been a constant guide as I try and lead my students to discover the power of their words. He has provided comfort and encouragement to me as a teacher and a writer.
Imagine my surprise years ago at the Iowa State Reading conference to find him behind me in the breakfast line. He joined my friend and myself for breakfast and a chat. I was so taken with his ease and "human-ness." I will cherish that memory and try to carry on by influencing my students similarly to the way he influenced me.
Karen Haag
October 29, 2010
I met Don at a conference in Seattle. I was one of 12 lucky teachers who pulled a ticket to eat lunch with him. I will always remember his kind, gentle spirit. No one observing that room would have been able to distinguish the mentor from the mentees. He talked to each of us as if we were family, answering our questions without a hint of frustration. I can imagine he'd answered those same questions a thousand times. I came back inspired to be myself, to continue to learn, to risk change in my classroom, to not worry so much. I actually summon that memory whenever I feel confused or downhearted. As a result, I will teach others as he taught me.
Chris Duthie
October 18, 2010
He taught me to be a learner/writer and helped me guide my students. What greater gift? His light shines on and on.
Maxine Bone
October 18, 2010
When I was an adult as a parent, teacher, and learner, Don empowered me to read aloud my writing to a small group of four at a small school in Martha's Vineyard. He did this by being a sincere, genuine, and deeply caring listener. This small moment together changed my writing and teaching and learning life. When we met over the years, he always greeted me with a HUGE and GENTLE hug. I will miss you Don but you remain always in my mind and heart.
Maxine Bone (Toronto, Canada)
Sheryl Kreps
October 16, 2010
Donald Graves was a big part of my literacy education at the University of Pennsylvania. I even got a copy of his doctoral dissertation. We have lost a great educator and a leader in our field! His contributions will be greatly missed.
Sigmund Boloz
October 13, 2010
The lives of millions of children will be forever touched because he chose to write. He believed in children, but more importantly he believed in the power of the teacher. I continue to spread your lessons.
Newton Baker
October 12, 2010
The 3 R's: Red Sox, Running, and 'Riting. I will love him always for those shared passions, for changing my writing, and enabling my teaching and learning with children. I am thankful to him to feel myself one of thousands inspired to carry on his ideas forever!
Melissa Carpenter
October 11, 2010
Last Monday, I began my week writing. It gives me energy. Following the insights of my hero, Donald Graves, I shared my writing with my students. I wrote with my students. I shared Don's writing which explained why it is good for me and my students to write together. I got lost in my writing with my students the whole week. Our writing doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be focused, and it certainly does not have to be spelled correctly. Right now it just needs to be written. Our stories are bursting to get out in anyway possible.
At the end of my week, I sat on the carpet with twenty plus 2nd graders as we went around the circle sharing ideas for possible stories about the things, and people we have loved, lost, found and celebrated recording them on our heart maps. I came home enthused and invigorated talking about the great writing we had done.
It was one of the best days I have had in my teaching career. So it was with great sadness that I learned that same night Don had passed away.
In Writing: Teachers & Children at Work Don said, "Children want to write. They want to write the first day they attend school. This is no accident. Before they went to school they marked up walls, pavements, newspapers with crayons, chalk, pens or pencils, anything that makes a mark. The child's marks say, I am."
I had the great honor and joy to meet and chat with Donald Graves each year I attended the annual NCTE conference. His words and writing invigorate my writing and instruction. I treasure the brief moments I was able to spend in his company, his joyous smile, his gracious and welcoming personality, and the wisdom he so freely shared.
I write in honor of Don because writing brings me joy. I write to teach my students how one can continue to live through writing.
http://melvez.wordpress.com/2010/10/10/i-am/
Sharon Miller
October 11, 2010
The Desk
Mother buys
a cheap wooden desk
painted bright orange
with two flimsy drawers
that rattle
when I pull them open.
There are two open shelves
on the side
which can hold
about twenty books.
Mother says, "You can have
this desk in your room
if you want it."
