Richard S. BARNES

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Richard BARNES Obituary

BARNES, Richard S.

Richard S. Barnes, 80, of Bolton, formerly of Coventry and East Hartford the beloved husband of Lois (Lanerie) Barnes died Tuesday, (October 15, 2013) at Rockville Hospital. Born in Hartford, he was the son of the late Everett Dewey Barnes and Vera (Winar) Cody. He was a 1951 graduate of Hartford Public High School, attended the University of Connecticut and graduated with a B.S. in Business from Charter Oak College. After High School he joined the US Army from 1953-1955 where he was stationed in Fort Lewis, WA, until returning to college upon completing his military service. Following college he was the owner of Custom Offset Printing in West Hartford for many years, later retiring from Cigna as Assistant Director after 29 years of service. While at Cigna, he was a member of Implant Printing Management Association for ten years, having served as an officer. In his retirement, Dick worked for 10 years at OAKLEAF Waste Management. He was a member of the East Hartford Elks, was a current communicant of St. Bartholomew Church, Manchester, where he was an usher for many years, and was a former communicant of St. Christopher Church East Hartford for many years. He was also an active adult leader in Boy Scout Troop 61. Besides his wife, he is survived by his children Richard C. Barnes and his wife Maria of Bolton, James R. Barnes and his wife Donna of West Hartford, and Cynthia Barnes-Gagnon and her husband Paul of Petersburg, VA; his grandchildren Andrew and David Barnes, Lauren, Clayton and Benjamin Barnes, and Troy and John Gagnon; his siblings, Jennifer Johanson and her husband Jim of Simsbury, and Robert Cody of Burlington; his sister-in-law Jean Ravalese and her husband Joseph of West Hartford, and several nieces and nephews.
Funeral service will be held on Saturday, October 19 at 9:15 a.m. from the John F. Tierney Funeral Home 219 West Center Street Manchester, with a Mass of Christian Burial celebrated at 10 a.m. at St. Bartholomew Church 736 Middle Turnpike, Manchester, CT followed by burial in Rose Hill Memorial Park, Rocky Hill. Family and friends may call at the funeral home on Friday from 4-7 p.m. Memorial contributions may be made to the American Heart Association 5 Brookside Drive Wallingford, CT 06492. For online condolences please visit www.tierneyfuneralhome.com.

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Published by Hartford Courant on Oct. 17, 2013.

Memories and Condolences
for Richard BARNES

6 Entries

Eulogy given at mass

November 8, 2013

Thanks to everyone that has come and to those who reached out to us over the last few days. We are truly overwhelmed by this outpouring of support.
A good friend and mentor of mine always said: don't let the highs get you too high and don't let the lows get you too low. Tuesday morning was as low as I can ever remember and thank goodness its getting better each day. That is because as we think about our fathers life its all the good that we think of now and here are some thoughts about what he was all about.
He was a person with strong morals and always encouraged us to do the right thing. He had a work ethic like few others.
He lead by example.
Nurturing a Family was at the heart of his mission in life.
He never crossed anyone I knew, didn't have a bad thing to say about anyone (with the exception of the politicians.)
I don't know of anyone who doesn't think he's just a great guy to know and be around.
His conviction to have a strong family came from his earliest of times when he lost his father at a very early age.
He knew what it was like to grow up in a home with just one parent and also knew first hand all the mischief one could get into.... which he did. There's countless stories but one that stands out was his Mom saw a bunch of boys jumping off the roof of a tall barn into hay bales as she went home from work and thought how mischievous they were only to end up reprimanding him later when she realized it was him.
Everything he did was focused on keeping the family intact.
Sadly, his brother and sister Rob and Jen both lost their Mom and Fathers just coming out of high school and although our house wasn't big with a lot of room to spare we all fit in that house together for some time as things got stabilized. It wasn't easy or ideal but it was very important to Dad to do this and he taught us the importance of family. This experience also began an endless journey of house renovations and expansions with us helping out to learn all types of trade experiences. Its no wonder we all can fix or build just about anything from working with our Dad.
By having our family expanded for a while in our home there were benifits too. We also got to hang out with our young aunt and uncle and got more exposure than typical of neil young, the rolling stones and led zepellin than most our age
Dad worked tirelessly always moving forward. I remember every other Saturday either Rick or I could go with him to his company Custom Offset Printers. That was fun driving in with him listening to bob steele on the radio.
At some point he realized he needed to do more to support the family and in addition to a 60 hour job running his own company started to work a second job at cigna insurance running the print operation at night. I remember specifically asking him why would he let the business go and he said he just couldn't rely upon the uncertainty of running a small business and by working for a large company it wouldn't have the high peaks of your own company but more importantly, it would be a more predictable income he could bank on for the family's needs.
Eventually that lead to 29 years of steady income and stability.
All that time I knew dad had that entrepreneurial yearn yet made a cognizant trade for what he could bank on for his family . And that he did.
As years went by he taught our family all about working hard. We added on to our home in east hartford with a rec room. Sun porch mater bedroom and extra garage and worked with him weekends and nights to make this a reality. He was always making things better for his family
He always said,
"Make sure you leave the place better then you found it."...and with that he lead by example.
No one in the Barnes family up to this point had graduated from college. Dad was resolute in his spirit that his kids would have things better then him and set out to help us through. He smartly invested in a couple of cottages on Cape Cod with Uncle Joe which we all helped renovate and eventually sold at a handsome profit. Although we never vacationed in these cottages they did provide for roughly half our college tuitions.

