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John Rouse

1950 - 2017

John Rouse obituary, 1950-2017, San Francisco, VA

John Rouse Obituary

John D. Rouse, M.D.

June 20, 1950 - April 26, 2017

Psychiatrist, tenor, cook, party-giver, and world-class friend, uncle, brother, and son, John Dashiell Rouse passed away at his beautiful Victorian home in the Haight on April 26 after a brief illness. The world is a little duller and a lot less elegant.

John was born in Newport News, Virginia, the only child of John Dashiell Rouse and Anne Colonna Rouse. He attended Ferguson High School and then Yale University, where he earned his B.A. in the History & Theory of Music. While at Yale, he sang in the Freshman Glee Club, the Spizzwinks, the University (Chapel) Choir, the Yale Glee Club, and the Whiffenpoofs.

John went on to medical school at the University of Virginia and then chose to come to San Francisco for his residency in psychiatry at Mount Zion. He had planned to become an analyst in private practice, but found that he was fascinated and energized by working in the emergency room. He spent the bulk of his career as an Attending Psychiatrist in Psychiatric Emergency Services at UCSF/San Francisco General Hospital, and held the position of Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCSF at the time of his death. He taught and mentored countless young doctors, who remember him as "generous, genuinely kind and interested in others, centered, witty, incisive, with a uniquely humane and helpful touch."

He was co-chair of the Physicians' Organizing Committee's Northern California Commission on Psychiatric Resources. He was a tireless and passionate, yet at the same time patient, advocate for the mentally ill. His decades of experience in mental health were invaluable in shaping policy, and in 2015 the group honored him with its Civic Engagement Award "in recognition of his active participation in advocating for the mental health needs of the seriously mentally ill and his activist stance in demanding that government entities live up to their responsibilities to the needs of the mentally ill."

After John's father died in the Korean War, his mother married Marcus Clifton "Cliff" Burnette in 1958, and a few years later they gave John a little sister, Sarah, to cherish and torment. John was off to Yale by the time Sarah was four, but they remained close, vacationed together every year, and co-hosted wonderful family Christmas parties for the extended Rouse and Burnette families on the East Coast. John often returned to San Francisco in time to host legendary New Year's Eve parties for his other family of Bay Area singers, from his second career in music. He sang with Lamplighters Music Theatre for 40 years, starting in the chorus, then shortly earning several patter baritone roles before being etherealized into the tenor realm and singing many leading tenor roles in the Gilbert & Sullivan repertoire, and other roles including the Grand Inquisitor in Bernstein's "Candide."

He was a Pacific Regional Finalist in the Metropolitan Opera auditions in 1984, sang with American Bach Soloists for many years, and performed operatic roles including Tamino in "The Magic Flute" with Berkeley Opera under the late great maestro George Cleve, Don Jose in "Carmen" with Monterey Opera, and Belmonte in "The Abduction from the Seraglio" among other roles with Pocket Opera.

He was a founding member and longtime tenor soloist with the Yale Alumni Chorus, most recently performing the Mozart Requiem in Hanoi and Singapore. At the time of his death, he was on the Chorus board and was co-producing, and looking forward to, the Chorus's visit to Toronto in August. In recent months, he had very much enjoyed his new affiliation with The Family, with whom he performed as well.

He was an acclaimed cook, often contributing the most astonishing creations to otherwise mundane potluck parties, and, like a good Virginia gentleman, always bringing out the good silver when he entertained at home. He restored and decorated a beautiful 1888 two-flat Victorian in the Haight, and had nearly completed making his own harpsichord.

Dr. Rouse is survived by his mother, his sister Sarah Burnette Conrad, her husband Roger and their children Nate, Annlouise, and Stuart, of Alexandria, Virginia, along with many beloved cousins and a wide network of loving friends and colleagues. He was predeceased by his father and stepfather and by his longtime partner Pasqual Calabrese.

John's family and friends want to thank his Kaiser hospice team, especially Ruby Ashley, for extraordinary care in the last weeks of his life.

There will be celebrations of John's life at a future date on both east and west coasts. His remains will be buried at the Rouse gravesite in Smithfield, Virginia. Memorial gifts may be made to Lamplighters Music Theatre, 469 Bryant Street, San Francisco CA 94107, lamplighters.org.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by San Francisco Chronicle from May 4 to May 7, 2017.

Memories and Condolences
for John Rouse

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Chris Mende

September 22, 2021

John, I´m finally bringing myself to this site to honor your life and my connection to it. I worked alongside you in San Francisco General´s Psychiatric Emergency Services for seven of my most difficult yet rewarding years as an RN. You were a kindred spirit there - your humanity, humor, well written and thorough patient evaluations, your vast experience in the field, your intellectual and cultural breadth, (I think I could go on and on), all were among my best teaching examples. That we were both singers didn´t hurt. That we were both steeped in musicality.
You came to my 60th birthday party (how can it be 17 years ago??) and met my elderly and joyous lover, Ruth. I was honored.
When I moved on from PES I missed your companionship as a colleague. And I´m very sad that your death cut short a life filled with brilliance and musical joy. Perhaps you were simply too radiant for this world and had the stars to join! You have certainly left some lovely memories for many of us. Bon voyage!

Elizabeth Hayes

April 24, 2019

As we prepare for the 100th Anniversary of St. Andrews Episcopal Church, the church that John grew up in, I remember the young man that sang in the Junior Choir and the Glorious Voice that he gifted us with when he came home to visit. What a sweet child and an Amazing young man!

