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Jay Dillingham Obituary

Kansas City civic leader Jay Dillingham, who ran the city’s famed stockyards and helped shape the region’s highways and reservoirs, died Monday night. He was 97.

Dillingham was president of the legendary Kansas City Stockyards from 1948 to 1975 and he helped build the American Royal Livestock Show into a national institution. He was a key promoter in the city’s expansion, including locating the Kansas City International Airport in the Northland.

The cattle business also was his springboard into civic issues and politics. His influence stretched from city halls in Kansas City and Kansas City, Kan., to the presidential offices of Dwight Eisenhower and Harry Truman.

Developer and civic leader Charles Garney said that Dillingham played a huge role in shaping Kansas City.

"He’s a man who truly made a difference over a long, long period of time," Garney said. "He’s right at the key root of many important things for Kansas City for the past 50 or 60 years."

Dillingham was born in Platte City in 1910 to a family involved in public service. His grandfather, who died of a gunshot in 1900, was the only Platte County sheriff ever killed in the line of duty. Dillingham’s father ran a harness shop and later farmed.

"We had three meals a day," Jay Dillingham once said, "oatmeal, corn meal and miss a meal."

He married Frances Thompson, a daughter of a founder of the American Royal, in 1935. Family members introduced them, Dillingham said. She arranged the first date, requesting that he escort her to a horse show.

Dillingham graduated in 1935 from the Kansas City School of Law, which is now part of the University of Missouri-Kansas City. But he was hired to work at the stockyards shortly after graduation and never practiced law.

He was named president of the stockyards in 1948 when thousands of cattle, hogs, sheep, horses and mules were auctioned each year in the West Bottoms. The Golden Ox steakhouse that adjoins the Livestock Exchange Building was his creation.

"There’s nothing around here I haven’t done," Dillingham once said, "from shoveling manure to cleaning the sewers."

His southern gentleman manners and folksy humor put people at ease.

But he was equally comfortable addressing tough issues in big-business board rooms, and he was active in numerous civic affairs.

Because the stockyards straddled the state line, he served as a Chamber of Commerce president for both Kansas City and Kansas City, Kan. He served on numerous civic committees and commissions.

Dillingham helped land federal reservoir projects in Kansas and Missouri after the 1951 flood surged through the stockyards and devastated the Kansas City area. He was especially active in promoting lakes in the Kansas River basin and Smithville Lake in Clay County. He served on federal and state water resource boards.

Dillingham’s influence in his later years was often more private than public. He kept in close touch with elected officials, government employees and civic leaders on issues of the day. Then in telephone calls or meetings he would state his opinions about appointments or projects.

“I never would have amounted to a damn if I hadn’t had a lot of friends,” he said once.
Published by Kansas City Star on Aug. 14, 2007.

Memories and Condolences
for Jay Dillingham

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62 Entries

Scott Butcher

October 1, 2007

I was very sorry to hear of Mr. Dillinghams passing. He was a great man. I grew up knowing Mr. Dillingham because of our doing business at the stockyards. From my self to my Great, Great Grandfather sold cattle there. We shipped on the Frisco railroad from Blairstown Mo. His passing is the end of some of the memories I hold dear. I would like to see a stockyards assocation formed In Mr. Dillinghams name to preserve the history and sprit of the Kansas City Stock Yards.

Gina Bowman-Morrill

August 29, 2007

To the family of Jay Dillingham:
I had the wonderful opportunity of working with Mr. Dillingham when the Kansas City agri-business community hosted a series of Congressional staff tours. Each time he led the discussion about the history of Kansas City's agribusiness, the stockyards and the flood. We were all in awe of his wisdom, knowledge and friendly disposition. He was a great leader and I'm so very thankful I had the opportunity to learn from him. God Bless!

Robert D. Williams

August 23, 2007

Dear Francis, John,and Nancy. Several people sent me Jay's newspaper write ups and I was saddened to hear of his passing. Plese accept my condolences. I am sorry I was not in MO to attend the services. He will be missed greatly

Joel Cerwick

August 20, 2007

Jay was one of the best things that has ever happened to this community! His influence on our city has improved the lives of all of us and those not yet born.

Homer L. Williams

August 20, 2007

He was like my second father who always encouraged me to strive to do better. I will miss him and his genuine good-will.

Hugh Breyer

August 18, 2007

Jay, boychick! You were as comfortable with a lox-bagel-cream cheese-bermuda as you were eating your grits! You were the universally appealing cad and bon vivant.

Lorena, Robert, and Michael Rowland

August 17, 2007

We will allways remember the consideration. You were so kind to let our parents and grandparents - James O. Drake and his wife, Mary Anne- stay on your farm during his long illness. He passed away there in 1953. May God bless you and help you thru this trying time with the death of your loved-one.