No one I know lead more by example than my Dad. In high school I was not on a path that would lead me to college and I wasn't sure it was important for me. I questioned my father who had only graduated from high school at that time of the importance of a college degree. My Dad went to night school and on weekends to earn his college degree. Not just to better himself but more importantly.... show me how important that was to him and to our family. I sincerely doubt I would have gone to college if he didn't lead by example and find the path to help pay for it. The watch he is wearing today was a gift from his children upon graduation from college. Typical of my Dad, although he tried to have it repaired and couldn't its still his favorite memento.
All this time dad was a rock to his family.
We didn't necessarily know it at the time but he was. As time went on it became so ever clear.
After retiring from Cigna for 29 years Dad started to help out at oakleaf. At first it was just to get him out of the house so he didn't go crazy. Surprisingly, it lasted over 12 years that I would get to see him there on a regular basis. He made friends with everyone he came in contact with and to this day I get the highest accolades of how wonderful it was to know my dad. I simply do not know anyone that didn't just simply enjoy being in his presence and knowing him.
As a father, friend, brother, brother in law, and husband, dad was there to keep it all together. Having lost his father very early, then his mom, he was committed to see that his family and especially Mom, would have more continuity and most important, stability when he moved on.
Sitting here today it' s hard to imagine that his world is anything different from the goals he set out to embrace..
He left things better than he found them, he nurtured his children into a family with very strong roots and convictions and laid the groundwork for that continuance, and he has left a good feeling, in everyone he came in contact with.
He seemed to carry that friendliness forward in fact all the way to Florida.
When he was in Florida I saw him walking up to and talking to perfect strangers how are you doing and engaging them in whatever was amongst them a car show whatever. He really seemed like he found that promised land there and that led him to purchase that home there with Mom. My only regret and I mean.... only regret is that he couldn't spend more time there.
He was overwhelmed at how everything came out so well His children all married, with children and on paths of their own.
He was delighted to interact with his grandchildren. He was simply amazed to have the discussions and experiences he had with his grandchildren.
Andrew, in talks about business,
David on the ways of the world,
Troy with his incredible piano playing,
John, the engineer, redesigning the world, Clayton, he just enjoyed being around him, Ben, in conversations and dialogue he never thought he could with a 9 year old. Of course, he couldn't have favorites, But he did have a favorite grand daughter... Lauren. He told me how much he enjoyed speaking with all of his Nieces, nephews and their children especially all of those in the Johansson , Ravalese. And Yirigian families.
Last week he said" I'm truly amazed how everything turned out, I've got a great family, grandchildren, nieces and nephews , and I've had such incredible times with them at sports games and recitals, vacations traveling with them around the country and the world. I guess, .... I'm just lucky"
Dad, you accomplished all that you set out for and then some. Whether. It was hard work , determination, stubbornness, or just constant, subtle nurturing you did it, in fact you did it very well!
And as I think about that, I do not feel like today is goodbye
I feel strongly that Dad... Uncle Dick,... Grandpa...and Richard... will be forever in our lives. His spirit , smile, enthusiasm and interest in you will be there forever... as I know it will to me.
So as I stand here today its not goodbye, its, so long for now....

We love you.

Karen Lane

October 28, 2013

To the entire Barnes family, I am so very sorry. Dick was a kind, polite and good man.

Karen Damiata

October 17, 2013

James and Family,

I am so sorry for your loss. Please know my thoughts are with all of you during this time. Some of my warmest memories were the times spent with your family. Your father will always be remembered in my heart as so wonderfully warm and welcoming - always.

With love,
Karen

American Heart Association

October 17, 2013

May your memories of the wonderful times you shared with your loved one comfort you and your family, today and always.

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October 17, 2013

Cynthia: Walter and I send our sincere condolences and sympathy to you and your family in the loss of your father. Please know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers.

October 17, 2013

To the family
I am sorry for your loss. May the God of all comfort provide you with the strength needed to cope with your loss.

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