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CORNELIA BARR Obituary

BARR--Cornelia Harrington,

who spent her life devoted to her family, passed away peacefully at the home of her daughter, Anne Barr Hotz, in West Bloomfield, Michigan on Monday, May 29, 2017. Born on August 26, 1932 in Kansas City, Missouri to Thomas Orton Harrington (1906-1945) and Phoebe Mosman Browne (1910-1984), Connie grew up in Kansas City and graduated from Southwest High School. After attending Smith College and the University of Kansas City, Connie graduated from the University of Kansas in 1953. Connie was active in theater and while at the University of Kansas City (now the University of Missouri at Kansas City), she starred in several plays, including George Bernard Shaw's "Saint Joan." While involved in theater at the University of Kansas City, Connie met Thomas D. Barr, who had some smaller parts in several of the plays in which she had leading roles. Connie and Tom married on September 26, 1953 at the home of her mother in Mission Hills, Kansas. They spent the first years of their marriage in Oceanside, California, where Tom served in the United States Marines Corps at Camp Pendleton. In 1955, Connie and Tom drove across the country with a leaky passenger-side window air conditioner to New Haven, Connecticut, where Connie enrolled in the Yale Drama School and Tom at the Yale Law School. They lived in half of a Quonset hut near the Yale Bowl and often reminisced that those years were among the happiest of their lives. Connie's stage career was permanently interrupted in 1956 by the birth of the Barrs' first child, Daniel Clayton, who was born with an acute case of pyloric stenosis, a blockage between the stomach and small intestine that at the time required surgery. Despite being told that her son would not survive the surgery, Connie persisted and put her faith in a young Japanese surgeon at Yale New Haven Hospital at a time--11 years after the end of World War II--when many in our country might have still been unwilling to do so. Daniel remains grateful that she had such faith. After Tom graduated from Yale Law School in 1958 and joined the law firm of Cravath, Swaine & Moore, the Barrs moved to Hartsdale, New York, where they had their second child, Phoebe Anne, in 1959. In 1960, they moved to Mamaroneck, New York, where they had their son, Robert Andrew, in 1965. In 1968, they moved to Rye, New York, where they had their daughter, Sara Elizabeth (Sally), in 1969. Connie and Tom moved to Greenwich, Connecticut in 1975 and upon Tom's retirement in 2000 to Paradise Valley, Arizona. Connie shared her talents and love of the arts and the joys of travel with her children and grandchildren. She encouraged them to broaden their thinking and experiences, and she modeled for them the example of a strong, independent woman. She dedicated her life to nurturing the characters and abilities of her husband, children, and grandchildren. While in Arizona, Connie was an active board member of the Arizona Theater Company. After Tom's passing in 2008, Connie moved to Santa Barbara, California, where she lived a few blocks away from her daughter Sally, and proudly attended many of Sally's musical performances. Connie spent the last two and a half years living with her daughter Anne and son- in-law, Ross Hotz, in their Michigan home. Connie was preceded in death by her brother, John Lyle Harrington. She is survived by her four children: Daniel (Karen Davis Barr), of Paradise Valley, Arizona; Anne (Ross Hotz), of West Bloomfield, Michigan; Robert, of Starksboro, Vermont; and Sally, of New York, New York. She is also survived by four grandchildren: Andrew Thomas Barr (Brandi Hoffine Barr), of Berkeley, California; David Cameron Barr, of Chicago, Illinois; Christopher Walcott Hotz-Berrier (Marissa Hotz-Berrier), of Madison, Wisconsin; and Michael Oliver Hotz, of Canton, Michigan. In lieu of flowers, the family suggests donations to any group that does or promotes medical research into a cure for Alzheimer's disease.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by New York Times on May 31, 2017.

Memories and Condolences
for CORNELIA BARR

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Stephen D'Alessio

May 25, 2022

A great lady married to a great man, Cornelia and Tom. Wonderful people. Can't talk about the one without talking about the other; they could never be separated, so I know they are still together and watching over their family. Thanks for the memories.

Steve D'Alessio

May 25, 2021

My sentiments are the same as I wrote before. You can't talk about Connie without talking about Tom too. Two wonderful people who met, married, had children, grandchildren and shared with them the great love that Connie and Tom had for each other. Through marriage, they were one and the same. I only met Connie very briefly twice, once at an outdoor party in Westchester, and the second time at Tom's Memorial at the Plaza Hotel in NYC, where I also met the grandchildren. When I told one of the grandchildren (a tall blond young man), at this Memorial that "a lot of people loved your grandfather," he broke down in tears; he loved his grandfather too. Why did so many people love Tom (and Connie), because Tom was tough (all Marines are tough), he worked hard and long, he was fair, and he treated everyone (high and low) with respect. All while Connie worked hard too, running the whole household while Tom was so busy with work. As busy as they both were, they always reserved/made quality time for all their children. I will always remember Tom and Connie. I met Tom at Cravath fresh out of high school at the tender age of 18, and became his secretary fresh out of the Army on July 1, 1966, at the tender age of 21 and before Margaret came along. :) Who didn't love Margaret? May she rest in Peace.

July 18, 2017

I was very sorry to learn of Connie's death. She was a wonderful neighbor here in Greenwich.
My sympathy to her family. Katherine (Bunny) Sortor Prokop

Stephen D'Alessio

June 22, 2017

Sorry to hear of Mrs. Barr's passing. I just learned of it today. My sympathies to all.

In reading her obituary, I can vouch for two things: she "spent her life devoted to her family," and "she modeled for them the example of a strong, independent woman." I was Mr. Barr's secretary at Cravath from July 1, 1968 to September 1969 (before Margaret (who passed away this April at 92)) but worked with and around him for many years, into the 1990s. He was a wonderful man, lawyer. He loved the law.

He worked six days a week all his life and he traveled a great deal for his clients. Whenever leaving on business trips, Connie would always send Tom a telegram (in those early days) that read simply: "We love you. Connie, Daniel, Anne, Robert, Sally."

So, she was definitely devoted to her family (as was Tom) and because of Tom's dedication to the law and his clients, working in the office six days a week, and away for long stretches of time on business, she was definitely "the example of a strong, independent woman" in raising her children.

You were all blessed with wonderful parents, grandparents.

May 31, 2017

To the Barr Family: My heartfelt sympathies go out to the family and friends during this difficult time. I hope that the promise in 1 Thessalonians 4:14 can bring comfort. Knowing that there's a hope for the ones we have lost in death can be so reassuring.

May 31, 2017

To Miss Cornelias family. My deepest condolence. May our heavenly god bring you great comfort and peace. Mathew 5:4

Sue

May 31, 2017

May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well lived.

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