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Mary Cunningham Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Mary Cunningham
Kerry-Jim Bartlett & Family
October 9, 2010
Dear Ann Marie ,Greg & Alex-We are so sorry to hear of your loss. We are sorry we were not able to be there during this hard time.Aunt Mago will be in our hearts forever.We are thinking and praying for you.
Frank and Mary O'Rourke
September 25, 2010
Dear Anne Marie, Greg and Family,
We are sad your Mother has left us but know your Father has welcomed her home. She was a lovely lady, one of a kind, and Frank and I are glad to be her friends at St. Paul's for many years.
We thought the Mass and prayers were very appropriate and your beautiful story of your Mother's life's story was very inspiring. You are a loving, faithful daughter. May she rest in peace.
Fondly, Frank and Mary O'Rourke
September 24, 2010
THE FOLLOWING EULOGY WAS READ AT ST. PAULS CHURCH ON SEPTEMBER 22, 2010 BY HER SON-IN-LAW GREG CAMPBELL.
THANK YOU ALL FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY DAYS TO TAKE A MOMENT TO REMEMBER MARY JANE.
ADDITIONALLY, THANKS TO ALL WHO STOPPED BY THE HOUSE OVER THE PAST WEEKS TO SHARE SUPPORT, THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS WITH OUR FAMILY.
I MET MARY JANE CUNNINGHAM IN 1986. I HAD MOVED FROM THE MIDWEST TWO YEARS PREVIOUS. I HARDLY KNEW ANYONE IN SAN FRANCISCO. MARY JANE IMMEDIATELY WELCOMED ME INTO HER HOME UPON BEING INTRODUCED BY HER DAUGHER. SHE WOULD HOLD FRIDAY SUPPER FOR ANNE AND I TO TALK ABOUT THE PRECEEDING WEEKS GOINGS ON. WHAT AMAZED ME WAS THAT HER STORIES AND ACTIVITIES WERE ALWAYS MORE INTERESTING THAN OURS. HER SOCIAL CALANDER WAS NEVER EMPTY, IN FACT IT WAS MORE FULL THAN MINE. OVER THE ENSUING YEARS SHE TAUGHT ME THAT IT WAS BETTER TO GIVE, THAN TO RECEIVE. SHE ALWAYS APPRECIATED THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE. SHE LOVED THE THINGS THAT MANY OF US TOOK FOR GRANTED. SHE MADE EVERYBODY FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND HER. FRIENDS, AND FAMILY, STRANGERS. AND EVEN NEW BOYFRIENDS. EVERYBODY.
I QUICKLY REALIZED THAT HER GROUP OF FRIENDS WERE THE CENTER OF HER LIFE. SHE WOULD GO TO MASS DAILY AND END UP ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE CHURCH AT THE STAR BAKERY. IN FACT, WHEN MY WIFE WAS OVERSEAS AND A LITTLE HOMESICK SHE FELT AN URGENCY TO SPEAK TO HER MOTHER, UPON NOT REACHING HER AT HOME SHE CALLED THE BAKERY. SURE ENOUGH, SHE WAS THERE. HARDLY HAVING TIME TO TALK WITH ANNE, SHE HANDED THE PHONE TO OTHERS AT THE BAKERY TO SAY HELLO ANNE, NOT CONCERNED OR CARING THAT IT WAS AN INTERNATIONAL CALL.
