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BORN

1928

DIED

2014

FUNERAL HOME

Heritage Funeral Home – Greenfield

4800 South 84th Street

Greenfield, Wisconsin

Jean Stemper Obituary

Stemper, Jean (Nee Hurley ) Born June 16, 1928, born to Eternal Life October 8, 2014. Beloved wife of Daniel J. Stemper. Preceded in death by her beloved husband Daniel J. Stemper, daughter Elizabeth (Michael) Praedel, son Michael (Jean), and dear sister Sheila Weber. Survived by sons Patrick (Sally), Peter (Sue), Daniel (Kathleen), Joseph (Pamela), John (Kelly), and James (Shawn). An incredible grandmother to 26, and great-grandmother to 17. Jean was a graduate of Marquette University where she met the love of her life Dan. After Dan's untimely death, she took over the T.H. Stemper Co. with the help of her sons for 25 plus years. She reveled in her Irish heritage which caused her to laugh a lot, love a lot and fight until the very end. Visitation Wednesday, October 15, from 10AM-2PM with funeral mass to follow at GESU CHURCH, 1145 W. Wisconsin Avenue, Milwaukee, WI 53233. Memorials to the Alzheimer's Association Southeastern Wisconsin Chapter appreciated. HERITAGE FUNERAL HOMES Altstadt-Tyborski Johnson-Reiss-Klemmer 414-281-5533 Guest Book & Directions www.heritagefuneral.com

Published by Milwaukee Journal Sentinel on Oct. 12, 2014.
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Memories and Condolences
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I will always remember play dates with Amie over at Grandma Stempers house. I remember the big kitchen table and all those bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs. I remember the pictures of everyone on the stairway wall. Amie and I would play in grandma's bedroom and with her make up and dress up in her closet. I remember her and Libby always watching tennis. I remember the house being loud with laughter. The Stemper/ Praedel family was a big part of my childhood. I remember going to the Stemper Store and I think there was an old elevator we were told not to play in. I miss you, Amie. I'm so sorry for yours and your families loss. Your Grandma was a great lady!

Laura (Loch) McGourthy

October 21, 2014

Louis and I extend our heartfelt sympathy to all members of the Stemper family for the loss of your wonderful mother, grandmother and greatgrandmother. She will always be remembered for her hove of live .Doris Fons and Family

October 17, 2014

I'm going to make this short and somewhat sweet. I'm so sorry for your loss "all the Stempers". Jean was a bright light. Peace and love to you all, Lynda

Lynda Anderer-Dew

October 16, 2014

On behalf of the Pio Nono & St. Thomas More HS community I'd like to offer my condolences. I'm sorry I was not able to addend the service to express my sympathy in person, but rest assured, Jean and the entire Stemper family will be in my prayers. I have asked the school administration to include notice of Jean's death in the alumni newsletter so friends and classmates will be aware of her passing. God bless.

Tom Knitter

October 15, 2014

Dear Stemper family-She was an amazing, wonderful, loving and very funny woman. I have so many fond memories of her. Peace to all of you. Kate Krill

October 15, 2014

Sorry for your loss. I always enjoyed chatting with Jean when i came into the store. Great smile!!

teresa

October 15, 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. The entire Stemper family will be in our thoughts and prayers. Mrs. Stemper was the kindest lady I ever met. I loved seeing her in the store, she was always smiling and had nothing but kind words.

Dirk & Heather Mlachnik

October 14, 2014

Deepest sympathies for your loss. Regret not having met your mother but know from the lives she touched that she was one special lady.

Bryan and Colleen Boland

October 14, 2014

One could never ask for better neighbors than the Stemper family and Jean. We will always have fond memories of Christmas round robins and St. Patty's Day and even little chats in the driveway. She gave so many the foundation to live a good life, to find success, to keep humor in their day and to honor our Lord God first. She was a remarkable woman. Sympathies to you all.

Rick and Carolyn Andrejat

October 14, 2014

My condolences to the entire Stemper family, and especially to the Praedels. Jean lived a full life and lit up the room when she walked in. I only met her on a few occasions, but I remember her well. She was one of a kind!

Love,
Lori O'Neil

October 14, 2014

To all of the wonderful members of the Stemper Family,

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to post this...it took me a long time to gather my thoughts and get my feelings under control.

