Victoria de Bary

de Bary, Victoria
Victoria de Bary, of Greenwich, CT, died peacefully on Wednesday, February 19, 2014 at her home, following a brave struggle with brain cancer. Vickie was the beloved wife of Paul de Bary, mother of Edward (Ned) de Bary of Boston and John de Bary of New York City. Vickie is also survived by her brother, Robert Stiepock and his wife Virginia of Wakefield, RI.
Vickie was born on December 26, 1950 in Scranton, Pennsylvania. She was married to Paul in New York in 1968. She was graduated from The City College of New York (CUNY) in 1971 and received a Master of Philosophy degree from Teachers College in 1977. In 1978 she received a PhD from Columbia University. She worked at the Rusk Institute for Rehabilitation Medicine in New York City, and for various school districts in New York and New Jersey before coming to Greenwich as a psychologist for the Greenwich Board of Education in 1977. She later served as moderator of Parents Exchange, a support group for new parents at the Greenwich Hospital, in the late1980's. She also worked as a psychological tester in a longitudinal study conducted by Yale University.
A longstanding member of the Junior League of Greenwich, Vickie was active in many community activities. She served at various times as a board member of several local educational and family services organizations, including the World Affairs Forum, the YWCA, Parents Together and the Board of Social Services of the Town of Greenwich. She also served as a volunteer for the Reading Champions program at the Byram Archibald Neighborhood Center and she was appointed to the Environmental Action Task Force that developed an energy policy for the Town of Greenwich. For a number of years, she served as chair of the Academic World Quest competition for the World Affairs Forum, at which teams of students from high schools in Westchester and Fairfield County compete in answering questions related to world history, geography, politics and economics and the customs and practices of foreign cultures. She also chaired the Forum's Study Abroad Scholarship Program for several years. As a member of the founding committee for Kids in Crisis, she provided research to demonstrate the need for a crisis nursery in Greenwich. She was also active in providing post-war relief to women and families in Bosnia through the Connecticut Friends of Bosnia.
In addition to her service to the community, Vickie was well known as a generous hostess and lively companion, as well as for her love of learning and her interest in other cultures, cuisines and languages. An excellent chef with discriminating tastes, she travelled widely and maintained extensive contacts with many friends and family members around the world. This made her a valuable resource for her friends and acquaintances, and her tips on sites to see and places to stay and dine were highly valued by her friends. She will be missed by many.
A memorial service will be held on Sunday, April 6, 2014 at 2:00 PM at the Belle Haven Club in Greenwich, CT. There are no calling hours. It is suggested that in lieu of flowers contributions in her memory be made to Family Centers, Inc. at 40 Arch Street, Greenwich, CT 06830 (or online at

Published in GreenwichTime on Mar. 9, 2014