AS YEARS WORE ON, MARY JANE WAS SLOWED BY ARTHERITIS IN HER KNEE AND HANDS. SHE DIDN’T MAKE HER DAILY TRIPS OUT AS REGULARY DID, BUT SHE NEVER COMPLAINED OF THIS LACK OF ACTIVITY. SHE STILL TOOK PART IN THE VARIOUS FUCTIONS HER SOCIAL GROUPS PARTICIPATED IN, BUT THE DAILY WALKS TO 24TH ST AND TO ST.PAULS COULD NOT CONTINUE. I THINK SHE MISSED THESE SIMPLE OUTINGS THE MOST IN HER LATER YEARS WHILE LIVING AT 26TH ST. I THINK IT WAS THIS DAILY INTERACTIONS WITH FRIENDS AND ACCQUANTICES SHE WOULD HAPPEN UPON THAT GAVE HER DAILY JOY. I WOULD STOP IN TO THE HOUSE AND VISIT WHEN WORK TOOK ME TO SAN FRANCISCO. EVENTUALLY MY CELL WOULD RING, WITH MY WIFE LOOKING FOR ME. SHE WOULD SOUND A LITTLE CHARGINED WHEN SHE REALIZED I WAS SITTING IN THE KITCHEN TALKING TO MARY JANE, WISHING SHE COULD BE THERE.
EVENTUALLY, WE WELCOMED MARY JANE INTO OUR HOME IN REDWOOD CITY TO MAKE HER MORE COMFORTABLE AND HELP HER WITH GETTING ALONG. MY WIFE SET UP THE FRONT ROOM FOR HER. IT WAS A LARGE ROOM AND LEVEL, WITH BEAUTIFUL LIGHT. BUT SHE SPENT ONLY HER RESTING HOURS IN HER ROOM. SHE PREFERED TO SIT IN THE KITCHEN, READING THE PAPER OR SIT AND WATCH HER TV PROGRAMS IN THE FAMILY ROOM. ANNE KEPT HER ACTIVE BY SENDING HER TO THE CATHOLIC SERVICES DAY CENTER WHERE SHE INTERACTED WITH OTHERS OF HER GENERATION. SHE ALWAYS RETURNED TO THE HOUSE WITH A STORY OR OBSERVATION OF THE DAY. WHETHER IT WAS HOW MANY ORGANGES THE TREES POSSESSED IN THE NEIGHBOORHOOD OR THAT THE MAN IN THE HAT SAID HELLO, SHE WOULD REMIND US OF THE SIMPLE PLEASURES IN LIFE.
SHE AND I ENJOYED WATCHING SPORTING EVENTS TOGETHER, WHICH TO THIS DAY I DON’T KNOW IF SHE ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD THE RULES OF THE GAMES. BUT SHE ALWAYS APPRECIATED HOW THE ATHELETES THREW THEIR BODIES INTO THE COMPETITION AND FELT BAD THAT THERE HAD TO BE A WINNER AND A LOSER. SHE WAS FOR THE HOME TEAM, BUT NEVER TO THE DEGREE OF DISCOUNTING THE FEELINGS AND HOPES OF THE COMPETITORS. SHE LIKED TO SEE THE GIANTS AND 49ERS WIN, BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF MAKING THE OPPOSITION LOOK AND FEEL DEJECTED. WE STRUGGLED WITH PLANNING THE SERVICES THIS WEEK. KNOWING HOW MUCH MARY JANE ENJOYED THE 49ERS, WE FELT SHE WOULD WANT THE SERVICE DELAYED UNTIL TODAY. THIS WAS LATER CONFIRMED TO US IN THREE WAYS; WHEN WE MET WITH FATHER, HE HAD ON A 49ERS SHIRT. YESTERDAY, ANNE FOUND A FULL SIZE POSTER OF JOE MONTANA FOLDED AWAY IN ONE OF HER DRAWERS. I FOUND IT ESPECIALLY MEANINGFUL LAST NIGHT WHEN MY MIND WONDERED BACK TO GRAMMA, THINKING HOW WE WOULD HAVE BEEN ENJOYING THE GAME. IT WAS THEN THAT I LOOKED AT THE SCREEN, REALIZING THAT IT WAS APPROIATE AND HOW IRONIC THAT THE COMPETITION INVOLVED A TEAM WHOSE MASCOT IS A SAINT.