Jack& Carol Woods

August 17, 2007

A final tribute to a family friend of long standing. Thank you, Jay.

John and Jackie Woods

August 17, 2007

John And Nancy,
So sorry to hear of your Dads passing. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Mrs James F. Woods

August 17, 2007

John and Family
Sorry to hear of Jay's passing. Please accept my condolences.

LUCY TAYLOR

August 17, 2007

JOHN, NANCY AND FAMILY

THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ROOM FOR ME TO SAY HOW I FELT ABOUT JAY, I HAVE LOST MY BEST FRIEND, I LOVED HIM

LUCY TAYLOR

Ray Wilson

August 17, 2007

On behalf of the family of Robert C. and Viola Wilson family, I express our condolences to your family. As members of the Stockyards/Exchange Community, my grandfather (Walter Wilson - Wilson, Flynn and Laws Livestock Commission Company) and father (Bob Wilson) worked with Jay for many years. They spoke with great respect of the friendship, camaraderie and fun surrounding their associations with Jay and the initiatives that he led on behalf of those in and around the cattle business. Long gone are the greetings in the halls of the Exchange Building. Never forgotten will be his memory and the positive impact he had on so many and our community. He was truly a great man and will be missed.

Our Prayers are with you, the Robert and Viola Wilson Family

Sean & Karin Shaughnessey

August 17, 2007

Jay was always so thoughtful each time I saw him. After he got me a summer job as a highway maintenance worker, he'd check my hands for calluses and tell me what a woman pioneer I was working on the highway system. However, I wasn't the pioneer -- Jay was the pioneer for the vision and development he brought to Kansas City and the Northland. I'm grateful to have been acquainted with such a historical figure in our city. Our heartfelt sympathy to all of Jay's family.

Carol Novotny Ronchetti

August 16, 2007

My father will dearly miss a man he considered his best friend and brother. And I will miss my "uncle" who always seemed so big to me!

JOHN TRUEX

August 16, 2007

My condolences to the Dillingham family. Jay was a great man in so mnay respects. He was a great booster of Clay County, William Jewell College and TWA and was helpful to all worthwhile causes. It was my pleasure to have made his acquaintance thru Mike Flynn of Liberty. May the Lord grant you Peace in these difficult days.

Jim Spelman

August 16, 2007

Rembering particularly the years of wise counsel,support and friendship to Dr. Arch Spelman and the Community's hospitals.

Jim Spelman

August 16, 2007

Remembering particularly the years of wise counsel, support and freindship to Dr. Arch Spelman and the Communit's hospitals.

Bob and Beverly Whitaker

August 16, 2007

John, Our condolences on the loss of your father. He played a significant part in the lives of a lot of people and in the Kansas City community.

Joyce Coonis

August 16, 2007

John and family. My father (Ralph Prentice)always spoke highly of your father. He was by all accounts a wonderful man to know and work for. When my father died a few years ago, flowers arrived with the card signed "from employees at the Golden OX, but we knew the flowers were from Mr. Dillingham. What a kind act which I will never forget.

Dee Knott

August 16, 2007

John and Family, I am sorry to hear of your Dad's passing. While visiting with you and John Brown one day, I told you my Great Great Grandmother was Mary Dillingham. You gave me your Dad's card and I failed to follow up and talk to him to see if the Dillingham history was a link with yours and mine. I did meet your Dad at his home a few years ago, attending a fund raiser for Sam Graves. Through my research of the early Dillingham's, they had a very long life gene, living to 97 to 99 years of age. At least you have the long life gene.
Our thoughts are with you. Dee, Bob and Tyler Knott

Sister Mary Laura Huddleston, SCL

August 16, 2007

John, what a privilege to be the son of such a wonderful person. Mr. Dillingham reflected all the qualities of a gentleman/father/friend that is a legacy to be proud of.

One of my favorite connections here in Kansas City, is being a volunteer at the American Royal for the past twenty (20) some years. Your father's name is synonomous with the AR and you too are a witness to carry on your father's dedication.

Words of mine cannot fill the void you will feel by his absence, but, be assured of a remembrance in my prayers for you and your family.

God bless and console you.

Sister Mary Laura, SCL
Chaplain, American Royal

Hall Harsh

August 16, 2007

Jay Dillingham was an icon in Kansas City. Not that many people get a major freeway named after them in their lifetime. He added value to Kansas City and the West Bottoms. A good man to know. He will be missed.

Janet Nation

August 16, 2007

My Dad, Ralph Prentice, was a chef at the Golden Ox for many years, he thought Mr. D. Was a wonderful person and always spoke highly of him. Mr. D. visited Dad when he was confined to a nursing home due to Alzheimer’s Disease. Our family will not soon forget his many kindnesses. Our sincere sympathy to all of the Family.

