Mary Nesbit Obituary

Mary Arguello Nesbit April 29, 1950-October 17, 2010 Do not go gentle into that good night, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. After as brave of a fight as anybody could possibly muster, our brilliant Mary left us early last Sunday morning. She is survived by her mother Marguerite Arguello of Fairfield; sisters Rebecca Arguello of Napa and Roberta Arguello of Oakland; brother Michael Arguello of Vacaville; husband William Nesbit of Daly City, daughter Marguerite (Peggy) Nesbit of Oakland, as well as innumerable cats and dear friends. Mary was born in Las Vegas, New Mexico and had a peripatetic childhood, moving from place to place as part of an Air Force family. The years she spent in France especially stayed with her all of her life. She graduated from Topeka High School (KS) in 1968 and settled in the Bay Area soon after. Mary excelled at everything she tried, but settled on bookkeeping as her profession in 1980. Over the next 30 years, she earned the loyalty and respect of all that she worked with. Like Mark Twain, Mary never let her schooling interfere with her education. Simply put, she was the smartest person you would ever care to meet. Her greatest joy was reading, but she was also a skilled knitter and possessed a razor-sharp wit. Mary was to have boarded a plane for her beloved Paris the day before she died. We like to think that's where she is now. The only thing more unbearable than her loss would have been never having her with us at all. There will be a celebration of Mary's life on Saturday October 30th at Caesar's Restaurant in San Francisco. If you are someone who had been out of touch with Mary and you would like to attend, please leave contact details on the online guestbook at SFGate. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in her name to the SFSPCA Feral Cat Program at (415) 554-3029 or to Project Open Hand at www.openhand.org.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by San Francisco Chronicle from Oct. 24 to Oct. 25, 2010.

Memories and Condolences
for Mary Nesbit

9 Entries

GEORGE PARSONS

November 10, 2010

Mary was extremely generous to me when I first ventured on to the NYT Books.She was highly intelligent, argued logically and lucidly, had a sense of humour and believed in reason. We will miss her.

Dave Haan

November 10, 2010

Adding my respects and condolences.
Mary had more recently graced the bookchat at worldliteratureforum.com as Sevigne, her biographical self-description there: "I resemble Monty Python's housewife who decided to visit Paris to ask Sartre a question" ... her wit and wisdom will be sorely missed.

avrds

November 8, 2010

How nice to see the readers from the New York Times coming out to honor Chartres, a woman who lived a life well read.

I'm sure each of us has a book or writer she pointed us toward. For me it was Moby Dick (and that cantankerous westerner, DeVoto).

My condolences to her family. She will be missed indeed.

Julie Stodolka

November 7, 2010

Chartres

One man's avatar; another's holy ground.

Where the light flooded in,
the words tumbled after
the confessions,
the laughter.

Rain mars the glass now.
Faith barely warms the stone.

And it is still beautiful.

Callicles Deadloss

November 6, 2010

Dearest Mary, when we corresponded on the New York Times, your wit invariably spurred me to Pindaric flights, Goliard would have said Pundoric fights, - - for once I am left without words. I embrace your memory, as I do, virtually this evening, the others here, Jen, John and Whit, the (once, now) merry company from that wonderful time who joined you in what, retrospectively, is now, and more so with your death, the lost art of civilized and intelligent conversation. Sit tibi terra levis.

Jennifer Parsons

November 4, 2010

I am so sad.

I met Mary early on in the Times Books Forums years. She became a fast friend there, treasured by me and all for her wit, rich trove of knowledge of British historical and literary detail, and renowned for her love of France and Proust. I often thought she'd make a fine children's story writer, in her unique piquant style. She spoke of her family with great affection.

Mary, if you're looking on, I meant to but never managed to tell you that I finally got around to reading "Swann's Way" a year or so ago and think it the best thing I've read.

My deep condolences to your family and friends.

Whitney

November 4, 2010

And it was from 'Bo', that I learned of Mary's passing. Known as 'Chartres' on the Times forums, Mary was an inspiration indeed. I am shocked and saddened by her passing.. Ioffer my deepest condolences to her family and her family of friends.
Whitney Vale

John Abel

November 2, 2010

I just returned from 3 weeks of no computer access to hear of Mary's passing.Sad does not describe how I feel.Mary was my first NYTimes book forums friends and I kept in touch with her for all these years over books.She was a one in a million and I shall miss her every day but recall all the fun we had online and the one time I met her in person.John Abel otherwise known as Bo from the NYTimes forums.

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