Before the desk came,
I only slept in my room,
made my bed,
picked up my dirty clothes,
and kept only my Sunday clothes
on a hanger in the closet.
I sit at the desk,
rub my hands over the surface,
pull open the top drawer,
and put a box of Crayolas,
and a few pencils inside.
I shut the drawer
and I like the
sound of the thunk
that says the desk is mine.
I stand up beside the desk
and feel the silence of empty shelves.
I pick up the four books I own,
run my fingers down the bindings,
and shelve them in alphabetical order.
Now I have a library in my room.
I sit down, pull open
the next drawer,
bigger and deeper
than the first.
There, I place my maps
of Europe, Asia, and the United States
and my stamp book
with stamps from the whole world.
Now, any place on earth is in my room.
(from Graves, Donald (1996) Baseball, Snakes, and Summer Squash: Poems About Growing Up, Boyd's Mill Press)
_________________
Before Donald Graves came into my professional life, I only stood before my students and hoped they could see what I envisioned for them. Afterwards, I could articulate the vision and help them make their desks their own. My classroom was no longer where they came because they had to, but where they came because their voices were recognized and honored and they wanted to share those voices.
Thank you, Donald Graves, for your guidance and for the possibilities you opened for me and my students. You will be missed, but your work will always light the way for us.
Rebecca Hoey
October 11, 2010
Donald Graves changed the way I teach writing, and the way I write. I thank him for his legacy. His influence will continue to touch our young writers. Thank you.
Sharon Baumgarten
October 11, 2010
Donald Graves was my inspiration to share my own writing with children. The freedom his research gave me was a guide I used in creating intricate stories with my students showing them that writing was a joyful venture to be shared with all.
Muriel Horowitz
October 9, 2010
Donald Graves will forever be my guru. His wisdom in person and through his books greatly influenced my professional life. While I'm sure he has long forgotten meeting me, I will never forget him. I had the great privilege of meeting Donald Graves back in the 80’s. One of the highlights of my teaching career was when I took part in a Ford Foundation grant given to Lucy Calkins and the Writing Project. I got to do research with Lucy, Georgia Heard and other members of the Writing Project. And when I presented my work at a conference, I was awed and humbled to share the same space as Donald Graves. He was most gracious and lots of fun! My sincere sympathy to his family. He gave this world many great gifts and will be missed and remembered by many.
October 9, 2010
For years now, a picture of Don Grves has hung in my classroom. Each year,without fail, a new student asks who that "smiling man." Each year, I gather the children and pay tribute, letting yet another group of children know that he was the person who reminded me, each day, of the possibilities of writing with children in the elementary classroom. Donald Graves has been and continues to be a gift to educators.
Ann Keefe, Durham, NH
Maryanne Malecki
October 9, 2010
A true teacher lives on through his disciples, and Donald Graves' are legion. Thank you for your insight and clarity.
October 8, 2010
At Don's invitation, I spent just over four wonderful months in the first half of 1986 as a Visiting Scholar in his Writing lab at UNH. Some years before, I had been in the audience at a large conference here in Sydney when Don made his first public appearance outside of North America. His impact was electrifying.
He asked me to work with him in the seminars he ran for his PhD students. I myself was an academic for nearly 12 years. Don was the only academic I ever knew who insisted that his students study the writings of his critics - indeed he included these writings in the list of readings that students were required to study in preparation for each seminar.
One memory of my time with Don stands out. It was the morning of the 28th of January, 1986. Don's secretary burst into the room where he and I were teaching to say that one of Don's daughters had just rung to tell Don to turn on the TV. We were confronted with the horror of the Challenger disaster. Don was particularly distressed because, like a number of his colleagues at UNH, he knew and had real affection for Christa McAullife, the young school teacher from Concord who was on that doomed flight. Don's grief was indescribable as he tried to explain to me what a wonderful person Christa had been.