So often we hear the term thrown around "Live your best life" or "You Only Live Once." What does that mean? It's easy to "live life fully" when times are good! We can all "be in the moment" at parties, when our kids are healthy and successful. We yell “YOLO” when our spouse is relishing in financial and life successes. or as our children marry or we attend the celebrations and parties for friends and family or as we embark on that dream family vacation. When those life events happen people cheer or label their photos "Living the good life!" But let's be serious, how often do these types of events happen in life? For most of us these opportunities are rare. Does that mean we aren't living our best life the rest of the time? Are we not taking advantage of the opportunity to live in the moment and love and be loved? Does it mean that those of us who face a lot of adversity aren't living a complete and fulfilling life because we can't post photos of us on the beach on social media or wake up every day and skydive?
Your mom took some great trips during her lifetime and met some truly amazing people! She was at the helm of rebuilding a struggling business; she was widowed at a young age and lived every mother's worst nightmare when she buried Mike and Libbie. She even endured burying a grandchild when Ryan passed away. As I have thought through her life and what she means to me over the past month, I keep coming back to how much I admire her and her legacy.
Rather than run down the street and ring the bell and run in the garage door like the “old days,” I mostly keep in touch with the Stemper's via Facebook. As I watched the kids and grandkids post their pictures and work through their emotions this past week after losing Jean, I started to think how fun it would be if Jean had been on Facebook! I envisioned that Jeans Facebook page would look a little like this; the picture of her and your dad tending bar, dressed in their Irish costumes, laughing hysterically, at one of their infamous St Patty's Day parties would be her “cover photo.” Her profile picture would be her in her giant green rimmed glasses and platinum silver hair perfectly quaffed after a visit to Vito's. Her head is cocked to the right with her wonderful open mouthed smile and a glass of Irish Meade in her hand and she is wearing her “Irish Grandma” blue sweatshirt with 26 green shamrocks with names embroidered on the front and 17 shamrocks and names on the sleeves. She's sitting in the “Hurley Room” and is exuding warmth. When she added the photo she titled it “Counting my blessings!” On “Throwback Thursday” she posts the photo from Joe & Pam's wedding where there are a million Stemper's surrounding her and the happy couple on the altar at St. Mary's. A little baby Julia is dressed in purple and is so amazed by how many people are in the family photo and she turns around at the last minute to look back at the group in awe. Jean tags Julia in that photo and says “No worries Julia, I am amazed by this awesome family also!” Then she posts a pic of her with a carload of priests headed to some work event titled “I have the most amazing job!” Then there is a whole photo album from the previous year's St. Patrick's Day party with a warning to view at your own risk! The online album has a ton of photos- every neighbor for miles is there; friends from “the store” are there, the entire Stemper Clan is there along with a handful of out of town guests. There are lots of food pictures taken…potato soup, corned beef, a mountain of rolls, dips, chips, olives, etc. There is a photo of my husband eating his 30th mini corned beef sandwich and I have commented “who invited that joker?! LOL” There is also a photo of my dad pouring Irish whiskey into the soup pot while Kelly holds the lid up! Another one of him with green carnations in his nose and ears chasing Stephanie and Mary Jean around the big kitchen table, and the one with the most “likes” is him squeezing Jean and she is laughing and my mom is giving him a dirty look for being too wild! Libbie and Mike are working behind the bar, Johnnie and Kelly are in the laundry room with their friends and talking to Joe, Sally is with my mom and Mrs Vogt catching up, Pat has his wool cap on and his arms around Mike and Jeannie, in the living Room there are a million kids and Kathleen, Sue and Pam are on the floor trying to organize a fun game. More grandkids come out of the “secret” room between the fireplaces. Jimmy is holding a sleeping baby and sitting on the staircase eating with his free hand while Shawn is refilling his drink, Danny and Peter are holding babies and talking to the Lawson's about the new addition on the house. Suddenly The Irish Rovers come on and when it gets to the refrain everyone stops their conversations to sing and clap “No, nay, never…clap, clap, clap, clap!” There are pictures of people dancing and singing (mostly off key, but it's a picture so we are ok) and people scattered all over looking at photos of Jean's family hanging on the wall. The comments under the album say “thanks again Jean, once again you have outdone yourself!” “There is a lot of love in that room!” “Whoa, did you find my dignity while you were cleaning up? I last saw it around the Dining Room table!” “I'm sorry Jean, I owe you some new floral arrangements” And Jean has titled this album something in Irish that most of us have no clue what it means “An té a luíonn le madaí, eiroidh sé le dearnaid,” naturally we assume that it is something steeped in deep Irish meaning…we Google it and find that it means “He who lies down with dogs wakes up with fleas!” Ha! Her wit and wisdom make us laugh again! Her page is filled with fun photos of her beautiful family and numerous “check ins” at TJ Maxx and Vito's. I imagined that I would visit her page regularly to see what she was up to, because inevitably it would be filled with witty anecdotes and passionate posts.