SOME THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE KNOWN ABOUT MARY JANE: SHE WAS BORN IN OAKLAND. SHE NEVER HAD A DRIVER’S LICENCSE. HER FAVORITE TV PROGRAM WAS JUDGE JUDY AND ANYTHING ON CHANNEL 5. SHE READILY TOLD ANYONE SHE NEVER ATE FISH, BUT I WILL LET YOU KNOW, WE HAD HER EATING TUNA CASSOROOL, CALLING IT CHICKEN CASSOLE, WHICH SHE THOUGHT WAS DELIGHTFUL.
HER HERO AND PRIDE WAS HER DAUGHTER ANNE, WHO SO EMBODIES HER MOTHER’S SPIRIT AND LOVE OF LIFE. IT IS DIFFICULT TO STATE THE CARE AND CONCERN ANNE SHOWED HER MOM IN THESE FINAL MONTHS. EVERYTHING THAT COULD BE DONE TO MAKE MARY JANE COMFORTABLE IN OUR HOME WAS ANNE MISSION. SHE ENCOURAGED MARY JANE TO DO FOR HERSELF, WHICH SHE DID UNTIL THE END. THE COURAGE AND LOVE THAT ANNE SHOWED HER MOTHER IN THE FINAL DAYS WOULD MAKE ANY MOTHER PROUD. I FOUND IT PARTICULLARY TOUCHING AND INSPIRING. WHILE EXTREMELY DIFFICULT AT THE END, HER LAST MONTH WAS ALSO A PROFOUND GROWTH EXPERIENCE FOR ME. EVEN IN DYING, SHE TAUGHT US LESSONS
OF COURSE, RIGHT NOW THE LOSS OF GRAMMA IS TOO NEAR AND TENDER. IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME FOR US TO GAIN SOME PERSPECTIVE ON THE MEANING OF NOT HAVING HER IN OUR LIFE. RIGHT NOW, MY MIND IS CLOUDED WITH DISTRESSING IMAGES OF HER DURING HER LAST FEW DAYS. YET I BELIEVE THAT AS TIME PASSES THESE IMAGES WILL FADE. INSTEAD, I WILL REMEMBER THE ESSENCE OF GRANDMA. SHE TOOK GREAT PLEASURE IN SIMPLE THINGS. THIS IS PERHAPS THE MOST PROFOUND LESSON THAT SHE TAUGHT ME, AND ONE I HAVE YET TO FULLY ABSORB.
WHILE MARY JANE IS NOT HERE IN THE FLESH, SHE IS DEFINITELY HERE IN SPIRIT. SHE WILL ALWAYS BE IN OUR HEARTS. SO IN A WAY I AM THE WALKING EMBODIMENT OF MARY JANE, AS WE ALL ARE. BECAUSE WHILE WE LIVE, SHE STILL LIVES ON. SO I CANNOT GRIEVE TOO MUCH TODAY BECAUSE SHE IS NOT JUST ALL AROUND ME, SHE IS A PART OF ME. SHE IS NOT GONE. SHE IS IN THE AIR. SHE IS IN EACH BREATH I TAKE. SHE IS IN EVERY STEP I TAKE. SHE IS INTEGRATED INSIDE ME. KNOWING THIS I CAN ACCEPT HER PASSING. I AM RELIEVED THAT HER SUFFERING IS AT AN END. I BELIEVE HER SPIRIT IS STILL AROUND, UNFETTERED AND FREE AT LAST.
POEM OF LIFE
LIFE IS BUT A STOPPING PLACE,
A PAUSE IN WHAT'S TO BE,
A RESTING PLACE ALONG THE ROAD,
TO SWEET ETERNITY.
WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT JOURNEYS,
DIFFERENT PATHS ALONG THE WAY,
WE ALL WERE MEANT TO LEARN SOME THINGS,
BUT NEVER MEANT TO STAY...
OUR DESTINATION IS A PLACE,
FAR GREATER THAN WE KNOW.
FOR SOME THE JOURNEY'S QUICKER,
FOR SOME THE JOURNEY'S SLOW.