Thomas Tarpley

June 24, 2018

John Rouse was an amazing man with many talents and possessed a joie de vivre unlike any person I have known. He loved his work and the Lamplighters with tremendous passion.

I worked for John for 10 years...helping him to restore his beautiful Victorian. We shared many great times, meals and extravagant parties. His home was so full of life...if those walls could talk, they would sing. One could frequently hear him playing his piano and singing outside on the sidewalk.

John loved his dogs, Bearded Dragon, countless books, jogging through GGP and the many trips he took all over the globe. He had so much adventure and lived his life to the fullest.

It is truly sad to know of his passing so soon in life. San Francisco will never be the same without him. It was an honor to have helped him and to spend so much quality time with a stellar human being. Thank you, John Rouse, for the love and kindness you bestowed upon me...you will never be forgotten.

September 11, 2017

I just recently returned from Italy to learn of John's passing. John was born June 20 and I June 2. Our paths crossed in Lamplighter,I performing as violinist in the pit ,and of course John on stage. After my daughter was born with autism he guided me through some difficult times. His wit and beautiful voice will be missed by all who knew him. With deep sympathy to his family,, Brenda Bellizzi

June 17, 2017

A Memorial Service for John D. Rouse is planned for Saturday June 24, 11AM at St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, 45 Main Street, Newport News, VA.

David Fariello

May 11, 2017

I've known John for well over 30 years through me work with seriously mentally ill adults in San Francisco. I also knew him because his past partner Pasquale Calabrese was my coworker for many years. He was a delight to be with: warm, smart, funny, and compassionate. We worked closely with some very challenging clients, and I learned much as a result. I miss him, but am very thankful to have known him.

Meg Brizzolara

May 8, 2017

Godspeed John Rouse. The most decent man to grace the halls of San Francisco General's Department of Psychiatry. If there is a heaven you are there treating patients with compassion, dignity and respect that we would all do well to emulate. You will be sorely missed.

May 8, 2017

I had the honor of working with Dr. Rouse in the Psych Emergency Service at SFGH. He was a great role model, compassionate and humanitarian in his approach to the homeless mentally ill.
So sad he has departed too soon.
(Mai Alyschild, RN)

Lauri Hjelm

May 8, 2017

Thank you John Rouse for being a powerful positive force in the psychiatric ER, for being an excellent and entertaining teacher and for being just all round exceptional.

May 8, 2017

RIP the unit feels different without you

May 7, 2017

Fondly remembered

Eric Morris

May 7, 2017

My friend. A tenor of note, a charmer and sapiophile, a powerhouse musician. All true, all pale in comparison to his humanity and compassion. You are, and will be, missed greatly. You were, are, and will be always beloved by many...

Norman Stein

May 3, 2017

From that harrowing ride home from Spring Tour on the NJ Tpke in the Easter Sunday blizzard of 1970, to your beautiful tones at YAC events so many years later, I will remember you as the extraordinary, gentle, talented man I first got to know almost 50 years ago. Rest in peace.

May 2, 2017

Such a pleasure to be with, to sing with, and to listen to. Knowledgeable about so many things (I had a great stroke of luck being with John in Russia one day, and he and his guide book made my trip). But mostly I remember smiling whenever I saw him, and having that smile returned. Thanks for stopping with us, John; sorry you had to leave too soon.
Sherry

Marty Amick

May 1, 2017

Farewell, gentle Spizzwink.

Betty Abbitt Hayes

May 1, 2017

So sad to have to say goodby to such a talented and loving young man. I knew John when he was a young boy, singing in the childrens choir at St. Andrews. My heart goes out to his Mom and all his family and friends.

Kate Doyle Brown

May 1, 2017

John was such a sweet man and I am sorry that he had to depart this life so young. Many memories of our days at Lamplighter's. RIP dear John.

Bonnie

April 30, 2017

John was a delightful travel companion on YAC trips and an extraordinary talent. Gone far too soon. So sorry for your loss.

Sean Maher

April 30, 2017

Ride the Chariot...Hitch your wagon to a star.......

John Maddox

April 30, 2017

We traveled together through med school and onto California in 1976. Wish we had kept up more through the years. Via con Dios, John.

Griffin

April 30, 2017

So sorry to hear about your loss. You know that God and Jesus are in the best position to comfort us when we lose a loved one in death.

Madelyn Conrad

April 30, 2017

My late husband, Dr Jack Randolph Conrad, and I shared beach vacations on the Outer Banks with John, the Burnette family, Sarah, and our son Roger. John was always the master chef and I will never forget his Boeuf Wellington. So many happy memories to cherish.

Rita Helfand

April 30, 2017

It is so hard to sum up John in a few words. A mensch, amazing doctor, kind person, funny man with that twinkle in his eye. He always had a moment for you and talked many of us off the ledge more times than I can count. He was the heart of the Yale alumni chorus and I know we will carry him in our hearts forever, esp on the upcoming tour which he helped produce. We love you and will miss you John!

Mark Van Raam

April 30, 2017

I'm sorry for the loss of Dr Rouse.
I feel like we literally crossed paths. I was born at Mt Zion hospital in 1951 and was raised in San Francisco. I've worked almost my whole professional career in Newport News at the shipyard.
He sounds like he was a great guy.

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