But Jean is not on Facebook…in fact she never was. Dementia robbed her of truly “living” in the moment these past few years. This reminds me of some advice she gave me after I had faced a devastating loss. She told me that “life doesn't allow you the luxury of only “living” through the good. We have to “live” through our losses.” Then she threw around a few choice 4 letter words to describe what it is like to live through your losses, but stressed that I had to face this heartbreak head on, because at the end of the day all I had was my dignity. Over the years I have drawn on that advice. When friends or their family were sick or had died, life had dealt some horrible blows or our world seemed to be crumbling around us, I drew on that advice and found the strength to offer help, solace or a comforting presence. I had to train myself to stop looking away from or discussing things that made me uncomfortable, and face the tough decisions head on. Jean taught me that. She never “cleansed” the message or worried about what people would say or think of her- just what she thought of her. That little spitfire never said “I can't be there for you at the funeral because I have suffered so much loss myself,” nope, she embraced the opportunity to share comfort and wisdom and you almost always saw her before the funeral with cookies or take out from “That's Amore.” I never heard “I can't make it; I would hate to be a third wheel.” Not only would she be at all event's, she would be the life of the party- seemingly at peace with her single status.
As I spent the afternoon with her a few weeks ago, knowing it would be my last, I thanked her for all that she taught me. She showed me that there is so much beauty and honor in “living in ALL the moments” of my life…even the ugly or difficult ones. To keep my eyes open- even when I am scared. And don't forget any or it! This is what the “good life” is: Family, friends, a decent bottle of brandy, not valuing material things over people, if at the end of your life your most cherished object is a pair of old jeans that you were able to get 8 kids through- you have your priorities straight, any time with a child is to be cherished, an open door, a generous heart, the love of a good man, making an honorable living, cherish your heritage, like yourself and be at peace being alone, understand that everyone of us is flawed- find a redeeming quality in them anyway, remember where you came from but don't let it define you, never let fear paralyze you and when someone yells “mmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh” answer them because it isn't likely that they will stop anytime soon. All valuable life lessons…At a time like this, it's important we all remember them. I will remember her always and thank you all for sharing her with us! I have no words for the amazing woman she was and the impact that she had on my life.
I now pray for healing in all of your hearts. Stick together and treat each other with love and respect. She was dealt a really difficult hand and turned it into a winner time and time again, now you are her legacy, make sure that you continue to make both of them proud!
Finally, here are a couple more pieces of Irish wisdom to wrap this up:
Ar scáth a chéile a mhaireann na daoine.
Under the shelter of each other, people survive.
Ní neart go cur le chéile.
There's strength in unity.
YOLO! You Only Live Once- way to embrace this message Jean and show us how to do it right from beginning to end!
With love and friendship,
Julia (Anderer) Westphal

Julia Westphal

October 14, 2014

Our prayers and sympathy goe out to the entire Stemper family. Jean was priceless. Kathie & Peter Rath

October 14, 2014

Dear family,
My prayers and condolences are with you at this time.
Bro. Ralph Neumann, SM

Ralph Neumann, SM

October 13, 2014

On behalf of everyone here at the Alzheimer's Association - thank you so much for thinking of us at this time of loss to your family. Memorial donations made in Jean's name will be put to immediate use serving families and supporting research. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Tom Hlavacek, Executive Director

Alzheimer's Association of Southeastern Wisconsin

October 13, 2014

Prayers that you will find peace in this difficult time. What a wonderful woman! Brookside Dr. was the best street to grow up on. Your mom had a hand in the "village" that raised us all. Aren't we blessed for that?! My thoughts are with you. Ann Vogt-Mauro

October 12, 2014

Thinking of all of you. Dan I met you in grade school
and your wife Kathleen in high school. Great family all of you. My mom Dorothy always knew Stemper's would have what she was looking for at their store. Prayers are with all of you and your families. Peace,

Barb (Damiano) Kowalski

October 12, 2014

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