Mrs. Gerry Chester

August 16, 2007

Our prayers are with your family.

Frank Aikmus

August 16, 2007

John and Family - Mr. D was a man of strong character that touched the lives of so many. His accomplished works will long be remembered and the impact to the communities that he loved forever treasured. Our thoughts and prayers are with each of you during this time. May knowing that he lived a long and fulfilled life be a comfort to you at this time.

Our Fondest Regards,
The Aikmus Family

Gary Enright

August 16, 2007

Jay will be remembered for all time in the Almanac of American Agriculture.

Patsy Bratcher

August 16, 2007

I worked in the Stockyards from 1972 to 1984 and never once in that 12 years did I see Mr. Dillingham that he did speak to me before I had a chance to speak to him. Even after I left the Yards, he always remembered me. He was truly one of a kind. His family and this city have suffered a great loss, as has humanity in general. There won't ever be another one like him.

Shannon Craig

August 16, 2007

I worked for a short time on the same floor as Mr. Dillingham and must say that no matter how early I got to work he was always there ready for the day and a smile on his face. He never failed to say hello and many times we were able to engage in conversation.

I truly respected him and thought of his as a wonderful man. I am so sorry that he is no longer with us in the flesh and I know that he will be greatly missed by his family and all of those that had the oppurtunity to know him.

Janice Dixon

August 16, 2007

I am very thankful I was a part of the care giver for Mr D. We had lots of talks and laughs and i enjoyed making him all the pies he wanted. Will miss him alot

Thomas Gordon

August 16, 2007

John, I was sorry to learn of your dad's death. What a great man he was! A man of integrity, loyalty, and wisdom. He left a legacy and a mark that will carry on for many generations. I will be unable to attend the funeral but will be thinking of all of you and remembering with great fondness his friendship to me and the entire Gordon family.

Tom Gordon

Teresa Perez

August 16, 2007

Thank God for people like you who had the ideas and the heart to put them into place. God bless you and your family.

Al McCormick

August 15, 2007

John and family,
So sorry to hear of your Dads passing. Please accept my condolences.

Paula Kenyon - Vogt

August 15, 2007

In the mid 60's at a farm sale I was awed by the sight of two things:
1. A very large KC Shorthorn bull by the name of 'Glamis Benefactor' that looked to be the size of a volkswagon and
2. Jay Dillingham, a very tall (especially to my 10 year old frame) and genteel man who stopped his very busy life long enough to share: "he (Glamis Benefactor) probably has that tear in his eye because he's so far away from and misses his home(England)."
He shook my small hand and we exchanged names. He remembered me and my name at each meeting thereafter, at the sale barn or the grocery store. He taught by deed and not just word. I learned so much. Thank you for sharing him with us. The Lord bless and comfort your family.

Nancy Johnson

August 15, 2007

Jay Dillingham will be greatly missed by all his Green Meadows neighbors. I'll remember his friendly smile and wave and his "Hi Neighbor" greeting.

Tim Stanton

August 15, 2007

John and Family. So sorry to hear of Jay's passing. He will be missed by the thousands of lives he touched especially mine. He taught me how to distinguish between a real honest man and those with a big hat/ no cows

linda barker

August 15, 2007

Mr.D was a wonderful man and will be missed by many. his family is in my thoughts and prayers.

David and Susan Woods

August 15, 2007

John and family,
So sorry to hear of your Dads passing. Please accept our condolences.

David and Vicky Dillingham Wiltshire

August 15, 2007

John, Nancy and family
My last message may have appeared without identification.
Vicky joins me in sending our sincere condolences on your sad loss. We still remember with great fondness the day that he granted us an 'audience' during our visit from the UK. We are both very sorry to hear this sad news and know that he was a GREAT Dillingham.
David and Vicky Dillingham Wiltshire, Peterborough, England

Pamela Miller

August 15, 2007

Truly he was a towering figure in so many lives and possessed the sweetest, most generous spirit. He succeeded in all things -- especially in love, family and friendship. We are grateful for all his family has meant to our family, and our hearts are with you.

Pam, Mike & Bettie

Joe H. Vaughan

August 15, 2007

I was sorry to learn of Mr. Dillingham's passing. He leaves
a record of accomplisment that can never be equaled.

Dr. Judy Smith

August 15, 2007

I was so sad to hear of Jay's passing. He was truly a GREAT man. I worked with him for years in the field of Economic Development and I learned to respect him and I treasure the lessons I learned from him. Thanks for sharing this great man with us. Though my husband's employment required a move to Texas, we still have a home in Missouri and come home as often as we can. Kansas and Missouri won't be the same without Jay's positive influence.