AND WHEN THE JOURNEY FINALLY ENDS,
WE'LL CLAIM A GREAT REWARD,
AND FIND AN EVERLASTING PEACE,
TOGETHER WITH THE LORD.
Jean Carroll
September 22, 2010
My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Mary Jane was a truly wonderful woman, so caring and genuine. She will be sorely missed. The Altar Society and Womens Club events won't be the same without her.
September 21, 2010
Dear Anne,
I am sorry to hear of the passing of your mother. She was a beautiful person, always with a smile on her face and a genuine heart of gold. I will always treasure the time I went on one of the Senior excursions gambling, and your mother and I had fun seeing who would get the next win!
May she rest in peace and may you and your family find comfort in all the memories that you hold dear.
Blessings,
Mary Maestas
Mary Dumlao-Lee
September 21, 2010
Dear Anne, Greg & Alex - Seeing your mom's beautiful smile brings back so many wonderful childhood memories for me at your home...hearing her say "Annemarie, it's little Mary" every time I'd call makes me laugh and cry right now. We all know she was a great person and have so many wonderful thoughts and memories of her that will be with us forever. Love you always -mary-
Lorrie & Jim Garrity
September 21, 2010
Dear Anne & Greg & Alex--We are so sorry to hear of your loss. Your Mom was such a great lady. She always greeted us with a huge smile and was always so kind to us. We are so glad that she came to our wedding. Our St. Patrick's day wedding would not have been the same without Aunt Mary Jane there to celebrate with us. We will truly miss her at yours and the Follan family functions. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
Darlene Hensing
September 21, 2010
Dearest Anne - I'm deeply touched by the passing of your wonderful Mom. I've thought many times of her throughout the years since I first met her when you and I were in 8th grade and throughout our high school years. How she and your Dad welcomed me into their home early in the mornings when my own Dad had to drop me off so early before work.
Please know that my heartfelt prayers are with you and your family. I wish I could be at her service but cannot but I will be thinking of you.
Darlene Hensing (Robles)
September 20, 2010
Anne, Greg and Alex. We grieve at the passing of such a great Irish lady. She loved her family,her faith,her home ----and a good party. Her happiness in life was infectious. We were truly blessed to be acquainted with Mary Jane for 20+ years after our son Greg married her lovely daughter Anne. Mary Jane accompanied us on many adventures when we would visit S.F. Somethings became traditional, like eating at "Alice's" restaurant. She loved to send greeting cards and we were a recipient for many holidays or occasions. She would phone when it became difficult for her to write.
Be glad for her life among us and the many lives she has touched . Family, friends and Noe Valley will miss her and she will live forever in our hearts.
Ted & Becky Campbell
Yellow Springs, Ohio
September 20, 2010
Dearest Anne Marie,
Wonderful words, so truly describing a phenomenal person! Though we weren't in each others' live much, the one thing that always stood out to me was her fabulous smile that warmed the hearts of ALL who came near to her. And the smile was only the beginning of the rest of a wonderful tremendous woman! True, she IS being greeted by her many loved ones there in heaven, & though we can't help but miss her & cry that she's not with us in body now, what a party they are having all together there beyond! My heart & prayers are with you now, that it can be a time of remembering a great person, wonderful Mom, & dear friend. Lots of love, Susie (Yates) Weiler
Sr. Rachel Crotti, FMA, Salesian Sisters
September 19, 2010
Dear Anne Marie,
What a beautiful tribute you wrote for your daer mom--and she deserved each and every word! Her smile says it all. She was and continues to be ever so loving and caring. My own mom must have welcomed her to heaven along with Jim and her many relatives. I thank God that I knew and loved her from my earliest years. Sorry I cannot be there in person for her funeral. I am close to you and Greg and Alex in spirit, in love and in prayer. Know that from heaven your dear mom continues to love and to help you as she has always done.
May Our Lady, whom your mom dearly loved, comfort you and guide you especially during these challenging days.
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