Over and above his remarkable research and fabulous teaching qualities, this giant of a man who transformed the teaching of writing in school classrooms in so many countries was a truly fantastic human being. So many of those who have already contributed to this Guest Book have stressed this truth.
I was informed of Don's death on the evening before I delivered a keynote address on the morning of the 30th September (USA time, 29th September) at a major international conference hosted by the Australian Council of Educational Leaders (ACEL) here in Sydney.
So I commenced my speech by dedicating it to Don. Not knowing how many in the audience - quite a number of countries were represented at the conference - I spoke about Don, what he had done and, above all, who he had been. As soon as I mentioned the words "has died" there was a very audible reverbration of gasps of shock and sadness that went right across the auditorium and from the bottom to the top. Wonderfully, in 2010 Donald Graves was still remembered with admiration and affection within the community of educational leaders.
Some years ago when Don learned that I had been afflicted with ALS (also known as Lou Gehrig's in the USA and Motor Neurone Disease in the UK, New Zealand and Australia) he wrote me a beautiful email of support and encouragement. Diagnosed in 1996 and given only 3 to 5 years to live, I told Don in my reply that I was still working full time and "keeping on, keeping on".
Without question I will not be the only educator in the world who will be keeping on keeping on championing and sustaining Don's magnificent contribution to teaching and learning. And those of us who were privileged to know Don and call him "friend" will never forget him and his impact on our lives.
Paul Brock, Sydney, Australia
Janet Fagal
October 6, 2010
Donald Graves and his bountiful store of ideas and wisdom will live on. His writing, his speaking and just being in his presence was inspiring to me; and continues to this day. Education has lost a vibrant soul who touched so many many lives. Godspeed, Donald Grave, you were one of a kind. We were so lucky to have a giant like you walking among us. My condolences to all who knew and loved Don.
A grateful teacher,
Dixie Dellinger
October 6, 2010
Ever the loving and wise teacher, Donald Graves once was talking about how little kids, in writing their stories, would always end with, "And then we got home." If they left that off, he told how some of their classmates always would inquire anxiously, "Did you get home?"
Donald Graves has ended his story. He is home.
Dixie Dellinger
Dixie Dellinger
October 6, 2010
Ever the loving and wise teacher, Donald Graves once was talking about how little kids, in writing their stories, would end with, "And then we got home." If they left that off, he told, some of their classmates always would inquire anxiously, "Did you get home?"
Donald Graves has ended his story. He is home.
Martha Decker
October 6, 2010
Blessings on your way, dearest Donald Graves. I am certain you are very present with us still, though unseen, nevertheless smiling, reminding us, that "yes, you can." My life, and the lives of my students are better because of you and your leadership to keep "LIFE" in learning! Martha Miller Decker (Morehead, Kentucky)
Sam Watson
October 6, 2010
For many people, Don was an unassuming hero; I saw him as a saint among us.
If heaven is anything like it's supposed to be, it is early morning there right now. Each of the two New Hampshire Dons is sitting at his desk, seeking to write but silently hoping the phone will ring, with the other Don on the far end.
Sam Watson
Kevin Siemonek
October 6, 2010
What a great legacy an enlightened educator has left us in supporting the teaching and learning of written language. After 40 years of teaching his wisdom remains with me. In an age of the corporate madness that we now face in classrooms he stays in our hearts and his insights will never be forgotten. Thanks for your inspiration, we will keep it going.
Nancy Blanchard
October 5, 2010
My daughter is in the other room reading "A Fresh Look at Writing" and noticed Don Graves signature inside. She is reading this in her pursuit of an elementary teaching degree. In my online quest to verify the autograph's authenticity, I stumbled across the obituary. We offer our deepest sympathy and condolences to your entire family and to education.
Jane
October 5, 2010
Donald Graves work in writing changed my life both as a writer and teacher of young children. What a loss for education, but know that his work continues to inspire classrooms and teachers all over the world. My condolences and thoughts go out to his family and friends. Thank you Dr. Graves!