John Williams

August 15, 2007

John & Nancy,
I was very sorry to read of Jay's passing, and want to extend my sincere condolences to you and the family. With 97 impressively productive years, he certainly did not get cheated. He leaves a legacy that will long be remembered and will forever be a source of great pride for the family. My thoughts are with you at this time.

Irene Dilllingham Ruble

August 15, 2007

John, ever since I started finding my Dillingham ancestors, I have wanted to come to KC and meet you and your Dad. I know when we've talked, you invited me to come and have lunch with the two of you. I am sorry now that I didn't make it a point to do that. I know I would have loved him...he was one of our GREAT Dillinghams.
Hoping to get together with you sometime.

Marjorie Hein

August 15, 2007

I am so sorry for your loss. Mr. Dillingham was a gentle giant. He was on the Board of Directors of Waddell & Reed while I worked there. I will remember his many kindnesses.

Donna Kaye Scheulen

August 15, 2007

My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.

carolyn rupe (olson)

August 15, 2007

john, your dad was a special person. if he knew you he never forgot who you were and he never ever did not speak to you. his hat, well all you had to do is see it and you knew it was your dad. he was a great man and i know he will be missed. my prayers are with you all and especially your mom.

jason and katy britt

August 14, 2007

Mr. Dillingham will be missed greatly. There is a great card game waiting for him. God bless the family.

Toni Saunders

August 14, 2007

What a nice man! Mr. Dillingham was one of those rare people that didn't seem to be too impressed with himself (although he certainly should have been). I worked at the Yards from 1972 to 1993 and every single time he'd see me he would make sure he spoke. He always had time and a comment for everyone. I really didn't understand until reading the article in the paper just how important he was to the city. I just know that everyone at the Stockyards liked him and looked up to him.

Jamie

August 14, 2007

Mr. D was a great man. Even though I just mowed his lawn with my Father he always had a smile and a kind word for me. He will truly be missed.
God be with You Mrs. Dillingham and with your family.

Mike and Mary Simpson

August 14, 2007

My wife and I first met Jay around July 1970 when we came to work with The Stockyards. We met there, held our wedding reception there at the Golden Ox, and (with a small lapse of time) Mike has worked in the building, for the Stockyards/Golden Ox/Arthur Bryant's, ever since. We both wish to express our sympathy to the family. Jay, you've always been a fantastic person and will forever be in our hearts and minds. God Bless you.

Michel Tisdale

August 14, 2007

My thoughts and prayers are with the family.

Heather N. Paxton

August 14, 2007

I will always remember Mr. Dillingham's many kindnesses to me when I was writing the book for the American Royal's centennial. I send my condolences to the Dillingham family. Mr. Dillingham's dedication to civic activities greatly enhanced Kansas City. He was a fine man, and his presence will be missed.

Randy Leslie

August 14, 2007

Mr. Dillingham was a fantastic individual. I met him when I was working for Harry Darby as a driver/security. He was always polite and a real gentleman. Listening to the two of them discuss everything from politics to cattle was a joy and educational experience. To his family my prayers are offered.

Dale McCullough

August 14, 2007

Kansas City has lost one of the last pioneers this world has ever known. God Bless you and your family in this hour of need.

Shane Brungardt

August 14, 2007

I worked in the livestock building in the mid to late 90s. Mr. Dillingham always took the time to say hello - how are you doing? He was a great man that will be missed. My deepest sympathy to the family and his many friends.

Wood

August 14, 2007

A genuine American legend. Every bit a cattleman and a cowboy. The world needs more men with his grit and tenacity. Whatever we celebrate with rodeos and country music he emodied in flesh and spirit. A nation mourns the loss of an institution and Kansas City bids farewell to one of its favorite sons.

Donald Holland

August 14, 2007

Mr. Dillingham, it was a pleasure getting to know you and speaking to you on occassion, though the time I knew you was short the impression you left on me will be forever lasting. You were a good friend.

Donald Holland Jr, MBA

Kelly Fotopoulos

August 14, 2007

My thoughts and prayers are with the family!
Love
Kelly

Karen Allen

August 14, 2007

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Your father was certainly a very great and influential man who will be greatly missed in the KC community.

Diane Anthes

August 14, 2007

Kansas City has lost a great man that knew how to get things done. What a wonderful role model for today's leaders. He will be genuinely missed. My deepest sympathy to his family.

Lou Soliz

August 14, 2007

I didn't know him, but from what I read about his life, he was a very imteresting person.

Donna Lynn

August 14, 2007

I worked at the Stockyards from 1965 (right out of high school) until 1987. Jay Dillingham was one of the nicest guys I have ever met.

Extremely sorry to hear of his passing.

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