Elizabeth Sulzby
October 4, 2010
Donald Graves was the liaison on my first research project funded by the Research branch of NCTE. I felt so close to Don but very very junior. He never treated me that way and invited me to come to his first summer institute. This was just about the time of his book on the New Hampshire writing project. He introduced me to Lucy Calkins and other students that he had mentored. He even invited me to stay with at his home; I felt so honored and welcomed.
Donald Graves contributed so much to research in writing. He was the first that I know that used reflections from professional, published writers to use with elementary school children as a way of seeing children's concepts about writing and also reflecting on how teachers support young readers. He was a model in spending so much time in classrooms with children and teachers and then using reflections from these observations to help teachers increase their support for writing.
It's ironic that Don was such a support and inspiration for my early research, because I think of him as being a researcher on the new work I am doing now. He provided so many insights into young children's writing and the role of their varied backgrounds to their writing. One thing I remember was his speculation that it was a great advance when children began to shift from face-on drawings of humans to profile drawings. I never thought I would use that speculation but I always remembered it and thought writing researchers might find it important. I think that his speculation fits with recent research in writing/drawing as communications systems such as those found in Egyptian burial records.
As important as his research was, however, I think it's been so important to have his humanity and emotional support for all of us. I am reading Beverly Tabet's ending comments now. She wrote: "It still brings a smile to my face thinking of him!" I realized that I was already smiling thinking of him even though I am so sad for his family and all of us in losing him.
Beverly Tabet
October 4, 2010
Don was my Principal at East Fairhaven School in Fairhaven, MA in 1960. He moved to Hamburg, NY at the end of my first grade year and I'll never forget it. He told us to think of him every time we ate a "hamburger" . . . and I did. When I was in first grade, I use to stand in the corner and cry or fake being sick on Gym days because I couldn't do a forward roll. He picked up on it that I was always out on gym days and he called my Mom! He was a professor at UNH when I went to college there (as a P.E. major believe it or not) and I was reunited in a "This is your Life, Don Graves" kind of way when I taught in Boothbay and he was on the Board a small private school in Edgecomb, Maine. After 30 years I got to see him again and I'm so glad I did. It still brings a smile to my face thinking of him! He truly was a wonderful teacher, principal, writer and human being. My heartfelt condolences go out to his family. May he rest in eternal peace.
October 4, 2010
Don's work has inspired me to focus my career on the study of teaching and learning along side young writers. His impact on my professional and personal life is beyond measure...from a teacher in South Carolina.
October 4, 2010
Don's legacy will live on in Australia. Both his professional expertise and his humanity were most appreciated. (Marie Emmitt, Melbourne, Australia).
October 4, 2010
To my beloved family, I'm really sorry to hear that he is gone.
He touched the lives of so many people and I'm very honored to have been one of them. I will always remember with love and grattitude the kindness, care and love that was shared with me when I was so lucky as to be a part of the family.
I have you all in my heart.
Teresa Palau
Marilyn Boutwell
October 4, 2010
Donald Graves inspired generations of teachers and children. His perceptiveness went beyond the obvious. He was kind, gentle, and made every person (large or small) feel special--a true teacher in every positive sense of the word. I hear him every time I pay attention to my students and learn from them.
October 3, 2010
Alyce, Joe and the entire Graves family. I am very sorry for your loss. I have very fond memories of him and that wonderful smile he always had. He truly was a great man. Sincerely, Terry (Hebert) Chasse
October 3, 2010
Thank you for your work with writing and children....from a teacher in Virginia.
Sheri Graves
October 3, 2010
Soft spoken, always interested in getting others to share their stories, rememembrances of you and George growing up, christmas trees, blueberries, bears, and you running while Auntie Betty rode beside you on her bike, are happy memories about Uncle Donald. Sheri G.
Joe Hebert
October 3, 2010
you have always been an inspiration in my life and I'm going miss you Grandpa
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